#im not good at analyses or like in depth things like this but I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aerequets · 1 year

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i very much appreciate how Yor, the strongest character, is so feminine

she’s obviously the physically strongest, and arguably the most mentally and/or emotionally strong. what i really appreciate is that this strength and her femininity are complements, instead of the two being treated as mutually exclusive like in many other media.

yor is soft spoken and gentle and kind to others. she feels emotions strongly and cries in front of others and shows her happiness. she has a natural inclination to take care of others. she is good with children, she is great at housekeeping. she may not be good at cooking but by gosh she tries; she wants to get better. she assumes the best in others and finds other women pretty and kind and admires them. she’s family oriented.

yor is also insanely strong. she’s gone through extensive physical training since childhood, has multiple scars, has dealt with all kinds of people. she can kick a moving car, incapacitate a whole cow, take down a whole fleet of assassins, etc, etc. the list goes on. but despite all this and all that she’s been through, she didn’t become a tough, sardonic, mean-lean-killing-machine kind of character.

what i’ve noticed in a lot of media is that there seems to be this kind of tradeoff that people think needs to happen in order for a female character to get “truly strong”. basically feminine = weak and masculine = strong. the character cries? not anymore she will never crack that poker face ever! the character cares for others? psh what no, care for yourself she’s not your maid. homemaking skills? useless, all she needs is the strength of her Fists and Harsh Words. she’s not like other vapid girls, she actually cares about the Real Important Fight which, undoubtedly, is also male-dominated.

of course, all of this is set up as an opportunity for the male love interest to come in and “break down her walls” because women are just waiting for the right man to change them, but i digress.

why? why are the things that are inherently feminine deemed as inferior?

a good example i can think of is cinderella, or to be more specific, an opinion about cinderella that was popular (and may still be, i dont know tbh): she is weak for needing a prince to save her.

lets break this down: this girl gets emotionally, phyiscally, and mentally abused from her childhood into young adulthood by the people who are supposed to care for her. despite all this, she remains kind towards others and attentive in what she does. she seizes what she believes could be her one and only chance at freedom, however fleeting, and ends up catching the attention of the person who is ultimately able to pull her out of her situation.

yes, she didn’t bust herself out of the house and shank the stepfam with her glass shoe. but does this mean she is weak? is that kind of emotional resilience within someone after years of abuse what can truly be categorized as weak?

anyways, all this is to say that yor is built up as the strong one in multiple ways, and the narrative doesn’t act like her nonmasculine qualities are somehow reductive or lesser, and i very much appreciate how rich her character is. i like so many things about this series man im just

#having post midnight thoughts #i started like. outlining something else that led me to think about this and then i just wrote this LMAO #yor is just so!!!!!#ALL OF THEM ARE SO!!!!#im not good at analyses or like in depth things like this but I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST #YOR IS SO GOOD OK #I WONT TAKE NO AS AN ANSWER #yor forger #spy x family #sxf #sxf yor #thorn princess #sxf thorn princess #my writing

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strrwbrrryjam · 6 months

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Just FYI, I love all of your random brain doodles about rdr2 and Arthur Morgan. They crack me up sometimes! Other times, just really good observations. Keep it up!! 👍

dude that is so sweet thank you <33 most of the time i feel like im just talking out of my ass so this is so reassuring thank you so much <33

i love ur commentary too! its nice seeing you in my activity <3

#its. super flattering lol #esp because like i mentioned i feel like I'm talking out of my ass. when i know I'm not and that i do make good points.#but hearing i make good points and people liking what i post is the ultimate reassurance i need. so thank you so much man #i gotta be honest i was incredibly scared to actual like. write in depth my thoughts of rdr2 and arthur morgan because #i didnt think im good at analysing things? and looking things in depth? but the reception I've gotten is just. I'm so grateful thank you #strawberry asks #strawberry speaks

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bangowang · 1 year

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oh boy! i just finished this, i should go online to see what other people think of this series!

ah! turns out im dumb and illiterate and should stop consuming media entirely

#literally me after i watched nope #went online and looked at a couple reddit posts #i was like hm hm i see i can comprehend these horrors just fine! :)#turns out i couldnt!#im too stupid #this applies to almost every other series i read/watch... i feel like im ruining it just by consuming media #thats why i can never get into fandoms #i just dont do good analyses like everyone else #i get way too into series but never go in depth like everyone else #ive already ruined several shows for my friends #i need to stop #probably wont #gonna keep things to myself i guess #sorry for the boohoo sad post i dont want to post this on twitter

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powdermelonkeg · 4 months

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just saw ur gale/mystra analysis post. im new to the game and dnd lore and honestly… ur take on their relationship feels like the most natural/compelling one??? esp since its all too easy to simplify topics that have many facets and nuance….

thanks for sharing i love analysis and reading people’s takes on narratives : D

My pleasure! (Bee from the future here: congrats, you spawned another meta!)

I love complicated characters, WAY more than I like a clear cut-and-dry case. Flaws, to me, are what make a character compelling and lead to interesting stories about them with choices that can get them into situations. I'm both writing a fanfic and running a campaign where I'm playing as Gale, and in the interest of portraying him properly and in-character, I've gone into SUCH a deep dive into all the decisions and facts that make him him.

It helps to, y'know, also be in love with the fictional wizard, but I digress

The thing about Baldur's Gate 3 is that no character in there is perfect. I've seen a couple analyses about the theme of continuing cycles of abuse vs breaking out of them, but in my mind, in terms of the characters themselves, it goes like this:

The origin characters have just come out of the lowest situation of their lives (Lae'zel being the exception; being tadpoled is a gith's worst nightmare. You're seeing that lowest situation in real time).

Not the lowest point, mind. Gale's lowest was probably the day after he got the Orb. Wyll's was probably the day his father cast him out. Karlach's was the day she lost her heart. But the lowest, accepted normal for them is what they've just left.

They're then thrown out of their depth and forced to rely on you to live. That's #1 priority: living. We get the extremes of these characters before we get their nuances, because they're quite literally at their breaking points.

Then once we get to know them, we see their wants, their hopes, their fears, as they open up to us. Every companion's story is at their own pace, but they all have a moment where they ping-pong between despondency and desire. Sometimes that desire is what we know isn't good for them, like Shadowheart wanting to be a Dark Justiciar. Sometimes that despondency is only for a flicker, like Astarion's realization that he's condemned 7000 people to a half-life of tortured spawnhood for as long as he's been a vampire.

Romance lets us crack all that open more, because if you pursue a romantic partner, they see you as their closest confidant. They WANT to trust you, so they're more willing to explain how they see the world and what decisions they want to chase.

And then their endings. Those often get simplified as good/bad, continuing the cycle vs breaking away from it. But how is Duke Wyll on the same platform as Ascended Astarion? He's not evil, he's not even entirely unhappy. He might even have broken out of his abusive cycle with Mizora, if you played your cards right. And Ascended Astarion is overjoyed, even if he is remarkably more cold.

I think that the endings are less a dichotomy of "this is good for them" vs "this is bad for them," and more one of "bringing out their best traits" vs "bringing out their worst."

Wyll's worst trait is being willing to sacrifice his own wants for whatever people desire of him. His best is standing for what he believes in and ensuring people are safe. Duke Wyll leans into that necessity to turn the other cheek in the name of people who count on him, while the Blade of Avernus has seized that moral compass of his and forged it out of mithral.

Shadowheart's worst trait is blind obedience at the cost of her individuality, while her best is her desire to be kind to things that don't deserve to be hurt. Mother Superior Shadowheart's whole life is defined by Shar. Selûnite Shadowheart's life is defined by her hospitality, especially towards animals.

Karlach's worst trait is how willing she is to accept that things are (to quote her) fucked, letting despair override hope. Her best is her durability in the face of horror. Exploded Karlach would rather die than try to work out a solution in the Hells, because she's terrified of facing Zariel alone. Mindflayer Karlach has accepted her fate and decides to give up her heart and soul to go out a hero, losing who she is. Fury of Avernus Karlach is willing to keep fighting for a solution, and by the time the epilogue happens, she's got her sights set on one.

Astarion's worst trait is his desire for power over people. His best trait is using the tools he has to his advantage. Ascended Astarion has let his powerhungry nature and paranoia lead all of his decisions, with his sights set on dominating mankind. Spawn Astarion has embraced what he is, and carved out a life for himself where he can do as he pleases.

Lae'zel's worst trait is her blind fanaticism, while her best trait is her individual dedication, making her loyalty a marriage of the two. Ascended Lae'zel is a meal for the lich queen, turning a blind eye to all Vlaakith's tried to do to her and literally being consumed by her fervor. Champion of Orpheus Lae'zel has turned her loyalty into something productive for diplomacy. Faerûnian Lae'zel has seized her individuality by the throat and decided her own future.

And then Gale. Gale's worst traits are his hubris and, paradoxically, his low self worth. His best traits are his creativity and wonder for the world. God Gale is the embodiment of ambition, having burned away all but that in pursuit of perfection. Exploded Gale has let his remorse blot out all hope for a redemption in which he does not die, because he thinks he's earned it. Professor Gale leads his life by embracing the school of Illusion and letting his creativity thrive, teaching others to do the same. House Husband Gale has multiple creative projects he's working on, and Adventurer Gale is always finding new sights to see and wanting to share them with you.

There are arguments to be made on which ending the origins are happiest in, certainly, or which one benefits them the most, but each ending represents the extreme of a facet they possess.

So with all that, there's a sort of malleable method to figuring out the ins and outs of a character.

You take their endings—all of them, all variables they can have—and reverse-engineer the flaws and details they carry. Then you start to notice how those work into their approvals for minor things: Astarion approving of your taking of the Blood of Lathander, or Shadowheart approving of standing up for Arabella. Getting a list of approvals and disapprovals is helpful, but having those endings on hand tells you why they react like that to a majority of their decisions.

You take their romance-route explanations of how they act, and apply those to earlier decisions. Astarion's confession to manipulating you and Araj-prompted admittance to using himself as a tool brings to light how he reacts to your decisions, regardless of his actual opinions on them. Wyll's fairytale romance and love of poetic adages speaks to his idealistic nature, and why he takes a sometimes-blinded approach to decisions in which the "right" answer isn't always the smart one.

You take their beginning reactions to stress and use that to measure how future decisions impact them. Lae'zel locks down and gets snappy when she's scared, while Gale immediately turns to diplomacy. Shadowheart has gallows humor, while Wyll turns to quiet acceptance. If they break from these and seem even worse, you know the situation is more dire in their minds than having seven days to live.

And then you factor in all their fun facts and dialogue choices and backstories.

A wizard falls in love with a goddess and her magic, attempts to retrieve a piece of her power for her, is scorned for his attempt and is cursed to die.

Give that backstory to a Tav. Look at how it changes.

A chaotic good wizard fell in love with a goddess, thought retrieving a piece of power for her would be a showy bouquet of love, and was punished for not thinking things through.

A lawful evil wizard fell in love with a goddess's power, snatched the most precious thing she owned, tried to use it to barter his way through to the secrets she kept, and was given a swift retribution.

Same backstory. Same class, same act, same goddess. Wildly different connotations. Wildly different conclusions as to who is in the wrong.

If you take all there is to Gale, all that the game shows us makes up his character, and apply it to this backstory, you get what really happened:

A wizard, enamored with magic, fell in love with a goddess. His desires led him to want more than she was willing to give. In his well-buried fear of inadequacy, he concluded that the reason she wouldn't indulge his ambitions was because he just hadn't proven himself worthy enough. So he tried to prove himself, but he lacked the context for what he was proving himself with. And the goddess, seeing a weapon that had killed her predecessor, saw this ambitious wizard as losing his way and coming for her just like the weapon's creator had. She was angry, she withdrew his link to her, and he didn't know why. So he drew the conclusion that she took his powers to punish him, and let that encompass his fall from grace.

Was he wrong to reach for what was out there?

If you knew that the answers to everything you cared about were not only known, but kept by someone you loved—someone who adored you—what would you do to ask to see them? What if your curiosities were if there were other planets with life out there, or how dark matter worked, or whether or not we could one day travel in the stars? What if it was the potential cure to an illness that's little-understood, or the way to make a program you dreamt up, or the scope of the true limits of your artistic talents? Would your answer change?

Was she wrong to cut him off?

If you were once hurt, and the person you loved—the person who adored you—brought the thing that caused it to your door, believing you'd want it, how would you react to seeing it? What if that thing was someone you thought you'd broken contact with, like a friend or family member you'd been trying to avoid? Would your answer change?

That's the sort of scope that needs to be applied to this, on both sides. You have to take the perspectives of each party, and apply two analogies instead of one.

Gale saw the vastness of the universe, untold wonders, the solution to every question he could ever dream up, and saw Mystra as withholding this from him because she thought he just wasn't worthy enough. To claim Mystra knew his perspective does her a disservice.

Mystra saw a cruel weapon she thought long gone, in the hands of someone who could use it, brought right to her, and thought Gale was willingly following the path of Karsus. To claim Gale knew her perspective does him a disservice.

Should Gale have researched his prize more, so he knew just what he was obtaining? Should he have kept his hands off a cursed book that would devour him? Of course he should have.

Should he have given up on chasing his dreams?

Should Mystra have understood that Gale's pursuit of power was nothing like Karsus'? Should she have communicated when she was angry instead of giving the cold shoulder? Of course she should have.

Should she have given him the benefit of the doubt?

That's the root of their falling out. That's what leads to hurt being inflicted. Understandable, human reactions to the situations they perceive. Unhealthy, unwise choices made afterwards.

You work backwards from this to figure out their dynamic as Chosen and goddess. You work forward from this to understand more of where Gale and Mystra are during the events of Baldur's Gate 3. Gale reached too high, and understands this. His goddess hates him, and he regrets this. Mystra isolated Gale, and understands this. Her Chosen wants redemption, and she wants to make it happen.

Just like we took Gale's character into account, we also have to take Mystra's.

A goddess is faced with a problem. She uses someone who's desperate for approval to solve it, by telling him to kill himself.

An evil goddess is faced with a threat to her reign. She sees someone who's unfailingly loyal and hates himself, and elects to have him tear himself apart rather than do anything about it.

A good goddess is terrified of the future. She sees someone who tried to hurt her, who's going to die anyways, and tells him to use it to save the world.

Same story. Same act, same power, same pawn. Different character. Different perspective. Different outlook on whether or not this is the right thing to do.

Mystra has died, multiple times, to people trying to stake claim to her domain. Someone appears with the very thing that could do it again, right as she's regained her stability.

She does not see mortals the way mortals do. She is timeless. She is eternal. She has a duty to protect billions of people, and one person lost to protect that number is more than worth the sacrifice.

People like to bring up the Seven Sisters as proof of Mystra's cruelty. For those unaware, Mystra asked permission to, then possessed, a woman, used her to court a man (with dubious consent from the woman), and bore seven children, all of whom were capable of bearing Mystra's power as Chosen without dying. The woman she possessed was killed in the process (reduced to no more than a husk, then slain by her now-husband, hoping to end her suffering), and the husband was horrified by the whole story.

Mystra needed Chosen in order to restore herself in the event that she was killed again, to prevent magic as a whole from collapsing and wreaking havoc on the mortal realm, like it had in the few seconds Mystryl had been dead. Elminster, Khelben Blackstaff, and the Seven Sisters contributed to this. The more Chosen she has, the better; what happens if Elminster dies? She can't afford to have all her eggs in one basket.

Mystra has Volo (yeah, that Volo) as a Weave Anchor, imparted with a portion of her power to prevent the Weave from shredding itself to pieces in her absence. All Chosen of Mystra are Weave Anchors by nature. The creation of Weave Anchors was mandated by Ao, the Overgod, and Chosen are the best way to make sure those anchors aren't drained by ambitious people hoping for godlike power. Chosen can, and will, defend themselves, unlike static locations (which Mystra also has). The anchors are why the Weave wasn't completely obliterated during Mystra's last death, when the Spellplague rose up, because they stabilized the Weave around them.

Everything Mystra does is in the name of the big picture, to prevent a catastrophe like the fall of Netheril from happening again. Her restriction of magic, her numerous Chosen, her creation of Weave Anchors, her destruction of those who would claim her power, it's all in the name of the stability she's been charged with. Dornal Silverhand's grief and Elué Silverhand's death, while regrettable, were worth it to bring seven more anchors into existence to save all of the Material.

So someone appears with the Crown of Karsus, potentially powerful enough to try to kill the other gods in the name of the Dead Three. She can't risk being a target of them. She can't risk the destruction of magic again.

Gale is going to die. He lives in fear. He begs for forgiveness.

In Mystra's eyes, she's offering him the best outcome. She'll let him die in service to her, to save Faerûn, and she'll forgive him. He's going to die anyways, and if he does this, she'll give him everything (she thinks) he could ever want in her realm. She's asking him to do what (she thinks) is the right thing.

"She would consider what she considers to be forgiveness."

Notably, she leaves the decision in his hands. She doesn't have Elminster lead him to the Nether Brain. She doesn't activate him as soon as he's there. When he lives yet, she doesn't revoke the charm that keeps him stable. And when he declines, when he lets it go and starts pursuing Karsus' path, she doesn't smite him on the spot.

She is (she thinks) being incredibly patient. If Gale is going to try to be Karsus II, she's ready for him. If he decides to walk off and keep the Orb, he's dug his own grave in the Fugue Plane (those who don't have a god to claim them roam endlessly as husks and form a wall of bodies around the City of Judgement).

From her perspective, she's not being unreasonable. But from the perspective of a mortal, she absolutely is.

"Now, I have a question for thee: what is the worth of a single mortal's life?"

This is a question she cannot answer properly.

I think a lot of characterization is lost whenever someone paints one of them as being totally in the right. But I also think you have to be invested in them as characters to want to see that characterization. If you want to write about Mystra, you have to try to get into her head, analyze the decisions she made, figure out why she thinks she was right, and follow the pattern.

Gale's sacrifice is a very predictable thing for her to ask for.

#bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #mystra #long post #like really long post holy hells #did not expect this to go on for this long #swearing tw #< for karlach #oh yeah #astarion #karlach #wyll ravengard #shadowheart #lae'zel #ask bee

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theworldinclines · 1 year

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i say this with my whole heart, i love us broccoli nation, but anyone thinking that win is out of character based off episode 1 has inherently misunderstood his character. we saw nothing of him in uwma, nothing, and i say that bc he was nowhere near being a Main Character with crumbs every other episode. and that's ok, bc the story wasn't about him, so everything we see is surface level. he jokes, he flirts, he's not very serious - but that doesn't mean he is never serious, we just never had reason to get into that detail bc it was dean and pharm's story, not win's. we are finally seeing what win is up to while dean and pharm are in their little world, and it isn't just him being a fun loving goofy side character. it's who's he's always been, when we're shown his perspective, when we focus on his being. win isn't going to view himself as the person pharm (who has no context, just like us!) sees draping himself all over team at lunch, knowing so little that he has to ask dean if player win is a good guy for team to associate with. win is a middle child who has had to basically act as parent and mediator to his brothers, hes fiercely loyal, and is someone used to adapting to the needs of whoever he's with. that's who he's always been. he can be funny and joke with team after they've know each other a while, as we saw in uwma, but we are quite literally at the beginning here. speaking as someone who has loved and analysed win's character for years, to say they've rewritten win to be a hard-ass is just untrue. he can be more than one thing, he has layers, he has depth. he's a well written character. i know we might not be super used to that with a lot of these series lol but we won this time. so be open to getting to know him!! boun for years has put his entire heart into crafting win into a realistic, lovely person and it shows and im so happy to see win portrayed so wonderfully :))

#it just makes me like sad ?? to see people saying these things as tho the writers dont understand win's character #and i know we are so used to writers completely fucking us over w one character assassination after another but this isnt that #hes like this in the novel and then some #its like how we saw team rushing to take care of pharm after the grocery store w dean #we never saw that in uwma we didnt get to see team comforting pharm there #but now we see it and get to see a side of team that we didnt have before and its the greatest ever #this is the same thing #buts #between us #between us the series #my writing #win #buts spoilers

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desire-mona · 1 month

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yooo hello fellow allison cameron is a lesbian enthusiast!

i was wondering if you would like to be mutuals?

i need more house obsessed mutuals that i can yap to! and you seem v cool too:)

ALSO YOURE INTO SHIFTING LETS GOO‼️‼️

(hope that this doesn’t come across as weird)

YES HIIIIIIII!!!!!!! im using this opportunity to talk abt comphet!cam bc shes soooooo on the mind, i thiiiiink i stole this point from @blue-boulder in case u want another lesbian cam mutual

camerons comphet was so on display basically the entire time she was on the show to the point where its comical. first of all her "relationship" with chase (or lackthereof) being PURELY sexual and based off the fact that she was just bored and saw him as suitable enough. r u kidding me. also the only other time where she had sex with a man (still chase, womp womp #chasehater) being when shes high. exploding at that. and also side eyeing chase soooooo fucking hard, that man has zero understanding of how consent works.

i think cameron and wilson have a lot in common in terms of their reasoning for why they get with/ are drawn to the people they are. and thats also a big part of wilson comphet too, bc they both rly like feeling needed. now ofc cam goes abt it in a much better way bc she doesnt cheat on anyone, but you can tell with her marriage, while not lacking love, was most certainly based off of her desire to be someones lifeline per se. her brief sorta fling with that charity guy in that one episode is another example of this as well, but i do think another factor was her admiration for his morals and character. and again with house, which i will always laugh at because if that isnt the biggest case of "i can fix him" in the entire world then idk what is. wilson however just kinda gets with women who need him (or who he perceives as needing him) and then gets bored when they. dont. speaking very surface level bc this post isnt abt him. either way, wilson could learn a thing or two from cam in the comphet department i suppose. i really really wish we got more of cameron, if she stayed thru the whole series i think a whole lot of my life problems would be alleviated at the very least. i wanna see her get a girl crush!!

also, she absolutely 100% dresses like a queer woman, even for the early 2000s, like look at this

because wdym waistcoat and white button down with puffy sleeves.

n e way not a super in depth analysis cuz im kinda spitballing and not in a place of house md analysing but its good enough. hello new mutual!!!

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thetwelfthcrow · 5 months

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the best part of the fortnite articles wasn't even posted

Theres one with like 3 paragraphs going in depth about how lando was actually calling lewis "lulu" instead of "lewlew" and was "mocking and demasculating him" by "equating his name to that of a female's." (this is also inaccurate, for anyone who has fallen for it, because I've seen this idea floating around a few different socials). i wasn't feeling well mentally and had the day off, and i watched the whole stream. he ALWAYS referred to the lewis characters as "lewlew," usually in a very fond/excited to see them way/tone.

then this same article tried to claim he had his character bow at lewis' feet to make up for the mocking and i just — yeah. yeah. he meant to do that. that explains why he was so embarrassed he covered his face and looked away from the stream for several moments lmao.

and then don't even get me started on the oscar "mortally wounding" lando claim. that's based off nothing lando has ever said. he was disappointed in himself for making so many mistakes in Qatar, but he was never disappointed in oscar for doing better. He's mentioned Qatar and congratulated oscar in every single season in review video I've seen. This claim is based off some shit brundle was spewing. which is why i am once again, begging for all of the "British bias" bullshit to stop when it comes to non-merc drivers. Like there's a British driver on the grid who actually had the worst season of his career (I'll give you a hint: his name isn't in this message) and basically came last of the drivers in top teams that people had high hopes for, yet you still have brundle and sky calling him a future WDC and an imminent threat to lewis while basically throwing a #LandoNorrisIsOver party. The whole thing is quite funny.

(sorry if you got 2 messages like this, my internet keeps being weird so i wasn't sure the first one sent)

jesus fucking christ people are DELUSIONAL. i suddenly feel a lot better about overanalysing max/lewis as a ship, compared to people saying lando using a nickname is demasculating. i mean - lando is called lala by his cousin, i'd reckon he's got lewlew from it.

they are OVER analysing NOOTHING here. he didn't bow down he fucking clicked to make his character duck and then got flustered bc it looked like his female character was giving head to lewis lmao.

lando's the best fucking teammate on the grid. never seen anyone as supportive of his teammate as him. i think im not getting your lines but it might be bc i'm tired. and yeah british bias is the worst of all of them. even viaplay's dicksucking of max is nothing in comparison.

oh yeah my favorite british driver! how dare you speak truths about him. it's so fucked up to me how the british media is so fucking negative about good drivers (also w lewis' 'this is lewis' second season without wins' or something post like HELLO he's also a 7 time wdc) or how they (like everyone, really) keep underestimating lando. if i were british media i'd be embarrassingly proud of my countrymates. every mistake they make is fine dw you're the best and every good thing they do gets praised into the heavens. but no, of course they only do it with mr Public Relations. and not mental-health awareness lando or activist-for-everything and also the only black guy on the grid lewis.

fucking tired of F1 journalism. can they all collectively stop? scrap presscons too, only give us post-race interviews on the paddock and then w everyone and done. i'd be happy. all drivers will be happy.

#Anonymous #F1 journalism (derogatory)

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mitziholder · 6 months

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apologies for being weird and hogging your inbox like this but i LOVE your thoughts on fandom and i think very few people talk about it in a critical way without completely condemning the entire occupation. in my experience people (not just on this website but in general) tend to take a very black and white view of fandom/fic, probably because it can feel like a very personal thing for many; either they're 'normies' who think all fanworks are 'cringe' or they're the anything goes kind of person. radfems seem to me to be the only ppl who aren't overly defensive of the enterprise but can still enjoy fanworks critically. its nice to see women who aren't like. Fandom Moms talking about these things at length. i think you're one of the few people i've agreed with regarding this subject so far :/ your analyses are very much appreciated and i'd love to read more of what you think (especially regarding the point about navigating trauma). have a good day!

oh and also regarding the whole 'i want women to read better thing' ive always felt this idea that fandom culture is above criticism (or criticising it is inherently misogynistic) is in some ways an extension or at least related to the societal notion that women should be confined to the fluffy feeling aspects of writing and art and aren't as capable of intellectually engaging with things (and of course some 'criticisms' of fan culture ARE misogynistic but i'm not referring to those atm). and obviously there isn't anything inherently WRONG with silly fluff novels or romance (especially romance of course as one can certainly explore that subject in depth and i actually think there's a lack of well written romance out there) but it still feels like a limitation on female growth to normalise women ONLY reading fanfiction or even only certain brands of genre fiction i guess? and i find it sad that so many women seem to almost buy into that idea nowadays or shoot down any sort of criticism with the 'stop shaming female desire' catchphrase. and considering that there is still a dearth of well made original female work for women in pop culture (that act as cultural touchstones in the same way a lot of male works do) it's even more depressing that a lot of fanwork centers men. sorry if this comes off as insufferably pretentious lmao! i'm not even against fanwork i mean this is tumblr i still enjoy things but hopefully you know what i mean lol

like i mean. there's a reason why fanfiction is seen as primarily a female affair (even though a lot of the highly regarded published fanfics are by men. u know the neil gaiman stuff or whatever). its sort of a reassurance that women are 'limited' to writing fanworks. idk. i guess i want women to do better idk if im making any sense

ok, mandatory disclaimer that what I’m describing here is a series of trends, trends I’ve observed within fandom at large including both fanfiction readers/writers and fujos more broadly. obviously, not everyone who reads fanfic or yaoi is a woman (though the vast majority are). obviously, not every woman who reads fanfic or yaoi is a stunted teenager who refuses to engage with any other media. I will also admit that not every fanfic is jimin ABO. I don’t think that fanfic is inherently cringe or low-quality, and there are certainly a lot of respectable published works that have been created with other people’s characters or settings. but, as I’ve said, the vast majority of fanworks in the modern day are essentially pornographic mad libs. I find that disappointing. and there’s no reason it has to be this way… except for all the reasons I’ve outlined in my other posts.

things that are lazy and thoughtless and easy, that provide instant gratification, are generally more popular than things that are difficult or uncomfortable. clearly. but people who denounce all fanfic/fanfic writers and pigeonhole it as low-effort slop are not actually interested in helping the women who write it achieve their fullest potential, because they do not believe those women have any potential. it’s true that some criticisms of fan culture and fanworks are purely misogynistic… but I care about women’s voices, and I do want women to be able to express themselves. I’m not on a quest to stop women from writing or reading fanfic. I’ve been slightly flip about the subject, but truthfully, not everything that is “derivative” is bad, and there’s no reason that fanworks couldn’t be good. it’s just that the culture around them is so intensely sensitive - anti-“shaming” - that women are terrified of saying anything about the level of quality or the potentially harmful nature of most fanfiction because they don’t want to devalue media created by and for other women.

I think that’s a disservice to women as a whole. not everything we write is valuable. I’ve written plenty of crap in the pursuit of getting better - plenty of crap I currently disagree with. and if our work can’t withstand criticism - if we shut down immediately at any hint of a deeper, more unflattering analysis of what’s really going on… then what’s the point? what are we communicating? that female fantasies exist in a compartmentalized bubble far and away from our politics and intellectual pursuits? that we should be able to j/o to rape fantasies without question because it’s not that serious? that the personal is political, except for when it isn’t… and we should all be quiet and let women write whatever they want free of criticism lest we shame them so hard they go into hiding? my standards might be a tad high, but that is setting the bar… dangerously low. it’s also patronizing. since when has “just let women enjoy things!!” ever gotten us anywhere? since when has that been a cornerstone of feminist thought? is that really the best we can do? are we really so fragile?

I’ve seen a glut of posts about how useless and harmful constructive criticism supposedly is. the reasoning is always basically the same:

criticism is mean/toxic/discouraging

maybe I’m too hardened by countless death wishes I got on my old blog, but, in my experience, whenever I have something I want to say or a point I want to make, very little can keep me from doing so. I can’t imagine being so bothered by what random Internet people think. it’s important to remember that being able to determine what criticism is valuable is a skill in itself. disavowing criticism as a whole because some of it is “toxic”/discouraging is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

criticism is pointless; perfection is unattainable

of course nothing is ever going to be perfect. but if that’s your attitude, why bother editing? (rhetorical question. some fanfic authors do post unedited works… just because they can.) hell, why write? why get up in the morning? why make your bed? why try anything new at all? it’s a completely absurd, defeatist attitude. like the first point, it also reeks of intellectual laziness and self-satisfaction.

you could just be nice and say what you liked instead because that’s helpful too

please don’t blow smoke up my ass. in editing, I want to fix things that don’t work and to trim the fat. is it “kind” or “helpful” to let me do something completely stupid because you’re too afraid of embarrassing or offending me to say as much? also, knowing what people like is useful in producing more of what people like - it doesn’t help me do anything new or different. there is nothing less helpful to me than saying “good job!” when I ask you to read my work. it’s certainly nice (as long as you actually read it), but it’s not helpful.

it’s published, the author is through with it, and they don’t want to touch it anymore

I plan to do everything I can to edit and improve my writing before the thing is drawn and published, but I’m sure some flaws will inevitably slip through the cracks. currently, I’m rewriting entire chapters from the beginning because they became incompatible with what I wanted out of the series as it progressed. considering that a lot of people write fanfic on a chapter-by-chapter basis with only a very vague trope-strung outline, I have to wonder why they’re so averse to major overhauls. sure, it’s not pleasant, but don’t you want your writing to be the best that it can be? what is the purpose of uploading it if you don’t want the thing to be responded to as it is, warts and all?

also, not all criticism is limited to the specific work it’s derived from; many things can be extrapolated to future works as well. how are we supposed to correct trends that could lead to a decrease in the quality of future works if we can’t even point them out?

fanfiction is a hobby, and hobbies should be fun

I’m not under the impression that I’ll ever be able to make a living from my writing. I do it as a “hobby” in my spare time simply for the fact that I need an outlet for my thoughts - I need to organize them in some way. writing is an art form that we use to communicate meaning and to make sense of the world around us. your goal as a writer may be to have fun, but it isn’t mine. overgeneralizing and building an entire subculture around the pursuit of mindless fun limits what fanfiction and amateur writing have the potential to be.

you could just go read something else that you like more

actually, no. I don’t like any of it. I’m sorry if saying that is offensive to the 38-year-old she/they whose blog post I grabbed this from. most fanfic is bad. I yearn for the exploration of topics that are categorically not explored in fanfic - because the scope of what fanfic is interested in is constantly narrowing, feeding on itself, like an ouroboros. this problem is only going to get worse over time. why wouldn’t I be bothered? why can’t I say it’s a shame?

mass media and tiktok are worse!

maybe, but so what? at least the majority of people who spend their time watching tiktok videos and bad TV don’t act like it’s a suitable replacement for real literature. and at least there aren’t tiktok compilations being listed on goodreads(?)

anyway, more to the point, fandom is full of technically competent writers. but if they continue to insulate themselves within fandom or fandom-adjacent offshoots, they will never be great writers, because great writing requires tight editing (the elimination of things that are pointless and redundant), syntactic fluency, organizational skills, and, most importantly, an individual voice - an artistic vision - interpreting individual ideas… things that are born of criticism and a diversity of influences that are not present or valued within fandom in its current state. great writing cannot be made in a vacuum. great writers don’t allow themselves to be broken or stifled by criticism they disagree with.

sure, no one has a responsibility to be a great writer, and mediocre writing isn’t a moral failure… but I’m certainly not going to be happy about it, especially when the prevailing attitude is “fanfic is art… but I make what I want for myself and sharing it with you is a privilege and therefore you can’t criticize it!” how boring! how utterly conceited! my god. throwing a temper tantrum because you’re not 100% in control of how others perceive or respond to your creation. put it in a diary and not on a public forum if that bothers you so much… (but then, of course, you couldn’t count kudos.)

I do have a plan to touch on some of my other gripes since you asked so nicely. but this response is, once again, getting too long, and those things have little to do with what I was complaining about here. I’ve got an outline for a post I’ll develop and publish later as a final note on this convo, since at that point I really will have said all that I have to say… thanks again for writing in :-)

#ask #i'm being flip again. there are a few fanfictions that i've enjoyed #but they were gen + about female characters (EXTREME RARITY LOOOL)

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trickstarbrave · 3 months

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i wanna do a long morrowind video analysis because i think a lot of the current ones are very lacking. don't get me wrong, i am the brand of autism that likes hearing someone talk for 8+ hours recounting various plot elements and summaries beat by beat in a piece of media. it's one of my favorite things to watch, actually. but i feel like that isn't really getting into the meat of morrowind.

anyone can write a detailed plot breakdown and synopsis of a video game questline. anyone can do that for every questline in the game. anyone can do that and say "this is good writing. you just heard me talk about it and think it sounds good. therefore, morrowind is a good game". you can even do that with fallout 3 and i think you'd be missing that all of the plot elements dont necessarily tie in together well, or why they should tie in together to make the story more cohesive. you can ignore logical faults and claim its a good story. the analysis is also very surface level and lacks any depth. someone can say "well i dont like chosen one narratives. therefore i think morrowind is cliche and bad based on your explanation".

it also just lacks anything personal in the analysis. i don't learn anything from whoever is giving it like what kind of narrative pieces they like and why. what backgrounds they have. all i've learned is that they did tasks in a game and found doing those tasks rewarding.

morrowind is a game with lots of complex world building, obscure references, and connections to much larger, real life things. things like religion, politics, the nature of war, and psychology. it's filled with morally grey people and morally grey situations that you the player are forced to be an active participant in and forced to think about and question. the morrowind analyses that are so common are like if someone signalis without really touching on the king in yellow, just mentioning offhandedly that it's a real life story, and then moving on.

however. i am not very good at narrative analysis. i haven't taken an english class in 11 years or so. im good at character studies and smaller analysis, but i feel like i can't really do large narrative deep dives and pick it all apart. i really want someone with a better grasp of those concepts to do that instead because i have no clue how to do it myself.

maybe i'll just do character analyses instead

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latetaektalk · 21 days

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Ok while all of our hearts are collectively breaking, I wanted to share a little irl story that I think about whenever I reread LTHY. When one of my best friends, who suffers from anxiety, started seeing her now husband, I asked her mom what she thought of him. And she told me she thought he was perfect for my bestie because "he's so patient with her." And that just really stuck with me because that's not a compliment you hear about people, especially men, often. You'd be more likely to hear something like, "he takes such good care of her" or something like that... but patient? What a beautiful thing to be for another person. To be someone who gives someone else the support, time, space, and compassion to work through things on their own. To show them love, respect, and acceptance of who they are.

Anyways, whenever I read LTHY I always think of this moment because Jungkook is just so patient with OC and it really is so beautiful. Despite the tough ending to this most recent chapter, he was so patient with her when he came to pick her up at the mall and as she tried on her outfits. Even as she was fighting with him outside of his parents house, he was so patient and understanding, knowing that it was probably her anxiety and trauma talking. And our poor OC can feel it, and is frustrated by it, hence her screaming "why are you like this?!". Because she doesn't feel like someone who is deserving of patience, so it doesn't make sense to her. But she does deserve it and I hope that eventually she can love herself enough to accept his patience.

Are there things that both OC and Jungkook need to personally work on for the sake of their well-being as well as their relationship? A thousand percent. But what I really want is for OC to stop shaming herself for the way she is. She already feels really badly about herself due to her experience with Jaehwa, but I think an important thing this chapter highlighted was that she's compounding that with feeling horrible about herself for how she's reacted to that trauma and how it affects the way she behaves in her current relationship. She can't erase that trauma from her past completely, so my wish for her is the self-acceptance that she may be just someone who needs a little more assurance and patience while she's working through that trauma.... and more importantly that she's deserving of someone who is willing to accept her with those scars and meet those needs. But until she's receptive to it and feels she's deserving of it, all of the patience in the world won't be enough unfortunately. Giving someone else patience is really extraordinary, but it's even more extraordinary to be accepting of deserving patience.

oh my god i think i reread this ask over and over again because i genuinely never thought that anyone would analyse my story so much in depth !! im so so so flattered and amazed oh wow 🥹🥹

i definitely agree with you anon!! youre really pointing out some of the few things i really tried to hint at in the chapter! oc says it herself too actually both in the chapter "How even if you tried, he remained patient with you." and here. jk's patience surprises her over and over again. in the end, i think just because of his seemingly unwavering patience jk is able to be so understanding and empathetic towards oc. and its exactly that patience that oc cant accept because of what happened with jaehwa and her. they broke up just like that. there was no time, no patience. she was dropped like a hot potato and told to move on just like that.

i think even more than that its glaringly obvious also that oc never really offers herself any kind of patience. she gets so in her head and critises herself so much, how could she possibly go ahead and accept jk's patience?

both of them have a lot to figure out and i genuinely feel for oc so much because god knows that shes been through enough.

thank you so much for sending this in 💓 reading your take was so interesting and warmed my heart in ways you cant understand because i really wanted to get these things across !! thanks so much 💕

#when i first read this ask i had to pause!!!#im so so so flattered omg #because youre!! so!! right!!#im glad that youre able to see what im trying to do with oc #show how difficult all of this is for her and why she just cant ignore it all and go ahead and meet jk's parents #even though the conversation we witnessed of jk's parents and him was so nice #why she cant even begin to accept jk's kindness and empathy !!#fic: love to hate you #linh.ask #linh.anon #for me

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arielluva · 10 months

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so incredibly jealous of people that can do those in depth character analyses because i am just. not good at analyzing characters. i sure do have lots of feelings on characters but best i can do is rotate them on the microwave dish of my brain and draw them sometimes.... if i knew how to do character analysis it would be over for you guys because currently i dont tend to notice a lot of things or think about things more until others point them out first 😭

i can experience something multiple times to get a better grasp of it and its characters but even then i still have such a fuzzy impression of them!!! (like literally thats what i think of when i try to think of specific characters, they just look kinda fuzzy to me (like i can see /them/ clearly, but everything around them is fuzzy) and i seem to forget everything i know about them after im done watching/playing/reading something) im gonna have to figure out how to kick my brain into analysis gear because. man i sure would like to go even more insane about characters i like

#i see character i like and go 'yippee!!!!' and frantically spin them around #but if you asked me to dive deeper and explain why i like them or their motivations i am going to have a very hard time #its so annoying how i can like. for example: play a game multiple times and think about it so much yet have really fuzzy impressions of the #characters.. like i know about them generally!! but its so hard to explain deeper than that and especially to elaborate on them

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nahalism · 6 months

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Hi! Do you sometimes catch yourself analyzing things too much, always getting really deep underneath and kind of ending up having too little room to actually be carefree and sort of experience life without the constant buzz of those thoughts, searches/analysis/seeking meanings/truths/lessons? Or do you find that’s it’s possible to + that you do best when you have both happening simultaneously? If the question doesn’t make sense let me know and I’ll rephrase it. Love& love

hey. i think i get what you mean but lmk if i didnt— i think im the type of person that ricochets between extremes in order to understand myself, the world, what balance means for me,,,, and then when i find the 'truth', or where that extreme has led me, i have a level of understanding about either me or the world that i can hone, either as an ideal to understand or one i can live up to/aspire to. — so there have been times where im in the kind of haze you described. over analysing, over thinking, isolating myself, getting deep into rabbit holes or theories about why what is what. but then i also swing to the other side of the pendulum and have times where im completely in my body, in my feelings, and in response to the world. im not over thinking, although im still hyper vigilant & it feels like im processing the world on drugs. its just in that moment, the need to understand, analyse and chew over the information on my own isnt there yet. something allows me to register everything in a more intuitive way? to where the 'buzz of thinking' still exists but its an energy i can ride rather than one thats stifling me or causing me to over question, over think, & ultimately doubt myself.

there are benefits and disadvantages to both ways of being. sometimes it feels good 'taking things lightly' and feeling unbound and i feel more social because of it. other times it feels good being alone so i can really process the world in the depth i want to without interruption or a need to discuss/debate what i feel. other times solitude and analysis feels overbearing, and the clarity feels stifling. theres all the concepts but they have nowhere to exist out of your head. their just a glass cage youve made for yourself & it can be lonely. that compared to the rush of action and freedom i feel in my 'non disciplined state' is horrible. buttt at my heart i am a serious person. i do like to consider and process and understand. so when i am in a more carefree space, i might have the freedom and the energy to express myself, but the energy is hard to harness or channel to anything thats not purely hedonistic or running off of the same impulsive energy as me. the key / balance here would be for me to channel the momentum of my energy in those moments toward goals/aims set when i am in the analytical, precise, clear space.

and so yeah the reason i explained it in such a drawn out way is that both the extremes help me understand and then actualise the middle ground thats right for me. unless a persons too uptight they may never have the reason / face the kind of discomfort that makes them understand the necessity of being happy go lucky. and if your never happy go lucky you may never understand the necessity of seriousness, or learn that there is a difference between being carefree, and being lackadaisical. vice versa. every experience especially the negative ones show and teach us things either about ourselves, what we need to keep doing, or change, to be where we want to be. deeper than that, sometimes your learning things, seeing things that you arent meant to understand now. they go in your rolodex/subconscious and pop out to save your life/tip you off to something when you least expect it.

dont let anxiety, over analysis, or anything rob you of your life, but trust your brain, trust body and trust your heart to be true mirrors for you. know that they are showing you and telling you things about your reality & that nothing shown is ever wasted. trust in ur journey bb. 🌟

feel free to dm me if u wanna chat. big love to u <33

#ask

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dapperrokyuu · 5 months

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hello!! I just want to say i really enjoyed your sort of analysis on some of the stp princesses :D do you maybe know where I can find more? Because they are so fun to read, and I am very bad at seeing deeper meanings to things and always take them very face value (autism why….) but I really want to see more of the deeper meanings for this game bc I absolutely adore it

Hello!!! Thank you, I really appreciate it, haha. Even if Im wasnt exactly the most confident, Im glad an amount of people found it fun. But as for your question! Im ultimately fairly new and not deeply involved in the fandom, so I may not be the best person to direct you nor do I have any immediate recommendations, admittedly. However, if you did fine my layman analysis enjoyable, digging into the tag will ensure youll find others like me and even better–if theyre posting more frequently about the topic, theyre 1000% even more passionate and well-equipped to speak on the princesses and Slay the Princess than I am. Im aware the tag is full of stuff that are not analyses and would suggest adding on “meta” or “analysis,” to narrow down the search…but Im also aware that not everyone tags their posts that way even if they may fall in those categories (hell, I didnt do that, haha). But I think thats a worthwhile endeavor, just in case! And uh, sorry if thats advice you already knew, haha… But!

Since this would be a good opportunity, I like to tag the game and ask the fandom if they could reply and/or reblog with metas/analyses theyve enjoyed and/or written themselves! I think itd be a fun exercise to spread the love and ideas as well as gather some metas/analyses you, I, and everyone can enjoy! Thanks in advance, if anyone does! c:

Otherwise, another avenue Id suggest is video essays! Ive also admittedly havent watched any myself, but I do know they exist, theyve been in my recommendations, haha. Theyre an area Ive been wanting to delve into deeper, and Slay the Princess is such a hot topic with tons of depth and perspectives (hehe) that Im certain it flourishes there. I welcome any recs regarding this too!

Anyways, thank you for your patience and understanding since I know this probably isnt the ideal answer. But I hope other Slay the Princess fans can point us in the right direction! Regardless, I hope you and anyone else reading this have a wonderful day!

#a wild ask appeared!#slay the princess

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tsui-no-sora · 2 years

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If you dont mind, what is karmaland like? I dont speak spanish but im curious since people keep talking about it

Oh I don't mind you asking at all I love talking about Karmaland!

At its core Karmaland is a pretty old by now Minecraft SMP there's 11 members so not a lot povs to get lost in actually and Quackity is the newest debuting member

The other debutee is IlloJuan Staxx Mangel WillyRex Fargan Rubius Lolito Luzu Alexby and Vegetta777 they are all really big and old time Spanish Minecraft YouTubers

Karmaland has had up until now 5 seasons the fifth one is the one that's being streamed right now

Karmaland is an RP server as well it has a lot of different mods some even unique to only the series it also has a scripted storyline with NPC characters all the seasons are actually disconnected from each other beyond some call backs here and there so really knowing the history of the old seasons and characters isn't all that important

There's also scripted events in which all the members meet and because of the rules and time limits most often than not all the members meet each other during the streams

The server is more rp based with characters like Lolito Luzu Rubius and Quackity now or building based like Willy and Vegetta so the lore while pretty active and consistent doesn't tend to get too heavy on the pvp side

There's many different maps and overall the series it's just really funny everybody is always trying to prank each other starting things pretty active with chat it's also pretty chill there's quite a lot of building streams as well and the scripted events are all really cool

All the members are long time friends so the vibes are just really nice on the streams

Karmaland lore wise does have a lot of interesting things like the gods the time travel the different dimension the hero's past the npcs stories and the different events + character arcs and there's quite a lot to analyse if you ask me (But I just do that for fun tbh it's not that serious)

The characters do very much exist and there's quite a few solo missions dedicated to each pov so whoever you watch while you won't miss anything from the main storyline your pov will have its own unique lore and character moments as well

My personal favorite has always been Luzu but right now I'm a Quackity main

But because of how relaxed everything is it never really overtakes just the vibes of everybody having fun and playing together so it doesn't get too heavy

If you want more in depth explanation there's also this post my mutual made it's really good and it explains a lot of how the dynamic works in Karmaland as a general not just on this season specifically

#the fandom also behaves pretty differently from how the ds.mp fandom behaves but tbh the ds.mp it's the only one that's like this #so i think that's just the norm + the age experience and cultural difference as well #i dont want this to sound like I'm trying to sell you something i get it if you just really love Quackity but have no clue about spanish #either way thank u for asking me annonie always my pleasure to rant about Karmaland :)#beloved's asks #Karmaland craze

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jackienautism · 9 months

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going 2 be real for a sec

i usually keep this stuff to myself since its super personal and i probably will just sound like a crazy person bu t i really just want to get something down and post it and MAYBE get some sort of like ? validation. that im not the only one who feels this way or does this LOL

so just. long story short. does anyone get like physically ill over seeing someone else like . engaging and doing "more" with a special interest slash interest youre really really into? like. just like 10 or os minutes ago somethting happened and i started lowkey shaking and shit (but maybe its just bc its real hot where i am rn but idk) and felt sick to my stomach all bc someone was engaging "more" with something i rly rly like and i just uuuuugh

ive had this feeling ever since i got into until dawn and the quarry lol...... this feeling has been occurring a lot less frequently than during like last year. which like. speaking of. when the quarry first came out the feeling came and WEEEENT....... ALLL THE TIME. like i wasnt even into the game that much yet but seeing other ppl engaging w/ and making content for it...... made me feel suuuper ill. or maybe was it when i first started getting into it? yeah i think it was when i first started hyperfixating. but anyway LOL IT WAS A TERRIBLE FEELING. AND IT HAPPENED SO OFTEN TOO

luckily its gotten a lot better in terms of the quarry. especiailly after joining tumblr and all. but until dawn? naaah its still very much there lol. as i said earlier, it doesnt happen as much as it used to (in regards to UD) but. it stilll happens. as i just fucking found out. ive settled down quite a bit now but good god

until dawn is such a dead fandom but theres just some things that when i see it it still makes me go wiiiild (negative). i dont know why. it makes feel so sick. and i dont hold it against anyone of course, it just affects me interacting w/ slash following people LOL! and it mainly has to do w/ sam and emily LMAO especiallly sam as ive come to find out.... i think its becasue ive projected sooo much of myself onto her that im like super protective and shit. like... shes not your fictional public character shes MINE. and thats not your public piece of media. its MINE. you know?

and its liike. i KNOW that there are ppl who are more into UD and have been into it longer than i have. i know that. and htat doesnt always affect me. but tthen therr are just osme other times where it seriously DOES and its just.... man. i wish i werent like this LMAO

i think thats like the. basis of it. im just. man. and its such a hard thing to shake off ): i know im just gonna have to "get over it" and "learn to live w/ it" but man!!!!!!

idk man. just seeing others "understanding" a character "more" than i do and seeing others do suuuuper in depth character analyses just..... ESP if its characters i rly relate to and basically projected every part of ,my being onto........ it makes me ill!!!!!! like genuinely!!!!!!!!!

and its like weird bc like. i was SUPER into mean girls the musical back in 2019 / 2020 and so forth. but i dont ever remember getting THIS BAD over others being "more" into it than i was. and this isnt just straight up jealousy. i know how that feels and its DEFINITELY not that. i truly dont know what makes until dawn / the quarry so different. maybe becasue this was the first time ive engaged more with the fandom? especially on tumblr? i dont know man. i dont kn ow

hopefully this makes sense. im just tired

#mine #text #vents #misc tag #not gonna force anyone to read this but if you do<3 thank u and please tell me im not hte only one who does or feels this LOL #[emma mountebank voice] ok :) i’m done #my thoughts

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