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theunquenchablethirst · 3 years

Text

Hooked (Jerome X Reader)

Ok, so this is a thing. I was kinda surprised nobody had used this scene yet, because the Gotham fandom seem to collectively agree that Jerome is BIG KINKY and yet the one scene where he canonically has people cuffed up and hung from the ceiling... nobody has touched??? Y'all have been sleeping on that scene! It's fanfic gold! Anyway, enjoy the hedonism. Much love xxx

Warning: SMUT, 18+, GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT, BDSM, bondage, cuffs, dom/sub, vaginal fingering, oral sex, biting, spanking, slapping, pussy slapping, light choking, spitting, belt whipping, praise/degradation, marking, mention of scratching, Jerome is big meanie pants mean man

The new mayor of Gotham is having a meeting with his council members, but things take a turn when the Legion of Horribles show up to kidnap them and reader. When the victims are being unloaded from the truck, Jerome Valeska notices reader, because she isn't exactly on the guest list.

Tag list of lovelies: @gabile18 @valeskaduh @fangirl--writes @persephoneblck

Masterlist

I had been working as a housekeeper for the new mayor. It was a good job, but I wasn't appreciated. I was just there to clean and serve when needed. I don't think he even knew my name. I was just hired help to him. To all of them.

He was hosting a dinner for his council that day. I had been placed in the corner of the room with a bottle of expensive wine where I was to wait until wanted. He gestured for me to come forwards and fill their glasses while they started talking about their displeasure with the rising foul play in the city, like it was anything new for Gotham. The chairwoman wanted to know what he was going to do about it. Very little in my opinion. He was just coasting. In too deep over his head. He had been appointed far too fast and everyone knew it. He wasn't going to last.

He made an attempt to save face and talk about how he too was disturbed by the recent goings on and was doing everything he could. Trash, utter trash. As he rose from his seat, the lights fizzled out. I stopped pouring. Had this been any other city I would have assumed it was a simple power outage, but nothing was that simple in Gotham. The security guard closed us in and went to see what was happening. The air turned icy. No, this was not good. Gunshots and screams came from the hallway and everyone rose from the table terrified. We quickly started walking towards a door hoping to make an escape, but there was something about the windows. They were freezing over.

The doors burst open and I dropped the wine. It smashed into pieces as a blueish man in some kind of robotic suit and a weird looking, but huge gun stepped into the room. Was that Victor Fries? Then through the second set of doors another man in a top hat who I recognised as Jervis Tetch burst in with some other strange looking friends.

Before I could comprehend the situation, we were all being cuffed and taken outside. Our kidnappers pushed and pulled us towards a huge truck, all the while the mayor tried to buy his way free. He was showing just how little he really knew about the underbelly of Gotham. I knew just by looking at them that they were probably Arkham escapees and couldn't be bought like a sane man could. They had their own plans and you can't bargain with crazies.

We got to the truck and they opened the back door. My blood ran cold when I saw that standing there waiting for us was Jerome Valeska. Of all the criminals Gotham had seen he had been the only one that had scared me, truly and thoroughly. He didn't have any kind of reason for what he did. He just enjoyed death and chaos. And after his last escapade he looked like madness personified, his scars circling his face and eyes and giving him a permanent evil smile. Dread consumed me as I realized that he was no doubt the leader of this operation and if that was true, we were already dead.

I felt myself jolted forwards. The mayor had pushed me in front of the rest of the council to get whatever was coming first. If I wasn't cuffed, I would have turned around and broke his nose. I was lifted into the truck, my hands were pulled above my head and fixed to two hooks. I had to stand on my toes to keep standing which made it awkward and difficult as they pushed me to the back of the truck.

Was that Penguin? What was he doing here? He didn't belong here. I had gone to Penguin looking for a job in his club when I was 16. He was impressed with my audition, but when he asked my age, he rejected me.

"This establishment is not a playground for children. It's a nightclub." He had told me. At the time I had been steaming mad, but in hindsight he was probably right. Even if he was rude. So, after that, I found it hard to understand why he was here and working with Valeska. Maybe he had been kidnapped too?

The rest of the council were loaded on and hooked. The mayor was still trying to offer them money and pardons. When he saw it wasn't working, he resorted to empty, unintimidating threats. Jerome was completely unfazed and even a little disappointed in the lack of smiles.

"Nobody knows how to have fun anymore, right?" He said putting his arm around Penguin. So, he was a part of this.

Jerome pointed to a scary looking figure dressed like a scarecrow. Johnathan Crane? Crane released some kind of purple gas in the face of a member of a council. She started laughing and convulsing violently.

"What have you got to lose? Except your sanity?" Jerome joined in the crazy laughter. So, this was his plan. He'd figured out a way to forcefully drive everyone insane. With a gas.

I silently prayed to God in my mind for any kind of help.

After sufficiently terrifying us half to death, they left us in the back of truck. None of us could say anything and after a few minutes the truck started moving.

"Is she ok?" I asked looking towards the victim of the insanity gas.

"Who cares?! We have to figure out what they want and get out of here." Replied the mayor.

"Maybe they want publicity for whatever that gas is. Offer them some TV time." Guessed the chairwoman.

"Don't you get it?! This isn't a situation you can buy your way out of!" I snapped, frustrated with their idiocy.

"These aren't normal criminals. They don't want your money. They want chaos and madness." They stood there silently stunned. They had never heard me speak with such confidence, but in that moment, they knew I was right.

After what felt like hours the truck finally stopped.

"What's going on?" The mayor whispered.

Everything was quiet. We listened for any noise or sign of life. All we could hear was our own breath.

Then suddenly the doors flung open once again and in hopped Valeska, Tetch and Crane.

"We're here!" Jerome grinned.

The other two started to pull the council one by one off the hooks and walk them out of the truck, closely watched by Jerome. Until they got to me.

"Wait..." He stuck an arm out to stop Tetch from unhooking me.

"Who's she? She wasn't on the party list." He took a few steps closer to me.

"This poor young girl is an unlucky maid. Wrong place, wrong time. Very bad day." Jervis explained looking at me.

"Would you like me to... dispose of her?" Asked Crane, stalking close to me and lifting needle covered fingers to my throat.

"Not so fast, Mr Potato Head." Jerome said pulling him away from me.

He came so close that we were only inches apart. He looked down at me as if he was thinking for a few seconds then smirked and turned around to the others.

"Guys, go and see that our guests are comfortable, will ya? Get everything ready." He ushered them out of the truck. Fear travelled up and down my body. This had all been a bad situation, but being alone with Valeska scared the hell out of me.

"You're lucky I have a soft spot for pretty little girls." He closed the truck doors and turned to look at me.

"Freddy Krueger there... not so much." He relaxed, leaning back against the doors with his hands in his pockets. "You got a name?"

I stayed silent, more out of fear than defiance. He sucked his teeth and stood up straight.

"I get it. You're scared. Who wouldn't be, right?" He started slowly walking closer. "But things will go a lot smoother if you just play nice."

I still couldn't find any words.

"Aw, come on, doll! I'm getting awful lonely over here." He brought his hands up out of his pockets and leaned against a wall of the truck.

He was quiet for a few seconds and I noticed that his eyes were making their way up my legs. Being held up by my wrists on my tip toes had pulled my uniform skirt up and almost all of my thighs were exposed. I blurted out my name in an attempt to distract him from my bare legs. He smiled.

"What a pretty name. Now, was that so hard?" He pushed himself off the wall and came a little closer.

"So, you're the mayor's dust bunny, huh? I gotta say, doll, I can see why he keeps you around." He chuckled, eyeing me.

My whole body flushed and my face turned hot and red.

“But, uh, the thing about mayors in this town, they don’t last very long.”

"Please let me go." I whimpered.

"Oh, but we're having such a good time! Plus, if I did that, you'd scamper off to the GCPD and I can't have good ol' Gordon crashing the party early."

I scoffed at his suggestion. Not likely. I had a distinct distaste for the GCPD. They hadn't helped me when I needed them. I would never need them again.

"What's the matter? He book ya before or something?" Jerome smiled with intrigue.

"My parents... they... did things to us. When I ended up in the hospital one too many times..." Tears stung my eyes as I remembered. "They left me there and disappeared with my little brother. No one ever managed to track them down."

I didn’t fully understand why I was opening up to Jerome, but for a second, I saw a spark of humanity in his eyes. Like he understood my pain. I'd heard his first kill had been his mother, so maybe he did?

"I'd give anything to see him again." I sniffed and a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Yeah, I had shitty parents too." He sighed. "I killed them both."

I had thought about what I would do if I ever saw my parents again. What I would say, what I would ask. I could never think of the right words. But the thought of killing them, well that made me smile.

"What was it like?" I asked.

Jerome grinned from ear to ear and stepped closer so that we were toe to toe.

“Have you ever stood at the edge of a really tall building? You know that little voice in the back of your head that says ‘Jump! You can fly!’ even though every other part of you is screaming ‘No you can’t! You’re gonna kill us!’”

I nodded shakily.

“It’s like finally giving in to that voice. Like jumping off Gotham Bridge and finding out you can fly. And realising you never have to walk again.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and my heart felt like it was going a million beats per minute. His eyes were locked on mine and it felt like he was looking straight into my soul.

“You wanna fly, doll?” He brought his hand up to cup my jaw and ran his thumb along my bottom lip.

It wasn’t humanity I saw in Jerome Valeskas eyes. It was freedom. A freedom that I had wanted for as long as I could remember. And I could have it right now. He was offering it to me. The only thing standing in my way was myself.

“Yes.” I breathed. “Yes, I do.”

The next thing I knew, his lips were crashing into mine and he had hooked his hands under my thighs and was holding them around his waist. His kiss was desperate and hungry, like he had been starved for days and his grip on the bare flesh of my thighs was rough enough to leave bruises. I locked my ankles together behind him to steady myself from swaying underneath the cuffs. When I did, he drove his crotch forwards, grinding into my centre, a quiet moan escaping me as I felt him.

He slowly trailed a hand from my thigh, up my back and to the nape of my neck, before balling my hair in his fist. I gasped as I felt the sudden, sharp tug of him pulling my head back.

His eyes wandered down to settle on my exposed throat, before yanking my head to the side and nestling in the crook of my neck. He must’ve left a hundred open mouth kisses, but as he started to suck, I felt his teeth sink into my skin. I pulled back with a hiss at the sting, but he wouldn’t let go. He just kept on leaving harsh, red bitemarks and pulling my hair, all the time grinding harder into me.

He licked over the bruises he’d left and gently kissed them, before trailing his tongue up my neck to nip at my ear. He smiled darkly and pulled back away from me, dropping my legs back to the floor. He stalked around me, eyeing me up and down like a predator. I felt him behind me, his hands softly holding onto my waist, pulling me close to his chest.

“You know what’s great about this?” He cooed. “You’re already pre-cuffed.”

I flushed and my core swelled hot, his breath so close to me made my skin tingle all over. He pulled at the top of my skirt and dragged it down my hips, letting it fall down around my feet. He caressed my thighs and then stepped back, tugging at my underwear, playfully letting the elastic snap back to me.

“Y’know...” He said, before the familiar sound of a belt unbuckling. “Marquis de Sade said ‘sex without pain is like food without taste’...”

My eyes widened at his words and my heartbeat quickened.

“So, let’s make this... delicious.”

A million thoughts raced through my mind, but before I could process any, I felt the sharp snap of leather against my ass. I jolted forwards and let out a high pitch yelp.

Even though I couldn’t see him, I could tell he was smirking. I could hear it in his voice. I bit my lip in an attempt to brace myself and he landed the belt across me again.

“Please, Jerome...” I whimpered at the sting, closing my eyes.

He brought it down again, making me arch my back in a gasp. A couple of tears rolled down my cheeks and I realised there was little point in resisting the torment. So, I gritted my teeth and prepared for another lick of the belt.

He whipped me once more, harder this time and a small scream escaped me.

“Please!” I begged.

I heard him chuckle with dark delight. The bastard was enjoying this. Of course he was. What else had I expected from someone like him? I tightened all my muscles for the next sting...

But it didn’t come. Instead, I felt him pulling my underwear down. Relief washed over me when I heard the belt drop to the floor and I realised Jerome was finished and was now crouched, ready to inspect his work. He ran his fingers over my burning flesh, taking in the bright red lashes he had left on me.

“What a pretty picture?” He said, landing a spank. “I wish you could see too doll, but having you cuffed is half the fun.”

His voice was dripping with venom and arousal and I could practically feel his grin in the air. He traced the marks with his fingers a little longer, before grabbing my flesh in fistfuls and sinking his teeth in. I gasped loudly at the hard bite. I wasn’t sure how many more of Jerome's surprises I could take. He laughed and ran his tongue over the new bruise.

“Yep. Definitely a pretty picture.” He smiled, giving me another spank. “I like those little noises you make, doll. Why don’t you make some more for me?”

He snaked his hand up my inner thigh and began stroking along my slit, relighting the fire in my stomach. I moaned, biting hard on my lip and tried to bring my thighs together, wanting friction.

“Naughty.” He said, landing a swift slap on my entrance causing me to let out a little yelp. “I need you to keep those legs open for me.”

It wasn’t as bad as the belt. In fact, it felt quite good. The heat inside me swelled as Jerome returned to running his fingers back and forth in my slickness. I hummed softly in my throat, fighting the urge to close my thighs again, my knees starting to shudder underneath me.

“Look how wet you are and I’m barely touching you.” Jerome chuckled darkly. “I wonder what happens if I do this?”

Jerome plunged two fingers deep inside me and slowly started pumping them. I let the warmth roll through me, moaning blissfully. He gently started to pick up speed, making it nearly impossible for me to keep my thighs apart. The faster he got, the deeper he dove, making me tighten around his talented fingers and struggle to keep steady on my toes.

My legs were shaking and despite my best efforts I just had to squeeze them together. As soon as I did, Jerome removed his fingers from me, leaving me feeling empty and spanked me hard.

“What did I say about that?” He barked, laying down another spank.

His spanking felt different this time. It felt pleasurable and sent a thrill up my spine.

“Sorry.” I whimpered.

“Sorry for what?” He spanked me again. “For being a needy little whore? Hm?” Another spank.

“Yes!” I gasped. “I’m a needy little whore! I just...”

“What? You just what?”

Jerome landed another slap at my core. It made my muscles clench, but it also aroused me so much more in a way I’d never thought I’d experience.

“What? What do you want, whore?”

“Please...”

“Big words, princess. What...” Spank. “Do you...” Another spank. “Want?”

“I want... I want you...” I forced, breathlessly.

“You want me? What do you want me to do, princess?” Jerome teased, tracing a finger along my burning entrance, just barely touching me.

“Please... Make me feel good, Jerome... Make me cum.”

“Are you gonna be a good girl?”

“Yes...”

“Are you gonna do as I say?”

“Yes, I will.”

“Exactly as I say?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Just please...Jerome.”

I couldn’t take it any longer. I felt so pathetic and needy. I needed him to touch me.

“So desperate.” He giggled sadistically. I supposed he loved seeing me beg.

Then, finally, he spread me open and dove his tongue deep into my wanting warmth. I closed my eyes and bit down hard on my lip as he swirled his tongue around inside me. I wanted to grab his hair and feel it in my fingers, but all I could do was squeeze my fists together in empty frustration.

Jerome grabbed a hand full of my ass, gripping it tightly, digging his nails in and rose his other hand to my pelvis front, pulling me down further onto his tongue. I squealed, a delightful mixture of pleasure and also pain from the tugging on my aching forearms. He ran his front hand down to play with my swollen clit, circling his fingers around beautifully.

He grinded his face deeply into me, sliding his tongue up, down, around and around inside me. He pressed his fingers down harder on my clit, forcing a loud moan out of me. I felt the pressure inside me build, coiling and tightening like a burning spring. I squeezed my thighs around his head in a desperate attempt to pull him deeper, his tongue nestling inside finding all of my sweet spots and lighting them on fire.

I could feel myself ready, ready to burst. He was pulling an amazing orgasm out of me and I wanted nothing more than to just let it go. All it took was one more upward jolt of his head, pushing his tongue that last little bit deep enough to push me over. I screamed out in erotic pleasure, letting the feeling flood me like warm water. My back arched and my legs convulsed until I withered, letting myself dangle from my cuffs in a breathless defeat.

Jerome slid his tongue out of me and pulled his face back away.

“You sing so pretty, dollface. Like a little birdie.” He said, squeezing the flesh off my ass.

He gave me one more light bite and a spank, before he rose back up to stand, snaking his hands along my sides all the way. He let his hands wander up to cup my breasts, massaging them softly. He leaned in close and began leaving wet kisses in the crook of my neck. I shuddered, his touch sending a cool tingle down my spine. He let his hands squeeze my breasts slightly harder, then pulled away and crept back around in front of me.

He stood facing me, his eyes locked on mine. They seemed to burn holes right into my flesh, creating a sense of fear in me. I was scared of Jerome Valeska, I truly was. But everything he was doing to me right now... The way he touched me, kissed me. I wondered how he managed it. How he was able to both terrify and arouse me in equal amounts.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t register his hand rising until it was firmly wrapped around my throat. He leaned down to kiss me, dominating my mouth with his tongue, making me taste myself. Once again, I felt the familiar warmth build in my core as I sensed we were not quite done here. He finished the kiss with a little nip to my bottom lip.

“Are you scared of me, doll?” He purred.

I swallowed hard, unsure if truth was wise here. Then I felt him increase the pressure around my throat, not wanting to wait for an answer.

“Yes.” I breathed.

“Good.” He said through an evil smirk.

He crashed his lips to mine once again, his free hand picking up my thigh to wrap around him. I locked both my legs around his waist, wanting to feel him close against me. I felt his erection hard, under his clothes, grinding into me and I wanted it. Badly. He pulled away from the kiss, leaving his taste on my tongue and raised his hand from my throat to grab hold of my face. He took his other hand away from my thigh and pulled at his tie. I didn’t drop my legs this time, instead I gripped tighter as he slid his tie from around his neck and scrunched it in his fist.

“Open your mouth.” He ordered.

I did as he said and he smiled, before spitting into my open lips and gagging me with his tie. I’d never had anyone do that before and it shocked me a little, but then again, I’d never had anyone like Jerome Valeska before.

He backed up slightly, just enough for him to reach down and unzip his trousers and pull down his underwear, freeing his erection. I couldn’t help but look down at it. It was bigger than any I’d taken before and I wasn’t sure how prepared I was. He started to slowly stroke himself, lifting up my chin to look at me.

He gently stroked a single finger across my jaw and then, suddenly, landed a harsh slap across my cheek. I yelped at the slap, causing a dangerous smile to form on Jeromes mouth. I should’ve been repulsed by him. He killed people and was aroused by my pain and fear, so why was I so attracted to him?

He angled himself underneath me so he was lined up and ready. He wrapped his hand back around my throat and then pushed forwards into me, causing us both to let out deep moans.

“You like that?”

I nodded and whimpered through the material of the tie. Jerome giggled darkly and with his free hand, gripped onto my waist.

“Brace yourself, princess.” He warned, through a poisonous smile.

He pulled back slowly, until he was almost completely out of me and then, like a bullet, ploughed himself right back in, jolting me backwards with force. He continued his thrusting rough and fast, making me whimper and bite down hard on the tie. I closed my legs tightly around him, pulling him closer and forcing him in deeper.

He let out a low, guttural groan and moved his hand upwards from my waist to slap me again, spitting at my face as he did so. I closed my eyes to endure the onslaught of him pounding inside me like a raging animal. I felt like a toy, dangling there for him to use as he liked, but still the searing pleasure of it all made me moan lustfully.

“Open those peepers, princess.” He commanded. “I want you to see exactly who’s in charge here.”

I opened my eyes and saw him grinning at me like a man possessed.

“You like this? You like me fucking you?” He growled, gripping my throat tighter.

All I could do was whimper and moan in response.

“I cuffed you and hung you up, hurt you, spat on you... even made you cry! And you still let me fuck you?” He laughed through shallow breaths. “You’re pathetic, you know that? A pathetic little whore.”

Jerome threw another slap at me and I felt myself tighten around his considerable length, taking him all deep inside me. He drove up into me like he was trying to break me open with his girth and I welcomed every inch of it.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He moaned.

I clenched my walls around him, the feeling of being filled by him sending flutters through me as he pushed in deeper and laughed.

“I don’t think your pussy ever wants to let me go, doll!” He grinned. “But I already know you like taking my cock like this, cause you’re such a good girl for me... I like that.”

I flushed at his words. I didn’t know why, but it made me feel good to please him and, in that moment, I would have done anything for him. I could feel my ecstasy creeping up on me, like magma rising inside a volcano. I cried out wantonly, the heat rising as he worked me, exploring every detail of my canal with his thick shaft.

He let go of my throat and moved both his hands to grab onto my ass and squeezed, steadying me so he could pound me harder and climb to release. His thrusts became erratic and sloppy and I could tell he was just as close as I was. I moaned loudly as he rammed into me harder and faster, burying himself deeper and making my arousal burn.

I could feel it coming, so close. I was about to boil over and all I needed was him. Just him. He continued thrusting like a raging animal, digging his nails into my flesh and scraping them along my ass, stinging sweetly. I whimpered at the sensation and tightened my legs.

“Cum for me, doll.” He panted. “I wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

He plunged into me, pushing the magma higher and just so close to bursting. It was coming. I could feel it.

He pounded again. So close. Again and again, so hard inside me. Just a little more...

I screamed out, closing my eyes and letting everything go. The feeling of my orgasm washed over me like a tidal wave of pure elation. My whole body shook from the force of it and I trembled like a leaf. Jerome continued to thrust into me until he too reached his climax. He growled like a beast and I felt him throb, releasing his hot load of sticky lust deep inside me.

We both relaxed, catching our breath and he stared down into my eyes. He unlatched his hands from the flesh of my ass and brought one round to gently stroke my cheek with his fingertips. It was quiet, but only for a minute.

He threw his head back and laughed like the madman he was, before pulling out of me and stepping back. My legs dropped to the floor and he began to put himself away and zip his trousers back up.

“Well, that was fantastic, dollface. Thanks for playing nice with me.” He said, throwing me a wink.

There was a loud metallic knock at the truck doors and I guessed whoever it was, was trying to get Jeromes attention.

“It’s been fun princess, really. But time waits for no man and I’ve got a party to attend” He said, smiling at me. “Well, more like crash.”

When he turned to leave, I tried to speak, but all that came out was intelligible muttering. He wasn’t going to leave me here, dangling, half naked and gagged like this? Was he? He began walking to the truck doors and I tried to call out.

“Oh! Wait, almost forgot.”

I felt a flood of relief when he began walking back to me.

“I’m gonna need this back.” He said and pulled the tie out of my mouth.

I was glad to finally be rid of it, but my joy was short lived, because he was starting to leave again.

“Hey...” I croaked; my mouth dry.

“Yeah, I’ll have someone come get you later.” He said, too nonchalantly for my liking. “For now, you can just... well, why don’t you just hang out?”

He laughed at his joke and opened the doors.

“Hey! You can’t leave me here!” I tried to shout, but my throat was too dry.

And then... he was gone. He really did just leave me alone, half naked in the back of a truck. How long would it be before someone found me? An hour? Two? The rest of the day?

All alone with my thoughts now, I decided the only thing to do now was wait. Wait and try and go over what the hell just happened between me and Jerome Valeska.

#gotham #jerome valeska #jerome x reader #fanfic #smut

544 notes · View notes

parkeraul · 5 years

Note

maybe a investigator!shawn oneshot where he's involved with criminal!reader and like.. unable to resist her??

trapped up on a tightrope | s.m (oneshot)

a/n: sorry this took so long. i was out of inspiration to this one but luckily something popped up into my mind today. by the way, not that anyone cares, my requests are closed and i’m writing the ones i already have. a special thanks to my babey @mbappekylians for giving me a little feedback about this. volim te.

warnings: kinky stuff, dirty talk, kinda smutty, kinda angsty, use of guns, mentions of crimes and swearing. words: 3,297k.

masterlist | previous work

“Why have you dragged me all the way to this place again?” She asks him, her long dress swaying shyly as he comes straight to where she is after closing the door to his hotel room. Shawn must’ve lost count of how many times he failed on gathering proofs against Y/N to finally trap her somewhere else rather than his bed. And this time wasn’t different since he was already cornering her, pinning her to the beige wall of his enormous bedroom on a building that she’s been in before. It sucks so much to get defeated by her silhouette wandering around the hall so delightfully embraced by an expensive red dress that clung to her body so tightly — and sure that cloth wasn’t properly purchased. Neither were the jewelries. As per usual.

“Thought it would bring you some sweet memories,” He says almost whispering, stretching his tattooed arm to limit her space even more. Her makeup is breathtakingly perfect, with sharp and well-defined eyeliner under her long and curved lashes. The unforgettable tone of red colouring her lips matching with the dress — this one disappearing at the middle of her chest where the cleavage showed him all the beginning of his insanity. God, and she wasn’t even trying. “Am I right?” “What a stupid way to remind me about the Carlson case,” She rolls her eyes, letting out a breathy chuckle. “See, Mendes, for an investigator — that’s sure a fool for me, by the way — you should act smoother,” Her sarcastic expression lightens in him the most extreme feelings: the love and the hate. As much as he loves her cocky attitude, it sparkles his nerves with anger. Who the hell does she think she is? “A girl hates when the guy comes off too strong, you know? Pay her a drink before; think before you speak; choose the right words—““I’m not kiddin’, honey,” He softly takes her chin in his thumb and forefinger, tilting her head up a little bit more to look her deep in the eyes. “Let’s not waste our time. I hate this as much as you do,” Shawn can barely see her in the darkness of the room, depending on the moonlight breaking through the balcony’s window to watch her features. It’s poorly, but it’s enough to see the details he admires the most. “But you owe me an explanation, if I’m not mistaken.” “You believed me? When I said I’d give away an information if you helped me sneak out from Edward’s office without making a scene?” At this point, his jaw is clenching and his eyebrows are frowning gradually. “Come on! By now you should know my mind like the back of your hand.”

His mouth threatens to fall open in surprise but he doesn’t let it happen. Instead, he presses his lips together forming a thin line while she smiles devilishly, taking the desire out of him for a moment. Shawn’s hand travels from her chin to her neck and he adds a light pressure, making her close her eyes and bite on her lower lip. Fuckin’ bitch. Nothing seems to ever scare her, she manages to turn it all into a joke and this might be the thing that pisses him off the most.

“You promised me,” Shawn groans lowly, ignoring the sensation of his dress pants getting tighter and the tie around his throat going uncomfortably taut. “And you’re not leaving this building until you spill the tea. Heard me?” “Mm, I like that,” Y/N makes sure to say this as sexy as possible and she knows it worked because he’s now breathing harder, chest moving heavily as he inhales and exhales. “What’s the downside, again?” “You think this is a fuckery, don’t you?” “Is there anything else but that between us?”

Yes, he thinks. An incomprehensible passion for a woman that can pull up the most beautiful lies and make a fool out of anyone she wants effortlessly. He feels handcuffed, ironically. In a prison where he’s locked by mistake, by his mistake of letting Y/N take over his mind like he’s a puppet. Fuckery it is.

“Could you start already and save me some hours?” “Without a kiss first?” She fakes puppy eyes, jutting out her lower lip dramatically in a childish pout. Her hands are coming up his chest, grabbing the collar of his white dress shirt and eventually sliding to play with his tie. “You know how long has it been since I last saw you in a black tie?” Y/N tries to distract him.Shawn stays silent, shoving a punch on the wall with the hand that was giving him support before. “Oh, I see,” Y/N says, jumping lightly in revelation and faking a comprehensive expression exaggeratedly. “You’re mad at me because I wasn’t a good girl. Am I right?” She pulls him closer by the tie, brushing her lips along his jawline as she smells the unforgettable scent of his cologne. Marking him with soft red lines from her lipstick, she watches it nearly mix with the rosy tone adorning his cheeks. “Thinkin’ I don’t deserve a reward for dressing up this good for you today and waste it all by being a brat,” Smirking, she tilts her head to bite at the lobe of his ear and fan her breath against it purposely, earning goosebumps from him in return. “I love it when you get rough but you know how much I hate when you’re quiet for me.” She shifts her leg up his side in order to bring him nearer, forcing his hip towards her with her shin pressed to his ass.In a swift motion, he lifts his thumb from her throat and puts it under her chinbone, still holding her neck by the nape. Inching her head back quickly, he hears it banging weakly against the wall and it makes her hair fall partly in front of her eye. She gasps, out of breath but not defeated enough to stop running her hands down his frame, feeling the muscles of his abs under her palms through his shirt. Shawn steps closer, trapping her hands between their bodies and interrupting her teasing. He knows better and hates that he has to stop her so his mind is clear to think straight. “What do you want to tell me how and why have you killed Carlson Reagan?” He asks with no ceremony. It’s an amusement to look at her being dominated by him, face tilted up at his mercy and her intimidating glance only getting more and more intense. It’s always a fight of who rules over whom. She whines like a baby, squinting her eyes and he knows what it is. Pity. “Aw! Still hurt because I didn’t keep my promise?” Y/N pitches her voice, acting like a regretful teenager who couldn’t fulfill her partner’s expectation. “Or hurt because he took me to bed that night?”

The pain on his face is more than noticeable. Shawn can’t control his impatience and moves his hand to her hair, tugging at the locks and pulling her to his own face.

“Go to the point.” He growls and he’s not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want to believe she fucked with someone else, or because he thinks she’s lying. “Funny of you to interrogate me like that when you could be putting my mouth to a better use,” Lifting one eyebrow cockily, she drags her hand up her own thigh where the fabric of her dress opens to reveal her leg. “You wanna save hours that you could be enjoying instead, right in front of me. Exactly how you are. I’d just, you know… Need some space to knee down and bring you clothes with me, investigator,” Shawn doesn’t notice her hand disappearing inside the flat skirt of her dress and uses his fingers that aren’t tangled in her hair to play with the strap of her cloth. “I’ve been thinking about that gagging thing you’re head over heels for. Reagan wasn’t really into raw sex like you are, kinda boring,” She makes a sad face as she finally feels the material of lace belt around her thigh, sliding her fingers to the outer side of her leg where her gun is at, tucked in and held by the drapery. He’s twirling the strap with his finger, bringing it down her arm and letting it rest there. Eyeing her round breast showing up more, he takes his hand off her to place it on top of his belt. “We could try that. ‘M pretty sure you’re crazy to punish your babygirl tonight, aren’t you? Mm?” Their lips are brushing together now that he’s dropped his face next to hers, his irresistible smile pearling in the soft darkness for his jaw to close no longer after, making her wonder if his teeth might even shatter.

Rapidly, she grabs the gun in a handful while Shawn moves his hand to his pocket, finding his gun. He lets go of her hair and, at the same time, they put the guns out as he takes a step back, pointing the object to her just like she points hers to him.

“Very good, investigator,” Her back leaves the wall and she stands on her heels properly, spine perfectly aligned and straight, ready to react. If they weren’t in a moment of tenseness, he would melt in a puddle for her laugh right now. “Brilliant! Someone’s getting better, eh?”

Y/N loads a bullet, making Shawn do the same and the clicking of the guns sound deafening as it echoes throughout the room. She’s smiling and giggling like this is a moment of joy, walking slowly to him as he keeps on walking backwards. The barrel of her silver gun shines through the nightfall and so do her eyes, standing behind the pipe attentive on him.

“What, Mendes? Cat got your tongue?” Questioning, the noise of her high-heels hitting the wooden floor reverberate as she steps carefully. “You wanted me to talk but I’ve been such a big mouth for most part of the night already,” Shawn’s left arm is supporting his right hand — that’s holding the weapon — and he’s more than observant, fearing any impulsive actions that he knows she’s capable of. He’s seen her fight with guns, without guns and all of these moments made him learn that she’ll definitely not falter. More than pretty, she’s smart. She’s clever. She’s fast. No wonder why she’s been escaping for so long, making his career look like a trash can. “If you were good at investigating, as good as you are at shooting or in bed, you’d find out by yourself that Reagan wasn’t murdered by these hands.” Y/N shakes her hands playfully and his heart miss a beat. Shit, she’s not here to fuck around. “If you’re so innocent, then why do you keep on running from my questions?” With that, Shawn makes her smile fade away gradually and she wears a frightening face, trying to be the winner of this endless battle again. This time, he’s the one who smiles as his back reaches the power switch on the wall behind him, lightening up the room and seeing her face concentrated, brain working hard to build up a way to beat him on arguments. “Not so talkative now, are we?” “What makes you think you can put me down with your pitiable pressure?” “Can see your legs shaking from here.” “Don’t lie to yourself—“ “From all of the times I felt them shivering around my head, let’s say I’m a pro by now. Been making them tremble to me for so many nights, very bold of you to assume I wouldn’t notice so easily.”

Y/N drops her head back and laughs loudly, putting her guard down but totally okay with this, because she knows he won’t do a single thing, too fucked for her to even think about pushing a bullet towards her body. His words surely made her heat wet in anticipation and it’s getting harder for Shawn not to give up and finish what he started, her dress falling more and more as she moves her silhouette next to his between chuckles. As he wants, she’s in front of him and he shifts his gun down below a little bit, hand resting on his own front as he holds the object still. The arm that gave him support before is now going up so he can run his fingers through his brown curls, soon falling to his pocket. Y/N surprisingly fixes her weapon back to its previous state, completely locked and saving the bullets from coming through the metal tube and she tosses it on top of the bed.

“You were right,” She says, getting rid of the remaining strap of her dress and Shawn is more than confused, never putting his weapon down though. “This place brings me sweet memories.” He knows she’s not talking about the crime that’s happened in here. She’s talking about the first night they’ve met right on this same building. She was planning smaller things, like stealing a wonderful diamond necklace she’s been dying for and get some money out of unknown rich people’s wallets. Discreet and charming as only Y/N is, she obviously did it perfectly and as a bonus, she made out with the hottest man of the party in her eyes: Shawn Mendes himself. Since then and since he found out who she really is, it’s been a running back and forth like they’re stuck together by chains. She would never admit, but a few crimes here and there are just to catch his attention and make him come crawling back to her. The only thing he regrets about all of this is falling in love with her before knowing that she carries thousands of accusations, giving his work team a big headache. “What are you doing, Y/N?” Shawn asks, frowning as he watches her unzip her dress and pull it down her frame. She’s wearing a black strapless bra, matching with the belt hugging her right thigh and the lace underwear that he loves so much. Stepping out of her cloth pooled around her feet, she easily removes her heels with her feet and kicks them aside right after. “I’m doing what you really want me to do,” She calls him out unconsciously, looking him in the eyes seriously. “Or do you want to carry on with this little game?” “I told you I’m not kidding,” He prompts, forcing himself to ignore how stunning she looks in that lace set that gets him drooling. Gulping, he loosens the tie around his neck a little as he feels himself hardening to the sight of her. “Stop dissuading.” “You stop dissuading,” Y/N responds faking indignation, closing the space between them but being stopped by the cold metal of his gun. “Making me wait way too much, I’m getting impatient.” “Shut up and tell me what the fuck happened to Reagan.” “I can’t do both, love. I can either have you shutting me up or—“ “I swear to God I’ll—““You’ll what?” There’s a moment of silence after her question, making Shawn decide to put his career and rationality in front of his feelings. They’re glancing at each other, expressions falling flat and Shawn is huffing, puffing his chest and it makes the dress shirt get more constricted to his muscular middle. The anger is clear by the way they’re furrowing their brows, and Y/N makes the first move. Unbuckling his belt and keeping eye-contact, she releases the leather and pulls it away nonchalantly. The material goes behind her head and she lets it rest on her neck, sure that he’s wondering how hot she would look under him with that belt around her throat while her mouth opens for her to moan his name. She tucks the strap into the belt loop and, instead of inserting the pin into the hole, she takes his hand out of his pocket and makes him hold the belt. “You know why I’m not afraid of you, Shawn?” Y/N asks indifferently, undoing the buttons of his shirt and watching his skin being uncovered. Noticing more chest hair than he had last time they were together, she licks her lips and finishes the last buttons calmly. He’s holding the belt without a single dose of strength, too compelled by her body and skilled hand undressing him. “Because I’ve been giving you lots of chances to make your move and you’re letting them pass, as always,” She’s right, though. She let her guard down when she relaxed her body to laugh, as when she threw her gun away and kept on coming closer without a proper weapon to defend herself and, as if it isn’t enough, he’s got his belt decently arranged and ready to choke her at any second. Poor Shawn, too weak and too fucked. “But if you wanna do your thing like you say you want to…” Y/N starts, taking his wrist and closing the space between her and the gun — this one glued to her chest and he feels her heartbeat vibrate through the object, sending motions to his shaking hand. “Then go ahead. You know I’ve got nothing to lose.” “Y/N, what the f—““Go,” She assures, gulping and her eyes are starting to burn but she’s not planning on welcoming any tears. “Pull. The. Trigger.” Shawn squints his nose and his lips part, eyes widening while his fist shivers. She’s never played this far and although his reputation is slowly getting ruined, he’s thinking twice. Her look cuts his heart in half, making his chest ache and blood boil through his veins. “You can’t? Need help?” Her thumb descends and touches the trigger. She tilts her head to the side, making her hair cascade to her shoulder as she waits for his answer. Analysing his face tenderly, she notices the tears pooling in his eyes and they both ask quietly to themselves what the fuck are they doing to their lives? “I—““Again: You know why I don’t fear you?” Imperturbably, Y/N says in a sweet tone as her hands release the grip on his and go to cup his face, digits rubbing lovingly along his cheeks. “Because I know you’d never hurt me. You’re way too much in love with me to rip me apart with your bullets, investigator.” That burning sensation takes over his face and he’s sure he’s blushing, still shocked by this entire situation. As if nothing happened, she walks back and finds her dress long gone on the floor. Before, she catches her gun and puckers it back under the lace adorning her leg and tucks her feet inside the golden shoes. Soon, Y/N throws the dress above her head and covers her body while Shawn is frozen in his place, facepalming and massaging his temples. Why is she so hard to let go? Why can’t she prove him wrong and make him feel less guilty about loving her so much? He’s nothing but a joke when it comes to stalk and inspect her because the end is predictable: he’ll be on top of her, tangled into her legs surrounding his hips as he pounds forcefully inside of her core, making her scream as she praises him and begs for more. That’s all he wanted for tonight, if he’s honest. Shawn hears Y/N zipping up her cloth again and the footsteps back to his direction. She places a hand on his cheek and the other one on the doorknob beside him. “Promise me next time will be funnier than this and I’ll drop the name you’re dying to know,” She finishes and opens the door. “After an orgasm or two, of course.”

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes oneshots #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes masterlist #mine #ficsofmine #requested

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isthisthingeven0n · 5 years

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Before I fall (a rundown of the movie)

* this is all context for a piece I have coming up soon and is based on this movie. It’s a complex one so it’ll help a lot to read this and my girl who submitted this is hilarious, so thank you again for taking the time to write this all out for me 🥰 *

So Zoeys character (Samantha) Wakes up at 6:30 am on cupids day. (Very important detail.) she gets picked up by her friends and one of them give her a condom because she’s finally 18 and is gonna have sex for the first time.

Fast forward a bit.

They get to school to see everyone preparing roses for Cupid’s day (Valentine’s Day) and then they get to class. In class as the teacher was talking about something (I did some research my dude, he was talking about Sisyphus) But was interrupted as a bunch of girls walked in with roses to be handed out. While everyone got a simple red rose, someone bought Sam a “unique” rose. It was v colourful. (The girl that gave it to her soar the rose was pretty.)

Another fast forward.

After class this guy comes up to Sam while she’s walking, (his name is Kent) and asks if she liked the rose he got her. He invites her to a party at his house , but she says fuckity no.

They’re now at lunch (they being, Sam and her squad) and they’re chatting, talking about boys and Sams boyfriend (who’s played by kian Lawley- his name is Rob) they talk about Anna breaking up with her girlfriend (I think-) and then laugh at Juliet the loner. They think she’s insane cuz she sits alone, draws crazy sht and also “looks weird.” So as a joke they send a gag rose to her. Then Sam finds out everyone’s going to main man Kent’s party so she’s like “oh sht k let’s go my dudes.” (Not a quote)

After school they’re getting ready for the party and main bitch (not a compliment) Lindsay, gives tips to Sam on her first time. They get to the party and Kent tries to get in with Sam but she kinda brushes him off. Sam finds Rob, but he’s a drunk mess. And then they party but WUH OH !! Juliet shows up, poor babe does nothing wrong but once again main bitch Lindsay’s gotta be a dollar store thot. Lindsya confronts Juliet and then Juliet’s like “hell no you thot.” (Once again not a quote) and then Lindsay throws her drink at Juliet. Lindsay calls Juliet names and everyone’s laughing at Juliet. Juliets embarrassed and upset so she leaves crying and then Kent my main man comes in and is like “woah what happened?” He finds out what happens and basically becomes the “I am, Disgusted.” Vine. He also found out that Sam was apart of it. Something about Rob throwing up in the kitchen and then Lindsay wanted to leave, so they did.

As they’re driving back (don’t be a Lindsay and drive while drunk.) it’s really awkward and sht, Lindsay asks what the time is, it’s 12:39 am. They run over something, get distracted and get run off the road after missing a truck. Inevitably ending up in a car crash.

BAM ITS 6:30 AM ON CUPIDS DAY AGAIN.

Sam wakes up exactly how she did last time. Tells her sister “it’s Saturday” her sister laughs at her and sams like “maybe it was just a dream.” Proceeds with her morning routine (💁🏻‍♀️) she goes on with her day, goes to the party (everything happens again) and as they’re in the car Sam turns to Lindsay and is like “watch out for the truck” Lindsay’s confused and is like “what truck?” And then they get in the car accident again and you’ll never believe it-

ITS 6:30 AM ON CUPIDS DAY BITCHESSSSS

She wakes up again, same thing but this time she’s like “I feel sick.” So her mum lets her go to school late. She gets to school and Kent gives her the flower because she wasn’t in class, she says what he says at the same time and walks off. Sam gets to lunch and sees her friends and is like “why do y’all hate Juliet?” (NOT A QUOTE) and Lindsay is like “she’s a freak.” Blah blah blah. This time they don’t go to the party, Sam convinced them to have a sleepover instead (thought she found a loophole- spoiler alert she didn’t) and Lindsay texts Rob saying they couldn’t go cuz Sam is on her period.

They have fun blah blah blah, Sam checks the time and guess what? It’s not 12:39 am it’s actually 12:40 am now. She’s relieved and thinks she survived, so she tells her friends she loves them. They laugh and brush it off. They fall asleep but wake up to a text saying Juliet killed herself. Lindsay is pissed and the other two girls go to another room because they’re shook. Sam asks Lindsay if her and Juliet were friends once and Lindsay gets more pissed and doesn’t answer.

The end.

JUST KIDDING ITS 6:30 AM ON CUPIDS DAY AGAIN.

Sam wakes up and she relieves the same day over and over again (we get a montage) at one point she’s like “am I dead? Is this hell?” She’s like fck it. She’s annoyed of living the same day with no changes, so she wears really revealing clothes, fights with her family. Her friend tries to give her the condom, Sam gets pissed and snaps at her. Her friends ask about her serious new attitude problem and then Sam yells at them and argues with Lindsay who kicks Sam out of the car. She gets to school, gets up to throw Kent’s rose away and gets kinky with the teacher asking him if she excites him. Kent confronts her and is like “this isn’t you Sam.” And then she goes to the bathroom to talk to Anna and they bond. Sam asks Anna if she ever felt like she’s living the same day over and over again, Anna says that that’s her life.

Sam goes to Kent’s party, gets confronted by one of her friends who tell her she needs to stop acting like someone she isn’t. Sam talks to Lindsay which causes an argument. Sam makes out with Rob and they start having some sexy time, but she stops him halfway through cuz she’s upset. He asks her if she wants him to say “I love you.” And she starts crying, storms off to Kent’s room, he comforts her they have a moment and then he brings her to his bed (nothing happens) and as he’s comforting her he gets a text, she tells him to ignore it and for him to stay with her.

The next day (once again Cupids day) Sams like “being a hoe isn’t great” and realised that it made her feel worse. She spends her day bonding with this girl in the woods and then goes it for dinner with her family, apologising to them for how shitty she’s been. Her mum tells her to go out with her friends and sams like “fineeee” And then she ends up in Kent’s room again, this time they kiss. (And also talk about how Sam got her pretending to be a flying squirrel)

Their moment gets interrupted by Juliet and Lindsay having the argument. Sam rushes down hoping she could stop the fight but is too late, only making it down to see Juliet running off in tears. Sam chases after her through the woods and they end up at the edge of the road (like the road and then the entrance to the woods) Juliet goes batshit and says sam and her friends are horrible people. She then explains her and Lindsay used to be friends and she was there for her through Lindsay’s parents divorce. The whole thing got so bad for younger Lindsay to the point where she started wetting the bed. And one night at camp she blamed Juliet for wetting the bed (in reality it was Lindsay) Juliet then runs onto the road and is hit bY Lindsay’s car, Sam then realised that that’s what they hit every time. And with this information Sam decides to have one more same day, this time knowing what to do.

Sam wakes up again, but this time in a better mood and is much more nicer to her family. In the car she tells her friends why she lives them. (This is quoted off a website.) “ally for her curiosity, Elody for her Love and Lindsay for her passion.” They get to school and Sam writes a note on the roses. For Juliet (once again quotes off the website) “ for Juliet she writes that ‘it’s never too late.’ And to Kent she writes that he’s her hero.” When In class Sam compliments Anna for her boots. And at lunch she goes over to Main f boy Rob and breaks up with him. He gets triggered and says he should’ve gone for Elody.

When they get to the party Sam stops Juliet from going in, telling her that she knows what she’s planning to do and then begins apologising for how bad her and her friends had been to Juliet. Sam tried to go after Juliet but Kent grabs her arm, she tells Kent he was the best kiss she ever had and then runs after Juliet leaving Kent really confused. (because in the other same days they kissed but in the current one they hadn’t, meaning he doesn’t remember the kiss) Sam catches up to Juliet, trying to convince her not to kill herself but Juliet is pretty set on it. As Juliet tries to jump in front of an oncoming truck, Sam pushes her out of the way and getting hit instead.

As Sam lays lifeless on the road with Juliet trying to “wake her up” Sam narrates that she sees only the good bits of her life, people like her friends, Kent and her family. And then we see Juliet telling Sam that she saved her life. And then we see sams spirit looking at the scene in front of her. And a voice over version of Sam commenting on how Juliet was the one who saved Sam instead.

THE END.

Source: http://www.themoviespoiler.com/2017Spoilers/BeforeIfall.html

#honestly best thing i have had submitted #just love it #submission

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eligrantbooks · 6 years

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gotta vent about my day real quick

highlights of the day

> be professional ghostwriter.

Agreed to edit a 25000 word segment of a finished manuscript for a much loved regular client, who said the MC’s dialogue needed to be punched up. Easy enough. I figured it would take a few hours.

Was briefly excited to discover the manuscript was for a concept I had outlined and written several chapters for a few months ago.

Excitement rapidly dwindles as I realize that beloved client has hired another ghostwriter to write the majority of the book. Which would be fine, except this other ghostwriter has no fucking idea what they are doing.

Formatting is a god damn disaster and I spend several hours just getting the document into a workable condition.

You ever open a word doc, look at the navigation pane, and just see a wall of blank links, because someone applied the header formatting somewhere and then just hit enter a million times instead of using a page break like a civilized god damn human being?

in the middle of this forest of blank headers, actual chapter titles are scattered at random, and also they only applied the header to roughly one out of every five chapters or so, you know, just, when they felt like it. when the spirit took them. when the stars aligned. when the feng shui was right.

Also, apparently they like the way first line indenting looks but don’t know how to make word do that (spoiler: its easy as shit and takes like two clicks) so every once in a while they start manually hitting tab before every line, until they get distracted and stop for a while, luring you into a false sense of security before they remember and start doing it again.

Sometimes, when a scene transitions but they dont want to just end the chapter for some reason, they break it up with spaces. Other times, they like to use asterisks. Once or twice, just for flavor, they throw in one of those page width lines that word makes when you type a line of hyphens.

There is random highlighting in places, for no discernible reason.

Once I have the document formatted in a way I can bear to work with, I start actually reading through it. About the first seven chapters were written by the client. They’re cheesy but solid.

Then I get to chapter eight, and the suspicions i had begun to form while putting the formatting through traction (namely that whoever did this was a fuckwit) quickly crystallized into a shining certainty that my beloved client had mistakenly hired An Ass Clown.

Not just An Ass Clown, but An Ass Clown who thought 50 Shades was a beautiful love story, actually.

And they gave This Ass Clown, this literary reprobate, this paste eating remedial english mother fucker, my outline.

let me clarify that i did not expect to have sole control of this story when i produced the outline for beloved client, and I was okay with that. That’s how it works. If I’d been dead set on writing this myself, i wouldn’t have sold the outilne to beloved client. but it really rubs salt in the wound to have spent hours of my life crafting the bones of this story, which i really liked and was excited to see take shape

and then find out it has been put into the pie fondling hands

of An Ass Clown.

first hint that something has gone drastically wrong: the arrival of completely unnecessary and ridiculous fantasy names for things.

“oh we dont drink coffee in this book. it’s kofee. at least until three chapters from now when i forget and it becomes kofe. Oh, and watch out for those thornaby bushes! I’m going to misspell that one literally every time I use it! It’s entirely possible that this isn’t a fantasy name at all and I just have a small seizure whenever I try to type the word thorn bush!”

second omen of my impending anuerism: phonetically written accents which are so comically stereotypical and inaccurate that native speakers of that accent should be entitled to financial compensation, except they can’t even stick to the stereotype accurately, producing gems such as “It’s not safe in that there pen with ‘em swine, young miss.” I don’t even know what accent that’s supposed to represent. To top it off these accent abominations are sprinkled in with all the consistency and reliability of a lactose intolerant cheese enthusiast’s bowel movements.

But this, I tell myself, moving on, is not my problem. I just need to punch up the mcs dialogue. It’ll be fine. I can do this. I just need to take this shit: “A fond idea, but I doubt I have that ability.” I joked. “I can’t imagine living without true sunshine. Even the triplet moons must shine less brightly without their sister sun.” and make it… not like that.

Except, and here’s where I start hitting the real roadblock guys

this book is in first person.

essentially, the entire novel is the MC talking.

So sure I can change the spoken lines, but her internal monologue

which is, i remind you, the entire narrative

her internal monologue is going to keep being maggie gyllenhal’s character from The Secretary if her copy of the script had been swapped with just a binder full of sonnets written by a middle school english class during the Shakespeare unit.

I get to chapter ten around three in the afternoon. I have been working steadily, with an unusual degree of focus thanks to my recent adderal prescription, since ten in the morning.

this is where shit begins to go truly bananas.

this is a YA beauty and the beast type fantasy

that good fun indulgent shit that’s almost as enjoyable to write as it is to read

usually. previously. before i had to endure this traumatic twelve hour experience.

Chapter ten is the first big “dinner” scene. this book isn’t being shy about pulling from the source material, but that’s fine. the beast “apologizes” (heavy quotes there) for having earlier used magic to force the heroine to answer his questions truthfully. They talk and almost seem to making progress for a bit, and then have a fight and storm off. Standard stuff.

Except, uh, the beast’s apology is, essentially “Yeah I shouldn’t have done that.” “so you’re apologizing?” “no but it’s the best you’re going to get so deal with it.”

and the headstrong, independent heroine who wears pants and wrestles pigs and dont need no man

just kinda rolls with this. There’s giggling.

They have their big dramatic fight, exit stage left, much angst and todo.

The next morning heroine wakes up to find the beast has (presumably) snuck into her room while she was sleeping and dumped a bunch of new dresses on her. he has also (apparently) replaced her brain with Bella Swan’s more vapid cousin.

She forgives him instantly. Because pretty dresses. She also starts calling him master, because why not. She has, over night, become the darling submissive Tumblr doms dream of.

This is not a bdsm book. I am eighty percent certain it doesn’t even include soft core smut. I’m telling you this so that you understand this transformation was not a contrivance in order to facilitate kinky sex. I have written a contrived set up to a sex scene or two in my day. This is not that. This is Not what is in the outline. I know, because i wrote the outline. It is My Outline.

No, The Ass Clown just… decided to do this. Apropos of nothing. I’m beginning to think the Ass Clown’s decision making process involves whipping pies at a comically large dartboard. And all the options on the dartboard are just “lol whatever”

By the time I get to chapter eleven, wherein our newly lobotomized heroine is “excited to wear a new frock and please the master!” - direct quote I have given up any pretense of editing dialogue and I am just straight up rewriting shit using the previous garbage as a loose outline.

I have eaten, maybe, three bites of a bowl of oatmeal all day. I have not taken a bathroom break since before noon. I have missed my deadline. Beloved client is concerned. I’m sure I can still do this, I just need a few more hours.

the words sound like truth but my soul knows i am a liar

I frantically restructure scene after scene, deceiving myself each time that it will be the last, and I will be able to get this crazy train back on the rails. But this crazy train has no interest in being on the rails. It’s a direct line no stops right off the edge of the cliffs of insanity.

The beast jumps unpredictably from homicidal rage and threats of violence to jokes and flirting as though he did not just declare her his property and threaten to rip her tongue out a few paragraphs ago. Heroine swoons and sighs and giggles regardless of whether she is dealing with Dr.Jekyll or Christian Gray on PCP.

But I’m still sure I can do this. I’ll just adjust these two full chapters to make her appropriately scared and angry, and then replace this weird conversation here with a heartfelt apology from him and an effort to do better. That will totally work. Unless, you know, it turns out that conversation I want to replace only starts out with them joking and laughing together, and turns into him berating and abusing her mid paragraph of a fuckin montage a page later! But, haha! Why would The Ass Clown ever do that? It would be completely irrational, tonally jarring and out of character! Only a seltzer slinging rainbow suspender-ed peanut butter fumbling son of six fucks would do that.

so of course The Ass Clown did that.

It’s eleven at night. I know when I’m beaten.

I inform beloved client that the Ass Clown has bested me and I can do no more.

She is very understanding.

I send her what I managed and I check the added word count while im at it

i added a full 6,000 words to that manuscript just trying to patch up this sloppy motherfucker’s lopsided prose and gossamer thin understanding of narrative structure

son of a bitch had about as firm a grasp of romance as i currently have on the trembling shreds of my sanity.

their grip on character writing could not be more tenuous if they had first dipped the target brand Hulk Hands which I assume they always have on their person into a barrel of adult-film-grade silicon lubricant and then taken their Leapfrog 2-in-1 Leaptop Touch down a waterslide.

Do you know how much I usually make for 6000 words?

$180.

Do you know how much I made for enduring this ass blasting, which I naively believed I could tackle in a matter of hours?

$100.

You owe me $80 Ass Clown. And I aim to collect.

Also I lost my damn mind for a minute and said the words "i dont know shit about fuck my guy” to my actual father on facebook

so there’s that.

#reposting from my rp blog #i need to get better about not using it as a personal

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aicosu · 7 years

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Hey guys! I wanted to know how was the fifty shades darker movie? Was it decent or was it really bad like some people are saying?

Omfg.

I actually have intense complicated thoughts on Fifty Shades.I’ve been obsessed with the rise and fall story of Fifty Shades, mostly because I’m a fanfiction writer myself and super - SUPER fucking familiar with the community and it’s inner workings. LONG POST AHEAD.

The tale of HOW and WHY Fifty Shades even hit bestseller is amazing. AD I SEE IT HAPPEN EVERYDAY ON AO3. Like, keeping your fanfic chapters to a couple thosand words, updating weekly, and commenting on comments for your fic to up the comment count (something I refuse to do for this very reason) is a VIABLE method to staying on the top list of any fandom on any fanfic hosting website. Even if you only have the same 10 people commenting on your fic, fic you comment back, 20 comments per chapter nad have 60 chapters? Thats 1200 comments! FUCKING INSANE. I see it everyday. I think every fanfic reader/writer knows that ONE STORY thats ALWAYS on top, for this reason alone, even when (JUST LIKE EL JAMES) the writing is horrendous.

So! When I researched all of this once the book was released and had all that controversy about BDSM I was both suprised, impressed and horrified. Suprised that a fanfic had even MADE it this far. Impressed because, you got to give the girl kudos. Having her original fanfic readers comment and rate her book on amazon with copy pasta reviews and skyrocketing her to #1 is ingenious. It is, from a marketing stand point its amazing. And of course, I was horrified and dissapointed that with all the fanfics out there, it had to be this one. Not only was the writing terrible, but its a terrible terrible representation of the bdsm culture and community.

Do not misunderstand me; The Fifty Shades books are horribly written and super problematic.

The Movies:

Okay so, I’m a huge film buff. Huge. I took film history and cinematic storytelling in college and I love analyzing movies.

From a director and writer and cinematographers standpoint, I was literally curious about HOW THE FUCK YOU EVEN FILM THIS MOVIE?? Like, will they have exposition of her ‘INNER GODDESS’ like some odd edgar wright cut aways to a Lizzie McQuire type Anastasia steel!?!? WILL THEY ACTUALLY FILM HIM RIPPING OUT HER TAMPON TO FUCK HER?? (this happens in the book) LIke I needed to know. I had to know. SO I had to see the first movie. I was too curious. AND I wanted to see a legit, from my generation, written fanfiction, adapated for film. Its too groundbreaking, even if you have problems with the story and films how is that not fascinating.

After watching it this is what I got (I did not pay for this movie btw.)

EVERY FANFICTION I EVER READ EVER ALL ROLLED UP INTO ONE META MINDFUCK. Like!??? I have almost a keen adoration for how WEIRD it is to see ON SCREEN lines like “Your biting your lip.” LIKE – thats fanfiction from 2005, the lip bite. The FUCKING. Dialogue of this movie is like a collection of all the terrible coffee shop aus, high school, fanfic soap opera craziness. Or how he just bumps into her at her work and shit!? OR the fanfic issue of a 20-something yr old interviewing the SUPER HOT hotshot bachelor who has tons of money because….why? WHAT DOES HE DO? In fanfic it doesnt matter but in the movie THEY NEVER ADDRESS THIS EITHER>

I MEAN its literally that FIC. The one where theres nothing left of your ship you havent consumed, and this one aint so great but eh its 4am on a tuesday and it has 45 chapters.

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend any writer or reader to watch this film just for the weird TRIP it is. It freaks me out mann its nuts!

The movie literally breaks hundreds of Cinematic rules JUST TO tell the story because its source material is what it is. Theres no introduction to the protagnist, no side introduction to our love interest like a rom con always does and the Meet Cute is isn’t a meet cute, it plays like a PROMPT. And its in the first 3 minutes of the film.

And the Twilight source the fic hangs on can be seen there on screen. Seattle, him saving her from the bike/car, his big rich family compared to her remarried mom (to a golfer not a baseball guy), and her estranged dad whose never around, the weirdness of Christian Grey thats missing that can only be explained by -immortal vampire-. Its insane. They didn’t change any of it. You can see Twilight right there its hilarious.

AND BECAUSE ITS FIC, theres actually, surprisingly, some really good moments? Its few and far between, but I find the bar scene generally funny and charming. Anastasia anyway. Christian is a creepy from first minute to last minute of every movie because what can you do with a non-vampire-vampire character, really? But Anastasia is pretty funny in a way Bella swan never was. I love the whole “Your so bossy, come here, come here, go away go away!” dialogue. FUCKING hilarious. And so unarguable a FANFIC genre of WIT. I like those moments. Or the buisness meeting about the bdsm contract “please turn to page 5 and strike out ‘anal fisting.’” “Are you sure?” “YUP.” (no paraphrasing, she literally says YUP. 10/10 delivery) Also love the texting scenes, reminds me too much of MS though and I immediately felt like trash.

Now, aside from those moments, hands down, terrible fucking plot. But it had terribel fucking plot to begin with.

What I was suprised about was that the film crew and creators DID IN FACT listen to te protests and uproar about the controversy of the content of the film. And I was suprised to see that THEY CHANGED a lot of stuff and cut out a lot of shit too. Christian NEVER touches her unless she says so. There actually a lot of moments stressing the consent thing. Even in the room, he tells her to hold out her hand and test the pain, and se if its ok. If its ever to much, he tells her to say stop, and he will. In fact, we see a lot of “nos” that he adheres to. Whereas in the books hes on he like a grade A rapist. They also add her in negotiating a ton of the terms.

Theres no tampon pulling scene and no inner goddess, much to my dismay/happiness. Lol.

HOWEVER.Aside from terrible plot, after making changes to the controversy, the movie didnt go far enough to differentiate the problematic nature of CHRISTIAN and the lifestyle of BDSM. Because Anna is a stranger of both, both are presented to the audience as BAD. We see bdsm through the lens of someone who USES IT THE WRONG WAY, FOR THE WRONG THINGS, and thats the main idea the movie can seem to target, and the book never bothered to learn. That last red room scene is Confusing at best, since its all consensual and really tame looking to anyone apart of bdsm, and misdirecting at worst to anyone not apart of it. Because its obvious Christian has ACTUAL Issues, but we’re made to believe all BDSM is like that, and its just not true.

TO THE SEQUELS CREDIT, 50SDarker goes a little more into this. Not just with dialogue, but showing how Anna is accepting of and in control of BDSM. She asks for specific thinks and seeks out certain sexual activities and calls him out on the shadier parts of his own personality, But in my opinion, its not enough. Theres too much –between the lines– and for a movie ABOUT this lifestyle, its to important to skim over like they do. Thats probably the most disapointing part.

All in all, its a terrible plot and terrible movie, that doesnt know enough about a material it references, and cant stand alone without its SOURCE material.

Theres way too many helicopter shots of places, and vehicles. Greys idea of romancise seems to be fancy transportation of some sort and his idea of -KINKY- sex is Cunnilingus, missionary, missionary cunnilingus, and missionary with some handcuffs. But its a WILD ride to watch. And has its genenuinly charming moments that can only come from the COMMUNITY of FANFICTION that molded it. As we know, fandom is just as much influenced by the original fiction as it is the headcanons, aus, peronality tropes and almost mandala effect culture the FANS put into it. And I love and adore that secret part of the movies. Dakota Johnson is also super charming and natural as Anna. A Bella swan, oc, induced character, self instert type fanfic pov. And to do that is some acting talent right there. And finally, and I’m probably the ONLY one here, but Im not 100% upset that 50shades got a movie. Because yes, its terrible in a on of fucking ways. But its STILL a fanfic on screen. And thats incredible. Thats why I bought tickets to support the sequel. She may have manipulated the rise to fame, but EL James still showed us the path to that goal. Fanifc to novelist, novelist to billiondollar box office numbers. EL James was ON SET, telling them how to film – HER FANFICTION. Thats a THING now. You cant not take fanfiction as a community and tool seriously now. Not when it made that much money. And hey, look at Superhero movies. We had to sit through too many shit Xmen and Daredevil movies to get an Iron man.

I will sit through a few 50shades to get my fucking favorite fanfics on screen too. Its not like Hollywood has any better stories to put up but Adam Sandler movies.

#it suprises me how many people dont know the fanfiction history of this movie #long post #im probably gonna get so much hate for this #oh well #50shades #50 shades darker #i didnt talk about the actual plot #WS THERE ONE?#that helicopter death scene came out of fucking NO WHERE #and the fucking ms robinsin character kept coming up like a bad soap opera #oh god #too many helicopter shots of enviroments

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