#idk why I’m so surprised

[gods-favorite-autistic]

The curse of no one around me irl knowing or caring about Greek mythology or the odyssey is that no one understands why I’m annoyed about people complaining that one of the songs in the epic ocean saga isn’t the ‘get in the water’ because that’s not how the fucking odyssey works!!!!!

#one of the lines!!! is ‘when your homes so close and you’ve reached your coast’ and ‘all of Ithaca will die!’ he’s not even close to home!!! #I know it’s a cool song but it doesn’t come until the almost end!!! #HE LITERALLY JUST DEFEATED POLYPHEMUS IT TAKES HIM 10 YEARS JUST TO GET BACK #‘oh I thought get in the water was gonna be in this’ WHY?!?!? #he still has to meet calypso #fight circe #fight Scylla #fight charybdis #and meet the other gods #literally one Google search will show you that it’s in the second to last saga!!! #madurday night live #epic the musical #epic ocean saga #also!!!! the creator literally showed a list of the songs in the saga and played clips of the songs in the saga!!! #it’s mainly tiktok commenters complaining so idk why I’m surprised

[shibaraki]

brittany broski saying that being asked to ‘address the situation in the middle east’ is ‘dystopian’ and ‘like a black mirror episode’ is insane to me like I’m sorry self-proclaimed feminist and activist, you can bawl at the barbie movie but caring about the living breathing women and girls in palestine is complete ABSURDITY?

#you know what’s dystopian……… watching countless people die on our phones while we lie in bed and our governments do nothing #no actually they actively fund the whole thing #but sure okay #the video was so resentful too. just gross #idk why I’m mad this isn’t the least bit surprising

[crybaby-bkg]

potential angst fic where the world just….collapses in on itself right before your very eyes. the sky is deep red in color, clouds gone, night doesn’t fall behind the horizon of your trees anymore. land is splitting into millions of pieces, people are falling into the ocean by the thousands. there’s chaos everywhere, and you’re sure that this is the official end of the world.

only thing is—you can’t die yet. not because you haven’t fulfilled your life’s destiny or whatever bullshit, no. you refuse to die a virgin. but luckily, so does your childhood best friend Bakugou.

the earth is still shifting and rocking when you both agree to it, sure that by tomorrow the house shattering storms will have moved to your region, that you’ll be dead by sunrise. so you spend the entire night encased in his arms, tangled in his bed sheets. you wish you had more time to try more positions, but you tick off most on your bucket list.

he’s surprisingly shy the whole time, a little huffy when he tries to stick it in and misses your hole because he’s so nervous, and also, there’s another earthquake happening at this very moment. he kisses you gentle, and breaths hotly against your neck whenever you squeeze down on him. it’s not enough time in the remainder of the world to make fun of him for being a one pump chump, and you can only hook your leg around his waist to make him keep going so you can experience your first orgasm with another person.

and the night is heavenly, blissful, full of sweet moans and tender touches. it all goes well, and you expect to wake up in some afterlife by the time ‘night’ is over.

….only thing is; you wake up the next day. in bed. beside Bakugou who looks at you just as confusedly.

“I thought we were supposed to be dead by now?” He asks you, turning on your tv that hasn’t worked since the birds fell out of the sky. but miraculously—the tv works. and it’s broadcasting extremely important news, a headline that makes you swallow.

apocalypse seemingly over: or are we being fooled by an angry god?

“What the fuck are we gonna do now?” You can hear Bakugou mutter, but you’re still stuck on the paler sky that’s starting to look more blue and the one bird on the branch outside your window and the people who’ve stopped wielding axes and started picking up shattered pieces of their homes. but you’re still even more so stuck on the fact that you just fucked your childhood best friend in his too big and expensive bed and lost your virginity for nothing. what the fuck are you gonna do now?

#new fic idea that will take me eight months to write lol leave me ALONE #but I love n cherish this idea sm #so much chaos for days #everyone’s convinced they’re gonna die #and then boom #nothing lmfao #imagine the awkwardness that ensues after #do you start a relationship with him? do you pretend it never happened? become fwb’s??? #so many options and so many feelings surface #okay I’m done rambling lol #I keep getting these bouts of nausea and I hate it #someone put me down pls I just wanna feel NORMAL #also I started my mythology course today and I actually really like it #idk why I’m surprised Ive always love mythology lol #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #bakugou treats! 🍬

[honnelander]

Taz's old tumblr!

@tazsurfboards

NO FREAKING WAYYYYYY I’M-

#MY FACE #IM ON BREAK AT WORK AND I LITERALLY SAID NO WAY YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING MEE #the STRONG urge to follow it 😭😭😭 #but it’s inactive and then that means he’d ‘know’ my blog exisits…. #UMMM BRB going to go delete that Taz oneshot I made holy shit #I’m so embarrassed for NO reason 🥲 #idk why I’m surprised he had tumblr when he’s the same age as me #like how cute- we were all on tumblr together at the same time #but for VERY different reasons 😂 #asks

[theloveinc]

barbarian!bakugo + buying apples. you’ll notice I didn’t put any work into this making it more … fantasy-like. And that’s bc… I still couldn’t figure out how😞

(warning: misogyny, you are described as a maiden / dress wearing, you have a pa, world building sucks, bakugo … doesn’t talk)

-

Being the only maiden on one of barbarian!Bakugo’s cross country journeys. I’m not sure yet how or why you’re there, but I’d say he’s traveling and one of his fellow clansmen took you as a prize, or maybe you just hitched a ride on their cart yourself.

But they stop in a small village one day, parking their horses at the edge of a town square of cobblestone and brick, merchant booths surrounding the small shops: of butchers and farmers and fishermen and traders, all rowdy and beaming as they show off their wares.

The men split up (the one with green hair in a leather vest declaring he needs a blacksmith, the lanky one with dark bangs in the direction of new snare wire), though the bulky blonde one (the one in thick furs and pelts who’s never really spoken to you) stays around, picking at the shiny, pink apples of a booth quite close to where the cart you sit on in boredom is parked.

“Five gold for a sack, sir” the man behind the creaky, wooden stand says. He’s stout, thin-haired and wrinkly, all his years in the sun selling fruit showing proudly on his tanned skin. He gestures to the wide array of fruits, each like a piece of candy he wants to show off.

Bakugo (you think his name his, or rather, that’s how he was introduced to you by the redhead with unnaturally sharp teeth, biggest of the group) glances up, frown thin and tense and blood red eyes narrowed. His shoulders shift, the muscles of his exposed stomach rippling as he breathes, the smooth skin of his forehead pinching as if he’s calculating a sale just as he would any other battle or raid.

The sign next to both the men clearly states that apples are two gold a sack. Pears are three, plums are one. “But I’ll give you a deal for four gold,” the man continues.

The blonde ponders, inspecting the apples diligently as if they could be poison, or a waste of a trade. His eyes narrow slightly, lips pursing, and you realize, in his reaching for coin, the intuition he so usually takes pride in (saving the men once from a brutal hound attack, and you, too, another time when a swamp dweller caught the hem of your trousers) is not there… and that they don’t use the same alphabet. Maybe he can’t even… read.

“For two gold,” you call.

Both parties look to you. One set of eyes in an suspicious glare, the other in a tart and angry bitterness. The merchant’s leathery face sinks into a melted frown, his fists clenching as your own hand shields your eyes from the bright sun and hides a protective squint.

“Didn’t your pa ever tell you not to meddle in grown men’s business?” he half-shouts back, the laugh in his voice now tangled with a snarl, downright and plain rude.

“The sign says two,” swinging off your seat, you smooth down your simple frock as you point to the wooden board stained with charcoal that’s hung up next to him. “One sack of apples for two gold.”

Bakugo’s eyebrows raise for the briefest of seconds, then fall in another glare as his hand drops from where he holds his coin (in small, canvas bag tied to his belt with thin, leather cord. It sags against his hip, his pants dipping and uncovering a v-line that descends further into a region you’ve only seen once; at a bathing river in the hills, the bare curve and marks of your own hips exposed—)

“Don’t know where you picked up letters, missy,” the merchant scoffs. “Reading is men’s work.”

You approach the barbarian’s side, his head (messy with hair) tilted towards you as he watches on in silence. From the pocket of your dress, you take out two gold of your own and flick them on the table before you.

“My pa taught me how.”

Then you take Bakugo’s hand (thick and rough and hard to hold) in one of yours and march right back to the horses and cart. Bag of sweet, pink apples in the other.

#bakugou x reader #Bakugo #I am so lazy #I just wanted to post this lmfao sorry if it’s sucks #will fix any mistakes soon! #I’ve just been caught up in this weird fantasy of like…. being captured by some barbarians and surprising them with your sophistication #and saving them from some weird sh*t #I think it would surprise Barbarry Bakugo if u like . could read and he couldn’t #but this is like. a bad representation of that LOL #idk why I’m having so much trouble with the fantasy set up #gusss well just have to deal #dunno .. I have no concept of anything #anyway this was kind of a shout out to my own dad #whos an alc*holic n*mbskull hillbilly b*astard dropout but wanted me to be educated and cultured more than anything growing up #so weird #i must be so tired to be telling u all this… or it’s the lexapro #either way ENJOY SORRY #I miss and love u all #caitie post #gen

[talesfromthebandgeekmafia]

Burrow’s End is gonna fucking RUIN me the roleplay this season the inter-party dynamics are fucking UNPARALLELED

#every character every relationship is so goddamn real like oh my god #snuck it’s way into being a contender for one of my all time favorite dimension 20 seasons it’s so good #which shocker of course it’s DMed by Aabria Iyengar idk why I’m surprised #dimension 20 #burrow's end

[softestepilogue]

y’all keep saying how y’all hope ed becomes redeemable and like who tf cares he did anything wrong lmao. pushing Lucius overboard? hilarious. stranding the crew? hysterical. chopping off iffy’s toes? comedic af. y’all always so worried about a character being redeemable or morally right and it’s exhausting. that’s why modern books are what they are now. boring and lame af. ed is morally gray. he’s always been morally gray. he don’t like killin but he likes maimin and he has anger issues. and he’s hilarious when he does all of it.

#ed teach #ofmd #our flag means death #for the love of god just have fun #y’all always worried about a character being redeemable so y’all can morally like them #it’s so weird cause they’re fictional #my fave characters are the ones who morally gray #idc what anyone says they are 100% more interesting when written well #if you like ed just like him lol #you don’t need to jump through hoops to like him just do it #idk how y’all managed to turn a comedy show into something so serious but y’all did it #this is tumblr tho so idk why i’m so surprised #this is why modern books are unbearable to read #cause millennials started publishing and are too pc to write interesting characters #also stede is literally trying to be morally gray #tumblr once again just sucking the fun out of everything #y’all are like that one friend who shows up while y’all are having fun and they correct someone to be pc and just always ruins the vibe #also PS i mean morally gray characters that are well written and not the morally gray characters that are white men y’all want to fuck #there is a HUGE difference #op

[lezbianz]

there’s a voluntary seminar thing that just started at my college that’s all about human rights + genocide abuses but they’re only talking about ukraine rn. which is so bizarre and cowardly especially considering the fact that we’ve had multiple sizable demonstrations for palestine on campus ??

#my post #the pres. of our university also sent out the most vile pro israel email when the first strikes happened #so idk #why i’m surprised

[criticalbeauregard]

in another (honestly impressive) feat of stupidity, the twitch chat has somehow figured out how to make ashton’s actions last episode a way to hate on marisha??

#idk why I’m ever surprised #it’s always so dead dove ‘idk what I expected’ #critical role #cr spoilers #marisha ray #ashton greymoore #cr discourse #c3e77 #c3e78 #twitch chat

[peculiaritybending]

I’m just a charmac girl in a macdennis world 💔

#ppl on twitter REALLY hate charmac like god I was so shocked it’s just so strange??? I didn’t know ppl felt so strongly about this shit #I thought we were all of the same mindset that we’re here for the comedy and social commentary and the ships are a very fun added bonus I #didn’t know ppl were saying that I’d you don’t ship macd//ennis you’re stupid like holy shit??? it’s not that deep. genuinely baffled like #why do you care?? also ppl saying that charlie & mac are like brothers is very funny to me that has never once crossed my mind idk that #was surprising too #anyway idrc like I said it’s not that deep and I’m not like pissed about it or calling anyone out or anything just BAFFLED like I didn’t #I just didn’t expect it anyway ignore my rambling enjoy my one sentence post #iasp #charmac

[fishybehavior]

Does anyone else find it odd that the manager of the department of reassignment was arresting a fugitive nindroid??

I think someone was trying to show their hand

Or jay used to be field agent and got dragged into this (maybe he owed agents Allen and/or Underwood a favor)

#ninjago #dragons rising #dragons rising s2 #dragons rising spoilers #dragons rising s2 spoilers #I think we might get his story of him being a good agent who breaks the rules #he’s obviously smart entering from the back where he catches bonzel by surprise #but why is he there in the field when he’s a manager if a different department??? #I’m really curious about the rest of s2 #cause there is so much happening idk if we will get more administration stuff until rash arch is complete

[bilestat]

.

#I wish I could stop caring as easily as her #but unfortunately my feelings are just going to constantly get hurt over and over forever #when it’s obvious she doesn’t value our friendship as much as I do #I’ve learned to stop texting beyond holidays for the most part because it hurts getting disappointed when I don’t get answers #but it really fucking sucks she saw my insta story about my birthday but couldn’t bother saying anything to me #good to know where we stand #but again: idk why I’m surprised when she has not told me directly when she: #moved to my state from the opposite coast #set a wedding date and also got married #and moved a half an hour away from me #had to find that all out from the internet #so why would my birthday matter? lmao I’m an idiot #like at least she’s remembered in past years and does answer on holidays but #she hasn’t texted me first beyond my birthday last year in like two years #anyway wish I didn’t feel like crying rn #personal #to be deleted #and I feel conceited for caring but I know it’s not #and it extra sucks to still be hurt about another ex best friend that ghosted me years ago that shares my birthday so the sadness is just #inevitable #especially when combined with the fact that my dad’s birthday is in five days #so I’m just kinda sad around and on my birthday every year

[mattodore]

okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while

xoxo <3

their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.

matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.

​i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.

as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #nsft #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like #normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously #......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk #my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information #like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest #and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up #theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him #and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well. #good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors #matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past... #but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare' #but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's #domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit #matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does #for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker #like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that. #….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭 #whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare

[wellexcuusemee]

My embarrassing drunk self sent my lovely girlfriend a vid on snapchat of me burping and being and this morning she sends a vid back being like “😳 I really enjoyed that :)” damn. Get you a girl like this

#I’ll have to do that more often now. sober hehe #still in shock she finds it hot idk why I’m just so surprised to meet somebody irl #with that kink #female burps #burping #burp kink

[jaybaumans]

Can we talk about this…..

#red letter media #like idk why I’m so surprised since they’ve had other celebs but they really got Justin.. #iconic #jay bauman #rlm #mike stoklasa #rich evans #rick and morty