#idk how i feel about this lmaooo

[skellagirl]

Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'

#and they're SO right #half life #half life 2 #gordon freeman #alyx vance #barney calhoun #freemance #valhoun #freehounce #idk what the hell their poly ship name is sorry lol #(me. posting about a ship with an age gap on the 'can't be normal about age gap ships' website: #SURE HOPE THERE ISN'T ANY AGE GAP DISCOURSE IN HERE) #this was the first time I've drawn any of these characters in LITERAL YEARS and. wow........ #feels so crazy that this was the fandom that got me to join tumblr in the first place (in 2011!!!!) and I used to draw them ALL THE TIME #interests change I guess #but I think I'll always come back to hl and portal occasionally. they're too much a part of my dna at this point LOL #my art #description in alt text #oh my god I just went back through my half life tag and the last time I drew these three was when I drew that freehounce meme LMAOOO #how serendipitious

[pessimisticprincess]

sink your teeth, split my skin

just make me bleed

#feral posting unfortunately but idk how i feel about the way i look i dont even recognize myself #like at all again saying angles really are everything lmaooo #anyways need hip and sternum tattoos immediately:( #body

[llawlieta]

you get to resurrect one of these Death Note characters so that they may go back to the past and "fix" it... you can try to tell them what you think they should do, but, oh no, the super convenient magical Death Note loophole that has allowed this resurrection to happen doesn't leave you with a lot of time to explain!! it's ultimately up to them!!

#Death Note #lau.txt #I'm just playing dolls with these polls at this point. idk. they're so FUN #sorry had to add the 'Matt lmaooo' option. I still think it could be our vanilla extract. if we want it to be. #but also answer seriously if u wish. tell me in the tags how u think they would/should fix the plot/circumstances that led to their death #I'm so curious #coolest thing about polls is even if not a lot of you guys tell me your thoughts I can Feel you all There. because there are sooo many more #votes than notes. makes me remember there are lurkers who don't like or rb skjskj I feel accompanied. by you all. it's beautiful #anyway if you guys don't vanilla extract Matt then I'm predicting a Naomisweep personally

[deus-ex-mona]

looking on at the ✨hype✨ about last stage like

#i wanna be excited about it too!!!!! lemme in~~~~~~~~~~ #maybe it’s just bc i didn’t listen to the ‘loid version on the koishiteru album but i think im not as excited about it as i should be lmaooo #on jp twt there are fans screaming about last stage and i. feel kinda left out ngl??? fomo’s hittin’ like a truck and idek w h y #but me? im just clinging to meoto to ✨carry on✨ #idk why but it kinda sounds like that song aka***ki enstrs sang to beat r****ts to a pulp in the anime #i dont even like enstrs anymore so idk why that song was the first thing i thought of when i heard the preview help #in any case!!!!! i hope the rest of the new songs get mvs!!!! especially meoto!!!!!!!!!!!! #going by the love chuchuchu(chu! kawaikute gomen—) im p sure that’s gonna be the moge mv lol #wont be surprised if their outfits in the mv are the same ones that they’re wearing in the moge-ilustrated album standees… #if that is indeed how the oshi no mahou mv is gonna go… all of you will now owe me tree fiddy >:) if not nothing happens idk #im very much looking forward to seeing where the completely new direction of upcoming lxl songs is gonna take us though #(p r a y i n g for lxl falling for each other in 4k hd p ls—) #g o d i should really get some sleep my innate state of crabbiness is creepin’ in the tags here too aaaaaa

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

something i've been thinking a lot about today is that in the ten years i've been writing, i have an unconscious (and sometimes, very conscious) expectation that the next thing i write will be better than the last, but sometimes it's clear that progress doesn't work that way, and there will be projects that stick more than others, and projects that don't seem as easy, or projects that don't seem as impressive or as interesting, and it's been freeing accepting that!

#not to keep harping on about hallowed bodies lol #but with BODY BACK everything was really clear #even when it was very confusing I always knew what to do with that project maybe because harrison's very clear to me #and it's not that lonan isn't clear to me because he is but not in the same way #but HB is confusing! idk what the point is! idk where we're going really! #which MAKES SENSE BECAUSE THAT'S HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE!!! #but I've been unhappy with it for the last week and i'm tired of feeling that way #so what if it “isn't as good” lol life is short who cares #gonna just let go of that feeling now and try to keep going because I deserve to have fun lmaooo

[babyfairy]

i really hate how weirdly self aware i am sometimes. idk how to explain it. it’s like being aware of when i overreact or i’m being sensitive or i’m acting weird or noticing changes in the way people talk to me or behave around me is just all too much. but i’m always like hypervigilant about all of those things. so when they aren’t “right” then i feel like shit lol. and i feel like i come off like i’m dumb and maybe never notice anything but i do. i just never say anything about any of it because what’s the point

#like i notice patterns in what people avoid talking about around me #or changes in demeanor when i say or do certain things. and honestly i just feel weird and like unsettling idk lmaooo #i don’t feel like an outcast really like i know i’m not but i just feel Off and Weird like i just don’t fit right anywhere or with anyone #and i never will. that’s how it feels sometimes #it’s very rare for me to feel like i belong or that my presence is like. highly valuable if that makes sense #idk! none of this matters lol i’m just lamenting feeling normal and i feel like i will never feel normal again

[arklay]

WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

#tag games. #keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying) #i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day #or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words #are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i #still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to #sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just #like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how #i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then #disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your #creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about #being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually #filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm #rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not #i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted #the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but #also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or #leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well #because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations) #but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg

[notyuta]

the fact of the matter is that i can't listen to chill kill without thinking the melody of the chorus sounds like a song from rocky horror

#like not one in particular i just think it sounds like that #and idk how to feel about it lmaooo

[sscrambledmeggss]

me when i forgot an assignment and cry about it <3

#i emailed the professor begging to let me submit it LMAOOO #i was like girl please there is family over with kids i had to watch i didn’t have time </3 please i wrote out the whole thing already #i just forgot to hit send </3 #girl please </3 #i am going to get a b in speech and idk how to handle that 😭😭 #i’m too much of a perfectionist for this #genuinely feel awful about not submitting it <3 #meg’s incoherent thoughts

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here

i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual

#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?) #bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad #i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off #i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn' #bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding #and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him) #and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp #so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random #7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like #being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have #at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory #that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know #meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane #I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do #the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw #and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐 #and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc #and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us' #&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night #if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?' #you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it) #i'm schizophrenic 🤷‍♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that #you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy #and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou #i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and #'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm. #and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO) #and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa????? #right when i get back into him??? #it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy

[m4ruk4ts]

tirame un fósforo y me prendo fuego, tirame un fósforo sino me muero.

#she's so female rage #like i said on instagram; #this drawing is more like; a representation of angie's despair and anxiety at her decline as a country on every possible level #i don't feel comfortable associating politics with hetalia. specially if it's about my ocs #idk how politics work zzzzzzzzz #nothing better than being anxious and mortified about your future and your people #while you're forced to be a spectator of your own existence #also this song is so her SDLFKSDFL I LOVE IT I LOVE MAKING HER MISERABLE LMAOOO #this is also a redraw but i dont feel like adding the old one lmao #hetalia #hetalia argentina #aph argentina #hws argentina #hetalia oc #oc x canon #my art

[todayisafridaynight]

Genuinely hoping they don’t give Ichiban a love interest or something. I just detest focusing on romances with some exceptions like whatever Nanba and Saeko keep doing tbh 💀 And I do not have high hopes after the things they kept doing with Kiryu in different games. Actually that’s one of my fears with 8 😭😭

if it's any consolidation, i doubt they'll give ichi a love interest- or it won't be a main plot point anyhow

rgg's never really handled romance with tact, and i think as the series went on they kinda realized that and had romance plots sort of fizzle out (Y1's climax was Certainly a love triangle, and while Y2 had kiryu and kaoru romance is never a major prevalent thing again. closest we get is akiyama and yasuko but it's about as relevant as akiyama's part, then it's not really brought up again)

#snap chats #i dont wanna say i hate romance but it's really hard for me to get into it #i think love is beautiful but yeah it's not my favorite to have to watch if i'm playing an action game #also i dont interpret saeko and nanba's relationship as romantic tbh- i love their relationship for that honestly #like nanba def thinks saeko's attractive. We All Do LBR but he's not weird about it #their dynamic's really cute they're besties from how i see it #ALSO REAL QUICK IK SOMEONE GON BRING UP SOMEYA IN Y6 #i wouldnt call that romance like that's more so someya not being able to get over shit ☠️ #like romance is when both parties are like. into it yk Let Me Explain Oh My GOD #romance is when its kinda lighthearted and. dear god this really is hard to explain #like with someya his feelings feel more like.. a concern ? #like his love isnt supposed to be taken as ideal it's supposed to be like 'hey can you relax bro' LMAO #idk no one's here for that ramble anyways anon i think we'll be fine #considering they had ichi Frame One be like 'yeah i have no game :((((' i doubt rgg will let him score LMAOOO

[stamour]

love (unintentionally) views sex as transactional but the only thing they get out of it is (perceived) validation for making their partners feel good lol

#usfw / #︵ ♡ 𝗠𝗨𝗦 ﹕ headcanons ꒱ .ᐟ #i say perceived bc it's like. very shallow. like bby ur self worth should nawt be measured by how good u are in bed #sadly what love learned from being in the entertainment industry for so long is that sex is the fastest way to get someone to like u #yet it's usually very surface level. they've had a lot of fwb type situations bc they're lonely n like #'give them the best sex of their life n they'll want to be around me more' #ofc this is a sex positive household!! but love's approach is very unhealthy and that needs to be acknowledged as well #most of her self esteem relies on her own objectification #random hc i have is that the number of times love's made someone else finish vs the number of times they have is... very imbalanced #bc they dont really care about their own pleasure they get that from tallying up the other person's organism lmaooo #i also half joke that love's one flaw is that he'd cry after sex but it's also partly true IF #he has an emotional connection with the other person first. and comes to the realization that it's about that connection n unity #and suddenly it's different than all the other experience love has had. it'd be overwhelming #and may take a bit for them to get comfortable tbh #idk why i started rambling about this LOL it's just been in my head for the past couple of days #love makes me sad. she's surrounded by love and yet feels like there's a huge part missing #bc sure fans love her. her family loves her. but she DOES want romantic connection as well #and i think that's valid and okay #will i let it happen tho? probably not ehehe

[rocaillefox]

stories are like... genuinely so important.

#ramblings #im crying abt orv again #genuinely i think orv is like... one of my favorite books ngl #i didnt used to have one; there are a few highlights i think #but usually a story is really good at capturing a specific feeling or emotion or circumstance #or they excel at one character and the others feel tacked on #but theres just something about orv with like... the narrative weight #its a commentary on so many things #so many of the characters have full dimensions #but now id say in terms of stories that stick with me #and the percentage of how much they impact my approach to stories etc #orv is a solid like. 31% of my favor in regards to stories #(thats worded SO weirdly . bestowing favor like some royalty or whatever LMAOOO but idk how else to phrase it) #(its taken up about 31% of my heart dedicated to stories? #idk. but it is a very significant portion

[scattered-winter]

crazy how I literally have no energy to do anything ever like isn't that totally wild (my life is literally in shambles)

#guy buried in rubble extending a shaking bloody thumbs up #going home again tomorrow. hopefully for longer this time. i dont know. #i dont know anything about how the next few weeks are gonna go. #and i realized today that theres a very very very good chance she'll die on or near my birthday. or halloween. my fav holiday. #and idk. the sinking feeling of realizing that this time of year that has always been the most enjoyable for me #will from this point forward be my worst memory. #i dont. really know what to do with that. #my birthday's gonna suck this year. lmao. #and very possibly it will also suck every year for the rest of my life. lmaooo. #logically i know ill probably move past it after a while. like i know it gets more manageable with time and all that. #but its just. very overwhelmingly depressing rn while im caught in the middle of it. #hh. i need to sleep so i can make some calls and drive home tomorrow. but well thats not gonna happen i dont think. </3 #winter speaks #personal #grief tag #<- might wanna blacklist because. as the kids say. shit has gotten real.

[chaoticgremlinbrainspace]

was going insane at a friend last night now I need to research transness in the 70s and all that fun stuff so I can be fully unhinged and maybe actually write smth for once instead of being haunted by visions

#grem screams #I love history #I love reading and learning about the past and the people #I love seeing the way things have changed the way things reflect and parallel and diverge #I also just really like queer history #I love learning about the ways people existed and shit #idk theres just smth so cool about people in spaces that aren't really talked about in regular history classes and like learning about them #I might be a lil cringe boy art student who cant help but romanticize shit because hes full of feelings but idk it got me feeling #sometime of way #idk lately ive been feeling like I cant quite find the words to describe what I am I just know I am what I am #and that often people just get it or they dont lol #ngl this all started off as me vague posting about wanting to write a trans genda scout from tf2 fic and getting wya too invested in how #that would work logically bc it needs to be accurate #it needs to be a journey!!! #and I want it to be in charater #but im also a lil bitch for angst lmao #im also a nerd lmaooo that and its hard for me to write things dow n with out it sounding wrong or just not right you know? #it feels wholly too earnest and cheesy to my own ears and it makes me shrivel up like a popcorn left in the oven #uh anyway I think trans scout is neat actually and I would love to see more explorations into it guess im gonna attempt to be the change I #wanna see in the world lmao #idk hes just so easy to grab and dunk into the #world is fuck being different is hard give 200 dollars sauce you know? #veeerrrry easy to project onto the trans angst is he is like sponge and I am a vicious liquid #and he has daddy issues lmao apparently arcording to my very small sampling size that tends to happen side by side #and idk I think it would make sense for scout to just straight up not know a lot of shit he gives #me when I was in middle school and I thought it was funny to trick people into thinking I was a guy even tho I was totally a girl /sarcasm #he gives deep in the denial sauce but also totally extremely uncomfy when people find out and getting unreasonably happy when hes called si #but ahahaha nooo im totally a girl haha and just feeling more awkward now #lmao #sorry for the rambling lmao idk if this is accurate for his charater I do think him being trans could be a fun thing to just explore and sh