#it’s hell and I wish I could die

[kiwidotcom]

😓😓😓

#i hate myself i hate being an alcoholic #it's ruining my life and i fucking hate it but i can't stop #it just keeps getting worse #and i hate admitting this because the only solution is sobriety and that fucking terrifies me more than anything #but i can't keep doing this #i dont know what to do #i keep telling myself im going to take at least a 2 week break. #and then end up with so many plans #i know i could not drink but it feels impossible #i know thats pathetic as hell i don't know how to explain it #everyone makes not drinking sound so easy i dont understand #why is it so hard #my body is falling apart i wish it would just die #i hate myself #tw alcohol #alcoholic #alcoholism

[ilynpilled]

ijbol im sorry

#jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #me when i lie #what also sends me is moments before the first quote he is like ‘i wish we both had swords and we could die fighting all of them rn’ #‘and take them down to hell with us’ #make up ur mind omfg #‘jaime was not ready to die just yet’ #jaime a literal second later: *experiences symbolic death* #george is soooo funny about him

[lunarrolls]

unfortunately i don’t know enough about the kryn to write this or anything but ever since i made that post discussing the assembly and the dynasty’s attitudes towards genasi i have not been able to stop thinking about an au where ashton gets kidnapped and brought to the bright queen and the hells have to figure out where the fuck their pet rock went. they’re looking in the complete wrong places assuming some random bitch ashton knew got salty with him and stole him meanwhile ashton keeps trying to break out of the palace because They’re Ashton. they have broken seventeen important objects and jumped out of at least four windows trying to get back to everyone else. it doesn’t occur to fearne or fcg to try and scry on him until three days have passed because they have a combined intelligence of 18 <3

#cr #cr3 #ashton greymoore #planar travel #this is truly just a fucking hilarious concept to me #i WISH i could write ANYTHING about it #but i have not watched cr2 and i know fuckall about the kryn #someone cmere and be my kryn expert so i can think more blorbous thoughts #the idea of an increasingly exasperated hells trying to find one of the most visually distinct people in their party simply By Asking #is so fufking funny to me #meanwhile ashton might have the chance to find answers if he let them find him #however his emotional support conspiracy theorists (laudna and orym) aren’t there #so he would rather die than ask any questions or give any personal information ever. fuck off and die you freaky magic people

[sheryl-lee]

i repeat: this is so stupid.

#oh here have 7 DAYS of access to the streamer you PAY MONEY for while traveling. how benevolent of us (the wealthy corporation) ❤️ #what if you’re on a plane? #what’s the point of downloading episodes offline if you seemingly can’t watch netflix outside of your home? #what if you’re a teacher and want to play something at school for your students? #like maybe you could do all of this but you’d have to plan in advance #you can’t just spontaneously open the app you pay for and watch whatever you want????? #and they’re tracking your IP address and forcing you to watch something once a month to remain unblocked??? #what in the orwellian hell IS this #all of this for content that isn’t even that good lmao why are they acting like they’re producing or renewing hq shows/films 🤡 #i wish netflix a very die and i will be cancelling as soon as i can #sameera.txt

[lunaryuwu]

Panic downloading all my fav fics and marked for laters because the kosa bill has me scared that ao3 will be no more

#i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: what the fuck is happening in america #seriously what the hell #if fandom gets taken away i will die/hj #it’s like the one thing that’s keeping me alive rn through all the depression and shit #luna’s ramblings #actually i wish i could download all the pretty fanart #gosh please don’t let all that stuff be gone #stop kosa #kosa bill

[aingeal98]

The fact that Israeli soldiers are raiding the homes of Palestinians families who've just had their children released from the prisons at long last and confiscating any signs of celebration + dispersing family gatherings should be a clue to anyone with a soul that these fascists view any form of Palestinians joy as a threat to their glorious racist state. But of course zionists are going to stick their heads in the sand and pretend like this is just another issue that'll be solved through Hamas being destroyed. Never mind that Hamas is the only reason those Palestinian hostages got released. You can rightfully condemn them for the murder of innocents but the fact remains that those children have finally been freed due to their actions. It doesn't excuse anything, but it does add more condemnation towards the Israeli state. October 7th should never have happened and the fact that capturing Israeli hostages was the only thing that could force Israel to release the women and children it kidnapped is proof that the fascist state must be destroyed in order for actual peace to be found. The Israeli state has made it clear that it will never stop brutalising and tormenting Palestinians unless it is forced to. You can stand against genocide and oppression or you can hope the oppressors grow a conscience after they kill enough enemy children. And even if you do only care about Israeli citizens, you should know that there will be no true peace for them as long as their sense of security is reliant on Palestinian misery. Which it has been since the state's foundation.

#The rage I feel in knowing that October 7th is the only reason Palestine now has the world's attention #Along with being the only reason Israel is willing to release it's hostages #It should have never have come to this. But the world didn't listen to any other way #Peace march? Barely any western coverage. Daily oppression? Nothing. Journalists killed? #Well that's terrible but not enough to actually push for change. #It's sickening that Israeli innocents had to die for the world to pay attention. Because Palestinian innocents weren't enough. #Evil evil hell world. #You know western leaders wish that Israel could have been the tiniest bit less bloodthirsty in response #So that they could keep pretending like Israelis were the only victims in this entire situation and everything else was “too complicated” #I mean just look at that Obama era politician and the vile racism he spewed towards the Muslim vendor #They want Israeli Trump and his band gone so they can go back to quietly supporting atrocities

[rithmeres]

*starts listening to the thg playlist*

augh -1 health

oof -1 health

ugh! -1 health

mmf -1 health

ugh! -1 health

augh -1 health

etc

GOOD that’s the effect i wanted >:)

#i wish so badly that i could annotate it. when will my husband (8tracks annotations) come back from the war #i made a rule that i was not allowed to take any songs from the soundtracks #until it was all finished and then i can pepper the best ones in sparingly #(abraham’s daughter & gale song & everybody wants to rule the world r going on there for sure) #i wanted to make myself get really creative without the crutch of the soundtracks although they r bangers #like we HAVE to start with the woods by daughter because it’s about sisters. #and if you forget that the hunger games is a story about a girl who loves her sister you have lost the plot #o children by nick cave is about children killing and being cleaned up and shipped off on a train. like ok #eat your young is self explanatory #so is kill our way to heaven (really digs into the mentality of a tribute imo) #glory and gore is on there because i genuinely thought lorde made that song for the movie #die first? well that’s katpee to a T (people who call them everlark u are boring and people who call them peeniss that’s too much for me) #(i think katpee is the funniest ship name ever so i’m using it) #who are you really is like who are you. really. but also i have nothing left to lose / see me bare my teeth for you !!!!!!!! #GOSSIP BY MÅNESKIN. FINNICK SONG. SIP THE GOSSIP DRINK TILL YOU CHOKE. #17 by ladytron :| also a finnick song perhaps :| but works for the other victors also :| they only want you when you’re 17 :| #AND THEN FEED THE MACHINE IS SO MUCH FUN RAAAAAAAAA WTF IS A LABOR UNION HEY (HEY) YOU (YOU) FEED THE MACHINE #if you only listen to one song on the playlist is should be that one because its just such a banger #wires by the neighborhood is like help me kill the president we’re gonna send him straight to hell (and it rules) #and then feel something by jaymes young is about a young person who is emotionally damaged beyond repair 🙃 had to end it on that one

[craycraybluejay]

Btw if u steal from the poor, ur going to superhell no matter what 😇 hope that helps

#super hell #next time someone tries to steal from me i am going to fucking smack them with the nearest hard and heavy object #idc if u want it or u think ur just being prankster either. leave MY STUFF ALONE #literally go get a concussion so at least ur too sick to put ur dirty hands on other ppls stuff. #i fucking hate people sometimes #what gives you the right #the audacity #to take what isnt yours and not only that to take it when u likely dont need it from someone who does #ill bash yer fuckin head in if i catch you trying to steal from me DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND????? #jfc i wish i lived in a place where i could defend my shit with a gun. none of these bitches trustworthy. fucking thieves #im so angry im so fucking mad im fucking livid #someone let me hit them pretty pls before i decide to break my wall or my hand whichever goes first #and this wall isnt even my fucking wall cuz i cant afford that either #but oh noooo u dont feel like doing ur job #die die die die die

[skenpiel]

ketchup my delicious little friend

#wish i could carry you everywhere but i dont have the pocket or backpack space for that #make my awesome garbage food taste even better #shoutout to my darling bottomfeeders grill cheese u my ride or die without u i wouldnt have made it theough middle scchool #‘skenp you already didnt make it through middle school you dropped out remember’ well wirhout my bottomfeeders grill cheese i would b dead. #so think abt that next time #anyways. idk where id be without u ketchup baby i could put you on anythinf #i cant believe i saw somebody say ketchup on spaghetti was like weird or abnormal or gross or whatever on here awhile ago…… #like. thats one of the Things u put on pasta. i didnt put anythinf else on pasta until like 2 years ago #if u have pasta u can put pesto or butter or just olive oil which is good and you cna put tomato sauce and u can put ketchup #i ONLY had ketchup on my pasta for at least the first 9 years of my life. wat r u guys talking abt #theyre lovers theyre soulmates theyre meant to be together……. what the hell else do u use ketchup for if u think thats weird ???

[mossflower]

‘i don’t even have a hangover’ she said, blissfully unaware of the horrors she was about to go through

#i did not make it to my lectures. i was busy curled up on my bathroom floor wishing for the room to stop spinning and the lights to shut up #i’m gonna have to write an email now!! bc i can’t present on friday because i’m going home!! #i knew it was too good to be true. i knew it! i got maybe half an hour of peace before it kicked in and i wanted to die #next time i have the bright idea to drink on a sunday night someone needs to physically stop me i’m not joking #it was like. every so often i’d get thirty seconds where i could manage to get up and move and then i’d need half an hour to recover #0/10 experience fucking hell #morganposting

[narcan-necromancer]

#music #classic bring me the horizon #follow you #bmth #cross your heart and hope to die promise me you'll never leave my side #lovegalore #bring me the horizon #cross my heart and hope to die promise you I'll never leave your side #you can drag me through hell if it meant i could hold your hand #i will follow you because I'm under your spell #Michael #Spotify #yearning #i wish someone loved me like this #like i love them

[fragmentedblade]

Argenti is actually pretty Lancelotcoded, he is deranged and even suicidal. I adore him

#I didn't expect to like him this much considering what I had seen in leaks and trailers #but he is actually not just a cringe fail man with a flare (which is also good) #he is also a wet sad man trying desperately to get close enough to something dead that he'd get a glimpse of it and its light again #He can have a piece of my heart for this after all #However‚ yet again‚ why am I like this lol #He started talking about how getting as close to death as possible is the way he has to get the shadow of the shadow #of the probable hallucination of the echo of Idrila‚ and that's the path he must walk because seeing them even if it's not real is his wish #and I could feel myself grow fonder with every word. Awww of course I'll let you try to die in the pursue of your wish. Of course #What's with me and borderline when not straight up suicidal characters what the hell #Anyway... Get in the car. I'll take you and Blade get some cookies or popcorn‚ or whatever you want. Blade's already in the car just hop in #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later #I honestly was expecting him to lean more towards Galah.ad or Perziva.l perhaps. That he has the Lancelo.t air has won me over for sure #I'm sorry call me basic but Lancelo.t is my favourite

[howdyfriend]

it's late and all I can think about is cavum

#IVE BEEN DOING TBE LEVELS AND REREADING THE MASTERPOST AND SKDKFKGJGJ #HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER #COULD YOU IMAGINE #LIVING IN NOTHINGNESS FOR SO LONG #THINKING THAT YOU KILLED ONE OF THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU #AND IT TAKES BECOMING SOMETHING ALMOST COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE TO FINALLY SEE THE TRUTH #AND BE REUNITED WITH HER #AND IMAGINE GROWING UP KNOWING YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO SURVIVE #KNOWING YOU WERE MEANT TO DIE WITH THE REST OF YOUR PEOPLE #and sometimes he wishes he did #and it just makes me want to cry #fucking hell my poor cavum #fuck tempus I should take care of him #but like fucking god #he did what he thought was right and suffered for it #i jusf diifkgjgjgj #can you give shadows a hug? i want to give him a hug #moleman arg #cavum

[chromotps]

The thing about Ace/Sabo is that the ship is less about them being brothers but more like them sharing a childhood friendship? That had the potential of becoming something more in the future. Except it didn’t, for obvious reasons. And yeah not everyone’s a fan of that, but people also like the raised by wolves/son of a noble dynamic they had as children. While I agree Sabo does kind of feel like he was stuck to Ace&Luffy as an afterthought, with a piece of chewed-out gum — his existence doesn’t… I don’t know, feel out of place? I also enjoy how kinda tragic his character is, and how he carries that tragedy with him? In the form of Ace’s devil fruit (Sabo also canonically hallucinates and there was an instance where he admitted to hearing Ace’s voice, during his fight with Burgess? so yeah, not everyone’s cup of tea again but I’m a huge fan of hurt/comfort so having a character go through a psychotic depressive episode because of the insane guilt he feels? Just, yeah. Plus there’s something really poetic about him literally eating Ace’s DF and still considering it „Ace’s powers” etc) and the way I see Sabo/Lu is through Ace/Lu (and partially Ace/Sabo) anyway. Because Sabo is trying to fill out the role of an older brother/friend for Luffy that he’s well aware is impossible to fill — because nothing ever will be the same for Luffy. Nothing or no one could even come close to making it up for Ace’s loss to Luffy, and Sabo knows he’s kind of a cheap copy of that (figuratively and literally lmfao, as I know people have been calling him low-budget Ace), but still he tries to? And the fact that Luffy is technically his only remaining family (or at least someone he willingly considers family). And I kind of see it as a parallel to how Ace’s approach to Luffy changed after Sabo’s „death”? Because Sabo was the „kinder” brother, the nicer one, the smarter one, it was usually him who took Luffy’s side whenever Ace was annoyed with him? And the one who explicitly asked Ace to look after Luffy — which then was one of the direct reasons why Ace changed the way he treated Luffy, forced him to be more patient/learn to love and eventually led to Ace willingly becoming the „older brother” figure for Luffy. I’m in no way trying to convince you to like Sabo, don’t get me wrong!! I’m just trying to show an example how Ace/Sabo isn’t necessarily brotherly either (like, I don’t know, Sabo/Luffy seems to be?). And it’s just that while I’m first and foremost a huge Ace/Lu enjoyer I also think Sabo did have a significant impact on their relationship both before and after Ace’s death.

((!! sorry i took a while to reply! i made that post before work on Friday and then got slammed until just now fdghjgk)

the odd thing is, I mostly agree!! I think I had to vent bc i saw ppl (a few specific sabo fans haha) on twitter acting like luffy would feel nothing toward ace but be obsessed with sabo. and, lol, no. but what YOU said makes total sense. like, yes, Ace + Sabo definitely has a different, more involved feeling to me than Ace & Luffy. I've had some ships in the past that fit the raised by wolves/runaway noble trope... the charm of the noble feeling like "this is the only person I feel like I can really be myself around" and the wild one thinking "i like spending time with this noble—they're tougher/kinder/funnier than i gave them credit for" AND/OR "society has always rejected me, but this 'cultured' person accepting me heals that pain a little bit"—all of those things are really charming.

Maybe if we'd seen more about how ace and sabo became friends, or if there were more emphasis on sabo's acceptance being what helped ace's anger (instead of, just from how i saw things, it being mostly luffy's unconditional warmth toward ace that did it?) then I'd personally be more feral about that dynamic, haha. But it's like you said, I guess it all depends on what we each connect with. I dont find tragedy alone compelling... I'm depressed enough already as it is LMAO!! if I think too hard about how viscerally sad Sabo only remembering Ace after he'd died is, my brain just shuts down. But I've got really good friends who would EAT THAT UP. Like, yeah, it is beautifully poetic... hahaha now i'm laughing thinking about my friends who were really into Hamlet and Romeo & Juliet finding out about Sabo & Ace and being obsessed, ahaha (they're not so into One Piece tho, only jjk... at least, for now!! 😈)

it's hard to put into words, but there's something about Sabo being a revolutionary vs. ace and luffy being pirates, that kind of explains why my brain sees A+L as very very very different than A&S or L&S. But like, that's just my brain and how my heart likes to focus on characters with really codependent relationships/dreams/themes, hahaha...

#also if we're talking tragedy #so many people have said it better than i ever could but #the beauty and drama of marineford #i live in denial and usually like imagining a timeline where ace was severaly wounded but lived through it #but canon #gosh #ace dying in luffy's arms bc luffy was in danger and he had to protect him #and he only had to protect him bc luffy was too weak from fighting his way through hell for ace #the love was there and it mattered and it didn't change anything but it mattered etc etc i'm WAILING #i don't know i'm bad at explaining why one of those tragedies makes my brain feel things and the other one doesn't quite as much #i wish i could express it better!!! sometimes i'm so frustrated with how i feel like i'm not really getting across the point i meant to #ace had been looking for that love his whole life!! he died KNOWING he had it!! (also like i didn't mention whitebeard here but #all that love ace received being the exact reason he had to turn back....) #and luffy!! luffy knowing he mattered to ace so much--ace loved him so much--he would die for him.... #and going forward with that rock-solid certainty that he's loved in the new world #i'm going to fight a traffic sign. i'm at a loss. #ANYWAY i don't know if this was interesting or annoying as an answer but....... hopefully it was at least a little fun? #and if we just connect with different things in one piece then--not too surprising #with how big the story is!!! #the beauty of fandom etc etc different perspectives coming together and all that #meta #op #asl