#idk just feeling sad and missing her (him?)

[sonego]

.

#actually the reason why i said goodnight and was ready to go to bed but i still hadn't is that i got sad abt my cat #and i couldn't move from the couch for half an hour i was petrified by grief #i still can't believe i will never cuddle with him again. like ever ever #it's horrible to even think about for 2 seconds let alone spend half an hour doing that #i feel mynheart so heavy in my chest like there's a massive rock on it #doesn't certainly help that yday my doctor gave me an appointment for next year and it'll be on what'd be my grandma's bday #which i guess is good cause that means i won't forget about it #but it's also making me think of her and especially lately i feel so.. idk. sad i guess #i think of her and feel like a void a hole in my chest #bc i forgot so much. so so much. it's been so long #i just idk grief has been consuming me lately #sounds dramatic what can i say i feel like everything is missing nothing makes sense i am not a person life is a waiting room i can't leave #i'm in bed now listening to eden hoping i'll fall asleep soon and sleep well

[arcadianico]

i just finished q’s vod from yesterday and honestly? i feel vindicated in my belief that q’s attraction to wilbur is based more around his romanticisation of relationships (and his grief for tilín, silent but ever present) than love

#again don’t get me wrong i think he’s attracted to wilbur but babygirl ia not in love with him #honestly this stream more than anything is making me read him as arospec #his little speech/breakdown where he cries and asks why he doesn’t feel anything #his comment about how maybe he needs to relearn what love means like sophia #comparing himself to a character who has expressed her inability to experience human emotions in the way that humans do #but who wants to learn anyway #i think people reading it as sadness solely about wilbur not actually being there are missing how much of his sadness is due to internal #feelings #he’s upset because he feels broken. because he feels like getting married should have fixed him #because he idealised the idea of marriage as soemthing that would make things better #ans when it didn’t and he felt as numb as ever he started crying #and he went and tried to seek out someone who would be able to understand him. someone who has expressed similar experiences: sophia #idk i just dont think qwilbur as a person actually plays a massive role in q’s emotions #it’s about his projections and his idealised notions crumbling around him #and leaving him alone again #maybe i’m projecting but i also find this dynamic more interesting than just q is sad because wilbur wasn’t actually there #quackity #qsmp

[yioh]

sometimes it makes me really annoyed how fast the male characters in genshin become favoured by fans lmfao it’s so unfair 😭

#male character has a sad past: fans make intricate soulful art and fanfics abt them for years #female character has sad past: fans are like awwwwww:( and then forget abt them #like i can GUARANTEE u kaveh will have content created for him even months and months after his release #shenhe content after her story quest??? crickets. silence. #i would even argue that shenhe’s story was WAAAAAAAY sadder and heartbreaking but 🙄 #idk it’s just so unfair that ppl aren’t as interested in women like ik this has been a pattern for YEARS and likely will never change but #it fills me w so much rage #women are always better they’re always more interesting GRRRRR #i feel like the reason i hate kaveh so much is because how unfairly he is loved by fans compared to other characters 😭 #everytime i look at him i am simply reminded of colourism and another missed chance for a sickass design #i’ll literally never be over how much sumeru broke my heart lol it was actually so gutting 😭👍 i didn’t realise the colourism was gonna be #THAT bad and i didnt realise the fans were THAT colourist racist AND stupid #truly will never forget the ‘they’re in the forest where there’s no sun so they’re all white as fuck’ argument #can u believe that was real #anyways . anyways #ik everyone is sick of me talking abt this LOL it just rly annoys me because i liked this game sm before 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 and the fans r #everywhere so i get spammed w content of characters i Do Not Want To See 😭

[earl-grey-crow]

nash! is back! and just a little bit cranky!

#as is his right. I’ve just never seen him angry #when carter said they’d take his case for free something inside me died that was a painful blow 😭 #also is it just me or does nash look different?? #I am so sad fitzroy lost his opportunity and I am so happy fitzroy lost his opportunity I don’t want him to leave #annoyed how eliza still lacks consideration and doesn’t take responsibility and idk I feel like william’s too good for her #oh good they got their double fee #the way my heart sank when I knew eliza missed dinner with william #hnnnnnng #miss scarlet and the duke spoilers #earl crow ramblings

[opens-up-4-nobody]

You don't understand how unhinged I feel trying to construct an ending for Bleach that I personally would enjoy while knowing Bleach does not deserve my time and also not remembering enough to actually make anything coherent. And yet here I am.

#god. no one gives a fuck abt bleaching. i am screaming into the void. y cant i put this energy into being productive #i just want there to be themes and a satisfying ending. and ending that is sad and yet happy #i just think. for me. ichigo kurosaki died on the night rukia pierced him with her zanpakto. oh fuck i cant spell. fucking strap in #i kno he didnt technically die according to the rules of the universe but i think as soon as ichigos soul left his body. that body became #a corpse. so when he goes back into it its not suitible to live in anymore and he only starts to feel that with the fullbring arc #i think when rukia jumpstarted his powers she lit the fuse of a bomb and becoming a visor allowed him to chanel his resentment #bc he does resent. ichigo is an emotional person. he felt emense guilt when his mothet died bc he felt he couldnt protect her bc he was #being raised to protect. the boy has a complex and its kinda fuckrd up and its 1000% isshins fault. so when thr opportunity comes for #ichigo to sacrifice himself for his family he does and he literally and metaphorically dies. his life from that point on is overtaken by #death. so what do we do with ichigo after everything is said and done bc he cant go back to being human he cant be a living corpse. he has #to go to the soul society. bc i like to imagine everything hes done to his soul. his twisted cosmically weird special boy soul. hes like a #bomb. its unstable and they need to teach him to control it so he doesnt tear a hole in reality and let thr hollows pour in. so its safer #if that happens in thr soul society. and rukia lil miss ice princess can teach him to do that. i would also make it weird with god stuff but #i never read the blood war stuff so i dont kno enough abt the gods. also i would make rukia more at odds with everyone who was gonna let her #fucking die and who overlooked her bc she should b held with more reguard for her fighting. but misogyny 😒 so then what do we do with #ichigo in thr soul society? i cant stand the idea of him becoming part of the institution. i cant. i think he should be rogue. rebell. idk #train to be strong and battle agaisnt the 13 court guard squad who r clearly going to try to control him as he tries to control himself. #send my boy to therapy so he can control his reatsu? is the the word? idk. maybe he should go to that dead dog district and look for kids #with spiritual pressure. he needs to feel useful. maybe id just give him weird god powers. i am an ichigo special boy apologist #thats as far forward as i can think. ichigo has to b dead. has to learn to control his power before he can go fight. rukia can teach him #he rebells against the institution. encourages rukia to go apeshit bc fuck everyone. and then idk. he keeps trying to save ppl forever #or he dies and destroys the universe. a big ball of resentment and bad feels and secrets upon secrets upon secrets. god y am i thinking #abt this so much. ive got bullshit to deal with. anyway. idk i just like ichigo a lot and i think thr ending to bleach is th worst forever #bleach ramblings

[holydramon]

tried watching live action avatar and only got through 2 episodes before the badness wasn’t even funny anymore and it was just sad

#katara is literally written exactly like her ember island players counterpart and it’s so frustrating #she literally is like. just there to look sad and talk about hope. because they filed down her character and took all her anger out. #hell they made it so the waterbending scroll is something grangran gives her instead of something she steals which is???? why???? #i feel really bad for the aang actor cause he is just a kid and clearly trying his best but #he is. not good. unfortunately. #they also very clearly miss the point of aang’s character and him running away from issues like. he no longer intentionally runs away??? #what the heck??? #idk just. so much to say. part of it is due to the fact the original is fresh in my mind cause I just rewatched it but. man just not good. #dramon thoughts

[perenlop]

idea for wc rewrite again……… what if ravenpaw became a housecat for firestar’s old housefolk

#and smudge is his new friend. and its a bookend- rusty left and now theres no chance of going back to his housefolk #its weird how firepaw never ever considers how his housefolk would feel when he left. iirc we dont even know how many there are #is it a family? a group of friends? one person? like it doesnt matter ig #but like…. ‘’oh i may miss my housefolk’’ or ‘’i wonder if theyll go looking for me or be lonely without me’’ #never even cross rustys mind in the entire book. its just ‘’hm i may not get fed thatd suck but whatever mice are better anyways’’ #it sorta reeks of ‘’heh… cats dont care about their owners…. they HATE them actually they’re insignificant. cats are incapable of loving us’ #as a kid i always felt bad for rusty when he left and bad for his owners especially like can you imagine how freaked out they were #so. idk in my rewrite firepaw would be in the clans but he’d worry about his housefolk and feel guilty for leaving #when he meets smudge during the one hunting assessment he sees his owners drive up in their car looking sad and wonders if they looked for h #him #and when ravenpaw needs to escape. firepaw encourages him to go to his housefolk. because he knows theyre safe #it wasnt the life for him but maybe its the life ravenpaw needs #and raven also becomes besties with princess btw like. hes like a nice uncle to her kittens #echoed voice

[emiliosandozsequence]

my mom being here makes me want to kill myself, and it's not her fault.

#i miss her so much when she's not here and i can't talk to her on the phone because then my father is there i don't want to deal with him #but also i have a lot of expectations from her to behave a certain way and i can tell she thinks she has the same with me and idk #it makes me really sad but also really frustrated bc it didn't have to be this way but it is bc of how she raised me #and there's a lot of things she's done that i just can't forgive her for no matter how hard i try #but......it makes me sad. really really sad because i also don't think she deserves to feel as sad or as guilty as she does #and it's my fault she feels that way #i'm not exaggerating when i say i'm crying as i'm writing this... #emilio.txt

[train-inthedistance]

.

#why have I been on the brink of tears over the american for the last two days i lit just woke up last night and started crying…… #haven’t seen him in 2 1/2 months now …honesly i rly miss him i miss him sm but idk i think this was all triggered by my friend telling me #she ran into him at uni bc he was having lunch with a friend of her’s and she said hello and he looked away etc/was very uncomfortable when #she said hi anyways and idk on one hand very infantile behavior. on the other hand proof dad the entire thing and me breaking it off DID #affect him after all? maybe not maybe it’s only uncomfortable for him bc he’s not in control of the narrative w my friends and he’s a #control freak but like. idk im very close to messaging him (i wont do that obv) but like idk. idk i miss him so much if he said sorry now #and told me he’d try and that he’s ready i…i think id take him back. which I wouldn’t have 2 months ago idk #kinda hope I’ll run into him at this thing next week… chances are that he’s gonna be very ..distanced and insincere abt what happened #between us bc he cannot handle being honest abt emotions and istg if he like ignores me like he tried to ignore my friend or sth im gonna #be shattered into 2 million pieces so there’s that idek #feeling extremely sad today idk i should eat sth and drink some water :/ #me #the american

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #finished all my criminology homework! now i got sunday off to chill and maybe draw and also me and my sibs might go to chinatown? but idk #because dad's bbq-ing which might change some plans. anyway! eating dinner now :> its not my favorite but it is okay <3 #high priority art to-dos: commission | daily eca (for tomorrow and the project) | art for *** and ******* | annual birthday redraw #general arts: mrd thing for monday | solepsi art | things for the ace iterations | the cases ref #self indulgence: drawtectives (i wanna draw more eugenes) | agent | fun ace things #my queue is winding down so that might go quiet in a bit <3 there's about a dozen things left <3 we'll see i suppose <3 #project sekai updates: cannot believe i have to wait 6 more events until the next wxs event i just want a cool emu :'0 #my strongest team is all four stars except for a three star emu; i just want a 4 star for her <3 also!! nicori smile survey for that event! #and also its probably the one where tsukasa makes a child cry by yelling about how hes gonna be a cool star hgkjh #but theres been so many events that just! arent wxs! it's been 13 events since the last one to the next one we get u-u <33 i miss them;;; #but we get some mmj ones so at least theres that <3 mmj's my assigned group and wxs's my favorite group so i have an attachment to both <3 #but yeah im gonna save up gems for a cool emu card <3 theres the valentines day one too? AND ALSO. TSUKASA AS A KNIGHT? #FOR THE WHITE DAY EVENT!! HE LOOKS AESTHETIC AS HEL I LOVE KNIGHTS!!! <3 so maybe i'll try for those!! #im also writing a drawtectives fic and recently i drew some aces from one of the old aus <3 i miss him i love my little guy <33 #im downloading all my old twitter archives. i have a lot of memories there i need to keep or else i'll be so sad <3 trying my best <33 #i have school on monday as usual <3 can you believe my birthdays coming up this month? it feels like ive been 21 forever hgjkh <3 #i think thats all the updates for now; im sleepy <33 goodnight. thank you for reading; ily <33

[realboutfatalfury]

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay <- full of fighting games

#but not really full! can still play just taking a break bc that's important 👍 #tried almost everyone in strive yay (i say everyone bc i did not play zato. i know i'll hate it. i always hate it) #the usual cast is alright you know how they are #forgot they simplified i-no's inputs thank god. #DISAPPOINTED THEY TOOK OUT LEO'S REKKA. GOOOOOO TO HELL #not really but. why. why would you do this. i liked his rekka. it's fun. #if 236 s isn't going to follow up to anything else without rc then why. whyyy #tch whatever i'm over it. #goldlewis is kind of fun hehe but i'm not maining for the safeness of my stick o7 #jack-o changed sooooo much omg. i instinctively did 2k > c.s > 5s > 5h > 4d lol 😭 #sooooo sad that k normals don't cancel to s normals. except in the air. it makes me sooooo upset but i've already complained earlier. #uh ooh playing axl in strive feels great! i don't usually like playing him even i do might like playing him #<- plays whip and amane on occasion #uuuh may is fine 👍 love the um fireball (?) they gave her #testament is soooooooooo awesome i love you testament #giovanna and nago are great! i knew i'd like playing both of them #baiken is swag i miss her kabari follow-ups so much......tether is fun tho hehe #and they gave them a gun! swag #brisket is so so cool 👍 #happy chaos.................... he's fine. as an elphelt guy idk if i'll play him. i don't quite get how he works yet. but when i will... #thinking about it makes me scared. #gonna play with my sister later heeeeeheeee #not playing online yet bc i'm still getting used to how gatlings work also the throw button is now dust which will fuck me up i think #just gotta think strive is a whole other game rather than a guilty gear bc it really does feel like that 😭 #ah also still need to get used to wallbreaks.

[killmebythebeach]

So was anyone gonna tell me that s5 is so unbelievably sad or was I supposed to find that out myself.

#like obviously i knew itd be sad but im two episodes in and ive heard tim for the first time in 40 eps and sasha for 120 #and gerry. ze boi. i didnt even realize it was him till the comics. why does he read like a teen protag in a ghost hunting story. #the leitner jumpscare to. sir. half the people in the institute would kill you on sight please go back to the tunnels. #elias being weird at jons birthday for no reason. like. i swear he wasnt that strange before the pipe murder dropping stuff for no reason? #'i like to keep an EYE on these things' sir with all due respect (none) shut the fuck up?! #idk why but tim and sasha talking like that just makes me so sad. of course its understandable for them to be frustrated #but also its not jons fault jonah chose him cuz he was traumatized by a spider book :( id be angry if i was sasha though #its also funny cuz i thought tim/sasha was a pyre fandom thing. no. tim literally calls it a 'will they wont they'. hes like a sitcom #gurtrude recording that tape to sasha basically lmaoooo #and i saw someone point this out in the comments but. gertrude keeping the place messy might have killed people. #not having easy access to information that could have saved them. such as her tape. ough #one thing i missed about tim in s3 is the charm. of course he was angry at. everything but it was heartbreaking to see tim change #so the tapes really made me just yearn for the like. two times tim was there in s1. #also the fact sasha knew about tims brother. and martins application. and that tim knew too. #i never really understood the fandom 'expert hacker' sasha but i think i get it now #i cant even remember if she hacked anything in s1. feels like so long ago even though i havent even been listening for 2 months #on that note martin and jon are going over to kill elias woo! #martin: hey this house is evil we should butn it #jon: nah. theres a lot of evil #holy fuck i forgot how stupid these characters can be sometimes. like even if you think it wont wotk just try? hello? #sasha calling gertrude a bitch is giving me life. yeah. she sure was. idc what she did she put micheal in the distortion #but im still so just. distraught by how somber the tone is. even with the s1 crew goofing around its just so. oof. #the funny quippy s1 crew cutting off to jon trembling alone in a corner does wonders for the tone #martin really went: i found the tea lets get this bread #king shit honestly. go get that bread and kill elias and stop the apocolypse or somethung. idk the goal of the season yet #like s1 focused on prentiss. 2 on stranger. 3 on the unknowing and elias. 4 on extinction and peter. im excited to see what 5 is #i dont even think weve met her but gertrude mentioning agnes. mwah. love you baby. doing great. shouldve gotten a coffeshop au. #sigh. statement ends #the magnus archives spoilers #the magnus archives

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

ok so my bestie is calling me mumbai aise hi cause we were planning for months like jaise hi my exams are over we'll do it and like since it's so close to christmas i was kinda hoping we would celebrate it together but uh i talked to her on the phone and she said u go on 24th cause i have plans with (boyfriend) on christmas

#idk how to feel about this #i vote: sad #also embarrassed #but idk it's normal i guess cause they're like so obsessed with each other totally still in the honeymoon phase even tho its been 5 months #and she was also telling me abt how they went to snow world with their friend and then snuck out to the igloo to make out #which is like.. really cute #but then their friend interrupted and they were annoyed cause they don't get to spend any alone time together #which!!!!! idk i don't want to go and be the third wheel #lowkey wanna say 'my parents said no' and bail on the whole trip but idk i feel like my therapy self help books would disapprove 😭 #but like what do i even say? let's be together on the 25th bc i miss u and i want to celebrate festivals with u? sounds clingy #ugh #irl friendships are impossible most times im being not enough and other times im being too much like there is no winning #i literally do not know how to give her and love her less im protecting my heart so well all i do is call her once in 3-4 days to talk for #like 1 hour like idk is this not the bare minimum #or maybe im just misreading her tone? she has even said u should come live with me for ur internship no need to pay rent it'll be so cool #like the bold type #but that was before she started dating him #aaaaaaah idk idk idk #mes

[droidmom]

i still rly like cher and her ex but seeing darcia's interactions with her and knowing she just... has the book of the moon chilling in her desk drawer..... and probably feels like she's finally met someone who could understand that part of her...... even tho he did like knock her out and steal her daughter........... who was kind of his daughter first............ hmmmmmmmmm

#wolf's rain tag #thinking thots #her ex can come along for the ride tho they'd rly need him as a third to avoid going dick deep into unreality/gothic nonsense #give him some Insecurity abt not matching up and still being in the non-believer side of their work #and thinking he needs to save cher from darcia's influence until his own understanding kicks in #but also cher realizing there are things she misses abt him that she'd never get from darcia bc darcia is /darcia/ #oh wait what abt darcia's wife i feel like cher and his wife would be so fun #i know she's only ever been in a coma for the episodes ive seen but like . let her in too #they're just like..... weird nobles..... like the weird straight ppl on a dating app lookin for a unicorn #but the unicorn also comes with a sad detective man at her heels #anyway! custody battle over cheza let's go #((also god the book of the moon on the desk that has the stupid tie hubb gave her stickin out of the drawer? #something something caught between two worlds idK but it works))

[gerudospiriit]

[Despite it all, I beat RE2 (Leon's story anyway)! Yay me! I had to basically replay the lab portion because I got to the second to last boss fight and was a hit away from death with no healing items (I didn't know there was one IN the area but I don't think that would have been enough anyway). Very fun game that I finally got around to playing. Definitely liked the challenge even if it was painful at times xD]

#[ ☀ ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵇᵉʸᵒⁿᵈ ;; ᵒᵒᶜ ] #re2 spoilers #resident evil 2 spoilers #idk if that's necessary since the game is old but #just in case #also i didn't feel one bit sad for ada #first because i know she survives even before she gives you the rocket launcher (guessing that was her) #since i've watch play throughs of RE4 #but also she took advantage of this poor puppy dog leon #and that's just no bueno #dumbass kinda deserves it for being so gullible #and still being like boohoo can't believe i miss her weeeeeh #but she was PLAYING HIM #even when she lowered her gun instead of shooting him #she was playing 5D chess #thinking of how to get the stuff from him another way #probably make out with him on the way back an yoink it out his pocket #because he's a SIMP

[makkie-is-screaming]

I miss my best friend :(

#She used to be my safe person #but now we rarely talk #and texting/calling her gives me anxiety #I hate that I’m like this #Seriously my favorite person and I’ve known her since I was 5 #but I don’t really feel like I know her anymore #and it’s really fucking with me #like I found my old Pinterest which follows her and in her bio there’s he/him as pronouns #so now I’m scared that I’m misgendering them ? #and like I’ve made myself someone they feel unsafe to be out to #which makes me even sadder bc they’re the person who helped me figure out that I was aroace and helped me through that #idk just feeling sad and missing her (him?)