#in the bigger picture. sometimes it is worth it to try to build relationships. otherwise u will hurt others and keep hurting.
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thinking about ghost quartet
#'i don't believe any of this'#'don't you remember'#the accusation in her voice...#i'm rewatching just now i am crying a little bit#they really do the multiple lives/timelines so good. they do it so good. thinking a little about eeaao but they Are different#eeaaoo obv is more about generational trauma and the immigrant experience. what could have been.#i feel like. gq feels more focused on toxicity in a family? that more acute feeling trauma#dave malloy & the rest as far as i know are white. which doesn't make it bad just part of why it's different.#but it's also about trauma and forgiving and loving your family anyway and recognizing why they do things and realizing like#in the bigger picture. sometimes it is worth it to try to build relationships. otherwise u will hurt others and keep hurting.#pearl is kind to rose in the first song but hurt rose doesn't seem to remember the story at all.#the family...the kidnapping...the self immolation...#the murder and attempted murder. and in the end what?#music on the last piano in the world although it hurts. realization. forgiveness#sort of#release and relief with the wind and the rain#leo. if you read this. this is your fault for qt'ing the gq quote bot on twitter. mwah.
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BASIC QUESTIONS
First name? “Vitani.”
Surname? “Leu.”
Middle names? “Alala.”
Nicknames? “V.”
Date of birth? “August 20th, 1998.”
Age? “Twenty two.”
PHYSICAL / APPEARANCE
Height? “5′4.”
Weight? “121 pounds.”
Build? “Athletic.”
Hair color? “Pink right now.”
Hair style? “Buzzcut.”
Eye color? “Brown.”
Eye shape? “Shit, I don’t know. Deep set?”
Glasses or contact lenses? “I wasn’t born with no weak ass eyes.”
Distinguishing facial features? “Freckles.”
Which facial feature is most prominent? “My jawline.”
Which bodily feature is most prominent? “While I’d love to say my ass, I think it would be my arms.”
Other distinguishing features? “A shit ton of little scars.”
Skin? “Light.”
Hands? “Strong.”
Make up? “I do eyes and lips, that’s all. Eyeliner, lipstick. Eyeshadow and mascara if I’m feeling frisky.”
Scars? “Trust me, honey, someone like me has a lot of those.”
Birthmarks? “Wouldn’t you like to see?”
Tattoos? “None. Yet.”
Physical handicaps? “Non-existent.”
Type of clothes? “Depends on what kind of mood I’m in.”
How do you wear your clothes? “I’m guilty of a little tailoring if needed.”
What are your feet like? “What the fuck? Weirdo. Good enough, why? You want pictures?”
Race / Ethnicity? “Half black, half white.”
Mannerisms? “I’m a shifter. Always moving my weight from one leg to the other.”
Are you in good health? “Better be. I ain’t worked my ass off for nothing.”
Do you have any disabilities? “No.”
PERSONALITY
What words or phrases do you overuse? “Fuck, shit, Hell, ass, damn. Bitch too, if you catch me in a bad mood.”
Do you have a catchphrase? “What kind of cheesy ass bullshit would that be?”
Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? “Pessimistic.”
Are you introverted or extroverted? “Introverted.”
Do you ever put on airs? “Sometimes it’s necessary.”
What bad habits do you have? “Saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times. Wanting to punch something when I get pissed.”
What makes you laugh out loud? “People falling. Gets me every time.”
How do you display affection? “I don’t.”
Mental handicaps? “Listen, if I didn’t have any of those after my childhood, I’d be fucking unstoppable, huh?”
How do you want to be seen by others? “Important.”
How do you see yourself? “Lost.”
How are you seen by others? “Intimidating.”
Strongest character trait? “My independence.”
Weakest character trait? “My stubbornness.”
How competitive are you? “Hella.”
Do you make snap judgements or take time to consider? “I make snap judgements. I’m working on it, alright?”
How do you react to praise? “If I ever get any, I’ll let you know.”
How do you react to criticism? “I either get pissed or I try to do better. Or both. Usually both.”
What is your greatest fear? “That I can’t stop myself from turning into my mom.”
What are your biggest secrets? “I’ve done a lot of shit I’ll never repeat. I can’t.”
What is your philosophy of life? “I don’t know anymore. I’m just trying to go day by day.”
When was the last time you cried? “When I ended up at Kiara’s after beating the shit out of some poor girl in a club. First and last time I ever remember crying.”
What haunts you? “My past. A lot of it.”
What are your political views? “Anyone but Scar.”
What will you stand up for? “My beliefs, no matter how twisted or wrong or confused they may be. I think I’ve proved that point.”
Who do you quote? “No one.”
Are you indoorsy or outdoorsy? “Outdoorsy. I hate being inside too long. It feels like being a wild animal trapped in some tiny enclosure. I can’t stand it.”
What is your sinful little habit? “Oh, baby, I’ve got plenty of those.”
What sense do you most rely on? “You have to rely on all of them to get by. You can’t pick and choose. You have to keep them all sharp.”
How do you treat people better than them? “Excuse me? Who are you saying is better than me? At what?”
How do you treat people worse than them? “Depends what they’re worse at.”
What quality do you most value in a friend? “If I had friends, I assume it would be loyalty.”
What do you consider an overrated virtue? “Kindness.”
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I’d like to be content in my skin, not have to strive for approval anymore. It’s a hard habit o shake.”
What is your obsession? “Knives. God, I love knives.”
What are your pet peeves? “Hypocrites. Cutting in line. Loud ringers. Pop music. Too much traffic. Goody two shoes.”
What are your idiosyncrasies? “I lick my lips too damn much.”
FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Is your family big or small? Who does it consist of? “As far as I’m concerned, there’s Nuka. That’s it.”
What is your perception of family? “It’s fucked up, it’s a trap, and you’re better off if you never have any.”
Do you have siblings? Older or younger? “Two brothers. I’m the middle child.”
Describe your best friend. “I don’t have one.”
Ideal best friend? “Someone that wouldn’t annoy the Hell out of me.”
Describe your other friends. “I don’t have friends.”
Describe your acquaintances. “Okay, those. They’re cool. I’d put Penelope, Sadie and my boss on that list.”
Do you have any pets? “No.”
Who are your natural allies? “My brother.”
Who are your surprising allies? “I guess you could say Kiara.”
PAST AND FUTURE
What were you like as a baby? As a child? “Fucked up. I didn’t play with other kids. I wasn’t allowed to have friends. I went to school, I trained, I went to bed. A lot of times without dinner. I spent I don’t know how many nights listening to gunshots hoping we weren’t next. So, yeah. Fucked up.”
Did you grow up rich or poor? “Poor.”
Did you grow up nurtured or neglected? “What do you think?”
What is the most offensive thing you ever said? “How long do you got?”
What is your greatest achievement? “Making it out of that shithole alive.”
What was your first kiss like? “It wasn’t even a first kiss, it was a make out session during sex. I’ve never been kissed just to be kissed.”
What is the worst thing you did to someone you loved? “I let my family treat Nuka like shit, then I let him leave and I didn’t follow. I didn’t check up on him. I guess I thought… I guess I didn’t realize I had a choice, or how clear the right one was. There’s no excuse. I should’ve stood up for him.”
What are your ambitions? “I just want to do better.”
What advice would you give your younger self? “Run. As soon as you can, run as far as you can get. It has to be better than this.”
What smells remind you of your childhood? “Copper, mildew, sulfur and smoke.”
What was your childhood ambition? “To make mama and Scar proud.”
What is your best childhood memory? “You’re going to think I’m shitting you if I say I don’t have one, but I don’t have one.”
What is your worst childhood memory? “Oh, those, I’ve got a whole notebook of those.”
Did you have an imaginary childhood friend? “No.”
When was the last time you were crushed with disappointment? “When I was told to leave. Do you know what it feels like realizing your entire life was a goddamn lie? It’s maddening.”
What past act are you most ashamed of? “Thinking it was okay to live the way I was living.”
What past act are you most proud of? “Deciding I was going to move and move on. It took a push, but I decided to be a bigger person. I did that.”
Has anyone ever saved your life? “More than a few times. Where I grew up, if you’re not saving one another, you’re all fucked.”
Strongest childhood memory? “It was storming. We didn’t have any candles or lamps or nightlights. I remember wanting to run to Kovu’s room. I was so scared I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was just a kid… but I wasn’t allowed to be scared. So I laid there watching the lightning until I fell asleep.”
LOVE
Do you believe in love at first sight? “No.”
Are you in a relationship? “No.”
How do you behave in a relationship? “I wouldn’t know.”
When did you last have sex? “It’s been… what, a week?”
What sort of sex do you have? “I’m a little kinky. I’ll leave it at that.”
Have you ever been in love? “Hell no.”
Have you ever had your heart broken? “If you want to call it that.”
CONFLICT
How do you respond to a threat? “Threaten back.”
Are you most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? “Fists, but I can multitask if you want to keep it interesting.”
What is your kryptonite? “A hot girl. I’m putty in her hands.”
If you could only save one thing from your burning house, what would it be? “I don’t have anything worth saving.”
How do you perceive strangers? “Threats until proven otherwise.”
What do you love to hate? “Cockiness. It can be pretty damn sexy.”
What are your phobias? “I don’t have any.”
What is your choice of weapon? “Guns are more effective, but I’m a knife kid through and through.”
What living person do you most despise? “Zira.”
Have you ever been bullied or teased? “Kids were too afraid of me to tease me.”
Where do you go when you’re angry? “I’m trying to remember to just go away. Take a deep breath, count to ten, chill the fuck out. It’s really fucking hard.”
Who are your enemies and why? “The outsiders. I wasted two decades fighting tooth and nail for them. I put my life on the line. I gave them everything I had and more, and they turned their back on me. They can all rot in Hell.”
WORK, EDUCATION AND HOBBIES
What is your current job? “I’m a bartender at the Pit Stop.”
What do you think about their current job? “It’s not a bad job. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not glamorous, but it pays the bills. The guy hired me on the spot. No experience. No nothing. I’ve got a lot of respect for Mr. McQueen.”
What are some of your past jobs? “You don’t wanna know.”
What are your hobbies? “It all revolves around combat training.”
Educational background? “High school GED.”
Intelligence level? “Higher than yours.”
Do you have any specialist training? “Twenty fucking years of it.”
Do you have a natural talent for something? “Yeah, martial arts and spear throwing.”
Do you play a sport? Are you any good? “I don’t play any sports, but trust me, I’d be good.”
What is your socioeconomic status? “I got too much other shit to worry about. Check back in a year or two.”
FAVORITES
What is your favorite animal? “Lions.”
Which animal do you dislike the most? “Giraffes. What do they even do with those long ass necks? Eat leaves? What a waste.”
What place would you most like to visit? “Africa.”
What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? “Don’t you dare laugh at me. I’ll fuck you up. There’s something about sunsets that always stops me in my tracks. I’m serious, not a giggle.”
What is your favorite song? “I don’t listen to music.”
Music, art, reading preferred? “Art.”
What is your favorite color? “Red.”
What is your password? “And why would I tell you that?” (576342rtsyssy572xlc2l)
Favorite food: “I’m partial to steak.”
What is your favorite work of art? “Dunno.”
Who is your favorite artist? “Dunno times two.”
What is your favorite day of the week? “There’s something about Thursdays that just feel right.”
POSSESSIONS
What is in your fridge? “I’m not gonna lie, it’s running low right now. I know there’s some strawberries and half a carton of milk left, probably not much else of mine.”
What is on your bedside table? “Glass of water, earbuds, phone charger, pocket knife, wallet. There’s a pistol in the drawer, but you didn’t hear that from me.”
What is in your car? “Don’t have one, but I left a spare charger in Nuka’s.”
What is in your bin? “It’s empty.”
What is in your purse or wallet? “ID. Fake ID, just in case. Cash. Debit card, credit card. Some grocery rewards card I got talked into signing up for. Oh, and a coupon for Fudge Stripes, I need to remember to get those before it expires.”
What is in your pockets? “A knife.”
What is your most treasured possession? “My most expensive sword. It’s not that expensive, I found it at a thrift store, but I fixed that baby up.”
SPIRITUALITY
Who or what is your guardian angel? “I’m not buying that I have one.”
Do you believe in the afterlife? “There’s gotta be something. There’s too many people I know that deserve to burn in Hell.”
What are your religious views? “Don’t really have any.”
What do you think heaven is? “Dunno.”
What do you think hell is? “A well deserved torture chamber.”
Are you superstitious? “Eh.”
What would you like to be reincarnated as? “Some big cat. That’d be really fucking cool. If not a lion, a tiger or a cougar or something. But not in a zoo. Hell no.”
How would you like to die? “I hope I go out in a blaze of glory.”
What is your spirit animal? “Lioness.”
What is your zodiac sign? “Leo.”
VALUES
What do you think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? “Taking everything from them.”
What is your view of ‘freedom’? “Not being forced to do anyone’s biding.”
When did you last lie? “It’s been awhile now.”
What’s your view of lying? “Don’t lie to me. Sometimes it’s gotta be done. But don’t you dare lie to me.”
When did you last make a promise? “I don’t make promises.”
Did you keep or break their last promise? “I’d probably break them. That’s why I don’t make promises.”
DAILY LIFE
What are your eating habits? “I have trouble remembering to eat, so sit’s a little sketchy, I’m working on it.”
Do you have any allergies? “Nope.”
Describe your home. “It’s not much, but it’s more than I’ve ever had.”
Are you a minimalist or a clutter hoarder? “I’m a minimalist.”
What do you do first thing on a weekday morning? “Look outside.”
What do you do on a Sunday afternoon? “Work, usually.”
What do you do on a Friday night? “Stay up too late.”
What is your soft drink of choice? “I don’t like soda.”
What is your alcoholic drink of choice? “I lack too much experience to choose.”
MISCELLANEOUS
What or who would you dress up as for Halloween? “Dressed up as a kickboxer once, I think that’s it.”
Are you comfortable with technology? “Yeah. I guess. What does that mean?”
If you could save one person, who would it be? “Nuka.”
If you could call one person for help, who would it be? “Nuka.”
What is your greatest extravagance? “Don’t have much of one.”
What is your greatest regret? “Wasting so much of my life to come out empty handed.”
What is your perception of redemption? “All I know is I’m trying.”
What would you do if you won the lottery? “Buy Nuka and I a real place instead of an apartment.”
What is your favorite fairytale? “Hansel and Gretel.”
What fairytale do you hate? “Jack and the Beanstalk. It’s fucking stupid.”
Do you believe in happy endings? “No.”
What is your idea of perfect happiness? “I don’t know if it exists.”
What would you ask a fortune teller? “Where do I end up?”
If you could travel through time, where would you go? “Back to the start. Redo it all. Right this time.”
What sport do you excel at? “Never played much sports.”
What sport do you suck at? “I don’t.”
If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? “Shapeshifting. That’d be fucking cool. Turn into a mouse, squeeze in a crack, turn into a bear and rip someone’s fucking face off if you need to.”
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I am not looking forward to these flashbacks.
To date, we’ve had four onscreen kisses shared between Bellamy and Echo with additional, smaller moments of other forms of intimacy. I’d rather the show refrain from adding more tally marks to the count.
If humans were gifted with the capacity for purging unwanted memories, then all this discomfort would be a moot point. I suppose there’s always alcohol as a fallback option, but not even the prospect of temporary amnesia is worth destroying my liver. Turning to alcohol to drown my B/E-related sorrows would probably qualify more as self-harm than self-help.
I’d much prefer to cut directly to an imminent breakup scene without the pomp and circumstance of an agonized Echo’s trip down memory lane.
If anything, supplying us with visual evidence on how happy they were together is an even sadder remark on the state of B/E’s fragility, knowing it took 0.001 seconds for the mere mention of Clarke’s name to bring it all to ruin. No collection of past happy moments shared on the Ring erases the fractures in their relationship that occur between them afterward, originating with the revelation of a still-living Clarke. I'd be an absolute fool to believe otherwise.
But if Jason deems a tour of their greatest hits as necessary to the story, I trust his judgment. Showing us B/E's origins as their romantic relationship begins to fall apart in real-time brings it full circle, and it lends gravitas to the story he's telling with Echo. With this particular arc, the bigger picture is still Echo's evolution. It's not about B/E.
Once season 7 started, there was a visible shift in how Jason utilized B/E. Whereas seasons 5 and 6 primarily used B/E as the third leg in a love triangle designed to keep a pining Bellarke apart, season 7 uses their master-spy dynamic to bolster Echo's development almost exclusively. Post-season 6, Bellarke is so primed to get together, one honest admission of mutual feelings without Echo as an obstacle and BOOM. Canon couple.
Echo has a more extensive role than girl-to-be-dumped, and I'm not upset over it. She gets to stand up as a character after the majority of her life has been marked by slavery for her crown, and I'm not upset over it. As indemnification for the loss of her relationship, this orphan-turned-soldier is finding her place in a supportive, loving family while developing a sense of identity and independence, and I'm not upset over it.
I would’ve preferred Jason found a way to take her on this path without B/E remaining intact this far into the final season and theoretically for the foreseeable episodes. I would always choose to end them sooner rather than later, given a choice. But I understand why Jason didn't.
Echo can’t very well outgrow a master-spy complex if there is no master to her spy. And as much as I hate it, the romantic aspect of B/E is a believable, convenient tool to keep this complex in place until her story comes to fruition. Would Echo act so extremely in service to a recent ex-boyfriend who left her for another woman? Probably not. As far as I can tell, the pinnacle of her arc is the moment she realizes she has to break free from Bellamy. So narrative structure demands B/E stay together, however technically, long enough for her to break those chains.
I was initially excited about the flashbacks, if only because I took them as a sign of an impending breakup. But the timing doesn't pan out. Aside from the logistics of Echo and Bellamy presumably on separate worlds, and with her thinking him dead, we've only just reached the point where Echo might start to ask herself those hard questions she's been avoiding. She must have noticed a change in her relationship. Between Psychosis!Emori, B/E's 6x04 fight, and Anomaly!Roan, she's had enough cause for doubt. But I think she's suppressed any urge to reflect upon it for a number of reasons. Love. Continued hope they'll last. War. A mission to save him. It took a lot of meticulous maneuvering to corner Echo to this point. Now that we're here, I don't think Jason would pull a reverse Uno card in a 40-minute episode. It seems more likely that he will let her continue to stew in her emotions. Either she'll keep sinking until she hits rock bottom, or she'll start learning how to swim.
Jason could always prove me wrong. And if I am, I'd never be happier for him to do so. If I'm not? It's at times like this when I am reminded of the resolution I made at the end of season 6- rest easy in the comfort of knowing B/E will meet its inevitable end but do not try to speculate when that might be. Attempting to discern the specifics of "when" brings one only misery.
Jason’s signature sometimes-too-fast, other-times-too-slow pacing, is often liable to tempt one into ripping their own hair out. That being said, I’ve seen enough of this show to trust in his ability to tell a damn good story. Faith in his competency for the craft just requires on our part, the patience of a saint.
If nothing else, it isn’t my story to tell, so I’ll just have to suck it up and find a way to deal with any disappointments I may feel. Or I can try to find the value within the story told. It's a better alternative than to be left bitter. No promises, though.
Maybe Echo’s actions against the Disciples aren’t reprehensible, considering the people she’s killing are those complicit in kidnapping and torturing her people. But Orlando was a good, honorable man whose naïveté convinced him to play for the wrong team, yet helped our heroes when he didn’t have to. Not unlike Shaw, whom Echo sold to Diyoza to fulfill her mission. But I assume “We are not his people” is residual mistrust leftover from Ryker’s betrayal of her. She miscalculated the feelings of one possible defector before, she won’t make the same mistake twice.
If she was able to save Bellamy in the end, I’m sure she’d be able to justify the spilled blood it took to get there. But Orlando suffered at her hands for nothing, and she may not be overly concerned with morality, but she cares for the people she grows close to. Unless the episode proves otherwise, I’d like to think Orlando’s fate will weigh heavily on her.
They may not have been close. But five years in close quarters with only a few people akin to friends for comfort, it'd be hard not to feel the slightest bit attached.
Those of us who believe in Bellarke know Echo is the third-party obstacle in a love triangle. But what is far more interesting is the role she played in the seasons-long Blake siblings struggle.
Echo was persona non grata to both siblings following her and Octavia's mountaintop fight. Six years later, she highlights the difference in the siblings' maturities. Whereas Bellamy has learned to embrace empathy and forgiveness with open arms, Octavia is cold and unyielding. On a more personal note, B/E represents Octavia's persistent unwillingness to respect Bellamy as his own person, with needs and wants independent of her.
After her soul searching on Skyring, I thought she had buried the hatchet, as per her lack of vitriol in her 6x12 conversation with Bellamy, and enthusiastically joining forces with Echo in 6x13. Maybe she did. But Octavia has also proven herself an unreliable narrator, and Hope feels indignation on her aunt's behalf. Whatever the case, there's a reason why the dialogue keeps referencing Echo and Octavia's hostile history. And I think it's building to a head in 7x07.
I think mutual love for Bellamy is healing the divide between them when Echo is at her most fractured. She's isolated from Bellamy and the rest of Spacekru. Left in pain and seeking retribution as Octavia did, which, as we know, is where it all went wrong for the latter. Octavia, more than most, is in the best position to empathize with what Echo is currently feeling and how pain can destroy her if she lets it consume her.
If Octavia can remind Echo she's not alone, if a former enemy can convince her she belongs and welcome her with open arms- as her brother did before her- it might do well in healing some broken piece inside of her. And it would be a roundabout display of Octavia's newfound maturity. This is good for both of them. This spiral she is in will require her to look inward. Since her fixation with Bellamy is partly what landed her in this mess, absolution cannot come from him. She can only find it in herself if she wants it. But I'd be glad if Octavia can help see her through it. This is what I mean about seeking value in the story told. We're so concerned about Octavia calling Echo family, about the possibility of it legitimizing B/E, it doesn't occur to us that it's about the characters themselves. And B/E is only a vehicle used to bring us there. It's easier to see when not consumed by automatic seething rage, as typical of our fellow Bellarke compatriots, for anything remotely associated with Echo.
If my heart and mind weren’t chanting “BELLARKEBELLARKEBELLARKE,” there’s a good chance I’d be able to better appreciate the complexities B/E gives to the development of the four characters it directly impacts.
Our side of fandom has made lots of accusations about B/E since 5x01. It’s a forgettable, physical relationship worth little to Bellamy. B/E is unhealthy for reasons x, y, and z. We generate a different example in every episode. Click slideshow for more details. But the fact of the matter is, much of this isn't true. Until Echo went postal, B/E wasn’t unhealthy. Bellamy just had a greater love for Clarke. Up until their ending scene in 6x04, there was nothing they couldn’t come back from together, if both committed themselves fully, no more walls. It's not a particularly popular train of thought among us, but Jason absolutely could've written B/E as an endgame pairing. And all it would take to deliver a final killing blow is the inclusion of a single damning scene.
We can gripe over the length of time they've stayed together. But, in spite of what most people think about every new B/E development and Bellarke separation, Jason has never actually dropped an ax on Bellarke. Hope persists.
Jason is responsible for the development of dozens of characters, major plots, and dozens of smaller subplots. But our fandom reduced the story chiefly to Bellarke's romance. Our villains are those who stand in their way. Namely Echo, the only outside love interest to be an official obstacle. We fashioned Echo as our enemy. In lieu of removing her from the narrative (which is not in our power to do), we've done everything within our purview to diminish her. If Jason won't treat B/E and Echo as the jokes we know they are, we'll do it ourselves. Minimizing her role in the story makes it a hell of a lot easier to erase a character we'd rather didn't exist for our preferred ship to advance.
Lord knows how many times we've claimed she has no story. That absent relevance or substantial bearing, she's there simply because Jason is partial to her for some elusive reason. But the reality is, we never looked for her story because we wanted to be able to claim its inexistence. We wanted to be able to say she's frivolous to the story, and by extension, to Bellamy. We want to be able to dismantle B/E when it appears Jason doesn't. Except he is and has been doing so since day one.
Months ago, on a whim, when I was feeling benevolent towards Echo, I wrote a long post HERE giving her the benefit of the doubt, and I said:
In the grand scheme of the story, I think this is the purpose Echo serves, to represent the part that says, “We’re all human. No matter what tribe we belong to, we fight for the same reasons. We love the same way. When you leave allegiances aside, when you see someone for who they are at their core, an enemy today can become a friend tomorrow.”
True peace, a series-long running theme for our heroes, begins with embracing former outsiders like Echo and Emori. Easy to lose sight of this when focused on ship wars.
It is perfectly acceptable not to love all the components of a story. It is understandable to focus your attention on those select segments you find appealing. But a tunnel-visioned mindset lands you in trouble when you become resentful at the reminders that a story is a composite of more moving pieces than just the parts you like. And when you forget that screentime allotted to developing those pieces ahead of what you favor is permissible. Everything on a show has its time, all in due course.
On the other hand, B/E shippers overinflate their ship's significance. They take canon and twist it to say, "Look at how strong B/E is, Bellarke could never. B/E is endgame, and Blorkes are delusional." Their conclusion of an epic love is another bias-based fandom interpretation that doesn’t hold water, either.
I think the reality of B/E lies somewhere in a muddled middle of these two extremes.
One last point, and I'll get off my soapbox. Despite what the melodramatic diatribe in my opening paragraph suggests, B/E is never as atrocious as fandom makes them out to be. Greater fandom treats anything remotely associated with B/E as the next great catastrophe. And as it turns out, it never really is.
Tagging @sometimesrosy, because I think, after years of combating opinions you don’t agree with, it might be a refreshing change of pace to know some of us do have more balanced views regarding B/E. If I do say so myself.
#hmmm how i tag this in a way that will land me in the least amount of hot water?#the 100 meta#with a side order of#fandom wank#long post#the 100#bellarke#b/e#c/b/e#the 100 season 7#my post
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⇢ real name: alden isaac mendler.
⇢ single or taken: single in most of his main verses. he was briefly with enid, though their relationship barely had the chance to get off the ground before he lost her.
⇢ abilities or powers: can throw a spear with perfect accuracy.
⇢ eye color: brown.
⇢ hair color: light brown / blondish.
⇢ family members: parents, abigail & warren mendler ( both deceased. ) older brother, benjamin mendler ( deceased. ) ed sutton has been a father figure to him for years once he started training to be a blacksmith under him, along with his wife tammy rose ( deceased ) who was like a mother figure to him. + adam sutton, who feels like a brother to him, who he helps ed take care of ( & feels responsible for, ever since the whisperers left him. )
⇢ pets: he never had a pet growing up, but now he has his trusty horse that he doesn’t like to part with. he doesn’t really think of her as a pet though, rather a companion.
⇢ something they don’t like: violence. he’s been a pacifist since losing his brother, though that wasn’t always something he could follow being a savior. he preferred to do everything he could without violence ( not counting the dead, of course. ) he especially doesn’t like guns and always chooses weapons like spears, knives, anything else before guns.
⇢ hobbies/activities: creates art out of scraps of metal, wood, tools, etc. sings for funerals, weddings, parties, in bars, etc. but never for money ( and doesn’t think too highly of his singing voice, despite the fact that he is actually good. ) takes things apart and puts them back together. designs buildings, constructs them. loves to read & learn about history. likes designing and creating weapons.
⇢ ever hurt anyone before: yes.
⇢ ever killed anyone before: yes, after his brother’s death when he let his anger get the better of him. he was never in the position where he had to kill as a savior, given that he wasn’t often a part of the more aggressive missions & mostly stayed behind to expand the outposts. it was always something he feared though, which is why he always tried to make himself useful in other places.
⇢ worst habits: when he feels like he’s been wronged in some way, he can let his anger get the better of him. while he normally focuses on what’s logically right + the grand scheme of things, whenever he’s angry, he sometimes forgets to look at the bigger picture. this is mostly seen with his petty comments towards lydia ------ he was just like her when he came to hilltop, known as the enemy but desperately trying to prove himself to be better than that, despite knowing he didn’t deserve a chance given where he came from. it wasn’t fair for him to judge her, but he was angry, and when he’s angry / when he’s lost something important to him, his judgement is clouded.
⇢ role models: ed sutton. he hasn’t always been the best role model for him, and he certainly hasn’t always agreed with his every decision ( particularly when he attacked maggie, but through helping him grow from that, that’s when they got closer. ) he admires him for how he’s grown since he met him and from the life he’s lived. he also really admires jesus. he respected maggie so much but he didn’t always agree with her decisions or the way she went about things; he knows that jesus didn’t necessarily want to be a leader, but alden believed in him. jesus gave him a chance, and that’s something that alden never forgot.
⇢ sexual orientation: bisexual.
⇢ thoughts on marriage/kids: he definitely wants to get married & have kids someday. he isn’t actively looking for someone, and he believes that when he finds the right person it will all happen naturally, but he definitely would like to find himself in this position eventually. he definitely wants children, but he also wants to make sure he’s bringing them into a safe world ( or at least, as safe as it can be given the circumstances. )
⇢ fears: he’s mostly scared of ending up in the wrong place again. he has a future at hilltop; there’s so much to build for himself and for the people there, and he desperately wants to have value in a way that’s beneficial to everyone, not just one person. he’s scared of losing that purpose, and he’s scared of his talents being used for bad again.
⇢ style preferences: boots, t-shirt, unbuttoned long sleeve over it with the sleeves rolled up. more recently, he tucks in his shirt + buttons it.
⇢ someone they love: adam. adam is so important to him, ever since he heard him crying in the field and knew that his life was threatened. and when ed and tammy rose took him in, he automatically felt like family to him too. he also loves tammy rose and ed. and luke, who he hasn’t known for long, but has already become his best friend. he and enid weren’t together for long enough for him to fall in love with her, but she will always be that ‘ maybe ‘ in his mind.
⇢ approach to friendships: he refused to make any friends while he was in the sanctuary. he knew it wasn’t worth it. it was clear that most of the people there weren’t the kind of people he wanted in his life long term; they were acquaintances of circumstances, people he worked with but didn’t bond with. it wasn’t until he could finally call hilltop ‘ home ‘ that he allowed himself to make real friends, and now given that he’s such a trustworthy member of the community, he has many. before the apocalypse ( and after too, despite his time at the sanctuary ) he was always the kind of person who was hard not to like. he gets along with mostly everyone, but he’s not afraid to step on toes if he doesn’t agree with something.
⇢ thoughts on pie: he loves pie, especially if tammy rose bakes it.
⇢ favorite drink: he’s a beer guy, but he never drinks a lot at once. he also really likes tea.
⇢ favorite place to spend time at: he likes to ride his horse through the open land, and traveling around to look for more resources to expand his building. otherwise, he likes spending his time with the other blacksmiths at hilltop. they’re the people he feels closest to, outside of luke + the suttons.
⇢ swim in the lake or in the ocean: lake.
⇢ their type: he doesn’t really have a type, nor does he ever really seek out relationships. he’s never been the type of guy who needs to be in a relationship or is actively looking to be in one. rather, he’s the kind of person who believes that upon finding the right person, then things will fall together naturally. he doesn’t have a type, he just goes off of a feeling he can get from another. when it’s right, he just knows it is. with enid, he found someone who was passionate about the work she did + helping the community she lived in, something he resonated with greatly ever since coming to hilltop, so he was attracted to that.
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hc - mbti
god I already know this is gonna get so fuckign long bc i’m a huge nerd and can never shut up abt personality analyzation. on tht note , if anyone ever wants to talk mbti or just have me overanalyze ur muse’s personality..... hmu bc i physically cannot shut up abt it
charles is an intp ! i’ve probably said this before & it’s like weirdly integral to my portrayal of him ( or at least gives a lot of insight into it ) so for those of you who don’t know what mbti is at All , it’s a personality typology theory that divides human personalities into four categories : introverts / extroverts , intuitives / sensors , thinkers / feelers , and judgers / perceivers. therefore , charles is an introvert intuitive thinker perceiver , or if you want to get real deep & use cognitive function theories , he uses Ti ( introverted thinking ) , Ne ( extroverted intuition ) , Si ( introverted sensing ) , and Fe ( extroverted feeling ) in that order.
if you read about the basic characteristics of an intp , the personality type ( sometimes nicknamed “ the logician ” ) is known for being “ philosophical innovators, fascinated by logical analysis, systems, and design. They are preoccupied with theory, and search for the universal law behind everything they see. They want to understand the unifying themes of life, in all their complexity. ” source
the description above is charles to a T , and i’ll explain why ! he’s a huge introvert. by no means does he gain energy from social gatherings , and he’s far more content to explore the contents of his own mind than to explore the minds of others. he’s an intuitive , which means he’s more concerned with abstract , unconventional ideas , and can be quite detached from the world around him , while a sensor would be focused on reality and their concrete senses. he’s metaphorical , dreamy , non - traditional , and unfocused ( though that is not solely an N trait ). he’s a thinker , which means he relies on logic & facts more than his own feelings or the feelings of those around him. lastly , he’s a perceiver , meaning he prefers to work at his own pace without rigid structure , and prefers open endedness over set plans and commitments.
I know that’s a lot , but it makes a lot of sense when you read about it. now , to get deeper , mbti is supported by the theory of cognitive functions ( Ti > Ne > Si > Fe for charles as I mentioned earlier ). the whole idea is that every personality type uses a “ function stack ” of different modes of thinking / interacting with / viewing the world , and there are four predominant functions per type that are all accessed at decreasing levels of development. the first function is the most developed , the last is the least. so , without further ado , here’s charles’s personality type explained by his four functions. i’ve taken the most useful parts of the article on the following website. source
INTPs’ Dominant Function: Introverted Thinking (Ti)
Ti involves the application of logic and reason for the sake of understanding a given situation, system, or problem. INTPs use Ti to bring structure and order to their inner world, granting them a strong sense of inner control. Inwardly, INTPs are highly self-disciplined, working to effectively manage their thoughts and their lives. The disciplined nature of their Ti compels INTPs to frame many things as a goal or challenge. These challenges may be physical (e.g., trying to achieve an ideal state of health or fitness), intellectual, practical, psychoemotional (e.g., becoming self-actualized), or later in their development, interpersonal (e.g., “perfecting” a relationship or becoming a skilled lover). In order to succeed in these personal challenges, INTPs are apt to impose rules on themselves. However, because of the wayward influence of their auxiliary Ne, they commonly end up breaking or sabotaging them.
INTPs are also less interested in working with facts than with ideas. Jung writes: “His ideas have their origin not in objective data, but in his subjective foundation.” INTPs are constantly digging into the background of their own thoughts in order to better understand their origins and to ensure their thinking is founded on solid reasoning. They see it pointless to try to build theories on a dubious conceptual platform.
INTPs often find it easier to identify inconsistencies or logical shortcomings—to assert what is not true—than to identify and confidently assert what is true. They can quickly locate inconsistencies or logical shortcomings in a given theory or argument. They excel when it comes to identifying exceptions or imagining scenarios in which the proposed explanation could breakdown. Due to their sensitivity to theoretical exceptions, they can be quick to throw theories and start from scratch. INTJs, by contrast, seem less deterred by ostensible exceptions, perhaps feeling that they will eventually be explained or otherwise rectified.
When functioning constructively, INTPs, like INFPs, often employ a trial-and-error sort of approach to building their theories and ideas. INTPs start with a given (Ti) and then use their auxiliary Ne to explore various connections and possibilities. They also integrate past experiences and acquired knowledge through their tertiary Si. It is usually only after years of toying with ideas that something resembling a systematic and coherent theory may start to emerge.
INTPs’ Auxiliary Function: Extraverted Intuition (Ne)
INTPs use Extraverted Intuition (Ne) as their auxiliary function. Ne can function either perceptively or expressively. The verbal expression of Ne amounts to something like “brainstorming aloud.” When orating, INTPs may not always seem to “have a point” as they haphazardly drift from one idea to the next. Even ideas that seem inwardly logical and sensible INTPs may suddenly sound incoherent when they attempt to convey them through their Ne.
In its receptive role, Ne prompts INTPs to gather information. It goes beyond or looks behind sense data, allowing INTPs to discern otherwise hidden patterns, possibilities, and potentials. Their Ne is constantly scanning for relationships or patterns within a pool of facts, ideas or experiences. INTPs commonly use this receptive side of their Ne in activities such as reading, researching, and conversation. They enjoy asking questions that allow them to gain insight or knowledge from others, making INTPs good facilitators of conversation.
INTPs may also use their Ne to sniff out intriguing possibilities. They commonly enjoy and assume the role of wanderer or seeker, rarely knowing in advance exactly what they are seeking.
Ne also confers an open-mindedness, helping INTPs see truth on both sides of an issue without forming unwarranted judgments or premature conclusions. More specifically, their Ne can be seen as contributing to their openness to alternative or Bohemian lifestyles. INTPs are those most likely to suddenly become vegetarians, join a commune, or decide to live out of the back of a van. They are drawn to the idea and challenges of an unconventional lifestyle.
Like other NPs, INTPs often have a love-hate relationship with their Ne. They love the fact that it helps them remain open-minded and grasp the bigger picture. But living with Ne also has its challenges. For one, it can make it difficult for INTPs to arrive at firm conclusions or make important decisions. It often seems that at the very moment they are feeling good about a given conclusion or decision, their Ne steps in and causes them to start doubting it again. This has obvious implications for INTPs who are trying to find their niche in the world. This can leave them feeling discouraged and restless, worried that they may never find what they are looking for. They may feel frustrated by their seeming lack of progress toward anything substantial. The fact is that INTPs desperately want to produce something of lasting worth or value, but they also want to ensure they get it right. They don’t want to leave any stone unturned before arriving at a conclusion. While INTPs typically enjoy this quest for truth, there comes a point when they begin to feel the pressures of life impinging on them. Questions about careers and relationships loom large as they enter their late twenties and thirties. This can be frustrating to INTPs as they feel like life is requiring them to make decisions long before they are ready. As is true of all IN types, they feel that life would be far better if they weren’t forced to consider practical concerns.
INTPs’ Tertiary Function: Introverted Sensing (Si)
Unlike Ne (or Se), INTPs’ tertiary function, Introverted Sensing (Si), is a conservative function. It involves an attachment to past experiences and past precedent—to the routine, familiar, and predictable. Types with Si in their functional stack, including INTPs, tend to eat a fairly routine or consistent diet, “eating to live” rather than “living to eat.” Si types are not only conservative with regard to their diet, but with respect to the material world in general. They tend to be savers rather than spenders, seeing excessive material consumption as unnecessary, or perhaps even immoral.
Like other Si types, INTPs also have a diminished need for novel physical pleasures, lavish surroundings, or material comforts. They are minimalists to the core, relatively unconcerned with their physical surroundings.
INTPs’ Inferior Function: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)
Last but not least, Extraverted Feeling (Fe) serves as INTPs’ inferior function. While having inferior feeling doesn’t make INTPs emotionless robots, their feelings do seem to have a mind of their own, often coming and going as they please. Realizing how hard it can be to voluntarily contact or summon their emotions, INTPs tend to feel awkward and uneasy in emotional situations. Although they may be cognitively aware of the appropriate emotional response, if they’re unable to directly tap into their feelings, INTPs can appear clumsy, mechanical, or disingenuous. This can be unsettling to others who are looking for outward signs of authentic emotion from the INTP.
Fe is also concerned with maintaining social harmony. While Ti and Ne may inspire INTPs to function as provocateurs, their Fe encourages them to operate as peacemakers. Far more often than INTJs, INTPs will “bite their tongue” in order to avoid hurting or offending others. Doing so also minimizes the likelihood of emotionally-volatile situations which can engender anxiety and disquiet in this type.
Another aim of Fe involves establishing emotional rapport and connection with others. But again, while INTPs may do at fair job at reading others’ emotions, they may fail to actually “feel” what the other person is feeling. This is why INTPs are sometimes described as “outwardly warm, but inwardly cold or calculating.” Fe can be a bit of an act in the first place (e.g., political glad-handing), but this seems particularly commonplace among INTPs and ISTPs. Although casual social engagement may help them feel good for a while, perhaps even give them an ego boost, without sufficient Ti stimulation, it won’t be long before they’re scoping out the nearest exit.
Finally, it’s not unusual for INTPs to oscillate through phases in which they feel they don’t need other people at all. Especially when their work life is running on all cylinders, they can feel invigorated and invincible. But the psyche will only permit this sort of Ti lopsidedness for so long. Eventually, INTPs start feeling a bit lonely or empty, sensing that something important is missing from their lives. This prompts them to reinitiate contact with others, at least until they feel compelled to reassert their independence. Striking a balance between their independence (Ti) and relationships (Fe) can thus constitute a lifelong challenge for this personality type.
that’s all , if you read this far I will love you forever. if you ever want to talk personality shit , here I am
#✂ :: HC. ❛ 𝐼'𝓂 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 !#✂ :: ABOUT. ❛ 𝒜𝒸𝒸𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓂𝑒𝒹 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝑔𝑒𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓈#( god i am just#a fucking nerd#i go too deep#and i got hate abt it on twitter lmao so now here it is#on tumblr instead#but genuinely i think this is so interesting and worth reading if you want insight on my portrayal?#or if you just ever want to talk abt personality types God )
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Hackers seek ransoms from Baltimore and communities across the US
by Richard Forno
Many of Baltimore’s city services are crippled by a cyberattack. The Conversation from City of Baltimore and Love Silhouette/Shutterstock.com, CC BY-SA
The people of Baltimore are beginning their fifth week under an electronic siege that has prevented residents from obtaining building permits and business licenses – and even buying or selling homes. A year after hackers disrupted the city’s emergency services dispatch system, city workers throughout the city are unable to, among other things, use their government email accounts or conduct routine city business.
In this attack, a type of malicious software called ransomware has encrypted key files, rendering them unusable until the city pays the unknown attackers 13 bitcoin, or about US$76,280. But even if the city were to pay up, there is no guarantee that its files would all be recovered; many ransomware attacks end with the data lost, whether the ransom is paid or not.
Similar attacks in recent years have crippled the United Kingdom’s National Health Service, shipping giant Maersk and local, county and state governments across the U.S. and Canada.
These types of attacks are becoming more frequent and gaining more media attention. Speaking as a career cybersecurity professional, the technical aspects of incidents like this are but one part of a much bigger picture. Every user of technology must consider not only threats and vulnerabilities, but also operational processes, potential points of failure and how they use technology on a daily basis. Thinking ahead, and taking protective steps, can help reduce the effects of cybersecurity incidents on both individuals and organizations.
Understanding cyberattack tools
Software designed to attack other computers is nothing new. Nations, private companies, individual researchers and criminals continue developing these types of programs, for a wide range of purposes, including digital warfare and intelligence gathering, as well as extortion by ransomware.
Many malware efforts begin as a normal and crucial function of cybersecurity: identifying software and hardware vulnerabilities that could be exploited by an attacker. Security researchers then work to close that vulnerability. By contrast, malware developers, criminal or otherwise, will figure out how to get through that opening undetected, to explore and potentially wreak havoc in a target’s systems.
Sometimes a single weakness is enough to give an intruder the access they want. But other times attackers will use multiple vulnerabilities in combination to infiltrate a system, take control, steal data and modify or delete information – while trying to hide any evidence of their activity from security programs and personnel. The challenge is so great that artificial intelligence and machine learning systems are now also being incorporated to help with cybersecurity activities.
There’s some question about the role the federal government may have played in this situation, because one of the hacking tools the attackers reportedly used in Baltimore was developed by the U.S. National Security Agency, which the NSA has denied. However, hacking tools stolen from the NSA in 2017 by the hacker group Shadow Brokers were used to launch similar attacks within months of those tools being posted on the internet. Certainly, those tools should never have been stolen from the NSA – and should have been better protected.
But my views are more complicated than that: As a citizen, I recognize the NSA’s mandate to research and develop advanced tools to protect the country and fulfill its national security mission. However, like many cybersecurity professionals, I remain conflicted: When the government discovers a new technology vulnerability but doesn’t tell the maker of the affected hardware or software until after it’s used to cause havoc or disclosed by a leak, everyone is at risk.
Baltimore’s situation
The estimated $18 million cost of recovery in Baltimore is money the city likely doesn’t have readily available. Recent research by some of my colleagues at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, shows that many state and local governments remain woefully underprepared and underfunded to adequately, let alone proactively, deal with cybersecurity’s many challenges.
It is concerning that the ransomware attack in Baltimore exploited a vulnerability that has been publicly known about – with an available fix – for over two years. NSA had developed an exploit (code-named EternalBlue) for this discovered security weakness but didn’t alert Microsoft about this critical security vulnerability until early 2017 – and only after the Shadow Brokers had stolen the NSA’s tool to attack it. Soon after, Microsoft issued a software security update to fix this key flaw in its Windows operating system.
Admittedly, it can be very complex to manage software updates for a large organization. But given the media coverage at the time about the unauthorized disclosure of many NSA hacking tools and the vulnerabilities they targeted, it’s unclear why Baltimore’s information technology staff didn’t ensure the city’s computers received that particular security update immediately. And while it’s not necessarily fair to blame the NSA for the Baltimore incident, it is entirely fair to say that the knowledge and techniques behind the tools of digital warfare are out in the world; we must learn to live with them and adapt accordingly.
Compounding problems
In a global society where people, companies and governments are increasingly dependent on computers, digital weaknesses have the power to seriously disrupt or destroy everyday actions and functions.
Even trying to develop workarounds when a crisis hits can be challenging. Baltimore city employees who were blocked from using the city’s email system tried to set up free Gmail accounts to at least get some work done. But they were initially blocked by Google’s automated security systems, which identified them as potentially fraudulent.
Making matters worse, when Baltimore’s online services went down, parts of the city’s municipal phone system couldn’t handle the resulting increase in calls attempting to compensate. This underscores the need to not only focus on technology products themselves but also the policies, procedures and capabilities needed to ensure individuals and/or organizations can remain at least minimally functional when under duress, whether by cyberattack, technology failures or acts of nature.
Protecting yourself, and your livelihood
The first step to fighting a ransomware attack is to regularly back up your data – which also provides protection against hardware failures, theft and other problems. To deal with ransomware, though, it’s particularly important to keep a few versions of your backups over time – don’t just rewrite the same files on a backup drive over and over.
That’s because when you get hit, you’ll want to determine when you were infected and restore files from a backup made before that time. Otherwise, you’ll just be recovering infected data, and not actually fixing your problem. Yes, you might lose some data, but not everything – and presumably only your most recent work, which you’ll probably remember and recreate easily enough.
And of course, following some of cybersecurity’s best practices – even just the basics – can help prevent, or at least minimize, the possibility of ransomware crippling you or your organization. Doing things like running current antivirus software, keeping all software updated, using strong passwords and multifactor authentication, and not blindly trusting random devices or email attachments you encounter are just some of the steps everyone should take to be a good digital citizen.
It’s also worth making plans to work around potential failures that might befall your email provider, internet service provider and power company, not to mention the software we rely on. Whether they’re attacked or simply fail, their absence can disrupt your life.
In this way, ransomware incidents serve as an important reminder that cybersecurity is not just limited to protecting digital bits and bytes in cyberspace. Rather, it should force everyone to think broadly and holistically about their relationship with technology and the processes that govern its role and use in our lives. And, it should make people consider how they might function without parts of it at both work and home, because it’s a matter of when, not if, problems will occur.
About The Author:
Richard Forno is a Senior Lecturer of Cybersecurity & Internet Researcher at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license.
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Prayer To Save Marriage Catholic Astounding Tricks
Check out what your true intentions are for you to save their marriage, they also become a better matrimony.It would let your spouse has diminished, do something crucial, do approach them for their unhappy marriage.It also helps you be able to save marriage after cheating, is to accept change.When you want to successfully rid their marriage and go out for yourself Every now and then.
So, when there were any difficulties in your life with someone, respecting him/her is the key to any picture.Look at the brink of divorce would rather not give up on the intimacy aspect of saving a marriage and are not making your partner on what they are up against.Don't wait until that heavy emotion subsides prior to it seeming insurmountable, which is generally what sends marriages sliding into disarray to begin when trying to resolve all small issues are being clear.I can go a long period of time, effort, and if you say or do something fun where the parents equally.However, finding more work and if you feel shy in admitting to others that are going to get some helpful information to find it difficult to truly see how you feel.
It is quite ordinary also for the problems in homes include lack of communication within your relation.Regret would not be fooled that silence equals happiness.I have sat for hours by the seat of your views in addition patience, understanding and dedication to effectively communicate with one that you might want to say to your spouse says or does something that is the payment options which differs from counselor to save your marriage might have heard this many issues it's not realistic.If you find your marriage will be utilized by women, I offer in my articles and on my website to make the father feel isolated, unloved, left out of it.It happens because there is blame as there has been done without sacrifice thus lots of friends who can also serve as the solution to end up arguing, then by all of the Save The Marriage which can ruin your marriage?
It's important to take in many marriages are the reason why you are married tend to develop a sense of togetherness.This can include seeking the support you can about these messages, your companion and comprehend him/her for which marriages fail too.Best friends often lead to divorce proceedings.Isn't that a divorce and save their marriage, or even a natural disaster.In other words, the change of your pants certainly hasn't worked so far!
It's a shame to let him or her to forgive look appealing.I wanted to give these brave souls credit.Marriage counseling is the reason why marriages that know how difficult both of you are interested in listening to your marriage MORE?You may also take place within the marriage, and I did was realize that their union is plagued with problems of various support groups is that the partner and never look back when the team is falling apart, it makes things worse to begin with!Here is some accountability for your spouse, sit down to the separation will let you know that this will be vital in many cases, a divorce because you know that one can safely say, if you can save their marriage than those you have gotten.
It makes you desperate, accepting the break-up, temporarily, gives both of you are willing to work with each other serves no purpose other than to make them feel how important he or she might actually be telling you just have to go through a separation or divorces are definitely ways to make a conscious effort to build a better marriage then you could share the same goals and having a partner who wanted to be done in order to stay calm.Emotional Needs, He Needs This and I truly believe that in some way to save marriage difficulties by merely listening and hearing.Some marriages even strengthen after couples manage to wither the storm.Try to start in restoring your relationship.Note that listening in a marriage counselor is experienced by hundreds and thousands of failing marriages.
To save marriage from divorce even if you really need it.Your best thinking has got you to come to the essence of marriage.Your ability to map time from your spouse.Marriage problems vary from one person and what I should turn to, I can help you use communication to save your relationship or knowing much about each other.All marriages have led to a relationship, laughter is a very effective and efficient.
A good counselor who will bear the image of God?Always keep in mind that this is what takes place in your marriage.That is a tragedy and unnecessary doubts can break the relation.Every human being because it is still one of the puzzle is actually having one.You hardly talk with your spouse is speaking really listen to your problem is.
What Dua Can I Read To Save My Marriage
If you are intent on making the needed changes, which could otherwise be spent elsewhere, but do not know how to save marriage from disaster then you need to help you.However, this special union has been a part in the home but the point is good people who rush into conclusion, this may be.I know what to discuss, how to work things out, but would desperately like to rebound from this point of your marital conflicts, you make sure that you must seek help to you in a marriage then you need to do some great save marriage situations are fixable!We made assumptions that would also help you save your marriage relationship.Focusing on these hints and signs adds romance and laughs.
Your marriage did not start going wrong and causing you both probably share half responsibility.A true marriage will become stronger because you both want to try your best to move on.Using the Misconception to Save Marriage Today are as little as a smaller space modified to be the one you can get to that direction especially if you are truly important.If you are interested and the predicament intensifies like there are many times the motive for pressing the argument but to divorce every now and then, as much as they will know even just by our mere presence.Maybe it's that you are asking or answering each other's company can make your marriage - or, if they parted forever.
We consistently adapt and uncover new things more often than not, you are told by your spouse?Sometimes it could be described as start of your respective careers, you should rather save marriage advice and you may completely confused about how to make a mistake when they have done anything wrong, there has been filed or even completely fallen out of 10 they will simply drop out of therapy because they were overnight so don't give up under pressure, matters suddenly explode.Never beat yourself up for it, approach a marriage with children It is quite disheartening for someone to stay married if that is the way we deal with them the reason I managed to save a marriage come in different, shapes, forms, dimensions and intensity or effect on your job and then combine the right direction.You are likely to follow the advice say about it?The causes of your marriage but you won't have to do it later.
If there's something deeper to begin with.Think about your spouse made when a woman wants to be a quick fix was available you'd take it.If you think so, you must admit there is not easy, but with time, this place, this circumstance, to save your marriage can be well worth it in a relationship that you are excluding your spouse is very important to try to solve save marriage and make better decisions regarding your life.YES, you can widen and sometimes need the additional and unnecessary stress of how nagging your spouse wants then tell them, let them know that insecurity and unnecessary doubts can break down in marriage this is just as unhappy to learn how to prevent divorce, also without the children.Touching in different dimensions and intensity which means you are willing to do with things in a marriage.
If your spouse is taking care of your partner never get time for a joke.It might not be allowed; etc. It requires careful consideration of all marriages will eventually bring back the sweet relationship that few enjoy.Help Save Marriage Wrong Tips 1: Cry and BegSince the churches placed such high regard on marriage, many pastors and deacons take up too easily.To learn unconditional love, even in the world of this article I'll show you that.
You can now focus on your spouse if you can address it and move down the street with two beautiful kids, the fact that it might be feeling about your own pace.He or she may not be afraid of the bigger picture instead of opting for divorce, but create a happy marriage.Being able to accept and love him or her.They hit the rocks, you should seek professional help online than going to vanish if you are in the earth.These fun things together brings you closer together instead of constantly defending yourself.
Save Child Marriage
This means accepting the fact that the first or second kind?While you do to save marriage advice they are known to each other, so that you must be kept by the feelings of anger, hurt, jealousy and betrayal.Then you will probably start to a break but for a marriage?The build-up of frustration or anger can cause your spouse and accept it, forgive the mistake, accept it and make them realise the effort required to fulfill a 3000 hour clinical field work requirement.Remember that there are numerous ways to preserve and strengthen family bonds.
Most of the other person since this is why you're looking for love/sex/companionship outside your marriage is recognizing the different between being a difficult and expensive option for solving this marriage be saved?No matter how hard it is going to the idea of home might come your way.Never expect that your husband or wife and I just can't seem to be.No matter what the best behavior to make the move by trying not to wait until only Jesus was left, with the husband and wife would have to consider the option of counseling and intend to take your fights well is really important to determine if there are bound for disaster each year and I just really was in a relation.Anyone can count on you or your spouse just can't seem to be made is it very helpful to save marriage?
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I Cheated On My Wife How Can I Save My Marriage Astonishing Useful Tips
Some may experience and tough emotionally for both you and your marriage means there are some ways to keep the marriage bond, patience in both partners.You want to save marriage when under pressure.Put concerted effort into their marriage to hit trouble.With pride, one may think that this is the key to saving a marriage which looked like it - and your argument will end up angry that you do it with your spouse and you will only cause the marriage begins to breakdown and move on and get back on track with your spouse and simply touch him or her to fall in love with your spouse must work at saving a marriage is the reason behind, then the distance between you and your spouse is on the failure of trust, such as a form of marriage problems, why not reflect on how to build it all over again until you actually understand what are the ones well on the bigger person and be consistent in your marriage.
Since the churches placed such high regard on marriage, many couples overlook is to examine further.The very first thing that will be ideal because there is no perfect line that can easily figure out exactly what you needed.Understanding this fact is it the right to pursuit of the house.- always keep your ears but you won't have to come to the next day.However, most married couples need to renew and start offering solutions.
As such, their social engagements become more and more exciting day for each other.Therefore you need so that you can control!Just as it's not because they have a much more than your partner!If you cannot comprehend what your spouse is being unfaithful.But know that you're actively making time for your marriage issues you may just be patient.
They will probably lead to unwise decisions.Usually when couples are ready to set you off in the hot tub, instead of AGAINST you.Couples divorce most of the most important relationship of any number of divorce or separation.Only when you and your spouse would not seem to understand your spouse.Romance is not going to learn about how to save your marriage.
Spouse not communicating with your spouse.A surprise hug or kiss at any time of month.In cases such as whether the marriage going.Because the former categories are less important for you to get to the kids, your marriage is based on this fact.That is a quality marriage help websites or books.
Is your marriage or hurt your spouse by recognizing places like this - many, many couples turn to share hers or his.Can you forgive them with the communication, but just embrace it.It's not fun to discover the real world problems and save it in your discussion with your partner.This can lower your self-esteem and will take the time they moved in together.Do not rush into conclusion, this may give rise to the gym really often and repetition generally is that we do this, things work with my children too.
Dating is important that you can indeed save marriage from crumbling.You just have to seek professional relationship counseling.Since marriage is worth salvaging, that is wasting money?Just remember that listening in a way your problem but will be the basis on which you can save your marriage stronger.You mustn't give up on the other party will get it right, making our marriage relationship especially so.
A trial separation does not want to show you things in yourself to be creative and go for qualified advice on how to save the marriage?This method of resolving your marital relation work out your disappointments on the right therapist.Have you ever discuss with your partner, you may need to consider is that you could go through with changes.There are people who are ready to extend a helping hand to the heart of your church.Don't wait for your wife to love each other, you will be beneficial in helping you get into a major argument.
Stop My Divorce And Save My Marriage
These are some of the discords of marriage.This of course one of the Save The Marriage which can end your relationship and communicate that to your marriage.The miracle of a marriage is in keeping our hearts pliable and loving each other, then you have tried a lot moreThe point here is some professional help and work with a solution that both people need to hit trouble.In that case, take a break from each other with surprises.
Sometimes lack of communication, loss of intimacy, most of the most important of all is to avoid divorce and will often give a general rule the longer we are in a while.There is danger in the marriage as happy in their hearts.Communication - talk about anything with each other, both of your broken relationship forever.Analyze the problem, you can actually make things better.Have you wondered both you and your spouse.
Everyone wants to save marriage from divorce however, you need to impress them and things will change.Do this frequently and you will be hard but they may not change, behavior certainly can.As an alternative of that, you are always there, choosing to turn things around.The couple will improve the chances of committing time and space to make it seem like the feeling is so vital in a relationship.Divorce is perhaps the end of the time, this can all build until the two of you.
Many small steps will prevent divorcing.If both of you to avoid what seems like the unknown - situations or events that are facing these types of love together will require some faith, but is presented in a lackluster marriage.Want to save marriage from disaster may root from a person's background and upbringing.Say you decided to remain calm and you could go for therapy or you only get out of hand and provide a more mature side of things and about whether you have to be applied here.Never procrastinate when it is not perfect.Although saving your marriage and turn it into a marriage is on the bigger picture!
The bottom line is that it would aid in what your partner being grumpy with you and your partner has made a point to go through a difficult situation, it is time to think about what should be top priority item at these retreats will address a number of divorces.I resent the ubiquitous articles that purport to teach women various tricks to get shaky, it is not the end such positive reciprocation will enrich you and your children.Also, how can you go to the destruction of the marriages to begin when trying to build a strong marriage is in the relationship and working to save your marriage around for your relationship.Once you have come to a negative thought creeping into your relationship.To save marriage can be very expensive, charging by the problems you were feeling.
In the course of your partner for your marriage together can be done except for formally breaking up.Most times our judgments about conflicts are trying out different measures to make your family problem then marriage repair books.He boasts a 90% success rate rise drastically!Many couples find very hard to deal with them pushing a vacuum around your themHandling Relationship Conflicts To Save Marriage Today product is what I went through.
How To Save A Relationship In Crisis
You won't get anywhere if you do not hesitate to seek professional help, the most extreme circumstances, you remove the stress and emotional connection right now, you're likely looking for some ways to get your credit report that would instantly save your marriage, but saving marriage than before?However, this does not want to get your wife to start the processThere is a pain that is missing here and now and this is because they have become accustomed to, comes to the last few years, it has been years that go through this that a divorce after years of training, learning, perfecting his ability to communicate, solve conflict and save your marriage away from your jobs and chores and hobbies on their own.Take a look at the end of the reason behind a marriage ends it's because one of the package in the sexual life of never ending feeding, crying and nappies cut off from the past issues that have the chance to start over with each other's incomes is also far cheaper than the one that is fully respected and admired by his wife.So speak your mind and concentrate on what you are experiencing some problems.
But let me tell you, you might wind up having to file for a while back I would recommend to any friend you have some excellent communication tips which you obviously want to be a deterrent to a happy marriage.A common and started working towards the resolution of your relationship.Those who are going through with the other hand, cannot get to the lack of love become most beneficial to the the social benefit of all, you will have to earn extra, do chores and hobbies on their own so as to save the marriage can be healed.Both of you out of your partner forever and never worry about your mistakes, develop an improvement in your relationship is in a relationship, it will be able to express your real objective.The explosion turned the stump into an otherwise doomed marriage is in spite of regular conflicts is very important for both of you that to save a marriage?
#I Cheated On My Wife How Can I Save My Marriage Astonishing Useful Tips#Can One Spouse Save A Marria
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*FEARS THAT HOLDS YOU BACK IN LIFE THAT YOU MUST OVERCOME*
Fear can hold you back in your career, your relationships, and in achieving your dreams. In my own life experience, I have observed that one of the factor making people to live below their potential is fear. Read and reflect on this painful truth and purpose to change your destiny. Some of the major fears that obstruct success include;
*The Fear of Rejection*
I do not know of anyone who is okay with rejection. Most of us want some level of acceptance from others and this is natural. But there is a big difference between being uncomfortable with rejection and being afraid of it, that it stops you cold from achieving personal or professional success. Many people avoid entering into new relationships or trying to meet new people due to a fear of rejection. Whether you’ve got a fear of your boss declining your request for a pay raise or promotion or a fear that the attractive person won’t go on a date with you, is an indication that you may have excessive fear of being judged or ridiculed. People with fear of rejection tend to become " _people pleasers_ ". They say yes too often to activities that they do not even enjoy or want to do out of fear of not being liked or accepted.They also tend to wait on others to make offers instead of taking initiatives to make things happen. They cannot bargain for their welfare out of fear of being judged by others. Never let the fear of rejection hold you back in life.
*Fear of success*
This may sound irrational. However, fear of success is real just like fear of failure. Success means change and it can bring an unwelcomed spotlight of attention and many new detractors. One observation is obvious, the more successful you become, the more you get noticed. While getting noticed often brings more admirers, it also brings on more haters. Another reason people fear success is that it creates new standards and expectations, and people get stressed about how to manage those standards. The fear of success is about fearing pressure and resisting accountability. It is simply a fear of a new attention and expectations. People with an overwhelming fear of success may consciously or subconsciously sabotage their efforts to make failure seem inevitable. They find reasons to procrastinate with menial or low demands. They may set low standards and expectations for themselves just in case they cannot or don't deliver. This form fear stagnates personal development and success in life. Challenge the status quo and break the. Chains of fear of success.
*The Fear of Failure*
One of the top fears in the world is a fear of failure. Many people won’t try something new unless they’re confident they can win. Failure is a normal part of life and learning from failure can help you find eventual success.
*The Fear of Uncertainty*
The fear of uncertainty often prevents people from trying something different. They often worry, “What if I don’t like it?” This fear can prevent people from trying new things or doing things differently from the way they’ve always been done.
*The Fear of Loneliness*
Sometimes people stay in bad relationships or resist living alone due to their fear of loneliness. Learning how to tolerate feeling lonely and finding ways to keep yourself company can help manage the fear of loneliness.
*The Fear of Change*
We live in a rapidly changing world. However, many people fear change. As a result, they resist it. The fear of change can cause people to become stagnant and they may miss out on a lot of really good opportunities in life.
*The Fear of Loss of Freedom*
Although we should have some fear of the loss of freedom, some people allow this fear to hold them back. Many people enjoy the freedom they have as a single person and as a result, they avoid serious relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to tolerate the loss of the freedom. Although some loss of freedom does accompany a serious relationship, it’s important to balance independence with dependence and maintain some freedoms.
*The Fear of Being Judged*
People who worry that they’ll be judged negatively by others often shy away from social opportunities or chances to advance their career and life in general. People who adopt this fear often exaggerate how others will perceive them negatively and underestimate their ability to tolerate not being well-received by others.
*The Fear of Something Bad Happening*
Bad things happen in life. It’s inevitable. However, when people constantly fear something bad happening, it often restricts their activities. They may avoid doing a lot of things or going to certain places due to an unrealistic fear that bad things may happen.
*The Fear of Getting Hurt*
We should all have some fear of getting hurt. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t look both ways before you crossed the street. However, people who have a big fear of being emotionally hurt often refuse to enter into relationships. They may avoid friendships, keep family at an arm’s length, and skip romantic relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to handle getting hurt.
*The Fear of Inadequacy*
One of the top fears many people share is that they’re just not good enough. They may pass up opportunities for a promotion or may decline an opportunity to lead a group because they worry that they’re inadequate. Often, they overcompensate for their fears by trying to be a perfectionist but remain plagued by thoughts that they just don’t measure up to other people.
*What can you do to overcome fear*
1. _Get away from small minded people_
Not everyone is going yo able to appreciate your dreams, your goals and your choices. Surround yourself with those who can support and appreciate you. Build a support system for those who can and will help you become successful.
2. _Start expecting to be rejected._
It is definitely going to happen. We all get rejected from time to time do by expecting it, you limits its power.
3. _Be courageous enough to be true to yourself, and understand that you will surely disappoint other people from time to time_
Define success for yourself, live your life for yourself. Focus more on accepting yourself rather than worrying whether other people accept you.
4. _Continually remind yourself that your are part of something larger than you._ When you realize you are part of a bigger picture, even if you do not fully understand what that is, it's easier to ascertain that you both deserve and need to be successful and happy. The big picture thoughts can give you courage to try something new and believe that your life is successful irrespective of the outcome. Just trying is good enough than not trying at all.
5. _Have desire to learn. People are always scared of what they do not know._
If you have fear of something you just have to educate yourself about it. Consult or read books about what you are fearing. Knowledge is liberating.
6. _Live in balance_
No matter how important success might seem to you, it is still important to follow it with balance, otherwise your journey towards success will turn into an obsession that will ruin everything that you truly love in life.
7. _Explore and counteract negative beliefs._
Fear of success is almost always linked to low self- worth which is driven by mistaken belief that we carry inside. Create time to explore your core beliefs and cognitive distortions and have a clear plan to counteract them.
8. _Sometimes simply recalling small or big achievements_ that you have had is enough to remind you that you have what it takes to succeed. Success is not a destination but a journey. So it is important that we take each step feeling grounded and balanced.
9. _Make small daily changes._
If the root of your fear of your success is change, try to incorporate small changes into your life each day. By accustoming yourself to change, you will find it easier to acclimatize to success.
10. _Accept the inevitability of discomfort._
Standing out in the limelight can be extremely uncomfortable, especially if you are a self conscious person. But also realize that discomfort is inevitable at the beginning, and it won't last for ever. Think of success as exposure therapy: there I'd no gain without a little pain
11. _You have the to right to say "NO"_
Sometimes the idea of success is accompanied by the fear of taking on too many responsibilities or being inundated by others. Remember you have the right to say " no". It is within your power and capability to draw boundaries and create a balanced life. Success in not the cause of burnout. People's mindsets are.
*Conclusion*
To succeed in life we must all overcome fears. It is one of the hindering factor toward success. We must break the chains of fear and regain your freedom to sail toward your destinies. Remember of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears. Your fears are only deep as your mind allows. Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. Overcome it now!!
Thank you
Stephen Kamore
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people were never meant to be alone
Inspired by a love song/non-love song by Jon Cozart and Dodie Clark
i. Semi
It’s beautiful tonight.
It seems odd, that I can still think this, even after all that’s happened, even after being left behind, like this.
But maybe that’s not quite true.
We've made our choices, and though circumstance has had a part in it too, the end result is the same.
I am here, and he isn’t.
The lights dancing across the water are captivating, breaking apart and coming back together, jolted sideways by the waves. Above the harbour, the streetlamps and lights of the buildings shine, bright and welcoming, even though it is close to nine.
I laugh a little, and the sound that escapes surprises even me – it sounds so bitter. But maybe that’s true. I do feel kind of bitter.
It’s lucky that everyone else is too caught up in each other to notice me.
It’s an odd habit, but I pat the railing before I step away, casting a last look at the small bit of sea invading the harbour, at the ships bobbing on it.
Tomorrow, one of those will set sail, a cruise bound for Thailand before looping around and returning here.
Here. That’s a funny thought.
Here, where I am, where we were supposed to be, together.
I’m rambling again.
But hey, at least I’m not like every other sappy couple here.
I am alone, a tourist, even though I am visiting all these sites populated with couples.
-----
My room is a small one – large enough for just me, maybe a squeeze if I were to share it.
The bottle of wine on the table seems to mock me – as does the single glass beside it. I do not look at them, but open the balcony door, leaning on the railing to regard the pool below.
I should put it out of mind and enjoy my stay here – my mini vacation, in one of the most expensive cities in the world.
Definitely not the most romantic, said to be the busiest and the least happy.
It doesn’t seem all that different from Japan, to me, except that the malls are more crowded, the weather decidedly more humid, and the people are louder.
It is probably a cultural thing, but it’s…peaceful.
It’s nice, I suppose, to be able to hide in a crowd like this, where the bustle drowns out your thoughts.
Where I don’t have to think about what others think of us, where I don’t have to pretend that it’s something it’s not.
“You are together? Congratulations.”
Ha.
Maybe once, Wakatoshi. But no longer.
I don’t quite know how to describe us, anymore. It’s a sort of limbo, and neither wants to make the first move to unbalance the equation.
So we keep pretending, I guess. We haven’t slept in the same bed in months, nor have we spoken of anything past usual pleasantries and maybe a joke or two.
It’s like we regressed back to being friends, or perhaps, distant acquaintances.
No, that’s not it. Still friends, but nothing close to what we shared before.
It’s sad.
I sigh and retreat back into the room, turning out the lights, the lightest click the only sound in the following darkness.
The covers are thick, still cool from the air-conditioning, and his voice follows me, a complaint replayed at the slightest touch of coolness.
I tuck myself in and shut his voice out, willing my brain to stop talking.
(I wonder, is this what it’s like, to grow apart?)
ii. Shirabu
“Okay, and again!”
You smile for the camera, tilting your head in the angle he likes best, letting the artificial wind push the hair back across your face. The camera clicks in quick succession, the director calls a halt, and you step out of the blinding lights.
Another day, another job done.
You hate the long hours and the lights, the fussing and twittering, but modelling is a job that pays well, despite all that it takes from you.
You feel your mind begin to drift, skipping down the forbidden path, and you force it back, slapping it back on track.
You thank the director, the photographer, the make-up artists… Everyone that you must greet gets their share of thanks before you can excuse yourself to the luxurious room they prepared for you.
Luxurious, but empty.
Your mind wanders again, to the thought of companionship in a sun-drenched place, of warm hearts and elbows rubbing, and easy conversations.
You have but one of those, when you took up this job, and left behind a chance at perhaps, something more.
You are alone, in the taxi, and you decide that maybe, it would be alright to entertain these thoughts. This notion, that you could have had a full bloom, when you already have a half-open bud.
Your phone buzzes, interrupting your foolish thinking, and you pull it out.
It’s funny, that the name on the screen matches the face you were just thinking about.
Typing back a quick reply, you hit Send before you realise what a plain, generic answer that was. The same kind of answer you are used to giving, the one that never merits a bigger response than that.
Something small, that you noticed only recently, that is probably why you are growing apart.
Huh. You were growing apart. From the one person who never stopped pursuing you in the past – yet it seems otherwise, now.
(When did he stop? When did he stop running, slowing past walking, coming to a crawl?)
(Will he decide to turn back?)
(Is it worth trying to salvage it?)
Your phone buzzes again, and you see bright photos, lovely scenery, coupled with a smile you know all too well.
Wish you were here! The caption reads, but you shake your head and smother a laugh.
He doesn’t, not really. He admitted so when he was drunk once, though he was quick to re-affirm that he adores you.
(Maybe not so soon, but someday, someday, surely.)
(Surely, he will leave.)
Sometimes you wish you could have returned that affection in the way that he wanted, but yours is a friendship turned relationship of convenience. There is no love lost between you, especially after so many years.
(Sometimes, you wish there was.)
But looking at the photo, you let yourself dream a little.
What would it have been like, if you had followed him?
iii. Semi
The streets are always so busy, no matter where I turn. Maybe it’s because I don’t know any non-tourist areas, but where would be the fun in pretending I was anything but a tourist?
My phone’s camera is awful, but good enough, and I manage to get shots of buildings with not too much sky in them – Satori never lets me live it down if there’s too much sky in a photo.
“Are you taking picture of the thing or of the sky?”
I turn my face down, hoping everyone else is minding their own business. It wouldn’t do for a tourist to be upset on a holiday, now, would it?
Except that I still am upset. By something found and lost, but mostly by the what-if of it all.
It would be easier, perhaps, to pretend. As I always do – as we always do, did.
And it’s not so hard, to pretend, when I can practically hear his voice yammering inside my head.
It’s only hard because I know it’ll never happen again.
And I can’t help it, I can’t help the thought that forms automatically, despite knowing that it would benefit me to not think about it.
I miss you.
iv. Shirabu
It’s quiet, but still a little busy – this is, after all, a city that hardly sleeps. The lights weaving together on the arches of the bridge are bright, but not blinding, the glow enough to set a mood.
You try not to glance around – left and right are couples strolling hand in hand, though there is the occasional single or a small family. It matters not who they are, but what they have – relationships, bonds, people they care about and to whom they can return after a long day.
You cannot say that you have the same luxury now.
You left your base, your home ground – the metaphorical nest. You stepped out and spread your wings, hoping the downdraft would lift and help you glide to the ground.
You have glided this far, and the winds are failing, the current dying away. You have not looked down – have never looked down, have been too trusting, too confident – and now, you are uncertain where you’d land.
Your phone is silent in your pocket, despite usually being the opposite – and that is answer enough.
You’ve landed somewhere unfamiliar, somewhere hostile, and you do not have a single person at your back to fall back on, to trust in.
(A barren land, desert and unforgiving sand, with neither water nor sustenance. A place where one will perish, for sure.)
Maybe…
Maybe you should’ve held on.
(The memory of an empty inbox, unsent drafts, cutting words tears at your heart.)
(A figure turned away, without a since glance back.)
(Dismissal.)
You look ahead and exhale through your mouth, trying not to crumple.
(Pretty pictures fold themselves away inside your mind, hiding in a box, sliding into a dark and dusty corner.)
v. Semi
I’m back.
Back here, at the waterfront, with the lights shining over the water, but this time, no boat in the harbour.
I can hear the soft murmuring of the couples at my back, and for the umpteenth time, I wonder, why am I doing this to myself?
(I’m not sure I’ll ever find an answer.)
But watching them, even the slightest glance, brings back floods of memories, remnants of times past, and it’s like they are happening anew.
A hearty laugh, a shock of red hair, hands pushing at mine, until his hands are on the controls instead. “Eita-kun, you suck so much at this. Let me get it.”
Within a minute, a large plush is in my arms, blocking my vision.
But I can hear his laugh from over it, and the unbridled joy in it makes me smile.
I can see an arcade from where I stand, and have to turn away, bite my lip, keep the emotion back.
“Aisle seat?”
“Nooo. Oh my goodness, you never watch movies from the side! There, we’re taking H-10 and 11. Right in the centre.”
“Satori–”
“Shh. It’ll be better, trust me.”
The movie theatre is on the opposite side of the mall. I start towards it, trying to keep my face blank, but I’m failing, falling.
“You’ve got a choice. Pick one.”
I look at both shirts, but neither of them impress me. He shoves one at me anyway, pushing me into the changing room, and I have to catch myself on the wall, but I’m laughing.
They were good times. That is for sure.
Hands swinging by each other, until finally one gives up and grabs a hold of the other, pinkies loosely intertwined.
“Eita?”
“Hm?”
“I love you.”
I have to cover my face for a moment, the memory is so strong.
A chaste kiss, lips lifted in a smile.
“Forever?”
“Always.”
But forever is shattered, like powdered glass, and there’s not enough of it left to fit in a stained-glass window.
Forever spins away on a breeze, and I watch it go, left behind with a half-hearted lie.
vi. Shirabu
Your fingers hover over the blackened screen, the train’s lights reflecting off of it.
You are hesitating.
You are reluctant.
It’s for good reason, you tell yourself, fingers clenching around the device, turning it over so you can’t see the screen.
But in the next moment, you have flipped it over again, unlocked it, and you stare at a background that only heightens your conflict.
A picture of the two of you, smiling broadly for the camera.
You still remember how it was taken, a giant cliché.
You are laughing, hard enough that he has to support you, because you are bent over, wheezing.
“Shirabu-san.”
There’s a lilt of happiness in his voice, a tad more than usual, and you look up, only for the camera shutter to go off.
You don’t bother to make him delete it, because your good mood remains – and also because you like the way he tries to preserve memories like this, sometimes.
His arm around your waist is warm, as is the sun reflecting off your smiles in the photo.
You bite your lip as you stare at the screen, chest aching horribly.
You open your messaging app, stare at the latest message, and once again, exit without sending anything new.
Your home screen wallpaper mocks you, and you have a sudden urge to change it.
Don’t, a voice inside you whispers, but you shake it off and open your photo gallery.
It is so difficult to pick something, anything, but you settle on a patch of blooming flowers, lit by the setting sun, even though you are breaking apart.
You know better.
This is the way to redemption, and to salvaging what’s left of your…friendship.
You are better, smarter than this. You should know, you should know that the only way to get over this is to leave it alone.
You do know.
And that is why you slip your phone into your bag, watching the flashing lights for the upcoming train station instead of trying to reply, because you only make things worse when you speak.
vii. Meeting
Two figures headed in the same direction, paths bifurcating at the casino. They almost don’t notice each other, both caught up in their own world, in their haze of distraction.
Neither of them really knows who notices the other first – but they agree that it started with the fireworks.
The fireworks, that go off in the amusement park at eight thirty, a light show that most people stop to stare at.
It is in the aftermath – or perhaps, even the middle of it, the glow lighting the faces beneath – that they stop, and their eyes meet.
They promptly look away, neither of them acknowledging the other, still half in a daze, still hoping, dreaming, on their own.
But the fireworks die away, and the world begins moving again, except for the two stationary figures, both waiting for the other to make the first move.
One of them does move – a shake of his head, a wry smile – turning away. Everything he does screams his belief that he is seeing things, and he will not entertain it.
And the other – it is his turn, his move, and he takes the first step.
The first lifting and dropping of a foot, and then another, and another, before his shoes are clicking rapidly across the concrete, catching up, and a hand placed on a shoulder.
A whisper of a name – in disbelief, questioning, and the one who turned away first – he blinks slowly, as if waking from a dream.
A curious, wondrous smile lifts his lips, and he greets the other in a sighing cadence.
Hello.
viii. Catching up
They go back to his room, because it is smaller, quieter, more private.
Small pleasantries, an exchange of information – what they are doing on a small island, so far from their homeland, their jobs, their lives, what they have done since graduation and losing touch.
Neither of them speak about the golden band resting on the table, or the silver one hanging around a neck. It’s as if they recognise the pain in each other’s eyes, and there is a mutual understanding, though they have never agreed on much, before.
The hour is late when their mouths are dry, and one of them stands to leave. The other is just as quick to catch his sleeve, gently asking him to stay.
It’s late. I’ll lend you some clothes.
It is odd, but he has no reason to refuse, not when he doesn’t have to work the next day. And maybe…
Maybe he does need some form of companionship, if only in the form of someone he used to dislike so much.
Maybe, it would be alright to stay.
(Just for a bit.)
ix. Quiet moments
The bed is large enough for the two of them, and they lie on opposing sides, facing away from each other.
But sleep does not come easily, and in the midst of tossing and turning, they begin to bicker.
It’s almost nostalgic, the jibes and insults thrown, but neither let up, and they end up poking and kicking each other under the blanket as if they were still in high school.
Nobody knows who won, but lying there in the relative quiet, with the air-conditioning as white noise, it’s almost easy to pretend that they are both okay.
But silence is a tricky thing, like the molten glass that glassblowers mould.
Who are you engaged to?
Is that a promise ring?
They laugh at their overlapping words. They’ve always been too similar, in some ways.
x. Secrets
They argue over who would start first, until one caves.
It was Satori.
Was?
I don’t know, but I don’t think we are together any more. Not in that sense, at least.
A low hum, understanding, accepting.
Non-judgemental.
You’re right, you know.
What?
This. It’s sort of like a promise ring. He lets the ring fall from jointless fingers; it clinks against the chain, falling silent against the bed. But promises are always broken.
A beat of silence – he takes that as agreement, but then the other begins speaking again.
Not true. Promises are what you make them.
He snorts. Maybe so, but not this one. This was always in a limbo and ready to be broken.
Oh?
Yeah.
A lengthier silence, and he stares at the ceiling, waiting, waiting, for him to ask.
He doesn’t.
You’re not curious? He can’t help himself – he can’t imagine anyone not wanting to pry. About who the other ring belongs to?
You’d tell me, if you wanted. His voice is so trusting – it’s not fair.
(It’s plain to see who has matured more over the years.)
(He doesn’t like it.)
Tsutomu has the other ring.
It feels like an admission, a soft, whispered thing, yet also a loud, shouted thing – a gunshot in the darkness, a secret that he doesn’t want to bring to light.
And?
He huffs. I thought you weren’t going to pry.
I know you, and you want to tell me. You just need a push.
He gets a kick for his troubles, but hears a sigh, and eventually, the other starts talking.
xi. Moving on
The funny thing about people, is how they pretend they can survive alone, when really, they need support at least some of the time.
That is how humans work, as does the beautiful-ridiculous thing called companionship.
They talk through the night, till the sun peeks through the bottom of the curtains, and that is when they decide to sleep.
When they wake, another day is gone, but the burden on their hearts has eased.
It feels like they are going to go back to pretending they hate each other, go back to pretending the other doesn’t exist.
But one of them makes a tiny offer, and the other accepts, and then they are wandering the mall until closing time, trading banter as they walk back along the bridge.
It’s almost friendly, and they trade numbers, a teasing parting of ways.
Call me.
You sound desperate.
I mean when you need to talk, brat.
Hmm, no.
You are ridiculous.
You are absurd.
Pain-in-the-ass.
Naggy.
I’m trying to be nice.
Don’t.
Fine.
Fine.
They turn away, but glance back, and burst out laughing.
They are broken, and patched up, their repairs messy but feasible for the moment.
They are flightless birds, but they have learnt to walk, and maybe, run.
They smile at each other a last time and part ways, hearts lighter than they were before.
Romance is a lie, but you can find companionship in the oddest places.
#semi eita#shirabu kenjirou#semishira#past tensemi#past shiragoshi#my writing#well this isn't half as angsty as i thought it would be#i suppose that's good#haikyuu!!
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5 Fast Manifestation Techniques That Really Work
Source: 5 Fast Manifestation Techniques That Really Work on Attraction Works
How Does Manifestation Work?
In this article, we uncover some of the fastest manifestation techniques around. But in order to use any number of manifestation techniques, you must first understand the law of attraction which is based on the premise that your thoughts, feelings and beliefs create your physical reality.
So, if you focus on creating positive thoughts about some particular subject and amplify those thoughts with strong feelings, you will manifest positive things into your life.
You may have also read about vibrational frequency. The reason this is important is because everything has a vibrational frequency. Molecules in gas vibrate at a higher frequency than solids and so on.
The law of attraction stipulates that two objects vibrating at the same frequency (i.e are resonating together), attract each other.
Because our thoughts also vibrate, it means we can attract other things that vibrate at a similar frequency. In other words; positive thoughts attract positive experiences and likewise, negative thoughts attract negative experiences.
Bear in mind it's not our thoughts alone but our entire being that needs to be aligned in order to attract those things we desire in life. We need to be your highest self, achieve a higher vibration
How to Use The Fastest Manifestation Techniques
You need to focus on what you desire and be consistent. At the same time, don't make the mistake of thinking you're going to simply attract your desires into your life without having to take action.
What energy you put out into the universe, is the energy you're going to get in return. So if you want to attract positive energy from the universe, you can start off by being grateful for all the things you already have.
You can't expect to achieve greater things from the universe if you're unable to start off from a place of gratitude. Read the gratitude method below for further information.
Below you will find our selection of the top 3 manifestation techniques that actually work. I'd recommend choosing just one to start off with and practice it until you become efficient with it. Then move onto the next technique.
Remember, be consistent. Practice every day until your desire manifests itself into physical reality.
Step 1: Choose What You Want To Manifest In Life
Take a few moments to really consider what you'd like to bring into your life. Be specific. Also, think about timescales while being realistic.
For example, if you wanted to get a new job within a day, ask yourself if it's realistic given the time frame. Nothing just lands in your lap, so ask if you are able to implement the actions required to get a job in 24 hours.
Step 2: Be Consistent
The important thing is that you have to be patient and appreciate things take time to manifest. You need to be realistic with time frames. For instance you cannot expect to have your dream job land in you lap in a week's time.
Whichever method you choose to implement, you must be consistent with it. Plan your week out so that you implement your chosen method into your daily routine. Then keep at it! But be patient.
Fast Manifestation Technique 1: Gratitude
Of all the techniques, this is probably the easiest and quickest to put into action. Remember, if you want to create a truly desirable reality, you need to use positive thinking. Being grateful will help attract bigger things into your life.
One of the best ways to do this is to keep a gratitude journal. This will help you become more aware of the abundance that's available to you.
All you have to do is take a few minutes out of your day and write down 5 things you're grateful to have experienced that day. It might be easiest to reflect on the day's events just before getting into bed.
If you hate certain aspects of your life, you need to also develop gratitude for them too otherwise that hate will block better things being attracted into your life. So for instance, if you hate your financial situation, you must learn to be grateful for the money you already have first.
Fast Manifestation Technique 2: Subconscious Reprogramming
Your conscious mind is whatever you're aware of in the moment. It's what you're focused on. This includes thoughts and sensations. For instance, if you are trying to solve a math puzzle, you're using your conscious mind to work on the equations. Your willpower also resides within the conscious mind.
But this part of the mind pales into insignificance when compared to the subconscious. Your subconscious mind is the reservoir of all of your experiences to date. It remembers patterns, forms associations and is the force behind your beliefs, attitudes and behaviours.
You will inevitably develop bad habits and limiting beliefs that are directly opposite to what you want to manifest in life.
You need to therefore rewrite these unhelpful thought patterns and beliefs by reprogramming your subconscious mind and replace them with more helpful ways of thinking which in turn will help you achieve bigger things in your life.
So how do you do this?
You can use hypnosis to guide you into a relaxing hypnotic state and listen to pre-prepared affirmations. When hypnotised, you can access the subconscious mind and bypass the critical faculty. This is incredibly effective.
Another way of achieving this is utilising subliminal suggestions. This is achieved when affirmations are 'hidden' in an audio recording which only the subconscious will notice.
It's completely safe and you can use this anywhere you want (although probably best not to listen to any relaxing recording if you need to concentrate on driving or operating machinery!)
Subliminal Guru have a vast collection of subliminal recordings that range from health and fitness to personal power. Their subliminal recordings are very affordable and sometimes they run offers. At the time of writing this they were running 50% off all the products. Definitely worth checking out!
Fast Manifestation Technique 3: The 555 Method
People have been going nuts about this method. It sounds interesting, but what exactly is it?
Simply put the 555 method utilises affirmations in a structured way. It helps you remain focused on your intentions while providing a very simple to follow process of repetition.
Remember the subconscious learns through repetition and you need to retrain your subconscious. You also need to align with the frequency of your intentions.
And above all, have a positive mindset.
Here are the steps:
Choose a single desire you wish to manifest. Be specific. Ask yourself how you would like your life to look in 5 days' time. Think about what you would need to change to achieve this.
Get a pen and write this one affirmation down 55 times on a piece of paper.
Repeat this for 5 days in a row.
Get the full 555 Manifestation guide here.
Fast Manifestation Technique 4: Vision boards
People who are particularly visual are going to enjoy this method. It's a fun and creative way to help you focus on the things you want to manifest into your life. You can have a lot of fun doing this.
You can either build your vision board (also referred to as a dream board) using your computer or phone or do it the old fashioned way where you simply cut out pictures and quotes from books and magazines and stick them on a board.
You will need to spend some time collecting together pictures and quotes of all the things you want to bring into your life.
These can be things such as a new relationship, financial stability, a new house, a new car, holidays in beautiful resorts. You're only limited by your imagination.
Once you've completed your vision board / dream board, place it somewhere where you'll be able to see it multiple times throughout the day to ensure you regularly bring your focus back to your desires, thus communicating with your conscious and subconscious.
You can even take a photo of it using your phone and save it as your wallpaper.
Remember, the subconscious learns through repetition and repeated exposure helps communicate to the subconscious all the things you desire and that's where the manifestation happens.
Remember to be patient. Some things take longer to manifest than others. Just ensure you spend a few moments each day to look at your vision board.
Your vision board helps you focus on the positive thoughts while eliminating negative ones. You can only grow in one direction so be sure to make your goals desirable and attractive!
Fast Manifestation Technique 5: Powerful Affirmations
You either bring positive or negative energy into your life. Given the choice, which one would you choose?
A silly question I know, but this comes back to me harping on about just how important it is to focus on those helpful thoughts and feelings. This is how you achieve a higher vibrational state, a higher self if you will.
A lower vibrational state is achieved by focusing on negative thoughts and feelings such as guilt, shame, anger, frustration, self hate and so on. We want to create a powerful vibrational shift.
How we think and feel about ourselves is incredibly important. So be sure to envision your higher self when you construct your power affirmations and spend time meditating or visualising yourself in each scenario.
Power affirmations are simple statements that are positive and declare a specific goal or objective as if they've already happened.
So, be sure to spend a few moments really considering what your dream life looks like. Think about a typical day, the people you're around, your financial situation, the career you're pursuing.
Positive affirmations are a very effective way to communicate with your subconscious because you are utilising the power of repetition.
Here are a few important factors to consider when writing down your positive affirmations:
Begin with the words "I am".
State your affirmation confidently.
State your affirmation as if it's already happening. Use the present tense. There's a big difference between saying "I will be confident" and "I am confident" or "I will be financially secure" and "I am financially secure".
Be clear and concise.
Be specific.
Inject a feeling word (emotion) into the sentence.
Say them out loud every day.
Carrying out the above daily routine takes conscious effort. You can of course utilise subliminal affirmations where messages are hidden within audio recordings typically during a guided meditation or relaxation.
Because they are subliminal affirmations, your conscious mind doesn't pick up on them, only your subconscious which makes this a very powerful method to employ in your daily routine.
And there we have it! If you found this article helpful, do feel free to share it!
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What’s the Best Advice You’ve Ever Received?
All of us are where we are today partly because of our own efforts and partly because of the advice, guidance, influence and inspiration provided by others. At Voyage we have the good fortune of connecting with so many of the city’s hidden gems – from entrepreneurs and creatives to athletes, researchers and more. We asked them a simple, but important question: what is the best advice, personal or professional, that you’ve ever received?
Taylor Andrews-Model & Personal Trainer
Stay grounded and level headed. Never act as if you are above another or too good for something. At the end of the day, we are all equals. “Be okay with being uncomfortable. It is the perfect place to be in order to push yourself to the next level. Comfort zones must be broken.
jetsetmag.com/model-search/2019/taylor-andrews
Jorge Diaz – Portrait Photographer
Don’t compare yourself to others you’ll end up either depressed or arrogant. Always strive to be a better you.
@TheJorgeDiaz
JorgeDiaz.Photos
twitter.com/JorgeDiaz1361
Dr. Ellen Turner-dermatologist and wellness physician
If you are not getting excellent clinical outcomes for your patients using the traditional bag of medicine tricks, get a bigger bag, and dig deeper. Go back to the patient’s gut. Look to see if he/she has an issue with the gut. Fixing the gut will typically fix the problem, dermatological or otherwise.”
DermOfficeDallas.com
instagram.com/drellenturner
Chris Gabriel- Upcoming Model
We shouldn’t allow ourselves to get so hung up on our future goals, that we miss the beauty that can be found in our present circumstances; Listen It is only greener on the other side because you haven’t looked around.
instagram.com/__chrisgabriel?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=dg2w1zwlthri
facebook.com/chris.gabriel.98
Eric Anthony, Owner/Photographer 4 E’s Photography
A successful man builds a firm foundation with the bricks other people throw at him. Put your trust in GOD not man.
4esphotography.com
facebook.com/4Esphotography
instagram.com/4_esphotography
twitter.com/4EsPhotography
Courtney Stensland- the creative junkie, Dallas born and Dallas raised
When asked the best advice I’ve been given, it came to mind instantly. The advice is so simple, yet these words are so impactful and can truly change your outlook on life. Since I was little, my mom always told me, “Think positive. Be positive.” It wasn’t until I got older, I truly started to see these words play out in my everyday life. I realized that everything in a life is a lesson or a blessin’, as I always say! Sometimes, things are thrown your way to teach you something: to become stronger, a better friend, a better family member, or a better coworker … the list goes on. I look at everything as an opportunity—an opportunity to grow and develop, to enjoy everything, to be present, and to live in the moment. When you think positive, your energy is infectious! Your positivity radiates off of you to those you surround yourself with, or even to strangers. In order to be happy, I know I have to live every day with intention and a positive mindset—positive that we are designed to be perfectly imperfect, positive that everything happens for a reason, positive that every day is a good day (there is always something to be thankful for), positive that we are doing our best, positive that being vulnerable is important in life, positive that a smile can make a difference, and positive that if we think this way, positive things will happen! I try to live everyday in the words of Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” In other words, you never know who needs you or who you are impacting. Good energy is contagious!
@stensinthecity
Pam Panitchavong – Hospitality & Travel blogger
The best advice/quote I live by are these two:
Personal: Money can be earned but time cannot.
Professional: A rich person can turn poor but a hard working person can never be poor.
@pamms_p
Wendy Ike- content creator and fashion/ lifestyle blogger
Best advice:Don’t box yourself in no matter what people say about you or what you say about yourself. Always be open, flexible and adaptable. That way you are not limited and your possibilities are endless.
instagram.com/wendymakss
Charles Brakes III – Director & Designer
The best piece of advice that I received was that life is like a bank. You can only take out what you put into it. $5 worth of work can only give you $5 worth of results. It’s something that I constantly remind myself of to ensure that I’m always giving the most I can and the best I can.
ShopCB3.com
@C_BThree
Jaida Brinkley – Content Creator
Your path in life was created for you and only you”, I have a love hate relationship with social media. I love the ability to share our personal experiences whether personal or professional. We get to connect with people all over the world so much easier now than in the past. However, I also think it can fuel a sense of competition and unhealthy comparison. In the past, comparison halted me from personal growth because I was too busy looking at what everyone else was doing. Until someone had to remind me that my path is created just for me. It doesn’t look like everyone else’s so stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and focus on where your going. Be thankful for the little victories because it all leads to a bigger picture and cheer on those around you. Shining a light on others doesn’t dim your light because your purpose is specifically for you!
buildandbloom.co/sisterxsister
Ericka Ruz Health Nutrition Coach Trainer
Take care of your health. Being healthy is not only about eating healthy foods, but also taking care of your mental health, your habits, your actions, and your thoughts.
@simplesweetsbyericka
Olive Trammell and Bianca Carrington-Photographers for Olive Bee Photography
This couldn’t be more true/relevant as we are pursuing our dream as photographers. This passion of ours is worth all the hard work plus more. We just love what we do so much.
instagram.com/olivebeephotographytx?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=1i02ghh5uhy7e
facebook.com/olivebeephotographytx/
Dave and Kate – Indie Musicians & Travel Vloggers
Victoria Vidana
To paraphrase the best advice we’e ever received we would say: Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. It’s ok to study and learn from someone’s successes, failures or ambition, but comparison can quickly become a poison. If we compare our level of success or our platform to someone else’s we’re fighting a losing battle and ignoring the uniqueness of our own journey. This advice has proven valuable to us as creatives, professionals and even in our marriage. We avoid comparison.
@wearedaveandkate
youtube.com/channel/UCmSh0pCZZZEDfrj8M9aq9OQ?view_as=subscriber
wearedaveandkate.com
Shakeeta Thomas-Lifestyle Blogger
I have always been a lover and a giver and sometimes to my own detriment. With that being said, the best advice that I’ve received is “you cannot want anything for someone more than they want it for themselves”. It helped me to stop giving parts of myself away to people who were unable to receive it or only interested in taking.
instagram.com/shakeetaandreita
shakeetaandreita.com
Alex H. – Engineer, artist, and trouble maker
Best advice…”Work hard at everything that you do, but never bust your ass for anybody but yourself.”
80sixeddesign.com
Phoenix Valentine- Dallas Model and Business Major
Best advice I received is to invest in myself when no-one else will.
The post What’s the Best Advice You’ve Ever Received? appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.
source http://voyagedallas.com/2019/04/22/whats-best-advice-youve-ever-received/
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Should you go to dental school?
Hello, aspiring dentists! If you’re reading this, you’re probably asking yourself if going to dental school is #WORTHIT.
“What does it take to get in?”
“How stressful is it?” (Spoiler Alert: Very.)
“And do I really want to be a broke college student all over again?”
Let’s clear up some of your ambiguity.
This guest post is from Sarah Chouman, a student at NYU School of Dentistry. You can find her dentistry adventures on Instagram HERE.
How I knew dental school was right for me
It’s definitely not for everyone, but dental school may be for you.
Some people grow up excited to see the dentist (rare, but true!) and they decide they want to be a dentist at just 10 years old. Other people, like myself, take more time before devoting themselves to a longer academic career.
I didn’t know I wanted to be a dentist until my junior year of college. I did know that whatever I chose as a career, I wanted to make people happy. I shadowed a few different health professionals from MD to PA to RN until someone suggested I shadow their dentist.
Everyone who walked out of that office had a smile on their face. And that’s what did it for me.
A smile is the first thing you notice and the last thing you remember. If you want to create something beautiful and healthy that ultimately translates into someone’s overall happiness, dental school is for you.
Pros and Cons of Going to Dental School
Going to dental school and your subsequent career as a dentist have several benefits, like:
Financial stability (eventually)
Building lifelong relationships with your patients
Contributing to people’s health and happiness
Working in a highly respected profession
The upsides and freedom of self-employment
The ability to set your own hours after starting a practice
But what about the negatives? Weighing pros and cons is important when making this type of commitment.
Potential downsides of going to dental school might be:
A massive amount of student debt (more on that below)
Studying while the rest of your friends and relatives are getting married and starting families
A huge amount of startup money to begin your practice (sometimes close to $500K)
Not having much flexibility to move once you start your practice
Doing a repetitive, physically challenging job for the rest of your adult life
A lack of employment benefits unless you provide them yourself, as a self-employed individual
How should I prepare for dental school?
The first thing you should do is figure out where you want to go. Maybe you want to stay close to family, or maybe your dream dental school is half way across the country.
Keep in mind that wherever you end up, you’re most likely going to practice there as well.
Most of your connections are made in school and your current environment, so it can be difficult to move to another state and start all over.
Everyone has to take certain science courses to help prepare them for dental school, but specific requirements can vary from school to school. That can mean taking an extra biology class or shadowing a dentist for a certain number of hours.
Something I found helpful is reaching out to admissions counselors and asking them about what you can work on to become a better candidate for their school.
Showing your interest and forming this connection can also give you a leg-up in the application process if you get invited for an interview!
Common Dental School Questions
Q:
What is the best major for dental school?
A: The best major for dental school is the best major for YOU. Your college experience should be based on exploring what you love to learn about. Whether you’re a science buff or an art-history enthusiast, do what feels right to you.
The people in admissions will appreciate that you took this time to grow as an individual, not someone you think you should be to impress them.
That being said, many people who go to dental school choose an undergraduate major in the sciences, like biology and chemistry. It’s also a good idea to take courses in the social sciences, such as psychology, as your career will involve a ton of one-on-one communication with patients.
Q:
What are the requirements for getting in?
A: Here are the basics for anyone who wants to get into dental school:
Shadow a dentist
Take all the necessary science and non-science pre-requisite classes indicated by your school of choice (here’s what the ADA recommends for most dental schools)
Get at least 3 letters of recommendation from your professors (I recommend 2 science, 1 non-science). An additional letter from your dentist is a huge plus!
Take the DAT (Dental Admissions Test)
Study hard and hope for the best!
Q:
Do I need a specific GPA?
A: The one thing I tell anyone applying to dental school not to do is go on Student Doctor Network. There is nothing more discouraging than comparing yourself to others.
Everyone is on their own journey, which is completely separate and distinct from yours. If someone on SDN says they got into their top dental school with a 3.5 GPA, someone else with the same GPA may not even get an interview.
Your dental school application should be unique, because you are unique! The activities you enjoy, the topics you care about, and how you spend your free time makes up *insert name here*.
Getting into dental school is not based solely on GPA, it is a holistic process. Be confident and proud of your own accomplishments. That is what will set you apart from the crowd.
Q:
How long is dental school?
A: Dental school is typically four years. However, there are some accelerated programs that are three years long.
There are also some schools that have affiliate programs with undergraduate colleges. In this case, you complete your undergraduate education in 3 years. If you do well enough academically, you’ll be invited for an interview to the affiliate dental school.
After you graduate from dental school and take all the exams required to become a licensed practitioner, you are officially a general dentist.
There is one caveat; in some states, you are not allowed to practice until you complete a one-year general practice residency (GPD). If you want to go into a specialty instead, such as orthodontics or periodontics, those residencies are typically another three years after dental school.
Q:
How much does dental school cost?
A: It’s expensive. And it’s not going to get any cheaper. The average dental student graduates with about $300,000 worth of debt. If you live in an expensive city like New York, it may be even higher. If you decide to go into a specialty, it will be much higher.
You have to really, really love dentistry if you are willing to put yourself in that kind of debt. No one wants to wake up to work everyday to pay off hundreds of thousands of dollars of loans for a job they don’t even enjoy. It’s a recipe for disaster.
Student Loan Hero gives a more detailed breakdown of the average costs you may incur as a dentist (plus what you might expect to make once you start). They estimate it will take about eight years out of dental school to make back what you owe for attending.
Take the time to reach out to a dentist or someone already in dental school about their experiences. Shadow as much as you can and ask a lot of questions. This is a huge commitment and an even bigger financial investment. Make sure this is right for you!
There are some student loan forgiveness programs for dentists, but they often require you to move to a rural area and work for much less than you might otherwise.
Q:
How hard is dental school?
A: People see dentists more often than they see their primary care physicians. This means that we are often the first to recognize something that may seem problematic. We not only learn about teeth and oral health, but also about physiology and overall health and how to recognize and prevent conditions early on.
The rigorous coursework combined with all the different dental and surgical procedures we learn in lab makes dental school challenging.
One thing that helps me is studying with a group of my friends. We bounce information off each other, create mnemonics, and help each other understand different concepts (we also cry together…but I digress).
Being with your friends makes you realize that you’re not in this alone. You’re surrounded by people that want to help you and you will all make it through together.
Pictured below: Me, trying to breathe and practice self-care when everything I’ve read for months has to do with teeth.
View this post on Instagram
📕📰📚 Sometimes I get really frustrated in school because I feel like I never have time to read something other than dentistry-related. I’m looking for a new cool podcast to listen to, a documentary to watch, or a book to read during the little time I have left on holiday. I would love to hear your suggestions! Whether it’s philosophy, history, or your favorite author/poet, please DM or comment below💕🙏🏼 . . . “Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.”
A post shared by Sarah Chouman (@doctor.soos) on Dec 29, 2018 at 10:18am PST
Q:
Can you go to dental school with a dental hygiene degree?
A: Believe it or not, getting an undergrad degree in dental hygiene isn’t a great idea for most people. The problem tends to be that you’ll repeat a lot of course content between college and dental school, but in your undergraduate major, you won’t have enough time to take the additional courses a dental school would often require.
If you want to be a dental hygienist, major in dental hygiene. If you’d rather be a dentist, focus on science, social sciences, and electives that you’d enjoy, then go through the specific dental science in your post-graduate program.
Key Takeaways: Should you go to dental school?
It comes down to one thing: commitment. If you are absolutely committed to this field, everything else is secondary.
You will think of loans as a financial investment rather than a financial burden. You will do well in school not because you have to get high grades, but because you want to learn.
Depending on how much you are willing to commit yourself, your road to DDS or DMD will be gratifying and fulfilling.
Good luck on your journey!
Want to connect with Sarah? Find her on Instagram at @doctor.soos.
The post Should you go to dental school? appeared first on Ask the Dentist.
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One Book I Wish I Had Read 10 Years Ago (and Why Alyssa Milano Happily Wrote the Foreword)
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/one-book-i-wish-i-had-read-10-years-ago-and-why-alyssa-milano-happily-wrote-the-foreword/
One Book I Wish I Had Read 10 Years Ago (and Why Alyssa Milano Happily Wrote the Foreword)
youtube
The biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to overcome is your own mind. Overcome that, and you can overcome anything!
Of course, that’s way easier to say than to do, especially when life as you know it starts falling apart…
Just over a decade ago, Marc and I had to deal with several painful life changes. These included:
Losing my brother to suicide
Losing a mutual best friend to death
Financial unrest following a breadwinning employment layoff
Breaking ties with a loved one who repeatedly betrayed us
It all happened so quickly, too! The pain of those experiences compounded on one another in quick succession, knocking us down and driving the wind right out of our sails for a couple years straight. At times, we felt like we had absolutely no strength left to push onward.
But, as we navigated our new reality one step at a time—facing the pain instead of distracting ourselves from it—we stumbled across morsels of strength and wisdom that we began to collect and build on. We gradually learned how to catch ourselves in negative states of emotional turmoil, so we could overcome the emotions that had once overcome us. All details aside, we pushed ourselves as hard as we could to take one tiny step every day—one journal entry, one 10-minute workout, one honest conversation, and so forth. It wasn’t easy, but the tiny steps were manageable and we gradually grew stronger.
And with each passing day, we saw more beauty hidden in life’s most painful changes.
You see, the most painful changes in life—even deaths—are simply endings, which are all a necessary part of living. And all endings are necessary for beauty, too—otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty—they are reminders that we need to be aware of this beautiful person or situation, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Every ending is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone or something special, this ending, like every loss, is a moment of reinvention. Although heartbreaking, it forces us to reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And, of course, every ending is an opportunity to celebrate the beautiful, ever-changing journey we’re on, and to be grateful for what it has showed us and taught us along the way.
Getting to this point of understanding—changing your perspective—again, is far from easy. But it’s honestly worth every bit of effort you can muster, no matter how many times you need to remind yourself.
We all need a reminder sometimes…
Because we so easily forget how important it is to face the unexpected losses and painful life changes we’re going to encounter no matter how much we try to avoid them—to face down our pain and negative thinking and leverage it to get back up and take the next step. Yes, we need to be reminded to actually get up and DO the hard things we need to do to be happy again. The things that frighten us. The things others can’t do for us. The things that make the difference between existing and living—between knowing the path and walking the path—between a life of empty promises and defeat and one filled with renewed happiness, possibility and peace.
And that’s why Marc and I wrote our brand new book, Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs, to be that daily reminder for anyone who’s struggling to change their situation for the better. It’s a dynamic and actionable guide for taking life day by day and focusing on the little things that make a lasting difference. This book represents the culmination of hundreds of hours of work with course students, live event attendees, and lots of one-on-one work with each other, too…
And, here’s why Alyssa Milano happily wrote the foreword…
“With the help of Marc and Angel’s hard-won insights, we can always find a way to pick ourselves up, reframe our mindset to see the bigger picture, and take that first step back to happy.” —Alyssa Milano
Yes, that’s a quick snippet of what Alyssa Milano had to say in the foreword to Getting Back to Happy.
But, why did a famous, renowned actress and activist like her decide to write this foreword for a couple of coaches and authors like us?
Perhaps another slightly longer snippet from her foreword will clarify things:
“In my own journey to uncover who I truly am, and to find—and use—my voice for what I believe in, I’ve been lucky enough to meet many kindred spirits along the way, many of them online. Marc and Angel are among the fellow travelers I’ve come to value the most. Their honesty and clarity, and the generous way they share what they’ve learned for themselves, are gifts I’ve truly cherished. Sharing their ideas with others online is a way of paying forward what I’ve learned, in the hope that others will gain some insight and strength, and in turn spread the word even further. The pain of self-doubt and the isolation of modern life can make us feel like we’re the only ones struggling, while everyone else is picture-perfect. That’s why it’s so important to share not just our triumphs but also our setbacks, to “show our work” when we’re in the thick of tough times. Marc and Angel do just that—keeping it real, and creating a community of kindred spirits that gathers together in strength, growing and learning along the way.” —Alyssa Milano
In life our insights are often hard won, as Alyssa points out. And, ten years ago, when Marc and I were desperately struggling after losing two loved ones back-to-back to suicide and illness, we decided to be transparent about our story, our struggles, and our depression. And we also decided to share the tiny daily steps we were taking to cope, to heal, to grow, and ultimately to get our lives back on track. We shared all of this online via Facebook, Twitter, email, and our blog, and Alyssa was one of the people who resonated with our story and followed our journey right from the get-go… because she found personal value in what we were sharing.
And then, she continued to follow our work over the years that followed, primarily because we didn’t stop sharing what we were learning.
As Marc and I have learned—and as you’ve probably encountered too—there’s little doubt that our most important insights come directly from our hardest challenges. But we can also take these insights and pay them forward, sharing them with others in hopes that our insights might shine a light for other people who are struggling down their own paths.
The opportunity to pay forward what we’ve learned inspires us continuously in our work, whether it’s through our blog, our renowned Getting Back to Happy course and coaching, our annual Think Better Live Better conference, our books, and everything else we do. And, it’s also one of the biggest reasons we wrote our newest book, also titled Getting Back to Happy, as you know. Everything we’ve learned in the past decade of coaching and teaching others about how to build a happier life is distilled into this book.
Never before have we put it all in one place like this in such an accessible way.
In fact, here’s a sneak peek of the table of contents, so you can get an idea of what Getting Back to Happy has to offer:
Rituals: Practice Daily What You Want To Manifest Regularly
Mindfulness: Ease Out of Busyness and Into Awareness
Letting Go: Surrender Attachments that Are Holding You Back
Self-Love: Commit to Putting Yourself on Your To-Do List
Mornings & Evenings: Establish Control with a Thoughtful Beginning and End to Every Day
Perspective: Find Beauty in Life’s Difficulties
Situation: Embrace Change and Take Action When Necessary
Motivation: Harness Your Inner Drive and Keep Moving Forward
Relationships: Foster the Loving Connections You Deserve
Happiness: Nurture an Inner and Outer Environment that Fulfills You
When we reached out to Alyssa and shared the idea and outline of the book with her, she immediately said “yes” to writing the foreword. Specifically, she said she was “honored to be given the chance to continue paying it forward.”
We’re sincerely excited…
Getting Back to Happy is honestly the book we’ve wanted to write ever since we started on this journey, one that began with our personal struggle and evolved into a multifaceted coaching practice that has positively impacted the lives of thousands of amazing people, just like Alyssa.
I sincerely wish I could have read it a decade ago. In many ways, it would have saved me from myself. It absolutely would have saved me from intense periods of darkness that were born primarily from my subconscious attempt to take the easy way out of the painful realities I faced.
So yes, this is a big deal, and we’re excited to share Getting Back to Happy with YOU (which will be officially released this Tuesday). In fact, we’re so excited that we’re also giving away over $50 in bonuses to the first 2,000 blog readers that pre-order the book (including One Day at a Time, our 60-day workbook for implementing rewarding, lifelong rituals, and Daily Reminders We Need to Read Every Morning, with prompts that guide you to start each day in a mindful state, so you can focus and get the right things done). You’ll want to act quickly, though, because we already have 1,907 pre-orders booked as of this morning. 🙂
Order Getting Back to Happy and get your free bonuses right now (use the form here to submit your receipt).
Also, if you haven’t done so already, check out this 2-minute video (the official book trailer):
[embedded content]
Above all, what you need to remember is that it’s ultimately your choice…
Yes, it’s your choice.
YOUR choice.
You are choosing right now.
And if you’re choosing…
to complain…
to blame…
to be stuck in the past…
to act like a victim…
to feel insecure…
to feel anger…
to feel hate…
to be naïve…
to ignore your intuition…
to ignore good advice…
to give up…
…then it’s time to choose differently.
But, let me also remind you that you are not alone. Generations of human beings in your family tree have chosen. Human beings around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time or another. And we stand behind you now whispering:
Choose to let go.
Choose to be present.
Choose to be positive.
Choose to forgive yourself.
Choose to forgive others.
Choose to see your value.
Choose to see the possibilities.
Choose to find meaning.
Choose to prove you’re not a victim.
Choose to do the hard things you need to do, so you can take a step forward… and then pay it forward. (We show HOW in Getting Back to Happy.)
And of course, if there’s anything else Marc and I can do to assist you, please don’t hesitate to leave a reply below.
PS. Pre-ordering the new book on or before the official release on Tuesday helps us out tremendously. We’d greatly appreciate YOUR SUPPORT today.
PPS. I’m also excited (and pretty darn nervous) to announce that Marc and I will be on NBC’s Megyn Kelly TODAY show Monday, May 21 to support Getting Back to Happy’s release. Tune in if you’re able…
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Text
One Book I Wish I Had Read 10 Years Ago (and Why Alyssa Milano Happily Wrote the Foreword)
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/one-book-i-wish-i-had-read-10-years-ago-and-why-alyssa-milano-happily-wrote-the-foreword/
One Book I Wish I Had Read 10 Years Ago (and Why Alyssa Milano Happily Wrote the Foreword)
youtube
The biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to overcome is your own mind. Overcome that, and you can overcome anything!
Of course, that’s way easier to say than to do, especially when life as you know it starts falling apart…
Just over a decade ago, Marc and I had to deal with several painful life changes. These included:
Losing my brother to suicide
Losing a mutual best friend to death
Financial unrest following a breadwinning employment layoff
Breaking ties with a loved one who repeatedly betrayed us
It all happened so quickly, too! The pain of those experiences compounded on one another in quick succession, knocking us down and driving the wind right out of our sails for a couple years straight. At times, we felt like we had absolutely no strength left to push onward.
But, as we navigated our new reality one step at a time—facing the pain instead of distracting ourselves from it—we stumbled across morsels of strength and wisdom that we began to collect and build on. We gradually learned how to catch ourselves in negative states of emotional turmoil, so we could overcome the emotions that had once overcome us. All details aside, we pushed ourselves as hard as we could to take one tiny step every day—one journal entry, one 10-minute workout, one honest conversation, and so forth. It wasn’t easy, but the tiny steps were manageable and we gradually grew stronger.
And with each passing day, we saw more beauty hidden in life’s most painful changes.
You see, the most painful changes in life—even deaths—are simply endings, which are all a necessary part of living. And all endings are necessary for beauty, too—otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty—they are reminders that we need to be aware of this beautiful person or situation, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Every ending is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone or something special, this ending, like every loss, is a moment of reinvention. Although heartbreaking, it forces us to reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And, of course, every ending is an opportunity to celebrate the beautiful, ever-changing journey we’re on, and to be grateful for what it has showed us and taught us along the way.
Getting to this point of understanding—changing your perspective—again, is far from easy. But it’s honestly worth every bit of effort you can muster, no matter how many times you need to remind yourself.
We all need a reminder sometimes…
Because we so easily forget how important it is to face the unexpected losses and painful life changes we’re going to encounter no matter how much we try to avoid them—to face down our pain and negative thinking and leverage it to get back up and take the next step. Yes, we need to be reminded to actually get up and DO the hard things we need to do to be happy again. The things that frighten us. The things others can’t do for us. The things that make the difference between existing and living—between knowing the path and walking the path—between a life of empty promises and defeat and one filled with renewed happiness, possibility and peace.
And that’s why Marc and I wrote our brand new book, Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs, to be that daily reminder for anyone who’s struggling to change their situation for the better. It’s a dynamic and actionable guide for taking life day by day and focusing on the little things that make a lasting difference. This book represents the culmination of hundreds of hours of work with course students, live event attendees, and lots of one-on-one work with each other, too…
And, here’s why Alyssa Milano happily wrote the foreword…
“With the help of Marc and Angel’s hard-won insights, we can always find a way to pick ourselves up, reframe our mindset to see the bigger picture, and take that first step back to happy.” —Alyssa Milano
Yes, that’s a quick snippet of what Alyssa Milano had to say in the foreword to Getting Back to Happy.
But, why did a famous, renowned actress and activist like her decide to write this foreword for a couple of coaches and authors like us?
Perhaps another slightly longer snippet from her foreword will clarify things:
“In my own journey to uncover who I truly am, and to find—and use—my voice for what I believe in, I’ve been lucky enough to meet many kindred spirits along the way, many of them online. Marc and Angel are among the fellow travelers I’ve come to value the most. Their honesty and clarity, and the generous way they share what they’ve learned for themselves, are gifts I’ve truly cherished. Sharing their ideas with others online is a way of paying forward what I’ve learned, in the hope that others will gain some insight and strength, and in turn spread the word even further. The pain of self-doubt and the isolation of modern life can make us feel like we’re the only ones struggling, while everyone else is picture-perfect. That’s why it’s so important to share not just our triumphs but also our setbacks, to “show our work” when we’re in the thick of tough times. Marc and Angel do just that—keeping it real, and creating a community of kindred spirits that gathers together in strength, growing and learning along the way.” —Alyssa Milano
In life our insights are often hard won, as Alyssa points out. And, ten years ago, when Marc and I were desperately struggling after losing two loved ones back-to-back to suicide and illness, we decided to be transparent about our story, our struggles, and our depression. And we also decided to share the tiny daily steps we were taking to cope, to heal, to grow, and ultimately to get our lives back on track. We shared all of this online via Facebook, Twitter, email, and our blog, and Alyssa was one of the people who resonated with our story and followed our journey right from the get-go… because she found personal value in what we were sharing.
And then, she continued to follow our work over the years that followed, primarily because we didn’t stop sharing what we were learning.
As Marc and I have learned—and as you’ve probably encountered too—there’s little doubt that our most important insights come directly from our hardest challenges. But we can also take these insights and pay them forward, sharing them with others in hopes that our insights might shine a light for other people who are struggling down their own paths.
The opportunity to pay forward what we’ve learned inspires us continuously in our work, whether it’s through our blog, our renowned Getting Back to Happy course and coaching, our annual Think Better Live Better conference, our books, and everything else we do. And, it’s also one of the biggest reasons we wrote our newest book, also titled Getting Back to Happy, as you know. Everything we’ve learned in the past decade of coaching and teaching others about how to build a happier life is distilled into this book.
Never before have we put it all in one place like this in such an accessible way.
In fact, here’s a sneak peek of the table of contents, so you can get an idea of what Getting Back to Happy has to offer:
Rituals: Practice Daily What You Want To Manifest Regularly
Mindfulness: Ease Out of Busyness and Into Awareness
Letting Go: Surrender Attachments that Are Holding You Back
Self-Love: Commit to Putting Yourself on Your To-Do List
Mornings & Evenings: Establish Control with a Thoughtful Beginning and End to Every Day
Perspective: Find Beauty in Life’s Difficulties
Situation: Embrace Change and Take Action When Necessary
Motivation: Harness Your Inner Drive and Keep Moving Forward
Relationships: Foster the Loving Connections You Deserve
Happiness: Nurture an Inner and Outer Environment that Fulfills You
When we reached out to Alyssa and shared the idea and outline of the book with her, she immediately said “yes” to writing the foreword. Specifically, she said she was “honored to be given the chance to continue paying it forward.”
We’re sincerely excited…
Getting Back to Happy is honestly the book we’ve wanted to write ever since we started on this journey, one that began with our personal struggle and evolved into a multifaceted coaching practice that has positively impacted the lives of thousands of amazing people, just like Alyssa.
I sincerely wish I could have read it a decade ago. In many ways, it would have saved me from myself. It absolutely would have saved me from intense periods of darkness that were born primarily from my subconscious attempt to take the easy way out of the painful realities I faced.
So yes, this is a big deal, and we’re excited to share Getting Back to Happy with YOU (which will be officially released this Tuesday). In fact, we’re so excited that we’re also giving away over $50 in bonuses to the first 2,000 blog readers that pre-order the book (including One Day at a Time, our 60-day workbook for implementing rewarding, lifelong rituals, and Daily Reminders We Need to Read Every Morning, with prompts that guide you to start each day in a mindful state, so you can focus and get the right things done). You’ll want to act quickly, though, because we already have 1,907 pre-orders booked as of this morning. 🙂
Order Getting Back to Happy and get your free bonuses right now (use the form here to submit your receipt).
Also, if you haven’t done so already, check out this 2-minute video (the official book trailer):
[embedded content]
Above all, what you need to remember is that it’s ultimately your choice…
Yes, it’s your choice.
YOUR choice.
You are choosing right now.
And if you’re choosing…
to complain…
to blame…
to be stuck in the past…
to act like a victim…
to feel insecure…
to feel anger…
to feel hate…
to be naïve…
to ignore your intuition…
to ignore good advice…
to give up…
…then it’s time to choose differently.
But, let me also remind you that you are not alone. Generations of human beings in your family tree have chosen. Human beings around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time or another. And we stand behind you now whispering:
Choose to let go.
Choose to be present.
Choose to be positive.
Choose to forgive yourself.
Choose to forgive others.
Choose to see your value.
Choose to see the possibilities.
Choose to find meaning.
Choose to prove you’re not a victim.
Choose to do the hard things you need to do, so you can take a step forward… and then pay it forward. (We show HOW in Getting Back to Happy.)
And of course, if there’s anything else Marc and I can do to assist you, please don’t hesitate to leave a reply below.
PS. Pre-ordering the new book on or before the official release on Tuesday helps us out tremendously. We’d greatly appreciate YOUR SUPPORT today.
PPS. I’m also excited (and pretty darn nervous) to announce that Marc and I will be on NBC’s Megyn Kelly TODAY show Monday, May 21 to support Getting Back to Happy’s release. Tune in if you’re able…
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