#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)

[markantonys]

AMOL chapters 9-20

“[lan] remembered teaching that same concept [duty being heavier than a mountain] to a youth out of the two rivers. a sheepherder, innocent of the world, fearful of the fate laid out before him by the pattern.” 😭😭

update since last recap: gawene ARE officially married! “the marriage had been performed by silviana in a simple ceremony the night before.” and right now it’s morning, which must be at least the morning after the Big Meeting if not several mornings after. so they weren’t married yet in chapters 1-8 but they are now. why did it happen offscreen! why do the weddings i want to see keep happening offscreen (this + lanaeve) when we saw morgase and tallanvor’s, a wedding i could not care less about, onscreen! how could you deprive me of “clandestine wedding the night before we die in battle tomorrow” when that is my favorite wedding trope! yes we already got it with perrin and faile but i want it AGAIN!

“it still felt odd to know that egwene had authorized her own wedding. when you were the highest authority, what else could you do?” jkjfg incredible. now i’m thinking of rand and elayne legally authorizing themselves to marry each other as well as mat and avi and if anyone’s like “but you can’t marry 3 people!” they can say “well actually i’m the highest authority, so jot that down.”

“rand turned back to the maps. what he saw impressed him. elayne was preparing well.” proud husband!!

RANDLAYNE SCENE!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am going to break this down in so much detail with so many quotes that you’ll basically read the entire scene by reading this post, let’s go

it begins by rand being surprised when elayne enters the tent and elayne being surprised to find him there, which should not be possible since they’re bonded but whatever lmao for once with randlayne in this book that IS something small and harmless enough that i can happily suspend disbelief!

“now here was life. flushed cheeks, golden hair with a hint of honey and rose, eyes that burned like a bonfire. her dress of crimson showed the swell of the children she bore. light, she was beautiful.” completing the holy trinity of mat’s and aviendha’s loving descriptions of how beautiful elayne is! tragically rand is the only one who doesn’t mention her hair glowing in a conveniently placed source of light, but her eyes are glowing so half credit! he also notes later that she smells wonderful lmao

“rand al’thor, are you going to talk to me, or do you wish to ogle me further?” “if i can’t ogle you, whom can i ogle?” djfkgj i love them your honor!!! also this is so funny, “whom can i ogle if not you” rand says as if they both don’t know full well that he has 2 other girlfriends.

elayne scolds him for sneaking up on her and says “honestly, as if aviendha weren’t enough” (since avi snuck up on her a couple chapters ago) AVIRANDLAYNE THROUPLE TRUTHERS RISE!!!

both of them definitely show concern over secrecy and not wanting people to know that rand came to visit her, which is interesting, although neither mentions a specific reason for this. i assume it would be because they’re both two extremely high-profile leaders and they want to keep their personal relationship under wraps, and perhaps also because they wouldn’t want the other leaders to accuse rand of showing favoritism to elayne and things like that. which all makes perfect sense. except for the fact that bashere made elayne publicize the fact that rand is her babydaddy djfkgj so now what’s the point of sneaking around? sanderson never thinks to consider in depth other characters’ perception/public perception of rand’s various relationships (though rj started dropping off in the last couple books too, since mat and nynaeve stopped reacting to rand having multiple gfs despite being very pressed about it in LOC and WH respectively).

i’m totally onboard for them wanting to keep their relationship quiet for the above reasons, and in fact i defs think that’s the wisest course of action (even if my heart wants them to be a public power couple), but in that case sanderson should’ve a) not had elayne tell everyone rand’s her babydaddy and b) made it clear for the first 8 chapters that this was what was going on, so then their ignoring each other and needing to use third parties to find out what’s going on in the other person’s camp would’ve come off as a bona fide attempt to be discreet rather than Batshit Insanity. (and even then they should’ve had a quick scene right off the bat wherein one Traveled into the other’s tent, they reunited and talked about the babies, and then agreed to keep their distance until they could find another moment to meet in secret.)

“i am happy to see you, and i am glad you came. i’m just trying to get into my head how you fit into all of this. how we fit into all of this.” “i don’t know. i’ve never figured it out.” this seems like an allusion to the political complications their personal relationship poses, but again the idea is referred to in such a strangely vague way. we deserved books and books of rand and elayne dealing with the PR and political repercussions of their relationship! it would’ve been fascinating! instead we just get some sparse, vague, and conflicting moments.

“he knelt before her, getting a cocked eyebrow until he placed his hand on her belly - hesitantly, at first.” 😭😭🥺🥺 MY HEART

also, cracking up at elayne raising her eyebrow when rand starts to kneel, homegirl thought he was about to immediately start going down on her jkfjgh i mean hey rand DID say once that he wanted to kneel at elayne’s feet and worship her 👀 so i bet their all-day all-night sex marathon was crazy.

rand says that tam will be a grandfather 🥺 fucking introduce him to elayne then!

“he found that deep down, he’d hoped that someday he would be a father. it had happened. that gave him warmth. one thing was going right in the world, even if so many had gone wrong. children. his children. he closed his eyes, breathing in, enjoying the thought.” 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 MY HEART IS EXPLODING i take back what i said about Fratboy Rand (our new name for Zen Rand in case anybody missed that discussion in the replies on the last recap) being a deadbeat dad, he wants to be a dad he wants to know his babies!!!!

“he would never know them. he would leave them fatherless before they were even born.” NO STOP THAT [squirts him with a spraybottle]

“rand let himself go still as he felt her womb. was that motion? a kick?” okay google says that typically you can’t feel the baby move from the outside until end of second trimester or beginning of third trimester and there is NO WAY IN HELL that elayne is THAT pregnant right now! sanderson you’re killing me!! i can’t even cry over rand feeling the babies kick because i’m too distracted by the fucked up timeline of elayne’s pregnancy slash sanderson not bothering to look up timelines of pregnancy milestones jkfgj unless we are really supposed to believe that 6-7 months have passed since Randlayne Sex, but i do not buy that at all. WH was deep in winter and COT and KOD spanned very short time periods. i guess rand was in arad doman for a full month in TGS, and TOM also covered 1 month (it begins with rand telling egwene he’ll meet her at merrilor in 1 month). so at our most generous, by the end of WH 1 month has passed since Randlayne Sex (since rand WAS in far madding for some time, though i don’t actually think it was a whole month), COT-KOD is 1 month together, TGS is 1 month, and TOM is 1 month. elayne should not be more than 4 months pregnant, or 5 if we’re being EXTREMELY generous! definitely not 6 or 7!

elayne says she wants to name the boy rand. which would be weird if their dad rand was also part of her and their lives (i mean people name kids after their living and present parent irl often enough, but in books nobody does that) so i feel like she’s just already been long assuming that rand will either a) die in the last battle or b) be a deadbeat dad lmao

but rand asks her not to name either baby after him bc he wants them to live their own lives, awww. “my shadow will be long enough as it is” but they will still be stuck in it even if they aren’t literally named rand seeing as bashere made elayne tell everyone that they’re the dragon reborn’s kids!! sanderson you’re killing me again!

“he looked up to meet her eyes, and he found her smiling with fondness. she rested a smooth hand on his cheek. ‘you will be a fine father.’” 😭😭🥰🥰

god rand and elayne sitting down and talking about their babies and being soft and domestic!!!! unfollow me now this is gonna be the only thing i tweet about for the next week i’ve wanted this for years fuck what the fuck

“no talk of death, of duty.” “we cannot ignore what will happen.” “we needn’t dwell on it either. i taught you so much about being a monarch, rand. i seem to have forgotten one lesson. it is all right to plan for the worst possibilities, but you must not bask in them. you must not fixate on them.” and we have another Very Helpful Girlfriend Perspective that rand was deprived of until the final book when he was already mostly okay again! min clinging to hope and refusing to accept that rand might die + aviendha accepting it and assuaging him of guilt over her future pain because it’s her own choice to love him and endure that pain when it comes + elayne planning for it but not fixating on it and instead dwelling on present happiness = a perfectly balanced set of life outlooks that could’ve been immensely helpful to rand earlier in the series, but instead he got all of the first and none of the second or third.

elayne’s like “no more shoptalk i just want to have dinner with the man i love” and then they spend the entire meal talking about battle plans jfkgj they’re such workaholic nerds i love them!!!

rand is so full of praise for elayne’s battle strategy plans and tells her she has a head for it 🥰 but alas she deflects and says that it’s all the great generals’ doing, as well as bryne’s and her mother’s for teaching her. you ARE good at strategy elayne! on your own merits!

“the conversation reminded him of their time in tear, stealing hidden kisses in the stone between sessions of political training. rand had fallen in love with her during those days. real love. not the admiration of a boy falling off a wall, looking at a princess - back then, he hadn’t understood love any more than a farmboy swinging a sword understood war.” I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR!!!! THE NOSTALGIA!!!

“their love was born of the things they shared. with elayne, he could speak of politics and the burden of rule. she understood. she truly did, better than anyone he knew. she knew what it was to make decisions that changed the lives of thousands. she understood what it was to be owned by the people of a nation.” YES!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES YES YES THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE WHOLE SERIES!!!!!!! I’M SO USED TO GIVING AND NOW I GET TO RECEIVE!!!!!!!!!

god seriously elayne IS the one that knows him best. for so many books the narrative kept trying to insist that title fell to min, but it’s elayne, and here it acknowledges that! min and rand were always telling us that she knew him better than anyone, but we were never shown that. instead, we saw min constantly making incorrect assumptions about rand, misunderstanding him, not being aware of things that were going on with him, etc. whereas elayne, despite barely getting screentime WITH him, has throughout the series often thought or told others “rand would probably react to X in Y way” and been spot on every time, and has been able to correctly work out his motives after hearing second- or third- or fourthhand reports about an action he took. in salidar, when they agreed they shouldn’t tell rand about the viewing of 3 women loving him, elayne’s reasoning was, accurately, that it would make him try to push them away to protect them, whereas min’s reasoning was that if rand knew about the viewing he’d want to take advantage of having 3 hot women on tap. when rand went to caemlyn in WH, elayne clocked his saidin dizziness and the fact that he was avoiding channeling within SECONDS of seeing him again, whereas min, who’d been with him for weeks at that point, never noticed a thing.

i absolutely stand by the statement that the only reason elayne wasn’t narratively allowed to spend time with rand is because she would’ve been too helpful to him and interfered with his downward spiral arc.

and here again now, elayne immediately notices a small facial cue of rand’s and asks him about it, which prompts him to confide in her about how upset he is that so many people will die for him in the coming battles.

“rand found it remarkable that, though they had often been apart, their connection held. in fact, it felt even stronger. now that elayne was queen, now that they shared the children growing within her.” ❤️❤️ this line could’ve so easily felt like “author attempting to justify a relationship that’s disproportionately strong for the little screentime it got” but it doesn’t, because the individual characters have been developed so well, and the relationship in its little screentime, that i believe this 100%, it doesn’t feel forced at all or like the narrative’s trying to Tell me something it never Showed me. somehow randlayne manages to be the best canon romantic pairing despite having like 3.5 scenes together in 14 books. their power!!

“‘i feel as if i should be able to do more, now that i remember. he tried to break me, and he failed.’ ‘is that what happened that day atop dragonmount?’ he hadn’t spoken of it to anyone. he pulled his seat closer to hers.” and he proceeds to confide in her about the dragonmount epiphany! which he hasn’t spoken of to anyone else! not even min, who was demonstrably completely unaware of what had happened up there in the previous book (i forget the context but i remember commenting on how it revealed that rand hadn’t told her anything about the epiphany). because ELAYNE is the one that truly understands him best, the one he feels most comfortable confiding in about his deepest feelings and struggles!!!!

“‘and you remember lews therin now?’ she whispered. ‘everything he knew? that is not just an air you put on?’ ‘i am him. i always was. i remember it now.’ elayne breathed out, eyes widening. ‘what an advantage.’ of all the people he had told that to, only she had responded in such a way. what a wonderful woman.” LIKE!!!! 🥰🥰 when rand talked about LTT’s memories like they were his own, min thought about how she hates when he talks like that and how it makes her uncomfortable and how he seems mad, and when rand then told her outright about him being LTT etc she was weirded out at the thought that he’s Not Really The Same Person anymore. but elayne just goes “oh that rocks!” what a wonderful woman indeed!!!

“he never quite knew what she was going to say or do, and that excited him. like the excitement of watching nightflowers, knowing that what was to come would be beautiful, but never knowing the exact form that beauty would take.” ROMANCE!!! also, rand comparing elayne to fireworks, which are mat’s beloved - matrandlayne rights!!!!

rand knows that elayne has the Talent of creating ter’angreal! i’m not sure if he’s ever alluded to it before, so i’m glad to have confirmation that he knows. and he gives her a Seed which can be used to create an angreal. “when i found it, forgotten, i thought of you.” romance!!

and elayne gives rand the knife ter’angreal that hides the bearer from the shadow! finally that extremely handy knife that was ignored for several books comes back into play! let’s see if rand actually ends up using it.

“she reached up to touch his face. he placed his hand on hers. they stayed together long into the night.” ❤️❤️❤️ romance!! rand gets to Kneel And Worship long into the night, hell yeah!

overall thoughts: LOVED THIS SCENE it was finally the sort of randlayne scene that i’ve been waiting for ever since book 4! since the 1 other time they saw each other since then, the two of them pretty much didn’t have a meaningful individual interaction, it was all about the 3 women confessing their feelings to rand and then as soon as rand and elayne were left alone we cut right over to min to experience their first time through her pov, and by the time we went back to elayne pov rand had already left. but THIS scene was so wonderful, it was romantic, it was fluffy, it was serious, it was complicated, it was supportive. one scene, and it’s so clear how truly compatible they are, how easily and how deeply they GET each other. they understand each other so well yet also have different opinions about some things and aren’t afraid to disagree with each other, but when they DO disagree they resolve it through calm discussion rather than losing tempers or getting petty.

i take back everything i’ve said over the past 3 books about sanderson not getting randlayne because he totally nailed them in this scene. well maybe i don’t take back EVERYTHING because there were definitely some things in TGS, TOM, and the first 8 chapters of AMOL that i was Quite Annoyed about. i take back SOME things. but on the whole, one very happy customer over here! and i bet randlayne won’t have another dedicated scene for the rest of the series, so i’m glad that this one was so wonderful. i do kinda feel like sanderson’s just checking off boxes like “okay, rand and aviendha had their scene alone, don’t have to show them anymore, rand and elayne got their scene, that’s all done” lmao

egwene mentions that other sisters know she’s married to gawyn, which confirms what i’ve been suspecting for a while but forgot to comment on before, that the amyrlin seat not being allowed to have a romantic relationship is only a thing in the show verse and not the book verse. (it IS a thing in the show verse right? i’m not misremembering that that was one reason why moiraine and siuan had to sneak around, it wasn’t just that they have to keep secret that they’re in cahoots regarding TDR?) anyway, assuming i’m remembering correctly, this could have some exciting implications for the show version of gawene! think of the extra layer of sweet sweet angst that would cause in their TGS/TOM issues where gawyn wants a more all-encompassing relationship than egwene is able to give him (all-encompassing as in he wants to be her boyfriend all the time everywhere, not just in certain contexts).

i have JUST ABOUT HAD IT with birgitte and her condescending babysitter’s attitude towards elayne. i think it’s come to the point where i genuinely dislike her now, which is so sad because i used to absolutely adore her and her relationship with elayne.

good news: elayne and tam had an interaction! bad news: it was only battlefield commands and they showed no sign of knowing each other on a personal level

“she’d heard rand brag about his bow, and she’d seen a two rivers longbow used on occasion” oh i’ll bet she did. last night, for instance.

now that i think about it it’s hilarious that mat was The Archer of the group in eotw and then never again. at the time of reading eotw i was like “i can’t believe the show gave rand mat’s bow skills in addition to sword and channeling skills and made mat just a useless twink” but now i see why they did that because the books also took away mat’s bow skills after eotw. mat can be a useless twink for a while until he gets his knives and ashandarei, as a treat.

speaking of the useless twink, here he is fucking about in ebou dar when LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE is in the middle of fighting the last battle!!

“rand should have just hidden [in the rahad], instead of going up to fight the last battle. the trollocs and darkfriends would have come for him, and the rahad would have left them all unconscious in an alley” so mat is worried about rand??? i have to find my cauthor crumbs wherever i can since mat has denied me real moments by going to fuck about in ebou dar!

things that happened to mat in ebou dar: getting raped repeatedly and turned into a sex slave, getting attacked by a gholam, having a wall fall on him and nearly kill him, being subjugated by invaders, being trapped in the city by his abuser for weeks, watching hundreds die because he tried to free them and feeling responsible for it

mat’s constant emotional state in ebou dar: anxious, nauseous, scared, depressed, self-hating, trapped

mat now on ebou dar: “he was surprised at how familiar, even comfortable, this city felt. he had liked it here.” “he now realized that his time in ebou dar had been among the best of his life.” “strangely, this place felt more like home to him than the two rivers did.”

like. WHAT???? i mean. WHAT??????? and i scream at the top of my lungs, what’s going on!!!!!

i know that “footage not found” is my favorite thing to say about the second half of the series, but holy shit this has got to be the worst instance of it yet!!!!! i don’t even have any rants to make, i’m simply speechless.

he also reflects on tylin as “a fun game” and hopes to have plenty of other women like that, but then notes that tuon is like that and he won’t need any others since she’s enough of a handful. this poor man has been gaslit so badly into thinking an abusive partner is desirable! i’m not even mad at mat anymore, i just feel sorry for him and the miserable life he’s been forced into and convinced himself he loves.

someone thinks mat is an assassin after tuon. man i wish!!! that would’ve been so sexy

once again mat frets about assassins being after tuon and wants to find out info to stop them. dammit mat!! this is the opposite of a problem!!

“‘sheepherder,’ lan said. rand raised an eyebrow. lan saluted him, arm cross his chest, bowing his head.” 😭😭

RAND HAS FOUND FAT LITTLE MAN ANGREAL MY BELOVED!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 i literally punched the air in delight when i read this!

look at this! i’m going back to reassure my past self that it will be okay and rand will find our emotional support fat little man angreal again! rand notes that no one knows he has it and that this is important. what if fat little man angreal my beloved ends up being the key to defeating the dark one!!

walmart: choedan kal gucci: fat little man angreal

rand destroying the choedan kal and now finding fat little man angreal again symbolizes him turning his back on power for power’s sake and returning to his good boy roots. now if only he would give up tai’daishar and get back his good boy horse, jeade’en. except jeade’en might have been eaten by trollocs since he might have still been in caemlyn when they attacked and elayne said the trollocs ate all the palace horses!!!!

“i will beat you, taim! i will finally do what i should have months ago!” no SHIT you should’ve done it months ago, rand. also i mistyped taim as tim at first jkfjgh somehow “i will beat you, tim!” doesn’t have the same gravitas.

rand goes to his dreamshard, which looks like a peaceful valley, and he’s wearing simple two rivers clothing. “he placed sturdy boots on his feet, like those he’d worn growing up. they fit him in a way that no new boot, no matter how well made, ever could. he wasn’t allowed old boots any longer. if his boots showed a hint of wear, one servant or another made them vanish.” 😭😭 baby boy!! rand and mat should meet up to discuss Boots As Metaphor For Class And The Burdens Of Leadership.

rand sees lanfear and we get some nice little tidbits of LTT Backstory. he says that lanfear just wanted him as an accessory, but also he has memories of walking into parties with her on his arm and having sex with her yet he never truly loved her. Fratboy LTT! lmao

i’m wondering if lanfear is going to ever Do anything by the end of the book. if not, then a) what was the point of not killing her off for good in TFOH and b) it will make so much sense if they give her mesaana’s plot in the show, since mesaana does nothing in the first half of the series and lanfear does nothing in the second half.

egwene and the aes sedai going apeshit on trollocs was pretty cool, but overall i’m getting tired and bored of all the battle scenes. and i’m only a third into an entire book about The Last Battle lmao

elayne mentions that rand occasionally visits her in her camp in the braem wood! fuck yeah!! and a little later she mentions rand’s failure against the dreadlords! they are visiting each other and telling each other about the things that happened to them while they were apart!

“‘these tactics aren’t bad,’ tam said, reading the orders. ‘the queen has a good head for warfare.’” father-in-law stamp of approval!!! ❤️

but perrin replies “she listens well to those who know their tactics and she doesn’t interfere.” jesus christ i KNOW perrin did NOT just say that elayne, the high commander of the forces of the light, works best when she’s shutting up and sitting quietly while men do all the work. fuck you to hell and back, perrin! and alas, tam goes on to say that that’s what he meant. i agree with the overall point that a good leader is one who knows how to listen to and take advice from others, but it being centered around undermining a young woman’s competence in favor of older men’s is very yikes. i feel like elayne’s military strategy skills are being unfairly retconned away in this book, because in previous books she’s been shown to be pretty good at military strategy because bryne taught her a lot about it. or actually, in this book elayne is showing good strategy skills but other characters tell us that it’s mostly the great generals doing the work and elayne herself minimizes her own contributions when rand compliments her. sigh.

“someone needs to watch rand’s back, and it...well, it’s going to be me. i know it, somehow.” i hate this sudden narrative that perrin is rand’s best boy when for 13 books it was mat! why the fuck isn’t mat here right now? why the fuck am i not getting my 3 boy besties teaming up together at the last battle AS I WAS NARRATIVELY PROMISED SINCE BOOK FUCKING ONE????

i was saying this before on a specific post i made complaining about mat going to ebou dar, but it would’ve made soooo much more sense if mat went to merrilor with moiraine and we got our full ef5 reunion and a nice scene of the 3 boys chilling together and catching up for the first time since TSR, and then rand finds out mat’s married to the seanchan empress and the two of them go to ebou dar together to rope her into the alliance, or maybe mat goes alone first to meet up with tuon and then rand arrives later so it doesn’t look like they plotted together to ambush her. like, if mat needed to be in ebou dar to a) spend more time with tuon and b) be present to mediate the rand-tuon alliance, then sanderson could’ve just sent him there on rand’s behalf after they’ve had a chance to reunite and plan together. same goals accomplished without breaking mat’s characterization by having him voluntarily go back to the location where he was the most miserable in the entire series and claim that he always loved it there and had such great times.

perrin makes tam a lord because i guess the two rivers is now so far up nobility’s asses that they won’t accept tam taking over perrin’s authority unless he’s a lord. “steward over the two rivers in the name of his son, the dragon reborn” that’s cute though ❤️

gaul is another minor male character like talmanes that i feel the fandom is disproportionately obsessed with. people are ready to grab pitchforks at the prospect of him being cut from the show! gaul is a nice dude and i like him, but it would not affect my life in any way if he didn’t make it into the show lmao but i AM glad he’s going with perrin to the wolf dream, it’s nice to see perrin have a friend who isn’t his wife or a subordinate. and i WOULD really enjoy seeing gaul/chiad/bain adapted in the show in a way that explicitly acknowledges this is a bi love triangle rather than trying to frame it as chiad’s male love interest and ~very close female friend~ fighting over her. i absolutely love the concept of first-sisters, but only when it doesn’t feel like a blatant No Homo on rj’s part, as it does with elayne-avi and bain-chiad. amys and lian, on the other hand, i would be equally happy to see kept as platonic sister-wives as i would be to see them made each other’s wives.

perrin mentions that aviendha is with rand when he goes to find him! and he does not say that min is there 😌 although i can’t imagine where else she’d be if not barnacled to rand’s side, so maybe she is there and perrin just didn’t think it was important enough to mention.

“i only need [rand] for a moment.” “you have this moment and many, perrin. i owe you dearly.” perrin has really not done ALL that much for you, rand. his one real job was to deal with masema, which he waffled over for like 5 books before faile finally took care of it! once again i’m totally seeing that perrin is sanderson’s favorite.

rand tells perrin to watch out for mat, concerned husband!

“‘may the light shelter you, perrin aybara.’ ‘and you, rand al’thor.’ perrin hesitated, and realized what was happening. they were saying goodbye. he took rand in an embrace.” 🥺🥺🥺 okay since sanderson took over we’ve gotten a mat-perrin hug and now a rand-perrin hug, he better come through with a mat-rand hug!

perrin says that defeating slayer will be key to dealing with the black tower situation, and it turns out that slayer’s anti-gateway dome is covering the black tower. ooh taim should’ve been slayer if he wasn’t demandred! that would’ve been neat and would’ve given slayer some much-needed narrative relevance. i like that solution much better than taimandred actually, since taim and slayer are both unsexy and can therefore be merged whereas demandred is too sexy to deserve being taim.

interesting dynamic of lanfear helping perrin in TAR! i feel like she’s hovered just on the edge of being a compelling villain throughout the series, so i’m hoping the show can pull back the curtain on her some more and shed more light on her characterization and motivations. AOL flashbacks to her relationship with LTT and decision to join the shadow would be excellent!

“my suffering goes beyond what you could conceive” babygirl i’ve undergone suffering you wouldn’t even believe

perrin going “it’s so unfair that channelers can be turned to the shadow against their will!” coming in with a solid No Shit Sherlock moment jkfg he’s like “does rand know that this is possible?” boy rand has known about this since book TWO get with the program!

mat is breaking into the tarasin palace to see tuon. imagine how romantic it would be if he was breaking into the caemlyn palace to see elayne! we were robbed.

in good news, this chapter does acknowledge that mat’s time in ebou dar was Not So Great Actually and does a decent job presenting the argument that mat is lying to himself when he says that he misses it and that he liked being with tylin. there are a few lines that do this, but most notably: “he had lived in this palace, free to come and go. for the most part. he scratched at his neck, and the scarf he wore there. for a moment it felt like a ribbon that felt like a chain.” this is a really good line and i am very happy to see it, but also so very sad because it really hits home how depressing mat’s endgame fate is. more than any other character, all he ever wanted was to be free, and he ends up with a stronger chain around his neck than any other character has in the end. i just don’t see how anybody could interpret mat’s arc as anything but a tragedy. and i do think that under sanderson’s pen the narrative does commit to it being a tragedy (there are some really heartbreaking lines in this chapter showing so clearly that mat is desperate to be loved but tuon only sees him as a tool) if not fully, at least moreso than it did under rj’s, where he treated their whole courtship in COT and KOD like a fun little romcom. and i think sanderson has also committed more fully to tuon being a villain rather than rj going “yes she enslaves people but all her slaves love her uwu” but on the other hand, sanderson!tuon shows more affection for mat (as in, 0.01 ounce of affection rather than 0 ounces) than rj!tuon did, so i don’t know.

“if tuon wanted to live in a city where the head of her armies was trying to have her assassinated, that was her choice.” i agree! leave her to her fate! this whole passage, props to sanderson for nailing the classic “mat complains about how that idiot other character is asking for trouble and he’s not gonna save their ass, while actively going out of his way to save their ass despite them not asking for his help” but also it was usually rand and elayne who got that attitude from mat and tuon does not deserve it jfkg

“if rand was up north, where all the trollocs were, then mat wanted to be as far from the man as possible. he felt bad for rand, but any sane person would see that mat’s choice was the only one. the swirl of colors started to form, but mat suppressed it. [paragraph break so that these following 2 sentences stand alone in their own paragraph, which i think is important] rational. he would be very rational.” i was about to blow my lid and say that this is wildly ooc for mat and is TDR mat behavior and erases all the growth he had in terms of coming to accept rand and his own responsibilities thereto. and i still say those things, but i am not blowing my lid because the end of the excerpt and especially the “rational. he would be very rational.” does a pretty good job of conveying that mat IS lying to himself about not wanting to go help rand with the last battle and that he secretly feels guilty for not being there. or maybe i’m just so desperate to believe that mat’s character hasn’t been entirely butchered that i’m grasping at straws jkdjfg but in TGS and TOM mat WAS totally prepared to bring the dragons and the band to help rand at the last battle and also told the aes sedai to tell egwene to make sure the horn of valere was ready for him, so i can’t say that this about-face is entirely sanderson’s fault since he did show in the prior 2 books that he understood that mat was ready and willing to help at the last battle. i wouldn’t be surprised if mat fucking off to ebou dar instead of going to merrilor was in rj’s notes and sanderson had no choice but to go with it.

selucia: “if [being called Highness] bothers you, cauthon, you have a very irritating life ahead of you. there is only one way to stop being the prince of the ravens, and that is to find your neck in a cord.” another very good line. it’s played for laughs on the surface, but it also shows a narrative awareness that this fate IS really terrible for mat. and the entire chapter, which revolves around mat and tuon’s reunion which you might think the narrative would want to frame as romantic (and in some places it does), is titled “your neck in a cord” so i think that that choice of title for this chapter definitely undercuts the ~romantic moments~ and shows awareness of The Tragedy Of Mat.

we move to rand who is just returning from another visit to elayne! ❤️❤️ i’m glad sanderson is at least making it clear that they’re in regular contact and spending time together even if he doesn’t bother to show any meeting but the first. haha in the previous 2 books i was certain that he loved rand/min the most and didn’t give a shit about rand/avi or rand/elayne, but in this book, once the initial weirdness of them avoiding each other was moved past, rand/elayne has been getting the best treatment and being depicted as the most important of rand’s relationships. we’re 300 pages in and min has still barely been mentioned at all! love it.

we also learn that their visits are no longer secretive: rand is walking openly through the camp and tells us, “elayne had made her armies aware of his earlier visit. i lead these armies, she had said as they parted last time, but you are their heart. you gathered them, rand. they fight for you. please let them see you when you come.” god the power couple-ness of it all!!!! if only mat was here, just imagine the power throuple-ness of the dragon reborn, the high commander of the armies of the light, and the greatest general of the age.

rand visits tam!! this whole scene is so wonderful!! too many wonderful moments and lines to call out all of them.

rand gives tam a new sword to replace the heron-marked blade (sob. i want the heron-marked blade and jeade’en to join fat little man angreal in coming back to rand at the end of it all!) and i think this must be the mysterious sword that he acquired before TGS and was cryptic about. he’s still so cryptic about it here! “it belonged...to a kindred soul.” what’s the point of stringing me along like this sanderson just tell me where the stupid sword came from! my only theory is maybe it was LTT’s sword since later in rand’s narration is “he’d never had a chance to fight with it” and that line is in its own paragraph which feels significant. but wait no then it turns out that rand hasn’t fought with a sword since losing his hand, so that’s probably actually what that line meant. who did this fucking sword belong to and why is it worth dragging out like this!!

“this is too fine a gift, son.” “nothing is too fine for you. nothing.”❤️❤️ “think of it as a thank-you, from all the world to you.” ❤️❤️

argh rand once again calls tam by his first name to his face! but then 2 pages later he calls him “father.” sanderson what are you doing!! this is such a tiny point but it makes me so mad djkfjg definitely one of my Unimportant Wheel Of Time Hills I Have Chosen To Die On (we all have some)

“to think. if you hadn’t wanted me to be a good archer [by teaching him the flame and the void], i’d have never have learned the thing that kept me sane through the rough times.” 😭❤️

“people’s eyes tended to slide off [his missing hand], as if they were seeing a gray man. they didn’t like the idea that their dragon reborn was flawed. he never let them know how tired he felt, inside.” 😭😭

and rand and tam swordfight for a while which is some nice father-son bonding and also rand fiiiiinally reacting to and working through the loss of his hand! what a good scene! i have for the moment taken Fratboy Rand’s title away from him because he has been a good boy so far in this chapter chunk lmao

rand mentions a gray man metaphor above and then there’s a real gray man in mat’s next section, and rand had also used a moss metaphor and then mat notes the moss in the garden with the same “moss still lived” line. parallels!

“mat was pretty sure rand was to blame [for plants dying]. rand or the dark one. mat could trace every bloody problem in his life to one or the other. those flaming colors...” mat why don’t you give rand a kiss on the lips and maybe you’ll calm down

“he had married her...she had married him back” why did that make me laugh so much

i’m so mad because this description of tuon practicing wrestling or whatever fistfighting she’s doing would be so sexy if i didn’t hate her so much jfkjg show come through and make her evil in a sexy way instead of a gross way and then make her redeem herself in a sexy way! and the moment of mat throwing the knife at her but actually the gray man behind her and she instinctively turns to look behind her instead of assuming mat is trying to kill her could also have been so godtier in a proper, well done enemies-to-lovers arranged-marriage-to-real-love dynamic. but instead it’s probably just tuon knowing mat’s wrapped far too tightly around her finger like a good little slave to even think of killing her :(

min and min/rand i never would have found that compelling even if the ship had been done to the best of its potential because the ground layer of that character and ship are simply not that interesting to me, but tuon and mat/tuon............................[gazes off into the distance thinking of all we could’ve had]

i think that because it’s been so long since i last saw mat and tuon onscreen together (like, super long since i’ve been so slow about reading these last few books) i WAS able to read this first moment almost in a vacuum and appreciate the good stuff for a page until tuon opened her mouth lmao

“you must not stay away. you are important to the empire, and i have use for you.” “sounds delightful.” / “did you save her? the one you went to rescue?” “how did you know about that?” “i have decided not to be jealous. you are fortunate. the missing eye suits you. before, you were too pretty.” / “good to see you, by the way. usually, when a fellow says something like that, it’s customary to tell them that you’re happy to see them as well.” “i am the empress now. i do not wait upon others, and do not find it ‘good’ that someone has returned. their return is expected, as they serve me.” “you know how to make a fellow feel loved.” it is so clear how absolutely MISERABLE mat is going to be in this marriage. despite his protests about not wanting to get married, he does want love, he wants to be loved and appreciated as a person, but tuon only sees him as a tool and thinks of him in terms of how he can be useful to her, and yet mat desperately laps up whatever tiny little scraps of would-be affection she throws his way (like later when she says it’s good to see him and he’s like yay i’ll take that for now!). The Tragedy Of Mat!!!

“when you saw me with a dagger in hand - as if to throw at you - you didn’t call for your guards. you didn’t fear i was here to kill you. you looked over your shoulder to see what i was aiming at. that’s the most loving gesture i think a man could receive from a woman.” like this is GOOD??? i LIKED this! if only tuon wasn’t Like That then i could enjoy this moment properly! even so, this line + the actual knife throwing scene a page earlier is my favorite mat/tuon moment of the series. which is like saying “my favorite war crime in history” but yknow.

“she did not reply. light, but she seemed cold. was it all going to be different, now that she was the empress? he could not have lost her already, could he?” mat i do not know WHAT delusions you were previously operating under that you ever thought she wasn’t cold or that you “had” her lmao! she is behaving exactly the same as she always has been!

tuon now rewards his good behavior with sex just like how she rewarded his good behavior with a kiss in KOD (i think it was that book). i 100000% subscribe to @butterflydm​’s theory that tuon is using slave breaking methods on mat (rewarding good behavior with treats, refusing to acknowledge his original name and instead forcing a new one on him until he begins responding to it - all things we’ve seen sul’dam do to damane). actually that’s not even a theory, it’s just a fact that that’s what she’s doing.

“i would not have said the words i did if i had found in you only a toy. a man missing an eye is no toy anyway. you have known battle; everyone who sees you now will know that. they will not mistake you for a fool, and i have no use for a toy. i shall have a prince instead.” a tiny bit of progression since she no longer views him as a toy or a fool, but she’s still seeing him as an object. only considering how he can be useful to her and how having him on her arm will affect public perception of her. she wants a nice Real Warrior to parade around and show off to everyone.

tuon when she brings a wild dangerous lion into her home and then he someday destroys it from the inside: surprised pikachu

i wish we could’ve gotten that spinoff of mat taking down the seanchan empire (if that’s what outriggers would’ve been about, which for my own sanity i must assume it would’ve been). then The Tragedy Of Mat would be a good launching point for that story, rather than an unsatisfying endgame.

“loial, son of arent, son of halan, had secretly always wanted to be hasty.” gasp! scandalous!

“it is nearly time for me to go.” “to battle?” “no, to mat. he is in ebou dar.” rand misses his man!!!

we finally learn the last thing about callandor, and it’s that it’s a sa’angreal for the true power as well as the one power! rand just suddenly knows this and doesn’t explain how - LTT memory maybe? - so i guess min’s 5 books of callandor research were completely useless lmao excellent, looks like we can officially begin and end the list of min’s plot contributions with “helping siuan escape the tower”

moiraine makes a vague allusion to mat having ancient memories that flies over rand’s head. it KILLS me that they never had a talk about their shared experience of having ancient memories!! also, wasn’t rand kind of aware that mat had ancient memories back in TFOH? or no i guess he only knew that he’d suddenly gained lots of battle strategy knowledge, but he didn’t know where it came from.

“why go to ebou dar?” because his husband is there, moiraine! he already said that!

rand is really STILL out there saying he’s gonna KILL the LITERAL DARK ONE. [1x01 moiraine intro monologue voice] the arrogance

“‘well,’ she said. ‘i am still in need of a cup of tea.’ rand looked at her, incredulous. then he laughed and walked away to bring her some.” 🥺

some dumbass tries to tell lan to talk tenobia and the other saldaean women out of joining the battle and lan claps back with: “i’ve seen saldaean woman spar. if i were to place a bet on a contest between one of them and a man from any army in the south, i’d bet on the saldaean any day...this war is everything or nothing. if i could round up each woman in the borderlands and put a sword in her hands, i would. for now, i’ll settle for not doing something stupid - like forbidding some trained and passionate soldiers from fighting.” FEMINIST KING LAN MANDRAGORAN 👑👑👑👑👑 so much love to him for being The First man in all of wheel of time to not be Weird about women going into battle!!! oh this was so satisfying.

poor mat wakes up naked in the garden with soldiers all around and tuon acts like this is normal and he’s stupid for being embarrassed. the rest of his life is going to be SO MISERABLE for him.

and finally, drumroll please.......................CAUTHOR REUNION!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay now that that’s out of the way, it was actually kind of a letdown i’m not gonna lie lmao but let’s get into it!

“rand looked older, more weathered, than the last time mat had seen him in person. of course, he had seen the man recently in those blasted visions. although mat had trained himself to stop thinking of rand to avoid those colors, he still slipped on occasion.” mat HAD TO TRAIN HIMSELF to STOP THINKING ABOUT RAND oh my god mat. and still slips on occasion! on occasion? mat, you are thinking about rand and getting pressed about the visions like once a chapter! perrin sure didn’t have to train himself to stop thinking about rand, i’ll tell you that.

“anyway, seeing rand in person was different.” seeing rand in person is DIFFERENT, you guys. mat is shook!

“it had been...light, how long had it been? the last time i saw him with my own eyes was when he sent me to salidar after elayne. that felt like an eternity ago. it had been before he had come to ebou dar, before he had seen the gholam for the first time. before tylin, before tuon.” 😭😭😭 especially with that last sentence, this reads so much like mat seeing his gay lover for the first time after tylin and tuon forced him through a conversion therapy arc to make him a proper heterosexual husband. i’m hurting!!! that interpretation of mat’s arc changed me as a person.

“rand did not seem the least bit worried; his face was calm. he wore a nice coat of red and black, a white shirt underneath, black trousers.” “rand watched the man go, nonchalant though he was bound. you know, mat thought idly, he kind of does look like a king.” mat really wants us to know how hot and fuckable Daddy Rand is right now, thank you mat.

tuon thinks that mat was just playing her last night and was actually luring rand to her. man i wish! but rand jumps in to tell her not to blame mat, protective husband <3

mat gets bound by the power. his gut assumption is that it’s rand doing it - heartbreaking - but it turns out it’s a damane, and tuon stole the medallion off him while he slept - heartbreaking. remember when rand refused to help moiraine get the medallion from mat? remember when elayne turned down the medallion when mat offered it to her in a dangerous situation because she wanted him to keep it and be safe? and meanwhile tuon steals it from him while he’s sleeping to protect herself. mat deserves better 2k22

“‘thanks a bundle for this,’ mat muttered to rand. ‘you’re such a bloody good friend.’ ‘it’s good to see you too,’ rand said, a hint of a smile on his lips. ‘here we go,’ mat said with a sigh. ‘you’ve pulled me into trouble again. you always do this.’” THEY ARE SO MARRIED this takes me back specifically to rhuidean when mat was like “well i won’t wait for you! so there! you better not think i will!” and rand was like, smiling, “of course i wouldn’t think that of you mat.” Poor Mat, His Husband Gets Him Into So Much Trouble! and fond husband rand just going “ah classic mat, i love this fool”

(also, might i add that “it’s good to see you” was tuon’s alleged big romantic line to mat just 2 chapters ago? 👀👀)

“‘you think you could stay away from me?’ rand asked, smiling.” rand knows mat is whipped for him god bless

amidst all his complaints mat slips in right away “what did you do to your hand, by the way?” concerned husband 🥺 “lost it capturing one of the forsaken.” “capturing? you’re growing soft.” proud husband who knows rand could kick any forsaken’s ass any day of the week! also good for him for unknowingly roasting rand for refusing to kill semirhage Because She’s A Woman lmao

“he glanced to the side. ‘you look nice, by the way. you’ve been taking better care of yourself lately.’ ‘so you do care,’ rand said. ‘of course i do,’ mat grumbled.” 😭😭😭 MARRIED!!!! also, mat, if i was going to tell my friend that they looked healthy and in a good state i would say that they looked “well” or they looked “good” i would not say that they looked NICE, MAT that’s gay. in what world is “you look nice” a comment on anything but somebody’s physical appearance in terms of attractiveness rather than in terms of health, mat. if i told somebody they looked nice they would immediately assume i was complimenting their attractiveness or their outfit or something, mat.

“‘i mean, you have to keep yourself alive, right? go have your little duel with the dark one and keep us all safe? it’s good to know you’re looking up to it.’ ‘that’s nice to hear,’ rand said, smiling.” mat is IN LOVE with rand and rand knows it and that’s why he spends this entire conversation smiling like a fool. mat’s like “you look nice. um i mean healthy and stuff! and i only care because you have to stay alive to fight the dark one to save everybody!” and rand’s just smiling because mat called him hot, no takebacks <3

and unfortunately that’s about the last of it as the rest of the scene is all about tuon being The Worst

mat immediately upon hearing tuon declare that she’s going to take his best friend captive and bring him back to seanchan: “mat smiled. light, but she made a good empress.” ?????????? WHAT THE HELL MAT also he always does this about not only the shittiest things she does but also the stupidest. like she’ll make some completely empty ego-based threat and he’s like “wow she’s such a good empress!” have any of her wild claims and threats ever ACTUALLY happened, mat? no they have not.

however, he does immediately follow this up with “there was no need to filch my medallion, though, he thought. they were going to have words about that. assuming he survived this. she would not really execute him would she?” tuon taking away mat’s possessions - and a possession that is extremely meaningful to him and makes him feel safe - is another one for the list of abusive partner markers that she displays. all together, this paragraph reads so much like somebody who is subconsciously aware that he’s in an abusive relationship but doesn’t quite know how to verbalize it to himself :(

“you know, mat thought, he does a fair job of sounding like a king too.” okay mat being into Empress Tuon can retroactively have half a right only because it implies that a bi panic is going on when paired with this line about rand jfkgj

rand flexes on tuon so hard and it’s SO sexy. “rand stepped forward. ‘i held the loyalty and fealty of all seventeen generals of dawn’s gate. fortuona athaem devi paendrag, my authority supersedes your own! ‘artur hawkwing-’ ‘my authority supersedes that of hawkwing! if you claim rule by the name of he who conquered, then you must bow before my prior claim. i conquered before hawkwing, though i needed no sword to do so. you are here on my land, empress, at my sufferance!’ thunder broke in the distance. mat found himself shaking.” yeah i’ll bet that mat Ruler Kink cauthon is shaking after that 🥵🥵

“i allowed you to live when i could have destroyed you in an instant” rand can you please just destroy her in an instant, christ!

mat persuades tuon that rand is trustworthy: “he’s a good fellow. he’s rough at the corners sometimes, but you can trust his word. if he’s offering you a treaty, he’ll make good on it.” “i grew up with rand. i vouch for him.”

and finally, perhaps the most romantic love declaration in all of WOT, “you can trust rand al’thor with the world itself.” ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

the cinematic parallels to rand defending mat to tuon back in TGS and saying he’s a good man and a loyal friend!!!!

“you called them my forces. they are our forces. you are one of us now, matrim.” “well, i guess i am at that.” stop harshing my vibe!! leave me alone i just wanna sit here and enjoy my cauthor!

speaking of harshing my vibe, UGH the deal ends up being that tuon can keep all the damane she’s already collared!!!! rand at least makes a halfhearted attempt to make her release all the ones she’s taken from the westlands before folding like a damn chair as soon as she goes “no :)” and mat just stands there and doesn’t even try. this is so fucking frustrating and it’s SO unnecessary!!!!! narratively, WHY did this need to happen? why couldn’t rand have gotten her to agree to release all the damane she’s taken from the westlands? even that is still far below what SHOULD be the endgame here - the total collapse of the seanchan empire wherein every slave in the whole empire is freed and all the lands they took in the westlands are released - so why couldn’t we have had tuon be forced to make ONE fucking concession? she almost got pulled by ta’veren sway and agreed to rand’s terms in TGS, she should be extra susceptible now that there’s two ta’veren! i’m so mad!!!! chewing rocks, as they say!!!!!

and like, you would think that the ENTIRE PURPOSE of mat’s marriage to tuon should be to help with this alliance, but he basically does NOTHING in this scene! sure he convinces tuon to trust rand, but that’s it. during the actual negotiations, he doesn’t say a peep, just sits there chewing his nails because The Girls Are Fightingggg and makes no effort to help rand get tuon to free the damane. we could’ve axed mat and tuon’s marriage entirely and it would not have been difficult to get to this same endgame result.

“‘by the way, i saved moiraine. chew on that as you try to decide which of the two of us is winning.’ mat followed tuon, and behind him rose the laughter of the dragon reborn.” a nice little note to end our cauthor scene on since i think i’ve heard it’s the last one in the whole series 😭 but also a depressing note because mat follows tuon and turns his back on rand! the metaphor of it all! The Tragedy Of Mat!

AND I DIDN’T EVEN GET MY CAUTHOR HUG GODDAMMIT!!!!!!

“‘you are right [that i need sleep], of course. and you needn’t feel surprised to hear me admit it.’ ‘i wasn’t surprised.’ ‘i can feel your emotions, gawyn.’ ‘that was from something else entirely. i remembered something sleete said a few days back, a joke i didn’t understand until now.’ he looked at her innocently. that, finally, earned a smile. a hint of one, but that was enough.” I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

“asha’man fighting for the enemy. why wouldn’t the dragon reborn have done something?” god i know right jkfjgh

“outside, egwene sighed, closing her eyes. he put his arm around her and let her slump against him. the moment lasted but a few seconds before she pulled back, standing up straight and putting on the face of the amyrlin. so young, he thought, to have so much required of her.” 😭😭😭

“of course, she wasn’t much younger than al’thor himself. gawyn was pleased, and a little surprised, that thinking of the man did not provoke any anger. al’thor would fight his fight. really, what the man did was none of gawyn’s business.” look at gawyn so happy over the progress he’s made in working through the one-sided breakup with his toxic ex who never even knew they were in a relationship djfkjg good for him!

“i begin to think she assumes all seanchan to be darkfriends.” “you beat her and imprisoned her, making her into an animal to be led by a collar.” king gawyn once again being the only man in the series to take damane enslavement and its traumas seriously! 👑👑

gawyn feels wasted on the battlefield since he spends 95% of his time just standing there and not doing anything and acts shifty about the bloodrings and conceals from egwene the fact that he has them. oh no baby boy i sense your As Yet Unknown Crime approaching and i am afraid! but given how staunch i have become in loving gawyn - my original genuine love only being fueled higher by spite since everyone else hates him - his crime will have to be truly incredibly unbelievably heinous to make me dislike him hahaha even if it is i am fully prepared to dismiss it as ooc behavior and not his fault!

exhibit a: “you decided to stand in egwene’s shadow, gawyn, he thought. you decided you would protect her, do what she needed of you. she was winning this war, she and the aes sedai. would he let himself grow as jealous of her as he had been of al’thor?” on the one hand, still mad about gawyn’s sudden issues about being in people’s shadows that never existed prior to TOM being turned into the foundation of his character, and extra mad that all the character development he went through in the last book to overcome those issues - character development that was already unnecessary since those issues were invented purely for that one book - are now doubly unnecessary since he’s just regressed back again. on the other hand, thrilled by him paralleling his feelings for egwene with his feelings for rand, as if rand too was a lover whom gawyn grew jealous of over time djfkgjh

min shows up and says things for the first time (page 353) blech, but at least it’s brief. “light, what would he have done without her? i’d have fallen, he thought. during the dark months...i’d have fallen for certain.” FOOTAGE!!!! NOT!!!!! FOUND!!!!!!!!! you know what actually would’ve happened without min during the dark months, rand? a) you would never have been kidnapped and put in the box, b) you would never have lost your hand, c) you would never have been broken by having to torture and almost kill someone you loved, d) you wouldn’t have had to endure cadsuane’s bullying, e) you wouldn’t have had constant viewings worsening your paranoia and mistrust of others, f) you wouldn’t have had your personal secrets and traumas spilled to people you do not trust, g) you wouldn’t have had an allegedly supportive girlfriend frequently hitting you, threatening you, and working with others behind your back to “handle” you like you were a disobedient child. ETC!!

i say this all the goddamn time but i have to say again HOW FRUSTRATING it is that rand and min bludgeon us over the head with how min was The Only Light In The Darkness and The Only One Who Truly Knew Him and The Only One Who Helped Him Hold On, when there is literally no actual behavior or actions or events in the text to support these claims and in fact min’s presence actively made things worse for rand much of the time. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cadsuane fondly tells min that she’s been reading too much after min recites some stupid low-hanging fruit philosophy (if rand says he’s a fool, then that means he is a fool, but if he says he’s not a fool, that still means he’s a fool since it implies he doesn’t seek further wisdom) and then a page later says about elayne “then she has spoken wisdom at least once in her life. a better average than i had assumed of that one.” fuck you to hell and back along with perrin, cadsuane! elayne is far and away one of the most intelligent characters in the series and i am tired of the other characters undermining her intelligence.

but regarding that line, “rand refused to rise to that comment” and notes that cadsuane is testing him, so at least a) rand is angry to hear her speak badly of elayne and b) cadsuane is mostly just talking shit to annoy him

so far rand has gotten nice goodbye moments with elayne, aviendha, perrin, tam, lan, moiraine, cadsuane, and in a couple chapters egwene. the fact that FUCKING CADSUANE got a proper goodbye moment with rand and MAT did not!!!!!! i’m raging!!!!!!!

lan to mandarb: “we’ll rest soon, my friend. i promise. we’ll make a home. the shadow defeated, nynaeve and i will reclaim malkier. we’ll make the fields bloom again, cleanse the lakes. green pastures. no more trollocs to fight. children to ride on your back, old friend. you can spend your days in peace, eating apples and having your pick of mares.” 😭😭😭😭

“rand al’thor had begun to crack that shell, and then nynaeve’s love had ripped it apart completely. i wonder if rand ever knew, lan thought.” 😭😭😭😭

it’s just so weird that all rand’s relationships are getting such nice tributes paid to them but his relationship with mat, which was his KEY RELATIONSHIP for the first 5 books of the series, is completely brushed off. like i enjoyed their little reunion banter, but it was not nearly sufficient to be the sendoff of one of the series’ most important relationships.

speaking of sendoffs, egwene gets one with the wise ones 😭 “‘i am proud of you, girl,’ amys said. amys, tough-as-nails amys, looked teary-eyed. they rose, and egwene embraced them one a a time. ‘light shelter you, amys, melaine, bair,’ egwene said. ‘give my love to the others.’ ‘it will be done, egwene al’vere,’ bair said. ‘may you find water and shade, now and always.’” 😭😭😭

and egwene also decides not to return to TAR for the moment since it’s increasingly dangerous. “‘and farewell to you, old friend,’ she said to the air. ‘until i dream again.’ she let herself wake.” 😭😭😭

knowing what i do about egwene’s fate, this all hurt me so much!!!

egwene, gawyn, and rand have a scene alone together, perfectly timed to coincide with my third eye being opened to this forbidden polycule jkdfjgh

rand gives egwene a hair ribbon: “you always looked forward so to being able to braid your hair.” 😭😭😭😭

why didn’t mat get a nice little present from rand!!!!!!!!

“‘i just...i didn’t want to go to my fight with our last meeting having been an argument, even if it was an important one.’ ‘oh, rand,’ egwene said. she stepped forward, taking the ribbon. she embraced him.” 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ all of this late-series rand-egwene stuff is gonna hit SOOOO well in the show since their early-series relationship was strengthened so much!

rand tells gawyn that he (rand) is galad’s half-brother!! finally this is shared!!! “egwene had figured this out ages ago” why didn’t you tell gawyn or elayne then jdkfg though maybe i’ll hopefully assume rand has told elayne by now in one of their little battle camp rendezvous.

gawyn is shook and asks about elayne and rand assures him that he and elayne are not related. secretly gawyn was asking because he wanted to know if HE and rand were related and if he would have to feel awkward about his homoerotic obsession with rand djfkg

“half-brother. not that it would probably mean much to a whitecloak.” 💔💔 galad winning the worst brother of the year award once more! and at least this does explain why rand wouldn’t have sought him out to tell him that they’re brothers. “‘i think galad would surprise you,’ gawyn said softly.” is gawyn??? being nice to rand??? oh my heart!!

and we have an uncomfortable and sad scene of mat being poked and prodded at and forced into new clothes that he hates, YET AGAIN. tuon really is just tylin 2.0

“normal life had been harder for mat than for other boys.” the Queer Mat vibes of this line when taken out of context!

“for much of mat’s life, he had wished that people would not look at him so much...now he had it [since the seanchan are all lowering their eyes], and it made him sick.” 💔💔

the one bit of good news from this scene is that mat is in last battle mode and is all business and prepared to whip the seanchan into shape, so that bs of him abandoning the last battle seems to be over now. and i can see narratively why rj would’ve wanted a major protagonist entrenched in the seanchan firmly enough that he can force them to come to the last battle and be their military commander, but there were just so many better ways to execute that.

okay so a MASSIVE army of sharans, whom we’ve heard about in passing like 4 times before this moment and barely even knew existed, just Traveled into the middle of egwene’s camp COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE what in the goddamn hell???? talk about a deus ex machina! this is even worse than guybon and his massive army showing up out of the blue in KOD!

“i am the amyrlin seat, she told herself firmly. i will be strong. i will survive. so long as i live, the white tower stands. she still let gawyn hold her.” 😭😭

“if the end of the aiel was the sacrifice required for rand to win, [aviendha] would make it...better that one people should end than the world fall completely under Shadow.” okay but in the visions the world fell completely under the seanchan which is the SAME DAMN THING

we get another wonderful little avirand scene, hell yeah i wasn’t expecting to get another!!!

“she stepped up to him, and he moved so that he stood just beside her, his shoulder touching hers. he did not drape an arm around her, and she did not take his hand. he did not own her, and she did not own him. the act of his movement so that they faced the same direction meant far more to her than any other gesture could.” I HAVE BEEN STRUCK DEAD BY ROMANCE!!!! SHIT!!!!!!! I’M DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! understated romantic moments between reserved characters are my kryptonite!!!!! also, howling screaming cackling at the STARK contrast between min and her possessiveness and insecurity constantly plastering herself all over rand and trying to show everyone that she owns him LMAO

RAND CALLS AVI “SHADE OF MY HEART” 😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

okay okay i’m calm! no i’m not, but i must continue on.

AVI STRAIGHT UP SAYS RAND SHOULD TAKE THE DARK ONE GAI’SHAIN JKJFKGJ THE ICON JUMPED OUT

rand used the dagger ter’angreal on his shayol ghul scouting mission and it successfully prevented the dark one from seeing him, nice! “aviendha, that you should find this and identify it when you did, that elayne should give it to me...the pattern weaves us all where we need to be.” AVIRANDLAYNE PERFECT THROUPLE PERFECT NARRATIVE COMPLEMENTS THERE IS NO NARRATIVE REASON FOR MIN TO BE PART OF THIS RELATIONSHIP

“rand smiled, then added, ‘elayne sounded sad when she gave me the dagger. i think a part of her wanted to keep it because it would let her curse by the dark one’s name without drawing his attention.’” DJFKJG he knows his wife! also, i adore this little moment of rand fondly ribbing elayne to aviendha, just as elayne fondly ribbed aviendha to rand when complaining about how they both snuck up on her. they are all married! MIN is never involved in these moments of other partners being fondly ribbed, because she refuses to acknowledge that rand HAS other partners when she’s with him.

rand tells avi that the shadow has the seals! a small thing but after so many books of rand needlessly keeping information from his own partners elayne and aviendha, i get so happy in this book when he keeps them abreast of what’s going on!

“‘we will find a way to stop this,’ aviendha said, voice firm. he looked to her and smiled. ‘always the warrior.’ ‘of course.’ what else would she be?” ❤️❤️

nynaeve’s been studying callandor, which makes no sense as she has no ability with ter’angreal, but she has nothing to do while elayne and aviendha are busy doing hot girl shit, so that task was punted off to her. nynaeve really was so wasted after WH, or really after ACOS, i feel like her breaking her block was her last truly big solo moment. why isn’t she with egwene blowing up trollocs and helping with healing? she would be so effective there!

lmao of course min was hoping and assuming that rand would take her with him into THE LITERAL DARK ONE’S PRISON WHEN HE GOES THERE TO FIGHT HIM 1V1 good god i cannot with her. aviendha at least had reasonable grounds to hope to go, as she is an extremely capable warrior with both the power and with physical weapons, but what did min think she was gonna do, recite other people’s philosophical ideas at the dark one?

but rand is sending her to egwene’s battlefront and i’m guessing they might not see each other again, in which case min did NOT get a dedicated scene with him like elayne and aviendha did, fuck yeah we love to see it!!

“tomorrow, we invade shayol ghul and claim it as our own! if we must put our head into the lion’s mouth, let us make certain that he chokes upon our flesh!” damn! i was hoping to get to halfway through the book for this recap (currently 50ish pages away from halfway), but this is just too fitting a place to end the post!

one last note for the road: i’ve got to apply this quote to The Tragedy Of Mat. he is being forced to put his head into the lion’s mouth, but someday they WILL choke upon his flesh!

#wot #wot book spoilers #this chapter chunk wasn't even 200 pages lmao how did this post get so long! #especially considering so much of those 200 pages were battle scenes i skipped over with no commentary! #i guess 40% of the post is deep dives into the randlayne and cauthor reunions djfk that's important content!

[sisterofficerlucychen]

6, 7, 8, 13, 21, 25 + Tim Bradford

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

childhood trauma. tim’s dad was the first man to fail him, my dad was the first man to fail me, and a lot of how that stayed with him and shaped him resonates with me - the pain his father caused, how he never felt protected by him, how instead of being a role model he taught him who not to be. 

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

that we all simp tim bradford? ♡ no but i do enjoy how as a fandom his character growth and development has been acknowledged. how many of us had a similar first impression with him and the answer to anyone new to the fandom with tim is to “just wait” because it’s also a pretty universal experience of changing opinions about him? even if he isn’t everyone’s favorite, at least being able to recognize how far this character has come. 

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

this has to do more with the actors themselves but it stems from the characters - shipping the actors irl saying how they should be together or they’re in love or whatever. the commentary that gets made and how they’ll spam their personal socials with it is so disrespectful. admiring their friendship and how well they work together is one thing but trying to parallel fiction to real life is gross and it has actual consequences. 

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄  i swear he rolls his eyes or scoffs at someone at least once per episode bc mr. “do i look like a big softy?” is a patient man when it matters but does not have time for people’s bullshit. i also feel like this is probably his most used emoji haha.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

i like trying to get into his head, figuring out his motives and actions, really considering how he’d react or what he’d say. he’s so layered it creates so much opportunity in writing him that it's really fun. not necessarily something i don’t like but something that gets challenging is he’s sometimes so complex that trying to figure him out seems impossible so i worry i’m not writing him to who he is or am accurately capturing his voice.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

so i have two?? haha. very first impression of the first episode i ever watched was 2x11 and i just remembering thinking “damn, is the woman missing his gf/wife?? he’s so upset" (now that i think about it, i may have missed the beginning of the episode bc i was v confused for a hot second) but to the actual beginning of the series - omg, i HATED him. i was ready to throw hands at timothy bradford because the scene with the gardeners was actually a little triggering (grateful they circled back to it with lucy calling him out on it and tim acknowledging that was wrong of him and growing from it). i had a very similar reaction to lucy of just being appalled and then having this moment of “wait, what?” when they bumped into isabel and how it was clear that there was so much more to him than what he was letting on. i think it took me a few episodes to warm up to him but i do remember wondering if he was going to be the series villain or antagonist from how he was presented in that first half of the pilot. but no (thank god) turns out he was just a very broken man in a very dark place - i think that’s part of why he is my favorite (it flips between him and lucy depending on the day, lbr) but just the rawness and depth there is to him. between learning about his backstory and how that shaped him to his character development through the years, this man has such a special place in my heart (side note: so excited about whatever is going down in s6 that has eric learning more about tim bc we love to see that character growth). he’s just so human and there’s something so refreshing about that? to quote him, “he’s a man of contradictions” and it shows in how “some things matter more”. he’s someone people should want in their corner because the love, care, and loyalty he has for those that matter the most to him is so special. i think he deserves the world and to be protected at all costs. now i'll throw hands for him lol.

#answered #makeitastrength #tim bradford #the rookie #character ask game #thank you! ♡

[autistump]

tw for forced outing, underaged alcohol use, lesbiphobia

i’ve been forced to out myself a few times. i haven’t talked about it in depth but after the whole kit connor thing, i realized that people don’t realize how forcing people to out themselves fucks people up. not just celebrities, but random people too. so while i can’t say i know exactly how he feels (i admittedly am not in the public eye as he is, or at all really), i do know what it feels like to be powerless in that way.

i wish i could say i didn’t have to come out, i wish i could just be who i was and love who i wanted to, but people saw me and got to know me and for some reason decided i wasn’t worth coming out on my own terms. i’m not outspoken, i can barely stand up for myself and i prefer to keep to myself. my mom saw the way i acted and decided that she wasn’t gonna let me keep things from her, if she wanted something from me, she would get it. and that’s pretty much how it’s been my whole life.

i never got to just be myself and love without having to explain myself. i would try and she would find out about it and force me to tell her. the first time it happened i was about 12-13? i don’t remember exactly. she took me to lunch and started talking to me about boys. at that time i was still convinced that i did like them so i told her about this boy— one of my closest friends. we held hands and cuddled and hung out constantly, it sounded like i should like him, like we should like each other. she seemed satisfied until she got quiet and asked how i felt about girls. i had just stopped trying to convince myself i couldn’t like girls almost a year of trying. i definitely wasn’t ready to talk about it but she wouldn’t drop it. i said i wasn’t interested in girls and she kept pushing me until i said something along the lines of “i don’t know, i guess girls are pretty? i don’t know if i would date one, though”. she gave me a certain look and then went back to her food, moving into a different topic. i was scared and i was upset and i was confused because i still didn’t know who i was. i didn’t talk to her for a couple days after that, she didn’t understand why i was hurt.

i was only just discovering myself. i didn’t feel good about being forced to tell anyone about it, especially not my mom, who i wasn’t particularly close with. especially not after i found out she immediately told my sister that i was “going through a phase”. my sister was not happy with the way she approached that and how she reacted after forcing me to out myself.

i was a kid.

my sister talked some sense into my mom and i though she had since gotten better at handling situations like that. boy was i wrong.

the second time was at a party in the 11th grade. i was probably 16. i was dating my current gf and i was happy. i’m naturally a very physically affectionate person and even more so when i have alcohol in me, so i was pretty much cuddled up to everyone i knew that night. i guess i got too comfortable with one of my friends and i guess one of my friends had a crush on him because as i had my head on his shoulder and he was hugging me, my friend (well, i thought she was my friend) yelled out, loud enough for everyone to hear “aren’t you a lesbian? you told me the other day, were you just lying?” and i froze up. i wasn’t doing anything wrong, just hugging a friend. i had told her l in confidence that i didn’t think i liked boys and i believed i could trust her. and once she spoke up, a couple other of my friends backed her up and suddenly i was being pressured to put a name to my sexuality in front of a bunch of my peers and people i didn’t know. i was terrified of what could happen.

people talked about that for a long time and i lost a lot of friends because of how they reacted, whether it was sexualization, blatant lesbiphobia or saying they “knew something was off” about me. i didn’t talk to more than a handful of people for the last year and a half of high school.

the most recent time was this summer, june 12th to be precise. i had a shitty day at work and i was working through a few hour long panic attack due to the thunderstorm i had to be outside in. i got home and went straight to my room to cry. i got a good 20 minutes in until she came knocking on my door. i knew something was off right then because not only does she never knock on my door, she avoids the basement like the plague. i opened the door and she was yelling at me about leaving my laundry in the dryer or some shit, and so she had brought it down to my room. i tried to take it from her and go back to bed but she wouldn’t let me. she looked into my room, possibly for the first time since i moved into it, and noticed my flags. i felt comfortable and sage hanging them up since i knew that my parents never entered my room without my knowledge because they hate how messy it can get. but that night, she tried to force herself in. i had still been crying, the storm was still going on and i just wanted to cry myself to sleep. she asked what the flags meant. i begged her not to probe that night. i was in a bad place and i was far too tired to deal with it. i kept asking her if we could talk about it the next day. i was exhausted and i wasn’t ready. i kept saying that. “i’m not ready yet. especially not right now” and she kept forcing me. “just tell me what the flags are and then we can talk tomorrow” but there was no point in talking the next day if she forced it out of me that night. she pushed and pushed and pushed until i broke down and told her. the lesbian flag and the agender flag hanging on my wall, mocking me at this point. she had this sort of look on her face. then she looked around my room and yelled at me for it being a mess and then left.

i was closer to knowing who i was but i still wasn’t ready. i was upset with her the next few days (i honestly still am) and i only responded to her in short sentences, if i responded verbally at all. she didn’t understand why i was angry and i didn’t want to tell her. if she didn’t know why then there was no use telling her. she didn’t care about my boundaries.

we’ve never talked about it, not really. whenever my sexuality comes up in conversation, i feel like i have to force myself to pretend to be out and proud but, if i’m honest, i don’t feel like i have anything to be proud of. not getting to dictate how i came out as anything stripped away my power and confidence. i felt so powerless. coming out is supposed to be a thing that empowers people and makes them feel accepted or whatever. i never got that. i got humiliated in so many different ways for something i can’t control and something i wasn’t ready to talk about.

i’m only 18. and i’ve been forced out multiple times. i’m still a kid and i’ve been stripped powerless of my own self so many times, and i don’t see a way to recover my power. i want to be able to be myself and be happy.

i wanted to be able to just exist in my sexuality and not have to feel like i have to talk about it or explain it. lesbianism is a beautiful thing but for all i boast about it and talk about it’s beauty and how incredible it is, i couldn’t tell you how much of it is pretending i know how it feels. i know what it feels like to be accepted and to be shunned for my lesbianism, but i don’t know what it’s like to be comfortable with it. i try everyday and some days are easier than others but a lot of the time, i wonder what it would be like if i had the choice to tell people when i wanted to and not when they wanted to know. i hope one day i’ll find out

#forced outing #outing #lesbian #lesbianism #lesbiphobia #sexuality #lgbtq community #lgbt youth #this whole kit connor thing really hit me hard lol #stop forcing people to out themselves #idk if any of this made sense but i wanted to get it out there

[thefanbasewhore]

I’ve had this idea stuck in my head for a week now 😫 how about a hc with Din accidentally walking in on reader taking a shower (but only sees their back or smn and reader doesn’t notice him) and he’s extremely awkward around them after that? Bonus points if they’re not together but there’s definitely ✨ something ✨ between them 🤧

gf, I love this idea 💞 get ready for flustered shy tin can 🤧 I wrote this very quickly probably doesn't have as much detail as it should but none the less hope you enjoy it! (I didn't do a taglist for this because I'm on mobile atm, but I am still taking request for head cannons while I finish the small bit of my clan din AU so it's coming soon to anyone who is wondering :))

Summary: Din sees reader back for the first time and gets really really shy about it.

Warning/Content: I really just had fun with this one, nothing sad or fluffy. Mentions of ass cheeks and nipples. Embarrassed Din.

It was late, very late when the Mandalorian managed to return, bounty in hand but not for long as the hissing of carbonate freezes him without worry.

Din starts to pull at his armour to remove it, not really caring as it falls to the ground with a slight thump until all he's left in is the dark tunic and matching pants with one goal in mind: a shower and sleep.

He's careful, tip toeing around the scattered toys left by his son, reminding him to pick them up in the morning before you or the baby manage to face plant into the floor of the crest.

Fingers push the curtain of the make shift room to the side to meet a green, curled up ball. The blankets are tucked under, three pillow per his request on each side of him, slow low breaths fall from his slightly parted lips, tiny white teeth poke through.

Then press the button to open his own bed except it's empty, he expects the bed hog who's been . He must have been to tired to notice the sound of the shower running, thick, hot steam that cloud the lower belly of the Razor Crest.

The ray of light that comes through the crack of the door attracts him, reflecting off his helmet as he approaches, hand pressing against the door to close it, to insure your privacy but through the thick steam of the room it catches a long part of skin, naked and out on display.

He tries to look away, really does because this is creepy and you deserve better then having him peeping on you like some pervert but the small of your back looks so smooth, two points that form dimples would make the perfect spot for his thumbs to fit while he's -

He shakes his head, face underneath the helmet growing red, his skin hot with the thought of joining you, giving into this we love each other but can never be together game you have going.

The steam wraps around his throat, makes it hard to breath as it fills the helmet. Eyes drop lower and lower to the top of your ass check as he has to hold onto the wall for support, leaning against it but his hand misses it completely, catching himself mid fall but not before his helmet bangs of the metal wall with a loud shriek.

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

The Mandalorian is in full panic mode, fingers begin to tremble, trying to decide if he should just run away or answer to your, "Hello?"

His skin is so hot, it burns and pricks, forms small beads of sweet against his forehead as he squeezes his eyes shut. Despite being on the verge of a panic attack he sounds calm.

"It's... just me... I'm sorry, I was going to shower. I didn't want to bother you I was just going to go bed and tripped. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay, I'll be out in a second. Didn't know you'd be home, it's early. I had the worst headache, thought a shower would help."

He leans against the wall, hand meeting the metal forehead with a whine as he taps it, idiot, idiot. "Yeah, okay Cyar'ika."

As you clatter through the bathroom, turning the water off and drying yourself he's starting to recover from his embarrassment, it sounds like you believed him but he nervously waits and he's glad he does.

You step out of the shower with just a towel that barely covers you, it's pushed tightly across your chest but just enough that he can see the the way your body reacts to the change of temperature, nipples hardening almost instantly. The towel leaves little to the imagination and it makes him want to see more but all he does instead is snap his gaze back up to your face before mumbling something about going to sleep and walking past you to close the door.

When he returns he finds you in clothes, tucked comfy into the blankets of the bed, it's dark, you made sure for when he returned from the shower he could just take the helmet off to go to sleep.

"The baby was miserable today.. wouldn't let me sleep." Din doesn't reply, just lets out a small sound from his chest, he turns to face you except he's greeded with nothing but darkness. "Head still hurts though, I'm going to try and sleep."

"Goodnight Cyar'ika, sweet dreams."

The next morning Din wakes up to an empty bed, it's usual after a bounty, you wake up with the baby to let him rest no matter how much he tells you it's fine, but who knows when the last time he's slept a full night.

Feet follow the sound of babbling and cooing, followed by your calming voice. The baby instantly changes as he sees his father, happy for his return as he waddles and pulls on his pant leg with grabby hands.

"Hi, pal." Eyes shift over to you as he lifts his son, mixing a small bowl of fruit together for which he is guessing is for the child that presses his fingers against his neck, curling a small piece of hair that peaks from under the helmet. "Does your back feel better?"

At that very moment he is so glad the heavy, lousy piece of beskar hides his face as is hits up ablaze, visibly stiffening as you tilt your head in his direction. He clears his throat, "I.. um. I.. meant your head."

He's choked up, fumbling words as pure lava sets in his chest, throat closing. He's nervous, caught red handed as he notices the cocky smile against your lips.

"You look nervous Din." You're playing with him, enjoying this moment that makes the man seem so very human. Sometimes it's hard to remember when he looks so unhuman, but the way his chest blushes under the white shirt, free hand nervously fiddles the hem of the shirt behind his back, can't speak much like last night he was too busy staring at you to notice you caught a glimpse of him in the mirror. "My back feels very fine, would you like to see or did you see enough yesterday?"

Before your hands could even reach the bottom of the t-shirt he is walking away, defeating mumbling something along the lines of. "That's not funny."

#din djarin fan fiction #din djarin imagine #din djarin x reader #the mandolorian imagine #din dijarin x reader #the mandolorian x reader #din djarin

[mediocre-writerr]

to build a home [leah rilke]

leah rilke x fem reader 

requested: I love your works so much I have read all of them many times! I had an au where maybe Toni’s younger biological sister who happens to be Leah’s gf was also on the plane and when they crash Leah and Toni do everything to find her and keep her alive when they see she’s in bad shape 

*not my gif*

You sat at the cool metal table from where you and the rest of the girls were being quarantined under. 

There were two men sitting in front of you. They said they were your friends, but after you’ve been through on the island. All of the conspiracies you went through...there’s no way that they’re actually FBI agents.

“So you and Leah Rilke are dating?” Agent Faber asks and you just nod, “How did you two meet?” he asks again.

You took a bite of the sushi that they brought you after you requested it, “I was in the foster care system for a long time in Minnesota. I went around lot, but somehow someway I was in California. That’s where I met my adoptive parents and Leah.” 

“Your adoptive parents were originally only supposed to foster you right?” they ask and you nod, “Seems like you made quite the impression.”

“I guess you could say that.” 

“Kids this is Y/N, your new foster sibling.” Mrs. Baylee says, introducing me to the rest of their kids, “This is Atticus, Lincoln, and Elizabeth.”

I just wave at the three kids. Atticus seemed around my age, Lincoln was slightly younger, and Elizabeth looked like she could be in third grade or something of the sort. 

“You’ll be staying in Elizabeth’s room and going to school with them tomorrow. Atticus here is in the same grade as you so he’ll help you manage.” Mr. Baylee explains and you nod softly. 

He laughs to himself, “Don’t talk much, do ya?” 

“Hudson!” Mrs. Baylee exclaims and you just laugh.

“Don’t worry it’s completely okay. I get that a lot.” you say, talking for the first time. 

“Well we’re happy to have you and I hope to change that not talking thing.” Mr. Baylee says with a smile. 

You look at the two men, “And you met Leah at school that day?” 

Again just one nod. 

“Alright well this is where your homeroom is. I don’t know if you need anything, but I’m here. Just give me a shout.” Atticus says and I nod, “I’ll see you around.” 

He walks away down the hall towards the rest of his friends. You enter your classroom and see a bunch of hipster girls wearing cool clothes. And here you were wearing a t-shirt and ripped jeans.

“Crazy, right?” a voice says to you and you turn your head to find the sound, “It’s like required that the girls here have to be hipster posting on their Instagram 24/7.” 

You were met with a beautiful brunette with bright blue eyes, “It makes me feel boring.” 

“But the best girls out there are boring and beautiful.” she smiles at you coyly, “I’m Leah,” she says, extending her hand out to you.

“Y/N.” 

“But there was more to your story than what meets the eye. You had an older sister, that you were separated from in the foster system.” Agent Faber says and you nod. 

“How did the two of you meet again?” Agent Young asks.

You scratch the back of your head, “My foster parents said that we had to get a signature from my birth mom to officially adopt me. They asked a lady to help us, I think her name was Gretchen, to find my birth mom. Gretchen said that she was in Minnesota and that I have an older sister.” 

“But you already knew that you had an older sister?” Agent Young questions and you nod.

“I was 7 when we were separated, I couldn’t forget the girl who always protected me.” 

You sat at the cafeteria table in the rehab center your mom was in with your foster parents. Twiddling your fingers that was in your lap. Another girl with brunette hair came in with what looked like to be her mom. And then another middle aged lady came in. 

All of us sitting at the table. No one willing to speak to each other. 

The middle aged lady spoke up, “Hi girls.” 

Me and the other girl who looked a little older than me stared at each other, “Toni?” was all you could whisper.

“You remember?” she asks and you nod.

“How could I forget my big sister?” you reply. 

The both of you stand up crashing into each other’s arms in a hug. She put her hair in my hand and tighten my arms around her. 

“I’ve missed you kiddo.” Toni whispers.

“I’ve missed you too.”

You don’t know why they were asking you all these questions. They would be more focused on the island than what happened before. So you decided to tell them the truth, but once it comes to the island...you’re gonna hide as much as you possibly can.

“Were you dating Leah before or after this?” he asks.

“Shortly after.” you reply simply.

The two of you were laying on the rough floor at the campsite you and your friends decided to go to. 

Your foster parents let you go. After months of being with them they’ve grown quite fond of you. They really brought you into their home with open arms and even Hudson loosened you up and got you talking to them more. And the kids they’ve been nothing but sweet to you, but no one can replace your actual sister.

You turned your head to look at the beautiful brunette next to you. To find that she was already staring at you. 

“Whatcha looking at?” you ask her softly.

“You.” she replies, “You’re so beautiful.” 

Leah’s hand reaches out towards you. She cups your cheek softly and you lean into the soft touch of her hand. Her beautiful blue eyes staring at you in awe as they slowly drift down to look at your lips. 

She does it once more, asking permission to kiss you. You nod subtly and the two of you slowly start to lean in, like two magnets being completely drawn to one another. 

The two of you finally connect your lips moving in perfect harmony. And it felt like coming home. Kissing her felt like coming home after a long trip, finally getting to sleep in your own bed for the first time. In your whole life full of uncertainty, you finally felt at home. With Leah.

“Be my girlfriend?” you blurt out after the two of you pull apart.

Leah chuckles softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, “Take me on a date first and we’ll go from there. Deal?”

“Deal.” you say with a wide smile on your face before leaning back in to kiss her again.

Agent Young starts reading your file as you take yet another bite of the sushi they sent you. You twiddle your hands in your lap looking around the small interrogation room.

“So how did you two find out about the trip?” Agent Fader asks, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

“My parents thought it would be cool if me and Toni went on a trip together. Since we’ve been separated for so long. Toni told them about Martha’s trip that her mom signed her up for.” you explain.

Agent Fader cuts you off, before you could continue, “Where was Toni staying at the time?” he asks.

“Martha’s parents were fostering her. She was the lady who came with her when we went to visit our birth mom,” you answer, “Anyway, Martha’s mom told my parents all about the trip. She signed Toni up,  they signed me up, and eventually Leah convinced her parents to sign her up so we could spend the summer together.” 

“But it didn’t go as planned.” Agent Young chimes in.

You nod with a tight-lipped smile, “Yeah it didn't.” 

The two of you were in the backseat of your parents minivan. Your siblings were up in the middle seat, while you and Leah squished in the back. 

“Why am I nervous? Should I be nervous?” Leah rambles.

You told Toni all about Leah and being the protective sister she is, she did not react well.

 Saying things like: “If I see her be rude to you in anyway, I will not hesitate to throw my piss at her.” 

You grab Leah’s hand intertwining your fingers together, before kissing her hand softly, “Lee, baby, breathe.” you say softly, “She’s gonna realize how happy you make me and everything will be okay.” 

She lets out a deep breath, closing her eyes a little, “Thank you.” she whispers and you nod in response, kissing her cheek softly. 

The two of you reach the airport. Your parents helping you guys get your luggage out of the trunk. They hug you tightly, kissing the top of your head.

“Be safe please.” your mom says to you, squeezing you a little tighter.

You nod, “I will, I promise.”

“Leah, look after this one. She’s a handful. If she ever gets too much just feed her to the sharks.” your dad jokes, giving her a hug.

“Oh I will not hesitate to do so Mr. Baylee.” she replies, returning his hug.

You stare at the two of them with an incredulous look on your face. Both of them laugh at your face before giving each other a high five. Your dad walks up to you and wraps his arms around you, ruffling your hair in the process.

“I’ll see you in a month, don’t be too much trouble.” he says and you tighten the hug.

“I’ll see you later.” 

You give each of your siblings a hug, ruffling the boys hair which causes them to let out a groan in response. 

You and Leah make your way to the gate of the private jet. Where Toni was already sitting in her basketball tank top. 

“Oh God.” Leah mumbles. 

“You got this!” you say to her, kissing her cheek to ease the tension.

You catch Toni’s eyes, running up to her to give her a big hug. When the two of you pull away she looks at Leah, extending her hand out to her.

“Toni.” she says simply. 

Leah shakes her hand and I could see her swallow back her nervousness, “Leah.” 

“And you must be Martha!” you exclaim at the girl who was sat next to Toni’s seat.

She stands up to give you a small hug, “Hi Y/N! It’s nice to meet you!” 

You and Leah take a seat across from your sister and her best friend. Waiting for the chance to be able to board the plane. 

“She scares me.” Leah murmurs under her breath, low enough for only you to hear.

“So the plane crashes, then what happened?” Agent Fader asks.

“I almost died.” 

“Y/N!” Leah screams as she starts swimming back to shore, “Y/N!!” she yells out again.

Searching frantically for where you were. The last thing Leah remembers is holding onto you for dear life before passing out. The rest of it is a big blur. 

“Leah!” Toni yells, running towards her, limping slightly.

“Have you seen Y/N?!” the two girls yell at the same time.

“Shit.” Leah says.

“Fuck.” Toni says at the exact same time. 

The two run along the shore desperate to find your body. Until they see Dot doing CPR on a girl, the two instantly make their way towards her. Only to see Jeanette passed out and not you.

“Have you seen Y/N?” Leah asks, out of breath.

Dot shakes her head, “No sorry.” 

“Help! We need help over here!” Rachel yells. 

She was carrying a limp body in her arms running towards the rest of the group. Leah and Toni take one look at each other before taking off towards Rachel, meeting her halfway. Only to see you lying in her arms passed out.

Rachel lays you down on the floor, “She was drowning. I went in and I pulled her out.” 

Toni immediately starts doing CPR, a little too fast. But she tries to get her posture under her control to save you. 

“C’mon baby. Wake up please.” Leah pleads, tears filling her eyes.

Toni starts murmuring under her breath something incoherent. But she keeps mumbling it over and over again. Leah notices drops falling onto your lifeless face, she leans down a little more to see Toni crying.

“Toni let me take over.” the blue eyed girl says.

Toni just shakes her head, “No I’m fine!” she yells.

But she just goes back to murmuring under her breath. Martha and Shelby come up and everyone’s staring at the sight in front of them.

“Y/N I just got you back!” Toni finally screams, “You can’t die on me!” 

“Please. You’re my home Y/N. I need you.” Leah whispers.

After endless amounts of CPR from Toni. The rest of the girls take turns when exhaustion starts to take over all of them. It’s weird that everyone here knows CPR. 

Dot was about to give up when you start coughing up water. Leah immediately cups your cheek in her hand as you continue coughing. 

“Oh thank God!” Shelby exclaims.

Toni looks at you with a worried look on her face. The ocean water making your hair wet as it plasters onto your face, “Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay.” you say with a nod.

She lets out a relieved breath before hitting your arm hard, “Ow what the fuck?!” you yell at your sister.

“You can’t scare me like that.” she whispers, tears filling into her eyes.

She takes you into a hug, rubbing her back softly. You turn to look at your girlfriend who still had tears dripping down her face. You take her face in your hands, wiping away the tears.

“When I told your dad I’d get rid of you I was just kidding.” she says with a small chuckle.

You match her laugh, smiling at her softly. You kiss her forehead softly, “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Rilke.” 

“All of the girls knew CPR. If just one of them didn’t, I don’t think I’d be here right now.” you state bluntly.

“What happens next?” Agent Young asks, looking at you intrigued.

“That’s what started our two months in Hell.” 

#leah rilke #leah rilke imagine #leah rilke x reader #the wilds #the wilds imagines

[cherryonigiri]

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

���Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #ushijima x reader #oikawa x reader #atsumu x reader #matsukawa x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #miya atsumu x reader #matsukawa issei x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #shiratorizawa #oikawa tooru #matsukawa issei #aoba johsai #haikyuu hcs #seijoh #miya atsumu #inarizaki #hq imagines #haikyuu #spicy haikyuu

[miraculousladybugandconsent]

Am I in a Healthy Relationship?

It Feels Like Love — But Is It?

It's totally normal to look at the world through rose-colored glasses in the early stages of a relationship. But for some people, those rose-colored glasses turn into blinders that keep them from seeing that a relationship isn't as healthy as it should be.

What Makes a Healthy Relationship?

Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well. Not sure if that's the case? Take a step back from the dizzying sensation of being swept off your feet and think about whether your relationship has these qualities:

Mutual respect. 

Does he or she get how great you are and why? Make sure your BF or GF is into you for who you are.

Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away, without trying to get you to change your mind?

Respect in a relationship means that each person values the other and understands — and would never challenge — the other person's boundaries.

Trust.

You're talking with a guy from French class and your boyfriend walks by. Does he completely lose his cool, or keep walking because he knows you'd never cheat on him?

It's okay to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters.

There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.

Honesty.

This one goes hand-in-hand with trust, because it's tough to trust someone when one of you isn't being honest.

Have you ever caught your girlfriend in a major lie?

Like she told you that she had to work on Friday night but it turned out she was at the movies with her friends?

The next time she says she has to work, you'll have a lot more trouble believing her, and the trust will be on shaky ground.

Support.

It's not just in bad times that your partner should support you.

Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart, but not that interested in hearing about the good things in your life.

In a healthy relationship, your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on when you find out your parents are getting divorced and to celebrate with you when you get the lead in a play.

Fairness/equality.

You need to have give-and-take in your relationship.

Do you take turns choosing which new movie to see?

As a couple, do you hang out with your partner's friends as often as they hang out with yours?

You'll know if it isn't a pretty fair balance.

Things get bad really fast when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get their way all the time.

Separate identities.

In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises, but that doesn't mean you should feel like you're losing out on being yourself.

When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that shouldn't change.

Neither of you should have to pretend to like something you don't, or give up seeing your friends, or drop out of activities you love.

And you also should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.

Good communication.

Can you talk to each other and share feelings that are important to you?

Don't keep feelings bottled up because you're afraid it's not what your partner wants to hear.

And if you need some time to think something through before you're ready to talk about it, the right person will give you some space to do that.

What's an Unhealthy Relationship?

A relationship is unhealthy when it involves mean, disrespectful, controlling, or abusive behavior.

Some people live in homes with parents who fight a lot or abuse each other — emotionally, verbally, or physically. For some people who have grown up around this kind of behavior it can almost seem normal or okay, but it's not!

Many of us learn from watching and imitating the people close to us. So someone who has lived around violent or disrespectful behavior may not have learned how to treat others with kindness and respect, or how to expect the same treatment. This does not make it okay to disrespect you!

Qualities like kindness and respect are absolute requirements for a healthy relationship.

Someone who doesn't yet have this part down may need to work on it with a trained therapist before he or she is ready for a relationship.

Meanwhile, even though you might feel bad or feel for someone who's been mistreated, you need to take care of yourself — it's not healthy to stay in a relationship that involves abusive behavior of any kind.

Even if your partner was or is being abused, it is never okay for them to abuse you, and you aren’t a bad person for keeping yourself safe.

Warning Signs

When a boyfriend or girlfriend uses verbal insults, mean language, nasty putdowns, gets physical by hitting or slapping, or forces someone into sexual activity, it's a sign of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.

Ask yourself, does my partner:

get angry when I don't drop everything for them?

criticize the way I look or dress, and say I'll never be able to find anyone else who would date me?

keep me from seeing friends or from talking to other guys or girls?

want me to quit an activity, even though I love it?

ever raise a hand when angry, like they were about to hit me?

try to force me to go further sexually than I want to?

These aren't the only questions you can ask yourself. If you can think of any way in which your partner is trying to control you, make you feel bad about yourself, isolate you from the rest of your world, or — this is a big one — harm you physically or sexually, then it's time to get out, fast.

Let a trusted friend or family member know what's going on, and make sure you're safe.

It can be tempting to make excuses or misinterpret violence, possessiveness, or anger as an expression of love.But even if you know that the person hurting you loves you, it is not healthy.

No one deserves to be hit, shoved, or forced into anything they don't want to do.

Why Are Some Relationships So Difficult?

Ever heard about how it's hard for someone to love you when you don't love yourself? It's a big relationship roadblock when one or both people struggle with self-esteem problems.

Your partner isn't there to make you feel good about yourself if you can't do that on your own.

Focus on being happy with yourself, and don't take on the responsibility of worrying about someone else's happiness.

What if you feel that your girlfriend or boyfriend needs too much from you? If the relationship feels like a burden or a drag instead of a joy, it might be time to think about whether it's a healthy match for you.

Even if your partner is mentally ill, or struggling with something in their personal life, it doesn’t mean you have to stay with them. A relationship is supposed to benefit both sides and make you both happy. If all it’s doing is making you miserable, it’s okay to end it.

You are never obligated to stay in a relationship, no matter your reasons for ending it. 

If your partner ever threatens you with hurting themselves if you leave them, tell a trusted adult immediately, and end the relationship. Even if someone is mentally ill, it is never okay to threaten self-harm or suicide to keep someone in a relationship, and you are not responsible for their actions, even if they try to blame you. Tell a trusted adult that your partner was threatening to hurt themselves, and end the relationship.

Manipulating someone with the threat of self-harm or suicide is abusive, and it is never okay.

If you are struggling with suicidal ideation or thought of self-harm, talk to a trusted adult or call a helpline. You can talk to your partner about the way you feel, but it is not okay for you to use your mental illness as a threat or a manipulation tactic.

Feeling suicidal doesn’t always mean you want to die, wishing you didn’t exist or were never born is another common symptom. Click here to find out how you can get help if you’re feeling suicidal or want to hurt yourself.

Another reason relationships might seem so difficult is because intense relationships can be hard for teens.

Some are so focused on their own developing feelings and responsibilities that they don't have the emotional energy it takes to respond to someone else's feelings and needs in a close relationship.

Don't worry if you're just not ready yet. You can take all the time you need, even if you decide you never want to date at all.

Ever notice that some teen relationships don't last very long? It's no wonder — you're both still growing and changing every day. You might seem perfect for each other at first, but that can change. If you try to hold on to the relationship anyway, there's a good chance it will turn sour. Better to part as friends than to stay in something that you've outgrown or that no longer feels right for one or both of you.

And before you go looking for amour from that hottie from French class, respect your current beau by breaking things off before you make your move. Cheating isn’t okay, no matter your reasons.

Relationships can be full of fun, romance, excitement, intense feelings, and occasional heartache, too.

Whether you're single or in a relationship, remember that it's good to be choosy about who you get close to. If you're still waiting, take your time and get to know plenty of people, and know that no choice needs to be permanent.

Think about the qualities you value in a friendship, and see how they match up with the ingredients of a healthy relationship.

Work on developing those good qualities in yourself — they make you a lot more attractive to others.

And if you're already part of a pair, make sure the relationship you're in brings out the best in both of you.

source

#relationships #healthy relationships #romance #dating #miraculous ladybug #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir #Ladybug #Adrienette #Lovesquare #Marichat #Ladynoir #important #signal boost #abusive relationships #unhealthy relationships #abuse

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 30

First

Previous

Next

It wasn’t until she was at work that Ladybug had seen the video.

Sure, she’d felt the familiar buzz of her phone in her pocket. She assumed it was telling her that one of her housemates had uploaded a video to TikTok, but she hadn’t thought much of it. It was Chat’s usual upload time. And, yeah, she definitely intended to watch Chat’s video at some point. It was bound to be some cute animal. But she was at work, so...

Then, to her surprise, her phone continued to buzz. Nino, probably, she didn’t know many other people she still talked to consistently and he had no reservations about double texting (or triple texting, or quadruple texting, or --).

She needed to hold off until she was done with her meeting with the Tsurugis. They were choosing their outfits for some kind of gala that Gabriel Agreste was going to be holding for the holidays.

(She gave very few clients the option of choosing between multiple designs, really. They were only going to choose one so the others would likely be scrapped, so she usually did one and then either took their critiques or went back to the designing phase… but the Tsurugis honestly kind of scared her so...)

As the two looked over their choices, she began to get curious.

She asked if she could take a call and, once they said that it would be alright, she slipped outside. She made sure she was a little bit away before leaning against the wall and pulling out her phone.

Obviously she wasn’t ACTUALLY going to call, it’s not the dark ages, but she did check her texts.

As she suspected, it was Nino.

Ninomorepuns: hey

Ninomorepuns: hey

Ninomorepuns: poppet

Ninomorepuns: hey poppet

Ninomorepuns: hey

Poppet: WHAT

Ninomorepuns: oh shit it worked

Poppet: I was at work what the duck do you want

Poppet: *fuck

Ninomorepuns: duck

Poppet: stfu. just tell me what you want I’m still at work and I need to go back soon

Ninomorepuns: did you see the new tiktok chat noir uploaded

She clicked her tongue irritably. Really? This was about the TikTok account? Sure, she could expect this from someone like Rena, but Nino?

Ninomorepuns: i think youd be interested in it since it has your gf in it

When did she get a girlfriend? And why wasn’t she told --?

Oh, wait. Right. She’d told Nino that she had a crush on Ladybug once to explain why she was running towards akumas instead of away from them.

An embarrassed blush spread across her face at the memory. She should have thought of a better lie --.

Wait, fuck, SHE was Ladybug. Chat had uploaded something about her?!

She pulled up Chat’s account.

Her eyes narrowed in on the fact that the thumbnail for his newest video was a black screen instead of the usual still frame of the animal of the day. She clicked on it…

Chat’s breathing was heavy. The bright green captions on the black screen read “Thought someone was in the house :(!”

And then there was the flick of the lightswitch. The camera went pure white as it attempted to adjust to the sudden light… and then she saw herself. In her Totoro onesie. Eating the abomination that she was still regretting hours later.

She closed out of the app. She knew what had happened next, after all.

She swallowed thickly, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes despite her best attempts. Kwami, the internet was going to have a field day. The hard edges of her phone case dug into her hand.

She wanted, so badly, to just go back to the way things were. When she didn’t have to care about her image, when she didn’t have to think about how people would react to the smallest of mistakes. That few month gap between Paon and Hawkmoth hadn’t even been enough for her to appreciate it, and she’d only been around twelve at the time, but kwami did she miss it. When mistakes were just mistakes and she was just a kid...

A ragged gasp escaped her throat and she slowly slid down the wall.

She let her phone hit the ground and brought her hands to her hair, squeezing her eyes shut. How do you breathe again? Her throat was too clogged with tears for her to even remember what it was like to breathe normally.

She felt a tiny hand on her cheek and slowly creaked her eyes open. Tikki was hovering in front of her. The kwami was breathing (or at least making a sound similar to it). Ladybug matched the pace as best she could, forcing all thoughts that weren’t remembering how to breathe out of her head.

After a moment, she managed to bring her breathing to normal.

She gave the kwami a weak smile and nuzzled her face against her.

“Thanks, Tikki,” she murmured.

It sucked, but she couldn’t afford to be like this at the moment. As far as she knew, there hadn’t been an akuma yet that day so she needed to keep everything in check.

There would probably be an akuma by the time she got home, at least, so she could feel free to get mad or panic once that happened. Did she really know what she was going to do? Not really. She’d probably figure it out by then, though.

She looked back at her phone and then pulled up her chat with Nino again because, to him, she had just disappeared for no reason.

What would she normally say?

Poppet: wow. she’s an even bigger disaster than I am

Ninomorepuns: right lmao you might actually be the sensible one in the relationship

Poppet: stfu. I’ll kill you

Ninomorepuns: better not do it during an akuma or itll be fixed

Poppet: you right

Ninomorepuns: wait dont you still have work go away

She rolled her eyes a little and started typing a response along the lines of ‘you’re the one that distracted me from work in the first place’ but something pulled her attention away from her phone.

The doorknob jingled, there was a blur of black and red as Tikki dove to hide in her jacket pocket, and then Kagami was poking her head through.

“My mother and -- are you alright?”

Ladybug rubbed under her eyes to get rid of any stray tears. “Of course! Sorry, my friend just told a really good joke and I guess my laughter got away from me.” She pulled a bright smile to her face. “Are you and your mom done choosing?”

The woman in front of her didn’t seem to believe her, but she nodded shortly. She pushed herself to her feet, brushed herself off, and continued on with her day.

~

She pulled her mask on outside the door and the smile on her face was just a fraction too wide as she stepped inside.

“Rena,” she said, because she was the only person she saw in the living room.

She looked up from her phone and then tensed ever so slightly at the sight of a clearly pissed off Ladybug. “Bonjour,” she greeted carefully.

“Has anyone been akumatized yet today?”

“... yeah. It was the homeless guy on eighth and --.”

“Cool. Thanks.” She walked up a flight of stairs and raised her hand to knock on Chat’s door.

She stopped herself.

The conversation they’d had only yesterday rang in her ears.

One bad day away from akumatization. That’s what Master Fu had said. She pressed her lips together thinly. He’d been right, apparently, all it had taken for the emotional wall she’d built to crumble was for her persona to crack even slightly… sure, she had her reasons for why she was so upset that the public was now aware of the fact that she wasn’t who she said she was -- and the fact that it was because of Chat of all people didn’t help -- but she’d thought she was reasonably stable emotionally up until then...

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the cold wood of his door and trying her hardest to think.

The options were to suppress the emotions or address them. Suppressing them clearly wasn’t working as much anymore, but she only had about twelve to twenty-four hours to properly address them if she wanted to do that…

She hesitated.

Maybe if she addressed part of the feelings then she could suppress the rest. That would work, right?

She walked up to her room/attic and started making a plan.

By the end of the night, she’d finished writing it all out in the back of her sketchbook.

Glitter

Ruin that perfect motherfucker’s perfect skin and perfect hair

Glitter Part 2 Electric Boogaloo

Lull him into a false sense of security

Make him think he’s going insane

M u r d e r

It wasn’t a lot, only six parts, but she felt like she would probably be fine after part six.

(She’d better be, you can’t really get revenge on a dead person.)

Her problems with the people of Paris would still be there, but at least her problems with Chat would be over with.

She smiled at the plan. Yes, it was all coming together now.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0 @ladybug-182 @cas-and-their-refusal-to-write @trippingovermyfeet @melicmusicmagic @meimei3841 @roseliali

#a miraculous tiktok account #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #carapace #nino lahiffe #chat noir #adrien agreste #rena rouge #alya cesaire #queen bee #chloe bourgeois #miraculous team #miraculous fic #ml fic #chloenette #chlonette #adrino

[nightshadedawn]

Persona 5 Royal Playthrough pt3

I ended up going through two Palaces before I could update y’all. Oh well.

...Yeah, no, quit calling me Miss Special Snowflake's boyfriend. It's not happening.

Ryuji, Morgana, and Yusuke having a conversation in the laundromat: "It's like he's our mom," says Ryuji... the mom friend.

Every time Morgana is like "I have to turn into a human so no one else can have Lady Ann!" then expects no one else to hear him makes me laugh. Like, bitch, no.

I have the restaurant in my Thieves Den 'cause I like it. Yusuke, Ryuji, and Morgana are there. They're so precious.

I got a three in a row Tycoon on cutthroat!!!

Ryuji and Ann just keep going "Shoulda figured" and other versions of the statement every time I win.

Ann just rejected Morgana's feelings HARD. I am happy.

Ryuji is too good, honestly. Why would anyone not like him? He's... He's always trying to build the team up, make them proud of themselves and what they've done. I will admit that he has his moments of being not a great human, but they're teenagers who were given absurd powers, so honestly, can you blame them?

I didn't know darts was an actual minigame! There's so many minigames. I'm so happy.

I don't like Akechi. I don't know why some people do. Like, his death scene was a bit... too late for a redemption for me, right after he tried to kill Joker, several times. His pain is understandable, but still... I can't.

Their "two sides of the same coin" also doesn't seem particularly fair. It's totally uneven in everything but color schemes.

Guys, GUYS, please, PLEASE decide whether you're going to react to my teasing or not.

"We don't have to deal with them directly," Ryuji says joyfully about the mafia. Oh you sweet, sweet, innocent child, if only you knew what I do.

I literally can't play this game around anyone else because I tend to yell "BABY!" to Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke and "BITCH" or "FUCKER" to... a rather long list of villains in this game... and Makoto.

I can literally feel Yusuke's anxiety about his painting when you take him to Leblanc to see Sayuri.

How can you say Yusuke isn't gay when he says everything I do is beautiful?

I love Ryuji's 9th social link. It's LITERALLY written like a confession scene. This also means I kinda hate it because... I can't date him.

Also... PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI

I actually kinda thought that the new scene for Ryuji being a crossdresser is kinda funny??? Is this bad??? I wanna see him in a dress, tho. I gotta agree, he'd be a natural. Not the like, painfully obviously not taking it seriously from the dancing game, though.

Though I do think it's valid that he freaks out when two strange adults come up to him and try to take him somewhere, especially in a place known for being shady, and at night.

...When Ryuji complains about it, I do feel bad about ditching him. Then again, I blame the cat.

Ryuji may be my ideal type on paper, but I'm also highly attracted to Yusuke and this is so totally unfair.

*softly chanting* butlers butlers butlers butlers

Don't mind me just... *makes meticulous plot to avoid having Makoto join the team that i may or may not write a fanfic about*

Makoto is one dumbass bitch. Like, honestly, there's nothing she does that's in any way remotely smart.

...I thought I'd just skip Makoto's scenes until she became relevant, but here I am, still skipping her scenes. Does that mean she’s still irreleveant?

"Witch" I suggest, and Makoto complains! "Would you prefer "Bitch"? I can use that too.

I put Yusuke on the team in the middle of the palace through settings, replacing Morgana, who had been standing right behind me. Which made Yusuke stand right behind me. It looked like he was holding onto my waist and standing uncomfortably close. Bro, babe, I love you, but not in front of my boyfriend and girlfriend!

Just accept the compliment, guys, I'm not going to compliment Queen.

...Opening chests with Ann or Ryuji is just so sweet because they're so affectionate and touchy feely. Especially Ryuji.

Math. Fucking. Sucks. I should not have to use math in a game. I hate this. Obviously it's the Palace Makoto comes in that this happened.

Well, I finished the Palace in a day. I love the feeling. But it was getting close there. Joker and Yusuke were down to no spells...

...Yoshizawa hasn't showed up yet. When is she getting shoehorned in?

WHY IS THE VELVET ROOM RED!?

My very first playthrough I didn't execute a single execution except for the first one we have to do. It  really screwed me over my second playthrough...

...I broke the electric chair. That's certainly something that happened.

147 games of Tycoon later and I've only been a beggar 31 times in total, versus the pure thirty wins in just Cutthroat.

They're in their summer uniforms and it makes make miss warmer weather already. It's fucking snowing outside. Grrrr.

Beat Kaneshiro! ...Wasn't a fan of his new boss battle. I'm even playing on safe mode! But whatever.

Makoto is a DISASTER at Tycoon. She exclusively got beggar all three times I played with her!

...RYUJI YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AND NOT LET ME DATE YOU.

Ann, sweeties, baby, you're doing so well.

She confessed to me, then in the call afterwards it was basically insinuated I proposed... WHICH IS LIKE FUCK YEAH 'CAUSE SHE ACCEPTED IT.

It makes me think of the future conversation where they're talking about marriage.

Anyway, if you haven't noticed, l love Ann.

My next playthrough I'm not gong to date her, though. I'm a completionist and I want ALL of the possible awards. But... I refuse to cheat on Ann. So I'll date everyone else then just hang with Ryuji... despite how cringy some of the date things are.

...If Akechi wasn't, you know EVIL and tried to KILL ME, SEVERAL TIMES, I might, MIGHT, like him. But in truth, I think that's really just the Persona 5: Revival talking. We get... into some stuff during that.

I know that either Atlus or the translators know EXACTLY what goes on in the Persona fandom because otherwise "He's too pretty to be wrong" would not be an option when talking to the newspaper girl about Akechi. I have to agree with her that his looks aren't really, you know, awesome enough for that.

Also, I read it as "He's too petty to be wrong" at first and I think that's an accurate sum of his character.

YO AKECHI-FUCK I HAVE NO NEED TO SEE YOUR ASS LIKE THAT WHEN I HAVE BOTH A BF AND AND GF.

...fucker fucking giving me shit about my fake glasses...

If you COULD date the boy out of mod, Akechi would definitely be the one they were pushing you to date. Like Makoto. Or Yoshizawa.

But hey, at least I get to not be nice to him.

I remember seeing this picture where Ann, Ryuji, and Joker kept going to the movies together and seeing 3D movies, and Joker couldn't wear the 3D glasses properly because of his own. I keep imagining that picture during this event with Caroline and Justine.

You know what? Some people call Joker a loli lover because of them, but nope! He's just adopted two more siblings. That is my stance on it.

FUcking

Fucker

WHAT THE FRRRRRRRR

FUCK YOU ATULS OR TRANSLATORS OR WHATEVER

APHRODITE AND MARS ARE FROM TWO DIFFERENT MYTHOS. Aphrodite is GREEK, Mars is ROMAN. Their reversed are VENUS and ARES. USE ONE OR THE OTHER PEOPLE.

I get very pissed about this, and it's worse with Hades.

7/4 is the day I am screaming at, if you were wondering.

My dad asked me if the other students think Joker's stupid because every time I answer a question right they get all surprised.

I don't really like Makoto, as I'm sure you've noticed, but she was super nice about Ryuji's special move idea. And that put her ahead of Akechi in my book.

TESTS ARE NERVE WRACKING EVEN WHEN THEY'RE FICTIONAL

Yusuke and Ryuji are good boys, the best boys. And they're so awesome about their special move.

AND RYUJI OFFERED MONEY FOR YUSUKE'S FOOD. And implied that he did it before???? Ryuji, you best boy.

This boys' outing DOES make me happy, though. Like, insanely happy. Dunno why.

Maybe because Joker gets to be so flipping cheesy.

...fuck you, Yoshizawa.

HONESTLY WHAT THE EVER LOVING--- Grr. Too many choices while with her. Too many. OOC Joker when with her. 0/10.

I LOVE THE FESTIVAL PHOTO

And you know, it's really hard to choose between Lala-chan and Ann, but... GONNA TAKE ANN ON A DATE

Got her some flowers. Lets see if we can give them to her this time!

"Such a good FRIEND." Babe, we're DATING. For like, TWO WEEKS NOW.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GIVE HER FLOWERS

Ann called Yusuke a pretty boy, but then she's missing out on the REAL pretty boy, Pretty Boy Ryuji.

Ryuji, why're you so worried about other girls when you've got ME?

"I like the shade." "What are you, moss!?" Oh, admit it, Ryuji, I'm growing on you.

Cargona. Snrk. Gods, I love you, Ryuji.

Dome town with Ryuji! "Isn't it all couples?" That's the point!

I COULD GIVE RYUJI THE ROSES!?

Sadly, I bought those for Ann. Ryuji, you get the noodles.

AND HE FUCKING LOVED IT.

"It feels like I really captured Ryuji's heart!" FUCK YEAH I DID

Gonna give Yusuke the bracelet when I get the chance.

Why is everyone color coded in the chat room? Kawakami, Akechi, Mishima, and the reporter are all ORANGE. What's the point? Well, Akechi's more of a golden orange, but close enough.

While Mishima is not my first choice for a date, he's definitely not my last.

...But the boy really needs some fucking sleep. He's not drawn with the bags under his eyes, but I can see them!

It's not fair that they give Akechi a kicked puppy sprite. I'm... goddamnit, they're trying to make me not hate him.

When Makoto doesn't know something, I'm brought great joy.

NO DAD MAKOTO IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND ANN IS AND SHE IS LITERALLY R I G H T T H E R E

First day in Futaba's Palace! I've gotta say, this is my second favorite palace. Kamoshida, Futaba, Madarame, Sae, Okumura, Shido, Kaneshiro, Holy Grail. In that order. I HATE Kaneshiro's place and dealing with the Holy Grail. But whatevs, man. I love this game. (Vanilla, at least, this one is still on the fence)

I found out a cool little thing. On the uphill sand slopes in the town (don't know about anywhere else) if you're running and turn back quickly, Joker will do a little animation to steady himself. It was cool and made it seem, I dunno, more human? Anyway, while I was admiring this, Ryuji and Yusuke just stood at the top of the slope and Ann followed me while I was running. Best girlfriend ever.

Kin-Ki is looking pretty kin-ky if you know what I'm sayin'

Please don't murder me because I do terrible puns.

*we fall through the trap door* *Ryuji starts screaming* Same, baby, same.

...Makoto is seriously annoying. Like, she's got no business acting as familiar with Futaba's situation. The one who WOULD be the most familiar is Yusuke, and I'm glad he recognizes that. It's not the exact same, none of their stories are after all, but I feel like those two get each other better than even Ryuji and Joker understand each other.

Yusuke and Ryuji's special attack is THE BEST

Ryuji and Joker getting up close and personal in the shadows. All those fanfics coming true, man.

I thought Futaba was sloth, not wrath? Why are her Will Seeds called Wrath?

Beat it in one day! It's so satisfying to watch all those achievements when I leave the palace.

You know, I'm thinking of wearing the Christmas outfits for the final battle. Just to be kinda funny.

Spending a relaxing day with Yusuke after going through Futaba's Palace... kinda want to take him to the bathhouse to check out that new scene, but I also REALLY wanna feed the boy... gonna feed the boy.

Apparently I can only make 'decent curry.' Which is fine. Because "I" can't make curry at all. Joker, you've done much better than I.

THE DATE CHANGE SCREEN HAD A RAINBOW AND RYUJI WAS COMING OVER ON THE SAME DAY FUCK YEAH MY BISEXUAL BABY

...Broooooo, the way you talk about your manga is how I talk right before I start shipping.

Took him to the bathhouse, 'cause I don't gotta worry about Mama Sakamoto feeding him.

...Can I take Ann to the bathhouse?

Asked Ryuji to move in. He was all up for the idea until he remembered that I live in an attic.

I'm Charismatic now!

...I was all hoping Ann would stop by but then Akechi asked me out. Laaaaaaaame.

Ryuji's smile is so fucking cute.

...I say we just be honest, and everyone's so fucking stupid about it until Makoto explains it. This pisses me off. They're not that dumb... At least, they weren't until Makoto showed up.

Futaba's hiding in the closet. ...I've spent too many weeks making jokes about closets to not have a joke about it.

Really, Yusuke? You see those books and think she can't understand?

...Wait, that sassy tone of voice... You were TRYING to pull a reaction of her. I knew I shipped those two for a reason. OTP and BroTP. Doesn't matter, they're both awesome.

I love you Ann, but I don't think your situations were the same at all. It's not like both are valid and bad, but... different.

Joker is SO fast compared to the others, especially when he's speeding.

What the...

Holy fuck...

JOKER IS TOO EFFING COOL

THAT MOVE TO GET FROM THE ENTRANCE TO TO TREASURE DOOR? Awesome!

Damn, Joker has my heart too.

I kinda wish we could see Futaba's costumes in her Persona. That would be pretty neat.

The moment right before Wakaba appears is so aesthetically pleasing.

...Futaba being happy is almost enough for me to accept Maruki's offer, and I haven't gotten there yet.

Ryuji and Ann keep smacking each other out of their ailments. Like, you guys just love each other so much! It's awesome.

Joker has lackluster responses to Wakaba... I'm hoping that isn't one of those "Answer these wrong and you break her!" things... Not that I think I was, but still.

I liked Futaba's new animation for when she defied her mother.

I wish the anime looked more the cutscenes. I'm trying to rewatch the anime so I can pinpoint specific moments for future editing purposes, but it's kinda painful.

1- This is the SECOND TIME you've landed on Yusuke while running from trouble.

2- YUSUKE LET GO OF MY GIRL

No Makoto, I don't want to go see Futaba with you! I can go see her myself.

So, I like Takemi's new voice with her lines during this scene.

Sure, she collapses every so often and sleeps for a while. Stays like that for a few days. Sorry that I put her into a coma for a month, Boss...

SHE LOOKS SO CUTE WITHOUT GLASSES

Guys, we have a month. Stop worrying.

THE TWINS ARE SO CUTE WHILE HANGING ONTO THE BENCH PRESS

Damn, Joker's dying to the amusement of two little girls.

I'm kinda disappointed I didn't get results for all that training. But I liked the scene.

Yusuke just casually be lugging bigass paintings around.

Taking the girls to the church may have been one of the funnier moments. These cement them as Joker's little sisters. With Futaba. Damn, Joker, you got no brothers.

Yusuke promises to come by every day and we can tell him to take his clothes off. ATLUS, you have some EXPLAINING to DO.

..And Yusuke took it and ran with it. My sweet summer child, I don't think I could handle you in as little as possible on the day to day.

"The heat induced delirium made me think outside the box." Same.

Guts takes sooooooooooooo long to level up.

"Punish me more" he says, as if Takemi won't do it.

"Good god. Well, none of my medicine can cure THAT." AT LEAST WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE

BATHHOUSE WITH YUSUKE

Awe, he had fun. :)

#Persona 5 #akira kusuru #shuann #pegoryu #pegoryuann #persona 5 royal #yusuke kitagawa #ann takamaki #Ryuji Sakamoto #Pretty Boy Ryuji

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 05 + 07.12.20 lbs

05.12.20

“tum saari property mere naam karoge.”

BITCH WHAT NOW???????????

V like dadiiiiiiiiiii ko dhokaaaaaaaa?!!!!?!?!?! oh ho, lagta hai pair chhoote chhoote V ko asli waale feels aa gaye dadi ke liye, free of charge!

THIS MAN AND HIS FACE NEED TO BE STOPPED SO HELP ME GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

also what else that tongue do (other than throw constant taane to guilt a bitch) baby boy mmmmmmmhmmmmmmm 😏😏😏

riddhima thinking ki property meaning khatra and she can’t allow it to stay on dadi, she has to take it on herself, so that if kabir tries hurting anyone, it’ll be her.

this one’s paar ki nazar has recognized that train of thought, i think.

she’s like think whatever you want idgaf, just do whatever the fuck i say or else. and don’t even think of charging me an extra paisa. jaake bhaanda phodna hai toh phod lo, phir you won’t get your remaining 4.5 cr. DAMN GIRL, WHERE THIS SHAATIR TAKE-CHARGE SIDE OF YOURS BEEN ALL THIS TIME???????/

hubs thinking same thing. he’s never been more turned on by her as when she’s using maximum brain.

“kya hai?????? aise taad kyun rahe ho?????????”

“taadna ekdum free of cost hai. only for your pretty face!” I HATE HIM.

LOVE THIS TROPE. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.

face change from smiley eyes to shaatir eyes, as he contemplates the facts before him. unf, the things it does to me to see him emote.

lijiye, iss show ke Idiot Brothers. and their plans to prove it’s not vansh and to get riddhima thrown out. i’ll pass.

but this one’s face tho. cutest. 

same, aryan. mera bhi yehiiiii reaction hai. taareeef karoon kya uskiiiii, jissne, tumhe banaaya!

some rando has come and is like hi, i’m your new lawyer; your old one appointed me before he left. no doubt he’s been sent by kabir.

V’s face: chutiya samajh rakha hai kya???? that’s not how this shit works.

v is like you’re here about my will and lmao riddhima’s all happy thinking oh vihaan has started my work already. SIS TILL NOW WHAT HAS HE DONE ACC TO YOUR PLAN? TELL ME ONE (1) THING THAT HE’S DONE LIKE YOU SAID.

yadda yadda yadda lawyer is like the property cannot be transferred for a few months. because Reasons. sure. sounds legit.

kabir is ecstatic. needs to learn to hide his MWAHAHAHAHAHA MERA CHAAL KAAM KAR GAYA FACE better if he wants to win at this game. he’s up against poker face all india/tellywood champion.

fb to kabir bribe/threatening lawyer. zero surprise.

V telling dadi idc about all this, meri asli daulat toh aap hai. lmao he really just does not give the other grandkids a chance to be #1 in dadi’s books.

ishani is pakka sure this is vansh bhai itselfffffffffff. and lmao angre’s suspicious face. they’re legit like:

V trying to negotiate salary increase (10% per month!!!!!!!!) and riddhima’s like bhakkkkkkk, sabzi mandi laga rakhi hai kya maine? yeh faltu ki bargaining nahi chalegi yahaan, jo karna hai karlo.

ishani’s back with bhai’s favvvvvvvvv chocolate cake and.... OH NO HE WAS SO FUCKING RUDE TO HERRRRRRRRRRRRR. riddhima ko sabak sikhaane ke liye ishani ko kyun sunaaaa rahe hoooo!?!?!?!!?

anyway riddhima tried to sametofy that raita by apologizing to ishani and.......... that went as well as expected.

kabir and aryan watching and lootofying mazze.

lmaooooo aryan tubelight ko situation samajh hi nahi aaya and kabir is just like

lmao have you seen a more pitying look????

angsty piano playing time.

lmaooooooooo she’s like “jahaan vansh banna tha, wahaan bann nahi paaye, yahaan yeh karke kya kya fayyda hai?” which......... troo. i really like this give-no-fucks version of riddhima who says what’s on her mind, instead of just doing lengthy internal monologues of stupidity. 

as,kjdlkasjd;lksjd;lkjsa;ldkjsa;lk she’s like vansh never yelled at anyone if it wasn’t a big deal. to which V is reacting just the way i am rn.......

‘lmao reallllllllly??? i don’t remember it like that.’

more lecture and yeah, i relate to him.

ishani over here crying to angre about bachpan se leke aaj tak vansh bhai ne kabhi nahi daanta. which again i’m like?????????? i have literally only seen V1.0 yelling at ishani for some bs or the other. literally never has he shown her any pyaar; the most he’s ever mellowed at her was when he gruffly told her sunny’s “truth” and made her understand that the wedding with angre would be good for her. nostalgia comes with some reallllll rose tinted glasses huh, ki everyone’s whitewashing asshole!vansh this way.

soft ship gently chugging along!

anyway angre has a plan and ishani like so help me god imma murder this fucker if he’s not vansh. there’s my girl!!!!!

this one is driving a hardddddddd bargain and wow, really going to town on that piano. riddhima doesn’t find it shady at allllllllllllllllll that he’s an equally good piano player as vansh huh? zerooooo thoughts about that.

“gunaah karne waale se bada gunehgaar hota hai gunaah sehne waala.” bhai waaah, isske victim complex ko mera salaam, ki bechaara is ONLY GETTING 5 CRORES, BOOOOOO HOOOOO.

“jabse tumse yeh deal kii haina, badi gandiiiii waali feeling aa rahi hai!” lmaoooooo yeah sureee, i can see how torturous it is, to be paid OBSCENELY to......... play yourself.

“mujhe teen guna chahiye. i want triple.”

BITCH WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF 3X SLKJDFSLKJFLDK 15 CRORES I KNOW TERA HI PAISA HAI BUT HADH HAI BHAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!?!? YOU SOUNDING A LOT LIKE THIS GUY:

oh boy ishani and angre have entered hearing about “triple”.

badi safaai se he said OH I MEANT IMMA BAKE A TRIPLE LAYER CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR YOU TO SAY SORRY.

softttttttttttttttttttt siblingssssssss. baaaaabies.

but hubs and wifey have come with some stress relief for bhai, lol.

lmao riddhima’s reactionnnnnnnnn.

lo ji yeh bhi aa gaya rang mein bhang daalne. wants to make things interesting via bet. some realllllll high stakes shit. good lord, don’t be gross and bet riddhima or something, maharabharat style.

aaaaaand it’s on!

no point screaming in your mind, riddhima. should have sent him to basketball camp before you recruited him.

"bohut mazaa aayega!!!!” lmaooooooo seeeeee, i told y’all. all this big baby legit wants is someone to playyy with himmmmm. have you ever seen him look THISSSSS HAPPY EVERRRRRR??????????

——————————————————————— 

07.12.20

lmao @ his purposely bad dribbling.

stressing Dollar Biwi out some more by saying he hasn’t even watched the game on tv.

unffffff. Chehra Appreciation Break. these go out to my girl @nawaazishein​ (she knows exaaaaaaaactly why.)

riddhima is like when you pick teams, pick me, and kabir is here to talk smack and say everyone’s gonna find outtttttt nowwww.

ok great, whole fam’s here. there’s a chalkboard set up for the score and everythinggggg. coz as per usual, no one else has nothing else to do. not even catch up on their podcasts or play some candy crush or nothing. they just wanna watch these two grownass men having a pissing contest.

V wins the toss but aryan’s bitch ass lies and says kabir won it. K selects riddhima first.

he knew that kabir’s dumb ass would do exactly that. besides, he’s seen riddhima play. she sucks ass at it. best if she brings down K’s team from the inside, lol.

V’s picks: useless!chacha, angre. K’s pick: aryan. rules established, ki after every 10 points, rival team se player will be out.

all i can think of rn is that everyone went and changed and riddhima’s gonna play in her sari and heels?!?!?!?!!!?!?

game faces on!

lol such bball captain and his gf head cheerleader vibes. CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh god are we supposed to sit and listen to chachi’s commentary?!?!!?!?

please note i’m literally only watching this ep to see the boys’ shirts move and expose chest and abs. 

riddhima gets the ball and is standing there in one place dribbling so that V can easily intercept and he’s just..........

............. imitating a frilled dragon or some shit?????

kabir just took the ball from her and scored.

first basket he made and he’s already telling vansh to give up. dude, hadh hoti hai overconfidence ki.

V like haar-jeet ka faisla end mein hota hai. i would say i’ve already won, getting to see this much sweaty neck and chest, mmmmhmmmmmm.

SCOREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! i mean, yeah V scored a point in the game or whateverrrrrrrr, BUT **I** GOT TO SEE SOME TUMMY WHEN HE JUMPED UP!!!!!

lol idk what the sassy finger wave was for, but i liked watching it.

THIS DUMBASS. SOMEONE PLEASE JUST PUT HER OUT OF HER MISERY.

aryan’s out.

AND I SCORE AGAIN!!!!! ouff, the things i have to resort to coz they don’t gimme tellywood men shirtless anymore.

useless!chacha’s out.

askljdlkjlkdjlsakjdlsakjdlsdjlaskjdlj bechaara kabir.

“you. out, please!”

sureeeeeely he will not pull the kkhh move in front of the whole fam??????/ will he?????????

look at his face, ki awwwwww, how cute that she’s trying.

riddhima is so stupid, if she scored all these points, why didn’t she pick V to leave the game instead of angre!?!?!?!!?!?

BITCH DID THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“isski har harkat vansh se kyun milti hai?????” idk sis, take a wiiiiiiiiiild guess. if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck........... MAYBE THE FUCKING 6 FOOT 2″ DUCK LOOMING IN FRONT OF YOU AND RUNNING HIS HANDS ALL OVER YOU IS YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND??????

the way he’s smiling is practically challenging her to figure it out.

she’s still like nope, not him. just a coincidence. while she mulls on that brain fart, imma stare at rrahul’s chest some more.

of course.

YOUR WHOLEASS FAMILY IS STANDING THERE WATCHING THIS OMG I’M DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENTTTTTTTT FUCKING TAKE IT TO YOUR ROOM YOU WEIRDOS

“yeh bonus hai. free of charge. just for your pretty face!”

this dumbass is also hung up ki how overnight he became good at playing basketball. abbe oh gobar ganesh why can’t you just accept it’s him?!!?!?!?

aryan’s like dude, it’s him. i’ve seen him play. this is him.

but there must be somethinggggggg unique about vansh’s style right????

ahaaaa, ambidextrous.

kabir legit threw something like that looks like a clown’s nose. i guess he just carries that around full time coz he’s a 🤡🤡🤡

blah blah we already knew this from the precap. i’m just fwding to when he plays with the left and wins.

lmao V’s faaaaaaaaace. when kabir finally gets his day of reckoning, vansh is really nottttttt gonna hold back.

never seen ppl THIS happy to see a left handed person, lol.

“vihaan vansh ki tarah left hand se khel sakta hai??????”

CUTESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmaoooooooooo his face is like jo toota nahi tha, woh bhi tod ke rakh degi.

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. asshole.

uh huh honeyyyyyyyyy. did the Vansh Move.

asking how you did all this when i never told you these facts about vansh?

“tum zaroorat se zyaada sochti ho, Sweetheart.”

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“kya aisa humne pehle kabhi nahi kiya? kya yeh pal humaari zindagi mein kabhi bhi nahi aaya, riddhima?” he said her name The Vansh Way, not The Vihaan Way!!!!!!!

“tum mere......”

“haan riddhima, yeh tumhara veham nahi hai. main vihaan nahi, vansh hoon. tumhara vansh.”

haaaaaaye bechaari. at this point i’m feeling quite bad for her. it’s not her fault she’s so stupid. ab hai toh hai. kya kar sakte hain. bedagarkkkkkk ho tera, vansh. may you die of blue balls for fucking with her simple mind this way.

i just did my homework reallllllllllly well, it seems. so my 3x payment is totally worth it. god i wish that pool was full, so that i could dunk his head into it and hold it there for a few minutes.

THIS ASSHOLE DOESN’T EVEN FEEL A LITTLE BIT BAD FOR WHAT HE’S DOING. LIKE, THODAAAA TOH HE SHOULD FEEL.

and then he turns around and looks at her like this!?!?!?!!?!?!? OUFFFF. FUCK YOU MANNNNNN.

blah blah talk about how now everyone must be convinced (except kabir) but yeah, i’m just here for The Face.

JFC SIS. AT THIS POINT YOU JUST NEED TO PULL A KHUSHI KUMARI GUPTA SINGH RAIZADA AND YANK A FEW HAIRS OUT FROM HIM AND ISHANI AND SEND IT FOR A DNA TEST.

shhhhhhhhhh, koi hai. yup. and not at all an excuse to get touchy touchy with wifey and give her some more mindfucky clues as to who you are.

someone’s watching us, we gotta sort out the property shit realllll quickkkkkkkkk.

he has An Idea, it seems. oh boy.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #442

“the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”

Would you ever sell your soul? No. Do you believe that something is going to happen in 2012? Welp, clearly not. I never believed it. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to! When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Uhhh not since I visited Sara, I think. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, for sure. Louder than I should listen to. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No. What’s the last song you heard? "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What are you most likely to do when you’re exhausted; take a nap, drink some coffee, or go for a run to get yourself pumped up again? Naps definitely win. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Mental illness, for sure. What is your favorite month of the year and why? October, bc aesthetic. What’s your least favorite animal? Probably wasps. They're mean fuckers that kill bees. What was your class song when you graduated? Some super shitty country song. Have you ever had to spend the night outside (not camping)? No. What`s the scariest living animal that you`ve petted? A tarantula, I'd say. She was a sweet rose hair that I literally did pet, which you absolutely should not do to tarantulas, but I knew nothing about them at the time. The urticating hairs on their abdomens cause serious itching, and I tell ya, that sure happened. So did you play old school Nintendo or Atari or Sega? If so which one? We had an old Atari for a long time. When/where did you meet your first love? In the hallway, during my sophomore year of high school. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Hm, what qualifies as "regularly," really? I don't like my sister's husband, who I see semi-regularly, but I don't really talk to him. Does your family eat any unique foods for Thanksgiving that aren’t the norm? If so, what are they? Nah, not that I can think of. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? Milk; I don't like it with water. I only eat the apples and cinnamon kind. Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video? If not, what was it of? It's a let's play. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? Yes, and I still love it. What was the last book you had to read for school? Did you enjoy it, or were you just trying to get through? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I loved it. Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery? If so, how much did they win? Would/have you ever play(ed) the lottery? No to both questions. I have a very addictive personality, so I don't really mess with dangerous things that might tempt that behavior. What band/celebrity/etc. do you know the most information about? Who would you like to learn more about? Markiplier, ha ha. As for who I'd like to know more about... hm. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Girt has. Who has made the biggest difference in your life? Jason. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Also Jason. -_- What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie is all you need to know. Even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. What’s yours? My favorite physical store is Hot Topic, but my favorite store overall is Rebel's Market, which I'm pretty sure is just an online source. Which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties? Don't you dare laugh, I prefer "granny panties" lmfao. They're what I'm comfortable in, okay. How many nail polishes do you have, if you were to take a guess? *I* have none. Idk about Mom, but I know not a lot. Are you on birth control? Do you use condoms? I use birth control to regulate my period and ease cramps. If I was sexually active though, both would be musts for me. When did you start your period? How did you react? Who did you tell first? When I got home from school sometime in middle school. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was EXTREMELY upset. Like, I cried, because I didn't feel like a kid anymore. My mom was the first to know. Have you ever had sex while on your period? If so, would you ever do it again? NO NO NO NO THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS LKASDFJ;AJW;LKERJA;WEJLRKQWLKE;JR. Which way do you swing (boys, girls, or both)? I'm bi. Or pan. I really don't know. Tell me ALL about your longest/most serious relationship. Are you still in that relationship? How about I don't, because doing that I'm sure will send me in a PTSD spiral. No, we're no longer together. Who is your ALL TIME best friend (don’t count your boyfriend, either, silly!)? Sara. I don't think I've been as close with any other best friend. Which one of your friends has the best singing voice? SARAAAAAAAAAAA. What shade are you in foundation or concealer? I don't have a clue. I don't wear either. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? "Were you completely naked." No, I shower with underwear on. I've showered with my little sister as well as my best friend as a kid. I've never shared a shower as an adult and don't want to. Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? No. Are you a cuddler or no? If I'm really into you, YUP. And if it's not hot. Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night? No. I miss it sometimes. Have you ever walked on a beach at night? Yes. It's beautiful. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Pretty easily, yeah. Would you marry someone you didn’t love if you were paid 10 thousand dollars? No. I just wouldn't be able to stomach doing that. I'm solely marrying for love. Have you had sex today? I haven't in many years. Do you still care about your last ex? Very very much! Do you own more then one bathing suit? Nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Yeah, but none I like. Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody. Who do you WANT to make up with? Jason. Megan. Do you get scared easily? Hm. It really depends on the situation. Have you seen UP? Never the full movie, actually. I need to. How many coats of mascara do you use? I use it so rarely that I barely know. Two, maybe? What’s your favorite bracelet? The one Sara gave me. I used to always wear it, but it's worn down with time and is too loose for me now, so it's just with my jewelry. What color hair does your mom have? It's naturally gray now, but she dyes it black. Favorite song to listen to when you are mad? "Headache" by Motionless In White does it. What restaurant would you want to work at? NONE. I ain't working with hungry people. I don't want to work with people - period. When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? Depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger or someone I barely know, odds are I'm just going to reply with "fine" or something like that. Were you honestly a good kid? Yes. Is anything wrong with your eyes? I have to wear glasses, so. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? No. What is your mom’s and dad’s favorite TV show? I don't really know for either. Mom watches loads of shows, and I don't live with Dad, so. I know he really likes The Big Bang Theory, though, which Mom also loves. Have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair? No, but ~supposedly~, Dad did with his now-wife. I don't know what the fuck is true between my parents, though. Do you think buying second hand clothes is gross? It depends on the type of clothing (ex., used underwear is a huge fucking no), as well as the state it's in. Does it gross you out when your parents kiss? They're divorced. That would be incredibly weird, uncomfortable, and impossible with how I know at least Mom feels towards Dad. Do you have a playlist made on YouTube? Yeah, multiple. Do you like dollar stores? I mean, sure? They have good deals occasionally and are a good option to stop for a quick snack or something. Mom doesn't actually *shop* in them, though. What’s the last thing you bought from one? I think a honeybun. Do you think it’s weird how babies are made? Well, yeah. Science can be crazy, though. Have you ever lost a friend over the opposite sex? No. Are you comfortable in a short skirt? I wouldn't be comfortable in ANY skirt. Do you and your family go on a vacation ever year? We essentially never do. Vacations cost money. We don't have money to spare. When you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them? No, because it's not like I know him personally, while I know her very deeply. Who was your most romantic moment with? Jason. Do you sweat easily? Like you wouldn't BELIEVE. A side effect of one (or even multiple) of my meds is hyperhidrosis, so I can sweat an ocean in two minutes, it seems. It's disgusting, and I am so self-conscious about it. What’s one memory you wish would just vanish? Just a specific moment with Jason that is particularly agonizing to recall. Are you in love with someone? No. Partying or watching a movie? Partying isn't my thing. I'd have more fun watching a movie with friends. What pisses you off the most? Child molesters/rapists, probably. Where do you want to be at a year from now? I just want a job by then, dude. I also hope I've lost a lot of weight. Do you like pickles? Only dill pickles. If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help? Honestly, no. I don't trust people. What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? We put our plastic bags into one big bag for later use. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yes. How often do you use Flickr? I don't. I only ever check my friend's for meerkat photos, ha ha. Share three nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. No, unless you want me to cry. Have you ever made any of your friends cry? Not deliberately of course, but yes. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? God no, I look high. Out of all the guys you know, who would you trust to not cheat on you? Girt. I know he never would, especially because HE'S been cheated on. How do you plan on disciplining your children? NOT by physical means, I can tell you that much. If I actually had kids, I'd teach them through (hopefully) primarily deeply talking things out. If need be, there'd be time out, grounding, things like that. I do NOT support methods like spanking your kid, so that's a big no. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? Yes; Canada. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Quinn, probably. What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? It's a tie between depression and anxiety. What is your cure for hiccups? NOTHING works for me. It's the worst. Did you ever do anything in class that annoyed other students? I mean, I don't think so. Have you used a Ouija board and had a freaky experience with it? I've never messed with one, and I don't want to. I don't know if I believe in their supernatural abilities or not, but I ain't fuckin around and finding out. Do you stick with a political party, or vote for who you like best? I pick based on their policies and morals, not necessarily their party. Do you know anyone who is an albino? No. Word search or crossword puzzle? Word searches. When you watch a game show, do you like to see people win or lose? Aw, who wants to see them lose? It's great to see people win and be so excited. Do you have a pair of fake redneck, vampire, etc. teeth? No. What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Do you get really mad when you lose a game? Not at all. I'm not very competitive, and games are about having fun. When was the last time you used a pay phone? I actually don't think I ever have. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Jason. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go to church as I'm not religious. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? Who the fuck cares. If they're comfortable and at least have a shirt on, let 'em. Most women have breasts, big whoop. Do you even like politics? God no. What’s it like at raves? Oh god, I'd never go. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? lol yes

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''self esteem'' by the offspring

[circlefeeling]

someone reached out to me after years and i felt so shocked and disturbed. merely “hi”. after years of zero contact because they had made my partner uncomfortable and they literally said to me “let’s just stop talking”. at the time i thought everyone was over-reacting and we would talk soon after everyone chilled out but i was missing a lot of key pieces and my naivete clouded my judgment. I really didn’t believe there were people out there that were willing to sabotage my relationship for the fuck of it. just cuz they liked them. and because it was convenient that someone was also feeling possessive of me and like i owed them more than i gave. then it was truly pounded into my head because a year ago it practically happened AGAIN. i lost the naivete. there are truly evil fucked people in the world that will attempt to ruin your relationship just so they can have a go. fuck off. i have so much contempt for you. ask my partner. i am the most forgiving, trusting, non-judgmental person. i will give you the benefit of the doubt a million times over. way more than i should because i really think people are good. if someone seriously truly tries me until i can’t defend them anymore they are so far beyond redemption. i can’t stress how much leeway i give people.  i don’t want to be friends with anyone who sneakily tweets things that are obviously targeted at someone i love or makes my partner feel uncomfortable especially with how possessive or passive-aggressive they acted. im grateful that we are no longer part of that friend group that had a couple of hopelessly childish people. like, i get it, i’m a boyfriend. no one likes me. i’m in the way of your crush with this cute sweet nice person. He doesn’t treat you like iw ould my queen, i could show u the world...  . it truly fucks my mind how anyone could be so cowardly as to try and sabotage my relationship and not even say anything to me. if they had actually said something to me like “ i have a crush on ur gf”  id be like ‘cool, yeah they’re great, crushes are normal :) and expected and we can talk about it” but you are such a fucking coward you can’t even say anything to me. even if we were in a call you would act like a total bitch because you couldn’t think of wht to say to me, the cognitive dissonance in your mind would shut your talkative whiny mouth because you realized i was a living breathing human being.. some of these people literally had kids mind you. they had crushes and literally thought about their multiple children less than they should.

 i got off track. the person who was acting so shitty to my gf just years later thinks its cool and fine to “hi” me and then try to fucking FACETIME ME????? what the fuck are you expecting.  are you drunk? are you missing validation? how do you expect me to react? it would be a different story if i was approached in a mature way. but it’s so obvious to me now, and it’s probably why i stopped talking to you so much. it wasn’t because i suddenly had a romantic interest. it had started before that.  i was growing and you were stagnating, i remember our conversations revolved around the same things. i was getting bored. you would tell me i’m such a good person but i couldn’t say the same about you. you said i’m you favorite person but i couldn’t say the same about you. you didn’t show qualites that i admire in people. i cared about you because we had grown close but that’s not enough to continue a relationship. you have to grow and evolve.  i don’t want to be friends with people that have an inability to grow. i don’t want to be friends with people who aren’t kind first and foremost. i don’t enjoy talking shit about people. i’m such a different person than i was 3-4 years ago. a way better person. have you changed? are you gonna treat my gf like shit? have you done any introspection at all? what the fuck do you expect?

im sorry if any of this doesn’t make sense, i threw it out of me, it’s this nasty  slimed thing these people left on me that im still, STILL dislodging from my brain that i need to lash out on the ground and spit on

[ohnobjyx]

you answer about celebrities being prudent with dating got me curious as western boys in bands, especially in the rock/alternative/rap scene, seem to have a reputation for dating/sleeping around a lot, do asian idols just not date/sleep around a lot or are they just better at hiding it because they are expected to?

Hi, anon! I’m slowly working through all the asks, but I remembered yours when I was watching this week hotpot episode from SDoC S3 (I’m wondering if I should write a post compiling all the candies, but I have so many asks pending).

To start with the answer, let’s put the disclaimer first: I don’t know celebrities, I’m a simple fan just like all of us. Whatever they do in their private life it’s their own thing, and I just simply try to place an objective view of their situation here.

Just a clarification: when we talk about idol or celebrity, I’m talking about those that are pretty successful in the industry (with their number of fans ranking in the millions). These are the tip of the iceberg in the industry however. The bulk of them have less fans, but are also less subjected to scrutiny by the public.

1. First of all they are prudent because it isn’t widely accepted as “good” that people date/sleep around a lot, especially among the older generations. However, many young people also feel that it’s unacceptable, and their opinions may vary from “they must be very promiscuous or they flicker a lot” to “if they haven’t been able to keep a relationship for long, there must be a problem with this person”.

2. We’ve already talked about the fact that celebrities are expected to uphold a clear and good moral example for their fans. They’ll be heavily criticized if they do things that aren’t socially approved, and it’ll impact negatively on their work prospects. So, I suppose that in the case any celebrity did date/sleep around, they’d have to be masters at hiding their “affairs”.

Let’s just imagine how a male idol’s gf fans (the type of fans that fantasize being their idol’s gf) would react if their idol publicly dated around with many girls. I don’t think that would end well.

3. Like I said at the beginning, I’m going to talk about those idols and celebrities that have more success in the industry.

So, when we talk about dating/sleeping around, there’s something that we can’t ignore: time.

I don’t know about the workload of the boy bands (especially, as you said, in the rock/alternative/rap scene) but the workload of an Asian idol is terrifying.

Let me show you a few examples:

a. Even before he debuted in the boy band, dd spent almost everyday hours dancing, no free weekends and barely vacations, since he was 13 and entered the company. As a child, he got myocarditis when he was learning to dance. As soon as he got discharged, he went back to dancing, and spent his summer vacations (just a month in China, btw, August) dancing from 1 pm to 9 pm everyday, to recover the lost ground (this really was a test for his love for dancing, but just imagine it: he could do 8 hours a day just because he liked it, how many hours would he pull when pressed by the company?)

b. To anyone unfamiliar with Asian culture, the Lunar New Year’s Eve is the most important celebration in Asian culture, a night when family gathers together to celebrate the arrival of the new year. Asian idols usually are full of work, even that same night, so they almost never spend the New Year’s Eve with their families. A famed actress (in her fifties), once said in a program: “my father died last year... and one of the things I regret the most is that I haven’t spent a single New Year’s Eve with him in the last 20 years”.

c. In 2015, a year after his debut with Uniq, dd posted on w/ibo: “Just another year that I can’t be with my parents on New Year’s Eve... just a little sad” (and from what I know, he hadn’t spent a single New Year’s Eve at home since his debut).

d. I don’t know if any of you are familiar with Running Man, another c-variety show that’s very popular in China (I recommended it, btw). They did a night-life special last year, and when the director announced the theme (that they’d start filming by 4 pm and continue through the night), the host were like “just that?”:

“Then like our usual jobs”, “I can stay awake longer than an owl”, “I’m also good at spending all-nighters”.

One of them actually said: it seems that they don’t really get what an actor’s job is... everyone say how many days and nights have you gone by without sleeping in you busiest times? Angelababy (that’s her stage name, yes): “When I was a model... I really spent  three days and three nights   without a single moment of sleep.” Li Chen: “Before I came here to film yesterday, I spent 4 days filming night scenes for my drama, so 4 nights without sleep.”

Song Yuqi: “If we count sleeping an hour a day... I went a full week without a full night of sleep. Yesterday was the longest I’ve been sleeping in the last month”.

Their attitude is what surprises me the most, to be honest... It’s like, “of course we would spend a whole night awake, no problem!”

e. One of the previous hosts from this show once said that from his daughter’s birth to her first birthday the amount of time he spent with her totalled to three months.

4. I actually remembered your ask yesterday when I was watching the hotpot episode because of this:

The hosts mentioned getting back at their hotels after filming at 6 am (I think they had been filming the episode during the day and most of the night, and wanted to film a part of the dance using the first daylight). Actually, dd was talking about ZYX making noise in his room practicing dance moves at 6 am (wtf dude, you just pulled an all-nighter, please sleep).

There was a stalker photo of dd taken at 3 am when dd was coming out of the filming site for SDoC S3, one of the other day (just imagine it: you’re leaving the workplace, after a hard day of work, and instead of getting into the car peacefully you have to escape from these people). 

This kind of workload is insane. When they aren’t filming, they are travelling to filming sites, filming tv shows episodes, filming commercials, doing interviews, photoshoots, practicing whatever show is coming up next, reading scripts, and a long list of things they do. Almost without a single moment to rest.

I remember an interview of another actor, in which he said that if he had a free moment in his schedule or a free day, he spent it sleeping and talking with his family.

I’m not saying that with this kind of schedule keeping a relationship is absolutely impossible, but it resembles greatly a long distance relationship, no matter where your home actually is. So dating around a lot is quite of... difficult? (at least in my opinion). And about sleeping around... maybe it’s just me, but if I had a free night with their workload... I’d pass out as soon as I was in my room, and that’s all the sleeping I can envision.

(Btw, this kind of work pace is a trend in China. I've been told that it’s actually common to have surgeons doing 36-hour shifts... here I was thinking that 24h shifts were outrageous).

5. However, it’s not impossible. It wasn’t so long ago that a scandal got out about an actor who was married and with an adult son AND still had time to keep a mistress.

I hope I haven’t rambled too much, anon, and that you find my answer useful!

Edit (thanks to @gremlin-02!): “you're missing the part about propaganda. chinese idols have to hold up "chinese culture/good morals/examples of good citizens" they are not gonna be promoting a play boy idol since it "corrupts" the family values and state system.”

You are absolutely right, and it’s also a point that supports the second part of this post. We tend to forget about it, but the national propaganda has shaped the country from its core. Without it, the country would be very different today. Not better or worse, just... different, since propaganda, for all its bad reputation, has played a large part in their economic growth and their position in the world economy today.

#ask #my post #I think I should create a tag for this kind of asks #c-culture #those who have questions (short or related to post) can leave a comment and I'll try to answer them when I can

[polaroislucas]

Hi 🙋‍♀️

I am still trying to comprehend today’s clips lol. 😂 They were definitely different than I expected. But in a sense I liked them.

Lola finally (& rightfully!) expressing how Tiff hurt her was soo good! And I liked that they did it before Tiff’s big reveal. As I expected, this automatically made her pitiful, and after that Lola should always have been the one who added insult to injury. And now she wasn’t; she just made her point.

About the response: I understand both Max (blame it on the testosterone! 🙃) and Jo (she already knows Tiff in a different way for three weeks; besides she’s the type of person to be open minded but welcome newcomers), but I feel both Bilal and Redouane gave themselves away a bit too cheaply (“Tiff you’re amazing, I’m in love! 🥰” really guys, really??? 😤). But I like the way they responded; it somehow feels a bit more authentic to being a teen. As I remember it, it’s a period where you’re very much secluded to yourself and your own microcosm. And 1 other thing: Lamif essentially only knows about the events of the bullying through Lola. They weren’t there and they didn’t see the impact (as much) that it had on Lola. Which doesn’t excuse them, but (considering the microcosm) makes it a little bit more understandable.

As for Maya, this is something I still don’t get. Because Maya experienced almost as much as the audience during s6 how bad it got for Lola. Bc if everything already happening in her life + how that was accelerated by being bullied. I genuinely don’t understand why she did not stand up Lola. Not why she allowed the champagne in front of her gf who just got out of rehab!!

On to the things I actually wanted to say:

I am low-key sad we didn’t see the aftermath of the afternoon clip. I just want to know what happened after the “group portrait” 📸 (gosh that was 😬)

What’s the deal with Skam🇫🇷 & WhatsApp chats?? Are they unable to create them as an image?? Bc I find it a bit weird that Tiff & Max texted over WhatsApp yesterday and are back to IG dms today. 🤔

Did Tiff have a talk with her dad during dinner (or at any point this week after Tiff broke the 🏺)?? About the photograph, or whether she might be open to seeing it? Or just about anything that happened before? Bc if my teen daughter randomly texted me in the middle of the night for a picture of the daughter she gave up for adoption... I would at the very least ask her whether she’s absolutely sure about this. And if it’s not a better idea to talk about it in the morning. Besides, if his wife finds out, all hell breaks loose!!

Well, that’s all my ramblings for this night! 😴 It’s a bit long, sorry! 🙈 Anyway, I ❤️ your input, thanks for that! 💐

Goodnight/ morning/ afternoon/ evening!! 🌛⭐️🌞🌨

Love,

cameranon. 📷

Hey.

- Lola had every right to be angry and she was right to express her feelings.

It was just her last sentence that was wrong 'Her life is cool' when she should know that everyone has struggles and problems in her life.

For Max, I think he reacted this way because he is close to Tiff and he got to know her and knew that her mean side of last year was just a facade. And he saw that she has really changed.

And for Jo as you said, she knows Tiff better than the others.

Redouane and Bilal were exaggerating, but it's mostly a way of speaking, but yes, maybe they should have been a little more discreet towards Lola.

For Maya, I didn't understand the reaction either. Maybe she just judged that it wasn't the right time for this argument and that Lola and Tiff should discuss among themselves in a frank and sincere discussion (which I hope will happen) instead of talking in front of everyone?

- I too would have liked another clip with LAMIFEX and Tiff but in any case it's just the beginning of the relationship between Tiff and LAMIFEX and a lot of nice things are waiting for us 🥰

- Concerning the WhatsApp/Instagram conversations. I stopped trying to understand how Skam France works. They always sucked at the social networking part, I learned to accept it lmao.

- I think Tiff and his dad, were talking since the clip on Sunday but avoiding the subject of adoption. In the clip where she is looking for the keys, the way her father talks, it is clear that there was no more tension between him and his daughter. I get the impression that her father really wants (maybe selfishly) to get to know tue baby and when Tiff asked him for a photo he jumped at the chance to do without asking his daughter if it was a good idea.

And sorry again, I missed the message among all the notifications 👋🏼

#skam france #ask

[cat-scarr]

Omg! I just watched the B10:AF ep “Veeedle, Vreedle” and I now see what your talking about with Julie! I mean, I always believed you, but now I am seeing it with my own eyes! I haven’t watched Ben 10 in some, just recently started to rewatch it (found you blog and I love it!), and I always remembered feeling weird about their (Ben & Julie) relationship. I didn’t remember this ep I rewatched it and I notices something. (1) when the Vreedles come to repo, Ship is on the offensive & starts morphing

into weapons. Julie tells Ship “I don’t want them to see how valuable you are” and instead calls Ben(who comes with in seconds!!) (2) when with Gwen and Kevin, they find out the court order is legit, Ben says “somebody can use him [Ship] as a weapon” Gwen: “AND you DON’T want Julie to LOSE her pet EITHER, right BEN?” Ben passively says he agrees and Julie calls him out on it not being sincere 

(3) Julie ask Gwen would Ben care if Ship was “just a dog, my [Julie] dog” (4) When Ben & Kevin comes back from court Julie is happy b/c Ben went “halfway across the galaxy” for her. But when Ben tells her that he feels, in light of all of this, that Julie is putting a lot of pressure on their relationship, Kevin tells him “it’s just a dog”. Like people Ship is not a dog! Ship is a sentient Mechamorph! You perceive it to act like a dog! Is there even dogs in space?!

Julie starts the episode saying that Ship is powerful, latter saying the same thing to Gwen, but once Ben says the exact same thing that she says, all of a sudden it’s wrong. I’m with Ben, that thing can kill you, your family, or anyone at any given time! Ship, though friendly, it’s not a toy or pet. Ship is like owning a gun; it’s cool and you can take it to the shooting range for “fun” BUT it doesn’t take away how deadly it is.

Gwen & Kevin might be so relaxed b/c they have seen and can handle things like this. But Julie hasn’t, she literally had to call Ben for help b/c she couldn’t protect herself! And what if he couldn’t answer his phone?! But lucky for Julie he comes on time to help, but after that Julie questions if Ben cares about ship. Girl, he cares about you and Ship on two different levels. Even if Ship was a dog, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t go out his way unless it was important.

Julie is important to Ben & Ship is important to Julie, therefore Ship is important to Ben. But again you can’t ignore how dangerous Ship is, or the potential to be. But the worst thing is Ben opened the conversation about what he feels in the relationship, but Julie looks offended and Kevin dismisses Ben. If anyone says they feel pressure in a relationship, THATS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT! Your partner should feel safe & comfortable with you not pressure.

His grievances are dismissed but when Julie got a problem, she’ll raise hell for Ben. And note that this is in the beginning of their relationship and latter Ben doesn’t start these types of conversations anymore, he is mostly reacting or apologizing (to my memory, still rewatching). And I’m surprise that Gwen, of all people, doesn’t have Ben’s back more often. In OS when Kai was first introduced, I remember Gwen sticking up for Ben when he was treated unfairly. Seeing this, I personally think Ben stayed in the relationship b/c he’s lonely & wants intimacy with someone. It used to be Grandpa Max & Gwen, but they now have lives and responsibilities outside of Ben. Often times people who are lonely overindulge in intimacy, i.e always wanting to be around people no matter how long & if it’s good or bad . Some who are quick to romantic relations often do it b/c it’s a quick way to companionship.

I’m not saying Ben doesn’t love Julie, I’m saying is that he emotionally needs Julie more that what she knows and what she can give him. It’s funny how in OV when Rook and Ben become friends, girls start throwing themselves at Ben but he doesn’t care. Julie is traveling and he doesn’t freak out, instead believes the best and let her do her thing. Why? B/c he has Rook, he has a friend that will never leave his side. He finally gets that companion & intimacy he wanted. 

Therefore, no longer NEEDING to hold onto or pursue romantic relations. Instead he’s free to get a gf when he wants one. It’s sad b/c Ben is a empathetic guy, he is so open hearted, kind, forgiving, lighthearted, & trustworthy but people see that as a flaw. Ben will fight for you however you need it, at any cost, but rarely is it returned. He can’t afford to feel bad, to be anything less than Ben 10/10. 

I personally think, within story, Ben deserved better romantic partners or should just stay single. The girls say they given more than they get, but they should know who they’re dating. He couldn’t stop being a hero if he tried, b/c it’s who he is! He’s not dumb, he’ll make “gf time”, but he also needs “me time”. He’ll do what they want, but to do what he wants they’re reluctant or wants something out of it *cough* the D *cough*. It seems like they all are in love with

—————————————————————-

Yes!! I’m so glad people are noticing!

First, the “dog” situation…SHIP IS NOT A DOG. Just because he is seemingly programmed to mimic an earth dog, doesn’t make him any less a weapon. It’s the equivalent of having a machine gun painted pink. Cute, but still deadly.

Ben is right to see Ship for what he is, and in doing so, it proves that he cares about Julie because he cares that she’s in possession of what could be highly dangerous alien weaponry.

Why does he need to go half way across the universe for her to see that??

Is he supposed to just agree with her delusion? Okay, “delusion” might be a little harsh, but he’s had so much experience with dangerous alien technology, even being able to become a Galvanic Mechamorph himself because of the potentially dangerous alien technology literally on his wrist, that he would know what he’s talking about. She doesn’t even know the half of it at this point!

Why does she not care that he’s looking out for her?? How does that make him a bad boyfriend? Just because he disagrees with her?

Who wouldn't feel under pressure when this is a problem very early into your relationship?

Part of me just thinks that they’re reading him wrong. Maybe it should be obvious that Ben saying “I think Ship could be used as a weapon” would translate to “I care about Julie’s safety”, but to her it seems to not have been so clear, unfortunately. 

Similarly, I hear a lot of people talk about how much of a problem Ben’s “attitude” is when debating things in relation to this pairing. Although this is probably more common when discussing Ultimate Alien. 

But honestly? If you don’t like someone’s attitude, why would you stay in a relationship with them?

Are relationships for changing your partner to suit your own preferences? And if their own opinions and perspectives don’t line up with yours, even if they’re right, does that make them a bad partner? 

Flaws are subjective. Clearly what these characters thought was ‘bad’ about Ben, we see the good in. 

He is not fundamentally a terrible boyfriend. 

It’s interesting that you say Ben chose to stay in the relationship due to feelings of loneliness and longing for intimacy that he was lacking. I have my own particular issues with Rook, but, for the most part, I’m willing to slightly overlook those flaws because I’m glad he was there for Ben when he needed someone during the beginning of Omniverse. But that really makes it clear why he stuck around.

I hate when people argue that he was neglectful and ignorant towards her, which is what made her leave. Or, more accurately, “ghost him.” 

I don’t recall anyone in “Rules of Engagement” ever definitively saying that it had been months between the last time Ben and Julie spoke. 

Ben is sixteen in both Ultimate Alien and Omniverse, apparently. If that is true, SO MUCH HAPPENS THAT YEAR! He gains fame, takes down his childhood hero (Captain Nemesis), deals with Ultimate Kevin and Aggregor, deals with the Forever Knights becoming increasingly more violent, defeats Vilgax and Dagon with Ascalon, loses his old team, becomes friends with Rook. deals with Khyber hunting him down, has old wounds ripped open and faces off Malware, gets kicked off the planet while the Incuseans enslave Earth before coming back to save everyone…and that’s not even the whole show! 

They had a falling out between Ben defeating Vilgax and Dagon, and the frog war. Compared to how many events can fit into a year of his life. that couldn’t have been an extremely long time. Two months, maximum. 

But more importantly, he must have been so overwhelmed. It’s so unfortunate that he feels like he can’t express that in fear of people not seeing him as the strong, unbreakable hero he is always expected to be. 

Overall, I definitely agree that he deserved better than what he got. And I could be petty and plug my own self insert oc who I ship with him (and do it right lol) but I’ll save it. Thank you for letting me know my words make a difference!

#ask #long post #wow this turned into an essay #but I shouldn't be surprised lol #anyway if you do care about my oc...check my deviantart ;3 #link in bio #benlie #ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #ben tennyson #julie yamamoto #benxjulie #essay files

[cherryonigiri]

Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (Matukawa’s hcs are below the cut - UPDATE TUMBLR IS NOT LETTING ME PUT THE CUT WHERE I WANT IT SO JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS IMPLIED/SLIGHT NSFW FOR THE LAST 2 CHARACTERS

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi 

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters 

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc. 

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend 

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him? 

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season 

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc. 

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr 

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole” 

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can 

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc. 

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time 

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him 

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you 

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time 

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show 

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit) 

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.” 

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you” 

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach 

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is 

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

general taglist: @bokutokoutaroo @sneezefiction

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu hcs #ushijima x reader #oikawa x reader #atsumu x reader #matsukawa x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #oikawa tooru #miya atsumu #matsukawa issei #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #miya atsumu x reader #matsukawa issei x reader #aoba johsai #seijoh #shiratorizawa #inarizaki #spicy haikyuu