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becauseplot · 8 months

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Staying Level-Headed

You know everyone was looking at qPhil coming back chanting “KILLZA KILLZA KILLZA” and like yeah we all want it, and we sort of got it through the initial chaos: the lava cast over the presidential building, the threats of further action against the Federation. It's not exactly the violent/furious rampage some might've been wanting or expecting, though.

And honestly? I'm glad---because it makes perfect sense.

Since the start, Phil has been very upfront about his thoughts concerning the egg situation. He knew and believed and repeatedly expressed (to his kids, sometimes!) that there was a very good chance they were going to die, or get taken away. He's always been very practical about death and treated it as an inevitable force that can't be evaded. Man, you can trace it back in his character so far. When the Nightmare happens, and Phil is holding a dying Chayanne in his arms, he says something to the effect of, "I'm so sorry, they just don't want you to live in this world."

A fact. A hard, cold, undeinable fact.

Phil is pragmatic. Married to Death. Hinted at having lived a long, long time; seen many things, outlived many people.

He is a survivor. And rule number one of being a survivalist: always be prepared to be faced with the cruel, the unfair, and the unexpected.

So, yes, of course it hurts. He never wanted his kids to be taken away from him---but he's braced for the blow. He has been mentally fortifying himself for a moment like this for months, and on another level, most of his life.

Thus, after he has a moment to allow himself to break, he takes a deep breath and keeps a level head. He talks to Tubbo and Fit, lets them fill him in on the situation, doesn't demand answers they don't have. When they tell him about how the island's president has gone off the deep end, Phil's immediate instinct is to believe the best in Forever and that he must be being manipulated by the Federation in some way. (Seriously! He draws that conclusion so fast! He immediately recognizes Forever as a victim rather than a threat or an enemy, despite Forever's position of power and "emotional unavailability.") And yeah, Phil instagates the lava cast, which is still griefing, but it's a localized, controllable form of griefing that is inflicted upon Federation territory only, and he follows it up with threats of further action with a viable plan. Then, he immediately plunges into an investigation of the old freezer/prison with Tubbo to look for any possible clues left behind.

Look, this isn't to say that the way that qPhilza---or ccPhilza, for that matter---is handling the situation "better" than anyone else, or that the other characters aren’t capable of making rational decisions. All of the other characters' various reactions, breakdowns, retaliations, and quests for answers are believable, well-played, and fascinating. (Like fuck dude the ccs are COOKING right now; and objectively speaking, the mines are pretty goddamn funny lol.) I just want to outline exactly why qPhil's reaction works so, so, so well for his character and why I'm ultimately glad that he didn't go all hyper-murdery, stewing about putting the Federation's heads on a pike or storming the Federation HQ or anything like that.

((Also, it's worth mentioning that all of his plans aren't """perfect""" decisions for the situation! Like his plan to play keep-away with Forever's briefcase of drugs until the effects of his last dose wear off. We know how unstable Forever becomes when the withdrawal starts to set in---he began to panic and pulled a gun on Phil. As terrible as the pills are for him, Forever becomes a danger to himself and the people around him when the medication wears off. He's so fragile right now, so if Phil going to try to get him to go cold-turkey, ideally, Phil would need to do it in a safer environment than just, fucking anywhere. Also Phil's follow-up plan is to assassinate Forever, potentially by taking advantage the apparent trust Forever has in Phil??? Like I get it, desperate times require desperate measures, and it still makes for an interesting story line that I would absolutely gobble up, but OW???? Like qPhil, bestie, are you sure that's the best plan in the long run????? Anyway, I digress.))

So that's about it. I miss my little huevos but I love this arc SO so much and I love pPhil and I have so many thoughts about him and I can't wait to see where this goes. Rambles over. Gn <3

#if this is shit uhhhhhhh blame it on the fact that someone let me have internet access. and i need to go to bed.#dont mind me im just rambling #qsmp philza #qsmp character analysis #qsmp meta #<-kinda?? yeah kinda #q!philza #so fucking nervous i dont usually do long ass character analysis posts like these fuck man how do yall do this all the time. fuck!!#i post my Thoughts and the 287439 demons in my head are like #“youre wrong. youre SO wrong oh my god youre so wrong. delete your blog right now.”

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crowsent · 4 years

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a fuckton of things i want in da4

a few words censored bc tumblr will swallow this in the void if i dont. long ass fuck list ahead

a romanceable dwarf

more romanceable elves/qunari

more elf/qunari/dwarf companions

consistent writing for once

more nb representation

good hair. please just give me good hair options. give me long hair. give me luxurious flowing locks. give me braids. give me good fucking hair options

let me shittalk the chantry

dalish elf npcs that impact the plot in unique ways

dalish elf companions that are proud of being dalish

if it is set in tevinter maybe uh. maybe address the issue of systemic oppression (and slavery) of elves???????

a return of the friendship/rivalry system in da2 but improved. maybe instead of a friendship rivalry sliding scale its friendship/rivalry/animosity sliding scale. bc rivalry is more like. two people pushing each other to be better than they were before. friendly competition. hes an idiot but hes my idiot kind of deal. animosity would be just regular disapproval. i liked the crisis cutscenes in dai so high animosity would be the same as low approval and might make the companion leave still, but theres more variety with high approval. high approval “friendship” would be the “were best friends and we share many opinions and agree on almost everything” while high approval “rivalry” being “we disagree on almost everything but goddamn it youre my friend and ill follow you into the fade if i have to” so you can have a high approval with someone instead of being a kissass

actions and choices having consequences again

multiple endings again (epilogue slideshows dont count)

dialogue wheels with descriptions that match what you actually say

characters from rivain, antiva, anderfels, etc

gifts. bring back the gifts. i want to give my companions gifts

maybe. maybe a focus of non-andrastian religion for once?

let me shittalk the chantry

i know its a stretch, but maybe. diverse skin colours. please?

nd characters that are written respectfully and treated w dignity

please bring back the talent wheel from dao and da2

more bi romance options

more wlw romance options

more mlm romance options

ace romance options

nb romance options

background romances

let me shittalk the chantry

far fetched but maybe a polycule?

i lowkey LOVED the fast-paced feel of da2s combat so maybe bring that back in some form? maybe improved to mesh with the tactics of dai to give players absolute freedom of playstyle whether they want to be like me and rush into every encounter or play more strategically

companions with unique companion abilities

would be nice to explore cities

would be nice if the open world were a little smaller so it doesnt feel empty all the gd time

more mage spells. mages felt like just another class of fighter to me in dai. they dont really have any awe-inducing wow factor like in dao or even da2. if the narrative wants me to believe that mages are powerful and dangerous and that it takes multiple templars to hunt down an apostate, maybe show that? give me strong mages

remove the jump ability. its pointless

a narrative that addresses the oppression that the chantry and templars perpetuated please

bring back the attributes

make the choices in dai matter. mages governing themselves? i wanna see that

let me shittalk the chantry

please bring back the healing magic for fucks sakes

multi-class system between rogues and warriors?

multiple specialisations that feel like specialisations and not just skill tree+

player-only skill trees

hardening

companion quests that affect their abilities and further dialogue

actual morally grey choices instead of this stupid mage freedom vs templar oppression narrative that is in no way morally grey but is presented as such and thus leaves the conflicts and narratives set up by dao and da2 to be fucking meaningless

bring back the tactics

would be nice to have an origins-esque prologue again. maybe one that would determine future events in game just to give your character better narrative cohesion with the plot

an approval/disapproval system but for companions with other companions. bringing certain companions together may bring them closer or make them pissed off with each other which affects banter maybe quests maybe combat

give me a fucking mabari bioware. give me back my fucking mabari

day/night cycle

a nightmare mode where you have to finish the main quest on a time limit. it is absurd that dai expects me to believe that i have all this time to do wartable missions that can take literal real life DAYS to finish and still thwart corypheus’ plans in time. bullshit

that said. no more wartable missions. waiting for a countdown to finish isnt very fun

let me shittalk the chantry

kal-sharok. ive been hearing about it since dao let me fucking see kal-sharok

dwarven politics

politics in general. my fav dao quest was the succession crisis plotline in orzammar/the landsmeet and wewh in dai

npcs i can talk to. even with generic dialogue like in dao. makes the world more alive

using the environment to your advantage. far fetched but i would love to be able to pull down boulders if were in the mountains or freeze water to get to places as a mage

home base customisation but the customisation choices you make actually. mean something. and do something. or at the very least give more companion dialogue/banter/approval change

laconic and ergonomic codexes. like. sorted by what kind of codex it is, etc etc but then you just get a brief summary of the codex and the option to read more about it so i dont spend eternity scrolling through cards looking for a specific codex entry. cool aesthetic dont get me wrong but real irritating to deal with. also. maybe. the pc making comments about the codex if you do read more about it? like a dalish elf saying “they got it all wrong” when reading a codex about dalish elves written by a human??? that would a) give character to the pc b) incentivise people to actually read the codex to see what was so wrong about it c) summarise the codex for people who want to learn the lore but dont want to spent the entire game reading text

maybe have the merchants in your home base close to crafting stations so you dont have to take a fucking hike if you miscounted the amount of elfroot you need?

let me shittalk the chantry

avvar companion maybe??? interesting lore right there

bring back stat requirements for weapons and remove the class restriction for most shit. obviously a dagger would be better for a rogue than a longsword and a mage would do better with a staff than a sword and shield but its not about efficiency. its about the roleplay. its about the options. give me the option to make a mage with wildly inappropriate stat distribution

bring back sustained mode abilities

traps. bring back traps. bring back the option to stealth into an area, trap the fuck out of it, and go from there

have the three available classes in kind of a rock paper scissors scenario. warriors do real well against rogues who do real well against mages who do real well against warriors. so you can plan your party depending on who/what youll face AND how much their approval will change during the quest you take them on

let me shittalk the chantry

actually resolve the plot points introduced in dai

a more threatening villain. the inquisitor thwarted every attempt made by corypheus in dai. he was not threatening at all

queer characters. background, companions, etc. queer characters

mounts were meh in dai. maybe. make them faster? or less cumbersome? or have your companions on mounts too so theres still banter?

i liked the armour tinting. let me have armour tinting from the beginning

i would really like mages to move and attack at the same time bc lowkey standing in one spot is uhhhhhhh kinda boring

let me check companions friendship/rivalry levels

would be nice if the narrative acknowledged that elves suffered greatly at the hands of the chantry and stopped victim-blaming them

more taverns. specifically like tapsters in dao where theres a dwarf just reciting something in a language i cant understand and if you look its a ballad/poet about dwarven culture and that was a real nice touch let me have that

dalish elf clan. dalish elf clan that does not get murdered please and thank you

meaningful quests. more cinematic dialogue

make found gear / quest reward gear more valuable than crafted gear

game modifiers like in dai were real nice. i want more

let me shittalk the chantry

quests that can be resolved in multiple ways. like connors fate in dao. and for those ways to impact further quests

companions with varying moral alignments

companions that are mutually exclusive (like alistair and loghain) but are both good companions so itd really make you think

a pc that IS NOT a “chosen one” vanilla da2 is my fav dragon age game for one reason and one reason only and that is because hawke is just some random refugee who escaped lothering. no chosen one magic at all. just an ordinary person who is a real good fighter. and that appealed to me more than this “you are the only one who can do it” narrative

let me meet more elvhen gods

if the setting is in tevinter, GIVE ME FUCKING ARCHITECTURE. give me the high spires, the archways, the buttresses, give me statues lining city gates and magic infused into the buildings. tevinter is a land ruled by MAGES give me magical architecture. give me floating buildings. give me fire floating as orbs above the streets like lamps. GIVE ME ARCHITECTURE

SHALE

let me shittalk the chantry

PIERCINGS GIVE ME FUCKING PIERCINGS BIOWARE

more main quests, longer main quests

if it is set in tevinter maybe. maybe address the fact that tevinter has been at war with the qunari for a while? on and off war is still war. and maybe give us the option to influence the outcome of that war?

more voice options. instead of just american voice or british voice, do the thing in dao again where there are multiple voices of different tones to further cement the pcs personality

more armour designs

biased but uh. can. can taliesen jaffe va a character?

i already said qunari companions but specifically saarebas companions

blood magic

FINISHING MOVE ANIMATIONS

please do not let it be as long as inquisition. inquisition was a SLOG in later playthroughs

body sliders. what if i want a tall but lanky qunari? what if i want a buff as shit elf? body sliders

more eye options

let me call out companions

btw bioware. if you really wanted cullen to be a good guy. maybe handle his fucking redemption arc a little better instead of retconning all the terrible and creepy shit hes done in the past k thx

can female walk/run animations not have. so much swaying hips? no one moves like that

personality dialogue that affects future dialogue like in da2 but meshed with the wider range of emotions introduced by dai

keep the race/s*x lock on romance candidates like in dai. keep the fact that some characters can only be romanced by certain races or s*xes

nb and genderqueer options for the pc

cutscenes of companions interacting

ngl i lowkey liked the random encounters of dao so maybe bring that back

my fav quest in dao is the landsmeet / orzammar succession crisis questline but you know whats my second favourite? the rescue mission if the warden gets captured and you have to play as your party members. give me that again

more creepy/dark shit. dai was too lighthearted for me esp after da2 and dao

let me shittalk the chantry

broodmothers. in hd.

red lyrium broodmothers. in hd

companions with different backgrounds. different faiths. different statuses. different families. etc

maybe make the pcs appearance make an impact on the story? like how bull says he likes redheads, but even if you are a redhead, he says nothing about it????? maybe keep track of which slider the player picks so that can affect the story?

i love my inquisitors but maybe. dont. bring the inquisitor in as anything more than an advisor/npc in this game? let me fall in love with a new pc???

if theres gonna be a homebase like skyhold where youre not in armor. maybe give us better clothing?

a kind of gear skin mechanic similar to ac:odyssey where you can change how the gear looks but keep the stats. so you can equip that higher level armour and keep the look and aesthetic of your old armour and you unlock the skins/looks of the armours you discover/make so you can be both powerful AND aesthetic

i enjoyed the nobility/underworld/arcane/etc knowledge in dai unlocking more dialogue options so maybe keep/expand on that but make it more accessible by side missions or companions or something that isnt the abysmal perk system in dai

let me shittalk the chantry

customisable walking animations. does the pc walk straightbacked? slouched? with a swagger? please

since there will undoubtedly be an obligatory fade sequence, maybe have an option for nightmare demons that ARENT spiders. thank you

slap on subtitles and conlang some languages. i want to hear elvish. i want to hear tevene. give me the languages

more dragons. esp if they look vastly different

more bard songs

i am completely biased here, but i would like to hear laura bailey as a va for a character. preferably a voice option for the pc

hey maybe have the true ending actually included in the base game and not in a dlc (tresppasser cough cough)

better val royeaux

please remove the had to do it to em idle animation tis distracting

on that note, more idle animations. maybe some unique to companions?

very trivial but. unique stair climbing/descending animation

bring back talking to companions on the road. maybe with some dialogue that can only be said on the road???

if banter is interrupted, make like rdr2 and pick up where the banter left off

more vallaslin designs please?

if theres another formal scene like dai maybe. give us. decent clothing. or better yet, decen clothing OPTIONS. i wanna decide how i look in a ball full of haughty orlesians

mage vs templar conflict resolved and addressed please. it is NOT resolved in dai. what we got was sequel bait and a slideshow. resolve it please

let me shittalk the chantry

a pro-mage anti-circle circle mage companion like anders

religious person who doesnt victim-blame elves in the codex or in game or anywhere please

characters more like leliana who question the chantry and acknowledge its corruption and greed

unapologetically sapphic companion

idc if its tevinter i dont want to fucking see queer people being disrespected

a true tal-vashoth companion, one who escaped from the qun

have quest decisions affect whether or not a companion will turn hostile to you or not

if IF solas will be redeemed, please do the redemption arc right

more horn options for qunari

an apostate mage who doesnt use me for their personal agenda whilst hiding something from me (morrigan, anders, solas) thanks

i really dig the whole “leader of an army” thing dai was trying to go for. but you didnt actually. lead. anything. would be nice to have that option. command soldiers. send them places that affect further quests. would even use the wartable for its intended purpose. planning wars. battles. like. you get sent word that there are bandits harassing villagers. you can set up an ambush with your soldiers or confront them headon, and theres a new mini-location on the map like the manor you meet vivienne in where you can go deal with the bandits and depending on your choices, there are actually soldiers with you in a field, or traps in a narrow pass, or even in a city. id rather the wartable shit dont return but if they have to, at least this way youre not just waiting real life time for a bunch of text to appear

i am real fucking excited for the possibility that da4 companions can just fucking die on you. good shit. give me that angst

missions that certain companions would refuse to go with you to. you know. so you actually have to use other members of your party instead of the same 3 (three) people all the goddamn time

disabled characters (i want a character who suffers from the same chronic bad leg disease as i do is that too much to ask)

kinda touched on by the da2 combat point but let me do close combat damage with the staff

no multiplayer. and if there is a multiplayer, dont tie it with achievements

let me fucking explore weisshaupt

(i dont think solas will be the endgame villain of da and i dont think da4 will be the last da game but still) again. for emphasis. resolve the plot points dai brought up

full-body scars and tattoo options

companions and npcs changing their opinions about things over time. eg: a pro-circle mage wanting instead for circles to be abolished after a specific side mission or a main quest decision etc

keep the multiple companion quests. and maybe change what kinds of companion quests are available further down depending on choices made in previous companion quests

please for fucks sake give us more characters of colour

let me shittalk the chantry

#dragon age #dragon age 4 #da4 #long post #its 3 am and i am once again putting on my clown wig bc bioware will fucking disappoint me again

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peachymhaechan · 6 years

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“Wait... You’re the Little Voice Inside My Head?”

Genre: fluff, soulmate! au; you can hear your soulmate’s thoughts, which isn’t always the best thing

Pairing: Lucas X gender neutral reader

Warnings: cussing, you will have a cavity by the end of this it’s too damn sWEEt

A/N: wong yukhei can stay in his mcfreakin lane:)) okay:)) this hurt me to write he truly did make his way up my bias list and I am .? okay,, I guess this is what we are doing

ever since you were little, you always heard voices inside your head

those voices being 1. you, and 2. a little boy you had never heard out loud in your life

the first time you heard him was when you were four, playing with an imaginary friend in your room

I wonder what Mommy is making for dinner, you thought and lo and behold

I want my mommy to make something without vegetables!

uhhhhhhhhh .?

that was not your voice

but you being a four year old with an imaginary friend, you were like “cool I guess, sometimes it be that way”

at dinner you brought it up to your parents, but of course they passed it off as your imaginary friends

I mean,, lets be real

you were little and ran around the house all day talking to your imaginary friends, so that was the logical explanation in that situation

that was only the first incident you had with the boy speaking in your head

and lemme just say, as y’all got older, it only got wilder

you only knew that he heard what you thought for one reason

he’d always, and I mean ALWAYS

respond

one time in elementary school, your class was taking a math test and you had no fuckin clue what was going on

uhhhhhhh what the frick is 8 times 9 divided by 2 plus 4???

don’t worry tho, your mystery boy came in clutch

40! The answer is 40! his little voice chimed, saving your ass and being the reason you scraped by with a b

as time went on, you heard him more and more, and occasionally yall would have full conversations

only when you got older did you realize

shit dawg, this is my soulmate

once you hit middle school, you finally sat your parents down and basically said

that imaginary friend that would talk in my head when I was little hasn’t gone away and im pretty sure that’s my soulmate quirk

of course your parents were like. oh ? worm ?

you explained to them the whole thing tho

“ive had legitimate conversations with him before, he hears some of my thoughts and I hear his. I can’t really control what all he hears, though, and neither can he, so it’s very weird to hear things out of context.”

the entire time your parents sat there, both confused and happy

on one hand, they didn’t fully understand how it all worked,

and on the other, they were proud because their lil baby was all grown up, talking to their soulmate!! moving towards the second part of their life !!

from that moment, your quirk progressed even more

you started to talk to him more and more, and he heard more and more of your thoughts

it was odd, really, because everybody has thoughts that make them guilty

you know, thoughts that can embarrass you for even thinking them??

not because they’re dumb (although let’s be real, everyone has their fair share of dumb thoughts),

but because you know they’re mean:/

one night you were up thinking that,

thinking: you probably hate me…. all of my thoughts are so mean and harmful, and it brings me shame to know that I can be so vile to people without even meaning to. I’m sorry…. I wouldn’t blame you for hating me.

for some reason, your mystery boy was awake (bitch go tf to sleep it’s three in the damn morning) and he responded

hey, two things…. 1. you’re such a dumbass, and 2. it’s not your thoughts that matter, but how you react to them afterward. the fact that you think your thoughts can come off as mean show that you care, and that you’re not as shitty of a person that you think you are.

listen,,, we all know lucas ain’t always that deep but we can pretend for this au ok

you sat there in complete shock and then he went, anyways you adorable idiot, go to sleep, you have finals in the morning.

from that night on, you talked to him more and more

had a bad day? lucas would know all about it as soon as you got home

lucas did something embarrassing while out in public? you’d hear about it while in public as he tried not to spontaneously combust

you will never believe what I just did…. the barista told me to have a good day and I said “you’re welcome”

of course you laughed,,, that dumbass is supposed to be your soulmate ??

how

but you told him chill dude, everyone says shit like that sometimes, it happens to the best of us

he was with you during your cringey phases (as you were with him during his)

he was there the first time you had your heart broken

your friends all told you not to date the popular basketball player, but you said yeet I guess and well

lucas consoled you as you cried, not over that boy but over yourself for thinking something like that could work

“I don’t know why I even tried. He isn’t you, and he never will be. Hell, I don’t even know your damn name but I know we fit together more than that guy and I ever could.”

that night was the first night you learned his name, wong yukhei, or lucas as his friends called him

“My name is Wong Yukhei, but my friends call me Lucas. And I’m sorry some guy treated you like shit. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, you deserve the whole world. I wish I knew who you were, where you were, so I can finally meet you and tell you everything I never told you.”

and that was the first night he learned your name

“y/n, my name is y/n, and I know we are going to meet soon. I just know it. I can feel it.”

and you were kind of right ??

it all depends on what your definition of soon is tbh

bc that whole sappy convo took place in your junior year of high school

and y’all met in college !!

it was high key odd and not at all how either of you planned to meet, tho

it was your first week at college, and you were nervous af

parents? gone. responsibilities? crippling. adulting? expected.

you finished moving in a while ago, and by then had met your not so pleasant roommate

let’s just say uhhhhhh this roommate had been a complete and utter dickhead

so you threw on some shoes, grabbed your laptop and wallet, and went to the library on campus

after all, it was only the first week, there shouldn't be too many

you walked in and the first thing you saw was someone crying and saying “FUCK SCHOOL”

naturally you were like, “bitch me too. tf?”

but decided to not say that to that kid so you quickly skrrted the fuck out there (yote, if you will)

as you dipped real quick, you went through your options in your head

coffee? target? dorms?

coffee seemed like your best bet, so you hauled your ass to the campus café

as soon as the door opened, stress melted from your mind

i’ll drink to that, bro

the place was not too busy, it was during the middle of the day so people were either asleep or busy

there wasn't a line so you walked up to the person working at the register

“shit fuck what should I order from this coffee place??”

“mountain dew with two shots of espresso” - the ever so helpful Wong Yukhei

“okay what the fuck??”

“lemme get uhhhhhhh iced coffee I guess,” you said, paying and waiting for your drink

while waiting, you went and grabbed a straw, and out of the corner of your eye you spotted a fuckin. GiAnt enter the establishment

he seemed goofy tho,,, so u were like. ok. cool. pop off, I guess.

you couldn’t hear him speak, but inside your head you heard, “Iced coffee.”

“yeah, what about it? I already ordered it, you’re a little late.”

he did not respond which had you going ?? miss keisha, miss keisha, oh my fucking god she fucking dead !

you patiently waited for your cold bean juice while the guy paid and literally stumbled right by your feet to get a straw for himself

before you could ask if the Clumsy Giant was okay, the barista called out, “ Y/N!”

you went to pick up the drink, and felt two eyes drilling holes in the back of your head

naturally, you turned around like. ? we got beef?

but found the actually kinda cute boy staring at you in shock

“What?” you sheepishly asked, not sure if you had something on your face or if something was genuinely wrong, which would explain why that weirdo stared dead at you

???

“Y/N.... y-your name is Y/N?” he asked, and his voice clicked right away

fuck, dude

you already knew the answer,

you could recognize that voice anywhere

but you still wanted to ask and make sure you are not dreaming

however, before you could ask,

the barista called out his name

“Lucas!”

f u c k, dude

“Wong Yukhei?”

“Y/N L/N?”

you two both broke out into a grin upon hearing the other say your name out loud

yall clung to each other, wrapping the other in a huge hug

meanwhile, the barista was standing behind the counter, waiting for lucas to grab his drink like :/ i’ll wait!

“this is touching, and all.... but can you please grab your coffee?”

“THAT IS MY SOULMATE!” lucas announced, obviously giddy at finding you

and tbh, you were feeling it, too

yall sat down at a little table and for a while, just stared at the person sitting across from the other

then, “I’m glad I met you.”

“Me, too,” he agreed

and thus the start of a relationship with pretty much no communication issues ever,

mostly due to the fact that there were no secrets

not that either of you minded, because lets face it

you two had souls that were reflections from one another, and you can’t hide a secret from yourself so why would you hide a secret from him?

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moonlight-at-dawn · 4 years

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Looking for opinions on how to handle a bully’s family

One of my neighbor’s has a kid (C) who is the same age as my own (K). They’ve been ‘friends’ since a few months after we moved into the neighborhood. I use quotations because C has been something of a bully since the beginning, when they were 5 years old.

It started out simple enough, and we tried making gentle corrections when C was here. He would be forceful, refusing to compromise, would use friendship as a bargaining chip (”If you won’t play MY way, then I’m not your friend!”). His idea of fun has never changed from making fun of what the other person likes.

It feels very much like he’s not interested in having FRIENDS but in having MINIONS. Once my kid started putting his foot down and not letting C treat him like this, C started not only distancing himself, but turning the other kids against him. I have heard and had to intervene on multiple occasions when C has told another kid to do something wrong. He likes to make someone else do something bad so he can laugh but not get into trouble.

C also lies about other kids to divert trouble away from him. One of the times I asked him to compromise (”He said he would play this pretend game, he just wants to play as this character, you should let him. It’s more fun to mix these things anyway :)”) he didn’t even respond to what I said or about the situation at all. He lied to me, saying “I’ve seen K’s light on in the middle of the night when he should be asleep!” (”How do you know that, were you up when you shouldn’t be?” “UHHHHHHH” -I knew it was a lie bc my kid was still sleeping in my room at that time, but I didn’t tell C this)

During all this Covid stuff, my kid has been the only one wearing a face mask, and C has made fun of him for it, ripped his mask off his face, and has overall increased his aggression since then. This escalated to him lying to the other kids in the neighborhood, saying that his father told him he couldn’t play with K, even with other kids involved, and so they would have to choose between them. He then also lied to the kids to make them choose him over my kid.

We attempted to speak with his parents so we could resolve this conflict. C went inside for a few minutes, then came out and said “My dad’s asleep and my mom doesn’t want to come out, but I can play with K again.” which is why we feel confident that this “rule” had been a lie all along.

On Wednesday, things escalated to the point that we called the police. We heard a knock at the door. A child left a note that said something like “Do you want a war” and “Take this gun” with a drawing of a sad face kid and a gun pointed their direction. C claims that another kid had left the note for him with a NERF gun, and that they meant for it to be ‘funny.’ However, even if that’s true, with that context removed, it was a threat, not funny at all. C also had done his classic move of being like “Wouldn’t it be funny if YOU did this?” and asked one of the younger kids to actually place the note. Then tried claiming an older kid wrote the note, that none of them could write. He’s 8. Next year is 3rd grade for C and K. He can write, but he told the POLICE OFFICER that he couldn’t. Not sure why he’d claim he can’t write AND that it was a note left by a younger kid without both of those being lies, sooooo......

Before calling the police, 3 of us adults standing in the foyer with the door half open, reading this note, being furious, I snapped a little. I stomped outside with the note. The group of kids was standing in front of C’s house across the street, and I stayed on my side and screamed at them. I’m not proud, but I also don’t regret it, if that makes sense? They even tried saying “We don’t know who did it!” when A) There was no one else who could have, and B) An older and completely uninvolved kid riding his bike around confirmed who had done it. I raised my voice “AND YES, I’M GOING TO SCREAM SO THAT ALL THE NEIGHBORHOOD KNOWS THAT YOU’RE THREATENING SOMEONE WITH GUN VIOLENCE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?!?”

C put his face in his hands and made a wailing sound, and this is where I’m not proud but also not regretful. I pointed at him at said “No! No you don’t! I don’t believe that for a SECOND. You have lied to me every chance you get, you are a bully, you are cruel, and you are manipulative!” and while I was shouting this, he dropped his hands and looked me dead in the eye with a completely clean face and annoyed expression, showing he hadn’t been crying at all, and that’s why I don’t regret it. If he’d been actually crying, I’d probably regret it.

After I went in, we hemmed and hawed over calling the police, and decided to do so because we want a file on record. My husband was stalked with racially charged death threats, his dorm rooms broken into, vandalized, things broken, for 6 months. He has been suffering severe physical PTSD responses since this incident on Wednesday. My mother is a domestic abuse survivor, my roommate Mika has had a gun shoved in her face during a bank robbery, and I’ve fought people who intended to rape me (which I’ve never even said this much about my experiences as a teen until this event, bc I don’t want to think or talk about it, but now I can’t NOT). We CANNOT take this lightly, as this violence has come into our lives before, and we intimately know where it leads.

To make matters more complicated, the parents are shit people too, which makes having a reconciliatory conversation difficult. C has quoted bigotry at me (C: ”It’s illegal for boys to marry boys” Me: “No it’s not” C: “Yes it is” M: “No. It’s not. It was made legal several years ago, thankfully.” C: “..........I think it’s weird.” M: “Well, no one is saying you have to do it, it’s for those who want to.” C: “But it’s weird!” M: “You can’t tell someone not to live their life because you don’t like it!!!” C: “....................”)

C’s parents clearly need counseling, and his mom needs some serious therapy. The noise and lights of their middle of the night arguments and the mom trying to drive away, the dad standing behind the car to stop her, has woken up my parents in their street-facing room on more than one occasion. There’s a huge dent in their garage where C’s mom has crashed the car. C’s mom also hit Mika’s parked car, then proceeded to blame Mika for her car being there like “It’s so inconvenient when you park on the road!” ....C’s family has 2 cars parked on the street pretty much at all times. Mika parks on the road only when we need to be able to get out, but she’s usually in the driveway.

The fact that C’s parents are like this makes it very difficult to consider how to go about trying to have a conversation with them. I wrote a short DEAR MAN guided script about the incident on Wednesday, but I’m hesitant to go over there when I feel very strongly that they’ll just go on an unrelated tangent and try to flip the blame around. C’s father has shot us glares from across the street, but has made no attempt to come speak to us about us calling the police on their kid.

The parents of the other involved kids have come spoken to us, were mortified by what had happened, their kids also mortified by what had happened, and were receptive when we explained that C was behind it and what his history of manipulation and making others do his dirty work is like. We were careful about wording, just talking about the situations and trying not to make it a huge judgmental thing, just a “this is what we know” thing.

My current feeling is that I should write a letter and mail it to them (even tho they live across the street), because I feel strongly that I need to take SOME kind of action, as they won’t. But I just don’t know. Should I try speaking in person, even though I feel like they will be aggressive and/or dismissive? Should I write a letter even though I feel like they would read it with bad faith? Have I done enough, is the onus now on them?

#misha rambles #and misha rants #i'm at a loss #i have therapy on wednesday and i'll speak to her about this too #but i just #*muffled screams*#i saw them unloading firewood yesterday and my thought was 'if you try to burn down my house i will DESTROY you'

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