#im not just tagging she is autistic and has bpd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawberrybabydog · 2 years

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i feel sad that psychiatrists don’t tend to consider in these patients whether or not there’s a way for them to live with their CL. like the woman who believed she was a snake. i feel like they just kept putting her on medications and never let her try acceptance. obviously i’m not a psychiatrist or psychologist but the idea that everything has to be treated with sometimes invasive methods makes me scared to tell my psychiatrist much more about my psychosis. there are some aspects of it that are comforting, even in the short term. i’m already quite introverted so i don’t really care about appearing eccentric or whatever. but i suspect my psychiatrist would dismiss my own feelings on myself. sorry i’m rambling you can ignore that last bit of you want!! /gen - 🐑 anon (the bedtime stories tagged >:D

to be fair, typically when people are seeking psychiatrists they themselves are seeking medication/clinical treatment (at least in canada, psychiatrists' jobs are to diagnose and offer medication and basically nothing else.) also to be fair, accepting delusions (as a delusional person) is often very dangerous & i view as being a last resort in coping. even if the delusion itself isn't harmful, it can make treatment down the line extremely difficult if not impossible (if they change their mind,) and can also make a person more susceptible to developing more/different delusions. if a person living with delusional disorder accepts their delusions, that can also turn into schizophrenia or another "more serious" psychotic disorder

but you're also totally right - i just wanted to maybe give some context above. delusional people know themselves better than anyone else, and there should be more treatment options - which include acceptance - for us. just like everyone else, we have a right to bodily and mental autonomy. we shouldn't be shamed into silence or into treatment we don't truly want, or we know deep down isn't going to help us

basically, the acceptance of delusions (as a delusional person AND the acceptance of delusional people into society) is a super nuanced topic! every psychotic person's delusions behave very differently - i have nothing in common with any of my psychotic friends, but i have a LOT in common with my other autistic/depressed/OCD/BPD friends. delusional people are VERY MUCH individuals & so treating every delusional person as if we should all seek help OR we should all just accept our delusions isn't really beneficial (i know ur not saying this im not trying to strawman u /gen)

really... we shouldn't be pressured into treatment, like i said you are wholly correct. we should be given the time, space, and resources to make informed decisions about our mental health FOR and BY ourselves. seeking treatment or accepting delusions are both morally neutral, and ultimately will affect us the most

supporting psychotics means supporting those of us who are seeking/in treatment/want to be rid of psychosis, and those who dont - it's all of us or none of us

#like the reasons i accept my delusions is bc they harm me more to reject them #+ treatment is hard to find + its VERY expensive + i grew up with delusions which means mine dont operate the same #as a person who developed psychosis in adulthood #childhood delusions LITERALLY exist so that children can attempt to cope with a world they cannot understand and is too rough for them #like i am delusional BECAUSE i cannot cope without them. literally.#also because of the whole brain damage thing... that too LMAO #dogcourse #🐑 anon #asks #not dog #delusions

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catboyfeli · 5 years

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Please tell me those smiley faces mean you are joking about that. Hard to read tone on the net, but I think, and hope, you are kidding to troll the new troll. If not, my worry meter is a little past 50 already but trying to remain calm in case you are kidding. Plz don't do it if you are not in fact kidding. I won't give you the old song and dance + confidence phrases, but I will say they just ain't worth it. Instead imagine them being flamed in the butt by Spyro or ate by a giant Pacman.

hey. sorry for freaking down

my ex friend of six years decided he hates me now because i have the wrong opinions, like yknow shipping incest and all that, and some other drama happened, but honestly just fuck him, thats not what really set me off, it just made it worse. on top of that, at that very moment i got his message, my account on quotev had been disabled and ip banned for no reason

turns out someone found my private rant account and reported me lmao. i said rping rape in private is ok and everyone was pissed. even tho it Literally Is okay and many csa victims use that to cope

they then proceeded to make fun of my stories on ao3 and just. people really love makin fun of depressed autistics that are actively suicidal just bc they have ~weird~ interests. i tag my incest ships for anyone whos uncomfortable with it so it’s hurting literally Nobody. i grew up in a conservative christian as hell family so god forbid i explore my sexuality via harmless fiction. also couldve been an incest victim as a child for all i know since i remember having a dream abt that when i was a kid lol

anyway! i was suicidal as hell, nearly self harmed, was planning on killing myself tonight, contemplated calling someone, but eventually decided to talk to my mom and she talked to me long enough for the mental breakdown to subside.

today has been hell. my bpd has reached its limits for today. i cannot grow any more numb. i need a nap and someone to cry on. thanks for caring btw.

when i feel better im totally writing something more fucked up out of spite. fiction is fiction and y’all are literal dictators getting people’s innocent accounts DELETED for having opinions u don’t like. antis are literally evil confirmed tho.

no hate comments on ao3 so far though. clearly im just too damn good for them to insult B) maybe i write weird shit but im damn good at it. y’all are just jealous i’m not in your fandoms.

yeah that last part is just an act. im dead inside. but im still writing ~bad~ stuff when i feel better out of pure spite.

also hey. lmk if you have any other social media. we should talk more. i might take a break from tumblr bc its Toxic so yeah

#ask #long post #ignore #incest tw #rape tw #anti anti #suicide tw #self harm tw

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deqdyke · 7 years

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1, 9, 12, 18, 21, 27, 32, 36, 42, 48,'50, 51, 69, 77, 81, 84 pls❤

*1. Are looks important in a relationship?*I’d be lying if I said no? But also I actively try to decolonize my ideas of beauty and work on stuff like ableism and such. Its rlly helped me figure out what I ACTUALLY find attractive, and it’s not always what’s “traditionally” attractive!

*9. Describe your perfect mate*The way this is phrased squicks me out! 😫But idk! Like I said, it changes. I do tend to fall for passionate and sweet people. Like, the sort of people who really care. I also have a history of dating neurodivergent people! Most of my partners and crushes have been autistic, all have had some form of neurodivergency!

*12. Do you forgive betrayal?*I dunno! I can’t predict my brains behaviors. Sometimes someone does something Small and my brain is like “they’re dead to you” and other times people will seriously hurt me and it won’t change anything.

18. There isn’t one ;p

*21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?*Honestly? No idea. I feel like maybe but I also don’t rlly see anything loveable about myself. :/ People need to be Up Front about their feelings for me bc I’m Dense.

*27. Has anyone ever written a song or a poem for you?*

Yes!!! 3 times. First time, my ex-boyfriend Terry wrote me a poem. I’ve also had a verse in a song about me, and a whole lullaby written for me (by my partner). 💞

*32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?*Binch that’s my life story!! Of course I have!! Every fuckin day!!

*36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?*If we’re close, I’m a lil bit gay for u. If I’m gay for u, we’re probably best friends. They go hand in hand for me? I dunno I have trouble understanding platonic vs. romantic, my brain is just like “it love!!!”.

*42. How long can you just kiss untill your hands start to wander?*Usually I’ll ask verbal consent first! Sometimes I’ll get rlly into it, and (esp if I’m drunk) my hands wander, but the person usually just moves my hand and I apologise and things are A-OK. Ive had a 6-7 hour make out session w/ no hand wandering so! (That was…hard on my mouth lol)

*48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?*It happens a lot!! I either encourage them to pursue it, or I encourage them but ask them not to discuss it w/ me. Sometimes if I’m in the Bad Place I get shitty and distance myself or lash out a wee bit, which is… Not ok, but usually I’m good? I think.

*50. If your first true love ever knocked on your door with an apology and presents, would you accept?*Depends on who you mean! Idk who was my ~first true love~. My kindergarten crush? Probably not. My first partner? Maybe! My abuser? Nope!!!

*51. Is there a PERSON who you would do absolutely everything for?*…yeah? BPD!!! Ive had multiple. But there are a couple who remain consistent!

*69. What turns you off?*Homophobia/transphobia/racism/etc. Also, talking about past sexual partners? Like u can do it, it just makes me feel a bit jealous/squicky. Working on it tho!!

*77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?*I def think they’re navigable to an extent, and I tend to be a bit lenient with it. The age range im willing to date is 18-23/24, but the 18 year old is rlly rare/they have to be like, super self-reliant and in college and stuff? And even then I’d tread carefully.I would also date an older couple, personally! Like if a pair if 28 y/o lesbians approached me as a couple I would def be interested? Idk why it seems Nice.

*81. Who are five people you find attractive?*Uhhh celebs or irl? I don’t wanna tag people I’m friends with bc trust me, they know how cute I think they are, but I’m having trouble thinking of five celebs? The only person who comes to mind rn is Alex Roberts (the tabletop personality) and she’s not even that famous! So idk 😫 I might come back to this once I’m more well rested.

84. *Why did your last relationship fail?*Just because it’s over doesn’t mean it failed. I don’t regret it at all and we knew going in it might not last forever. sounds cheesy but we both helped each other improve and I’m okay w/ it. *Shrugs*

Ty!! 💞💞

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