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m4nd0l0r · 2 years

Text

More Five Hargreeves Headcanons (That are very much Canon to me)

Description: This are all definitely real! PROOF: I am Five Hargreeves’ Emergency Axe that he talks to rather than Delores (100% REAL!!!)

Author’s note: ah yes.. five x reader headcanons along with my most fav headcanon of all time: transmasc five 💪💪 im battling writer’s block again this is so slay of me (no it’s not) (this month was so trash and this is my compensation for me being M.I.A. SKKSKS) (anyway if you don’t like the idea of five being transmasc… respectfully scroll and don’t say anything pls!! no negativity here!!) (and we know the drill- five is aged up to whatever any of you are comfy w!!) (also tysm for 175 followers??? holy shit??? i appreciate it sm wtf 😭😭🫶)

Five Taglist: @ells-graveyard @noahspector @aelinismyqueen @fivelegance @ne0boss @twauna00 @placidpluto @eichenhouseproperty @heartsforsuyin @ghostlywavelengths @ghostlycherryblossomwonderland @seconds-not-decades @coolcatlover4 @emotionally-unstabel @peachy-wolfhard @its-lokilocked @raven-fandomtrash @theilliterateskankula @magicstrange @venusrambles @whereintheworldisspencerreid @honeycombdumbass @kazuive @oscarisaacsleftballsack @zenithinthebin @peachteeaaa @rchaoz @wickedmystery @wordsandnerds @umbrellatte @666abby6666 @iameddiemunsonshair @starlightinhumanform @vennythearsonist @trashmouthsahra @crinklypink @halfumbrella @wifeofcamillamacaulay (if you want to be removed/added, pls tell me via pm!!)

Disclaimer: I am not transmasc myself, I’m girlflux so I merely took my own experience trying to identify myself for the last 2-3 years, if I did something wrong with my headcanons, pls message me privately and I will be sure to add/change/remove anything that can considered to be harmful for actual trans men, this is all just for fun and I hope to not offend anyone— I merely want to share headcanons of Five that I love!!

he hates those matted fluffy socks (he’s so me fr), the texture grosses him to the point he would try to trash it (ps. klaus took it from him)

five LOVES comforters, he just tucks himself in and just. sleeps so quietly you’d think he’s dead but he just. does not snore. (you’ve tried to worriedly wake him up once… all you got was an annoyed groan and a painful smack to the lips—)

he hugs himself in his sleep if he doesn’t have blankets (unless you’re in the picture, he’ll definitely just CLING on you) it started when he was in the apocalypse, sleeping by a wrecked mattress store with no blankets, he dusts off the dirty mattress, not bothered to find any pillows or etc, so he just tries to sleep through the cold night with his own warmth, too tired from the chaos… not ready for the days laid out for him

he seems like a cat person, but he actually not so secretly wants a dog (specifically a herder dog for a farm), its in his bucket list for retirement, he wants to play with the pup and have someone by his side after his family fell further apart (s3 ending), then he can go on peacefully knowing he wasn’t rlly that alone, at least fulfilling one want of his

^ however if he could get a cat, he would get a sphynx cat… reason? he wants to match suits and sweaters with the cat (his excuse to you is that he doesn’t want the cat to get lonely being the only one wearing the ugly sweater.. and the sweater is just a plain blue turtleneck.. not even your typical xmas atrocity….)

as a kid, he had a teddy bear named mr pennycrumb, which prompted him to decide to name his soon-to-be pet mr pennycrumb in the future

my boy kins “a lots gonna change” by weyes blood, especially the first stanza, give it a listen and you’ll see.. y o u ‘ l l s e e (though disclaimer, the singer sings the song in 1st pov and uses feminine descriptors… but for the sake of five, just switch it out in your head w masculine coded words)

now- with his identity, as a kid, what awakened him to discover that he truly feels more like a guy is when he saw addam’s family— let me explain myself: he resonated with gomez- as even though gomez is considered “weird” he’s still a perfect husband/gentlemen, his charisma and charm could leave some in pure awe- and all five could think the first time he watched the movie was “i want to be this guy” rather than “i’d want to marry this guy”

with gomez and morticia’s dynamic from the movie, he will definitely incorporate their relationship on how he wants to treat his own s/o, like how he acted with delores, he was all in love and sappy, speaking italian just for her, he definitely took inspo from gomez with all of that, i just know it!!!

in a relationship with you, he would also try to know everything you like, your fixations, hobbies- he appreciates your intellect with your interests, always making sure to listen as you ramble on as your own eyes twinkling with pure interest and he only smiles softly, smitten by the sight of your love for this, how knowledgeable you are, even if its a ‘stupid’ interest or just something so niche others wouldn’t understand, he would try to fully comprehend it- as if it were one of his equations, he would study it just so he can talk to you about it, and see the excitement that radiates out of you when you realize he’s actually interested in knowing, that it wasn’t just a lie to keep you talking as they did something else- no, you notice it- his genuine interest that you see when he talks about his own theories peeks out so clearly, even if he tries to not let it out

if you speak other languages, he will try so hard in learning them just so he can somewhat impress you (for fellow filipinos however…. he cannot pronounce manananggal for the life of me…. you once had him try to say it but it ended up taking half an hour full of his tongue twisting from both his accent and the amount of “n” sounds w the word.. so basically he almost chucked a translator book to the wall— so uh… take that headcanon and r u n)

with his type (romantically), i think he doesn’t have one honestly— its more on the idea that he cherishes anyone who would care for him and vice versa, for example, he finds his siblings ‘annoying’ from their actions, personalities, likes, goals, ideologies and etc, but he still cares for them becos they’re important to him, with you, he could care less if you were rough, brash, shy, not so outgoing as others or something ‘normal’ society wouldn’t appreciate, he isn’t normal either— he’s a guy with a bloody background and superhuman powers, why would he care that much? if anything he would only appreciate you, even if you’re the polar opposite or almost carbon copy of him, if he truly cares about you, he accepts everything about you, just like how he accepts how his family is just dysfunctional as he is

in the topic of relationships and sexuality— i also think that he’s in the aroace spectrum- specifically demiromantic and aceflux (for those who don’t know- demiromantic means that he feels romantic attraction once he develops a strong emotion connection) (as for aceflux, its when someone sometimes feel sexual attraction, but in other times they don’t feel attracted that way, its fluid; changes even)

^ with that said- though its a well-known headcanon, i think he discovered it when he feels uncomfortable with the handler’s flirtatiousness, knowing it was fake— he likes sincerity that are peeking through the mask— not just soft smooth words that sway everyone else, he wants to feel truly loved, especially with everything he’s experienced atp

and now for cough cough scenario headcanons… drum roll please……

five successfully going back to 2019 with ONE (giant) mishap: he’s back in his 13 yr old bod, pre-transitioned AND… he was technically closeted too so.. oh brother….. at least…… he was a late bloomer as a kid so he’s pretty okay that he doesn’t need a binder again.. yet.

HOWEVER, he definitely stole school boy shorts from the other boys’ childhood closets cos his old closet only has uniform w the skirts

he also mentioned that he refers himself as a boy to the rest of the umbrellas so bluntly his family just goes with the flow (they’ve witnessed far more bizarre things atp, they don’t dare try to question this cranky little shit)

five being so ANNOYED with his higher pitched voice again cos he hasn’t took testosterone yet at 13 (he took it once he was in the commission as part of ‘extra’ stuff in his insurance (cough the privilege of being the handler’s favorite cough))

he always— painfully itches himself every time, his fingers scratching his own skin as if he’s trying to get out of his own body, because he doesn’t feel right— he feels like he’s found himself in the different room; it felt wrong to him

with the body change in s1, when handler said he’d give him a better body, she definitely tries to poke him the fact that its a cis male body as a manipulation tactic cos she she knows about his gender dysphoria :”(

speaking of gender dysphoria, it makes his annoyance for being back at his 13 yr old even more prominent cos frankly, he feels like he’s not himself again, especially after finally being so euphoric fully transitioning and all- he has do it all over again, including the insecurities

cough scenario time 🕺(im very lazy to write pls bear w me SKSK)

: younger you (either stealing from your parent who’s a doctor specializing w gender reassignment or from a literal clinic).. just stealing testosterone pills from the cupboard trying to give it to pre-transitioned five— and five is just touched- almost tempted to actually take it, but he doesn’t take it- instead he blips, then puts it back but he still appreciates the thought :((

the euphoria of him wearing his first binder, his first suit, being finally referred as sir and he/him for the first time— right after- when he gets to look at the mirror, he feels so manly, and for once- he felt right in place, not as if he were a missing piece in the wrong puzzle

you referring him as your boyfriend, or husband even, he won’t admit it, but it puts the most giant smile in his face, and his ears go red just from it, not just he feels so honored, but its also cos he feels so validated by you, someone he cares about so much that he swears he could kiss you right then and there <33 (he doesn’t, but in closed doors, he slipped a little peck or two) (i just love this man sm i cant)

#tua five #five hargreeves x reader #number five x you #five x reader #five hargreeves x you #number five x reader #five x you #five hargreeves headcanons #five hargreeves #five headcanons #number five #tua x reader #tua x you #thank you for reading my madness #tua s1 #tua 2 #tua 3 #the umbrella academy

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bitchronan · 5 years

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Sun-Struck

Millicent/Ginny

Non-magical, college, texting AU

Warning for language & alcohol use

ao3

Tuesday, 11:04

Pansy to what was our group chat name again: Millie.. what was that?

Millicent: what was what?

Pansy: you just walked into a tree?

Millicent: I literally did not

Pansy: idk how else to say this .. yes you did

Blaise: hate to agree w/ pansy but I also bore witness

Millicent: ur all dirty fucking liars

Tracey: Ginny weasley just walked past

Tracey: don’t worry millie I don’t think she saw

Theo: wait what????

Theo: ginny weasley!!!?????

Millicent has left the group

Pansy to dynamo titties: don’t think ur getting off this lightly

Millicent: why couldn’t I have better mates

Daphne: fuck right off we’re amazing

Astoria: heard you’ve got wet knickers for weasley female

Millicent: I’m blocking you all fr

Millicent @itsmilliebitches

for sale: shitty friend group, will poke their giant noses in ur business and leave their dirty socks on yr floor (DRACO), starting bid: $0.06 and a piece of gum

reply / retweet / like

Wednesday, 09:43

Pansy created the group weaslette recon

Pansy added Millicent to the group

Pansy added Draco to the group

Pansy added Daphne to the group

Pansy added Blaise to the group

Pansy added Astoria to the group

Draco to weaslette recon: oooo exclusive members only club

Pansy: this is serious shit

Pansy: no fucking around

Blaise: except for millie

Blaise: ba dum tss

Daphne: please never say that again

Pansy: you have all been chosen for your unique talents

Pansy: Millie obviously u have no talents ur just here bc ur the one w the mega crush

Pansy: Daph ur weird friends w potter we can use that

Millie: oh thanks

Daphne: weird friends …

Pansy: Draco ur just super nosy

Pansy: Tori u and Ronald are still ‘friends’ right?

Pansy: and blaise u just have weirdly good stalker talents

Blaise: right so why are you here?

Pansy: im the brains obviously

Astoria: obviously..

Wednesday, 12:17

Astoria to ronnie 🌸: what are you up to??

Ron to tori 🌟: just laundry you?

Astoria: you know

Astoria: I have laundry to do too

Ron: 😊

Blaise to draconis: you know I think the binoculars are a bit of a give away

Draco to blaze: it’s part of the look blaise

Draco: I’m committed to the aesthetic

Blaise: god ur gay

draco @dracodormiens

need new friends who can truly appreciate the effort I put into being the only one w/ taste or sense of style.. or a skincare routine

reply / retweet / like

Wednesday, 13:54

Draco to weaslette recon: this is what I have learnt thus far about weasley the smallest:

Draco: she literally does not own any shoes other than sneakers

Draco: which, quite frankly, is a crime

Draco: she’s a lot taller than you think she is

Draco: I would say around 5’7

Draco: bearing in mind millie that you are actually the shortest person alive

Draco: that could present issues

Draco: also she’s friends with loony lovegood which doesn’t speak highly of her taste

Astoria: okay I actually learnt something useful so I’ll go now

Draco: ‘useful’?? okay Sherlock do your worst

Astoria: Ron said she plays football Monday, Tuesday and Fridays and some weekends

Astoria: she’s on the varsity team

Astoria: she works at that coffee shop by the science building

Astoria: she loves animals and volunteers at a rescue shelter when she has the time

Astoria: he also said she’s the most annoying person alive, has no sense of personal space and always takes his shit

Astoria: seeing as he’s her brother I think this is a bit of a biased assessment

Pansy: Astoria thank you for your good work

Pansy: draco I’m doubting your usefulness to this mission

Draco: guess I’ll just die then

Wednesday: 16:02

Daphne to cilliment: ginnys at the library

Daphne: surrounded by admirers

Millicent to dangly: can u blame them

Daphne: god ur wet

Millicent: 🖕🏼

Millicent @itsmilliebitches

Some people are actually like the sun and everyone is just drawn to them ☀️

reply / retweet/ like

Wednesday, 19:16

Ron to grotty sibling #6: Astoria was asking a lot about you earlier

Ginny to roonil: I wouldn’t find your girlfriend asking about your family odd apart from the fact that Draco Malfoy and Blaise zabini were following me around w a pair of binoculars

Ginny: btw I bagsie letting mum down in favour of my social life this week

Ron: fuck no I already have plans

Ron: also, not my girlfriend

Ginny: not if I text her first you don’t

Ginny to birthgiver: mom I can’t come to dinner this weekend I have important plans

Ron to Mom: Can’t make dinner this weekend but Ginny will be there she has nothing on xx

Molly to Family: Any more of my ungrateful children want to stand me up this weekend?

Fred: now you mention it….

One notification [view / ignore]

Ginny Weasley @ginnyweasley like your tweet: “@itsmilliebitches: Some people are actually like the sun and…”

Thursday, 11:07

Theo to what was our group chat name again: why have we not spoken for like three days

Theo: wtf is going on??

Blaise: definitely not bc we have a new secret gc w/out you

Theo: hahaha I would rip your throat out

Pansy: :/

Theo to bbbbbbbBLAISE: who is in this secret group chat

Theo: ANSWER ME

Blaise to the-no: if I told you it wouldn’t be secret

Theo: you’d better sleep with one eye open fucker

Luna Lovegood has sent you a message request [view / ignore]

Luna Lovegood to Millicent Bulstrode: there’s a party at phi delta alpha on Saturday

Luna Lovegood: I thought you might want to come since you clearly have a massive crush on Ginny

Luna Lovegood: She’ll be there, in case that wasn’t obvious

Luna Lovegood – Add Friend / Message

Millicent to main group chat with everyone not secret cooler group chat: what are we all doing on Saturday

Millicent: rhetorical question we’re going to a party at pda

Draco: still the best fraternity name ever

Thursday, 14:12

Daphne to ditties (dynamo titties): anyone (millie) wanna go get coffee specifically at that place by the science building for no particular reason

Tracey: I’m down

Daphne: don’t remember inviting you but okay I guess

Millicent: how do you know she’s working today

Daphne: Penelope Clearwater from my business class is a manager there

Daphne: she showed me the rota

Millicent: on what grounds??

Millicent: Hey penny can I see the staff rota for the coffee shop you manage for vague and unspecified reasons

Daphne: pretty much yeah

Daphne: slytherin

Tracey to ditties (dynamo titties): okay what’s everyone want?

Tracey: millie ur ordering for everyone

Tracey: millie??

Daphne: I think shes literally lovestruck

Daphne: I want an oat milk latte w vanilla syrup

Daphne: oh look there’s potter we should go sit w him and his pals

Daphne: the sister of my friend’s best mate is my crush and all that

Tracey: as the spice girls so wisely said

Tracey: if you wanna be my love you gotta get with my friends

Daphne: zigazig ah

Tracey: pray be upstanding for the mighty spice girls

Millicent: fuck off im actually about to crap myself

Daphne to potter: oi potter who are your pals?

Harry to daphne g: daphne, fancy seeing you here

Daphne: we have ulterior motives

Harry: should I be worried?

Daphne: ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Daphne to ditties (dynamo titties): millie whats that on your cup??

Millie: ??? what do u mean

Tracey: there’s something drawn on your cup

Tracey: it looks kind of like a sun

Daphne: why does she look like shes about to pass out?

Luna Lovegood invited you to the event shindig / Saturday, 21:00

Going / Maybe / Can’t go

Saturday, 19:38

Millicent to skkkkrrrr: okay I need help of the wardrobe variety big time

Pansy: omw

Millicent: id rather not look like a bdsm stripper but thanks for the offer

Pansy: don’t speak to me or my 47000 pairs of similar but slightly varied fishnets ever again

Daphne: just wear like

Daphne: clothes

Millicent: thank fuck for that idea

Millicent: fuck u all theo will help me

Pansy: if you want to look like a stressed librarian be my guest

Millicent to main group chat with everyone not secret cooler group chat: everyone but pansy and daphne I need help with my outfit

Draco: fishnets not on the menu then?

Pansy: I resent the implication

Theo: how about a nice sweater?

Pansy: im not saying anything

Astoria: theo it’s a party not a meeting of grammar lovers worldwide

Blaise: you’re all hopeless I must truly do everything myself

Millicent renamed the group blaise + fake friends

Blaise: I approve this message

Saturday, 22:17

Millicent to blaise + fake friends: hey

Millicent: crazy idea

Millicent: what if we /didn’t/ go

Draco: we’re here so a little late to chicken out

Millicent: who’s gonna fucking stop me

Tracey: literally all six of us

Blaise: right who wants a drink?

Pansy: I want 5 please

Pansy: oh tori there’s ur boyfriend

Astoria: are u sure u know what a boyfriend is pans

Pansy: bite me greengrass miniature

Astoria: 🙄

Draco: if you’ll all excuse me I’m going to go get blackout drunk

Theo: who said you don’t have hobbies

Daphne: come on millie I’ll hold your hand whilst you pine over weasley from afar

Saturday, 23:45

Harry to daphne g: I have ur friend

Daphne to potter: is this a hostage situation?? Bc I don’t really want her back

Harry: she just did three shots of tequila then downed an unidentified drink george gave her

Daphne: definitely don’t want her back then

Harry: I think she’s gonna hurl

Daphne: oh don’t worry millie doesn’t vomit she just ruins her life through questionable decisions

Harry: ever thought that perhaps that is worse?

Daphne: but infinitely more entertaining

Harry: daph

Daphne: fine im coming

Daphne: where are you?

Harry: kitchen

Daphne to potter: where are you???

Harry to daphne g: she got away, im in pursuit

Daphne: what do you mean got away??

Harry: gave me the slip, did a runner, kicked me in the shin and took off running

Daphne: I hope it bruises

Daphne: youre a terrible babysitter

Daphne to weaslette recon: anyone seen millie?

Astoria: yea she’s with me

Daphne: is she plastered?

Astoria: she seems fine??

Astoria: we’re playing foosball w ron and ginny

Astoria: hmmm

Daphne: what??!!

Astoria: she just took her shirt off

Daphne: must’ve been slow acting

Sunday, 00:03

Draco to blaise + fake friends: are my eyes decieveing me or is millie making out w girl weasley w no top on in the middle of the living room

Blaise: unless this is a shared hallucination in which case I will be gracefully committing suicide tomorrow then yes

Tracey: dw im filming the whole thing

Daphne: maybe we should stop them before they fully have sex in front of everyone

Astoria: or millie suggests body shots

Millicent: BODDY SHPTS!!!

Astoria: oh shit

Sunday, 08:39

Daphne to millie before you ask yes you did take your top off and suck vodka out of weaslettes navel last night: not to be dramatic but I think an angry dragon has taken up residence in my head

Draco: if any of you are truly my friends you will bring me 7 mcdonalds hash browns and 5 advil

Draco: and a coffee

Pansy: already omw to mcdonalds

Pansy: anyone else want anything?

Blaise: you could see if they’ve got millie’s dignity laying around

Pansy: doubtful

Pansy: recon in draco’s room in 15

Pansy: those of you who are alive

Daphne to cilliment: [Attachment: 1 image]

Daphne: a hashbrown or 9 to wash away the shame

Millicent to dangly: I’m literally dropping out and going home

Daphne: you kicked harry in the shin

Millicent: he probably deserved it

Sunday, 08:55

Ron to tori 🌟: so my sister and ur mate have got further than we have

Astoria to ronnie🌸: I can’t think what you mean

Ron: what are you doing today?

Astoria: trying not to die

Astoria: trying to stop Millie from killing herself

Astoria: the usual

Ron: I don’t think you need to worry about that

Ron: [Attachment: 1 image]

Astoria: omfg!!!!!!!!

Astoria renamed the group ginny weasley loooooooves millie

Astoria to ginny weasley loooooooves millie: [Attachment: 1 image]

Astoria: @Millie

Blaise: omg

Draco: maybe weaslette has taste after all

Tracey: :’) it’s a proud day for all of us

Pansy: if you’d worn fishnets she’d have called you mind-blowingly fuckable instead of just hot

Pansy: just stating the facts

Ginny Weasley – Add Friend / Message

One notification [view / ignore]

Ginny Weasley accepted your friend request

Ginny Weasley to Millicent Bulstrode: so.. I know more of your bellybutton than I do of you

Ginny Weasley: but what I do know I like

Sunday, 09:27

Astoria to ronnie 🌸: so where are we going tomorrow?

Ron to tori 🌟: tomorrow?

Astoria: on our first date

Wednesday, 13:48

Ginny to birthgiver: about Saturday

Molly to Ginny: You’re not getting out of it this week. I haven’t seen you in almost 3 weeks now.

Ginny: actually I was going to ask if I could bring my girlfriend

#hp #hpfic #millicent bulstrode #ginny weasley #millicent x ginny #ginny x millicent #*fic #mine

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years

Text

– REBUILD III –

RUNAWAY RENEGADES

· COLLECTION 1 ·

“backstories”

———————————————————

- VOLUME ONE -

Dennis, Aaron, Damon, Sawblade

It was a normal (or was it?) day. The alarm on the boy's phone rang loudly, and he woke up.

Two hours late. It was a Monday.

Too tired to care, he fell back down to his bed and went on his phone. He opened Twitter and was shocked to spot the #1 trending hashtag:

#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty

He rejoiced, opening it to find millions of tweets without any context. After ignoring various fancams that made him lose hope in the current situation, he stumbled upon a thread explaining the current situation.

“#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty : A THREAD <3” The first tweet twote, accompanied with four pictures: One of Doja Cat herself, one of Nicki Minaj, another of whoever becomes the next US president, and Lana Del Rey. What the hell is going on?

“As we all know, Doja Cat, Beyoncé, and many other artists have somehow been cancelled by Lana Del Rey within a week in May of 2020,” Okay… “This is due to Lana's satanic powers.” Oh, okay. Yeah, this was the same account who said that Avril Lavigne has a clone. Who was part of the CIA. Sure, man, whatever.

“At 3:56 AM today, Doja Cat had kidnapped [insert 46th president here] and escorted him to a secondary location. Then, Nicki stabbed the shit outta him. This has caused the America fandom to go insane.” what. “Lana was behind this. As we all know, she and Jessie J had hacked into The Pentagon and made Beyonce Knowles president, for clout.” what.

He put down his phone, questioning what the hell Stan Twitter was on now. The boy approached his cat, Sawblade, who was sleeping on the floor. Sawblade yawned dramatically and circled the boy's legs. He picked her up and laid her onto his bed.

“kwjdkwjjrjrjrkjwkjwjrkj” The cat purred. His phone buzzed. It was a notification from PlayStation Messages. He opened it, eager to know if one of his friends finally wanted to play multiplayer with him.

“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello PLAYSTATION user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”

Oh, a scam. He took a screenshot of the text, and then immediately blocked and reported the user, NULL000000. Huh, odd username. Whatever, he's not gonna reply–

One DM from Twitter.

NULL AGENCIES ✓ – @NULLhiring

“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello TWITTER user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”

The same thing, huh? This NULL guy really wants his money, he guesses. First Nicki commits manslaughter and now he keeps getting the same scam messages? It's only been not even an hour today and yet so much has happened. What next, Enya comes out of hiding?

“BuzzFeed News: Famous singer Enya comes out of her big-ass castle to collaborate with Nyan Neko Sugar Girls creators for new Apple TV miniseries”

Damn, okay, this is a dream. The boy wrapped himself in a blanket, hugged his bolster and wriggled around, trying to sleep. He couldn't, so he went back on Twitter.

jimin is fr**kin DEAD (@bangtanctwice):

“dont s-word me but like why is l/*n//a out of prison again. i thought she had the electric chair already ://”

illumi killed silva <3 (@hxhoverwatcch)

“ITSSB ACK !!!!!!!!! HXH IS BAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEAAHAJAHAHAAAAA DJDJJDJDJSNDNFJDDJ”, followed by an edit of Hisoka Morow.

oikawa⁷ (@HAIKYUUUUS)

“man how the hell did furudate think a crossover w yu yu hakusho mp100 bnha kny gintama n hgtv could save haikyuu. it practically ended the moment they all ate that volcano w departure in the bg”

Kerry Washington ✓ (@kerrywashington)

“LITTLE FIRES 6 OUT NOW!!!! I'm gonna EXPLODE Earth in this one!!! I'm going back to the Early Cambrian stage!!!! Bye Pearl!!”

Internet Explorer Anitwt (@iloveboruto)

“Y’all Kurapika brought A SHOVEL to that fight with Uvogin!!! A Whole SHOVEL!!! 😂😂😂”

knas is canon !! (@moiiiraclones)

“guys i think bakugos a kurta..... think abt it.... red eyes... always stressed......”

vic (NOT SPOILER FREE!!!) (@myname_jeff)

“why is no one addressing the fact that jfk 2 is happening and like everyone involved has stans”

ray is ia rn (@cryptodorito)

“my dog just ate my dad ....... stan list !”

give moxxi another dlc (@TORGUEEEE)

“hey does anybody find it weird that gearbox just released borderlands 4 w no buildup At All. seems p fishy :(”

gerard's hand sanitizer (@raytowo)

“did mcr just do twelve concerts in three days. legends”

ceo of tanjirou (@hiskoamorron)

“pls stream jessie j now ;) or die <\3”

ceowo owof bakuwugowouwu (@bakubaby)

“yes, what i did was wrong. there are dogs everywhere starving and eating dog treats is not morally right. that said, (1/67)”

Okay, enough of that. No more. Please. Three hours have passed, and he's still very confused, if not even more confused than before. Is there some sort of event today that he missed? Why is every single tweet weird? Is all this real? Is he in a parallel universe? Is he dead?

The boy zoned out into the bedroom wall, thinking of all the possibilities of this happening. He was lost in his imagination, his train of thought splitting and exploding due to all the unusual occurrences. That was, until Sawblade voiced out her needs.

“YEEEEEEHEHEA” she yelled. She was starving, mainly because the last time she ate was like, a whole hour ago. Sad.

“Ye lah,” “Mew,” “Meow meow mew mew mew,” The boy meowed as he dragged himself to fill up his cat's bowl. “chyouooyoymeeeiielll,” he complimented, ruffling the cat's face.

The boy tripped over his Form 3 activity book as he was walking, a reminder that he should probably do his homework soon. He turned the doorknob and opened the door and he was shocked to find that his house…

Had been ripped in half.

He pushed his back against the wall and slowly inched along the wall towards the kitchen, staring down into the abyss below the house. The living room had a sofa missing, and the television looked like it was going to fall down any second. Furniture floated in the void below the floorboards, which was bent, with plumbing pipes exposed, as well as the metal rods holding the house together.

It reminded him of what Sanctuary looked like when it was floating in space in Borderlands 2. But instead of a city, it was a condominium unit. And instead of Lilith lifting it up, it was… unknown. If only he could gunzerk, or have siren powers, or be a ninja sniper assassin, or have a turret, or have a giant mech, or be super tall and have a buzz-axe. If only. But thank God there's no Mordecai. To hell with Mordecai. I hate Mordecai. He's the most straightest man. Ever. Claptrap is less straight than him. HANDSOME JACK is less straight than him. R O L A N D is CLEARLY less straight than him. Mordecai is the epitome of heterosexuality.

Thankfully, the boy reached the kitchen safely, but still very full of anxiety, and poured the cat food into a flat container, since Sawblade is so fluffy, her face can't fit in cat bowls. He emptied the water bowl, cleaned it, and filled it with filtered water, making sure it's slightly cooled. Sawblade likes it that way. As she cronched on the kibbles, he stared into the distance, wondering what his apocalypse name would be.

He grabbed a glass of water and a packet of muffins for his breakfast. As he ate it, he scrolled through his timeline as if it was the morning paper. Oh, Katy Perry gave birth to twelve kids. And Gowon killed X Æ A-Xii. With a machete. Ok. That's cool, I guess. Capitalism, y’know?

:DAMON @C0RR0Sl0N

“my house got sliced in half. im just chillin here w my cat sawblade. considering eating cat food. not influenced by any recent drama ok”

Send Tweet.

As the boy was eating, he noticed the front door to the house was missing. The entrance lead to what seemed like the side of the street. In a foreign place. The lamppost was unfamiliar, and so was the pavement design. It seemed rather American.

He peeked his head out, and lo and behold, he spotted a pet shop just a couple of feet away. The sudden shock of all this made him forget about his cat, an indoor cat, a curious one. Sawblade stepped slowly outside, and as she went into the boy's view, he stormed to catch her, panicking and swearing profusely.

Of course, this made her way more terrified, and she ran faster, and… into the ajar door of the pet shop. “SAWBLADE!!! DON'T!!” he yelled loudly as he stopped in front of the building. The boy paused, unsure whether to proceed or retreat.

“Russell Family Pet Store, since 1965” wrote a large sign on the front. It looked rustic, but well-kept. The blinds were drawn, so the boy couldn't see what was inside. The building occupied two lots, and seemed to be two storeys tall. A nice rooftop garden was situated on top of it, and there were painted-over remnants of many posters plastered onto the walls. The walls were now coated with light brown paint. This building was surely cared for by a variety of owners.

Although hesitant, the boy stepped into the store, his hands shaking. He could've probably pass out right then and there if he wasn't searching for Sawblade. He sneaked into the building quietly, determined to get his cat and run like hell right after. However, his ideal plan was quickly foiled after he stepped on a squeaky toy.

“Shit, who's there?” A deep voice asked. It seemed like it belonged to someone tall, depressed, and very angry about capitalism. The boy was stuttering, both from the panic of being caught, and also because he had to speak to a native English speaker. “Probably just the delivery guy,” A second voice assured. This voice seemed quite hard to guess, but it was surely a kind one. Very trustworthy. “Jed, is that you?” The kind voice added. Yeah, these two are totally friendly. Probably. Don't take any chances, though.

A figure approached the boy, and it towered above him. The 5'9" hulking beast stopped. “Oh, sorry, we're closed. It's Judgment Day,” the kind man said. Well, of course it's judgement day. Why wouldn't it be judgement day? “Wait, no, I'm an idiot. Martin Luther King Jr’s day.” The man corrected. “How the hell do those two even remotely sound like each other?” The first voice said, the owner sitting behind the counter, shadowed.

“M-My cat's here.” “Have y-you sa-see-sawn her?” The boy was actually very fluent in English, even more than Malay, but the panic he was experiencing kind of absolutely extirpated any knowledge of it from his brain. Really, dude? “Sawn”? What is this, Texas?

Fortunately the two were understanding. The man behind the slau– counter stood up suddenly. “Holy shit, do you speak Spanish? Habla español?!” He asked excitedly. “No, why would I–? I'm Malay, dumbass,” the boy retorted, then realising that he just insulted someone much older than he was and that was… kinda rude. “WAIT SORRY” he blurted out, sending him back into the panic that he was under when he entered the store.

“HUH?! No, I’M sorry, I just assumed you were South American just because you couldn't speak English!” The man yelled, apologizing loudly. Yeah, this dude's sure as hell white. “I CAN!!! WHERE'S MY CAT!!!” The boy shouted back, very confused at where his priorities should be right now. “Oh!” said the man in front of him.

“IS THIS HIM– SORRY, HER?!” The man asked, reaching towards the corner. “We, uh, found her just straight-up running into here. Which is really weird, since cats, like, don't do that,” he said, holding Sawblade. Senang cita. “YES!! THANK YOU!!” The boy yelled. Why is everyone yelling?

Sawblade looked comfy all snuggled up in the man's arms. “He… seems to like you,” The boy said jealously. Usually, he was the one Sawblade loved most. “I have ten cats, so,” The man replied casually. “…How? Even?” he questioned as he carefully took Sawblade from the stranger. “I just do?”

The boy still remained very confused. “Name's Aaron, by the way. Please don't call me Ay-Ay-ron. Just… please,” the kind man said. “Ok” the boy replied. “Mine's. Um. Uh.” “…” The boy thought whether to say his real, legal one, or the one he went with online, which he seemed to prefer way more than his real one. “THE NAME'S DENNIS RUSSELL. I SHARE MY INITIALS WITH A VIDEO GAME.” The white guy said, interrupting the boy's statement. “Oh. Good to know. Hi, Mr. Danganronpa,” The boy politely said. “Fuck yeah,” replied Dennis.

“And if you're wondering which one of us is part of the Russell family that's running this shop,” Dennis began, “Den, don't,” Aaron interrupted. “It's my family. But, my dad became a magician, and my dad's choosing to indulge in his gardening hobby here, so the job's passed down to me now,” Aaron said.

“G//ay Ass!” Dennis shouted. “Okay, fine, Dennis, since we got married last month, you're part of the Russell family, too, honey,” Aaron said. “Just don't–” “YEEEEEHAAWWEE PARDNER WELCOME TO YE OLDE RYUSSELL PEYT SHYOP–” Dennis yelled loudly enough to give the boy a heart attack. However, this was probably the tenth time this week he did this, so Aaron was just very tired. “Jesus.”

“Um, what is this place?” The boy was still very much confused on why there was a pet shop sitting in front of his house, which was ripped in half. “I just told you…” Dennis said disappointedly. “No, like, where am I? Why are you guys American? I'm assuming? I'm not?” The boy said. “Well, our pet shop's in Toledo; Toledo, Ohio,” Aaron stated, gesturing towards a pile of papers. “If you're lost, we have some maps, some phone books…” he continued, unaware of the current situation.

“No, I live in Selangor, so– Selangor, Malaysia, not Ohio, out of all places, God, no, and my house is right over there,” the boy argued, pointing outside. “Well, half of it,” The two pet shop workers stood at their places, trying to process what the hell this kid just said. “Like? There? Outside this gracious state that occupies the #2 spot for most arson cases in the US? That's Malaysia?” Dennis shot back, also unaware. The boy was a bit excited after hearing him mention the name of his country, but shook it off to further develop the conversation. “Yes. Somehow. Also, I really don't think this is Ohio. Too many buildings and I haven't seen any corn fields,”

“Didja know there's over 75,000 farms in this 14-million acre state? There are, ya just gonna know where to look :)” Dennis stated. “What the hell? That's way too many farms. How does… what…” The boy replied in shock, almost dropping Sawblade. “I'm sorry, what?” Aaron asked. “Yup! Lotta farms in the buckeye state!” Dennis replied excitedly.

“HALF?!” “Of it??” It seemed like Aaron was the only one there actually concerned about the task at hand. “Huh? Oh yeah. Not really that big of a deal, though, honestly; enough food here for thirteen weeks,” How the boy calculated that, and how accurate it is remains a mystery. “Anyway, how do state fairs work? Like, do corn dogs taste good? I've had deep-fried Oreos once, they tasted really good. Really love 'em,”

Aaron ignored the exchange by the two very excited individuals and opted to step out to see if the boy was right or not. In his head, he was honestly convinced he wasn't, but that was up for change. Hell, he didn't even look at his phone or the TV today, so maybe the kid's right, his house is snapped in half.

Oh, it is.

“Holy shit, Denny, come look,” he yelled, gesturing to his husband. “Okay! I hope the aliens aren't homophobic or anything! :)” Dennis replied, running eagerly to the door. “HOT DAMN!” Dennis shouted. Now the boy could see how they both looked like, especially Dennis.

Dennis was definitely over six feet tall, he had balding, spiky red hair, and his eyes were big and sunken, and had bags under them. Aaron, on the other hand, had only seemed tall because of his hair. Aaron was missing a tooth for some reason. His lower-left fang. That's weird. They were both sporting uniforms; an orange shirt covered by a green vest with the logo of the pet shop sewn near the… like the… the end of it but like in the front? Like the middle? But like the logo was on the side. Yeah

“I don't think aliens are homophobic. Have you played Borderlands? Lots of g/ay people, and they're all technically aliens. I think the aliens are g//ay,” the boy explained thoughtfully. “I have, at my friend's house this one time, but then I died and I had to, like, pay, so then I just left his house, man,” Aaron replied. “Yeah, that's fair, usually I just save and quit whenever I die,” the boy added.

“Wait, what's your name, again? This whole time, you're being referred to as ‘the boy,’” Dennis asked, breaking the fourth wall. “Shrek,” the boy replied. The two men nodded in solidarity. “Good name,” Aaron complimented. “It reminds me of my childhood, and good times, and Shrek-flavored Oreos,” he added.

Shrek paused for a bit, hesitant to tell them his preferred name, but saying it anyway because they both seem quite nice and understanding, also, his family's not there. “I'm kidding. Shrek is but only my middle name,” Shrek explained, “Please, call me…”

“Damon,”

Gender euphoria ran through his veins like that one time Thanos put on the infinity gauntlet and he was AAAAAGH, P O W E R,,, HNGGH, that but Yeah. “Cool! Hi, Damon!” Dennis said, watching Damon's eyes burn with joy. Oh, just saying, like in some more volumes, this little kid turns into a pyromaniac, so. Yeah. Watch out for that. This is Foreshadowing.

Aaron scanned the horizon, unknowing what the hell was happening. “Hey, guys, should we… go investigate or something?” Damon thought for a bit, but not too much because this thing going on seemed too random to properly scan and plan. “Um, I don't know,” he said wisely, “Did you guys hear about that thing with, like, Nicki Minaj and the president? Were you guys affected or whatever?”

“With who and what? Nick– NICKI?? THE PRESIDENT?? OF HERE?? WHATEVER THIS THING IS???” Dennis struggled to figure out what Damon was saying. “Yeah, she stabbed him or something. Doja Cat helped too :)” Damon explained, confusing the two even more. “Why?” Aaron tried. “I dunno. Drama?” “Heard Lana's involved too… but you didn't hear it from me, yeah?” Damon added.. “THE COW GIRL. HELPED NICKI. AND LANA. ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT. DAMON.”

- * Special Thanks * -

Snowball

Sandball

Gon Freecss

Killua Zoldyck

Leorio Paladinight

Kurapika Lastname

Hisoka Morow

(is that the correct spelling?)

Illumi Zoldyck

Kikyo Zoldyck (shes pretty, ok)

Kanamori Sayaka

Mizusaki Tsubame

Asakusa Midori

Pakunoda

Machi Komacine

Moira O'Deorain

Freddy Krueger

Sideshow Bob

Spy TF2, Pyro TF2, Scout TF2, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Yoda, Darth Vader, he's cool, Sheev Palpatine, Developers of the video game “Tiny Thief”, Mad Moxxi, Ellie Kurta (shes a spiderant. my theory), Handsome Jack (Not Really, Burn In Hell) (during the period of time between me writing this and me copying and pasting this, i have developed a crush on not only jack, but his doppelgangers too. help)

Angel :)), Claptrap, Dr. Zed, NOT Marcus Kincaid, Dr. Patricia Tannis, Roland, Lilith, Brick (ga/y rights), Zer0, Krieg, Tiny Tina, Tiny Tuna, Louise Bob's Burgers, Mabel Pines, Stanley Pines, Lazy Susan, Sheriff Daryl Blubs, Deputy Durland, Officer Spectre :)), Yoda Again, 2003 Honda Civic, Ray Toro, Lynz Way, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Linda Bob's Burgers, Bob's Burgers Bob's Burgers, Sans Undertale, Komaeda, Sombra // Olivia Colomar, Actually All Of Talon Bc They're Hot Af, Except For That French Guy Max, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Spider-Man PS4, Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, The Lil Psychic Girl, Uhhhh Mario Brothers

part 2 incoming.

0 notes

ubelyptus · 6 years

Text

soooooooooooo bb,,,...,.,,,strawberrry.

......I JUST FIND IT

interestinggggggggg

how you Big mad cuz MY block game seeems

skrong or summn

hanh???

oh.

well.

i never blockedt you

on snapchat

or whatsapp (you weren’t even muted),

yup, i still haven’t

but i didn’t have a properly working phone...

still......don’t

but either way you keep threatening to split on me

like a weapon…fcking

manipulative as shit

it just seems to me that you just want to?

you never imprinted tho

but she did

so why should you?

i won’t ever, again, fight....

….with you.

my favorite accomplice

i wanted to learn with an open mind

even after my phone died

how to remain soft with you.

even after being callled

“old news"

pffft

at least until

i ‘m eventually murdered by a cisgender man...

but

don’t fckn

pppppppop shit

cuz like….. literally…..all i did was change my url.

shit, i Only blockedt you AFTER i saw you referencing gaslighting.

bc uhmm IIIIIIif that is about meeeeeeeeeeee

ha!!!

how fucking dare you.…..lyk....wuhh?

like when you said there is no difference between syn and alesia?????

HANH?

oh, but you think i blockedt you first bc i didn’t wanna get my feelings hurt?

….mhhhhhhh. ok.

seeems odd since you’re not liar

right, eli????

but,,,,,so what’s this about the cozi password change? am i just shifting too rapidly between your and my reality???

bet.

no, i blocked you on things after THAT

AND THAT WAS TODAY

oh, and didn’t your friend, my so-called “fighting buddy,” anan…

.just,,,,,fckn block me like i’m useless

trash

randomnly

after all

i asked

was that they

not speak to me

about you?

but YAAAAAAS twas ONLY Me and simply Myself and just i

who ain’t wanna get….hurt.

hanh?????

oh ,

obvi,

yeaaaaaaa

yeeeei

truuuu,

sooooo

sssssorry,,,,but

calling me “old news” or saying i’m “old too”

don’t forget your girl is 2 yrs older than you

and then staying silent for these few days about changing passwords

that..... already did that, boo

at least i sent alesia third party emails thru the app, boo

she pushin 30 and can only talk you

venuse....????. no....a

talking and

w a l k i ng tragedy

entyway don’t bring that up just to be loud and wrong about that too

you’re not always wrong tho, you know

you’d probably fuck up and slit my throat

powertripping

when i’m wrong about you

and you can only do that if you

black and white

me out

to NEVER BE WRONG

AND I DO

ACTUALLLY HATE THAT ABOUT YOU!!!!!

WHY CAN’T I EVER BE WRONG, ELI????

WHY????//

OH your emotions....? about your father that after 6 yrs you didn’t tell me about?

your reality? when you have a habit of projecting?

and lowkey being dishonest

to yourself first

and then subsequently

to me????

your time? when i’m mostly on yours?????

your efforts? like ripping up notes and telling me

“my turn” to get fucked

by you

was over

when the only reason i was tiredt

was bc i crashed

too tiredt after explaining to You

that

i‘m not even going to LET you play middleman

for a baby pushign 30????

oh. bet.

but since we’re being transparent:

here are receipts with timestamps:

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-hop-hop

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop+hop+bun

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-bunny

yea you must love dirty laundry

oh.

but that’s what i knew about you.

oh:

be yr own guest my love

i Knew you would ignore the “old news” message since that's literally when you started telling on yourself

you do treat trans partners

like side hoes,

thasssa wholeBET

and some change

for you to create

cuz thassssssss

how you feel about me fr fr

so that “like” is mine but

i…..actually really Really love that you laughed tho.

bc i haven’t heard you fully belly laugh in a long time.

if ever iirh.

even after knowing you for 6+ years,

your supposed “first friend “ in the DMV

the person i can trust my life with

the only

you’re my only...

,,,,,even after i spiraled

and cut myself for the first time since middle school?

now my friends are fucking spotting you

and talking to each other

about you

oh, you didn’t know.

but i got mehndi done today

let a summer baby boy

love

a cut up

by me

body

before noon

today

thinking i’d see you and we could talk like,,,,

…..like real people do.

and you’d be distracted by the design and not zone in

on the failed cuts

on my wrist

since i’m shit at not just repeatedly carving into

white meat

when i can only use a ceramic blade

i just didn’t WANT you to

so i never “came home to [you]”

you said that on nov 4th/5th of last year

and

i’ve been looking up bpd all day

eventho i told you

i don’t trust the internet

sooooo you not telling me

didn’t hel p

but it’snot at all your job to

and i sitll

stilllstil stil stilllca’t see

....and i dind’t want you to see.

bc i’m not just a man.

i’m still femme

which you seem to love to forget

and still soft enough, i think.....

i hope…..or learning to be soft,,,,

where it won’t get me killed,,,,,

but where it still counts.

with…or without you.

either way i’m a man who loves you. a man whose phone died at 28% trying to get you to see that i was trying to be soft even after you called me

“old news”

but,,,,,.....,,,compared to …..who?????? sh....oooo??????

your new girlfriend who is 1 or 2 years older than you?????

and can’t speak to me

a man who is only barely out of 23???

and instead only whispers

to you?????

bruh, she’s clearly not fond of me.

and you’re not a liar ,

so don’t

she had to tell you that she wasn’t the one putting out “aggy energy”

specifically

during yennayer which

i ruined

and im still sorru

but which means

she’s probably done it in your apartment on purpose already, boo

didn’t think of that, did you

lingustically.,,,,,nope.

oh, but there’s power in a whisper, darling.

i am just cardinal like you

i am air too.

i should know

bc i accidentally whistled....and,,,,,,

i only blockedt you so that you wouldn’t “hurt [your] own feelings”

like you told anan you sometimes do.

sooooooooooooo yea... i

did it so you wouldn’t hurt you.

as cardinal water/pisces moons

are prone to do.

you can;t drain

and you can’t drown

ain’t that how i affirmed you

i already hurt me

when i dissociated

and i’m STILL FUCKING sorry

that there was blood that you had to see.

i couldn’t stay in my body long enough to clean fast enough

but i still didn’t want you to hurt you bc of me.

like you did repeatedly

bc of bpd or bc of basically cishet or at least cis ~queer girls

or other partners

like when you were with kat,

who’s still disgustingly attached to a messy white

and now a new black kid.....

or with shushoo.

and how you might with alesia.

no, correction: how you have with alesia.

how you will continue to, if you’re not careful, with alesia.

you’re a lion facing a prince of a house kitten ,....,

.,, who is homeless.

do you feel good, big boss?

all i asked was for you to listen t

o how you were speaking to me

on the phone

at your place of work

and when she’s there

possibly a place of worshiop

..... even after i told you

that i was intentionally putting energy into Not fighting you

and you

say you

"don’t wanna be a middle person"

but you also….wanna cape for yet another fucking cis girl.

who isn’t even muslim this time.

HOWtragic.

i couldn’t laugh

couldn’t ever laugh at sway

bc by whatever fortune if you do split or don’t

i still love you

i love you too much

but in those moments after that phone call….

after my phone died…

and my body couldn’t move to charge it.

wouldn’t move….

and all i could do was cry during the adhan.

bc you’re tooo much like matt now

i wish i knew what it could feel like to

hate someone

who called you

"OLD NEWS”

compared to a bitch pushing 30

youza WHOLE fuckn clown, dawg.

matt did this same shit

move me out for a new side bitch

yet anotehr cis

look at how cute trans love can be

no,

this is what you give me:

laughter.

BC what fucking luck.

BUT IT’S gotta be TROOF

s ince you don’t lie?/?

shit I LAUGHED TOO:

it sounds like….

NEITHER OF US

KNEW WHAT COULD

HAVE BROUGHT US

HERE, ELI.

maybe you nursing poison in your own home

and telling me i’m making you feel unwelcomed

on a blog and not to my face did it

fuckingggggggggg. why’ald.

you think it’s too much sweat????? false.

that apartment stayed cold.

too many tears?

ok ok yea troof.

but too much love? forreal?

we?????

ooooop

hoooop!!!

oh, you speakin’ french now. our collective colonizers tongue in 20gayteeeeeeeen?????

CAN’T RELATE

bc I’M TOOOOOO GAY

wow. we ruined it, fam???? fr fr?

nah, chosen fam.

you ruined us.

you ruined us over:

a cis girl and

your own impatience

and your own anger.

and my slow brain and my slow body

i’m not sure she’d find you from maryland

if you dissociated bc your other semi

but not

girlfriend emotionally abused you

until people who didn’t know you were muslim

thought you were fucking drunk

and you fucking stilllllll

work with her?????

why couldn’t you just wait until she found a new job???

ain’t she trying????

or izzzzzz she??????

hahhnh???

where was the damn rush?????

you’re like two goofy high schoool kids

reaching for the quickest nuts every 6 hours

like jesus fuck.

you’re irresponsible as shit telling me i’m a grown man making grown decisions and i see this

?????

unREASONABLE, ELI.

this isn’t a situation of a kettle calling a pot black

babe

bc i’m actually Black

and you’re not

but she’s black too.

what did i tell you:

"you datin’ two whole Niggas. if you fight me over her, you will lose either way.”

but instead you called me “obtuse”

SAT words for me

but not for you…….what.,,,.,,,,,,,, fckn luck……..

what luck,,,,,that the one person who housed me consistently

and kept me alive

when i trusted no one

would call me "old news”

and let their cis girlfriend

turn herself into your

personal "healing” …...

sibkid. \\\\

howTragic like all of CC’18

you know what happens when you slip and get sloppy and let a baby bitch be responsible for your healing?

she leaves.

for a real bitch

with microhealing abilities,

GOOFY.

she worships a new goddess every friday?????

well, i know only of orixas

and only of black power

but from what i know of goddesses OFF of OUR continent…

soooon...

at least one of them WILL want a soul from her

just letting you know it might not have to be hers.

…..OH!

and when i chargedt and openedt my phone after days of wandering. ….the last messages from you are:

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID “LEAVE [[[[MMMMMYYYYYYY]]]]]] KEYS”

like a fucking baby.

imagine that.

even to you, i’m still a whore.

out…the…bakc….dooor.

??????

i couldn’t even work a john when i wanted to

if i was sad about you.

but imagine?????

a cis-pixie woman older than you

letting you treat her like a child?????

then

imagine me feeling shamed into leaving

bc of pictures of your smiling face

after i cut myself and felt shame

that

in your unwelcomed to both me and you

BLOOD

blood

is what brings me back

to life.

how.

fucking.

why’yald.

i blockedt you so that you didn’t lurk.

bc THat is what you do.

instead of speaking with me,

you seem to have expected me

to read your blog back 7 years.

and just know all of the fatherly things that trigger you.

like…even during the times when i was afraid of my own phone and laptop for 2 months bc of my sister, brother, and birth parents????

funny how i’m the youngest of us “grown folks” and yet still find that really

FUCKING

immature.

of YOU

to do

you really never knew me, or did you…..??

you donated to me before you even knew me.

so i know your heart has parts made of gold.

but now you show off your crystals and your gold.~~~

yep.

here we are.

you’ve "only every seen [me] as a boy.”

ok. bet.

and unti this post:

i’ve hardly heard you refer to me as a man.

so:

ain’t you late?

ain’t you late, babe??

ain’t you late?

i’m a year younger than you.

which means if you grown

i musta BEEN a man too, boo.

but you’ll always be

my favorite accomplice

and always be my favorite friend too.

but you cannot think you can play me by calling me

“old too” or “old news"

for young fish who is basically femme trade

and thinking i won’t cut open a fool.

which coincidentally always happens to be me

she’s hardly out to anybody important and lying at work too.

i must be bigger fool.

bc you knew better and didn’t do better.

but i’m being immature.

ok ...,.,,.,,

cute.

your pisces moon is keeping you from seeing clearly but that’s what young water seems…to do. to much light reflected; tho it is a fountain of youth.

she’s pushing 30 baby

but true, you’re her boo.

yea, a childish boo.

you ever wonder why her playlist from you had more songs than ours did?

why she can never keep a man around for valentines day?

oh but don’t you love “patterns”, baby????

unless it’s her leaving shit around the apartment

or her triggering you

or her treating your dick like it’s foreign,

even to you.

my gay ass was shookedt

when you told me you voluntarily

triggered yourself

for her kitty too

but i AM

a grown man

who is “running” from….you

you think that statement is not…. dishonest??

you really think that statement is true???

—

i didn’t run. i just

needed space

and you afforded me none.

you couldn’’t afford it.

february is before march which is before april

sooooooo it’s always a tight month ain’t it???????

oooooooh but you afforded her plenty.

she gets to take off her fucking pants while i try to figure out if i should move from a spot next to you….

on your fucking bed.

she took off her pants to climb near you before she could even say hi to

nooonoo

ahh right

and THEN ME.

“Oh, you CAN stay”

that’s what She told me.

and you said nothing.

so i left….the room.

i never run.

you pushed me out with your captain save-a-cis silence.

it’s violence.

and

you’re still pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing

until me…you know

i, the "old news”

just feels like he should just

fucking fall

onto the district streets

and she finds it

to her fucking fancy

to fall

into your lap

like a damn,,,,zel.

distressedt.

with a roof over her head outside of your apartment too.

woooooooops!

yip, as she is probably prone to do.

her kind….isn’t new….boo.

her kind isn’t new to me

her kind isn’t new to you

you ever wonder why she feels so familiar to you?

she reminds Me of the girl who told you

she could never marry you

and is now trying to date someone just like you

so don’t be so unkind to me

or to you

or be so foolish

as to believe i gave up on you

you gave up on me

and on top of that

you think i just...ran

ran….with what clothing?

the ones you packed up for me and left at the door

that i was suppose to pick up

and slide out the back….like a fucking whore?

you just tryna be

a cissie's bae

who stay clownin on trans folks now?

oooooooh issa bet, mo

. i mean.,,,.,,.mhhhh i guess?

—==—

but troooof, i don’t “need" anybody.

but i want you.

but you need her.

that’s how it work, don’t it?????

that’s why you risk job security every day.

and let her leave her panties on my clothes.

and let her tell me i "can stay" in …..A, not MY, spot next to you

in yo'bed?

what fucking fools. the two of you.

but “no one is forcing [me] to"

oh, baby you /are/ forcing me too

i look on your blog and then find out you’ve been feeling “unwelcome in [your] own home”

this whole fucking time

all the way since early november, innit?????

if i love you at all,

what else am i to do?????????????

??????????????????????????/

know that you will self-destruct

and just…wait for you to????????????????????

???????????????????????????????/

i didn’t run.

you just fucking pushed me.

and you’re still fucking pushing.

and you’ll keep pushing.

bc that is what you do.

embe…..@strawberreli

se sá’m te konne nu’ou.

you like microblogging so much

so like it if you read this shit

#ritten #pisces tw #solar cancer cw #cutting cw #self harm cw

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multiple-nerdery · 7 years

Note

all other asks pls

1. selfie no2. what would you name your future kids? i dont know i dont know i might not even have kids3. do you miss anyone? yes. my crush. lots of friends. etc.4. what are you looking forward to? i am going to go eat a brownie once i’ve answered these5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? i mean. my friends. especially camilla, who is my best friend6. is it hard for you to get over someone? yes!7. what was your life like last year? more depression, but tons less drama8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? yesyesyes9. who did you last see in person? i mean. I was at robotics so... people at robotics10. are you good at hiding your feelings? NO11. are you listening to music right now? nah i’m watching supergirl12. what is something you want right now? yeah once specific friend to talk to13. how do you feel right now? i mean, i am a little tired from a shIte tonne of cleaning™™™14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? i mean... opposite sex? but like I got a hug yesterday from a friend16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? oh my go d yes so many of them just a whole bunch of a people17. opinion on insecurities. i have a lot of them. i’ll try to help my friends with them18. do you miss how things were a year ago? ehhh. theyre very similar. i had the same crush so... idk.19. have you ever been to New York? YES20. what is your favourite song at the moment? J-Hø from the Block by Kairos 4tet21. age and birthday? 18 and in September but guys like I’m not putting my exact birthday out there my friends know.23. fear(s) mostly death and other death related things24. height 6′2″ ish25. role model briane greene. richard feynman. my friends26. idol(s) the above27. things i hate nazis28. i’ll love you if… youre cute n nice to me29. favourite film(s) Inside Llewyn Davis.30. favourite tv show(s) RN I like House and Supergirl and Trollhunters and always Miraculous Ladybug.31. 3 random facts i sell old books for money, i like to play jazz music, and i think donald is a nazi32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? girls but theres a lot of guys in there too and some nonbinary pals33. something you want to learn russian34. most embarrassing moment trying to be nice to someone who tried to sabotage me to creat drama for no reason three whole times35. favourite subject math36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? physics professor, musician, writer37. favourite actor/actress i like a lot of them but oscar isaac is a star38. favourite comedian(s) i like trevor noah39. favourite sport(s) hockey n karate40. favourite memory ooh shit theyre mostly related to crushes so no not sharing any of those stories44. age you get mistaken for whatever age lets people think i work everywhere I’m shopping45. how you found out about your idol autobiography. physics book. friendships46. what my last text message says “sorry i didn’t see this till now what?” in reference to my mother saying hello child47. turn ons cute people wanting to kiss me48. turn offs bigotry49. where i want to be right now idk dude50. favourite picture of your idol i have so many idols and i don’t go researching pictures of them dude51. starsign virgo52. something i’m talented at being gay n music53. 5 things that make me happy friends, music, good entertainment, cleaning, fellow gays.54. something thats worrying me at the moment my friend is havin a hard time55. tumblr friends im not tagging any of them because i don’t want to accidentally insult someone by forgetting them i’m sorry im a memory klutz56. favourite food(s) chrizo is big fr me57. favourite animal(s) cats n dogs58. description of my best friend she’s so cool n she’s an artist and a model and legit the coolest person n she’s very gay n has great hair and is a very fuken interesting person i love her so much she’s such a sweetie59. why i joined tumblr my then boyfriend had one an i was all like... okie60. ask me anything you want AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION!

#Anonymous

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freeirb · 5 years

Text

also, to be more specific about what happened last night. After she texted me that, “it’s over and she doesn’t want to play with it” she goes out and gets drunk and messages me talking about “come to this party, I want to see you” and I feel so weak because even in the midst of a panic attack and break down, I would have went and been elated that she “wanted” me there.

My friend comes to get me because at this point, I don’t need to be alone and when she drops me back off she messages me again saying “call her”... so what do I do? Call her. She’s drunk and she’s telling me how “I’m leaving this party and imma come over and lay with you” again my DUMB ass is all like okay and is hopeful that she will come over and I prepare my room for her arrival...... she messages me again saying “I can’t come over because my friend doesn’t want to sleep in the dorm”....

Yesterday morning was radio silent from her, so the afternoon comes around and I text her, “you leave yet?” and she replies “yeah I did”... I proceed to tell her how she’s a piece of shit and how she finds new ways to hurt me and she’s like “I don’t remember last night and I’m sorry but I still don’t want to play with it...” so again. My heart you know I don’t even know if it was in my chest, I think it was already stomped into the mud so she literally stumped on that shit some more. The end of it, I block her number and Instagram just fucking HURT bro, like fuck. I’d rather be sexually assaulted/raped by the nigga I lost my virginity to them deal with this level of hurt and mistreatment.

& the worse part is that I hate myself for continuing to be STUPID AS FUCK. But that happens and then as I calm down from that & im watching game of thrones.... I get an email from one of my masters programs that I applied for and realllly wanted to get into since I didn’t get and PhD programs and they tell me... I didn’t get in....

I lose my shit and now I really don’t want to be here fr. I don’t know what to do with anything. I don’t know shit and I really don’t care about school, or graduation, or anything really. What did I do to deserve all of this?

#rant

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da1udr3amof-blog · 5 years

Quote

BlvntQueen & LadyTonii LadyTonii Hey wassup? a month ago LadyTonii https://prnt.sc/lcyehe me and him yes while you was send the first invite — a month ago LadyTonii number and picture don’t lie ppl do a month ago BlvntQueen well i know tht because yall have alot of pictures together but like i said it was him lien saying yall wasnt together and tht yur unborn babys was nott his and i have proof if you would like to see a month ago LadyTonii yes please send it because a month ago BlvntQueen Okay give me one sec hun cause it’s a lot a month ago LadyTonii tyt a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/4K8QFTuiU7f8LkVu7 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/MyM7Z4oahJXaf8RW9 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/WzXiAuegZzaJpfVV6 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/J3CPFenKoa4KwNLT8 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/LGHi7y8MoGvyQ3B99 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/8VfXEuhGUPYsNKxXA a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/SJWStrcTcDVoWFgu8 a month ago BlvntQueen Even back when you guys started talking he kept denying that you weren’t together which I knew was a lie a month ago BlvntQueen While you guys where together he was still trying to get with buying whole bunch of gifts saying he wanted to be my husband and wanted a Familia a month ago BlvntQueen Every time I basically shut him down cause I could see y’all had something going down even when he kept denying it a month ago BlvntQueen I contacted on no drama stuff I just wanted to see if I was or was he lien a month ago BlvntQueen Wrong * a month ago BlvntQueen Nd sorri for some of the stuff said in the inbox I was tryna get him to say the truth a month ago BlvntQueen Even tht whole knew look to his face I helped him pick it out while we we’re shopping together a month ago BlvntQueen He even has another look I helped him pick out just doesn’t wear it often a month ago BlvntQueen He was hanging with me in my family one day got mad cause I asked to meet you plus when I asked kept calling you his wifey he kept getting up set saying you wasn’t in wifey a month ago BlvntQueen Got booted out the room cause he was losing his temper a month ago LadyTonii Its okay thank you for contacting me and letting me know because this says a lot about his intention with all women on the game. And for him to try n start a relationship with you while still me tell me just hm he care for me. a month ago BlvntQueen I’m really sorry ma I been friends with him for bout 6-7 months Already knew his games Nd how he treated women Thts why things would never work between us cause I don’t like being played a month ago BlvntQueen Also the same reason I contacted yu just let yu Know plus to get the truth a month ago BlvntQueen But I am truly sorry 💯 a month ago LadyTonii This hurt so bad especially when u genuine love someone. So why know why tell me this now. Why have not warn me in the beginning? Why wait? @ 6-7 months ago. Why allow him to keep you quiet this long a month ago LadyTonii No worries, God bring the truth to the light for a reason a month ago LadyTonii I just wish it come sooner. a month ago BlvntQueen Well me in Darius was really friends cause I used to be married when I got divorced he had been tryna to get with me I met his family in everything we where public for a while but he flirted with to many women so I ended things and just stayed friends with him He’s was always around he just turned his location off or waited for ppl to get online while we hung out he thought I didn’t notice💯 Nd the reason I’m telling you now cause I didn’t know for sure if y’all were together cause it seemed like y’all was off and on in a relationship a month ago BlvntQueen Plus he asked to go public a lot of times I just said no cause I knew he was a player and didn’t want him to make me look like I was getting played a month ago LadyTonii You speak a familiar story…i can most certain relate to the same things you exactly. a month ago LadyTonii Saying* a month ago BlvntQueen Soo yeah… but I am sorry for bothering you with this bs a month ago LadyTonii Its okay at lease now ik his truth and yes i was pregnant with his twins boys. It like a emotions roaster. We talk via phone. Almost all day until out the blue so now ik what was the blue he started changing on me a month ago BlvntQueen Oh wow its sad 💯 I’m sorry fr💯 he needs to grow up and act like a man a month ago LadyTonii So true👍 a month ago LadyTonii Oh Qu33n I forgot to tell you love😏 I neverrr….leave Darius alone….But thank for the ☕ anyway (you tired it). They always want to start telling when they get upset. But when they happy….They are so call "Riders"….✌ next time tell me something I dont already know about 💋Darius💋 a month ago LadyTonii Follow me on tumblr da1udream0f a month ago LadyTonii http://da1udream0f.tumblr.com/ a month ago LadyTonii https://prnt.sc/lodeqo 44 minutes ago BlvntQueen Good for you Psycho 40 minutes ago BlvntQueen Sad thing is you texting me all these things when he still not claiming the baby’s your pregnant with 37 minutes ago BlvntQueen And unlike you I’m pregnant in real life and don’t have time to be dealing with your dumb drama 37 minutes ago LadyTonii https://prnt.sc/lodn9k —-> Yes daddy like to deny a lot things but we already been down this road before haven’t we. You have time for it “stop it” :) Congratulations on the new baby in rl however “you tell me this because”? #we a team sis except it :) 13 minutes ago BlvntQueen He’s right we aren’t together but he wants to get back together 😘 yeah we have been down this road before and me and him has a unbreakable bond 😉😬 I’m here to stay and I don’t have time for it so please stop harassing me cause this is sad you have been stalking my page steady 😂😂😂😂 I don’t have to fake a reality pregnancy I have a real life one and is enjoying it to the fullest 😘 and I would like to keep my stress level down as much as possible so Please let go cause of now your dismissed with all this petty drama especially when your a wanna be and had to copy my style before just to try to keep a man that doesn’t want you😂😘😬☺️ 8 minutes ago LadyTonii yeah right, and santa clause is real ==> sound like a strong bond to me lol —https://prnt.sc/lodrj3> https://prnt.sc/lodrzf https://prnt.sc/lodsrq https://prnt.sc/lodt7j https://prnt.sc/lodup5 https://prnt.sc/lodvf3 It wasnt petty when “yo ass” was in my inbox and liking all my picture (now was it?) sending me friend request like you was crazy Worrying about my conception date. hmmmm Now you telling me you’ve grown up over the few weeks… I have not ill-wells towards you and never will 💋 a few seconds ago BlvntQueen https://prnt.sc/loe7o3 https://prnt.sc/loe7yk https://prnt.sc/loe89x Back Than Honey I was just trying to find the truth to see was he messing around with because he said he wasn’t and that you weren’t shit to him when I came to You adding you trying to find the truth which nothing is wrong with that if a women is trying to see if Her “MAN” is cheating on her with a wannabe chick who keeps stalking my page😂💯 me and you aren’t even friends and I’m not even on you stream so i know you have issues and that you are pressed about me cause you had to text him about a picture we took last night a few seconds ago BlvntQueen How pathetic of you to keep stalking my page bbg💯😂 a few seconds ago BlvntQueen You Should really Get a life and stop following mine cause once again you messaged me tonight and messaged him last night about me showing that you have no life what’s so ever 😂💯😘💋 a few seconds ago LadyTonii You always been a talker…i love that about you…💋 fail for the bait score!!!!that all but we still going to fuck around regardless. Damn see your bond is so deep he just know you were pregnant😊 shame on it all. a few seconds ago LadyTonii Girl wake up he don’t give af about none of this imvu lol a few seconds ago BlvntQueen Mhmm Sure Bbg Well You Have Fun Stalking My Stream And Page 😂💯❤️ While I Continue Not Worrying About You Like I Been Doing😂😌 😘 Fuck Around All You Want Cause Unlike You I Never Had To Give My Pussy Up To Him For Me And Him To Keep Talking💋😉 Says A lot About You Does it hunni😂😘😬 Your right it is imvu and you stalking me like you got some real issues😂💯 sad asf 😉😌😆 27 minutes ago BlvntQueen And he didn’t know I was pregnant in real life one cause it wasn’t his business two cause I don’t mix a game with my real life😂💯😘 but trust and believe I can post evidence cause I don’t have to lie💯❤️ 25 minutes ago LadyTonii Im grown lol i can dirty talk to who i may. The lord aint tell you to keep track of hm pussy toni give to Darius...just like you wanted to know what was going on before, same here. I dont have do anything I choice too. Its my choice. Thats good for you at lease ik he not fucking you.😂 Your shade doesnt fade me. Once again I dont stalk your page. Girl, you care just like I do because if you didnt you wouldve blocked the first message in. I dont front or act like it dont bother me. I just came to accepting him for who he was nothing more. 5 minutes ago LadyTonii Now let that man sleep he has to work in the morning..you have a bless night love💋 3 minutes ago BlvntQueen No You We’re Very Bothered just Of The Fact That in screen shot you told him to leave you alone cause of a picture😂💯👌🏽😬 And I chose not to fuck him cause I ain’t no hoe and I don’t got to give up pussy just to be with a guy😂💯 Niggas chase me bbg cause I’m the real deal and don’t have to try to be some one else😂👌🏽 and you do stalk my page for you to even see the picture that was posted 😂💯 how do yu sound bbg and I don’t care what he do with you cause once again me and him not together 👌🏽 and I shouldn’t have to block you 👌🏽a hoe should know when to leave a queen alone😘👌🏽😬 and you so grown bbg that you steady inboxing me just like you had to inbox me a picture of y’all 😂💯😬 Damn you really are a pressed bitch😌 you even messed me on nov 1 at 6am just to show a page of y’all cause You So Pressed About Me That You Want Me To be jealous 😬😆 but it’s hard to be jealous of a psycho. Person who stalks my page and what I posted and try’s to look like just like me😂 Now You Have ABlessDay a few seconds ago BlvntQueen And I Will pray to god that you get your self together and get the help you need😂🙏🏽😘 a few seconds ago LadyTonii Right you know me personally a few seconds ago LadyTonii Why you keep on saying fuck him like theres really penetrating flesh. Im start to think something is serious wrong with the both of yall. And for you to act this way ik you lying about pc'ing with him. imma let you jack that one there. You don't have to pray for me. I'm blessed. I'm the one in denial. I know he fucking with the both of us. a few seconds ago

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