#if it sticks and I find my balance YAY!

[madnesswithasideofsanity]

I’m not dead, just trying to regrow the garden in my heart

#this has been your local nia #are the meds working or am I just not in school and not pmsing #who knows (not my psych and sure as hell not me) #honestly? I just wanna see what else they’re willing to throw in the mix #if it sticks and I find my balance YAY! #otherwise… well. good luck Charlie #Lexapro + Wellbutrin + Adderall + Intuniv + all the fuckin vitamins and minerals my body refuses to absorb

[aspoonofsugar]

hey! Good day :) here to ask a question!! I was wondering about your process for analysis, character analysis, theme analysis- do you just write or are there specific things you look for? I suppose I’m curious if you have an idea/general gist of what you’re doing or steps you take to do your breakdowns. I’m trying to do something similar out of interest and your works are simply fascinating to read. I look up to your writing a lot!

hello!! Can I ask how you started analysing shows, how you went about it? I’m learning literary analysis and trying to do the same for hunter x hunter but I find it infinitely harder to analyse shows. Especially since I most notably consider diction in literary analysis lol

Hi!

Thank you for your nice words anon(s) and yay! I love meta-asks <3<3<3

So, it depends on the meta. In general, I try to focus on a specific topic, which can be:

a character (arc + foiling between characters)

a theme

the use of a specific motif, when it comes to a character or a theme

These are my three favourite kinds of analyses, but there are other types, as well. For example, some people are really into plot theories/predictions. Others prefer to focus on characters from a psychological viewpoint. Some other writers like to use philosophical lens or to compare different works. It really depends on your preference.

My preference is mostly for thematic analyses. This means that my character metas too tend to use a thematic lens. So...

WHAT IS THE THEME?

In short, the theme of a story is both:

the topic the story is exploring

the moral of the story, aka a phrase which summarizes its message

Stories explores topics through characters and plot, while the way the conflict is solved tells us the moral.

Some examples:

RWBY's main topic is humanity in both its weakness and strength and its moral is that victory is in a simple soul

Madoka's main topic is wishes and its moral is that it is worth to want things and to fight for them, even if it is painful

HXH is strange structurally, but its main topic is self-search, with its moral being that a person should not focus on the goal, but enjoy the journey

All of these messages and ideas aren't just things stated in dialogues (even if someone saying the theme helps). They emerge from the story itself.

RWBY's main conflict is about a destroyed world (remnant) surviving the anger of an evil witch (Salem). If humans let hate divide them, they lose. If they unite, they win. The main thematic question is then... can humans make the right choice? And the answer is that they can, as long as they remain simple souls (Ruby, but also Pyrrha at Beacon, Blake in Managerie, Yang in Mistral, Weiss with her family, JNR when they tag along and Penny in Atlas). The main message is that several people making the right choice leads to change. And that is humanity. This is why the characters keep being asked to give up their idealism and to embrace a more utilitarian way of doing things. And this is why every time they refuse and stick to their idealism. The conflict itself keeps testing their resolution.

Madoka's power system works through wishes, so the girls' powers and their backstories are all defined by their wishes and by how they relate to them. Madoka doesn't know what she wants. Homura's wish turns into an obsession. Mami makes a wish too early and thinks only about herself. Kyouko and Sayaka make a wish for someone else and have opposite reactions to their wishes ending poorly. Finally, it is revealed the girls' wishes are literally the force that keeps the world at balance. So, the plot, character arcs, conflict and worldbuilding are all about wishes.

HXH is made up of several arcs and each arc has its own theme. That said, the overall structure conveys the main theme. Gon's objective is to find Ging, but he keeps taking detours and getting engulfed in unrelated conflicts. However, the moment he meets Ging he realizes it is not his father who defines him, but rather it is all the people he met in his journey and his own experiences. Basically, HXH's strange structure conveys the main theme.

So, the theme (both topic and moral) should emerge by the characters, the worldbuilding, the conflict and sometimes even by the structure itself. In order to find it, one should start with the topic and ask themselves "What does the story really talk about?". The answer to this question will let you understand the theme as topic. The second step is to see how the story explores it.

DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW ON THE TOPIC

There are different ways a story can explore a topic. Still, the best stories have different perspectives clash with each other. Very often these different points of view are embodied by different characters.

Here are some examples, with some linked metas that explore the respective stories more in depth.

Madoka (topic= wishes):

Homura is determined to fulfill her wish no matter what

Kyubey is her opposite, as they are unable to wish since they lack feelings. This is why they need to recruit girls into creating energy through wishes

Madoka is in the middle, as she wants to wish for something, but doesn't know what

Mami, Kyouko and Sayaka all explore negative effects linked to wishes, which are connected to other secondary themes. Specifically, Mami explores the consequences of an immature wish, while Sayaka and Kyouko explore the selfishness/selflessness inherent in wishes

The conflict is solved through Madoka learning about the price of wishes, but still choosing to make a wish and to sacrifice her whole self for it. This ending conveys a specific moral: despite the pain and sacrifice that comes with them, wishes are still beautiful and worth it all. If Madoka had chosen to give up being a magical girl and had ended up the series without making a wish, the moral would have been the opposite: that a normal life is better than grandiose and dangerous dreams.

Monster (topic = the value of life)

Tenma believes that all lives are equal, which is why he chooses to save Johan as a child, despite being ordered to operate a far more influential patient.

Eva and Nina believe that not all lives are equal. In particular, Eva thinks that social status and importance in society influence the value of one's life. Nina instead believes that people who commit crime should be punished and lose their lives.

Johan believes no-life has value, including his own. In his words, the only thing all humans are equal in is death.

Here, the moral is conveyed through the Tenma/Nina vs Johan's conflict. Tenma is tested in his beliefs, but ultimately does not abandon them and ends the story by saving Johan. Nina instead is asked to change her mind, as she ends the story embracing Tenma's point of view.

RWBY - The Atlas Arc (topic = trust)

Ozpin lacks trust, as he is unable to trust others, no matter how loyal or dedicated to his cause they are

Ruby wants to "trust safely". She wants others, like Ironwood, to prove themselves to her before disclosing the truth to them

Ironwood is initially on Ruby's same page, but he spirals and comes to embody the "enemy of trust" aka control. He doesn't trust others, but wants to control them.

Oscar embodies trust, as he wants to trust Ironwood since the beginning. Even later on, he keeps on trusting people like Hazel and Emerald who are his enemies.

Cinder embodies another "enemy of trust", aka manipulation. She doesn't need to trust others to work with them, as she can use their feelings and wishes against them.

Penny embodies faith, which is a more extreme form of trust. She sacrifices herself and leaves the maiden power to Winter. She has no proof Winter will be able to save Weiss, Jaune or the relic, but she entrusts the future to her.

All these characters struggle with trust and its dangers. Some, like Ozpin, Ironwood and Cinder decide that trusting is too dangerous. Others, like Ruby, Penny and Oscar realize that to trust is the only way to move forward. Moreover, they learn there is not way to trust safely. As a matter of fact the moral of the arc is that "trust is a risk" and risks mean that things can end up badly. Still, not to take risk means to give up hope.

Hazbin Hotel - You didn't know song (topic= knowledge)

This song explores the idea of knowlege. The characters are after all in the middle of a questioning, which leads to several secrets coming out. Moreover, throughout it all the characters either admit or realize how ignorant they all are. The way they deal with this lack of knowledge establishes different thematic stances.

Charlie and Emily are both naive and ignore the darkest sides of their loved ones. Charlie doesn't know Vaggie used to be an exorcist and Emily has no idea Sera ordered the exterminations. Still, their answer to ignorance is to keep on questioning. They have no idea why only certain souls are admitted in heaven. Still, they think it is important to investigate the phenomenon and use it as evidence that there might be hope for the spirits in hell.

Lute and Adam don't know why some spirits end up in hell and others in heaven. Still, they do not bother to question it. So, Adam is caught by surprise by Charlie's question and has to improvise an answer. Not only that, but even later on the duo insist that Angel not being in Heaven proves he is unholy. And that's it.

Sera does know about the extermination, as she knows the system is unfair. Still, she refuses to question it and forbids others to do the same. She is the only one whose sin isn't ignornace, but knowledge.

There is no a clear thematic resolution to the question posed by the song. This is because the series is not over yet. However, the scene sets up the theme and the way characters will deal with it in later seasons will give us the moral.

As you can see, not only whole stories (like Madoka, or Monster) have themes, but also arcs (RWBY) and even episodes or scenes (Hazbin Hotel). That said, the way to go at it is always the same. Pintpoint the main topic and start investigate how the characters or the worldbuilding deal with it. You are gonna get several stances. The one which emeges victorious is the moral.

Let's highlight that the moral is not always embodied by the protagonist. For example, in the Madoka and RWBY's examples, Madoka and Ruby are initially at a loss and come to learn the moral by the end of the story (for Madoka) and arc (for Ruby). Similarly, Tenma initially does believe the moral, but doubts it throughout the story, only to be reminded and helped by other characters (like Nina).

In any case, the way the protagonist and characters in general relate to the main theme and to secondary themes is key for their arcs.

CHARACTERS AND THEME

When it comes to theme a character can either:

Believe the moral since the beginning

Not believe the moral since the beginning

In the first case, the character either stops believing the moral by the end (negative arc) or keeps believing the moral until the end (positive arc). In the second case, the character either learns the moral (positive arc) or doesn't learn the moral (negative arc).

In short, the story keeps challenging the character on their beliefs and they must either stick to their point of view or change it, depending if they believe in the moral since the beginning or not.

Exhibit A:

Charlie's belief that sinners can be redeemed is right. Still, in the beginning nobody else agrees with her, so she is challenged by the world around her. Her objective is not to lose faith in the Hazbin Hotel and to inspire others to change their mind too. Throughout her journey, she is bound to grow too. She starts as sheltered and naive with a simplistic idea of what redemption is. By the end, she will gain a deeper understanding of redempion and will grow as a result.

Exhibit B:

Eren's journey is about realizing what freedom (the main topic) is about. The problem is that he fixates himself on the idea that freedom means no boundaries, either natural nor humans. This leads him to embrace destruction and nihilism and to lose himself. In the end, the character who realizes what freedom truly is is Mikasa. She doesn't discard her bond with Eren, but is still able to make independent choices and to live as herself. In short, Eren doesn't learn the moral, hence why he spirals instead of growing.

Charlie is a protagonist who knows the moral and will grow with it in a positive arc. Eren is a protagonist who doesn't know the moral and never learns it. This is why he has a tragic negative arc.

These are just two examples, but there can be different combinations. By interrogating yourself on how characters relate to a theme, you get better a better understanding of their role in the story and of their overall arcs.

Still, how to find themes in a story? Luckily, each text is full of hints that are there for us to interpret them.

MOTIFS

Motifs are repetitive details within a story, which are used to communicate themes.

Anything can be a motif: a line, a musical tune, a specific imagery, an object. By repeating them in key moments throughout a narrative, they become symbols, which means they can lead to bigger metaphors and convey specific meanings.

In the song More Than Anything, dream is one of the main topics. We realize it because the characters keep mentioning it. At the same time, light keeps popping up. Lucifer summons light and throws it away, Charlie rememebrs a light show Lucifer imrpovised for her. Lucifer and Charlie start the song in the shadow and they end it in the light. This means that "light" is a motif throughout the song and by seeing how it is used we better understand the theme and the relationship between the two characters. We understand that light is a metaphor for dreams. Lucifer gives up on it, Charlie is inspired by it and eventually Lucifer summons it back as he has decided to believe in Charlie's dream. By looking at the way light is used, we can see that Charlie teaches Lucifer the moral that it is worth it to fight for dreams and not to give up on them.

In the CAA of HXH, gungi is a motif that comments both the topic of humanity and Meruem and Komugi's relationship. Their matches become a metaphor of monstrosity vs humanity, as humanity slowly conquers Meruem to the point he himself chooses to live and die as a human, rather than the King of the Ants. Similarly, Kokoriko symbolically becomes Komugi and Meruem's child, in the sense they give birth to this move and evolve the game.

Sometimes, their meaning is unique to the story. For example, gungi is a motif that makes sense within HxH and can't be brought outside of the series, as it is not a real world game. It only exists in that universe. Some other times, a motif can tie to bigger sets of symbols. For example, light and shadow are universal symbols that bring with them several additional meanings:

Good and Evil

The Jungian persona shadow

In the Hazbin Hotel song the first dychotomy doesn't fit, while the second one does. Initially both Lucifer and Charlie hide things from each other (shadow), whereas by the end they show who they are (light).

In short, to analyze a story, you should find its key motifs. They are hints to better understand the theme and the characters. Different stories will use different motifs and tie them to different wider sets of symbols. To find the right ones can help a lot in better understanding a story, as a whole.

Some examples:

RWBY uses fairy tales and alchemy as its main motif, so these two sets of symbols are the most useful to analyze the series

HxH is a shonen and uses its powers and fights to convey character arcs and themes, so to analyze one's nen abilities helps a lot

Hazbin Hotel is a musical series that takes inspiration from religion and mythology. So, it is probable that the best understanding of it will come from analyzing its songs and from looking into its religion inspiration

Of course this doesn't mean you should only use one motif to analyze a story. For example, you can use RWBY's semblances to look into the characters, as well. And there are some fairy tale allusions in Hazbin too. In the end, it is about using what best helps you understand a story as a whole.

What is more, there are general sets of symbols that can be useful in most stories, such as jungian archetypes. Finally, you might want to start from other aspects of the story itself, rather than theme or characters or plot. For example, you might be drawn to the world-building and realize it is used in a special way to explore the theme. Or you might be curious about character designs and see that they have their own symbolism (for example, I believe RWBY ones do and probably Hazbin Hotel ones, as well).

SOME PRACTICAL ADVICE

I have linked in the title of each paragraph, but this last one an article by @septembercfawkes. Her posts are great to better understand narrative structure and I found them enlightening.

I think the best thing you can do is to start with focused metas. Choose a scene, a character, a motif that intrigues you and start exploring it. It is better to start small and to narrow your focus, it would be easier to organize your article.

I usually outline the contents of the meta before starting to write it. Still, it sometimes changes as I keep writing.

It can be useful to write at the beginning of your analysis what you are gonna do. It will help you remember what the point of the meta is. For example, in my RWBY allusion meta or HxH nen meta, I always start with the motif I am analyzing. I summarize the fairy tale (even if many people know it already) and I explain what the character's ability is about. It helps organizing the flow and the contents.

The more you analyze the better you become at it, so it is just a matter of starting :)

Thank you for the asks, I hope this was helpful and not too much confusing!

Have a nice day!

#writing #meta-asks #asksfullofsugar #anonymous #sweet anon

[lutawolf]

The Sign Commentary Review Ep 2 part 1 & 2

We start off right where we left off, with Phaya listening in to the conversation that the instructors are having. He tells Tharn to take Yai back, but is anyone surprised when Tharn doesn't listen?

Phaya, I got to ask. What kind of life you have been living that you can pick a lock? Though to be fair, I unlocked my sister's bedroom door with a butter knife more than once.

Phaya makes his way in and intensely looks around. Guess they don't have security cameras. Anyway, he finds what he is looking for and takes photos with his cell phone.

These two. I love them so much. "Why are you so close?" While smirking. The other facing down his current bedmate with annoyance. "I can't see. Why didn't you find a better place? Someplace with more space?"

They discuss the case while cuddling under the blanket. They weren't under there for warmth and seriously, even Yai couldn't turn this into hiding. Those coconuts are cuddling! Convince me otherwise!

Phaya says how he doesn't think that the victim tied his ankle knot himself. "How do you know?" "I just know." Hahahaha! Know a little something about knot tying do you Phaya. So we are looking at a wrap and cinch, aka a quick cuff. Now he was floating in water so that has to allow for some rope give but notice the pull section is in the back. If he were going to quick cuff himself, the pull would be in front so he could yank it himself

How the hell are you going to hide two people under that blanket! I got to see this. Oh wow. 😂😂😂

Tension! Damn, but they got some good chemistry!

"I'm not leaving until you tell me."

HAHAHAHA I'm dead. Phaya taking advantage of the situation is my favorite thing ever.

Now back to training. Where we see Phaya paying attention to everything, and then we get to the classroom. Have I meantioned how much I love Yai?

Look at that guilty face. Homeboy can deny all he wants, but his face says it all. Hahaha!

Then the looks that Tharn and Phaya give each other. Screams confusion on Phaya's part and guilty on Tharn's. I'm loving it. Speaking of faces.

Someone is suspicious of our boy Phaya.

More training, with a sprinkling of flirtation. Then hand holding!!!

Ohhhh, yeah baby, break out the rope. Phaya is showing Tharn exactly what I mentioned earlier.

They are contemplating what move to make next and how just the two of them can do it when the Scooby gang shows up. You decide who is who, but they are the Scooby gang for sure. Yai brings up valid points as to why not to investigate, but Phaya says he can't ignore this and be a cop. Which everyone agrees with but Phaya, but now I know why. He was protecting his brother. I love Yai and his fierce loyalty.

I love them both so much. They are a good balance. And Captain suspicious is for sure watching them. The Captain follows them around to figure out what they are up to.

Now for some well deserved eye candy. Thank you, director, for knowing what us thirsty bitches want.

Now we are to the part where Phaya sneaks out to look for evidence at the beach.

A female voice begins calling out his name. Telling him to come this way. She appears in the water, beckoning to him. Meanwhile, Tharn senses something and wakes up. Checks Phaya's bed and sees that he is missing. He takes off, seeming to know where he will be. He finds Phaya in the wadding in the ocean in an apparent trance.

This is also around the time when they get caught by the instructors. Please let one of them be smart enough to come up with an excuse.

Apparently not. He threatens to expel all of them who continue with the investigation.

After punishment, Phaya talks to the guys in the barracks. Telling them that he is really sorry. It's at this point that we realize that Thai was the smart one of the group earlier. That the Captain was right. For them to be good cops, they have to stick to the rules and pass the exam.

And that's that for this part. On to the next. I'm breaking them into two posts because... Well, I like to add all the pictures. 💜💜💜

#the sign the series #the sign bl #phayatharn #phaya and tharn #luta talks the sign #coconuts mafia

[demure2]

Blood is Thicker Than Wine _ FOUR

> BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WINE [MASTERLIST]

— 1930s au

— yandere neighbor!chanyeol x reader || ft. best friend!sehun

— genre: angst, suggestive

— warnings: language, alcohol use, cigarette/substance use, mental illness, watching from afar, anxiety, gun, blood, older fella chanyeol

— word count: 3.5k

— note: hey guys, sorry i got caught up in schtuff. final smut chapter after dis one and then i will FINALLY BE ABLE TO START NEW WRITING. smut chapter IS coming soon. um YAY…!! open to suggestions and criticisms always :)

“Would you stop doing that, Chanyeol?” Your voice can’t help but come out small and innocently, not sure if he even hears you. You’re inundated by the pressure of his gaze beating down on you, the embarrassing urge to cry tugging relentlessly on your soft features.

“Baby, doing what?” His face softens. The gash across Chanyeol’s nose bridge looks more salient than ever, the dried blood glistening in the sodium light. His boastful posture deflates.

He inches dangerously close to you, until you can feel his emanating body heat. Blood on his lips threaten to spill over from teeth marks branded deep into his skin, eyes blown out and impatiently waiting for your response. A simple-minded man, he’s always been unsure of how to confront feelings meaningfully. If he could make himself think harder of anything better than easing it all with a smoke, he’d do it, but he can’t.

The yearning is sudden and impulsive on his fingertips, creeping down into his jacket. He’s ready to balance a cigarette between his forefinger and middle, but his pocket is vacant no matter how many times he runs the pads of his fingers over the patch of surface. Fuck.

“Stop telling me stupid things. Responsible for the death of Park Yoora? Sehun’s a mailboy and author, working part time as a mechanic. He’s never maimed anyone, never hurt a soul, let alone someone from your bloodline, Chanyeol,” it comes out harshly from your throat, crudely. “I have no reason to believe you and your lies anymore.” As if watching Chanyeol’s face falter and fall dramatically was too much to bear, you lazily shut your hooded eye, which have no problem sticking together easily due to the air’s stagnant moisture. The words are oddly visceral in his ears, cold and unforgiving all at once.

The townsfolk would agree that they’re used to, maybe unsettlingly too used to, Chanyeol’s eyes being void of much emotion. That’s the kind of man he is, after all, no one else can ignite unexpected life in them besides you.

And so, the gleam of betrayal in his eyes tonight is suddenly immediate, catching you off-guard nonetheless. His fitfully soft gaze hardens and his eyebrows scrunch angrily, watching your irises amplify with fear beneath him. “What’s so unbelievable about that, [Y/N]? Believe me, your little boyfriend’s maimed whether you want it or not, and he’s maimed my sister. Her husband couldn’t pay off a car loan and she was dead, just like that. Accept it, like I have.

You don’t have to be best friends with a murderer, you can come keep me company, bring me pastries or bake me an apple pie every weekend — I’ll take care of you. He's not your best friend. Don’t want him to be,” Chanyeol’s voice breaks, the weight of his acidic jealousy and grief awfully agonizing. He pauses to watch your stoic face carefully, searching for regret, but he won’t find any more than his own. “There’s bathtubs of our moonshine in front of you, aren’t there? Then what’s so hard to believe about that? Can’t you just believe me?” His firm tone becomes desperate, tender and divulging of his feelings.

“When it’s Sehun doing dirt, you don’t bat a pretty eyelash, you don’t think he could ever do it. When I tell you, you’re quick to deem me incredulous. You just don’t know everything like you think you do, bunny,” Chanyeol’s complexion toughens up just enough for him to not break down, an almost-sneer. The words come out in fragments, bits and pieces, his eyes still eager for validation in yours. The distance between your bodies makes you anxious.

You attempt to save your case, beginning to look crazed going back and forth. “Your lies are in poor taste. Let’s not forget that you’re villainizing Sehun, when you’re just as worse, Chanyeol — you’re jealous, aren’t you? You can’t bear the thought of me hanging out with him, because your filthy mind is convinced he’s fucking my brains out over the hood of one of his flivvers,” you hiss, voice tight and indignant. Chanyeol’s jaw clenches, teeth gritting together in his guise of red-eared anger.

“My ‘little boyfriend,’ Chanyeol? You think I’m a damned slut? He’s still my best friend, and I won’t let your apparent matters get in between us. And you said you'd take care of me? With what, with the criminal cash you’ve laundered? Why do you even do this filthy work? Where did you fuck up, Chanyeol? Tell me! What went wrong with you?”

The confrontation reminds Chanyeol of his roots. He bares his teeth, putting his hands up defensively. “No. Don’t talk down to me. I’ll take care of us. I will.”

“No, really, Chanyeol. Why else would you be working for bootleggers? You fucked up, and then you try to make it all better by making me think my best friend is just as bad.”

“I wouldn’t say that I fucked up. Would you rather have not known that he was doing those things? Would you have rather lived in euphoric bliss all your life, hanging out with a murderer? You should be thanking me, [Y/N]. Are you upset, baby? Maybe I did make you hate your little boyfriend and you’re afraid to admit it.” You flinch as he gets in your face, mere inches away. But the smell of ash is unusually absent from his breath, and on nights like these, where you’ve wandered too far away from home, it’s more unsettling than comforting.

Chanyeol feels his words pile on top of each other in front of you, unable to withstand his anger. Despite this, sweet relief merely washes over his anger for a second, like a crisp breeze. He hopes you can sense it, too. More or less, he’d tasted victory. He knows you’re sort of unsure now, insecure of your accords with Sehun and who you thought he was.

Men like Chanyeol are stupid, so he takes the chance to finally close the distance between you, taking you into his arms and murmuring into your hair. “You don’t like him anymore, do you?” Chanyeol is hopeful and gentle with his words, softly in your ear. “You don’t love him more than you love me,” he repeats. “You love me.” The feeling deep inside you that Chanyeol was right is acidic in your mouth, and it eats at you tenaciously.

You push him off of you and wipe your mouth, as if being that close to him was depraving, although you’d been pressed up to him before.

Over and over again, countless times before, but never close enough.

Sehun still occupied your mind without a doubt — how could he not, having known you for 4 years? You’d deeply cared for him since you first met in highschool — you, a junior, and him, a second year college student. Brought together by your close-rooted excursions home from school, he’d been your older brother figure. You remember it clearly, he’d bring along his two college friends with him to walk you home some days — Junmyeon and Yixing. They both had a crush on you that winter, red noses and all.

JUNMYEON’S ETHYL & GARAGE WORK’s formation was starting to make a lot of sense. Especially regarding their choice of hired hands.

By your senior year, Sehun had already been close to dropping out twice, but for some reason, stayed. Your momma liked Sehun all the same, wishful thinking that he’d end up somewhere.

You start hesitantly, worry etched into your expression. “I didn’t know he was like this. I didn’t know both of you were involved in this, Chanyeol, and if I did, I wouldn’t have decided to know you. I’m compliant. I am sorry, but I cannot love crooked men like you.” Again, the words reverberate twice as cruel in Chanyeol’s large ears, echoing over and over. He can’t find a solution.

Still feeling the phantom trace of both of your hands pressed up to his chest, pushing him away, Chanyeol doesn’t like the feeling of defeat. “Talk about compliance? With what, laws or rumors? Was it so compliant of you to loiter and trespass into my house at midnight? Are you so compliant when Sehun asks you to use your pretty skirt to sneak a few cigarette packs out from the store? Who cares about what we do for cash, I know sure as hell that you of all people fucking don’t, [Y/N].”

You’re stunned, defensive and cold, so the words blurt out of your mouth before you have the chance to fully apprehend them, swiftly and fleeting. "I have a right to care, do I not?”

But they’re nothing of swiftly and fleeting to Chanyeol, repeating over and over in his mind in your gentle voice. You almost clasp your hands over your mouth, feeling your teeth gnawing on the inside of your cheek. Gravity had pulled your senses together too late, long after the words had left your mouth. Chanyeol releases his heel, ready to turn around just seconds before.

The lull in his voice isn’t deceptive for once, something of a catharsis. “You’ve never cared. Aren't you scared of me, [Y/N]? You don’t think I notice? You don’t think I’m self aware? Of course I’m jealous, I know that I’m fucking sick, I’m in love with someone who I’ve watched for weeks." He says this in a tone matter-of-factly, but shameful in its meaning. He can’t help but feel allured to the thought of protecting your sugary elation from his potent, black tar of a psyche, despite eagerly desiring its corruption. “I just can’t help it, anymore. Men like me are stupid,” he says, and you notice that he says that a lot. “I always want what I can’t have," Chanyeol exhales, catching his breath. "You’ll never get it, [Y/N].”

Unsure of what to say, you look up at Chanyeol with demure eyes, tears threatening to fall at the motion of a blink. The cellar air is still cold yet saturated against your skin, harsh and unforgiving. You're just as destroyed, turning away from him.

You don’t think he does, but of course Chanyeol takes notice of you eyeing the stairway carefully, the center of each step slightly depressed in crescents after years of crude weight. You take one more look behind you at him, eyebrows still furrowed and focused on you. Then, holding your skirt down, you run as fast as possible. “I’ve gotta go.”

Chanyeol stays still, watching your form retreat up the stairs.

Making it back to the intermediate EMPLOYEES ONLY desk room, your eyes meet Jongin's. He's breathing heavily, his body already backed up against the door, barricading it with muscular leverage. Jongin smiles gently at the sight of you, sweat from the parching tension condensing at his cupid's bow. His eyes curve upward as he smiles. "Why don't you stay with Chanyeol, instead."

The sound of steady footfall echoes in the stairwell behind you, creaking the wood underneath. Desperately, you run up to Jongin. "Let me out, I have to leave." You whisper thinly, pushing Jongin's hair back to reveal his pink flushed ears. He pauses for a moment, allowing the stairwell noises to reverberate louder. Quickly, voice hitching in his throat, he quietly urges. "Relax. He’s gon' go mad if he sees you this close to me, sweet stuff. Let's back up, ‘kay?”

Discomfort vaguely reflected in your expression, you back away slowly, turning your gaze to the stairwell. You watch intently as Chanyeol's torso slowly emerges from the stairs, holding onto the left railing.

Your eyes grace each other instantaneously, doubtful and ashamed. He approaches you first, although timidly, head down. Then lowly, pulling you toward him so only you can hear, he murmurs a pitiful "I'm so sorry."

Chanyeol looks up to press his lips together into a quick smile, glancing at Jongin — slang for thanks! Jongin nods, subsiding his body from the door. "Sehun's in the back again tonight. Still working on that flaming ‘32 Buick."

When you two meet the night air outside, his smile collapses again, everything inside of him falling in on each other. “Let’s bring you to him, now. He can drive you home tonight,” Chanyeol asserts coldly, angry at himself. He didn't mean to tell you all of that, especially before he’d told you that he’d loved you. He didn’t mean to tell you all of that for weeks, but stupid men like me aren’t good at thinking before we speak. His hands are rough and calloused, the functional arm brushing against your shoulder before quickly retracting.

You make your way around the back together to the rows of vehicle hoists in the large outdoor garage, moments of stillness and night peeking through the open air on the sides. Feeling pissed, you make sure to walk in front of Chanyeol, so he can see the perfect ellipse your hips sway in when you walk. You know he likes it.

You see it all at once; a vibrant and lousy red car with stained white wheels, and beneath it, a quietly focused but normally lousy boy. Black hair pasted to his forehead with sweat, and eyes thin at practice.

“Sehun!” you call eagerly, desperate for his familiarity. His narrowed eyes snap to you in an instant, then darts to the taller man next you.

You run towards him, even against the emanating smell of gas and motor oil from his work station. Then, you fall to your knees on the rough asphalt, meeting him eye level as he sits there in baggy denim, one knee up and the other leg stretched out like a cat.

“He took you here, doll?” His voice is shaky and concerned for the both of you, glaring at Chanyeol from a distance. Sehun’s face is covered in sweaty dew from exposure to the close heat, hands diligently buried in the car’s hind suspension beam and axle.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you work with him?”

Sehun’s gaze hardens intensely, his dark brown irises piercing the scene behind you. You turn around quickly, realizing Chanyeol was now close to the car as well, having walked to where you two were.

Sehun draws back his hands from the machinery and hoists himself up to the other side, out from sitting underneath the raised car. He dusts off his knees, standing up to reach Chanyeol’s height, separated only by the flaming red Buick between them — and you, sitting at Chanyeol’s feet. They stare at each other menacingly in the dim garage light momentarily. Their mannerisms are similar in this way; backs straight like soldiers for war, eyebrows furrowed and heaving chests. What could you do?

Chanyeol breaks the silence. Snarkily, he’s unphased, unmoving and still. “Just wanted to show your sweetheart what you were up to. Car fixing, wine selling, killing innocent families for patriarchs’ loans. She actually really missed you, Sehun. I’m so jealous, really.”

“Still caught up on big sissy? That happened months ago, don’t be so brash in front of [Y/N], now. Does she know that you taint the liquor you sell, Chanyeol?”

“She knows what my tongue feels like,” Chanyeol cocks his head to the side, sticking out his tongue to bite down on it. A taunting demonstration in Sehun’s face, the mockery is jarring. He’s taken aback momentarily, but that doesn’t stop him from putting his arms down onto the Buick’s hood, triumphantly. “What’s your fucking problem?”

“That someone I’m forced to work with keeps fucking with things I care about.” Sehun fucks up on the job, and he gets away kindly with a lengthy talk from Junmyeon about not killing innocent people for fear. Sehun fucks up off the job, and he’s got no one left to clean up for him. These things are still foreign to Sehun, still young and unsure of trivial matters. Like if the way his dick curves to the right will make him die sooner, or if he’ll ever grow any facial hair.

Your eyes dart between the two men and their exchange, though its difficult to see Sehun from your position, so you stand up.

Sehun throws his denim jacket to the garage’s floor, nothing underneath except skin slick with grease. The buttons make contact with the cement, clicking and clunking. Their eyes are locked, not parting for a second.

“You wanna go? Fist to fist like men?” Sehun clenches his fists with bruising grasps. Chanyeol laughs, “not really.”

He’d lose anyway, with one functional arm, the other in a sling to his side.

Sehun seethes, seconds away from lunging at Chanyeol anyway. “What’s got you so pent up? The girl here has your panties in a twist?”

“Every man’s own right to go and have his own wife.”

Then, Sehun frowns upon reaching an epiphany. “So pitiful of you. You dragged [Y/N] along so she would hate me.” Chanyeol smiles shamelessly, not completely a lie. “Some of it.”

Sehun begins to make his way around the hood of the car, nothing in between you now to shield against his vexation. The denim jeans he wears are dirty and caked with dirt at the knees, and the baggy fabric folds between his legs at every motion.

“Why don’t we put this in the past, Chanyeol? You always let all your emotions get the best of you, except anger. You always let the anger bottle up! Even now I know you’re not angry at me, even though I can’t bring Yoora back for you,” Sehun contends, strangely assertive behavior for him. “Let’s start over, Park Chanyeol. I’ll hang out with [Y/N], and you can go back to that Mélis doll. We’ll work together from now on, I’m not bargaining with you, now.”

From the corner of his eye, he can see Chanyeol raise his hand up from his hip, slipping into his coat.

You almost would have missed it if it weren’t for the proud blood splatter on the cement, the vehemently loud noise over in the span of a blink.

Sehun jerks his body away from Chanyeol’s at once, your heart thundering in your chest. You watch stock-still and he wretches an agonizing groan, clutching his lower abdomen and collapsing onto the bloodied cement. Sehun calls out your name faintly, but you try not to look. His stomach makes an obscene sticky squelch.

Your scream makes Chanyeol wince with an eye closed, though the gloating smile tugging at his lips is harder to hide. “He’ll be fine, ready to work in a week. Just in the hip. Jongin and Baekhyun heard it, it’s nothing,” nonchalantly, he returns the hand to his side.

You rush to Sehun’s side before you have the chance to puke all over the pavement, holding his face in your hands. His eyes are hazy, but eyebrows still furrowed in a fit of silent rage, teeth hissing. “Hurts so bad, [Y/N]. You need to run,” he pants in your ear, tucking his head in between your neck and your collarbone. He’s lightheaded because of the blood loss, blooming through his denim jeans. His eyes plead, and he manages a small “love ya.”

“You’re gonna be okay, Sehun, I’m here.”

The silence makes you twist your head to find the older man, quickly. “You did this to him! You sick creep, he’s bleeding out, he’s hurt, he’s in pain. He’s going to die!” But Chanyeol is already leaning on a concrete pillar haphazardly, without a care in the world, “let him.”

You take off your slip-on coat quickly, then your tight, long sleeved blouse. The tourniquet you make resembles a bloodied kitchen rag, but it will make-do until Jongin and Baekhyun flood the scene. The slip-on coat makes it back on your form before they arrive.

When the men reach Sehun’s side, they work hastily and efficiently, before hefting his weight onto their backs.

You slip next to Chanyeol, still gazing at Sehun’s disheveled form. He’s still conscious, but in shock and daze held up. “You still want him to take you home tonight?”

“What is wrong with you?”

Chanyeol had gotten into the illegal trade while youthful, following his discharge from the militia. A jarhead, blunt and unsure, he’d reluctantly majored in business. When it all came crashing down in the midst of the roaring 20s, he’d decided that he’d work in law enforcement customs — an easy job that brunt men could understand, watching the crime rate reach an all time high. During these times, he observed Mr. Kim Junmyeon, a sophisticated industrialist, audaciously bringing in wooden crates of illegally distilled liquor crossing between Montreal to Manhattan. He wasn’t worried, because he knew it would work out in the end — and he was good at networking, even with the authorities.

Really, he admired Junmyeon’s work and dedication to the craft, lacking his own ambition. He'd let Junmyeon slip through easily, beginning to lack integrity. Junmyeon knew this, so he’d go back and forth with new bottles every two weekends, sparing Chanyeol a few for his kind gesture. Now, they hand out laundered money together at the pubs like candy, and crash autos like they’re nothing more than just carnival bumper cars. Sell wine like water, corrupt what you need to in order to get what you want.

Out of all, though, they don't meddle in each other’s businesses.

#by demure2 #chanyeol angst #sehun angst #yandere exo #exo yandere au #yandere chanyeol #exo au #exo x reader #chanyeol x reader #chanyeol au #sehun au #yandere au #yandere!chanyeol #yandere!exo

[incandescentflower]

hi! i love your fics so much. do you think you'll be inspired to write more karan/achi? do you have any headcanons about their lives post-show? or like just general headcanons? i didn't have much faith in taynew when the show was announced but i have seen the errors of my way, they did an excellent job and no cursed penultimate episode, yay!

hey there anon! thank you so much. I'm glad you like my fics! I have one wip for Karanachi that I already started posting - it's an AU where Karan finds out about Achi's mind-reading ability before Achi hears Karan's crush thoughts. I look forward to continuing it, but I ended up having an idea for a one shot that snuck in there before I could keep going on that. I have some ideas for missing scenes or extending scenes during the show timeline. Honestly I have quite a few ideas and I'm hoping to find some time to work on them.

In terms of general headcanons - how much time to you have? haha my brain has been buzzing about them for the last few weeks. After this last episode I've thought a bit about how Karan has asked Achi twice if he misses or regrets losing his magical power - I think despite his love and trust for Achi, we've learned that he was never directly told things by his parents and so he might tend to "mind read" himself and continue to need reassurances.

Achi has declared he will take more care of Karan and I think that will be true. I think it's Karan's natural tendency to focus on what Achi needs and it will be Achi turning that around. Achi clearly wants to be needed - to be seen as someone Karan can rely on. His proposal was "Let me take care of you." He wants to be an equal partner in their relationship, but based on their personalities, I'm sure that balance will take some effort. Karan is not used to being vulnerable.

The fic is formulating as I type haha.

And yes, the entire ending was so satisfying - no unnecessary angst at the end - it was about their journey as a couple, their relationship status had been secured. Their drama was almost always outside of their relationship and they always talked about their misunderstandings and faced things together.

Tay and New were everything I'd hoped they'd be. It's a bit funny because I still haven't watched them in DBK fully. I've seen scenes. All my hopes for them in these roles came from their work in 3 Will Be Free and the Warp Effect. They are both strong actors who can do great work if they have the right story and director. They came through for us all 100% and I will always have warm feelings about them because of it.

It won't be the same at all, but I am still looking forward to them having a drama together so soon after this with Peaceful Property. No matter what, it will feel good seeing them on screen together again.

But ultimately, I am so beyond pleased that they put so much into characters who I had loved so dearly before and even extended their stories in ways that made them even more vibrant to me. I really feel so lucky to get this adaptation. It will stick with me for a long time.

#asks #anon #my fic #thank you for the ask anon! #I love chatting and it helps me with my writing ideas #I have a lot of feeeellllings here #cherry magic thailand #cherry magic th

[lordoftherazzles]

“Is this a fight or would you two like some privacy?” Would please me very much if you did this one. 👀

I had a LOT of fun with this one, okay?? I knew exactly what I wanted to do as soon as you sent this to me, yay!! Yet again, I can't stick to the "less than 1000 words" thing for these, but that's okay. I am enjoying these drabbles so much!!!

Have some words from the AU verse of "Where The Shadows Lie"

Things around the bed and breakfast had been relatively normal–or as normal as they could be when a vampire slayer, bodyguard, and all around nerd shared their home with a brood of eccentric vampires. Things had turned around and tensions had lessened regarding the royal predicament on hand, and everyone was happier for it.

Especially Thorin, and who could blame him?

But with normalcy settling in and comfort becoming very common, that didn’t mean the royal issue of the vampiric hierarchy could be forgotten. It was only a matter of time before Azog gained the balls to send someone their way, and if he was going to keep his company in one area, relying on the protection of old legends and a very much alive Took, then that slayer needed to know what he was up against.

“Again,” Thorin demanded sternly, his eyes dark and full of threat as they remained locked on Bilbo across the room from him. The poor fella looked winded, but there was determination in his eyes as well, and that was something Thorin respected, just as he found it incredibly attractive.

With emotion playing no part in these little lessons–unlike that time Bilbo had nearly taken out Thorin with a stake before being pounded into a wall–it seemed the vampire slayer was a little less than coordinated while under the spotlight. It was annoying to Bilbo, and each time he made a lunge for his target and ended up on his ass, his snarl grew in intensity. As did Thorin’s lessons.

But, he tried! God, how he tried!

Charging towards Thorin and trying to get a single hand on him, failure was quickly staring Bilbo in the face as he was on his back in a matter of seconds, Thorin leaning over him with a hand pressed against his chest to keep him down. “Nugh! Just fire me already!” Bilbo whined in annoyance as he pouted and laid around like a useless wet noodle.

“Fire you?” Thorin’s brow arched high as his lips formed a straight line. “I don’t think that’s necessary. You’re just thinking too much about it. You’re a ‘heat of the moment’ sort of fighter, that’s true, but I’d be a fool to not teach out the basics in self-defense.” It’s what kept them going at this despite Bilbo’s continuous objections. “You’ll get it.” Leaning down and preparing to press a kiss to Bilbo’s forehead, a new idea began to take root in Thorin’s own mind. Replacing the look of comfort and adoration to something less enthusiastic and more snarly, Thorin gripped at Bilbo’s shirt to hoist him back up a bit roughly. “Or else we’ll leave, and I’ll find someone who can do the job.”

“What?!” Bilbo squeaked, trying to find his balance as he was suddenly in an upright position.

“It would be cruel to subject you to my world if you can’t even defend yourself, and as a king, I must think of both my protection, and my partner’s. A weakness has no place here.” A look of strain crossed the vampire’s face as a forced curve of his lips was present. “It’s not that I would want to part ways, but I can’t afford to worry about you–”

“Let’s go again!” Bilbo growled, wiggling out of Thorin’s grip and bouncing on his feet once more. “I can protect myself, you don’t have to worry about me”

“Prove it.”

A small voice in the back of Bilbo’s brain knew, and warned him, that this was nothing more than Thorin jerking his chain, trying to get a rise out of him. But if poking a teeny-tiny emotional button (which said a lot), was what it took to learn something today? Then so be it. The fact that Bilbo was truly and utterly bothered at the idea of Thorin leaving both in general, and as a partner due to his lack of ability, spoke volumes. To say that Bilbo was thoroughly attached and invested in this man would be an understatement, and now he was going to prove his worth.

If he could wildly slay a few vampires at that nightclub not too long ago, surely he could land Thorin on his ass? Besides, something about that sounded more fun than it should with Thorin  sporting some smug little grin on his face right about now.

With a frown settling onto his lips, and concentration hardening in his eyes, Bilbo waited a few seconds before lunging, but his balance and moves weren’t as careless as before. He had something needling him with Thorin’s words, and the vampire’s confidence, and now that there was something to prove, his body knew how to act. The adrenaline that soared through Bilbo’s veins was unlike anything he was used to. He’d never been an avid sports participant, but he had to wonder if the feeling was similar to being on the field. This was a game he could not lose. 

Thorin was someone he could not lose. If not for the sake of his sanity, then for the sake of his overly attached heart.

…

“Again!”

The sound of Thorin’s shout practically echoed through the walls, as had the sound of glass shattering and continuous thuds against either the wall or the floor, and naturally, the sound made Frerin pause. 

Now, Frerin wasn’t ignorant to his brother and Bilbo’s…physical lifestyle, to say otherwise would be a bold faced lie. Thuds and shouts weren’t uncommon, but this sounded decidedly different, or that little human with the twitchy nose was wilder than Frerin expected. It made a spark of curiosity take root in his brain as he sauntered towards the doorway and gave the knob a firm twist as one loud thud made him almost flinch.

It wasn’t that he wanted to walk in on Bilbo and Thorin doing the nasty, but that curiosity had gotten the better of him, especially when it didn’t exactly sound like a rough love making moment. Though as he stared at the floor, part of him had to wonder otherwise. There they were, both fully clothed and entirely focused on one another with gritted teeth and intense stares.

Bilbo was seated atop Thorin at his chest, his crotch practically in Thorin’s face as the other’s hands were pinned to the ground awkwardly over his head. The funny part was how Bilbo’s gritted expression turned into a smirk of confidence.

At least, until Frerin cleared his throat and arched a brow. “Is this a fight, or would you two like some privacy?”

“Aha! A witness!” Bilbo cheered, still keeping every ounce of his strength against Thorin’s hands while trying to ignore the blush beginning to slowly bloom across his cheeks. “I’m getting the hang of this self-defense thing.”

“Or Thorin just likes your dick in his face,” Frerin shrugged nonchalantly as his brother’s head turned and shot a sharp glare that could likely cut through butter. “What? Just stating facts! But it’s nice to see you both are still in one piece.”

“Why did you walk in if you had any inkling we might be doing something else?” Thorin snarled in annoyance, only to watch Frerin’s grin widen like that of a cheshire cat.

”Pro-tip, leave a sock on the door, or lock it, if you plan to take these little lessons in a spicy direction. Then critters like me won’t come wandering in–”

“Get out!”

Frerin zipped out as quickly as he had wandered in–so, slowly–leaving Thorin to growl and Bilbo to snicker at the display. “Siblings,” Thorin huffed before turning his attention back up towards he who had proven himself time and time again, and today was no exception. “You’ve done well, though,” Thorin’s words were less stone-like, and his expression had softened a fraction as Bilbo’s eyes met his.

“Your little mind tricks seemed to help. It gave me something to fight for rather than just swinging at you aimlessly…though that does hold some appeal with the way you gave the idea of casting me aside,” Bilbo feigned distress as his eyes rolled, but his hands had never once moved to release Thorin from his pinned state. There was too much pride in holding him here by the hands. “I wouldn’t let you leave, even if you tried.”

“Mm, if this hold you have me in is just a taste of what I could expect from you, I wouldn’t expect any less,” Thorin snorted, his hands twisting a bit to maneuver the grip Bilbo had him in, lacing their hands together for something a little more loving. “But I have no reason to leave, and never did. Though, keeping you safe is of great importance to me.” 

“Well, as you can see, I think I am perfectly capable of handling myself, especially when I have something to lose,” Bilbo hummed his words, his eyes dropping a bit and his grip lessening. Was it silly to admit such things? Perhaps, but at least they were honest. “Did you want to keep practicing?”

A small squeeze of Bilbo’s hands brought those hazel eyes back to him, and Thorin’s blues sparkled with a touch of mischief. “I think that’s enough practice for today, but I will say, where we are now has me incredibly inspired,” Thorin chuckled, grinning widely as he squeezed Bilbo’s hands again. “I quite like being beneath you, and at your mercy.” 

“My mercy, huh? If that isn’t a stroke against my ego then I don’t know what else would be.”

“Lock the door and I’ll do more than stroke that ego of yours,” the vampire purred, tilting his chin upward and towards the door, but not daring to keep his eyes off Bilbo. “Unless you’d rather–”

“Nope!” Bilbo was up and moving to the door, nearly as quick as the one vampire in the room! Just like his fighting lessons, there was something that made the effort worth it, and he was beyond content in calling it a day on the sparring, and seeing just how fun it was to take the seat of power–right on Thorin’s chest with their hands laced. “Continue.” And while matching Thorin’s grin, Bilbo was more keen on these little lessons of theirs if they all came with a proper reward at the end.

#the hobbit #bagginshield #thilbo #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #frerin #thorin x bilbo #fic: where the shadows lie #razzledrabbles #razzywrites

[ladylooch]

Can we get some young lio 🥹 with em and t

I hold my phone, recording as I squat down on the ice at the Prudential Center. Timo is holding Lio’s hands above his head as he puts his first Bauer skate onto the ice. 

“Yay!” I squeals at our son, laughing at the big smile on his face. “Are you on the ice like daddy, baby?!” 

“Yuh!” He giggles. Timo grins at me, then bites his lip as he focuses on holding a squirrelly Lio up. 

“Good job!” I cheer as he begins to work his little skate blades against the ice. Timo has a wide base with his skates, encouraging Lio along. My eyes scan along his thick thighs and ass for a moment before focusing back on our son’s first skate.

“Hey.” I call to my husband as I stop recording, stuffing my phone in the pocket of my puffy vest. “You look so hot right now.” 

“Don’t distract me.” He chuckles. He looks away, but then turns his gaze on me again quickly. “I'd take a peek.” He nods to my breasts.

“You’re a slut.” I mouth at him, chuckling as I move back to the bench.

“You need me?” He watches my feet carefully. The ice is freshly zambonied and pretty slippery. 

“No, I can skate.”

“Yeah but you’re wearing sneakers. Not skates.” He rolls his eyes at my persistent independence. I stick my tongue out at him. “Do it again and I’ll find you a place to put that.” 

I lean my head back and laugh, pulling my phone out to take more pictures. Everything is going swimmingly. Timo is giving soft direction. Lio listens intently, mimicking his movements. Then, Timo picks him up and skates really fast along the rink. Lio is laughing and squealing at the air on his face. He stops hard in front of me, covering my upper body in snow. 

“Really?” 

“Lio told me too.” 

“Clearly.” Timo puts Lio back on his skates.

“You wanna try a few more strides?”

“Yuh.” Lio confirms, working his little feet immediately. By doing so, he gets too far out of Timo’s grasp to catch him without pulling his arm out of his socket. Lio falls down on his knees and looks up at his dad. They stare back at each other, waiting. Lio starts to cry. Timo looks at me, smiling and reaching down to put him back on his blades. Lio clings to Timo’s shirt, not wanting to let go.

“You’re going to fall a lot, buddy. But I’ll be here to pick you up, okay?” I sigh at the sweetness of him with our son. 

“I just fell in love with you again.” I groan, holding my hand against my chest. 

“Good.” He murmurs, skating closer to the bench to give me a kiss. “Kiss mama. That always helps me feel better.” He grins, tilting Lio into the bench so I can smooch his little, puckered lips. “Okay, are you ready to try again.”

“Yuh.” Lio says with determination. 

“That’s my boy. I’m proud of you.” He kisses Lio’s cheek and then puts him back on the blades, holding his little hands as he Charlie Browns across the ice. 

“Looking good!” I call in encouragement after the 15 minutes it takes for them to round the ice once. Timo is laughing. “Babe, let him go and see if he can get his balance by himself.” 

Timo does, noticing that Lio can do it relatively well on his own. He can shuffle a few feet before Timo is stabling him again. 

“Maybe Nico was right.” Timo murmurs as he brings Lio to the bench door to take a break. “1st overall looks like a possibility.”

“He’s three.” Emma laughs, dismissing the idea. “Don’t put that pressure on him. He’s already going to have enough wearing that last name with Hischier blood.”

Timo’s eyes roll at the last part.

“He can be whatever he wants to be.” Timo ruffles Lio’s hair after I take his helmet off. “Did you have fun?” Lio nods around the aggressive drinking from his water bottle. “Good. Hockey is supposed to be fun. Remember that.” Lio nods again. Timo chuckles, focusing back on me.

“You take that test yet?” I shake my head no. “Wanna know if I’m right.” He leans his forearms on the boards. I step towards him to press our lips together. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, lathering his tongue across it sweetly. 

“I will tonight.” I promise him, holding his neck. I scratch at his scalp with my gel nails. 

“Kay. If it’s negative, we jump back into bed, eh?” 

“Are we trying? Cause I consider this another oops.” Timo squints like he doesn’t quite believe that.

“You + me + beer = babies. When will we learn?”

“Hopefully never.” His hand drifts down to grab a handful of my ass. “You ready again buddy?” He asks Lio while kissing me. 

“Yuh!”

“Let’s go!” Timo cheers, giving my butt a final tap before my boys are out on the ice for another round. 

#lio & lucie #TM: Loving & Leaving

[cat-esper]

Past/Current/Next Tag

Hey, thanks for the tag, @pb-dot!

Rules: Write about three WIPs, past is a WIP you stopped working on/finished; current is a WIP you're currently working on; next is a WIP you want to write.

Tagging (no pressure): @awleeofficial, @writeouswriter, and @chiefwritesbook

Past: None of my WIPs that I intend to publish are technically complete due to procrastination (editing my beloathed) so I'll dredge up an old WIP that has been shelved permanently, The Void Drums. This one is sort of Jackaby meets Pirates of the Caribbean with dark, gothic horror vibes. Calixto, a young man from another dimension, is tasked by the villainous Lord Governor with retrieving the Fractal Glaive, an artifact of great value and power. In exchange, he will not be sentenced to a fate worse than death for his crimes. He has no choice but to accept, though of course, he plans on finding the weapon and running off with it the first chance he gets. Meanwhile, in our world in the late 19th century, Emily, the daughter of a forensics expert recently fallen ill, investigates gruesome murders that leave very little of the body behind. Their paths cross and it becomes evident that the murders are caused by creatures from Calixto's home and that they have something to do with the Glaive. There's body horror, there's layers of betrayal, and since this story will never see the light of day, I don't see why I shouldn't reveal that this whole plot is a trap, the key to finding the Glaive involves realizing that Calixto's memories were erased and he was the one who hid it in the first place, and everything ends horribly with the villain winning, yay.

Anywho, here's a snippet (cw: body horror):

He shut the door and Emily bristled. She knocked again but there was no answer. “Detective Harkins, please!” She huffed, pounded harder but it made no difference. He was being ridiculously stubborn and she couldn’t believe this was happening. “Damn it,” she muttered under her breath. Calixto sighed. “What does it look like?” Emily glared at him. He could have helped instead of standing there looking like a vagabond. “What?” Calixto pushed himself off the wall. “The journal. What does it look like?” “Like a journal,” Emily said bluntly. And then she sighed. It was Harkins she was mad at, not Calixto. He was just easier to get at at the moment. “It’s black leather, a bit worn and it’s got a red ribbon tucked into the pages.” “I’ll get it for you.” Emily narrowed her eyes. “And how are you going to do that?” As satisfying as it would be to break down the door, she’d probably get arrested. Calixto smirked. “You’ll want to look away.” “Why?” Calixto didn’t wait for her to turn her back. At first she couldn’t tell what was wrong with him, only that something was. He seemed to go just slightly out of focus and trying to watch him gave her a headache which pulsed softly at her temples. She was staring straight into his eyes when it happened. They seemed almost to unfold into a blossom of fractals, eyes within eyes within eyes, an infinite regression that made her lose her balance. But it wasn’t just his eyes. It was every part of him. She caught glimpses of muscle superimposed over skin and bone on top of that but under it at the same time. Nausea swept through her and she doubled over, afraid she was going to be sick right there on the floor. “I told you not to look,” the voice came from so many miles away but she stayed hunched over, her head hurting, her pulse pounding, putting all her concentration into breathing slowly and steadily, praying for the feeling to pass. A journal fell to the floor at her feet, the piece of ribbon sticking out of it. She refused to look up. “You can get up now. You’ll be fine.” Emily was already starting to get her nausea under control and she carefully looked up, afraid she would once again see all those impossible angles and planes and they’d make her sick for real this time. But when she looked up, it was just Calixto standing there, as human-looking as anyone else, staring down at her with sharp, albeit normal, eyes. She winced and stooped to pick up the journal. “What are you?” she managed to get out. “Oh, I'm as human as you," Calixto replied. "Just from...elsewhere." What a lie. “And the journal?” A quick check inside assured her it was the right one. But Harkins would have kept it in his desk. “Nothing in your dimension is hidden from me,” Calixto said. “I simply took a detour through 5-Space and plucked the journal out from inside the desk. Harkins was there but he could not see me. He won’t realize it’s missing until he checks for it.”

Current: I'm working on so many WIPs at once, but my absolute favorite is Project Paladin, a 12 book YA science fantasy series. Chelsea Seaver watched her parents being abducted by aliens and she's determined to get them back. Her investigation quickly leads her through a portal to an alien world where she falls in with a group of characters at odds with the Syndicate responsible for her parents' abduction for reasons unknown. She becomes a student of the last remaining Paladin, Shay Finnegan, and the series follows her adventures through space (and occasionally time). She collects many friends along the way as well as some powerful enemies.

Here's a snippet from Book 2:

“They’re kinda like puppies,” Alexos relented, laughing. “The poor little guys. We should name them.” “Name them?” Alexos put the paper bag of wrapped fish meat on the counter. “Do we cook this stuff or what?” “No, they eat it raw,” Kovna said. “Yeah.” Chelsea put their newly acquired plates down next to the fish. “Drat. Forgot to get a knife. That way we’ll have something to call them. Since we’re babysitting them and all. There’s three of them and three of us so we each get to name one.” “Mine’s Hieronymus Bosch,” Alexos said promptly. Chelsea raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you even know who that is?” “Yeah. A guy with a ridiculous name. Your turn.” “Well which one’s Hieronymus?” Alexos thought for a moment and then pointed to the dragon that was currently trying to chew on its sibling’s tail. “That guy.” “That one’s the female,” Kovna corrected. “How do you know?” Chelsea snickered. “How do you think?” “Well. Hieronymus is a gender-neutral name.” “Whatever.” Chelsea picked up the dragon that was having its tail chewed on. He was still warm from the oven. He kicked his feet a couple of times until she had her arms under him and then he stared at her with his snake-like face framed by bristling feathers. His eyes were dark and round and she could see her reflection in them. He would need a good name. Something majestic. “This one’s Falkor,” she announced. “Falkor who?” Chelsea cradled the dragon against her chest. “From The Neverending Story. Plus they’ve both got feathers.” “Okay, nerd. 612, what are you naming yours?” Kovna looked at the last remaining baby, who was sniffing around the water bowls. “You can name him.” “Come on,” Chelsea said. “If it weren’t for you, they’d be sick. It’s fair.” “I wasn’t programmed to have an imagination.” Chelsea placed Falkor back on the floor and scooped up the third dragon, bringing him over to Kovna. “Come on, look at him. He’s so cute but so sad. Look at his eyes. What do his eyes tell you?” She held the dragon so it was staring in Kovna’s direction. “Um.” Kovna looked as if he’d just been called on in class and didn’t have an answer to the teacher’s question. He stared at the dragon in bafflement and then said, “Ben?” Chelsea grinned. “Ben it is.” “Hieronymus, Falkor, and Ben. What a trio,” Alexos said.

Future: This one is so hard to choose because I have a million ideas and I want to write them all and it doesn't help that the line between WIP I'm sorta kinda working on in the background and Future Project is very wibbly.

One I'm really excited about is a 4-part horror fantasy series that's sort of urban fantasy inspired by the Left Right Game. The premise is that every so often, the Road to Avalon opens and all those who brave it and reach its end will have a wish granted. But the Road is fraught with danger and haunted by 4 eldritch gatekeepers. No one has ever returned. Our main players are Leslie, a vampire who once braved the Road in a failed attempt to rid himself of his vampirism and is the only person to have ever returned; Ticua, a sprite from the West Rattlesnake Clan who tries to convince Leslie to be the caravan's guide now that the Road is about to open again; Bug, a fox wilding (that's like a reverse shapeshifter; she was born a fox but has the ability to transform into a human due to being born on a leyline), who unknowingly absorbed the map Leslie buried because he stupidly buried it on said leyline and it got washed "downstream"; and Dauntless, a Luminary (that's a sentient hologram projected by a swarm of drones) hired to kill Leslie, but decides that braving the Road is much more interesting.

#past current next tag game #tag games #the void drums #project avalon #the last paladin

[ageless-aislynn]

I took a couple of weeks off from trying to finish that last level of Halo ODST, the Evil Incarnate known as Coastal Highway, because it was straight up frustrating me that I couldn’t find a strategy that would get me through it. I mean, come on, fam, I did a deathless run on Heroic in The Library! I did Two Betrayals on Legendary! I did frickin’ Gravemind on Legendary (I even got the frick frackin’ PAR TIME on Gravemind which was utter ridiculousness to do)! I beat the Prophet of Regret on Legendary even though it took me a week or so of trying. I managed to get the achievement where you have to kill every Elite on the level Keyes on Heroic and do you have any idea how many Elites HIDE on that level??? Did you know there’s a pair of Hunters in a back corridor fighting the Flood towards the end? Because I didn’t know that until I had to start searching all of the corridors on all of the levels, looking for Elites, and instead I found that battle going on. I even turned a random corner and found half a dozen Flood just standing there chillin’ like they were having a little brunch party with tea and tiny cucumber sandwiches or something, lol! 😱😂 They all turned and looked at me like “What? 🤷‍♀️” before they attacked, lol!

Anyway, point being, up until ODST’s Coastal Highway on Legendary, I’d managed to find a way to finally get through, even if it took a lot of tries. But CH being an escort mission where I swear Dare and Virgil die if somebody looks at them too much...

...and if you rush ahead to try and clear the path for them, then YOU die if somebody looks at you too much...

...nothing worked. There are 12 SECTIONS TO THAT HIGHWAY ZOMG. And the hardest one, where you get Banshees, Ghosts AND infantry all attacking you and your fragile escortee (word of the day 😛) but if you make it to the next “garage” you get the tank, you think, yay, I’m out of the woods! NOOOOOO, you get the tank but there’s no checkpoint. If you die before the tank makes it to the NEXT garage area, you go back and have to fight the Banshees et al in Gauss hog again! And you want to commit absolute murder.

That was the point where I threw my hands in the air and thought, yeah, I don’t think I can get this one. And I moved on to Reach and got all of the achievements I could for it (there are a bunch that turned out to be only for multiplayer, unfortunately 😕). But now I’m done with Reach for the most part and was sitting here recuperating from being sick and I thought, Hm, maybe somebody has some different tutorials or something out there that I missed on Youtube? And fam, I found one!!!

MythicTyrant has some different strategies than from some of the other tutorials I’ve seen but the main thing that made a difference to me was where he said to get through this mission, you have to achieve balance between protecting yourself and protecting Dare and Virgil in the Olifant. When you’re taking too much damage, hang back and bail out of the Warthog/Gauss hog and let Buck keep shooting on the turret (the ‘hogs are invincible when Buck is the only one in them because HE’S invincible). When the Olifant starts taking too much damage, push forward and again bail out and let them target Buck because he’ll be fine.

Fam. This was the strategy I needed to hear. I literally wrote notes down and propped them up in front of me so I could remember what was coming with the next section once I left each garage, which way I needed to go, whether to push forward immediately or hang back, etc.

And, finally, at loooooonnnnnngggg last...

... I made it! Once I got off that dang highway, the final battle was a piece of cake! (Ais’ Tip of the Day if you’re ever having trouble with the final fight: use the tank. It can’t go through the opening but you can push the abandoned car over, use it as a ramp and stick the front of the tank through. As long as it’s there, that’s breaking the barrier that otherwise won’t let you return. Then as the waves of enemies come in, retreat to the tank, back it up so that nobody can kill your precious and hide it part of the way in the tunnel where just the turret can shoot out the openings. Then BLAST ‘EM OFF THE PLANET. It works, frens! Oh and be sure to give Buck and Dare either rocket launchers or fuel rod guns before the fight begins. They are BOSS with those and will take out anybody who gets near them. Virgil will be safe and sound behind them.)

Mannnn, I’m so happy with this one! I mean, I’m happy with all of them but this one I had to really struggle and grind away for. Heh, all that work just to get a little banner to light up, lol. But, darn it, it’s MY little banner and it means something to me!

(I really need to make some more Halo GIFs, lol.)

Anyway, since getting sick derailed all of my plans, I didn’t get any more writing done like I’d hoped, so everything will now be folded into my NaNoWriMo, which will be starting on Nov 1. I’m not planning on starting Halo 3 until after NaNo, but instead will just go back and play CE, 2, Reach and ODST for fun now. Yay, I remember fun, lol! 😉

Love to you all and hope you’re all doing well. 💖

#halo #halo 3: odst #halo odst #sweet mother of pearl #this was terribly difficult! #this is my game tag #ageless aislynn

[infiniteorangethethird]

Hellooooo hi, I'm too lazy to scroll yeah

Can you tell me a bit about your paracosm? :3

A bit? Nope, sorry, no can do, I can only tell you a metric fuck TON about my paracosm. Hope ur prepared for an infodump >:)

Sooooo uh. There’s a lot to talk abt (because I don’t know how to shut up) so let me break it up a little. Setting-wise, the story’s set in a fantasy version of Earth, where the most important difference (aside from the presence of magic) is that if someone writes a story and enough people read it, the story becomes real in a parallel dimension. I originally thought of this as a way to explain how my OCs could meet with the characters from my favorite shows/books, nowadays it’s both a mechanic that facilitates the story and (recently more frequently) the focus and source of conflict.

Because of the setting, aside from the numerous stolen characters from other media and reworked versions of said stolen characters, there’s obviously a lot of magic going around with a fuckton of places to visit and even more magical species to populate the world and wield said magic – “angels”, demons, shapeshifters, monsters, gods, you name it. Most of my paras are non-human and those who are also tend to have non-human ancestry or some kind of extra magical power (what’s the point of fantasy without fantasy, yknow?). But also, because I have a weird obsession with Organizing and Putting Things In Boxes, I have the physics of magic worked out to an absurd detail, feel free to shoot me an ask abt it if you want to be bored to death :D

Plot-wise… well. I would summarize the story, I actually HAVE a pretty decent summary, but it’s like, 100+ pages (50k+ words if I recall correctly), and I’m pretty sure tumblr would not Like That (and this version’s not even up to date), so. There used to be a lot of exploration of the world (aka me integrating my current interests into my paracosm because I can), nowadays it’s a lot more character-focused, with the plot revolving around 15-ish “main” paras and their lives. Which can be anything from “I can finally go to college and study the stuff I wanna study! Yay!” to “oh god oh fuck I’m a general in a multidimensional war and thousands are dead if I make the wrong move” so. There’s a lot of throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. (I am a sucker for big epic fights tho so that happens a lot lol)

Thematically, I like to focus on the inner worlds of my paras and how they relate to the world around them. Each of them come from different backgrounds with different perspectives so any time I wanna explore a concept I can just pick whoever falls closest to that (like, “oh THIS one was abandoned by their family but THIS one is a stable father figure, found family trope go brrr” just to name an example). There’s a lot of hurt/comfort generally speaking, heavy on the emotional angst and, because I’m a secret whump enjoyer, there also tends to be a lot of blood. Like a lot. (Dw I always balance it out with some old-fashioned “finding peace in each other’s presence” daydreams, especially soft and cuddly.) Oh yeah and also everyone’s gay but that’s pretty much expected at this point.

Sometimes I also like to wonder about the morality of certain aspects of this universe, since the setting and world is so different from ours, but ig that’s a topic for another day haha

Anyway yeah that’s as short as I could get it 😅 it’s a bit hard to talk about my paracosm as a whole because it’s so old and as a result incredibly widespread. I do have a sideblog dedicated to it but tbh I haven’t really touched it in ages so what little info it has is probably outdated. Idk what else to say, if there’s any part you’d want me to go into greater detail feel free to ask (I know ppl mostly only care about the paras which, fair, but when it comes to talking abt my paracosm practically any topic is free for the asking lol), and sorry for the long ramble haha

Bonus doodle of one of my paras (Rowena) I did like a day ago

#paraportal #the orange dimension #<- had to come up w a tag for my paracosm lol #my art #para: Rowena

[cherrywoodmaeg]

Shortcut Pt. 14

Successfully survived exams, and then I had a holiday in the Netherlands. Yay, inspiration!

Also shoutout to my nurse-turned-med-student partner for fact checking <3

An appointment

For the entirety of the next hours walking, Niphka preoccupied herself with holding Jon as steady as possible. Instead of sitting on her extended hand, he was now leaning against her leather chestpiece while she held him upright. That way, she couldn’t balance out as many bumps in her movement, but Jon had reassured her that he’d been tossed around much worse on the HMS Triumph. Instead, he preferred to stay close to her, as to not be as exposed in mid-air.

She knew that the cause of all her complicated thoughts was her friendship to him. Still, she was drawn closer. She wanted to understand the way he thought, since he seemed to be so good at finding the right words to calm down her racing mind.

It’s been a long, long time since someone did that.

As the sun began to set, her mind wandered to the dawning night. Granted, it felt like the rift between the two of them was closing. But perhaps that was precisely why she was concerned it might rip open again.

Didn’t he ask me to trust him?

“You look like there’s something on your mind,” she heard Jon remark. Niphka paused to look down.

“I’m just thinking about tonight. I don’t want you to wake up like last time.”

He squeezed her index finger.

“What happened- it’s not going to happen again.”

“You cannot know that.”

“Stop worrying about me,” he groaned. “What about you? You haven’t gotten much sleep either, have you?”

“No,” she admitted. “I guess both of us need some recovering. Speaking of which, how is your leg doing?”

He sucked in the air through his teeth. It took a moment before he answered.

“Not good, to be honest. It’s looking better, the bruises and all, but it still hurts a lot. If I didn’t have you, I honestly wouldn’t know how to get from A to B.”

“Can I take another look? Before it’s too dark?

He nodded, and Niphka sat on her knees, after which she put him down. When she let go, however, he stumbled and nearly fell before she could catch him with her left hand.

“Careful!”

Without saying anything, Jon held onto her finger as she slowly helped him into a seating position. He pulled up his pant leg.

Niphka knew better than to touch him. Once again, she cursed her eyes for not allowing her to see. But by how Jon was moving alone, she could tell that something was wrong. He needed help.

“Absolutely not.”

“Alright, I’ll stay here, then. But have to get someone to treat that.”

Jon couldn’t believe it. Only half an hour after their last break, Niphka had stopped again – in a place uncomfortably close to the nightlights of civilization. And now, she wanted to interrupt their mission!

“I don’t want you to stay very long. But you’re helping no one by dying from an infection!”

“We don’t know if it’s infected!” Jon protested, although he knew she was right. Before Niphka could continue to lecture him, he admitted defeat.

“But if I’m going, I’m going by myself!” he stated, and that was that. She helped him to find a fitting stick to use as a crutch. He allowed her to bring him to the nearest road leading into town, under the condition that right after, she would stay hidden until he returned. Jon didn’t have to be a mind reader to know how little she liked that.

They said goodbye and he started to hike. The sun had fully set when he arrived on the streets. There was no one to see outside, and Jon was relieved by that. He wasn’t keen on drawing too much attention, with the rough condition of his clothes (and himself).

Behind one of the doors, he heard loud voices. Above the dirty windows of the run-down two-story house, the wooden letters RED TULIP - TAVERN marked this place to be just what he was looking for. Jon entered.

He was greeted by a surprisingly tidy room full of tables. Some of them were occupied by a wide range of different people. Most of them seemed friendly, a few workers enjoying their aftershift beer. Other guests seemed more reserved and eyed Jon sceptically. Behind the counter, a man in his sixties restocked the shelves with bottles of liquor. Floor to wall to ceiling, the warm wooden panelling was illuminated by the centerpiece of the room: a large brick fireplace.

“Blackberry cider, coming up,” the bartender announced. “And what can I get you, young man?”

Jon had chosen the outer left barstool.

“I’ll have the same.”

He looked around. Most of the other people had lost their interest in him almost immediately and returned to their private conversations. Two of them, a man and a woman sitting near the fireplace, kept looking at him. Against the light, he couldn’t make out much more.

“There you go!” The white-haired man placed a brown, rectangular glass filled with a dark purple liquid in front of him. Jon suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, by the way, do you take this currency?”

He handed over one of the coins that Ida had given him. The man’s eyes widened.

“Young man, for that, I can get you a little more than a glass of cider!”

Good to know.

“I’d be more than happy to leave some of that here, but I need it to pay a doctor. Can you tell me where I can find one? One that is... uncomplicated?”

“Well, I don’t know if ‘uncomplicated’ is the right word, but if you don’t want any trouble, I’d send you to Dr. van Zijl. He works downtown, but he lives a few houses down the street. Hideous yellow door, you can’t miss it.”

“Thank you. Keep that,” Jon added when the man wanted to return the coin.

He emptied his glass. The warmth of the room felt good after the cool outside air. However, he hoped that he could speak to the physician that same evening, so didn’t allow himself to waste more time.

The yellow door was indeed impossible to look past. It was the house’s only distinctive feature in a row of traditional brick houses, and it seemed to be enough of an identifying feature – there was neither a house number nor a name plate anywhere to be seen. A large iron-cast doorbell was the only decorative piece of the front porch. Jon rang.

The door immediately opened.

“Yes?”

A man, almost as wide as he was tall, stood behind the frame. He had black curly hair and a short stubbly, greying beard. He must’ve entered not long before and still carried his white coat over one arm.

“Yes, hello, my name is Jonathan Williams. Dr. van Zijl?”

“The same. How can I help you?”

Jon nodded towards his leg. “I know you’re not at work right now, but the bartender at the Red Tulip told me I could see you tonight. I’m afraid I don’t have too much time.”

“Who among us does?” Van Zijl sighed, but to a step back to let Jon enter. He continued to talk as he led him into a large living room. Contrary to the simplistic outside appearance of the house, the inside was lavishly decorated with all kinds of paraphernalia from all over the world. Most of it was hidden between countless plants, each pot more colourful than the other.

“Bram sent you?” Jon noticed the doctor’s coastal accent. “You know, he does this to mess with me. Trying to keep me busy so I don’t notice that he stays in for work long.”

He pushed aside two empty ceramic vases, both of them painted in swirly shapes, and invited Jon to take seat on a dark green ottoman. Van Zijl himself sat down on a rocking chair.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened to you, son?”

“That’s- …a long story. Long and complicated, and pretty unbelievable, if you ask me, so…” He trailed off as the doctor raised an eyebrow.

“I thought it was just a sprained ankle, but it’s not getting better.”

“Let me see. When did it happen?”

“Four days ago, I think.” Jon replied as he showed the doctor his leg.

“You think? What have you been doing?”

“Travelling.”

“Alone?”

“With a friend.”

“Good. It’s not safe to travel alone right now. Does it hurt when I push here?”

Jon winced. “Yeah. What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing specific. Just people talking. Now, Jon, it seems that your fibula got cracked.” Van Zijl finished his examination.

“Okay?”

“I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, it has healed quite well. No infections.”

“And the bad news?”

“It healed in the wrong place. Part of the bone is pressing on your nerve, which causes the pain.”

“Oh. Can you do anything about that?”

“Oh yes, I can.”

“More good news, then?”

The doctor gave him a sympathetic smile. Jon didn’t like that at all.

“Not for you, I’m afraid.”

Part 13 < Part 14

#g/t #g/t writing #giant/tiny #g/t story #original characters #shortcut g/t #sfw g/t #size difference #Jon's going on a solo adventure in this one

[chaseyesterdays]

❤️🎁 for the ask game?

Hi Anon! Thanks for playing! 🤩

❤️: I tend to have little snippets of lines in each short story/fic I write that stick with me, but the one I’m proudest of right now is in “if i love you more in morning (or I love you more at night)”:

“He watches her eyes search him for a split second before she moves, her lips seeking his like a touchstone, and he is lost, the heat of her a beacon in the dark, chasing her like the moon trails the sun, cyclical and unending — follows her, wherever she leads, holds her as close as he dares, conscious only of everything she is, all hard edges and soft corners, unafraid of catching his fingers on the sharpness in her because he is made of broken things.”

I really felt like that line struck the balance I wanted between atmospheric tenderness and character introspection, because Percy cannot turn his goddamn brain off to save him and he knows all too well that Vex carries her own damage. He may think he’s irredeemable, but he’s seen enough darkness to know how to support her through her own — after all, if glass is already broken, why would it fear the sharpness of shards from another pane? 🤷‍♀️

🎁: Oh my sweet summer child, I’ve got a thousand more WIPs than I have finished fics at this point (because I’m a perfectionist and I can’t just…finish anything like a sane person, whoops). This is part of one that has just about driven me to the point of banging my head against a wall, but I think I’ve figured out how to get around what’s thwarting me in it so… yay?

“Vex’ahlia is no stranger to death. No stranger to things she can’t fix. But it’s not about fixing — maybe it’s never been about fixing, but about what can be saved, about staring into the void and sinking teeth into what’s precious, gripping those thin gold threads tight and tugging, finding out what death is to do when it is made to give someone back.

(Sometimes there are things we just can’t fix, her mother said. Her mother and that little bird are dead, but she is here, stubborn and unyielding, staring into the face of someone she laid down her defenses to save.

She watches his lips form around the syllables of her name, viridian eyes moon-smeared in the darkness.

No matter what price she paid, she thinks she’ll be damned before she lets someone she loves go without a fight.)”

Maybe the ask game will finally be the kick in the ass I need to finish that one whoops I am but a humble garbage can and I’m trying

#anyways thank you so much Anon I had so much fun and I hope you enjoy this!☺️ #ask me things! #tlovm fic #critical role fic #perc’ahlia #the legend of vox machina #vex’ahlia #percy de rolo #forcie (still) writes #adventures of a panic stricken word nerd

[boundinparchment]

Hii I really love your works and the way you write it's literally so addicting, I can't get enough of the way you characterized dottore!! you did an amazing job

Also, if you're ok with it, would you mind sharing a bit about your own process of writing/give some advice? I have my own story and ideas but I just have a difficult time putting the whole thing into words, idk why

If not that's totally fine, I hope you take care of yourself and have an amazing day/night<3

I try to stick to as much canon characterization as possible, however little of it we have. I’m glad you’re enjoying so far and I hope I’m able to keep the good doctor in check as far as his personality!

I’m no professional, that’s for sure, but:

Write when you can, as much as you can. Some people prefer to work in chronological order, others hop around, but it’s important to establish it as a habit in general. I find that once it’s part of my day, it’s a little easier to start throughout the week. Do you only write 100 words? Okay, that’s progress! Did you write 2,000? Yay, also progress! (I follow this when I can; right now, I’m a bit off the rails of my routine in an attempt to find gym time).

Usually, if I can’t get started, I’ll just start writing the scene that comes to mind, even if it’s shit and not where i am in the story. It gets the concept out and makes it a little more tangible to work with. It also just straight up helps you start because your brain is already there. Everything is a draft to be edited and revised, it will never feel perfect the first time. It shouldn’t.

Prompts can be helpful if that doesn’t work. I personally only use them for specific purposes but that’s what they exist for. They’re springboards to help get you going.

Having friends or acquaintances online or IRL who write can also be a huge help. It can be motivating to see other people working on fics, and sometimes ideas have to be bounced around outside of your own head to get them to cooperate.

If you intend to share a fic, at the very least have a backlog if the fic isn’t completed. I do not recommend posting as you go unless the method works for you. It can be a one-way ticket to not seeing stories through (speaking from experience there!)

Oh, and read! Do audiobooks, physical, ebooks, whatever, but r e a d. Find books and authors you enjoy, and read whenever you can. It’s tempting to rely on fanfic for this. I recommend not doing so, or at least balancing it out with published books.

Read fanfic by all means, but don’t necessarily use it as your single source of written entertainment.

With fanfiction, headcanons or certain approaches get picked up by others and continued on outside of an author’s sphere, and eventually end up as fanon, as beloved or even completely replacing the canon characterization. Tropes get used and reused, as is their purpose. Fanfiction is a hobby, so everyone does their own thing, and it’s fun, but with few exceptions, it kind of just helps target commonalities and how to continue them or put a slight twist on them.

Published books will provide an idea of structure, pacing, character building and development, world building, etc. They’re completed works that underwent revisions and had a particular vision in mind. If you don’t know where to start, ask a librarian or a bookseller at a local bookstore (basically, ask a person, where you can have a conversation, rather than relying on an algorithm or a list. BookTok is garbage imo, do not rely on it.)

#formatting is shit because of copy/paste will fix later

[silly-plays-p3r]

<< >> *pokes this blog with a stick to see iif it's dead or not* you doin aight? get any farther?

*startled awake* Ah! huh?

Yes. Alive. TT0TT Just haven't had a chance to play. u_u (stuff is stuffing regardless if I want it to or not, in another week I'll be going on vaycay for a week so.......well I'll probs get farther on my Steam Deck ver but I'm still in April there fjdklsajf TT0TT).

Wait no, slight lie. We got to play once (a week ago?). We got the Kyoto trip (Bebe was there! Yay!). The slap happened tho (NOOOO BOOOO! D:<), and from what I remember it was even more uncalled for than the other versions. So yeah that solidified that "no matter how nice you make Yukari sound, her actions still piss me the fuck off"

Anyway hot spring scene, Junpei still a doucher. REALLY WEIRD they changed it???? Felt more like a 3D ver of P3P's for some reason???? (i don't usually play the male's side with P3P so I don't have it as memorized as the FeMC side or 3/FES vers). Like???? You removed the ONE kinda cool thing about P3's hot spring scene and it was the interaction! P3P gets a pass because it's in VN style so it's choices. But what's P3R's excuse???? TT0TT Why did you get rid of the interaction in exchange for dialogue choices????

They also changed the ending porting iirc.....? Maybe there's more than 2 endings. But it did make me go like...."why?"

I think it's the movie's influence again, I successfully got out, we made a break for the entrance. But unlike the movie they all got out, with Junpei/Ryo fainting by the entrance rather than in the hot spring itself.

I......don't really see the need to change it tbh, it made more sense for Junpei/Ryo to faint while we waited out IN the hot spring...but maaaaybe there's other routes and I just didn't see them. I'll have to find out later when I.....reload it. BU

Anyway, Chidori died. Junpei was sad. I was apathetic as usual. I think I'm in Tartarus now.

Maybe I'll play more this week. Maybe I'll nut up and try to play Fortnite (I hate multiplayer games with a passion), but I want the Korra stuff. ;w; Do I have to play PVP to do the battle pass? Can't I just do PVE? (sorry off topic, but that's my dilemma atm). Gonna be honest, I thought Persona would get me into that damned game, but nope. TT0TT Korra beat them to it

Oh back to P3R round up.....I did get to start Mitsu's SL! :D

I think my line up of SLs is looking pretty snazzy, I might max them all!

I do think P3R could've given us a LITTLE more wiggle room. Couldn't give us that lil URL thing a biiiiit sooner? >_> Just make it more expensive for crying out loud! That should balance it!

Of course maybe they didn't do that so they could cover up for the (still?) lack of mini games in the damn game (really? you couldn't copy and paste the P5 fishing game???? I see a damn pier in the background while I'm on the school rooftop! TT0TT)

At least I'm pretty sure I haven't seen a mini game around flkdjasflkja

Anyway that's my P3R round up! ....WAIT! ONE MORE THING! jklsdjf;ksaf

This didn't happen to me. But my friend/ex-coworker is playing it on gamepass and kfljasdlkfjkajf jklfdsjafl;jak snnnnnrrrkkk dfkslfjlk;ajfljafl

He had like 90 some hours in it and......he got booted back to the tutorial day TT0TT And is back to level 1 kfdljasklfj;alf

He asked me what happened and I was like "????? I dunno man??? TT0TT Never happened to me before fjdklasjfl this wouldn't happen if you did the PS2/PSP vers jsdklafj Maybe it's gamepass??? You sure it's not NG+? Did you leave it running"

"No!"

So he could be messing with me, or he got a weird glitch but rip to him if true. u_u If it was a glitch, wow Atlus/Xbox wow fkdjsal;fjkadjf

#silly asks #silly answers #it all depends on what my bf wants to do #if he's playing his own games then I'm doing my own thing #which is either some project for myself or going through my backlog #korra just came out so that's on my to-do list tho #well on the BRIGHT SIDE....if Persona ever does come to fortnite I'll know where to go instead of floundering like I am atm kdsljflka

[gratitudegainsclub]

Feb 15 2023

- grateful for me! My life! My talents! All my strengths! My personality! My perseverance! My motivation! My introspection! My youth! My optimism! I feel grateful and loving for who I am today. These feelings are the best and I’ve had them before but sometimes I get out of touch with them. It’s helpful to get outside perspective sometimes because when I compare internally I just never reach a point of satisfaction I suppose. But I’m grateful for all the balance and diverse aspects I integrate into my life. Sporty, but also smart and hardworking, but also a potato with sleep, but also goes clubbing, but also hangs with people who are mild and soft, but also loves to be loud, but also doesn’t talk in class, but also has independence but also has a steady long term relationship. I’m proud of myself for just living true to who I am instead of in a box. I’m proud of the journey of constantly peeling back layers and learning what feels natural for me, and reminding myself that no one can dictate that for me otherwise. Grateful for LIFE! And this feeling of self appreciation! Self empowerment! Radical self acceptance!

- grateful for being amazed as always by women’s health, c sections today were incredible to watch and I can’t believe so commonly done in modern society. That shit was absolutely insane. As surgery is in general. But I’m grateful for this elective and the opportunity to learn medicine! Also is a nice reminder when people outside of healthcare go “omg my stomach I could never do what you do” I’m like wow yes this is a skill! Also grateful for my competence as always, suturing and knot tying comes pretty easily and I’m proud of that!!

- grateful for tennis with Jenn and being able to check in with her in the midst of everything going wrong. I’m glad I can offer support and tidbits of loving perspective that I hope at least remind her for a brief bit that she will be ok. Grateful for us having a good and humorous attitude with a bad day of tennis, even though we both understood the frustration. Our dynamic works so well together and I really really enjoy her company! So loving, so supportive, so silly (she always likes my grunting noises I naturally make)

- grateful for question banks making studying so easy and efficient. Grateful I find test taking kinda fun lol cause my pride is on the line w how well I do. And then when I get it wrong it always sticks with me because it teaches me something new. Active learning is quite fun!

- grateful for solo runs and studying podcasts that help take my mind off! I ran fast and it was hard but hi was proud of myself and also grateful I listened to my body when it felt weird and needed a break midway. Yay exercise

- grateful for seeing ahma at the y and her being in a good mood these days! She was peppy and served me her assortment of food for dinner and then we stopped by her friends house to pick up dress pants and then when we arrived she was telling me her latest story of trying to get her friends jacket zipper tailored by another friend. She’s so fun when she’s chatty and I love her so much! Grateful to feel this kind of deep love, grateful for her health and independence at frickin age 82?! Grateful for being close by and being able to spend time with her every few weeks, so much it feels like regular programming. Grateful for her serving such healthy foods for me that I never feel guilty after the meal. Ugh so much love

- grateful for coming home and having an alone evening! Meal prepped, unloaded “groceries” (ahmas food lol), watched greys anatomy. It was peaceful and I didn’t feel pressure to free up my time and be around Andy cause we unspokenly did our own things.

- grateful for Andy noticing when he came in bed “your feet are so cold!” And then tucking them into his thighs even though I told him he didn’t have to. Why is he so kind 🥺

- grateful for recognizing that I’m on an upswing and it may be related to getting off TikTok and making the healthy decision for myself to stay off of it!!!! Self discipline

GRATEFUL!!!! FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

- health gratitude: didn’t eat more than one chocolate Andy left out for me today, didn’t eat too heavy of a lunch, threw away extra bread, potatoes, and chocolate before I could think about it too much during dinner!

[darcelle-medlyn-qut]

Artist Interview + Research | Finn Cossar

This is a transcribed interview I conducted over the phone with my primary school friend and now artist Finn Cossar.

How would you best describe your practice?

The best way to describe it is a snowballing kind of scenario where you create one sculpture, and then in the process of creating that sculpture is where you get ideas for the next one. So, it snowballs off each sculpture, it’s kind of like a journey. Ever since I submitted my first one about 4 years ago it’s been like a snowballing thing. Where you get ideas and develop those idea until you eventually have the money to buy the materials and bring them to life.

From what I can see, your work seems to have a strong connection to the environment and nature. What particularly interests you about that and how do you make those connections in your work?

I think a lot of it has to do with the big fact of global warming and environmental messages regarding species or that kind of stuff. That’s usually my thing that I stick with. Once I find a niche pocket that I want to explore into that broad kind of scenario, that’s when I’ll start narrowing down what message it is. I kind of start off creating a sculpture knowing that I want kind of a broad meaning around it, and as I’m making it I’m coming up with different message that are kind of being spoken as it’s being made. It kind of evolves as you make it. The environmental factor is just kind of always there, but it becomes more niche as it comes closer to completion.

Would you say that the materials you use are intentional with the messages you’re trying to get across? Or do you just work with what you have?

Yeah so the materials, they’re always metal because I really like the idea of the sculptures lasting. I always try to make them out of something that’s at least going to live longer than I will. So, it’s like a message that it has more of a voice than I will.

Like a legacy?

Yeah it’s like if you want to spread a message you only have 60 years in good health to do it but if you do it through a sculpture you have it spread for up for 200 years. It’s thinking about it more mechanically I guess.

You mostly work with  metal; how do you do that? Do you have a studio?

Um I have a shed. I have a one car garage and basically I have my welder, a big hunk of wood and a hammer and you just bang on the metal until it does what you want it to do. Or you weld bits or cut bits out and melt bits and yeah so that’s kind of the way it goes.

Would you say that’s pretty self-taught?

Yeah it’s all self-taught, I haven’t done any trades. It’s you know, trial and error or as you save up more money over the years you start to buy tools that work better. Like I upgraded my welder, and I was then able to make bigger things.

When you get one of those ideas for the next work, do you make plans for that work (eg. Sketch up?)

It’s starts with the initial concept that’s often just a quick doodle just to get it on paper and I’ll go see my dad and get him to draw it up and then ate least people (instead of me rambling my idea) I can show them a photo of what I’m talking about. And then once it’s a yay or nay, I just start buying metal and get going.

You do it all by hand then?

Oh, there’s some things where if it’s I need to weld aluminium I’ll go get a blacksmith to do it. Or certain materials that you kind of have to buy and shape. So, it’s 90% by hand.

If you have any, what key elements are you thinking of when you make these sculptures (balance, form, movement)?

Yeah I think the key thing I’m thinking of is, it’s existence. So, I’m thinking of over the years how is this going to interact with its nature. Then that opens up a whole new world, where if it’s on the beach are there going to be tornados that are going to rip through in 2 years’ time. It’s very technical thinking and  then also you don’t want it to be so technical that it’s boring. There’s also that creative bit where it’s like what will people look at it. I kind of imagine you know seeing it for the first time and what will people reactions be when they first see it, and will they get what I’m talking about or will they think I’m a nutcase. That’s kind of it.

So, you’re a bit of a logistical thinker?

Yeah but not too much, like it needs to be logistical when you’re working with very heavy things because you don’t want to crush people. But you also want it to be you know, creative.

What advice would you give to someone starting out in sculpture or trying out more physical/industrial materials?

Um, just don’t be afraid of anything. Just friggen go ham, go hectic. Make it as big as you want, I know so many people over the years like ‘oh gotta watch the size’ like no, fuck that. Do whatever you want. Make it as big as you want and the rest it will all fall into place. If you have an idea to make a sculpture that’s 1cm high, then that’s friggen awesome. If you want to make on that’s 10m high that’s also cool. Find the materials that really resonate with you and then just throw them together until they look cool.