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#idk im hella tired rn
synthshenanigans · 1 month
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I simultaneously kinda like this but also kinda hate it so no idea when nor if I'll finish it
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I love the idea that while Heart digs the hole for Mind, only to fall in himself; Mind makes fun of him for it only to be digging himself a hole just as deep.
Alt versions that are kinda easier to see things
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also funny will wood reference
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starfall-calamity · 1 month
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Not posting on main but im crying
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Mfer just ">: ]c" i can't
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omegaversereloaded · 1 month
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What happened to internet music is that now the internet has gone hella mainstream and people are more worried about making marketable music that can be use in tiktoks than to make genuine, earnest and unapologetic music that is truly special to them
I guess i wasnt aware of this because i dont listen to a ton of new music these days :0 im also not on tiktok so idk what's popular on there though i have seen songs i love blow up on youtube recently only to find out it's because theyre a tiktok sound? but god i fucking miss unwashed high as fuck grimes and weird fucking music that lonely little girls like me enjoyed. I miss when popular music had instruments like old r&b piano and i miss cheesy ass black dudes who would sing about buying their girl flowers man i kinda hate trap these days.
Im extremely tired as i ate cake for dinner and passed out watching fallout speedruns on youtube and i have a LOT of misic feelings i dont have the energy to elaborate on rn but i miss old internet music more than anything. Like it's still out there, i know i have soundcloud but man it's not the same.... shit feels kinda barren rn especially since it's harder for creatives to put their shit out there because of the internet becoming a corpo wasteland
ALSO not to sound like a lib but when a real FREAK is out here making music these days i feel like a bunch of 20 year olds dig thru their twt trying to cancel them for old ass shit...... they wont let em cook anymore it's over. Imagine if DMX got popular nowadays instead of decades ago 😭
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hella1975 · 4 months
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Hi hella!!!
I feel like i always start these off or end them by saying that these things are going to be incomprehensible in some way, mainly bc i have trouble translating whats going on in my mind into written words so i really dont know how much of my list thingies make sense to you but this one is especially probably going to not make much sense. (also bc i send them a lot when im either very tired or not sober, but i am sober and wide awake rn so this might be a different kind of incomprehensible)
I found one of my old drafts for an ask from around a year ago and it was a follow up response to the last chapter you posted at the time, so im not sure how its going to sound without the context of that specific chapter, but i also mentioned in one of my other asks that i add stuff in last minute and that ask i added a shit ton of stuff so i dont have any of that pretyped out so im going by memory.  But im sending it again bc i havent seen you answer it 
(please do not interpret this as ‘why didnt you answer my ask >:/’ or me rushing you to answer asks or anything like that, but like I said its been a year so im assuming tumblr ate it.  If not and you just havent cleaned out your ask box and you find the original, congratulations you’ll know what i originally said.  Bc idk how accurate this will be)
SO
Theres two different ways that you seem to write metaphors (idk if thats what theyre called im not caught up on my literary terminology)
 (im scrolling through your blog rn looking for my other asks and tumblr really did you dirty in your asks system like i started scrolling and the third one down was from 2021 and im fighting for my life trying to find my tag (thank you for my tag btw its very useful to me))
Anywho, most of your metaphors ( to me) can be split into two categories.  Theres the simple ones and the complex ones.  Now this might seem obvious but im going to explain to you how these have different effects on my brain.  
An example of the ‘simple’ ones is  
““If Nanook’s tone had a note of seriousness, then Zuko’s was the entire orchestra.”” (idk what chapter this is from its been a while)
You have a lot of these kinds of whatever the haick kind of literary technique this is (is this a metaphor i’ve been trying to google it for like ½ an hour and i cant figure it out) BUT these type of things that are simple and easy to process is one of my favorite things about the way you write.  I think this is a very common technique but the way you do it to me is just a lot more unique than the ways ive seen it done before.  Its extremely fluent with the voice of the characters and brings a perfect kind of vibe to the ‘conversation’ (or story, text, whatever) and it paints the picture of what your trying to say perfectly.  I also really like how these types of things arent ever in Zukos pov a lot (sometimes it is, but not nearly as much, I’ve noticed) and its not in the more serious like revelations that you drop these in.  Like I said, it adds to the voice of the characters, bc of the contrast of Zuko constantly having revelations and dramatic archs and stuff, and the other characters just in general being a lot more calm.  Its like when youre listening to a song and you have the lyrics and the like ‘main’ music behind the lyrics, but then when you listen to the song a lot you notice the smaller, like backup music that adds a lot to the song and makes it a lot more enjoyable than if it was just the lyrics and the louder more up front music.  
Then in contrast you have the bigger ‘metaphors’ 
An example of this is ‘You curse in words already invented’ 
THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE FIC.  
OF ANY FIC OR BOOK EVER READ
AND THIS IS WHY
When I tell you I could not figure out what this meant for months I am AWFUL with stuff like this and interpreting it my english teachers hate me bc of it.  Id have the question ‘why were the curtains blue’ and my answer would be ‘bc the people who decorated the room like blue maybe theyre interior designers and it goes with the room 😊 and thats so hot of them bc i love blue too’  
But even thought i couldnt figure it out it stayed in my head and i probably thought about it once a day (i mean this literally, i think about that part all the time) and i cant remember the context for that or anything but i do remember that i knew it was a wonderful phrase.  
I’ve mentioned in my other asks how whenever im reading anything at all that you’ve written (whether its tams, or toab, or in the tags of something even if its like 10 words), everything you type comes out so fluidly like a formula or a color wheel or however i put it last time i talked about this.  And this is on the prodigious end of the spectrum of this.  
But phrases like that are another part of the fic, theyre like the lyrics of the song.  Like the phrases that gets all the attention and gets put in fanart and that gets quoted in comment sections because they deserve that recognition and you deserve that recognition and are just a reminder of how incredibly talented you are.  
I mean that in the most sincere way that i know how to express.  
I am constantly in awe of you and your writing style, and i really do think of you as one of the most talented writers of everything ive ever read.  
And something else worth mentioning is that it isnt just your ao3 that portrays that.  Like if I were to just read your ao3 I’d be like ‘oh wow this person is an amazing writer’ But your tumblr persona plays into it a lot more (In my opinion).  Because then you see like more ‘backround’ stuff on ao3.  And more of your system (im not articulating this in the way i mean it very well) and you get privy to the fact that you’re not a 30 year old with a masters in english and that you’ve never had any formal education on writing.  I vaguely remember you talking about a story about a sailor (??? i might be misremembering that) that you wrote when you were a child and thinking ‘oh wow so she’s always been like that’.  And its stuff like that that you dont get on ao3 that kind of reaffirms how incredible of a writer you are.  
And this (to me) makes you a really easy person to admire.  (ik i touched on this in a different ask but i dont remember if it was one of my list asks or not) but as someone who probably isnt going to ever be able to get an education around writing, it kind of reassures me that i dont need that to be great at it.  
(i kind of feel like a lot of the stuff in this ask is too like ‘simple’ or obvious to be given a lot of weight, but this whole thing is about the kinds of things you do that brings me personally joy and the metaphors are one of them so)
Also on an off note when i was looking through your asks to try to find my tag, I noticed that i send you a heavy percentage of your anonymous asks (mainly without my alias) and I thought that was funny.  But also i hope it doesnt come across as obsessive or weird, I swear i do that to a lot of people on here, I’m just a very social person.  .😂
Also Im in your tbos server (lurking in the shadows) and someone pointed out that whenever you do the reaction emojis you always do the white ones, and thats going on the official ‘my favorite things about hella’ list because that was genuinely one of the funniest things ive seen. 
Also the ‘anytime you type its very fluid (im too lazy to scroll up and see how i put it rn) also carrys on to discord.  I think that i could probably block out the user names and be able to figure out that its you talking every time, you have a very distinct way of talking.  
Also i wanted to mention that every time you answer these i read them again and i want to say like 1/3 of what i sasy, i have no recollection of. And i never have any idea what im talking about. so i think thats funny.
LIST ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN BAWLING MY EYES OUT HELLO BABY WELCOME BACK FROM WAR IVE MISSED YOU IM JUST HERE LIKE THIS RN
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i23kazu · 1 year
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♡ the comfort you give should be returned
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summary: being an older sibling is tiring, and sometimes all you need is some of the comfort you give.
warnings: general family pain, a bit of gaslighting (?) idk abt that one
a/n: im not feeling the best rn bc #oldersiblingissues! except that the older sibling is me and im the one whos having issues. am i procrastinating on homework because i need to satiate my hunger for big sibling fics? maybe. shh. i need it and so do my other older sibling people. i gotchu <3 its so so so hard. and yes this is a vent fic
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"go away! i hate you, you're not mom!" your younger brother yelled bitterly. you irritating, stuck up brat, you thought.
"i'm not mom! that's why i care about you like this!" you grew increasingly frustrated. all this over a curfew, seriously? dude, all you said was to come back by 10. that was hella gracious already! when you were his age, your curfew was 5pm sharp. anything later and you could say goodbye to that phone your parents so kindly let you have.
sighing in frustration, you closed the door gently, lest you alert your mother that you were in a mood – no, no; that wouldn't do. no door slamming from you, no showing any signs of displeasure or disappointment towards anyone unless you wanted someone to reprimand you for "scaring your younger siblings" and "taking out your anger on people who love you and don't deserve this".
it's been like that for years. 
always being resented by your gaggle of siblings for not being that fun, wild-spirited older sibling that they always saw in the movies.
always getting scolded by your parents for not keeping your siblings in check when in reality, they refused to listen to you.
always needing to pick yourself up with the world came crashing down on your shoulders and there was no one to comfort you when you cried.
no crying in front of your siblings unless you wanted to be teased and judged for being weak when you were supposed to be the glue of the family.
always needing to be the family therapist – parents included, but mostly the receiving side of your care.
years of this. you were sick of it to say the least – anyone would be. years of constantly feeling invalidated and of your feelings put lower than your younger siblings would do that to anyone. i take care of everyone, you thought upsettingly. when will someone take care of me? 
you wanted someone to be able to sit down with you – to talk you through the days when everything felt like too much and you were balancing the emotions of everyone in your household.
you wanted someone whom you could make mistakes with freely. you wanted someone to comfort you, tell you when to stop, when to push, when to apologise. enough about all that bullshit from your end, you wanted to hear it from someone who cared for you unconditionally. not because of a title they held in their hand. someone who chose to stick by you so they could guide you.
those who you took care of in your life took you for granted, because they didn't know how much you wanted the same care you gave.
resent me all you want. i'm just being the person i wish was there for me.
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strangeswift · 1 year
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The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)
This list is gonna be hella incomplete but my excuse is I am very sick and my brain is literally cooking itself <3 if i forgot u I still love u I promise. Also these got aggressive which i also blame on my high fever
@elekinetic is the best in the world, the only screenwriter ever. Read their scripts in their pinned post or i will kill you. Also she has edits that are fucking amazing, watch the brutal edit or else you suck. And. Check out her playlists too. And you guys don't even appreciate her enough because she's the best and sometimes i want to grab you all by your faces and say APPRECIATE ELLA MORE! Like. Her scripts are actually insane. insane. INSANE. Anyway whatever read them now.
@eightieslesbian makes the best gifsets in the world and she is literally everything to me so if you are NOT following her then you and i have a problem which can only be resolved by you following her. She has a link to her work in her description so check it out and reblog them all ok.
@finalgirlbyers sierra loveqbrl madcleradin finalgirlbyers is the blog ever and you need to follow her immediately or else you will have bad luck for 7 years. Every take is based, every post a slay.
@astrobei is the fanfic writer of all time ever and you should read not all the prayers immediately because it is my favorite fanfiction of all time and i am not exaggerating. It is emotionally devastating but you should read it anyway and if u don't just know that i am mentally kicking your shins so hard SO hard
@andiwriteordie hmmm the best? The best. Her fics are just 💖💘💞❤️ and she is literally so smart, comes up with the best ideas. The CEO of Taylor Swift x Byler. If you thought it was me, you're wrong. It's her. But I'm like.. idk the CFO or maybe her assistant
@quinnick best friend moot. Check him out on ao3 and at @nickquin for art things. And follow him. He is fun, the nicest sweetest person ever, has great takes. Follow him or else i hate u
@ratt-duffer CHECK OUT RATT'S FUCKING ANALYSES AND EDITS THEY ARE SO GOOD im tired of u people you all suck, ratt deserves more appreciation
@chiquitablanquita is an amazing writer and amazing person. Check her out on AO3, Things I Can't Say is soo fucking amazing and she just put out the first chapter of her Spidey Will fic!!
I probably forgot many people plus i am lazy and tired rn ok <3 byeee
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dreamliners · 7 months
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announcement/rant:
im tired of having to fade away from fandoms (one direction, harry styles, mcu, star wars and now stranger things?!)
nope its already bad enough that some of the st actors are wilding online but now eddie fans are fighting within ourselves and for what??? a book??? as if ya'll havent read/written better or more interesting.
you dont have like it or even respect it as canon, whatever. but to tear down someone else for liking it is bullshit. i hate to say it but some of ya'll need to be reminded. THIS IS ALL FICTION. guess what eddie isnt real, hawkins isnt real. it not real folks.
but the message is. eddie was an outcast, he looked out for the people left out or rejected. yet somehow you guys are doing to people what he is against. he isnt a self appointed "freak" thats the label he was given by people who bullied him. the same bullying you guys inflict on writers and other people in this fandom. its bullshit.
we all enjoy different aspects, au's and tropes thats fanfiction. but to diss a writer who writes for your fav, who loves them just as much is so fuckin dumb and wrong. if you dont like their style, then find another author. its not that hard. idk when in the internet timeline people became boomers who complain whenever they dont get what they want immediately. like dude no one will take you seriously when you act like an entitled brat.
also if you dont write then you dont know how long the process really is. even when theres hella inspo and drive it still takes a while. respect writers. we just had a full on writers strike about this shit. i dont wanna see anons anymore either. you wanna spew out your lame ass take, do it off anon since you think you're entitled to that shit.
thats one more thing. you got the nerve to shit talk, have the same amount of balls to do it off anon. you wanna shit talk a writer say it with your whole chest, aint no reason you wanna hide if you really feel that way about it.
imma get real disrespectful rn. if you say shit on anon because you dont wanna be bullied or have "anxiety" imma personally call you a punk ass bitch. because nah i've seen too many anons get comfortable saying dumb shit but not having the nerve to say that shit with their blog name showing. and tbh i will reblog laughing at you for not have the gall to talk your shit without hiding.
i had thought i wouldnt have to become a dickhead in a fandom space again, but here we are. if i see you disrespect my mutuals, or mutuals of my mutuals i will come for your ass anon or not. because respectfully eddie would have too. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤍
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g1gglebug · 9 months
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What context did downpour add for the big things in the background of shoreline I much have missed that
the big spike leviathan lookin things i think idk im like hella tired rn so im not sure what i was talking abt
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Bestie what’s taking over your mind rn
fuckingidk
im watching backstairs at the white house and i'm watching James Whitmore's one man show of TR so like also TR but I'm having a hard time focusing and concentrating. At first I cared but now, an hour 26 mins in (it's an hour 59 so like 2 hours), it's almost exhausting, which does mean he did a perfect job being TR so that's like... good. But. Also not really.
I need to finish this 4k chapter. I barely got 300 words out of 24 hours
idk tired bored and unable to focus on 99% of everything. focus is horrible in general. and. waiting on like. an email. back. i dont remember the last 9 minutes im gonna be honest with you
im also covered in hella flea bites. like. 30-40. i accidentally made some of them bleed so-
brain is also thinking of TMFU rn but specifically Napoleon Solo and i feel like it has smth to do with my 7-8am episode-watching
tbh hbu
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birb-boyo · 1 year
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Ngl shade, im still WILDLY surprised that you follow me
Like…i was dead ass intimidated by you (and still kinda am?) when you first followed me but also hella hyped. I think i followed you first and then the next thing i knew you were following me back?? I was v surprised and giddy
Sorry if this is weird, im hella tired and wanted to say this cuz….idk my brain aint working rn
Nighty night shade
This made me so giddy Idk why
But Trippy, I fawn over a man two times my age?!?!?? Am I really intimidating?!?!?!
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cjrights · 2 months
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oh my god GUYS i just have to share this story (it’s pretty short but i’m gonna somehow turn it super long cause i’m bad at telling stories) BUT BASICALLY i went with my friend today to this event right and for context we know each other bc we’ve went to the same schools our entire lives but she moved to a diff hs. anyways so we’re at this event and like some of her friends from her new school came up to her and just started hanging out with her and tbh most of them were chill like they were super nice to me and stuff even tho we’re like different (it was like a cultural event) but there was this one girl who saw me and was like trying to talk to me in “chinese” but in a mocking way and i was like oooh yea no…and the entire time we were there she kept like shoving me and like i could tell like she secretly didn’t like me so i was like yea i’m gonna just stay kinda away from her cause ummm what. ANYWAYS fast forward like a couple hours we go to this inside place to sit down cause the event is like outside and it was so hot but basically we were just talking and somehow her stepmom was brought up and she was talking sm shit about her so we were all curious why she hated her sm so she told us the story… (my memory is horrible so i don’t even remember much but just know it had all of our like jaws dropped the entire time)(this isn’t rlly a story ngl just bits i remember from it that is like crazy) so basically for context she lives with her mom and she hadn’t seen her dad in 6 years. so basically uhhh her step mom is basically like psychotic and here’s the stuff she did that i remember
- hacked the girls instagram acc and ss all her chats and POSTED IT.
- took pictures of the mom and photoshopped it hella so she would look “ugly” and posted it on the girls PUBLIC instagram
there’s a lot of other stuff that i do not remember but the best part is the fact that the step mom is the dads niece so her step mom is her cousin😧
honestly after she told like the whole story i was like more empathetic towards her cause at first i was like bro wtf did her parents not teach her manners or smth cause she was being SO rude and i was like oh🙂 but like now i feel rlly bad bc like she like grew up in a bad environment and didn’t rlly have anyone to teach her from right and wrong and yea idk just rlly sad
honestly i don’t even think anyone will make the effort to even read this and idk what the point of telling it was but it can be the daily lesson to always be kind bc u never know what others are going through😊😊😊
NOOOO THANK YOU FOR THIS STORY
that’s so insane. im very very lucky that i was raised to have manners and not act like that
unfortunately not everyone is :(
also im very tired so my (self diagnosed) dyslexia is really getting to me rn
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girlwithfish · 2 months
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I actually feel hella sick rn idk if my body is just tired I didn't get adequate sleep even tho I did sleep decently like 8-10 hrs (tho it wasn't the best quality sleep bc iwas in a new place I've never slept before) or bc im feeling sick from the piercings LOL
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mejomonster · 3 years
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Today I might try to watch a show with subs
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wasteland-lover · 3 years
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.
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raybies69 · 3 years
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ko-eko-ev-go-ms · 4 years
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*starts panicking about reading social cues and what your supposed to do in response*
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