#it almost softens it

[gardenerian]

thoughts on ian’s face in the “sorry im late” scene in 5x8 (i think it’s 5x8)

my thoughts are that i am going to start crying and never stop. my additional thoughts are:

so he's in bed, right? he's been trying mickey all day, meanwhile mickey has been going through his own process at home. but ian is thinking that he might have finally pushed mickey away for good - or scared him away. so he's in bed, eyes shut - probably not sleeping, but just laying there. shutting out the rest of the day. he hears someone behind him and his eyes kinda open. it's when he hears mickey though that his breathing picks up and we go from this:

to this:

like it's so slight, but like. the little flutters and the way his eyes start to move 😭 there's life left there. i feel like...... in moments like this, it sometimes feels like you might just lay there until you're dust. it's all over. the life you knew, the life you wanted. and yet - here he is again. and i think ian is genuinely surprised. this is where is starts being surprising to ian that he could be someone to come back for.

anyways. he turns around as fast as his medicated body will let him. we don't see his face when he first sees mickey, but we see it when he says "sorry i'm late." and it reminds me of the scene in 4x11 where mickey says "what you and i have makes me free." like it makes me insane. in both of these moments, his face just drops into something so young and so vulnerable.

like???? he's a little boy! and here is someone standing in front of him - someone he he has ALWAYS WANTED to stand in front of him - promising to be there. that he knows ian needed him. that he's here now for whatever might happen. reality is so warped these days but here he is.

and you see it land??? you see ian exhale and settle in a way he probably hasn't in a while. things are not okay. they're not okay!!! and they won't be for a while. but in this little moment together in this room where he grew up, he can breathe out the grief. he can share it.

mickey moves to get in bed and ian just makes room, like he always has. but he never blinks. doesn't dare take his eyes off of mickey. it's like he's scared mickey might change his mind, or dissolve right in front of him. is he even really there?

and there's another layer of disbelief here. another layer of grief. mickey milkovich is crawling back into his bed to hold him, and it's like this. it happened like this. everything he's done and suffered and been made to face comes down all at once. he's tired, he's scared. he's sorry. mickey has finally seen the worst of him.

he looks away, and mickey chases after him. i think it's important to mickey here that he lets ian feel him. something about that tactile, grounding comfort. and mickey won't look away either, it's too precious. ian's safe, even if nothing is the same.

and it's here, in these quivering lips and drawn eyebrows...... this is the release. his body and his mind have been through a lot in the last few days. it's as close to cathartic as ian really gets for a while. it's not long before the walls go back up and he's angry. but right now, he brings his hand to hold mickey's wrist, and he lets himself be held.

now.... this face:

this face fucking haunts me. i cannot name this face. what is he seeing here? i imagine it's so hard to see past this moment, into a future he can't name. it's like he's simultaneously feeling mickey there and also completely isolated. i can't explain this face. can anyone else explain this face???

either way, he closes his eyes against it. and you can assume that rest is coming.

with mickey keeping watch.

#i am legitimately in tears #i think...... #our focus as a fandom has shifted in a lot of ways #to our beloved himbo husbands and the silly slutty soft snarky future they share #and like! yes! yes let's! that's what they deserve! #don't mistake me i fucking love it #but the farther away we get from THIS #the harder it gets to come back to it #it becomes this abstract thing #and we end up saying things like #their history or what they overcame #or everything they've been through #it almost softens it #not saying that we need to be harping on the tragedy #it just feels so distant to the point where it's memed and convoluted #we've kind of desensitized ourselves? #i know we've probably said a lot of what we need to say #i don't think we need to constantly relive it or anything #i'm not making any sense #i don't know #this can be such a lonely way to live is all #i'm tired #ily anon #mel answers #5x08 #bipolar ian

[ten-simm]

When you kept your best pal imprisoned for a whole year along with his friends while exterminating half of the earth's population in front of him and he is still looking at you like that.

#puppy eyes™️ #also the fourth one when the master was literally eating people and ten was still going “🥺” #the first one where he's saying that now he has someone to care for gay people make me feel SICK /j #the “his gaze softened” meme again #it's insane how he almost never looked at the master with anger or something similar it was always this stare #(whatever the fuck it is) #tensimm #thoschei #doctor who #tenth doctor #10th doctor

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)

- explanation & w/o text:

Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!

First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.

Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.

Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.

Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.

About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.

I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")

I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.

#ah well this was certainly a project.... #rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse #this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :) #i think i def like the first one the best #it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days #like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing #but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it #i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well. #generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference #like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want #ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs #and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic #basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!! #there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari #but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari #and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m #a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him #so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh) #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.rambling.txt #catie.art. #vettonso #bond au

[fizzytoo]

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #postcard legacy challenge #YEAH BABIE #rosa absolutely losing her mind is me as hell #adrien having a conversation with rosa and the second he saw her eyes soften and the area grow quiet his heart #felt like it was going to jump out his chest. then he heard how gentle rua’s voice was coaxing him to turn around #rua’s hands were trembling but his resolve was absolute #adrien couldn’t have said yes any faster. then he was pulling at rua’s arms trying to drag him off the ground. nearly dropping the ring box #and when they kissed adrien could feel rua’s trembling hand against his face and the sigh of relief he breathed into his mouth #mmhm it was all planned 🤞🏽 rua had it in the bag. he organized adrien's parent's trip and bought the rings on the dl #did he almost tell on himself? maybe. but adrien never found out so it's a win #adrien was gonna propose but rua beat him to the punch. he's hiding the ring at rua's parents house 😭 #imma have him give it to him still hehehehe #postcard: gen3 #queue #sim: adrien herrera #sim: rua kamealoha #sim: rosa han

[grahamcarmen]

#red crackle #carmen x gray #carmen x graham #graham x carmen #gray x carmen #gifs #red crackle thoughts #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #ok so 1/ slightly superficial but yes THEY DRESS ALIKE #i only barely kept out the superficial she dresses in blue and takes a pic #but this one also has the small transtiion to thinking of carmen in a more personal light and chief saying think in shades of gray #also i think what carmen said both applies to letting her ignore his crackle name and taking her cue to start the mission even tho he's the #one who is mission minded and yes that means i went ahahaha #3/ i really love that they chose this close up of their harder expressions softening when we get the idea that the following flashback does #mean so much to carmen and gray admitting the feelings that existed during the train #YOU THINK I KNOW CONNECTED WITH THE HAND TO HEART SLAPS FOR BOTH I LOVE SLIGHT COMPOUNDED MEANING WITH VARIATION IN MEDIA #Like the context is different and its so interesting #she wants it to be something THEY KNOW #i almost included that lol her yanking his hand to save him /indelicate but sincere wish to protect e #Carmen sandiego 2019

[doggolol]

HE ALMOST SURRENDERS TO THE KISS

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO SURRENDER TO THE KISS

IM SOBBING

#did I post abt this yet #I've had this in my mind for over a year now but ig I forgot to mention it here lol #no but I'm actually sobbing the way he did want to give in and kiss alice but decided against it to save her ☹️☹️ #its not that obvious in the vid bc it all happens so quickly but u could see him soften up a bit after alice's line like :( #also semi side note I read a fic once years ago where alfred wasnt able to stop alice from kissing him in time and so they just wait the #sickness out together and it absolutely BROKE ME #give them their happy ending PLEASE #also for some reason a bunch of my abh libretto posts are getting traction again after almost a year #and out of all of em the stoned post is the most popular lmao #I love that there's still active members in this fandom #hi guys this is for yall <3 #I should post abt abh more #alice spencer #alfred hallam #abh #alice by heart #doggo rambles

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving. #sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno. #i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity. #again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

[chicago-geniza]

I was listening to an interview with Jan Bukowski's son and my Total Immersion Instinct was like "this is Stefania's dialect" because there's just something about the diction and the cadence that comes through in 1) her writing, 2) contemporaries' descriptions of her speech and now I'm listening to a recording of two very elderly people who speak a "fossilized" form of Kraków dialect and YEAH, GOT IT IN ONE GUESS, THIS IS THE CLOSEST I WILL COME TO HEARING STEFANIA UNLESS SOMEONE MIRACULOUSLY RECOVERS HER RADIO PROGRAMS THAT WERE BURNED IN THE WAR

#stefania tag #she apparently had a rich low voice but there's like #a cut-crystal clarity to this diction + a softening of certain sounds #like how people talk in old movies but more stately almost #oh I love this

[tinyfantasminha]

Oh shit we are finally getting episode of savanaclaw manga coming out in december

Obvs I'm looking forward to see Jack content in the manga but mmm I'm also a little worried? I'm not really a fan of how the new artist (Oda Suzuka, Pretty Boys Detective Club artist) drew Leona cause he looks too... Soft-looking? (his skin also looks very pale 💀) and that expression overall just seems ooc to me

From seeing their works, all of the characters they draw are bishonen (slim, pretty face, soft features) so I'm lowkey worried about how they will portray Leona and Jack, I'm just hoping they won't twink-ify Jack and make him less muscly and give Leona a shoujo-protagonist face

Anyway I hope that I'm wrong and that they will do a good job portraying savanaclaw 🙏

#this is just my personal opinion!!!!! #the new artist sure has a really pretty style but i just dont think its very fitting for savanaclaw #personally im not a fan of how some artists will draw leona with a pretty softened bishonen face #(and almost always comes w whitewashing as bonus) #and jack god...i always get flashbacks of that jp artist that draws him extremely slim and peach-skinned #I might be overreacting srry DHHJDSJFD its just that first leona illustration gave me the wrong impression #i just need jack to not be twinkified and ill be good #twisted wonderland #savanaclaw

[musical-chick-13]

ANYWAY, something something contrast between Lakan's face blindness slightly abating because Oh Look, Finally One Super-Special Person Who Isn't Stupid Like Everyone Else and Jinshi's fondness for Maomao coming from Oh Look, Even If She Hates Me, At Least Someone Is Evaluating Me As A Person.

#and ALSO contrast of maomao going 'suirei is exceptional but that's just a nice bonus and doesn't mean that I care about her more #than the average person' #(yes I WILL make everything about my femslash rarepairs) #mel on anime lockdown #like I know I make fun of jinshi sometimes but I do appreciate that he doesn't have the particular kind of character superiority complex #that is tailor-made to annoy me #I have softened on him considerably #(though I very much am still here almost exclusively For The Women)

[maxellminidisc]

I really need to finish that one huge lady warrior/monk romance adventure I was reading, I think I got about half way. It was pleasant enough but you know the dialogue feels weird in the sense that like you can tell the author did some lovely research on monastic life and theres lots of environmental stuff that references the medieval period and what not but then the dialogue has that "We gotta stop making characters talk like theyve been to therapy" thing going on so it'll take me out of it sometimes LMAO

#like its almost TOO pleasant you know??? like tooo soft and lighthearted #i feel like even when it wants to touch on some of the harder stuff it immediately softens the blow #i feel sometimes when your aim is to have something be healing you need space for the pain that is being healed in the narrative you know??

[journeysendinlovers]

My dad is starting to realize he's officially old and it's getting weird/interesting.

#he sleeps a lot more like me now #he's awake rn actually #as he nears retirement he's masking less #which is funny bcs he has no idea he's autistic #he just thinks bah I'm silly and old #lol. lmao even. #we have more in common now than ever #almost like we have multiple disabilities in common and are making a return to the land at the same time #and he's yk my one and only Dad #i appreciate my dad more as he's softened with age #i get why he's had to be like this for so long #i don't have to forgive him for all of it #but i think he can have. a small pass on being a little emotionally immature #he's been a Man of The House to at least 3 children since he was in middle school #i can't hate him as much as i did when i needed to feel like an adult for once #i just needed to be separate #i still do

[faerune]

I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black

[TEMPLATE]

#hotd oc #template* #OK I NEED TO PREFACE THE #argella apologizes first option i almost marked neither of them cause they both will hold a grudge lmao #like till they die #but if it's some stupid fight when they're actually romantically involved she's more likely to bite her tongue and be like ok whatever sorry #which softens aemond up t o do the same #ship: fire and fury

[mabelsguidetolife]

im sooooo lucky my dog likes cats and respects boundaries because this whole thing would be much harder

#the newbies have used their litterboxes #and they’re being allowed to slowly expand their horizons already #only under supervision #they’re eating much less ravenously now that they understand that there’s a secure food supply #and they’re carefully engaging with the other pets #the girl is being a little cocky though #territorial of my room almost #except for when juno came in and tried taking from her cat bowl and she let her #the boy is very passive as long as the other animals don’t come near his food #he’s wary but making friends #meanwhile she mostly hisses a little upon seeing some of the pets #but i think she’ll soften up #they need to learn that the house is a neutral zone for everyone rather than there being territories

[lloonlloon]

Yesterday I discovered I have accidentally made “Scary!” a marker when Roise was freaking out because she’d never seen a person wearing a dress before and I said “Oooo Scary!” And she immediately whirled around to me ears perked looking for cookie

#Callie is almost the same depending on the trigger #if it’s not too overwhelming Scary! softens her up and turns the situation into a fun game of investigation #reactivity #positive reinforcement #r+ #Roise #gsd