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uglypastels · 1 year

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Right

I thought this was over but then i saw it pop up in my notifications again and truly had a face crack moment

Because that's all you give by leaving these kinds of comments. A very sad and empty feeling in my chest that makes me want to scream. Of course, it doesn't help that the comment was left on a fic where these were literally all the comments before it

(The last one i cut off because it just was a suggestion of where the story should go)

Now, i removed the urls bc i do not have anything against these people. It's not about them. This type of stuff shows up in almost every fic of mine.

And yes, obviously I appreciate the thought behind the fact someone wants to read more of my writing but I also cannot stop the feeling of how little the work i actually have put out is valued.

Maybe it is a short fic of not even a thousand words (although I have also gotten these demands on fics reaching 15k in word count) but it still takes time and effort and energy. Especially with requests, its difficult to write something you know another person has thought of, has expectations for... There is always doubt in my mind when I post a request that I failed the person who wanted the story because it's not what they expected. It's nervewrecking. So yeah, seeing people enjoy the story and wanting more definitely dissipates that constant worry But (there's always a but y'all)

A writer has their own ideas of how a story should go. Even if its a request, you get to interpret that in your own way (previously mentioned anxieties follow up later) and hopefully those interpretations will be appreciated. That includes the plot. And the plot includes, you guessed it, a beginning and an ending.

As the writer, I decide when and how the story ends.

By getting comments such as the ones I put above, I just get constant reminders shot in my face that no one really cares. Not just about me- hell, i dont care about myself- but about writers in general. No one cares about the actual creativity of the writing or the processes. Yall just want your free content, which is understandable in this economy, and then move on.

I could blame this on the Story Time/Like for Part Two internet culture and maybe I am. Hopefully you can see the comparison, especially with how on Tiktok all content constantly seems to be accumulating into series and parts and just never ending. All a person has to do is comment "pt 2 pls" and like it and done.

Just consider that, you get to enjoy something that is given to you completely for free, no questions asked. So why dont you actually enjoy it? Why does there have to always be more? (And if so, why cant the "more" be the already existing catalogues of the writers on here? Or did you skim through all that already -sorry im getting pissed off now, sleep deprivation)

Anyway, i'm tired and dont make any sense. Besides, i cant and wont police people around on here. read the stuff you want, comment all you want, but dont forget that the people writing the stories you like are also human with their own ideas and emotions. Not machines who can print out words at any given command.

#didnt even get into that i have specified on several occasions that i dont take requests through comments #or that i dont do part 2 #or how some of these comments dont ask just Expect there to be more #like no sir #z rants #writing

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bathroomtrapped · 1 year

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you will probably murder me in a painful way for saying this (based on the anger you leashed out in the previous asks) but saw 1 should be a stand alone film all along. even leigh&james who wrote the first 3 films think like this because theyre not involved in making the rest 7(?) films.

im not sure what u mean by anger in the last one? i think i kind of just answered their question about the screenplay as thoroughly as i could. who knows im a know-it-all whos dogshit with tone so its entirely possible. the first, sure i see it. i think its p obvious by my acc that im passionate about saw lol. i could see the whole 'the idea of disagreeing w this statement is insane' or 'i have eyes' are a bit rude! but also consider, i exaggerate to prove a point and be a little silly. a little joke, even.

honestly im not sure why im being asked these questions? dont get me wrong, i definitely enjoy them. clearly, given how long my responses are. im not an authority on saw, but i AM someone who thinks hes right abt everything so i do have a lot of things to say about it. i never claimed to be polite or personable, which is why i tend not to post my opinions unprompted. not everyone agrees with me and i have some pretty controversial opinions but different opinions rarely bother me. though, mark x amanda is just kind of strange?

i know a few ppl who agree that the mark saga was not... the best. and people are upset that leighs wishes were ignored in order to continue making sequels. i know he wasnt too happy abt the extra tape and stuff, which makes sense bc this is their franchise, but if they were not happy with it... im not sure why they bankrolled the rest? theyre producers on all of them after the first iirc. leigh might not like hoffman, his bastard child, but he seems content with us enjoying it so thats fine by me. if they truly hated it, i dont think theyd attach their names to it. that just looks like an endorsement. i think theyre just content with us enjoying it, leighs never seen them and probably never will but that doesnt mean he thinks we shouldnt see them either

i think a lot of horror would benefit if people were able to do things like this with franchises after people are done with them. theyre not always for everyone but i think a lot of people are fond of horror sequels. theyre just kind of a genre staple and i like what the rest of the films contributed to the lore. imagine if every horror franchise had a more open patent, like great gatsby? i think itd allow for more creativity. horror as a genre has so much world building bc it has to justify sooo much suspension of disbelief which means theres usually a lot to work with! imagine michael myers as a free character. id love to see what other writers think of his whole "fear personified" thing. if we allow more leeway with horror and less criticism at its imperfection, i think ppld enjoy it more. theyre cunt, theyre camp, and theyre fun and i consider myself a guy who likes fun

my favorite saw film when i first got into it was saw v for about a month and a half. its basically been a year since then and i would sacrifice the other films in a heartbeat for saw 2004, but i think theyre neat

#i prob was rude the first time but i also dont enjoy seeinf empaths completely disregard his canonical low empathy #feel free to disagree on the npd headcanon but if u ignore his low empathy then youre lying to urself #what is so hard for ppl to accept abt this trait?#it doesnt ruin him or make him worse? he can still be ur poor little meow meow #idk its just something im passionate abt bc empaths tend to act like its an insult to say that about a character #larry.txt

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demelzahcarne · 3 years

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Only three more episodes to torture myself, the things i do to see them dimples...truly the tortured souls named dalmi and dosan who can't be together, why you ask, don't know ask them writers they keep coming up with nonsense to keep me bitching about this ship. So let's see whats this weeks reason....all the while id be happy if jipyeong would crash land into some chick that is worth his dimples and love, maybe its happening today(as if but who knows im ready for start up miracles)

Arguable, she has been into pathetic territory for a while but that is standard for fierce independent fl in kdramas once they find the perfect dick to hang with 4eva. They lose most of their og spark.

Alright, so the writers were like well HJP won't get her but he will just do all the great gestures cause it keeps this one-sided thing going, and they did that because....? Ah, torture, got it. Anyway, apparently HJP hangs out at granny's for holidays, they have been working together for 3yrs and they dont speak casually with one another? Wow, thats saying a lot, or its just another writers hole, cause that timejump didnt change anything on paper, only hairstyles and phones.

If only that was the truth and there was a change in their non relationship over those 3 yrs. Woah, he is already feeling bad about sth. he said seconds prior, he really is a good boy. But wait, HJP is now indirectly the reason this stupid ship with dalmi and dosan will still not sail, noooooooo. Why, let these fools be together and focus on HJP. If this drama ends with HJP literally pushing these idiots heads together to kiss so dalmi is happy and then all pretendto be besties, I might hurl from the disgust.

NDS still throwing shares around like its candy. He didn't learn anything. Joohyuk came out in that photshoot but whatever...as if knitting nerd who cries every 5minutes has this much confidence....lol

Father and son got a bad hair dye done over these 3yrs...cant believe they still part of this story. But if it gives kang ha-na some lines and money per episode i will take it. If dalmi ever gets as fierce as injae she and her precious boyfriend might survive in this industry.

Never mix pleasure with business, but for them its gonna work. This is just repetition of 3yrs ago....very creative writing indeed.

Like for real, this is bad writing if dalmi who works with injae never told her about granny, and you tell me seo mom and injae havent talked prior, timejumps barely work when they happen before ep16 last 10 minutes...these writers dont think of using logic.

Still 40 minutes to go, shouldnt they be in the woods by now, i want this to be over already. So this is their 300th breakup/goodbye scene and i am laughing, these type of romance stories fall flat with me most of the times except when the couple has smashing chemistry and I believe their pain....I don't believe anything here...I mean did they use permanent markers on a whiteboard? Yeah, they will go far. Oh god, this is symbolism done wrong.

HJP in the elevator was me about the 1/3rd of the sans...I mean where even start...SIGH

The netflix subs are confusing, are they speaking casually now out of nowhere in the car?

Is joohyuk a face for a bike brand if not he should consider it, he almost always rides a bike in his projects. Look at me giving him ideas to get more millions. But yay finally they in the woods and this show is closer to its ending. Huzzah. Okay scratch that not best person to market your bike lol

OMFG granny and injae sharing a scene....

Too many thoughts at once, slow down tortured lovers. They kissed only once right, and barely had boyfriend/girlfriend moment's but they be playing it as tragic lovers, idgi like at all.

What ms yoon said is basically what hjp told them at the beginning and dosan fans started to hate him for, lmao...he always knew what he talked about precious souls just cant stand the truth. He wasnt too harsh though, some working industries just need harsh facts cause mediocre swimming only gets you so far

It could end here, why two more episodes? Off to find the subbed ep for todays #2D1N thats much better content for my mood and my dimple prince.

#start up #why is hjp crying in the car #cant be because the show is ending #throw away the money tree take granny and drive off to wherever none of these people are #repeating myself as usual but srsly the only good thing out of this drama #is that it brought kim seon ho into my life #otherwise its just a constant headshake since ep5/6 #kdrama

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obsidianarchives · 5 years

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Ashley Romans

Ashley Romans started her formal acting training at Pace University School of Performing Arts. She moved to Los Angeles immediately after graduating in 2015. Los Angeles theater credits include: Celebration's Charm (Beta), Rotterdam (StageRaw and LADCC award recipients). Film/Television credits include: "I'm Dying Up Here" and "Shameless" (Showtime), "Are You Sleeping?" (Apple TV), "Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis" (Sunshine Moxie), "NOS4A2" (AMC new series).

Black Girls Create: What do you create?

I’m an actor. I create by acting. Collaborating with writers, directors, designers, and visionaries in whichever medium possible to hopefully create an honest reflection of a being’s life experience.

BGC: How do I create?

I suppose my entire creative process begins with healthy self trickery. Not quite deception but more healthy, playful, self manipulation. Naturally as creators we have a way of resisting and fearing whatever it is we most want to bring about into the world. Similar to a mother’s fear of giving birth or raising a child, we think “what if the world doesn’t receive my creation well? What if people are mean? What if it’s not healthy or ready?” I often find myself trying to bribe or trick my way out of this fear. I trick myself into going into my next audition as confidently as I can, or preparing for that day on set when I really don’t want to, or finding some connection with a character trait I find reprehensible.

I also think it is very important to stay relaxed and loose so one can reach a playful and spiritual place of creativity. So I try and keep myself healthy; mentally, spiritually, and physically by reading, eating healthy, journaling, praying, meditating, and exercising.

BGC: How did you get into acting?

I would say my professional pursuit officially began when I went to study theater at Pace University in New York City for my undergraduate degree, but for as long as I can remember I always had an interest in acting. I loved watching ‘90s action/drama movies with my father and “I Love Lucy” reruns with my mother as a child at all hours of the day. I became even more interested in theater and performance through high school choir, joining community summer camps, and doing the spring high school musical.

Even as an adolescent I felt it was best to keep my professional aspirations to myself in fear of naysayers. In retrospect, I understand now that high school is a time a lot of young people are dealing with self doubt and insecurity. Considering that I was far from the funniest, smartest, or most talented individual in the theater department, I, unconsciously, kept my performing ambitions quiet even from the people closest to me because I didn’t want to risk someone rubbing their self doubt on me. I worked up the courage to audition for a couple of acting schools but I told no one except my acting teacher Douglas Hooper and a few very close mates.

I still abide by this privacy philosophy even now and it hasn’t steered me wrong to this day. I still feel that speaking one’s dreams and aspirations among chaotic or unsupportive energy environment would most likely dissipate or poison their own source.

Eventually after graduating from Pace University through a couple months of tumbling I landed representation for acting with a management company and I moved out to Los Angeles. I’ve been able to land some great acting opportunities and gain a supportive team of people and I could not be more grateful.

BGC: What has been your favorite role so far?

I have so many favorites. The roles that stand out to me as my favorite are the ones that have most challenged me and allowed me to explore a different aspect of life, and explore and connect to the full range of the human experience. I’ve received some of my most valuable acting lessons in various roles in the theater. I played Inez, a red dressed-vixen-leading lady with a passionate, deep-seeded hatred for her ex-husband in Stephen Adly Guirgis’ Our Lady of 121st. Two years ago I played Beta, a young teenage gang affiliated boy in Chicago with a secret in Phillip Dawkins’s play Charm at Celebration Theater. This coming March I will be part of the Kirk Douglas’s production Rotterdam by Jon Brittain. Set in the Netherlands, I will play Fiona/Adrian, one half of a modern London couple who decides to make a huge change in their life. My experience acting in these productions specifically has been positively nurturing. Throughout our rehearsal process, I learned what it means to be not just a more nuanced and skilled actor but also a more supportive and capable teammate in the creative process.

In terms of film/television world, my work as Hermione Granger in Sunshine Moxie’s Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis remains my greatest acting lesson in the film/television/on-camera discipline. Eliyannah Yisrael, Megan Grogan, Alice Pierce, other writers and producers leveled up my game up. I’ve never before been number one on the call sheet and I’m not sure if I ever will again, but having that responsibility was so enlightening. It was also an invaluable learning experience getting to work with those amazing creators and seeing those women just get shit done. It was truly an honor being chosen to play such an important and monumental literary character in this version. I remember reading the Harry Potter series as a little girl in London and thinking how much I wanted to be part of and live in that magical world. Playing Hermione in the HGQLC series was by far the best artistic adventure I’ve ever had. Exploring moments, scenes and how far we can bring characters all felt like adventures. Even our trip to Dublin, Ireland this past year felt like one big adventure. I’ll be forever grateful for that experience.

BGC: Why do you create?

I enjoy acting because I love being seen and getting to disappear. It’s a paradox but it’s my truth. I enjoy exploring the range of human experience. I love that I get to feel connected to people in the safe incubator that is pretend. I love that I get to feel and say all the things I’m afraid to feel and say in my real life. I still never get bored of going to the theater, movie or stage, sitting in a dark room with other people and watching performers simply tell us a story. I hope to serve God and the people around me through my creativity and acting. I always hope to truthfully represent a human experience no matter how high or low the stakes it might seem to us at first. Losing your phone and frantically trying to find it can be as exciting and dramatic a story as losing one’s job or finding out your spouse is unfaithful. It’s all in the storytelling and truthfulness of the moment and I love as an actor I get to explore that.

BGC: Who do you hope to reach through your work?

Honestly, the most important people I aim to ultimately reach and impress are my nieces and nephews. Yes the public, my agents, and producers are all important but I feel as though they are a means to an end. Right now my oldest niece is 10 years old and she loves the Hermione series and is always pretty excited to see me act on TV. At the moment she still thinks I’m pretty cool and I hope to keep it that way.

If this was a decade ago and you asked 16-year-old Ashley the same question I probably would have said something like “I want to be a voice for the voiceless and the underrepresented… blah blah blah.” Truthfully, I don’t think I ever really knew what that meant. I mean, I knew what it meant on a superficial-runner-up-in-Beauty-Pageant kind of level but now that answer doesn’t resonate with me as the gutter truth. Whenever I’m working on scripts, deciding on content to create or post etc, I ask myself “Is this something I would be proud to let my niece see? Is this the kind of work that can help make the world even the tiniest bit better for her?” Eventually, she’s going to grow up and have a voice in this world and I hope that her seeing me embrace mine will give her the courage to embrace hers. My nieces and nephews and all the children like them are who I hope to reach.

I really love seeing how the world is changing now. Representation in the media was so limited even 10 years ago but now it’s getting more and more beautiful by the day. With so many platforms, works such as Pose, Glow, Fresh Off the Boat, Chewing Gum, Masters of None, Eighth Grade, and more, so many beings who have been underrepresented for years are getting a chance to reach their audiences and tell their stories. And we all get to identify and see ourselves in each other. I don’t have to reach out and save the world because it kind of starts with myself and our own backyard.

BGC: Who or what inspires you to keep creating?

Oh geez, that’s a loaded question. My peers are my first and foremost inspiration and motivation. Again Eliyannah Yisrael, Megan Grogan, Alice Pearce, Jessica Jenks. It’s remarkable to watch those ladies do what they do. I love being in acting class and witnessing breakthroughs or being in a really great rehearsal with a cast mate. That’s always promising when you get to be part of the creation of something honest and true. Even if it is just a great moment in a scene. Actors who inspire me are endless. Octavia Spencer is a fantastic actress and creator who I adore. I had the blessing of working with her once and she’s an even better human. Lovely doesn’t do her justice. I love watching Regina King. There’s a great example of an honest to God creator and storyteller. She’s accomplished so much in acting, directing, writing, and producing. That’s also how I feel about Shonda Rhimes, Boots Riley, Jim Carrey, Maggie Gyllenhaal. There are many more. I’m sure as soon as you publish this interview I’m going to think of more.

BGC: Why is it important as a Black person to create?

As Black people, we have such a specific and loaded way we walk through the world. The Hermione Series has such a beautiful tag line. It says “HGQLC - Write Your Own Ending.” I’ve always loved that because it gives power to the subject. As Black people it is our responsibility to take control of our story the best way we can. We must feed our communities the best and most honest images of ourselves to ourselves because images and representation matters. In the area of cinema, for years non-Black people have told their version of the Black experience and it has left us misrepresented.

BGC: How do you balance creating with the rest of your life?

It’s always a struggle to keep a balanced life. I have a tendency to obsess and quickly lose perspective but when I want to regain balance I plan my day to make sure I get everything I need in. Luckily for me in my particular art form, acting is about living so I know I can’t be a good actor if I’m not allowing myself to experience life and fun.

BGC: Have you been able to build a support system around yourself? What does that look like?

I feel so grateful for my support system. I have amazing representation, an amazing day job with super awesome and motivating coworkers who are actively pursuing their life goals. I also have super supportive family and friends who tell me they’re proud of me just for being myself. My sister is also a great support system, someone I can speak and think out loud with no fear of judgment. I could not be any luckier.

BGC: Any advice for young creators/ones just starting?

It takes 10,000 hours to be a professional at anything. So just put in the hours, however that may look. Either do it, read about it, watch a YouTube video on it, whatever you have to do to learn about your craft and get better.

BGC: Any future projects?

I’m going to be doing a remounting of the stage production Rotterdam at the historic Kirk Douglas Theater in Culver City. It’s a short run, performances run from March 28 - April 7th, but it’s such a blessing to revisit this work with such a remarkable group of people. It’s a super funny and insightful play about gender and love.

In the television world I just finished wrapping a new AMC series starring Zachary Quinto and Ashleigh Cummings called NOS4A2. I don’t know the exact date it is to be released but it’s happening soon. The series is based of the hit novel by Joe Hill and it centers around a teenager (Cummings) who uses supernatural abilities to track down the seemingly immortal Charlie Manx (Quinto), who steals children and deposits them in “Christmasland.” I play a Detective Tabitha Hutter trying to suss out the truth. This series has supernatural fantasy, horror, action/adventure, procedural, and family drama. Everything you want to see.

#actress #Harry Potter #theater #actor #New York City #London #Los Angeles #Black Woman Creator #create

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

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callonb · 7 years

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GYBurst of Inspiration/Motivation

Where does inspiration come from? - Snacks I recorded a song with Samuel Hawkins recently and that was the first line of his verse. Lately thats been on my mind more and more. Where does my inspiration come from and why cant I always bask in its motivational energies? Seems that my drive comes and goes with the moon phases or as planets enter and leave our orbit. Could be the skys dictating my moods and movements (which i think it does have an effect) or it could be the mass amount of coffee and tea i drink a day. Definitely important factors but not quite the source. My mom definitely motivates me, she believes in everything Im doing and helps every way that she can. Its not financially but sometimes emotional support is more important. Shouts out to Momma B you the realist. Same for my homies and not homies as in people i force myself to be around, cuz having friends is what you do. Actual family that i grew up with and have developed a relationship with, the GYB family. The ones who sat me down years ago and was like dude...... you need to take this rap shit seriously. The ones who are now getting more and more involved with the movement every day, pushing everything to the side and riding along with my dream and making them their own. Everyday the homies are pushing to help me create this vision for you guys as they've adopted it as their own. Like minds on the prize, Shouts out the Layer homies. That only seems to be half of it tho, and Ive never felt this type of fire burning inside me before so what is it? Magazine drama and BS doesn't motivate me, Music doesn't seem to hit me the same way anymore. I used to listen to music constantly, new rap definitely doesn't do it for me.....makes me feel lower. New tv shows dont do it for me im bored with most of the popular shows out. Same for games or just typical activities that people partake in. Partys, drugs, random hook ups...It all seems so blah to me and im completely uninterested. I learned I have to stop feeding my lower self and focus on my higher self and what that part of my being truly wants and thats to CREATE!!! Whenever im around an environment that drives me to create and push myself i perform better. So i guess i just realized what really inspires me, and thats a creative environment. Who is responsible for this? Well I saw the Rotunda Project last weekend at Maiden Alley, a collaborative piece by Fairseas. The Fairseas are a group of musicians named Jeran Simmons, Bobby Dowell, Codie Franklin and Shanden Simmons. I watched them plant this seed years ago and now its a giant tree that you can sit back and marvel in its greatness. The main theme of the film was collaborating with your community. I cant lie ive had many many thoughts of leaving my community to collaborate elsewhere but ive came to a realization recently that it isnt necessary. To my surprise and probably a lot of people around here, there is a bubbling hip hop scene around here that is about to explode. Ive started to invest my time and efforts into this scene now and received nothing but results. Shanden has been a major influence in my artistry because he is always honest, encouraging and persistent....three very important characteristics to have in a creative environment and on top of that has become one of what i would consider my best friends. I look at him as one of my GYBrothers. On to the hip hop scene around here tho..... mysterious person named "A" aka the Hollow Man and he is one of the most promising producers/writers around. His solo stuff is outstanding and the collaboration effort we are working on "A & B: The Empire" is next level. Its been well over a year in the making and will shock most people when they hear the new styles i bring to the tape compared to my previous work. A always challenges me to be very intelligent when I piece together my verses and I like that. He makes me want to grab a dictionary and start reading so I can match his extensive vocabulary.....and maybe I have done that lol. Im the ONLY artist that the mystery man works with at the moment and that hits me now in a way it never has before. Like why me, do I really have something in my music that would make this beyond talented artist spend his time and efforts to make beats for us to collab on and want to include me in everything he does? His beats are above any producer Ive ever heard even in the big leagues of the rap game its crazy but he will prolly have his own GYBlog entry about him eventually. I have to move on before i make this to long lol. Next is JSkrilla, I have met the Skrilla a few times in passing but i dont think we realized what each other really could offer the other. Until i ran into him at the damn ROTUNDA PROJECT.....back around full circle. After that we decided to get together. We showed each other some of our music. I didnt know he made dope beats as well as spit hot fucking fire but he does. We shared our philosophies for our craft and talked hip hop and all sorts of other randomness. Then we picked a beat and wrote a song on the spot. Bar for bar back and forth. J stressed to me it had been a LONG time since he had been able to just sit down and write with another emcee that wasnt intimidated by his ability to write on the spot, or to match his caliber of wordplay and rhyme schemes. To both mine and his delight I delivered. Skrilla really challenged me tho, most artist get so caught up in the main stream BS or conforming to certain concepts and topics in their verses that it had been a while since I had felt pressure when writing to make sure my bars are up to par. Felt good to feel that energy again i had been missing the want to become better and that leads me to the main cause of my motivation and my improvments or just overall attitude change whatever you want to call it. the TRYBE!!!! Snacks, B. James, and Waun D. are the Cerberus of this rap shit. I have a lot to owe to them. GYB and Trybe share the same values as far as what we hope to contribute to the culture of arts and musics and how we hope to impact the hip hop community as well as the communities we all live in. I have done one show with them and have multiple other ones lined up with them. As a matter a fact i cant see myself doing a show with anyone but them from here on out. Once again them as well as JSkrilla could have their own full length blog entry but i digress for the sake of your attention lol. The Trybe challenges me to be a better emcee by making me freestyle. Which if you have been around me doing music ive never been a good freestyler.....UNTIL NOW!!! They have cracked that shell and brought me out of it. Making me partake in their cyphers everytime we get together. Soon Ill be as smooth off the top as i am with the writtens then its over for everyone! Sharpening my skills is not something that other rappers really push you to do. Rap is very competitive and braggadocios so pushing someone to improve and possible be better than you is unheard of. The Trybe doesnt see it that way though, they want us all to grow together. With a shared love for hip hop and me and Snacks shared love for Anime we can talk for hours and hours before we realize we havent done any music lol. Everytime I hear a new Trybe song i feel my artistry being challenged. The message in their music makes me want to really focus on the concepts i present in my music and start challenging my self to pretty much step my game up. Between Skrilla, "A", and TrYbe, everything new I hear makes me question my latest bars which is exactly what I need. Hip Hop is my life and my love and above any amount of money i can potentially make off this art is the desire to be the best emcee to ever grab a mic and thats the same mindset i had when i originally picked up the pen and decided i would be a rapper. Before i saw 8 mile and realized that being a white rapper wasnt necessarily accepted, before all the laughs, all the hate and just general shade i received for my dreams. Being white in this game is a roadblock but for the first time these guys made me realize that i have overcame that hurdle 100 times over. I had a long talk with the Trybe last night and they gave me a boost of confidence that finally fully ignited that fire i had lit but tried to conceal. Im no longer worried about what is cool or what people want. I just want to create and you will more than likely like it because I do have skills that i myself had been sleeping on. I hear these artist like A, Skrilla, and Trybe and i felt underneath them but now i see my self as an equal. We all have different things we bring to the table that compliment each other and its time to put it all together and make it happen. Plus we all just fucking dope and there is no denying. This is my new goal. No more time wasted on what i "think" is the right move. Im going to follow what i KNOW to be the right path and follow my heart. Thats challenging myself with these artist and like minded individuals to always be better. Also as Snacks has said before "move at LIGHT SPEED" thats just what Ill do with my light brothers here. We like some damn warriors of this rap shit waging war against a evil corrupt entity but thats also for a whole separate entry lol But no war of this caliber is complete without a general so shoutout to SirDuke. Ive also recently became friends with this crazy dude and he has shown me in just the short time ive known him more love and support than some people ive known my whole life. He also inspires me because he has dedicated his life to serve and protect (literally) and most importantly LEAD. He has an army of pretty much every hood and every rapper in each of them just waiting for his call. and he is not leading them astray, Shoutout the Kollektiv. Duke is also a talented singer and emcee. He has a show with me tomorrow at the Hangover in Murray MAKE SURE YOU COME TO THAT AND SEE MY NEW ALBUM CONSCIOUS TRAP PERFORMED LIVE starting at 9pm. but yeah Duke is dope and I can appreciate his leadership skills and what he hopes to accomplish in his community by cleaning it up through music. He is rubbing off on my and motivating me to hold that same position with my Layer army of GYB homies ive assembled. Most of them are clueless about the industry and music so its up to me to guide and lead them so they can be their own selves and make it in this world without the middle man down your neck. Im going to wrap this up because it ended up being way longer than i intended but i wanted to also say to my fellow collaborators and friends above all. Wolf, Golden Wrist Banks, Trevell, Dope, Simple, Benji and Angel Mascato. You guys have MAD SKILLS. You guys inspire me too because I hear something different in your music than i hear from most. I want you all to continue to grow and expand your creativity to new levels. Tell YOUR story. The same story is constantly told but how will you tell YOURS in the true challenge. So i encourage you guys like i have been recently, step outside of the norm and do what you truly feel in your heart that you need to, fuck what everyone else wants from you just create the way you feel appropriate. A lot of you are working with Duke regularly and I think he will tell you the same thing I am now. Even if its certain people in your lives holding you back, they gotta go. Surround yourself with positive people that want to grow with you instead of out grow you and you will see the same results. Probably why you guys were all on my latest album, except Trevell im sorry and you should have been but you know the deal homie its all love. Frank.....dammit man just rap lol but anyways ill end it on this note. Getting in touch with that child like mind state and that pureness of love in my heart again. Losing all my intentions to want to be better and out do someone but rather COLLABORATE with like minds in my community has already in return pushed me forward in a lot of ways. Seems almost as if they had been waiting on me this whole time. Its certain that my actions are now speaking louder than my words and everyone is starting to catch on. including myself finally. If you read this far thank you and I love you. Youre more than likely part of the reason why i typed this or why i even continue to do what i do. I trust you guys just as much as you trust ill deliver. Have a great day, maybe you can draw inspiration from this or some of the same people or things that i do! So put down that magazine full of empty content and read something meaningful that you are interested in, turn off the news and watch some anime, stop playing shooter games and play final fantasy, stop eating out and prepare your own meals, dont listen to music just play instrumentals and freestlye every day or just make your own, quit scrolling on facebook and take a stroll around the block, only spend time with those that help you grow rather than keep you low. So much inspiration out there sometimes we just have to break away from what we are used to in order to pull from the experience. Now im really done. and excuse my poor grammer and probably a shit load of spelling errors. That wont ever change, these blog post are run on sentences of my thoughts that pass through my head every day. Sometimes i just take the time to jot them out as they pass. PEACE LOVE AND GYB!!

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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Janelle Mone: I am the whole package

Shes a musician whose work has brought her massive acclaim. Shes also an outspoken activist in the Black Lives Matter movement, and now Janelle Mone is in Moonlight, one of the most talked about films of the year

One of Janelle Mones earliest childhood memories is of being hugged by her grandmother, a former sharecropper from Mississippi, and listening to her stories from the past: her years as a cotton picker; how their family came to be in Kansas City; the importance of connection to others. It was there, in her grandmas arms, that a slip of a six-year-old girl decided that one day she would become a storyteller, too. She wrote precocious plays and poems, sang and entered talent competitions that she often won, and gave her mother the winnings to help towards the electricity bill.

Twenty five years later, and Mones an acclaimed musician, record label boss and activist who is about to make her acting debut. Ive never viewed myself as just a musician or singer, she says. Im a storyteller who wants to tell untold, meaningful, universal stories in unforgettable ways. I want to do it all, study it all and find my place in it.

Her first role provides a great opportunity for telling an unforgettable story. Barry Jenkinss Moonlight is the coming-of-age tale of Chiron, an African American boy dealing with his sexuality. Its based on the play In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue by award-winning writer Tarell Alvin McCraney and is all but certain of Oscar nominations when theyre announced on Tuesday. Mone plays Teresa and she and her drug dealer boyfriend Juan become surrogate parents to little Chiron. Mone calls it her Neo from The Matrix moment, explaining that this film, and her recent move into acting, has always been her destiny, that she doesnt believe in coincidence: Things dont just happen, she says. Its all connected.

Its odd to hear her say this, as in person Mone doesnt feel very connected. When we meet she wears huge, round mirrored shades which obscure her face and stay firmly on throughout our interview, reflecting my own face back at me twice over. She sits neatly at the table, her legs curled beneath her. Shes courteous and friendly and businesslike. She chooses her words carefully.

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I had a strong visceral reaction to the Moonlight script, partly because I felt I knew all of these characters, she says. I grew up with a drug dealer like Juan in my neighbourhood who was a mentor to local young people. I had a family member who was addicted to crack, like Paula [Chirons biological mother, played by Naomie Harris]. Chiron himself reminded me of my little cousin they were all characters I could relate to from my upbringing. And Ive played the role of Teresa in real life: my family and friends always have a shoulder to lean on with me, she says.

About 40 minutes into Moonlight, Chiron, sitting at Teresa and Juans table, asks what a faggot is and whether he is one. Theres no music in this scene; Juan doesnt grab a gun and try to blow anyone away. Instead, he gracefully picks the word apart. Its an unexpected reaction.

The misconception is that drug dealers are all monolithic, says Mone, that what you see on TV is how they are in real life. The dealers I knew growing up were hustling and making choices they may not be proud of, but they were also giving back to the community, mentoring young boys and girls, helping people to pay their bills. They can be surrogate mothers and fathers to people in their communities, just like in Moonlight.

Mone grew up in Kansas City with her mother, a janitor, her truck driver stepfather and a sister. Money was tight but her large, devoutly Christian family she has more than 50 first cousins were close. My grandmother had 11 children and although we didnt have a whole lot of money, what we did have was a lot of love, she says. My grandmother was the matriarch. If you didnt have a place to stay, if you needed food, if you were just coming out of jail or rehab, you went to her. Watching her in our family and our wider community was what inspired me and still does.

Doing her sums: in Hidden Figures with Taraji P Henson and Octavia Spencer. Photograph: Allstar/20th Century Fox

Life was tough. There was a lot of nonsense growing up so I reacted by creating my own world, she says. The arts local theatre groups, singing and drama classes gave Mone the drive and focus to finish high school and temporarily work alongside her mother as a maid to save enough money to study at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York.

She then moved to Atlanta, Georgia, after she finished her studies. Shed update her MySpace profile while working at Office Depot to make ends meet, and came to the attention of fellow Atlantan Big Boi of Outkast. They became collaborators and, in 2006, he introduced her to Sean Diddy Combs, who offered her a recording contract. Mone was initially wary of signing her creative control away, but took the chance and it paid off. Diddy was hands off and wanted me to do my thing. Thats why hed offered to sign me in the first place, because I was different and I was the whole package.

For Mone, at 31, with three albums and six Grammy award nominations under her belt, her own record label up and running and two film roles in the pipeline (she also co-stars in the film Hidden Figures, the true story of the African American female mathematicians who helped catapult US astronaut John Glenn into space in the 1960s), 2016 was a year of professional triumphs but personal heartache. She had spent the early part of the year working on new music with her close friend and collaborator, Prince. He was actually helping me with my new music during the time before he transitioned. I was lucky enough to see his last show and tell him how much I loved him. He was a giver people dont know that. He gave so much: advice, very quiet donations to charities. He was a truly incredible soul.

Making her point: on a Black Lives Matter march in San Francisco. Photograph: Breningstall/REX Shutterstock

Still mourning for Prince, Mone was grief-struck a second time last year when, in August, her cousin was killed in a drive-by shooting. The 37-year-old was shot several times when the gunman sprayed bullets into the Kansas City home where she and her three children were sleeping. The gunman remains free. Mone, a long-time advocate of tighter gun control and an active voice in the Black Lives Matter movement pauses, and says quietly: My family is heartbroken and Im still devastated. My cousin was an innocent mother of three children. How? How can this be real life? She continues: We have to do something about gun laws. And we also have to do something about police brutality towards African American people. She points out that they are two different issues, but that we need more allies. People need to continue to speak out about the way African American people are being treated. An injustice to one black man or woman is an injustice to everybody.

Mone has led marches for Black Lives Matter, performed at a concert in aid of the water crisis in Flint, Michigan, alongside Stevie Wonder last year, and released a protest song, Hell You Talmbout, in October in response to the police brutality. Unsurprisingly, she is no fan of Donald Trump. Millennials will not be silenced were the powerhouse now. Were not going to let those who want to make America great again truly take over. Because what Trump means by making America great again is oppressing women, oppressing minorities, creating hate. Were not allowing him to run the world, even though he thinks he is.

I ask her how she feels she can make a difference personally. Mone takes a deep, considered breath and says calmly: Music is my weapon. I wont remain silent. Michelle Obama having been our First Lady for eight years set an example of how we need to be. We need to be visible and we need to be loud. Were not objects. For the first time during the interview, Mone shows more than a crack of emotion not much but enough to know that the sunglasses stay on for a reason.

Moonlight opens in the UK on 17 February