#im done actually gonna rest now

[todayisafridaynight]

and why does the office worker stay after hours so late anyway huh

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 3 #yakuza series #yakuza 3 #daigo dojima #yoshitaka mine #minedai #snap sketches #i am going to a wedding later so of course i had to draw Them #i actually had like. 2% of this done yestermorning but i was so busy the rest of the day i didnt get a chance to touch this til now #and i WAS gonna make it more refined and color it and everything #but just like 40% of marriages in america i gave up #so sketchy business is back #im gonna see if i can start to scribble somethin goofy before i have to go out bye bye

[thedisablednaturalist]

Office disability culture is so fucked in environmental science and fieldwork. Like the mindset that to do the job you have to be in perfect physical health or you should just quit. Like I'm not talking about something that is 100% physical labor here, everything is mostly achievable with aids and you don't need to be able to do every single thing. But there's this weird like..pride..that my older coworkers have. They work out in the gym and brag about how many reps they did. They tease each other for having medical issues. They don't ask for accommodations because they fear that their legitimacy will be hurt. That it means that they can't do their job anymore. That they won't be TRUSTED to do their jobs anymore. That it will get taken away.

So they FURTHER hurt their bodies by not resting, not taking breaks, not using ergonomic equipment, not using safety equipment. Not drinking enough water. Not using mobility aids when they are so old that it's supposed to be acceptable. They don't use the scooters at the grocery store, they don't use their handicapped placard, they don't use knee pads or compression gloves.

And here I come in, 24 years old, looking perfectly healthy. And I use walking sticks, I sit down a lot, I have my care bag, I have a ton of gadgets for making fieldwork more comfortable, I have boundaries and limits, I wear braces and knee pads and compression gloves. I use my handicapped placard.

They react in one of two ways:

1. How DARE I. I'm so lucky to be young and no one sees THEM having to do all those things (literally nothing is stopping them but pride). Like old man if you need a break take a fucking break. I'm not going to hurt my health to make you feel better about hurting yours. I'm not risking a flare up to spare the 65 year olds feelings. Im gonna take my break and use my equipment cause my boss doesn't care as long as the work gets done. I'm tired of glares from 100 year olds making themselves struggle across the parking lot when they could also be using the fucking scooter. (I never take the last scooter, there's always another available. Also it's not my fault if walmart only provides 2 scooters for the whole store).

2. It shows them its okay. Its okay to need aids. When I first showed up at my job it was very...macho..everyone was afraid of seeming old (theres probably only 3 of us under 30 in the whole department, most people are at least 50, mainly 65 year olds). Then they saw me using my walking sticks, taking my medicine openly, bringing a chair with me when working away from my desk, using my TENS unit. I overheard one lady ask her granddaughter what fibromyalgia was (apparently she had spotted my pain tracking journal).

My older coworker with a bad knee got a walking stick like mine and beamed when she showed me. The grandmother uses a cane and a walker interchangeably and more often. I get asked where I get my little portable fan and pocket heaters and special clothing. Even abled coworkers are doing it. My coworker who's younger than me sets alarms to take breaks now just like I do. People seem more comfortable using things that help them now.

My boss has really struggled. He has a lot of internalized ableism and hates thinking of himself as crippled. He spent his whole life physically active and strong and all these health issues and overexertion are catching up with him. Like he did environmental testing in areas with fucking radon. He did work where they threw asbestos around like snow for fun. He's done a ton of really hard physical work. He grew up with the mentality that pain was just something everyone has to push through. But I think seeing a young person make the choice not to push through is helping him a bit. He wants to make his own walking stick, he goes to the doctor more. We bond over having constant medical issues and I even gave him the name of my surgeon. Yea he still says stuff like "shoot me if I have to use a wheelchair" (not as much anymore since he now knows I use one) but he's getting there.

Yeah so I've had this in my drafts for a bit and I wanted to update that my boss has been walking around with a fucking broken ankle for the past couple of weeks. He thought it was just arthritis pain and eventually couldn't take it anymore and went to the foot doctor. The doctor has no clue how the fuck he's been walking on it. Now he has to wear the boot and he's banned from fieldwork while he heals.

Older people and the elderly need to learn that it's okay to not push through the pain and ask for help. Everyone needs to learn this, and not be like my fucking boss. Go to the doctor, get that sore joint checked out. Get those tests done. Use that aid. Stop walking on a broken ankle just because you can.

#chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #from the field #wrenfea.exe #literally fucking flabbergasted #he walked in after leaving for a bit to go to his appointment and came back like so yeah my ankles been broken #BUDDY #everyone needs help sometimes you dont deserve to be in pain #like thats some catholic guilt shit im pretty sure #this man has had 4 major back surgeries so i guess a broken ankle is nothing compared to that #but still...jesus fucking christ #not sprained..BROKEN #and thats along with all the rest of the pain hes in #like i get being used to pain but if i stub my toe during a flare up I can't handle it because it pushes my pain level over the edge #so it actually makes me less tolerable since im already in pain #but im used to a higher pain level than abled people are #ok im done rambling for now im gonna go play Minecraft

[dawnthefluffyduck]

*peeks behind corner*

*leaves*

...of course, I should mention that this was only possible with the help of @patchwork-crow-writes; he helped me with the final stage of writing and gave me a ton of good feedback+writing tips, and was just super encouraging during the entire writing process. It'd never get done, much less posted, without his help, so thank you again Mr. Crow!

#i said i was going to sleep on my alt #i lied #i feel very anxious posting this so i will absolutely not be resting easy #BUT #I'm proud of it being done #its just like posting fanart for the first time #i felt super embarrassed about it at first #now im drawing fluffy princes on my hands at work and throwing it up here without a second thought #just gotta adjust to it i guess #okay but I'm like actually falling asleep at my desk though im gonna get a cookie and go to sleep for real now #night night yall #deltarune #ralsei #kris #fanfiction #new tag new tag woohoo

[pepprs]

i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god

#purrs #but there will never stop being any of those things so actually what i literally need is to learn HARD AND FAST how to stop getting so #fucking triggered over a situation i know is NOTHING so bad that im anxious for the entire rest of the day and can’t even get any work done. #like (jade from tesco voice) girls… im not gonna lie to you. i think therapy is not working. i think i am not mentally or emotionally strong #enough to work in this job and i think i am never going to get mentally or emotionally stronger. ive been stuck in the quicksand too long #and now im atrophying. i cannot develop the situational awareness and motor skills or awakeness (and i mean AWAKEness.) to safely and #consistently drive a car. i cannot develop the intellect and drive and courage to get an advanced degree or be in a leadership position that #everyone actually sees as a leadership position lmfao. and i cannot develop the emotional intelligence and inner peace to not get triggered #out of my fucking mind at work to the point where im having anxiety heart palpitations and fighting back tears. i am just stuck as i am #forever. and you know how i know that? BECAUSE IVE WORKED AT THE NATIONALLY RENOWNED CENTER FOR YOU-ARE-NOT-STUCK-AS-YOU-ARE-FOREVER FOR #FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY #FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to tell other people who they are is what they bring and the world can change and whatever when i am #the fucking antithesis of that. when i don’t even believe my own words. like the way i want to punch out every window in this building rn i #HATE BEING LIKe this i hate being in the psychic prison of scared little girl mode all the time forever no matter what and being beyond help #and disappointing and burdening the people around me because i can’t be fucking normal about like. hierarchy and institutional politics LOL #delete later

[steelycunt]

FINAL MIDBLOCK ESSAY DONE!! I AM FREE!!

#FINALLY. have not been able to relax for like a month that’s the thing about the due dates being so far apart it’s great because you’ve got #more time but it also means everything just. lasts longer. anyway! done now. this one perhaps not my best work but it was harder than i #expected…my us government one will be rough but what else do you expect from 1500 words..and then my theory essay..my best hope for a good #grade perhaps…but we’ll see. the next lot aren’t due until january but im gonna start thinking about them now so im less busy over christmas #insane that that’s not too terrible a thought. uni is crazy when you actually enjoy your degree. anyway! for now i am going to enjoy the #rest of my weekend at home n me and my mum are going out tomorrow n im gonna buy some books with the voucher i haven’t spent since my #birthday in february and ill finally have time to finish the book im reading rn AND to do some writing..start chapter 2 : ^ ) #woohoo!! aware no one gaf about any of this but i am first and foremost always the audience for my own posts so. this one’s for me.. #(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again

[risingsunresistance]

love looking through the different raffle opinions in the in-game chat, the forums, and on here. lots of "why did anyone think this was a good idea" "why didn't i get anything good" and "why were all the rewards bad"

i'm just a very big fan of the cake counter and i'm glad i ended up with like 12 of them. and i LOVE the mementos. i'm all for cosmetics and pointless items, could not care less about not winning something massive jkdhfgk

#keep bringing up the cake counters bc i think they are very funny. but i need to put some up they're making my island lag JHFDG #in other much less important news. finally got every perfect gemstone i'll ever need for my mining gear <3 #finished all 4 divan pieces and the artifact of power wahoo #my drill has had all of them for a while now but i got the rest done earlier today #gonna log on to look at the memento my co-op buddy put up bc i havent seen the blue one yet but then im gonna log out #im just chilling in my bed i dont have a chair yet #IM HOME BTW IM ACTUALLY HOME WE HAVE CARPET AND MY WALLS ARE BLUE AND I HAVE A BED #do miss living at ark's place tbh but i couldnt stay there forever jkghdf #now i gotta get all my furniture out and get a tv #chat #sb

[divorcetual]

The meower

#Queued... technically March 23rd? #I mean its march 22nd in oregon. but im not there rn lolz #either way im late. SORRY !! i forfor to queue on the 20th then i was on planes for like 21 hrs total #well no 5 of those were a layover @ the airport but #ANYWAYYYYY hi future me !!! #Howww was the trip? im on my first (second actually- its 4am of the second day if u coukd the arrival) day in Hong Kong #Its rlly hot and humid so I think im gonna die. BUT ITS ALSO SUPER COOL !! #Even just from the few hours I had out earlier its amazingggg. The lights and the buildings are so cool and theres such a fun but chaotic #atmosphere - idk if its just bcs its a big city or specific to HK? #I loveee large cities in general. New york. Tokyo. HK. thats all of the ones ive been to ig #I havent seen even close to all of HK. Im in central rn but we're goin to other parts later #Dad says the other parts are totally different- Like theres LOADS of gisnt buildings here (WAY MORE THAN U SEE IN ******!!! u know that tho #and theyre almost all residential of the ones I passed. Im sure theres offices n stuff i just didnt see them in the likd 20 minutes cab #ride lolz. U know all tuis already tho #ig what im getting at is HOW WAS THE TRIP !!!!! How was the rest of HK? WHAT WAS KYOTO LIKE?? #augh soo many cool things..... #Also also !! Have you learned any mire katakana? #ive JUST learned the vowel line so maybe u lesrned the k line now too? #I cant imagine school is any different. OHH DID U FINISH THE M P 10P COMIC?? #I started it and got abt one page done on the plane #I think it should only end up being two or three pages idk #Ohh !! Hows the new meds going !! I think u should have ur blood test done by now so do u know if it helped at all? #I hope soooooooooooo #Mm I think thats all I have to say .... NO WAIT HAVE U HUNG OUT W/ JACKIE?? #i rlly want to b friends with her ^.^ #Alright Thats all !! HAVE A GOOD DAYYYYYY I LOVE U #queue drop #weather report #WAIT EDIT DID THE TRIGUN VOLUME COME. HOW IS IT

[hella1975]

im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT #but also i just. cannot hack it #'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also #like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently #and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good #and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home #so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN #and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum #that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job #like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good #and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications #and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-' #and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no #like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set #on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through #is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through #ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL #and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there #but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree #(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use #and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person #to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer #bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly #and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident #and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people) #i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments #i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it #yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment #i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up #hella goes to uni

[todayisafridaynight]

IW fr just felt like yokoyama's cope for killing Aoki off and then regretting it

im not saying yoko shouldve ryuji'd aoki but im just saying maybe the aoki-lives truthers were onto something if not copium but serving a warning for what was to come

#iw spoilers #spoilers #not really but shut up #snap chats #actually no shut up ill make those tags valid #LIIIIKKKEEEEEE EIJI WAS DONE WELL AS A MASATO-ADJACENT CHARACTER #why make ebina .......... i hate him so much ........... yoko it is not 2009 anymore who is this deviantART-oc-backstory ass mfer #why not even have ichi interact with him more or have him fight ebina ... #if yu really had to fuck it have kiryu and ichi fight ebina together idc just #with ichi's core being about family its so fucking bizarre ichi never gets to properly interact With His Family #IM NOT GETTING INTO THIS RANT FUCK OFF #there's just ... so much that could've been done differently that wouldve worked so much more interestingly .... im angry now ... #im gonna drink this tea ... #cyborg aoki wouldve been so funny but also so unnecessary #he just got shanked like. fuck if i know where brb #no i need to stop because im literally going to sit here and do an autopsy report if i dont force myself to put it to rest #anyways i dont think aoki should be brought back and with this game ending i at least hope they put him to rest now #i was happy with what the ending with eiji provided like FINE that was sweet #im still pissed that kume was just. brushed aside like that like can i at least watch his arrest ........ if i cant kill him myself ......

[lixbf]

i was so productive in bg3 today fjsvcjdhd

#did the house of hope (aka fucked an incubus and killed a devil) #did the steel watch foundry (accidentally had a few gondians die but then still said fuck you to wulbren) #did the whole ansur thing (holyyyyy fuck why are there so many revelations abt this one characters identity like) #And killed gortash (karlach my bby..... 😭) #and after all this w karlach constantly in party her approval of me is at. 51 now. wtf girl. ily and this is how you treat me fjdvckdvcjdh #this also made me think of more like. wrong/bad endings for the companions #duke wyll. god gale. sharran shadowheart. ascended astarion. dead karlach??? i guess?? lae'zel??? idk whats like the bad ending for her #anyways i am rapidly approaching the end of my very first bg3 playthrough and it makes me kinda sad #but then again i keep adding more ideas to playthroughs i wanna do.... #like i wanna do everyones origin. i wanna do redeemed durge and evil durge. i wanna do regular evil. #i wanna make shadowheart and lae'zel have the enemies to lovers story they deserve #i wanna try to actually save every tiefling (rip rolan and also arabella i think bc i forgot abt her existence after the grove was done) #i wanna become half illithid and do a bunch of absolute stuff #i wanna maybe yknow uh save barcus in grymforge and not encourage nere to kinda maybe kill him and the other gnomes #i wanna play as ascended astarion but also as unascended astarion #judging by how im like 140hrs into this playthrough. all of this is gonna take me the rest of the year gjxbckdbdj

[helloidkwhatimdoing-0]

JUST SAT DOING PUZZLES FOR LIKE 2 HOURS STRAIGHT BY ACCIDENT

I HAVE SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK

I DID NOT MEAN TO SIT THERE FOR 2 HOURS

FUCK

#moss mumbles #MY LITERAL ACTUAL A LEVEL COURSEWORK IS DUE ON MONDAY #AND HERE I AM DOING FUCKING PUZZLES #SHIT SHIT SHIT #anyway im gonna go do schoolwork now and try and work for the rest of the night bc i have so much to do im not even joking #90% of my nea is about to be done in the next 5 days

[orcelito]

From what I can tell, ITNL is the only committed longfic time travel au for vashwood. Which is a Little strange to me, coming from p5 fandom where it feels like every other longfic is a NG+ au (not a bad thing, it's just very common)

And me sitting here like. Is there really... no one else doing one like this?

Makes me even more dedicated to what I'm doing lol

#speculation nation #itnl shit #not the only time travel au but most of them (from what i see at least) are time loops rather than true time travel #which the actual specifics of that are getting up to semantics i think. it is still time travel #but itnl is the only one that's got my specific explanation for it At The Very Least. which makes me feel a bit more confident #overall i just want to do something special. i want to do something New. & i want people to enjoy it. #discacc is a landmark for p5 soulmate aus and i want itnl to be a landmark for vw time travel aus #my specialty being finding a common trope that's not been done very much in a fandom (comparatively) & Committing To The Bit #41k feels so short to me still but it's among the longest trigun fics now. and it's only gonna keep growing. #shoot for the stars & all that business lol #full respect to ppl who just do one shots bc those r important too #but i have a fatal case of Look At This and Committing To The Bit that has me picking one idea and just shoving it in ppls faces #over and over and over again until ppl start to properly appreciate it. And So It Shall Go. #most of all i want to make something that will be Remembered. something that stands apart from the rest. #sentido is good enough with a relatively creative structure. but it's just smth that ppl read & think 'oh that was good' & then move on #i want itnl to worm into people's BRAINS. i want people to read it and feel flayed alive. #i want it to be something that people can never forget. and Such Is My Goal lol. #it's 10 am im still in bed and ive been here for almost 14 hours now. i have no business thinking this hard about this lmao #but the thoughts are there. i have a Goal. and im going to see it through.

[arsenicflame]

i think... i might actually have enough colours...... to cut out most of the quilt.........

#ive got 2 (two) colours paired up that i don't actually have enough of so im gonna have to ask around but im optimistic !! #if theres scrap there might be a little on a roll somewhere???? jdjdjd idk ill ask anyway #but ive just done a checklist and i have potentially enough colours do do the rest; it just depends if i think they fit now

[love-fireflysong]

I'm sorry, i don't want to bother you, i just really wanted to know if you plan on posting another Chrashley story, cuz i mean... I read ALL of your stories in a day, and i felt like I needed more lol, your writing is awesome. :)

AJAKSHKJAHSKJHAS 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh my god you're so sweet thank you!!!!! And oh my god, you seriously read them all in one day?! Jesus christ that's a fair amount of reading considering that I KNOW that a few of them take like at least an hour to read each (and I'm not even counting the multi-chapter fic cause that one probably takes closer to 6!)

But to answer your question to whether or not I plan on posting another chrashley fic in the future? Um...

...yeah there's at least a couple in the works right now ajksdhjashd

#asks #dhsmacacoalbino #okay to be fair though #not all of those are gonna be chrashley sorry #just most of them #the ones that aren't are all climbing chrash based though pretty much so there's that i guess? #also the only one's with any actual writing done on any of them are 'kiss prompt the third' 'comedy' and 'snowed in' #the rest are only ideas that still live in my head #and im gonna get real here #but finding this ask just as a i got to work last night made my entire night just so much better #been in a horrible bit of a writing slump recently and was starting to wonder if it was even worth it continuing #cause i was just feeling like shit everytime i tried to write but nothing was coming out #so finding out that someone enjoyed my writing so much that the decided to binge read ALL OF IT in a SINGLE DAY #is doing wonders for my self-confidence right now #so seriously thank you SO MUCH for sending this ask in

[yuribalisms]

Insomnia my detested

#WHY IS IT BACK WHAT DID I DO #that’s a lie I know what happened I started working evenings at my new job #and my body got really excited that that meant I would be up late and sleeping in again #so then on days I still have to go to bed early and wake up early for my other job #it just does not fucking want to cuz it was hard enough doing that when I did it EVERY day #I think that’s also why I’m so tired all the time and am sleeping so poorly in general my body is just not meant to have #a sleep schedule meant for early mornings #it does :) fucking suck tho that this is happening on the nights before I am working 15 hour days :) #it’s okay I decided im quitting my old job today im getting more than enough hours at the new place #I was gonna stick out having them both for longer cuz the money would be nice but this is simply not sustainable #first the two weeks without a day off and now days where I’ll literally be working more hours than not working #but after im done there!!! late night sleep schedule is back!!! thank fucking GOD #maybe I will actually feel rested again maybe I will not have to nap literally every day just to feel capable of functioning #kaz rambles