#in the midst of struggle

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[snersona]

design brainstorm dump bc im sick im the head or something

#the only thing i had to struggle w on dami was his big hair #my son he loves chemicals #tim drake #damien wayne #dinah lance #black canary #dc #sketch #snersart #the sketch for jasonburger happended in the midst of all this...so sorry #char design #art

[captainofthetidesbreath]

There's a lot to unpack and say on the topic of Jonas Spahr and guilt, blame, and responsibility with regard to Phineas, and I do want to talk about all that sometime later because it's one of the big narrative and thematic points for them both, but to muse about a particular point in all that, I think one of the big questions there for me is, "what could Spahr have done differently?"

It's not a question of if things were more ideal or if circumstances were better—it's not a question of in theory. It's not even necessarily a question of should. It's could have done differently. What different choices were materially available, and what of those choices were ones that Spahr was able to make and would have realistically and reasonably made in his situation, and what of those choices, if taken, would have actually changed the outcome?

It's a question of, given the circumstances as they existed, the context that Phineas and Spahr operate within, what they are both like as people, what actions are within their power to make, what other choices were there?

Ultimately, Spahr bears an amount of responsibility for having helped pushed Phineas into this, but so much is driven by a context larger than either of them. Just as Phineas is, Spahr is pushed into what he does by the culture of the Company, by the philosophies and ideologies of Trust society. Phineas is responsible for his choices even as he is pressured into them, and so is Spahr responsible for the choices he makes that applied that pressure but too is under a pressure that drives him toward certain choices. They are both responsible for themselves, but there's a context of systems and a long chain of events that drives them through all of this until they have very few real, meaningfully different choices to make.

In this grand examination of how much is Spahr to blame for what Phineas became, what could Spahr have done different? I genuinely think the answer is, "Truthfully? Far less than you think."

#i'm biting and growling and clawing bc I an STRUGGLING to articulate this as well as I want it to be articulated #Jonas Spahr #Phineas Thatch #Midst #Midst podcast #Midst things

[selamat-linting]

i love that when other adventuring parties are doing political games to avoid elves from gaining control on their island, laois is doing shit like this.

#im deeply deeply fascinated with the political and social power side of the dungeon #kabru is very fascinating. he's fastly growing on me #so as namari with her pov as a normal adventurer thats caught in the midst of the struggle #dunmeshi

[nyanspirals]

I'm terrible at being interested in modern politics but I found this in an old book on British history which I found quite interesting tbh. I don't have any use for this info and because it reminds me of the only communist England kinnie I know, I'm going to burden him with this lengthy fact about a british communist party which lives in my head 24/7, so do what you will with this information before I go mad lol :3

The UK had a communist party called the Communist Party of Great Britain (CPGB) which was founded in 1920 by representatives of various small socialist groups (or notably the British Socialist Party). The party had little electoral success, only having around 6,000 members. It did however had a wider impact through 'front' organisations such as the 'National Unemployed Workers' movement, as well as intellectual influence with the development of 'united front' strategies against fascism prior to 1939.

The CPGB garnered <43,000 members at the peak of the Anglo-Soviet co-operation during WWII but the party's appeal was limited by Labour hostility and the Cold War. It's pro-soviet stance on the Hungarian Uprising during 1956 rapidly lost its members and in the 1960's and 70's, it faced much competition from other left-wing groups. Splits lead to a breakaway New Communist Party in 1977 and a further creation (the Communist Party of Britain) in 1987.

Following the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, the remaining 6,300 members of the CPGB renamed themselves the 'Democratic Left', committing to a democratic structure and a pluralistic, radical stance. The Morning Star (formerly called Daily Worker) to this day remains the party's main organ.

communists nowadays cant do shit all they know is split up into a bunch of different organisations cuz they cant agree on anything and then turn into social democrats and eat hot chip and lie

#neon.txt #neon.ask #this is very interesting. thank you for sharing! disheartening to know countries like britain struggle so much to have #actual good communists in their midst

[savageday6]

wonpil is the most tender, warm-hearted, and loving man i've ever seen. listening to him play the piano just brought tears to my eyes. he suits the piano so much like i can't even put it into words... like piano chords are almost like warm hugs to me!! the kind of music that you could go home to after a long day and just cry in its embrace. i'd love to listen to him play the piano for as long as i can. and i hope he'll always find joy in making music and giving love.

#he was raised with so much love and care like you can just see it in the way he carries himself and treats his loved ones #n it's amazing that through all my heartbreaks n struggles he/day6 has always been there keeping me company through music n content n words #and everytime i feel like i need a stern reminder to myself to keep living for myself and not wallow in loneliness or yearning. they appear #2021 was a bad year for me but in the midst of it i stumbled across wonpil's healing radio n it had helped me so so so much #and i think thats the power of being in a lovely fandom of a talented and loving band. they give me so much comfort #wonpil on bbl: you must've had a long day today. and it must've been even tougher for you since it's a monday #me: CRYING MY EYES OUT............. #i really needed words of affirmation today lmao it has been such a shit day #anyway. wonpil is so great im just saying #<3

[dollotron]

watching other people stay the same or get worse while I move forward and grow is one of the greatest joys ill ever know in my life

#I also guess it depends on the context #I will never grow to understand emotional empathy or remorse which some people consider to be real growth but idc #seeing the people who used to be in my life struggle makes me happy #you deserve every ounce of suffering that comes your way and I hope you think about what you did to me as cosmic justice. your pain #and suffering in this world is my retribution #watching you flail in the midst of mania is entertaining all on its own

[sadhorsegirl]

fuck it posting moiraine playlist on main

#please enjoy my incredibly vibey and abstract playlist i finalized while very very high lol #i made it that way bc she is vibey and abstract. 2 me ❤️ #could have posted this days ago if i hadnt agonized over the inclusion of master hunter #feels like its a little aggressive and doesnt totally work #but i am a master hunter ive cured my skin nothing gets in nothing not as hard as it tries #vs the breakdown of like fuck off u think i enjoy suffering!!! #later in the song rly works for book moiraine at certain points. where u become so emotionally isolated to try and protect urself but #but rly u still care sososo much #i think her struggle for connection in the midst of all her planning is a big part of what makes moiraine such a strong character for me #like. any ability she has to repress her own emotions is p surely undercut by her own capacity for love #she cant help it! even if she struggles to connect with others and frequently faces rejection in the white tower #she still cares deeply for others #v boss of her u might say #anyways ramble basically over this playlist is also heavily impacted by new spring go read new spring sound of the summer #reserving the right to go back and edit this if the a side in the title isnt clear enough lol #moiraine damodred #wheel of time #music #Spotify

[ouchhq]

am i so hard to care about?

#i need to vent and i know u guys cant stand me because i can feel it (and certainly from the anon hate) but i think im gonna have an ulcer #if i dont put this out somewhere #SH s*icide tw !!!!! #i need some advice or opinions because i feel like im losing it #i dont understand why my friends cant care about me #i know !!! i know i seem out of touch and insane because i say this so often and the question to someone reading would come natural: maybe #it is just ur perception…. maybe u suck ass as a friend too #and i do ponder about that!!!!!! i take those possibilities into consideration i do. and i genuinely dont think i suck as a friend. i always #check in. if they seem off i ask how they feel. i ask updates on their stuff. i dont think i deserve this tbh #but especially when i am struggling they just disappear #like even when i reach out and let them know im doing bad. they clearly read my measages and choose to ignore them #these are supposed to be my best friends #these days ive been so bad. and trigger warning again #i just feel so suicidal and i have been hurting myself in the desperate attempt to cope and manage these thoughts #and i dont tell them these things #i dont share the details because 1) it is too much to dump on someone and 2) they dont show any interest even on the surface level of my #problems so i just wouldnt tell them the deeper issues #i am just in so much pain. and i also feel a lot of anger because of their behavior. i feel so so hurt by it. so many years of this going on #of them just not even acknowledging my struggles while i was in the midst of them and trying still to support them and be there for e #whatever they had going on. and getting nothing in return #i hate that i feel so angry but i do. and ive been swallowing this anger and pain for so long i feel it eating my insides #even my therapist doesnt understand why i am friends with people that dont care about me #i dont know what i should do #i want to say something #actually i already talked about this to one of them one year ago exactly and i told her all these things and she just said she didnt know #why i was ignored. and then still kept being a part of it #the thing is i am so upset and my mental health is so so so bad. i am supposed to spend new years eve with them in two days but i dont know #how i can do that feeling like this #but if i speak to them about it i think it will also ruin the mood #if someone has any thoughts or advice it would be very welcome….

[1982brucespringsteen]

time for gilmore gays posting. in a butch luke & transmasc jess situation, who lends who his copy of stone butch blues by leslie feinberg??

#gilmore girls #gilmore gays #okay hear me out: luke is a veteran he/him lesbian but has lived his entire life in such a small community that his contact with other + #queer people has been limited to his ex gfs & michel #so he mightve been secluded from the most avant garde discourse & trans liberation struggles or whatever #BUT stone butch blues was an instant classic afaik so he mightve read it when it came out #on the other hand. jess grew up in the midst of thee most influential queer spaces on the planet #so his contact to trans ppl is face to face and not through second hand accounts or books #but!! hes still a bookworm that wouldve had easy access to stone butch blues #so! who reads it first? who thinks of it after they start living together? #mine

[yourcalamity]

“it must be so nice being tall you can do so much” no one will ever hold you like you hold them and even at your smallest you were treated like you were bigger and more capable than anyone else

#sometimes i think maybe if i was a foot shorter people would see me as pathetic and weak and in need of care and comfort #and not just see this giant guy who is able to overwork himself and ignore constant pain until i end up in the er #its not like a geight discrimination thing but yknow it fucking sucks #ive noticed all my male friends who havevthe same attitude i do go through the same shit i do need comfort need help etc all under #5’7 and suddenly youre a poor little meow meow and people empathize with you #but if youre bigger people just assume you can handle more. well that means more of me can hurt too thanks #tbf though i know i personally carry myself this way as a very capable and impervious person and only recently have i really been able to #put my childhood and adolescene into a comtext where i can see just how stressful and chaotic all of it was #so if i seem like im fine or even comfortable in the midst of chaos or under circumstances any other person would be severely impacted by #yeah i could use love and support and comfort the way its offered to people who are seen as vulnerable #im still struggling severely every single day and have been for years now but im obviously going to use the survival skill of seeming fine #like i have my entire life

[beserkerjewel]

I hate to say this about people because I tend to avoid this sort of judgemental nonsense when it comes to celebrities and media (because it’s stupid), but if you’re being a weirdo about Christian being in crisis (either to sexualize him or to wail about how he’s no fun anymore), then you’re a fake fan sorry not sorry

#he's so open and honest about his struggles and yes it's scary and sad but you can't force him to shove it down the second you get sad #also the ones sexualizing him in the midst of his struggles: die #Jewel gets personal #Christian Yu

[mitamicah]

Please forgive me - I did not see the notification for your excaliburzine post tag till just now. Just posted it to the tumblr now!! Your preview looks amazing <3 <3 And now you can post the whole pieces! lol :D

That's completely okay, I posted them on a very odd time in between lots of Käärijä art x'D it is my bad taking so long to submit them :'D

Thank you so much for the information tho - I will look forward to submit the final versions as well :3

#again in the midst of all things käärijä we have merlin fanart x'D #the struggles of being a multifandom blog #just kidding it is okay #hopefully it is okay for you too #and thank you again for letting me be part of the zine <3 #rb #not mine

[captainofthetidesbreath]

me and @essektheylyss are definitely doing a GREAT job being very convincing that it's so easy to be totally normal about Phineas Thatch and Jonas Spahr's relationship and that we're absolutely succeeding at it, don't look at our posts

#Midst things #what are we supposed to do when you put down two characters that are about doing your best (struggling) to perform a perfection #and then make them mirror images and then on top of that go “they have a surrogate parent-child relationship they don't wanna admit to” #you expect us to be normal about characters that are about image-making and the question of whether there's any substance under the echoing #(we are totally normal)

[soopysoap]

hey btw nothing will make me immediately start ugly sobbing like the rocket man scene from everything sucks

#lord. LORDDD. #i also think its so interesting that while kates whole character is finding herself in the midst of Truly Dealing with her mothers death an #like. truly living for the first time with the fact that she doesnt have a mother during the years when she's developing as a person #her dads character has seemingly like #moved on #throughout the whole show #bc its established from the beginning that her death happened 10 years prior? so like it Makes Sense #and the entire time hes presented as this Happy Go Lucky guy who just wants to be there for his daughter and is a little silly and naive #sometimes #and like yeah hes struggling a bit when it comes to raising his daughter and finding love again but not any more than any other single #parent would! #and THEN #all of a sudden #he and kates boyfriend get her to play a song on the piano for them #bc they love her and want to see her in her element!!!! #and right from the beginning its established that the song shes going to play is very personal to her and her dad. they dont even divulge #details. he just says- 'youre gonna play moms song?' and she says 'yeah. is that okay?' and he says 'yeah.' and its fine #and then she plays and sings this BEAUTIFUL rendition of rocket man by elton john on the piano. and good GOD is he keeping it together for #her. but hes not smiling anymore!!!!! and the camera is cutting between her who is tearing up but Not Crying because she cant fucking cry b #SHE chose to do this and thats lame and embarrassing or whatever and then it fucking cuts back to him. during the lines 'i miss the earth s #much / i miss my wife' #good LORD nothing broke me faster #and then he just gets up. and leaves to go to the kitchen. during his daughters song- someone he has been TRYING SO HARD to be there for #while she continuously pushes him away bc of her own fears #and he fucking walks away bc he knows hes gonna break down and he cant do that in front of his daughter and who does he call?? WHO DOES HE #CALL????? the woman he had recently gone on a few dates with who likes him for Him who is helping him relearn what it means to be in love #and experience life without fear and she doesnt even pick up it just goes to voicemail and he KNOWS its just gonna go to voice mail her #voice just comforts him #all while rocket man is softly playing in the background #my roman empire

[keyotos]

if y’all do not hear from me after oct 8th, that is bc i will be dead with work (ap/ib classes, hoco planning, act retake, project, MY JOB).

#tana talks ⋆˙⊹ #i have sm work to do next week but i’m struggling between finishing my drafts and actually doing work #sigh #i’m literally in the midst of writing a series rn #oh well you guys will prob hear from me after october #but i smell another hiatus coming ☹️