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#i wish netflix a very die and i will be cancelling as soon as i can
sheryl-lee · 1 year
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i repeat: this is so stupid.
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quartings · 1 year
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College Adventures Special Episode VIII: Interview with Lauren Faust!
I promised I'd get to meet a big name in animation, and here she is! This semester I managed to get into a class taught by THE Lauren Faust, creator of MLP: FiM and DC Superhero Girls!
Sadly, I'm not a die-hard fan of any of her series, but I tried my best to get and compile information that fans would be interested in!
Back when she was working on MLP, Lauren was grateful that her fellow TV coworkers gave her freedom to tell the story she wanted to tell instead of letting to toy marketers bully her. (According to my friend, the show sold out a lot more once Lauren left, though)
A change from executives she wound up listening to: Originally Pinkie was a pegasus and Rainbowdash wan't, because Lauren thought wings would make Pinkie's hyperactivity stand out even more. Their species eventually got swapped in the final cut of course.
Lauren really wanted DC Superhero Girls and Wander over Yonder to be 22min shows, but executives forced her to make them 11min. Shame, because I do think being 22min would have been better for both.
A big reason of why Lauren always wants to make "Girl shows starring girl characters made by girl staff" is because executives often tell her that animation is for boys only and to make her shows more "boy-oriented" (Seriously, with people still like that in this day and age, it's really a lose-lose scenario)
I also got to see the pilot animatic for her rejected Netflix series Toil and Trouble! I don't think I'm allowed to say too much about it, so I'll provide a non-spoiler review!
The pilot was really fun and the animation+writing much more mature than Lauren's previous shows. It did a good job at making the characters really likeable, too! Toil is a great protag and her voice actress did an amazing job! My only issues are- the first 5 minutes are VERY exposition-heavy about the rules of magic, ghosts, and familiars. The third act goes by a bit too fast, too- Toil literally says the moral of the story in way too much detail, then solves the problem pretty easily soon after. I wish the pilot was split into two episodes, so both these issues could be automatically solved- it would also give the show's many side characters room to breathe, too!
Despite Toil and Trouble being cancelled, Lauren is pushing on ahead and continuing to work on more unannounced projects!
Her favorite series that she's worked on is Foster's Home, because she feels that she and her husband Craig both contributed equally to it! She also really liked the relative freedom she had in directing action on DC Superhero Girls.
I was surprised to hear she didn't have that great a time working on MLP because of the creative restrictions from higher-ups. But she's still really happy and grateful the show got such a dedicated fanbase!
While she's fine with fandoms, she dislikes the idea of pandering to them with fanservice or validating headcanons. She said if there was any of that in her shows, someone else on the creative team did it, not her.
Her storyboarders on MLP originally didn't take their job seriously because they were making a "little kids show", so Lauren had to whip them into shape and make them try harder.
Re. Foster's Home: The "Frankie is an imaginary friend" theory is false. None of that was ever the intention from the writers.
For DC Hero Girls: Originally, Cheetah's dad was supposed to have hunting trophies in his room. But because British censorship laws mean you can't show trophy hunting in cartoons (even as a bad thing the bad guys do), they had to negotiate it down to make sure none of the trophies were of endangered animals in the final product.
But yeah, those are the highlights from my time with Lauren Faust! Hope you all liked it- and if you do want to hear more about Toil and Trouble, let me know! I'll see what I can do! But that's not all- I've actually been scheduled to meet up with another very famous animation showrunner in the coming weeks, so expect another big interview post very soon!
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cower-before-power · 3 years
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Piety
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Summary: Gojo has sinned, and he will repent at the altar of his beloved
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x F!Reader
TW: swearing, implied sexual content, idolatry
Link to A03 here
A/N: First time writing for everyone’s favourite sensei, hope I did him justice. This man can step on me. Enjoy, sweet potatoes!
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“You’re late.”
He laughs softly from the doorway. “I told you I would be.”
“I know,” you say, your eyes focused on the rising moon out the window. “But you’ve always said I was the exception.”
“You are,” you can hear walk over to the closet; next, the rustling of clothes as he sheds his uniform. “But Yuuji-kun is doing so well I got overexcited and just had to stay a bit longer. When I was finished with him, I was planning on rushing straight home to you, but then I ran into my other darling first years. They wanted me to watch them fight. Their training for the exchange is coming along nicely too.”
“Hmmmmm,” you hum, rocking on your heels, “good reasons to be late, I suppose.”
You can’t help but let a little irritation creep into your voice. You’re not angry with him, not truly, but you can’t help be a little annoyed. Your lives were so busy it was often hard to find time to actually act like a couple. The two of you had set aside tonight to finally go out together, a real date. You’d made reservations at a fancy restaurant and even got dressed up for once. Not that you didn’t love your late night routine of takeout, Netflix and sex, but it was nice every once and a while to get out.
To pretend everything was normal. To pretend you were normal.
So when he texted you that he was sorry but things came up, could you please cancel the reservation-you couldn’t help but feel....cast aside.
You loved Gojo’s dedication to his students and his passion for his cause. You were proud of his strength, his powers. But sometimes it felt like you were a planet orbiting around his brilliant sun, competing with all the others for his warmth and light. He was the best, and was always needed by someone somewhere. You knew it was what you were in for when you put your heart in his hands, but it was still sometimes a bitter pill to swallow.
“You’re upset with me,” he says, and you finally turn to face him. He’s out of his uniform and only in a pair of dark sweatpants; your favourite look. You have a strong urge to run to him and bury yourself in his chest. You stay put.
“No not at you, per say,” you run your hands through your hair, taking out the style you’d coaxed it into earlier. “Just at life, I guess. Things are always crazy around here, but they seem to be getting even wilder and it just makes it even harder for us to spend quality time together.”
“You’ve never complained before.”
You sigh, tugging at the straps of your dress. “I know, I know. I’m just in a mood today, I guess. I was really looking forward to going out, and when you texted me, I just felt, I don’t know, shuffled aside.”
He stays quiet, face unreadable. It’s unusual and quite frankly rather unsettling. You feel guilt suddenly bubble hotly in your stomach.
“I mean, it’s fine! What you were doing was very important! Yuuji needs all the training he can get, poor boy. Plus, Megumi and Nobara miss you, they’ve noticed you haven’t been around a lot and they probably just wanted to see you be proud of them, even if they’ll never admit it. I’m being silly, I mean, who cares if we missed the reservation, the students and their training is definitely more important than going out with me-“
Your words die on your lips as you find yourself suddenly pressed flush against the chest you were just admiring moments earlier. You blink and gasp-bright blue eyes are staring intently down into yours. It always stuns you momentarily to see them. They are like sapphires; not only beautiful in shine and hue, but rare and precious. They only show up when he’s feeling particularly loving and mushy, or the very limited occasions when he gets serious.
You have a feeling it’s the latter.
“What have I told you about being too kind, angel?” He scolds you, shaking his head as he cups your face in his large, warm hands. “Just come out and say I’m the asshole here.”
“But-“
“Hush now,” his voice grows stern, the tone he uses when he’s got you at his mercy. You obey on instinct, snapping your lips shut. “I shouldn’t have stayed so long at school, and I definitely shouldn’t have assumed that cancelling would be okay without asking. I’ve never, ever wanted you to feel like you’re playing second string, and I’ve gone and done just that.”
You frown. “I don’t feel like that all the time, please don’t think I-“
“Once is one time too many,” he interrupts. His fingers smooth over your skin, stroking the frown from your face. “I clearly fucked up. I let my angel, my reason to live, my sweet darling thief who stole my heart, down.”
(You feel warm. So he is feeling mushy as well as serious.)
He replaces his fingers with his lips, featherlight brushes over your skin that make your knees begin to wobble. “It’s okay,” you breathe, eyes slipping shut so he can kiss your eyelids gently. “You didn’t mean to.”
He laughs. “Sweetness, you are shit at being mad at someone. This is the part where you call me a prick and make me grovel for forgiveness.”
“You’ve never groveled in your life,” you hum. The irritation you’d been feeling earlier is melting away under his gentle ministrations. He hadn’t meant to hurt you. He sometimes forgets the two of you didn’t always operate on the same wavelength. He sometimes forgets that everyone didn’t operate on his wavelength.
“Another exception I’d make for you,” he nibbles at your bottom lip, and you can’t help but chase him, trying to catch him in a proper kiss. He just laughs and sweeps a thumb over where he’s just nipped. “I’ll even get on my knees.”
The image of the worlds most powerful shaman on his knees before you sends a shiver up your spine. And the perceptive bastard doesn’t miss it. He pulls away, peeling himself from your body with a sticky slowness that causes the air around you to heat and thicken. He sinks to his knees before you, palms upturned in perfect piety.
“Oh goddess divine, please accept my humble apologies,” the words drip from his lips like a sacred prayer. “I have displeased you, and I seek to make amends.”
“Only you could apologize and make fun of someone at the same time,” you murmer, feeling your cheeks begin to flush. “You’re an idiot.”
“An idiot who only wishes to repent for his sins,” he grins lazily up at you, and his upturned hands are suddenly on your legs, beneath your dress. His thumbs begin to rub circles on your inner thighs. Time stops; your next breath lodges in your throat.
“Tell me what I must do,” his voice is smooth like the silk of his blindfold, slipping over you. He leans in and presses a kiss just above your right knee. His mouth is hot against your skin.
“Ummmm....” you try to speak, but nothing comes out but a choked whimper.
“I’m waiting very patiently,” another kiss, this time slightly higher. Your brain begins to malfunction. You open and close your mouth, trying to get the words out, but there’s nothing. Nothing but his warm breath and deft hands. Nothing but crystalline blue darkened with hunger. Nothing but need beginning to boil in your blood.
“I’ll just have to decide the form of atonement myself,” he murmurs, skimming his nose along your inner thigh. His hands slowly slide up your legs, your dress is coming up with them....
And then you both hear it.
The loud grumbling of your very empty belly.
He pulls back and blinks up at you. You stare back, mouth open. And then you both burst into raucous laughter.
“What a mood killer,” he grins, sitting back on his heels. “I’ve never been cockblocked by your stomach before.”
“Sorry!” You rub the offending area, still giggling. “I guess in all my stewing I forgot I was hungry.”
He’s on his feet in a flash. “Well we can’t have you starve on me, can we, sweetness? I know, how about I cook for us?”
Your eyes light up. Gojo is an excellent cook, but he rarely does it due to his busy and exhausting schedule. And his bad habit of filling up on sweets. “Really?”
“Sure,” he’s already across the room, throwing on a shirt and his blindfold. “Tell you what, you go have a nice hot soak in the tub while I cook. I’ll bring you a glass of wine and something from my extra secret sweets stash to tide you over till I’m done.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Something from the secret stash? I’m honoured.”
He grins. “Another exception for my angel.” He suddenly claps his hands together. “Oh, and tomorrow we’ll play hookey! Go to Tokyo for the whole day, and I’ll spoil the absolute shit out of you. The kids can survive a day without us.”
“You already spoil me,” you laugh, shaking your head. “I’ll just be happy to spend a whole day just us.”
“No arguments!” He wags his finger. “I will drop mad cash on you and you will enjoy it.”
“Ugh you are such a dork,” you roll your eyes, but your heart fills with love for this silly man. You know he really is sorry and is trying to make it up to you. He’s an idiot on occasions, but he’s your idiot, and you wouldn’t trade him for the world.
You make to move towards the bathroom, but the lingering feel of his touch on your skin reminds you.
“Hey, what happens after the bath and food?”
Before you can blink, he’s back in front of you, gathering you against him. His smile is absolutely feral, and you can feel his smouldering gaze even through the black fabric now covering his eyes.
And his lips are descending on yours, hot and hungry. He licks into your mouth, swallowing the moan that’s threatening to escape. There’s nothing left but him. His touch, his taste, his scent. He is everywhere, in every sweep and valley of your body, in every corner of your pounding heart. He consumes you like fire consumes a forest, and you are happy to burn, burn, burn.
All too soon he pulls away, and you are left empty. Bereft. Lost. But he leans back in, his lips brushing your ear, his voice dark with reverent desire.
“I’ll worship at the altar of my divine goddess until my penance is paid a hundred fold.”
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tidymalism · 3 years
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How to Start a Low-Buy Year
I started a low-buy year for 2021. TL;DR: it’s been easier than I thought it would be.
What's a low-buy year?
It's a year of buying way less stuff. It’s essentially a more lenient variant of its strict cousin, the No-Buy Year. While the latter pretty much only allows for the purchase and consumption of food and essentials, you stipulate your own rules on a low-buy and can, for example, buy new shoes if you need them, purchase an app if it it's reasonable and justifiable, or get an occasional meal out.
Both schools are essentially methods to reign in your consumer habits and bid farewell to excessive spending. The reasons for doing so are personal and manifold. Maybe you have too much stuff at home and you don't know where to put it all. Maybe you're planning to downsize to a smaller place. Perhaps you're trying to get a grip on credit card debt, shopping addiction, or a tendency to hoard. Or maybe you were unexpectedly laid off and have simply had to cut way back on spending.
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Whatever your situation and motivation may be, having a framework for cutting costs can set you up for success. Here are five steps to get you going on your low-buy journey:
1. Assess your budget and identify big expenditures in non-essential spending categories.
If you haven't been keeping a budget, you can refer to old bank and credit card statements to get a good idea of where you typically drop money.
I’ve used a budget application called Banktivity for over ten years, so it was super easy to pull up a report to see what my biggest non-essential spending categories were (fashion, cosmetics, and going out).
2. Set your rules.
After you identify your spending weaknesses, define your own rules for those categories. Do you need to cut back on hobby supplies? Books, apps, media? Bar-hopping or Starbucks? Look closely at whatever your personal weakness might be, and then think about what you can scratch.
In my particular case, I decided to cut spending on beauty products, clothing and accessories, eating out, and subscriptions. Here's what my rules look like for the year in those categories:
I may only purchase refills of cosmetics or skincare I truly run out of and need again for my daily regimen.
I may not purchase any clothing, shoes, or accessories, but I may use two vouchers I have, and I may purchase a bespoke item that was ordered one year ago if and when it finally arrives.
I may only get two takeaways or inexpensive meals out per month (this has been easy so far, as we're still in lockdown and no restaurants or pubs are open anyway).
I am only allowed to keep paid subscriptions to things I use multiple times a week. This turned out to be Microsoft Office, Spotify, and Netflix. Everything else was cancelled.
3. Remind yourself why you're doing a low-buy year.
Stay motivated. It's important to remember you have a reason for going low-buy. Be it abstinence until you've found a job again, or saving for financial independence, creating a tidier home with less clutter, or chipping away at your student loan or credit card debt. Remember your reason, and envision a successful outcome in your mind’s eye!
4. Avoid temptation.
If eating out was your thing and you've decided to totally cut back on it, set yourself up for success by making it easy to eat at home! You can do that by meal-planning, cooking ahead and meal-prepping for all those weeknights you feel too lazy to cook, and by organising your grocery shopping in advance.
If you are a shopaholic, you'll want to unsubscribe from all those newsletters and marketing emails you constantly get about sales. Ridding your inbox of this consumer click bait is a first big step in avoiding temptation! You’ll soon discover you will not die if you don't keep up with the bi-weekly new collections at Zara, or the latest drop on Net-a-Porter.
5. Enjoy your newly-won free time.
You're going to have more time on your hands when you're not shopping, browsing, scrolling, and pining for new stuff. Take a walk. Read that stack of books you've been meaning to read for forever. Call your grannie. Start a new blog. Teach the dog some tricks. Learn to code. Clean out the cellar. Take a nap. Or go volunteer for a cause you care about. 
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So far this year, going low-buy has been less painful than I would have expected. I was very quick to replace my online shopping habits with new things like taking online courses and blogging. And while being in the midst of a pandemic is horrific and we all wish it would end, it has actually made it easier to buckle down on spending: having far fewer places to go has equated to less opportunity and need to spend money.
Does doing a low-buy year sound too daunting to you? You don’t have to do a whole year. Consider a low-buy week or a low-buy month instead. See how it goes, how much you saved, or if you need to tweak your rules. Leave a comment if you have any tips!
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danzinora-switch · 4 years
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A Worthy Cause
I’ve long harbored the belief that everyone has a cause or issue that they’re best suited for. When I read stories about people who visit the elderly in nursing homes, or engage in prison ministry, or march to a protest they believe in 100% I am always in awe of their commitment. Some people are very passionate about addressing homelessness. Some are equally passionate about LGBT youth. Some devote their lives to helping disabled veterans. Some travel the world to provide aide in developing nations. Some want to save the environment. Everyone has gifts and strengths and I believed everyone has a different cause or mission where they can use those unique gifts and strengths (not that I believe everyone becomes a die-hard advocate, but that there is a particular advocacy for everyone).
I’ve also wondered about when I would finally learn what mine was.
As heart-wrenching as any cause is, I do have a tendency towards apathy and cynicism. Compassion fatigue sets in extremely quickly for me. My nihilistic side often wins out whenever the news plays yet another disaster, or tragedy, or chronic problem in society. Caretaking is not my forte. My heart doesn’t actually go out to so many marginalized groups. While I understand that problems need to be collectively addressed, my affective empathy is still pretty low. After all the protests from 2015 to present, and my college years, I began to think that nothing would ignite my soul like it did for so many other people marching to so many things.
And then Nickelodeon canceled Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Honestly, it may sound really small in comparison to all the great causes I’ve mentioned: you won’t get fired up about poverty, women’s rights, or injustice, but a kid’s show does it for you? Are you that shallow? THERE ARE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA!
And yet, I’m doing things I’ve NEVER done before: I’m signing petitions, I’m donating money, I’m active on social media, I got a TWITTER for crying out loud. I’m sending emails, telling my friends and coworkers what’s happening, making content and if we had in-person protests for this I would 100% make a sassy poster and be there. I don’t feel that fire dying anytime soon, either, which is amazing.
Maybe I am shallow. Or maybe the small causes are important, too. Maybe the big issues ignite my cynicism and will always be there despite our progress, but for this one, small, thing yes maybe I CAN make a difference. God knows I want to.
Storytelling has always been a part of me. I’ve written little stories since I was a kid. I started video editing at 14 and discovered fandoms at 16. I went to film school. I’ve been in love with movies and TV shows and trailers for most of my life. I’ve even been on the Nickelodeon lot. Most of the shows I love had already ended their run by the time I found them - Firefly, Star Trek: TOS, and Hogan’s Heroes to name a poignant few. Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the first show I’ve been this obsessed with that is actually CURRENT - and I’m alive here and now to actually do something about this crummy decision.
When asked if I could go back in time and change one thing, my answer for the longest time was ‘to give Hogan’s Heroes a series finale’ or ‘Star Trek more seasons’. But the past week has offered me a strange perspective: I would change my answer to ‘make sure Rise doesn’t get canceled’ but I can’t commit to that because IT’S NOT OVER. This isn’t the past, this is NOW. We have the chance to alter the timeline. No wishful thinking, just action. It’s... exhilarating, and I think I finally understand what all the other people protesting for change feel.
For such a tumultuous year, Rise is something good and precious. The world is literally going to shit, but being able to sit down and simply enjoy a wholesome, hilarious, and well-done cartoon has been an immense joy. I’ve felt like a kid again, laughing off all the struggles of the adult world for 20 minutes at a time. This show single-handedly inspired me to edit amvs again, a hobby that put me on the path to film school but that I had not indulged in for 3 years. It also snapped me out of a daze and gave me writing projects again. I’ve been able to share the show with my mother, and it keeps us connected even 5 states away. And I’m not the only one - I’ve seen so many other wonderful people in this fandom who were also inspired, lifted out of darkness, and brightly engaged by this humble show. It has actually changed lives.
And maybe that’s something we forget as we get caught up in all the latest newsworthy angst. That at times when humanity was going through darkness, it was the little things that kept us going. Dancing. The movies. Looking forward to the next issue of a comic book. That one pet or houseplant that you have to keep alive that becomes your reason for staying alive. A funny bird outside your window. Let me tell you what happened at lunch today!
Perhaps the small issues are just as important as the big issues. It’s probably not even a competition. But for me, I’m glad I’ve found my cause. I’m glad I finally get to experience this passionate fire. It seems there IS something I’m suited for, after all. I’m not an apathetic monster. I’m not a cold robot. There are things in this world I care deeply about.
So thank you @nickelodeon, @netflix ; this warrior just found her spirit.
#saverottmnt 
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lady-alayne · 5 years
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All multiples of 2 for the TV show asks 💖
ohhh that’s a lot! thanks babe! answers are under the cut
2. if you could have saved one TV show from cancellation, which one would it be?Pushing Daisies, hands down. It ended too soon and on a huge cliffhanger!!! I’ll never find peace. What’s up with the piemaker’s dad???
4. are there any shows you wish could just be cancelled already?Honestly, and I know how weird this sounds coming from me, but Game of Thrones. They have killed, raped and defiled everything I ever loved about this show and it needs to end.
6. which shows do you think are underrated and need more love?Better Call Saul, but I also like that we are such a tiny fandom.
8. do you prefer week-to-week content, or just binging all in one go?BINGING IT ALL.
10. what’s one show you thought you’d love but turned out to really hate?there are SO many shows like that. Most recently: you, sick note. And I mean really hate.
12. have you ever watched a show just for a specific actor? did you enjoy it?I think 85% of all shows I only watch for a specific actor. Most recently I gave BoJack Horseman another chance because of Will Arnett and Aaron Paul and I LOVE it.
14. do you tend to stick to one type of TV show (eg, short-form comedy), or are you into many different genres?I’m into many different genres.
16. do you feel like there are any underrated TV show formats?Idk the mockumentary has kind of gotten out of fashion I think, which is sad because I always liked that format.
18. have you ever drawn fanart for a show?no, because I cannot draw. I’ve made gifs tho, does that count?
20. Netflix, Hulu, or Prime originals?I don’t really care.
22. if you could write your own TV show, what would it be like?it would definitely be like 80% women in the cast, female directors, female producers, everything female. but it wouldn’t be this “wow this is a show about women by women for women portraying women’s lives!” it would just be this really cool story of… people. who do cool shit. they just all happen to be women. like maybe a team of scientists works on genetic engineering and discovers something huge and then they don’t know what to do with it. publish their research, because it could help millions of people, but then other scientists could change their formula and use it for evil? or burn the lab notes and never speak of it again because humanity is too selfish and shitty to handle it? sell it to the military? or to some rich weirdo? of course every scientist on the team has a different idea and over the first season we explore their characters and back stories and what made them come to the conclusion that their idea is the best idea and how their disagreement influences the group dynamic. damn I’d watch that.
24. how do you feel about bottle episodes?omg I love them. there’s the famous Breaking Bad episode “Fly”, but let’s not forget The one where no one’s ready", one of my favourite Friends episodes.
26. favourite TV show theme song?That’s though! I like This Life from SoA, but also the song from Mayans MC (don’t remember what it’s called). And the one from BoJack Horseman because it’s really sad and heartbreaking.
28. who would be your dream cameo on your favourite show?AARON PAUL ON BETTER CALL SAUL
30. what’s one show you could probably write a 2,000 word essay on, and what would be your topic?well lol I did write a bunch of essays! One was on the construction of femininity, masculinity and sexuality in the black wedding (5,000 words), one was on the male gaze in SoA (2,000 words), and my 18,000 word dissertation was on the respresentaion of motehrhood in GoT, SoA and Scandal. Which made me fall in love with Gemma all over again because she’s so real and flawed and I love her.
32. what’s one show you could watch over and over?I always watch everything over and over again. I have no concept of “casually watching something and then moving on”. I am currently on my fourth watch of BoJack Horseman. In a row. I have watched Better Call Saul at least four times this year. I recently started watching SoA again.
34. what are your top 5 shows right now?Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad, BoJack Horseman, Friends (that one is always there), Arrested Development
what TV character would you die for?36. James Morgan McGill, Esq. And child/teenage BoJack Horseman.
38. do you prefer hour long episodes, or 30 minute?I think it depends on the format.
40. is there a show coming out soon that you’re really excited about?yeeeesss good omens!
42. what’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever watched a show in one sitting?I once spent 37.5 hours watching how I met your mother.44. if you could replace any actor on TV in playing their role, who would you like to play and why?like... replace with myself? well I don’t think I could do anyone justice, you know? part of the reason I love to many characters is because they are played so wonderfully. but if I have to choose... Kim Wexler. Sorry, Rhea! I love you! But I want to kiss Bob Odenkirk. although now that I think of it. Sansa Stark or Daenerys.
46. do you prefer to watch TV alone or with friends?omg. alone. other people only distract me.48. are there any shows your friends love but you aren’t interested in?no, my friends all have different tastes.50. what’s one TV cliche you love?I don’t know if that’s a cliche, but i like live audiences. Some say it’s very 90s, but I like the laughter and the cheers. I love it when they have a famous guest star and the audience cheers for like 2 minutes, but the guest star obvisouly has to stay in character so has to act silently until the audience has stopped cheering and they can say “hello”. I love that. It’s so wild.
Thanks again love!
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hoodmara · 6 years
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Here *Nick Mara*
Lmao this was out of nowhere but I’ve just had this in my head for awhile.
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‘Is this how it’s always going to be’, y/n thought. She had just drove an hour and a half down I-5 to get to Nick’s place, because he just couldn’t get all of his emotion out over the phone. It’s not that she hated the situation, because it was very clear that she would do anything for him. The two became each other’s ‘ride or die’ partners pretty much from the moment they met. The only thing y/n couldn’t stand was the fact that her usual 20 minute drive to the house had gone up to almost two hours. Thankfully, she had finally made it and was preparing herself for the mess of a man that would soon appear in front of her. Walking up to the door, she checked the handle to see if it was unlocked, which it was.
“For a group that complains about their lack of privacy, y’all sure are lenient with the way you protect your house” she yelled, walking through the door and shutting it behind her. She kicked her shoes off into the pile on her left and made sure to actually lock the door.
“Upstairs” she heard nick yell back. Taking her time, she sauntered up the steps. She passed each room, peering in to see if anyone else was home. She saw Austin, completely enthralled by the final fantasy game he was playing on his television, only able to shoot a quick nod her way without ever taking his eyes off the screen. Everyone else seemed to be either in the garage studio or out on the town. That was with the exception of a familiar Italian, who’s door was shut. A blue neon light was coming from under the cracks along with some Bryson Tiller melodies.
“Knock, knock” y/n sweetly said, turning the door knob slowly. She was met by the boy laying on his back, in bed and staring at the ceiling. It was hard for her to see him so broken up over the same girl, but she kept trying to mend the broken pieces.
“Hi” nick sighed softly, his words sounding sadder than y/n ever expected. Her heart broke as she saw his vulnerable state. As she looked around his room, she saw a pile of shattered glass and a picture of nick and lexy laying in the center of it. Clothes were thrown everywhere and under a pair of gym shorts, she could see a small silver necklace with a cursive ‘N’ charm peeking out.
It wasn’t normal for Nick and Alexys to fight like this. They only fought like this one other time, and that was when they broke up for two months. But this..was something different. Nick didn’t cry last time or break things, because he knew he fucked up and it was time for him to deal with that. This time, no one was at fault. The relationship just wasn’t working and it seemed like one side of it no longer found joy in the other.
Y/n walked over to the bed and sat down next to Nick’s head. She ran her fingers over his forehead before scratching softly at the front of his scalp. Finally being comforted, Nick curled up fetal style and rolled into y/n’s legs. Scooting farther in, y/n picked up the boy’s head softly and laid it in her lap, stroking his dark locks in a slow motion.
“I said I was sorry” he whispered, trying to choke back the tears that were threatening to fall.
“I know, sweetheart, I know you did” y/n replied.
“I hurt her first, and I know that, but why did she come back if she knew she was just gonna leave?” Y/n could feel teardrops seeping through her leggings as Nick spoke.
“You can’t blame her. I know its hard, but you both hadn’t come to a true conclusion of what your relationship was. You can’t blame yourself at this point either, because you worked on yourself just like she asked you to and you kept your word. Nick, baby, it’s no one’s fault. I think your clock just stopped ticking” It was hard for her to tell him the truth, but y/n knew that was the reason why he needed her so badly. She was the only one who kept him in check, even when it was hard to do.
“I loved her so much, y/n. She was my everything for so long”
“I know”
“Did she even love me at all?”
“How could she not? Even if you do dumb stuff sometimes, you’re still you and in my opinion, it’s pretty hard not to love you” There was no truer sentence than the one y/n had just said. Nick was an idiot a lot of the time. He got mad at stupid stuff, he was a secret klutz so he fell over everything and anything, and he never knew what to say, so he’d just say the first thing that came to his mind which was most often not the right thing. Despite all this, or better yet, because all of this, y/n loved Nick.
She loved him so much that she was willing to sit in rush hour traffic to try and mend his broken heart. She loved him enough to skip the celebration dinner that her coworkers were throwing for her new promotion at work. She loved him to the point that she once cancelled a date with a guy that was end game material because Nick wouldn’t talk to anyone or open his door after he found out that Alexys was talking to another guy during their first break-up.
Most of all, she loved him enough to hide her true feelings, because she thought that as long as he depended on her as a friend, what else could she possibly need?
Nick rubbed his eyes and shifted so that he could look at y/n. She sent him a soft smile and he tried his best to give one back. Y/n chuckled as his failed attempt and wrapped her arms around him, letting his head fall on her chest. She rubbed his back as he snuggled in.
“Will I get over her eventually?” Nick asked. Y/n wanted to tell him that Alexys wasn’t there anymore, because that’s what she wanted. She didn’t want Nick getting back into a relationship where she would have to keep trying to put him back together. She wanted to flat out tell him that him and Lexy were over and it would be best for him to just stop crying over it. All of these things were the truth and she knew that Nick knew that. But the only reason the boy asked her was because he knew that y/n would never tell him this in such a blunt manner, especially with the state that he was currently in. She could keep him in check, but with him crying into her lap, she went the softer route. 
“Eventually you will, but it’s ok to be hurt right now. She’s always gonna be your first love, you know? I’m happy you’re crying and not punching holes in the walls” Y/n replied. She could feel Nick chuckle against her chest, and she smiled at the feeling.
“Yeah, I could be worse” He replied, sighing into his words. Nick let his hands fall from around Y/n’s waist and he used them to push himself into a sitting position. The two sat across from each other and soon began to laugh at the sight.
“I don’t know how you put up with me” Nick laughed, running his hands over his face again. Y/n only wished she could answer him honestly, but she never did and that wasn’t going to change now.
“We have seen each other in all kinds of compromising positions, so this is just a part of my best friend duties” She smiled, patting Nick on the leg. He grabbed her hand and pulled it up to his lips, leaving a sweet and soft kiss on her knuckles. 
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you for all the things you’ve done for me” He said, still holding y/n’s hand. She tried her hardest not to just burst into tears right then and there. What was she supposed to do? She was officially in love with her best friend, who was still in love with his ex, and there was nothing she could do about any of it. Except what she had been doing, which was to deal with it. 
“Just keep being you and that’s payment enough. Alright?” Nick smiled at her answer and nodded his head.Y/n pulled her hand gently from Nick’s grasp and put her hand on the bed to steady her movements.She was now in a standing position and heading for the door.
“I’m gonna go downstairs and get some drinks and snacks, because we’re going to have an action movie marathon, because love sucks and explosions are awesome, am I right or am I right?” Nick laughed at Y/n’s excited tone and responded with an ‘absolutely’ before bending down to turn on his tv so he could get Netflix to start up. Y/n walked out of the room and shut the door quietly behind her. Before she began her walk down the hallway, she took a deep breath in before letting a shaky one exit. 
She wanted to kick a wall or slam a door or better yet, call Alexys and tell her exactly what she had thought about her over the last couple of months. But she didn’t do any of those things. She continued her walk down the hallway and down the stairs. As she entered the kitchen, she saw Austin sitting on the counter next to the refrigerator on his phone. It was too late for her to turn around, because she had already caught his attention.
“You playing clean up crew again?” He asked, a smirk painted on his face. Y/n rolled her eyes and walked up to the fridge, opening up the freezer door to cover Austin’s face.
“You’re being pretty insensitive for having been in Nick’s exact position like three weeks ago” She replied, pulling a pint of Ben and Jerry’s out of the freezer, along with a bottle of New Amsterdam. She closed the freezer to see Austin peering over with a smirk still on his face.
“But are you in love with me like you are with him?” His reply almost made Y/n drop the glass bottle and ice cream in her hands. 
“Will you shut up? He could hear you” She whispered, her harsh tone clearly cutting through. Austin chuckled darkly and shook his head.
“You deserve a helluva lot more than just being Nick’s therapist. Every time you’re over here, it’s because he’s had another fight with Alexys and he wants you to coddle him and tell him that everything’s gonna be alright. And if I’m really gonna spill some truth tea right now, why don’t we talk about the fact that we all know this whole nick and alexys thing is never gonna be like it was before, and you’re too scared to tell him the truth”
“I’m sorry, is that my fault? Cause last time I checked, you live with him, so if anyone has a bigger opportunity to tell him, it would be you. Besides, Nick is a grown ass man, he makes that very clear. So if he wants to date someone or kiss someone or even fuck whoever, that’s his business. I’m here when he asks me to be, that’s it.” At this point, Y/n had walked over to the counter opposite of Austin to slam down what she had in her hands. She was fuming at his reply and it was taking everything in her not to get in his face about it. Austin and Y/n were almost as close as her and Nick, so that being said, Austin was also the only one who knew that Y/n was into Nick. He didn’t know to what extent, but at this point, he could tell that she was falling hard for the guy, and was too scared to do anything about it. 
“Why are you getting mad at me? Did I finally strike a nerve so you’ll take your own feelings into consideration? Y/n, I get it, it’s easier to just be here for him, but can’t you see that you deserve to be here for yourself? Be in love and don’t give that up for anyone” Austin hoped that what he was trying to say actually got to Y/n. He had watched her disregard her own feelings for so long, it was making him hate Nick a little bit. He knew that it was no one’s fault, but things like this are easier to understand when you have someone to blame. Y/n didn’t know how to take Austin’s words, but she knew that on some level he was right. 
“Austin, I hear what you’re saying, I do and I love you for it, but I just-- I don’t have the heart to lose him. And if it gets awkward around him over something I’ve said, then I know I’ll stop coming around, and then you and I will stop talking, and I can’t lose the both of you. So just don’t say anything, ok? You need to promise me that you won’t say anything, Austin, promise me” The urgency in Y/n’s voice broke his heart. Austin couldn’t believe that she thought all of this. But he understood and he promised her that he wouldn’t say anything. With her worries mended and all the snacks she could carry, Y/n walked back up the stairs to Nick’s room, where she would have to pretend to be happy again. 
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this was long and i’m lowkey sad after writing it but i loved this and i wanted to write about someone insecure cause same but if i make this into a series, imma give y/n an actual name and she is gonna GROW. 
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varunamatya · 5 years
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“Serenity”
I woke up before morning 🌧 Before dawn it was raining. ☔️ I couldn’t hold my body to my bed 🛏 Delicious tea my body must be fed. 🍵 I began to feel like I wanted to take a trip to Chandragiri 🚘 But then again, country’s bumpy road introduced dreary. 🤮 The excitement drained out with the thought of hassle ☹️ Lack of companion at such hour, the plan must cancel. 😖 I sat myself to my leathery revolving throne 🤴 Tuned into Netflix with a disappointed groan. 💻 I watched an old 2005 movie, “Serenity” 🎬 The plot was about governmental entity. ⚔️ The story is yes of course about fiction heroes and villains 🎥 But what is the moral of the story that makes it worth millions? 💰 The storyline has an inside instigating factor A purpose to fight for actor and information to hide for the reactor. The reactors are totalitarian regime, a.k.a. governmental operatives In order to hide failed experiments, killing the actors is their top alternatives. 🔫 The government’s scientific experiment to bring calm in the public system 🔬 Introduces; into air – a chemical agent G-23 Pax to the unknowing public victim. ⚗️ The experiment kills the majority and turned cannibals out of remaining minority💉 A predicted disaster when we pick wrong boss and delegate them with authority.⚖️
So far, all that I’ve seen and learned from this excellent movie 🍿 Coincides so much with my country’s reality, now isn’t that spooky? 👻 And ‘no’ I’m not referring to the scientific experiments from Serenity’s plot 🔬 Had my government been that scientific smart, would they ever get caught? 🤔 I’m talking about the failed designs of governmental management🤠 Designs of the Bronze-Age; which since requires modern adjustment. 💀 I’m talking about the master grand designs which never take any shape🤮 Just like our infrastructure their vision pieced together with glue and tape. ❌ The coincidence between, the plot’s assassin operatives to destroy, Truth And the faction in reality who encroach ethical men from developmental route. The similarity with current reality of our desensitized public majority Whereas the failed conformity by minority like mine pushed to entrapment insanity. When our educated and wise elders of our country voiced truth and bestowed upon the majority, The public domain looked down towards ground to stay silent because they neither understood the issue nor felt the gravity 😢
I could relate to their situation with my own experience at a smaller scale The number of times I tried to raise the dead with number of times I failed. 😔 My failure to bring about ‘change’ at this amateur age is an expected outcome But elders who only wish to speak and not go to fight will always be outgunned. There is a reactionary time difference between my elders and me Their time to react is right now, and mine, well…we’ll have to see. ⏱ I am well aware; I belong to the youth demographic I come into work only after decade as diplomatic (+,-) That is when I reach matured age and my plans will definitely begin to take action But millennials will only get to see that future if present holds ideal life in traction. The educated elders with their strength must battle their cause about now And the agile youths can help them achieve the strategy with their know-how. For a better future and the heavenly life of utopia We must first rid ourselves from death phobia. ☠️ When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty My father, uncles and brothers will not revolutionize hence, unsurprised duly. 😐 The task at hand comes down to all but for the youth generation A civil war will come; for that I keep you millennials in preparation. A final stance of ‘La Résistance’ to drive economy towards desired trajectory Vanquishing Homeland’s blood-stained enemy and ending their treachery. If only people like my father fought for our better tomorrow Twenty-nine million would not have to live in such sorrow. 😭 A sorrow of dark magic curse which came slapped with witch’s poisonous claw 👹 Tore homeland’s natural and peaceful beauty, left remainder – audience in awe.😲
To freedom fighters and future martyrs, I speak to you, fear not the death 💪 Death is more peaceful when compared to absence of sleep because of debt. 😳 Life is all about an illusion if not for just our opinion 🤔 If we’re real men, may cardinal virtue be that of a stoic civilian.😌 To live as if we came with nothing and we could die any tomorrow For once be present instead of tomorrow’s time which we ignorantly borrow. As Nirvanic Buddha would enlighten “The problem is, we think we have time” ⏰ Rare crimes like murder and rape are becoming common; yet we miss the sign. Our fore-fathers from past dynasty would spit upon us in shame😔 Pointing towards robbed city of temples and thieves who are the blame.😡 “Nepal” used to be an expression and now it has degraded to become just a word In terms of development for the past five decades, our stage is still the Third. Backdated roads where walking hurts the bone😣 Pain is to misery what accidents is to prone.😖 Fraudulent corporations and their services when mentioned could kill a whistle blower 💀 May the lord grant me, a quick clean bullet to the heart rather than this poison inching slower.🧪 A death for those reasons I have faith-in, is a life well lived My Soul for the lord, body to Nepal, I leave you with this gift. 🎁 Cremate my body behind Lord Pashupati but quench me not the water of Bagmati 🌊 For this ancient holy river is tainted with human feces and reeks of toxic impurity⛲️ It’s the kind of Elixir that sends a dead’s soul straight to the hell There is no bright light here only pit-less infinite abyss well I wish my soul could cremate my own body just so that I could be sure To know my final moments were my own and was untouched by impure.
Ironic how many youths of this world think about leaving their given dimension? Knowingly unknowing what is wrong with the world and trapped in deception. The confused and fearful victim of the cutthroat world seek this last resort as an escape And this will continue until the world doesn’t consider spiritual aspects when forming shape.🕉️ Young and educated are forced to die where failed ideas are dumped While illiterates gather to form a political party, that’s where I’m stumped!😲
Our country men and women care much less attention for what happens to our country Because justice police are public adversary, while eating popcorn and watching is the infantry. 🍿 📺 In the meantime, the illiterate unqualified are making illegitimate economic deals Selling national treasure to highest bidder and offshore depositing their steals. The unaffected and uncaring Nepalese public will very soon feel the burn 🔥 When Nepal’s economic chart crosses red zone and devalues their earn.💲 When inflation hits record high and money will not be able to buy what they used to Happiness will disappear overnight as debt increases and there’s nothing we can do.📈 I believe this is my final light of hope, it will come late but better than never A failed economy will request visionary leader when mistakes make public clever.💡 It is only then; the public will learn the importance of right man in the right place Education and knowledge molds a great leader, not empty speech and fake face. When the financial stability falls into crisis and plummets to ground zero It will enlighten those shut eyes to differentiate: traitor villain and national hero. 🦸‍♂️👀🦹
My terminal hope stands strong on the brink of events like: National identity extinction The chaos of imminent destruction will give rise to – “A Supreme Councillor of distinction” 🇳🇵
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You're my Best Friend// part one
HS!joe... thing that I wrote.. I've written shit on Wattpad before but this is the first thing I've written in a really long time so bear with me && I hope you enjoy!!
I'll be using my own character that I made up like five minutes ago whoops. If y'all want I can give a faceclaim.
Warnings: mentions of sex (no actual smut lol I can't write that), drug use (just marijuana, don't worry y'all), and swearing, angst? Maybe?
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Joe and Jane had been friends since they were babies. Their mothers, best friends since high school, had unintentionally become pregnant and had decided their children would also be best friends.
Fast forward seventeen years, and Jane and Joe were even closer than their mothers. The two were seen everywhere together, cuddled up to each other and making vine references. Just about everybody thought you were dating, but each time the question came up, the two friends would laugh. To tell the truth, Jane hadn't even thought about what it would be like to date her best friend.
One downfall of having Joe as a best friend was that girls found him irresistible, and apparently Jane knew everything about him,so girls would come to him, asking if he was available just about every weekend. Another downfall was that Joe was kind of a manwhore. Jane had nicknamed him Roger Taylor because of his constant hookups.
One time Jane had walked in on Joe with a girl, and thank god they were still mostly covered because Jane probably would have vomited otherwise. He had called her and apologized about a hundred times after he was done.
Otherwise, Jane and Joe were closer than two peas in a pod, one never not knowing something about the other.
"Hey Joe?" Jane asked, laying on the boy's bed, playing on her phone. Joe was sat at his desk doing homework. Despite being a bit of a whore, he was incredibly focused on his grades, never handing in an assignment late. He often tutored Jane in Physics, as she sucked.
"Hm?" He replied, writing out vocabulary words in his notebook.
"Would you still be friends with me if I shaved all my hair off and glued it to my face?" She asked, glancing up as Joe gave her a look, his signature side-smirk on his face.
"Don't you already look like that?" He asked. Jane laughed and threw a pillow at him, yelling out a 'Hey!' He chuckled and set his pen down, turning to face her completely. "Uh, hey, I know I said I'd hang out tonight, but this girl Sarah wants to hang out and I told her I would.." Jane rolled her eyes as Joe trailed off. He had cancelled on her for the third time in the past two weeks and she had become sick of it.
"Again? Didn't you fuck her last weekend?" She asked, rolling her eyes. Joe gave her a sheepish smile, nodding. "Jeez, Roger Taylor, you can't keep cancelling our plans or I'll be forced to break up with you. I'm starting to think there might be someone else.." Even though you were upset, it was hard not to crack a joke.
"No, Jane! I've loved you for a hundred years! If you leave me I'll die!" Joe replied, dramatically flopping onto the carpeted floor, writhing as if he were being stung by jellyfish. Jane laughed, crawling to the edge of the bed and jumping on top of the boy so she was straddling him. She held his arms over his head and slapped him lightly across the face.
"Joe! Don't leave me! I didn't mean what I said! If you die I'll be cursed with ugliness for the rest of my days!" She cried, flinging her arms into the air for dramatic affect.
"Wait," Joe stopped, breaking character, "aren't you already cursed?" Jane stopped, breaking character as well as she slapped Joe lightly but repeatedly. "Stop!" He yelled, laughing as Jane hit him.
Joe's laughter ceased as he watched Jane's blissed out face, laughing so hard her eyes were shut and scrunched, smile lines adorning her cheeks and the corners of her eyes that Joe always loved. Eventually Jane noticed that Joe was no longer laughing and he eyebrows furrowed, a confused smile on her face.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked.
"Why do you have those things in your nose?" Joe asked, quoting the inappropriate but hilarious Tik Tok that they had watched a few days prior.
"Joe," Jane laughed, sitting herself so she was still straddling him, but was no longer leaning over him. "be serious for a second!" She giggled. Joe held his hands out and Jane pulled him up so they were eye level. She wrapped her arms around the boy's neck, looking him directly in the eyes. Their intimate position meant nothing to them, as they had grown up showing very close affection with no affectionate feelings.
"I'm just looking at you," He replied, leaning his forehead against hers. "what's wrong with that? I catch you looking at me all the time." Jane was usually unfazed by Joe's funny looks but there was something different about this one. There was a glint in his eyes that she had never seen before. Shaking it off as nothing, Jane climbed off of Joe's lap. She checked her phone, finding that her mother had texted her asking her what time she would be home.
"Hey I should go, don't want to stay too late and risk your date thinking something was going on." Jane teased, grabbing her textbook and her backpack.
"Ok," Joe replied, standing from the floor. "I'll text you after Sarah leaves. Maybe we can still hang out? If you pick up a movie from Walmart we can watch it later? Or I could come to yours and we could watch some Netflix?" He asked as they walked together to his front door. Jane slipped on her shoes and sling her bag over her shoulder.
"Joe, it's gonna be at least midnight by the time you're done, and we have school tomorrow. I think I'm just gonna go to bed early tonight." Jane gave him an apologetic smile as she slipped out the front door, leaving a disappointed Joe behind. She didn't really care, if she was being honest. She was still upset that he cancelled their plans again for another booty call. It was obvious that Joe hadn't been taking Jane's feelings into account as of late, and it really bothered her.
Jane called her other best friend Sage as soon as she got home. Truth was, she didn't want to go to bed early. Since Joe had cancelled on her multiple times, Jane has had many early nights and she was itching for an adventure. Usually her and Joe would sneak out of their houses and run around town, playing late night games of mini golf and bowling, and sometimes breaking into gated parks after hours to fool around on the jungle gym.
"Sage? I need to do something tonight or I'm going to commit homicide." Jane spoke as soon as her friend picked up.
"Sebastian got his new order in yesterday. Let's get stoned."
And they did. Jane dressed herself in one of her flashiest outfits, sneaking out of her house as soon as her parents had fallen asleep. Sage was waiting, sitting criss crossed in the middle of Jane's driveway, also dressed quite flashy. Sage liked to hook up with Sebastian every time they got high together. Jane never minded. She was used to Joe hooking up with girls, and she honestly didn't care about getting kicked out of his house when she was stoned enough.
Five joints and two bong hits later and Jane was ushered out of Sebastian's house, Sage hooked to him like a fly on sticky tape. She walked aimlessly through the streets, not really caring where she was going until she reached Joe's house. She hadn't even realized she walked all the way there. It wasn't too far from Sebastian's, but Joe was never a fan of Jane smoking, so she rarely went to his house after she smoked.
Yet here she was, standing at the base of his yard, staring from afar into his window where he would most likely be with Sandra, or whatever her name was. Something itched in the back of Jane's mind and she fished her phone out of her pocket. Her body and mind were on autopilot as she dialed his number, not seeming to care that he was busy. He picked up after two rings, out of breath.
"Jane?" He spoke, his breathing laboured.
"Why did you answer the phone? Aren't you having sex right now?" Jane asked, forgetting why she had called, or perhaps she hadn't figured out why she called in the first place quite yet.
"Yeah, what's up? Why are you calling? Are you okay?" Even after cancelling their plans, Joe still picked up the phone almost immediately. Jane's chest fluttered at the thought.
"Why did you cancel our plans again?" She asked, not thinking twice. She suddenly grew angry. She was sick of him cancelling on her. She would drop anything to be there for him and would never even think about cancelling on him, and yet here he was, hooking up with some girl instead of being there for his best friend. If he hadn't been there with her she wouldn't be stoned and cold, standing outside of his house, confused. She shivered, wishing she hadn't dressed like such a slut, or had at least bothered to bring a jacket.
"What?" Joe asked. There was rustling on the other end and a hushed apology before he spoke again. "Jane, can we talk tomorrow? I'm kind of busy. I'm sorry."
"Bullshit you're sorry!" Jane spluttered, angry tears brimming in her eyes. She was so confused. Why was she crying? Why had she called Joe. Why was she so bothered by Joe hooking up with a girl? He had been hooking up with girls since they were fifteen, why be upset now? Still, she kept talking.
"You've dumped our plans like three hundred times now! Do you hate me? Am I ugly? Am I too ugly for you to hang out with me? Are you gonna stop being friends with me?" Jane couldn't stop the tears from flowing as she yelled at Joe through the phone.
"Wait, Jane.. Are you outside right now? I can hear you.." Joe's voice faltered as she could only assume he was looking out his window. "Holy shit! What the fuck are you wearing?" Joe asked. She watched him peek through his blinds before turning and muttering something to the girl he was with. "Shit, Jane, give me a minute and I'll be right out." He hung up shortly after and Jane waited, not bothering to wipe her tears.
Joe emerged from his house shortly after, wearing a pair of boxers and carrying one of his blankets. He jogged over to the shivering girl and draped the blanket over her, taking in her appearance.
"W-why aren't you still in there fucking that girl? Why are you out here when you can be in there?" Jane blubbered, staring into Joe's confused eyes.
"Jane, what the fuck is going on? Just four hours ago you were fine, and now you're bawling about bullshit. Are you stoned?" He asked. Jane tried to turn away from him but he was quick to grasp onto her hands, pulling her to face him. He took her face in his hands, staring into her eyes.
"I know you don't like it but you cancelled on me again and I just wanted to do something fun and-" She couldn't continue speaking, her tears taking over. Joe wrapped her in a tight hug, squeezing her as tight as he could to calm her down. He did this whenever she went on one of her stoned rants and started freaking out, as she often did.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I promise I won't cancel on you again. Shh, calm down." Joe muttered, kissing the top of her head. "Hey, let me get dressed and I'll walk you home."
"What about the girl?" Jane asked, sniffling and wiping her eyes.
"She wasn't any good, anyway. Don't worry about it." Joe said, once again kissing her head as he guided her inside. "Do you want some of my clothes, by the way? You look like a stripper." He joked. Jane pushed him lightly, having calmed down, and snuggled into his side, breathing in his scent that never failed to calm her down.
//
Hi everyone, I hope you liked this! I hope this isn't too much all at once lol. I was watching the office as I wrote this so I got a bit distracted... Many times. Let me know what you think && I'll try to write a part two soon!
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rinnnyxr · 3 years
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I hate when people say that they don’t like drinking water.
^HOW can you not like water?! You need that shit. I refuse to date a virgin.
My room is always a mess, and I mean always.
I love listening to music that I used to like when I was a kid. All the licensed drivers in my house have their own cars. I don’t have any posters on my walls. I know a set of twins.
^They’re related to me.
My favorite color is typically associated with my gender.
There are more TV’s in my house than there are family members.
I like Mexican food more than I like Chinese food. If a stranger looked through my iPod they probably couldn’t figure out what my favorite type of music is. If I could find out the date of my death, I wouldn’t want to know. Other people would consider me spoiled, and I agree. Some members of my family are on vacation right now.
The last person I texted was one of my best friends. I prefer hard liquor over beer.
I’ve read a book that was over 1,000 pages long. I hate unpacking my stuff almost as much as I hate packing it.
The last song I listened to was sung by a female. I really wish gay marriage was legal. I feel like I should already know what I want to do in life, but I don’t. I absolutely die of laughter whenever I see someone fall.
I get a lot of satisfaction when I make someone laugh. The older I get, the more emotionally cold I’ve become.
The shirt I’m wearing now is my favorite color.
My cellphone is within reach. I didn’t have a very good day today.
I always try to accomplish things before the microwave times out. I love crappy reality television.
^and I’m not embarrassed.
If I had motivation I think my whole life would fall into place.
There is some type of food or beverage in the room I’m currently in. I think I would make a fool out of myself if I ever met my favorite celebrity.
The last person I talked to was my dad.
Multiple tabs are open on my web browser right now. My family uses a lot of paper plates and plastic cups to save from washing dishes all the time.
There are empty alcohol bottles in my room right now.
There is more than one purse in my room.
I’m really excited to watch women’s gymnastics in the Olympics.
I wish my bed was bigger.
I watch more movies online than I do on an actual TV.
I’m still friends with my most recent ex on Facebook.
Lately, I have no motivation to do much of anything.
It wouldn’t bother me if my significant other played a lot of video games. I love services like Netflix and Hulu.
I’m more into watching cartoons than I am reality shows. I think it makes women look manly when they wear watches.
I have/wish I had a pool at my house.
I’m such a music snob, if I have a conversation with someone about music, and their taste is way off from mine, I’m inclined to like them less.
I have been arrested.
I’m only happy about working when I have something I want to purchase in mind. I have a fantasy that I haven’t told anyone/many people.
I have a favorite villain. I prefer Pizza Hut over any other pizza place.
I wear my hair up more often than down.
I have a pair of colored contacts.
I’m self conscious about something on my face being too little or too big.
Even though they’re for kids, when I go to a place with balloons, I always want one for myself.
I really want to lose weight.
I don’t like my handwriting.
I rarely put any products in my hair. I easily become obsessed with things I enjoy. I love talking to people who do the same weird things I do, especially if I thought I was the only one who did it. Someone close to me has survived cancer.
I have accompanied someone to the emergency room.
I had acne when I was younger, but my face is mostly cleared up now.
I have my dream wedding planned.
Also my dream groom!
I love going to fairs and carnivals. I am allergic to something uncommon.
My sense of style has changed dramatically in the last few years. I love noticing people’s random acts of kindness. I love surprising people. I love driving with the windows down.
I have some embarrassing stretch marks. I don’t believe in divorce.
I could spend all day online. I have trouble talking about myself, I rarely fill out my description in online profiles.
I really want to travel.
My fingernail polish always seems to chip not much long after I have painted them.
I don’t take it very well when one of my pets die. I would love for one of my friends to get me a male stripper.
Dating someone who was bisexual would bother me a little bit.
I hate throwing up, and it tastes exactly like the food did. It makes me never want to eat it again.
My favorite animal isn’t one you’d have as a pet.
There are a lot of mirrors in my house.
I am very awkward at making small talk. I don’t like when girls put that they are in a relationship with their best friend on Facebook.
I think I’m a pretty good driver.
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Your bedroom is usually untidy. You know how to cook. You cook at home more often than you eat out. You love to exercise and stay fit. Your house has a basement. You don’t like rollercoasters. You don’t have a Facebook account. You did laundry today. You have a crush on somebody. You’re a smoker. Your parents are still together. You’re sitting on a chair or couch right now. You know somebody who is adopted. You have half-siblings. You have more important things to be doing right now. You have worked in retail. You have been fired from a job. You live with friends. You own a game console. You’ve eaten carbs today. You’re expecting a visitor soon. You are a college student. You are scared of dogs. You have your tongue pierced. You have never been drunk. You would consider yourself to be average height. You have ridden on the back of a motorcycle. You have plans for next weekend. You know a little bit of French. Your parents know how to text message. You have an iPhone. You are bisexual. You don’t own a pair of pajamas. You get your eyebrows waxed. You have dated someone much older than you. You are hungry right now. You have never been swimming in the ocean. You like to indulge in retail therapy. You know someone who has been to rehab. You never had good grades in school. You’re a lazy person. You are married. You have at least one tattoo. You like to go for walks and jogs. You have never been overseas. You’re terrible at saving money. You’re kind of gluttonous. You don’t like coffee. You don’t know who your biological father is.
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I’m a Leo
I was born in August
I’m older than 20 years old I’ll turn 25 this year
I’m from England
I was employed at the age of 15 I work/worked as a waitress
I have 2 siblings
I have a sister I have a brother
One of my siblings is a Taurus
One of my siblings is a Capricorn
I’m in a relationship ^with a Cancer
I’ve dated a Taurus before I’ve dated an Aries before
My natural hair color is brown I’m from Kosovo
I can sing well
I used to be in a choir My eyes are brown I’ve moved out at the age of 15
I used to live with my friends
I work/used to work at a nightclub
I have tattoos
I’m good at spelling
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Taurus goofy loves awards cheats on board games won’t take criticism cancelling plans snoring likes to cuddle touch is very important to them the slightest negative remark can hurt them super independent bad at compromise dislikes sudden changes has high expectations calling in sick poor but acts rich collecting 8/16
Virgo has a hidden wild side anxious about everything book lover “sorry I was very busy” gives good advice wine snob stress cleaning trying to fix everything always look like they want to kill someone multitasking loves to be alone “my plants are my kids” cries when drunk bossy many times resting bitch face self-sacrificing 10/16
Capricorn feels too much for nothing keyboard smasher has a list for everything makeup Youtube videos planning ahead loves sleep plays it safe likes to be alone boss in bed control freak heart of gold mature personality “trust no one” likes bands you’ve never heard of old soul good with money 7/16
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Blade Runner 2049, Creep 2, The Foreigner
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If you’re wondering where I’ve been, my crippling anxiety and depression have been better managed lately so I’ve been out of my house a lot more, which means I’m not sitting in front of a screen as much, and ultimately that means less time spent writing up reviews and watching films. I’m hoping to post a lot more soon, and have a pretty long video planned for a Netflix series I hate. Don’t worry, it’s not Stranger Things. 
I have THREE movie reviews backed up, so I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible. 
First off, I saw Blade Runner 2049 last month, and I fucking loved it. I’ve been defending this film to the doubters and haters (woah there, Donald Trump) for the last year and a half and boy, do I feel vindicated!
2049 was a god damned masterpiece as far as I’m concerned. If we’ve ever talked at length about movies, then you know I’m ride-or-die for Denis Villeneuve. I’ve seen all of his films except for Maelstrom and they’ve all been, basically, five-star films. In fact, I just watched Incendies for the first time last week and it left me speechless and devastated. I will admit that the events of that particular film are a little beyond belief, but it doesn’t matter. See it if you have the opportunity, it’s well worth the time. 
Villeneuve has produced, probably, one of the best sequels ever made; I would confidently rank it with The Godfather Part II, Empire Strikes Back, and Aliens. 2049 improves on its predecessor in every conceivable way. Whereas the original suffers quite a bit from its pacing issues, 2049′s two hour and forty-three minute runtime felt like it went by in an hour and a half. The philistine troglodytes of the movie community have claimed this movie is slow and boring, but I think they’ve misunderstood the haunting, deliberate, meticulous pace of this film. The film makes a professional effort to present everything as is, for your interpretation, rather than through unnecessary exposition. I’m looking at you, 1982 Blade Runner theatrical cut featuring the most draining and unenthusiastic voice over, maybe ever! To give you an example, the movie clearly takes place in Los Angeles, but the climate is cold, damp and dark like Seattle, and there’s a massive wall along the coast that seems to be holding back the sea. Here we have the effects of climate change, without a single mention of it. It just is. 
Finally. Thank you for treating me like a higher-than-room-temperature-IQ individual, Denis. Love you.
Which brings me to the universe of this new film. It is, in my opinion, completely consistent with the progression of technology of the 1982 film, instead of “adapting” this technology so that it makes sense in the context of our modern technological developments. Any other director might have said, “well hey, the original takes place in 2019, but we don’t have flying cars and our computers are better. We should change the tech for 2049 so it’s more consistent for a modern viewer.” Nope. Blade Runner 2049 looks like it takes place exactly 30 years after the original film. In fact, things seem even more dirty, grimy, and in further disrepair. The world of 2049 has trudged on and has continued on a path of miserable, dystopian decay as a direct and consistent continuation of the original film. In this sense, here is another arena where this film is a significant improvement on the original; the harsh, dystopian reality is magnified beautifully and effectively. 
In this way, 2049 meaningfully expands on this universe. We meet Joi, the digital girlfriend of Ryan Gosling’s detective character. Every scene that incorporates Joi is a poignant and moving statement on the shallowness of technology and our digital interactions in the modern age. Case in point: Gosling gets a new mobile platform for Joi that allows him to take her out of the apartment and enjoy a rainy evening on the roof. This sweet moment between the two characters is shattered when Joi’s program freezes as Gosling receives an incoming call, the projected notification plastered over her. 
I don’t want to go to far into characters and story at the risk of spoiling the magic for those of you who didn’t get a chance to see this one before it was ripped out of theaters, but I do want to say that I thought Gosling’s performance was very good, and the character suits his trademark silent performances that convey feelings with the pursing of lips and the twinkling of eyes rather than forced melodrama. I think Jared Leto was a little over the top, but it was fine in the context of the film. I was on the fence with Robin Wright’s performance for a couple of weeks after seeing this, but for the most part, I liked her and the role her character serves. Everyone was generally good and consistent. And as far as the writing of the characters, it was nice to have a detective character who, you know, actually spends the film investigating shit and solving mysteries. 
The last thing I want to touch on is the music and cinematography. Deakins is well utilized in this film; it is shot beautifully. The visuals and photography are probably the biggest strength of the film, and there’s a perfect and balanced synergy between what the film wants to convey and what the cinematography does to support that. The sound design is incredible and further compliments the visuals. I was surprised and impressed with Hans Zimmer’s score, which takes all the right cues from the Vangelis score from the original and really augments the film’s depressing majesty. Once again, this film improves on its predecessor in every way, and the new score manages to capture the futurism and cyberpunk atmosphere of the original and crank it up to 11 to match the increased level of dystopian despair. I loved that this movie manages to convey this feeling organically, without coming off as forced, and without the entire movie coming off as completely miserable, although the misery is beautiful to watch and hear and feel. And for what it’s worth, I believe the movie has a happy end, albeit bittersweet. 
If you have any interest in seeing this movie, go check the showtimes for theaters near you. I would drive at least an hour out of my way to see this one in a decent theater again. If not, it’s worth the rental fee, at the very least. I will certainly be adding this film to my Blu-ray collection. All things considered, I enjoy this sequel even more than its source material. Denis Villeneuve has an adaptation of Dune coming up and after seeing this film (and, really, the rest of his work), I have high expectations and a lot of anticipation. And hey, Ryan Gosling is a gorgeous man to look at and you don’t need to ask me twice to watch him in all of his brooding glory for three hours. 
★★★★★
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I also got a chance to see Creep 2, the highly anticipated follow-up to Mark Duplass’s low-key 2014 found footage flick. I won’t spend too much time analyzing this one, but if you enjoyed the first film, there’s a decent chance you’ll like this sequel. 
While I admit that I think the first film is scarier, this one is smarter and a more interesting watch. It digs a bit deeper into the character of Aaron, the fascinating, bizarre and lonely serial killer from the original. As with its predecessor, Creep 2 meets my found-footage benchmark: a believable reason as to why a camera is present, as well as an acceptable reason as to why the character or characters continue to film. I found Creep 2 to be interesting, weirdly charming, intentionally humorous, and didn’t feel like I was rolling my eyes about the obvious set-up for a continuation of this series. 
I certainly wouldn’t recommend Creep 2 if you haven’t seen the first one (or if you hated it), and if you’re a total nay-sayer on found footage, this one probably isn’t going to change your mind. I am generally pretty accepting of found footage films, appreciate the medium, and think that it can be a much more immersive presentation for horror. About 50-60% of the ones I’ve watched have been scary and enjoyable, and although this one isn’t particularly scary, it’s a satisfying expansion to the first film. I would have liked more horror and scares, but given the context of the film, I can live without them. 
It’s pretty nutty and very awkward, but in a good way. 
★★★ ½
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I opted out of predictable trainwrecks like The Snowman and Geostorm these past couple of weeks, and ultimately cancelled my plans to see Suburbicon after seeing the brutal reviews for it. I am truly disappointed considering that movie had literally every reason to be good and managed to, according to critical consensus, eat a massive amount of shit while also managing to be some unpleasant mixture of socially tonedeaf and tactlessly racially insensitive. On that note, I instead saw Jackie Chan’s answer to Death Wish, The Foreigner, which was smartly retitled from the book it was based on. The Chinaman is not gonna fly in 2017, thankfully. Do I thank Trump for this era of heightened racial awareness, or are we actually growing because we’re not such bad humans after all?  
The Foreigner is film about a traumatized old man’s quest for vengeance after his daughter is killed in an IRA terrorist bombing. The strength of this film is the performances delivered by Chan and Brosnan, as well as the action sequences. As mentioned previously, I was reminded of Death Wish, and felt like this film might have been an alternate universe’s answer to the need for a version of Rambo that stars Jackie Chan. Man, I didn’t know how much I wanted a Chan-led Rambo, but here we are! 
This is a pretty dark and gritty film for Chan, and he also displays a range of grief that I can’t say I’ve seen in any of the several dozen other Jackie Chan films I’ve watched over the years. It’s nice to see this kind of change in his long career, and if he decides to embark on an Eastwood or Bronson-esque journey of morally-compromised vengeance and redemption in his old age, I fully endorse it. 
The Foreigner suffers a bit from a pretty standard action-thriller formula, and I think the film would have benefitted from a more consistent tone and tighter writing. That being said, Chan and Brosnan are compelling to watch, and the fight sequences are not only satisfying, but genuinely impressive considering Jackie Chan is a 63-year-old man who has probably broken every bone in his body over his career. 
If you’re a fan of Chan, I’d recommend this one. Otherwise, you may get bored by the political drama. The story is a bit... well, it’s average, but the two leads more than make up for it with their performances and the action sequences help to balance out a movie that might have otherwise been unremarkable. It’s an interesting and unexpected direction for such an established master of physical comedy. 
★★★½
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totsukanotsurugi · 7 years
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Oc x Male reader | "Like you"
(M/N) wakes up with the sound of the door bell ringing; rolling to his back he groans as he remembers Kye is not at home to receive the food delivery so he has to do it.
Kye is in Osaka at his brother's highschool graduation and if (M/N) is totally honest, even when he thinks it’s really nice of him to do that and is also happy for the youngest Sakami's success, he can’t help but feel sad for not spending Valentine’ Day with his boyfriend. Going to Osaka with him wasn’t an option, as sadly as it sounds, he had never have a very good relationship with Kye's family, but he would never ask the ravenette to cancel family-time. They always spend time together, anyway.
“And maybe that’s why the flat feels so empty now.” (M/N) thinks, while he starts putting things on the kitchen cabinets, “’Cause it’s the first time I've stayed here on my own.”
Even if that thought is a little sad, he can’t help but chuckle as he thinks how right their friends are when they say Kye and him are “one of the sappy couples”.
It takes him a while to put all the shopping on the right place, and almost as if it was planned, on the last bag along with Kye's cereal and some fruit is a red heart-shape box, making (M/N) frown in confusion, because he is sure he didn’t put that on the list.
“Maybe they added it by mistake.” he thinks. It wouldn’t be the first time something like that happens; they have send shampoos, cereals and even kids toys by mistake before.
Taking in on his hands, (M/N) inspects the box. It has little pink, white and dark-red hearts all around it, it’s not really big or heavy and it smells nice so there’s probably some kind of candy on the inside. There is also a little white card pasted on the front. He doesn’t mean to be snoop, but curiosity takes the best of him and he decides to read it.
“They may not be as sweet as you, but I hope you like them. PS: Save some for me? – Love, Kye”
A big smile appearing on his face as his (E/C) eyes scan the letters on the paper. He is also curious at how his boyfriend manage to buy him chocolates and send them via the shopping, but decides to not think so much about it as he opens the chocolate box.
On top of them, every chocolate has a little design related to Valentine’s, a heart, a kissy-lips shape, or just something that makes them look cute, like little dots or a specific patron of lines. And the three on the centre form the phrase “I love you”, with each word on one of them.
(M/N) almost runs to the bedroom to get his phone, wanting to take a picture of the candies before he can eat all of them. He takes the photo and tries one with dots, making a satisfactory sound as soon as the chocolate taste touch his tongue.
“Thank you! They are awesome; don’t know if I can let some for you. Love you more, bunny.” he text Kye, attaching a picture a of the box already with four-less chocolates.
Kye sends back a crying emoji and (M/N) answers with a kiss one. And then, they get in an “emoji competition” on which they have to add one emoji more than the other does, until it gets difficult to count how many they have to type and they agree both can love each other just as much.
~Time~Skip~
It’s noon and (M/N) has decided that he has to find some hobbies that do not involve Kye, since over the past three days he was only been able to read his new Stephen King’ book, clean the house and watch animal documentaries. Completely avoiding any anime suggestion on Netflix as he would be in for the wrath of his boyfriend if he watch them.
At one o'clock, he is sure he will die from boredom if he doesn’t do something and so (M/N) abandons his position on the sofa to go to the office and work on the book he is currently editing. It's an Asian cook book, which makes him think about Kye and theirs first “official” date, and he decides he will buy the book as soon as his publishing company starts to sell it and then cook something for the young boy.
Normally when he edits there is background noise from his boyfriend watching tv or listening music, and since the boy is not at home, the noise is not there either. Even when he prefers silence sometimes while he works, (M/N) can’t help but wish Kye were here.
Not wanting to think as he did that morning, the (H/C) boy goes to the music file on his computer choosing to create “his own noise”.
As soon as he opens the file, his blue eyes land on the other one at the top. “Hear me, pls” is the name and he wonders if Kye created it and if he did, when?
Still confused, (M/N) obeys the file and clicks on it so he can play it. When it opens he finds there are at least twenty songs plus one word document. For a few seconds he is indecisive about what to do first, open the document or listen to the songs?
“Maybe it would say what this is about...” he thinks as he double click the archive, hopping is the right decision.
“As cliché as it sounds, all these songs make me think about you when I listen to them. PS: Hope you like them as much as I like you... – Love, Kye”
Again, (M/N)’s lips curve into a smile when he reads the words written by his amazing boyfriend, and quickly he clicks on the ‘play all’ option while he takes his phone on his hands, typing a text.
“You are the cutest of cuties! I love you so much, babe... and I don’t accept otherwise. “
This time Kye doesn’t reply and he gets into the conclusion that his boyfriend is probably spending time with his family so he can’t answer, but (M/N) doesn’t think to much about it as he listen through his new favourite songs.
~Time~Skip~
At dinner time, even when shopping just came today, (M/N) declines the idea of cooking and orders pizza, almost regretting it as he realize Kye is not there to eat the pineapple for him.
Seriously, whose idea was to put fruit on pizza?… Pineapple is fruit, right?
(M/N) thoughts on awkward pizza’ toppings are interrupted by his door bell, indicating his dinner arrived.
He pays and thanks the delivery guy and then returns to his position on the sofa infront of the tv.
Once again, by the third time that day, (M/N) experiments the emotion of surprise when he opens the pizza’ box and finds a post-it on the inside that reads:
“Meet me at the park and we can share this pizza PS: Am I cheesy enough? :b – Love, Kye”
The silly-love smile is back and as quickly as he can, (M/N) takes his car keys and the pizza, gets out of the house and manage to get to his destination without breaking any speed limits in less than ten minutes.
The park is not really big, so it doesn’t take him to long to find his boyfriend sitting on one of the bench and without wanting to wait any more, he runs towards him. Phil put the box on the bench as the ravenettte stand up and then throws his arms around his neck.
“I missed you so much…” he says, breathless.
Kye’s arms quickly find their way around his waist, bringing (M/N) even more close to him. “I missed you too, Kitten.”
They stay in silence a few minutes, simply enjoying hugging after almost four days without seeing each others. It also gives time to the (H/C) boy to control his breathing so he can speak normally again.
“I can’t believe you’re here, thought you’ll be back in other two days.”
“I was, but when Sebaru found out I was planing on staying there on Valentine’ he said he would kill me if I did” Kye explains with a chuckle, “He was the one buying the tickets, you know?”
“Really?” the oldest asks a bit surprised, “I think I really like him.”
“Should I be worried?” he jokes, pulling away from the hug just enough to see his boyfriend’s face, and when he shakes his head, Kye leans down to press his lips with (M/N)’s soft ones.
They kiss slowly and gently, but a the same time both of them can tell how much the other loves and missed them with just the movements of their lips. It’s perfect, they are perfect together, both guys think.
~Time~Skip~
“So you just entered and added the box to the list?” (M/N) wonders.
“Yes, I guess it’s a good idea we have an account together, after all.”
They are sitting on the sofa a home, (technically cuddling, with (M/N) sitting between Kye's legs) after their little picnic at the park, Kye answering (M/N)’s questions about the mini surprised that day. Already confessing how he almost begged the delivery guy to let him put the note on the box.
“And the playlist?”
“I made it the morning I left. I knew you would be working at some point and that I was going to be away for Valentines, so... I don’t know... I thought it would be cute.” he explains, slightly blushing.
(M/N) turns is head a little, pressing a light kiss on his jaw, “It was really cute, like you.”
Ver
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sorrynottoosorry · 7 years
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i’ve been pretty absent from tumblr lately, not that anyone cares, it’s not like i have fans, just some people that follow me, my tumblr has never had an actual theme, which is what i like about it, but every once in a while i’ll queue a lot of thinspo things, that happens when i’m feeling bad about myself, the title on my tumblr is “I’d Rather Be Anorexic”, i’ve had people send me shit like “anorexia is a disease not a lifestyle” blah blah blah..., i realize what it is i just wish i had it i’m not saying i can just have it because i stop eating or whatever, i’m going into college this fall, haven’t graduated high school yet but very soon, i’m super nervous for college, like the roommate thing especially because i don’t want someone to see me just laying around looking awful without makeup without clothes that cover every inch of my skin, and the freshman 15 thing it’s for skinny people that aren’t use to eating a lot because now they’re away from home etc, if anything i’ll be getting a freshman 50 at least, i didn’t get senior pictures done because i don’t like pictures of me because i’m too fat or one of my eyes look too weird or i have nothing to wear, mainly because i don’t want to look back at my senior pictures and see how fat i was, this being hopefully i lose weight in the future of course but even if not i don’t want to remember high school, not going to winter fest or prom because i can’t fit into a dress how i want not that i even tried, now i have to wear a dress for graduation day and i have no idea what i’m going to do, i might not even walk, i don’t want to get a job because i’m scared my uniform is going to have to be in size xxl and it’d look awful in it, i’m scared to keep living, at least keep living this way, it’s so hard for me to lose weight though, it’s not like i haven’t tried, i can’t stop drinking pop because i don’t drink pop to begin with, i already drink a ton of water every day, i’m pretty positive i have binge eating disorder, i sit around and anytime I'm bored i will eat everything in sight, i’ll have something in the microwave while i pour some cereal, i don’t hang out with my friends after school, we make plans sometimes but i always end up canceling, i’m the fattest out of my friend group, it’s hard to hang out with them especially in public knowing people see me as the fat one, so we make plans to hang out at someones house but they have so much food they plan on making a pizza and fried oreos and they have ice cream and bought chips, i don’t have that stuff at my house because my mom doesn’t like buying it for me, so it’s just hard to hang out with friends but not hanging out with friends means i’m at home bored so i eat, i have social anxiety of course possibly caused by how much i hate myself, i’m not going to project graduation because it’s probably going to involve swimming and god forbid i be seen in a swimsuit, ew, my friends wouldn’t want to hang out with me on the sides and not swim and i wouldn’t want them to sacrifice having fun to keep poor me company, i don’t even know why i’m writing this, no one is going to take the time to read this i mean i wouldn’t, i don’t want to go for walks because i don’t want people to see me outside and i’d have to put makeup on, i have never gone a day of high school without putting a full face of makeup on, another example of how much i hate myself i guess, i try to relieve stress by coloring in an adult coloring book, it kind of makes me more stressed because i don’t know what color to do next what if it looks bad to this color, that one was random idk, my favorite thing to do is watch netflix or youtube, how original of me, it’s just that i like watching and living in someone else’s life, it gets me out of my own life my own thoughts, i like watching peoples lives so i don’t have to think about mine, was that the same sentence idk, when i feel sad i like to watch a super sad movie so i can sit there crying and pretend i’m only crying because of the movie and not what’s happening with my life, what’s with this comma thing i’m doing, nice run on sentence, i don’t have a dog to take for walks, i would kill for a dog, of course i’m going to college soon so i can’t just get a dog now plus i can’t afford one, i would kill to be rich, i would get an in home gym and a personal trainer to come to my house, i’d have lots of dogs with a huge backyard for them to play in, this is just getting incredibly random now, i threw away the rest of the easter candy i had left, first step in the right direction hopefully, i’m just surprised it wasn’t gone by now, i want to blame some weight gain on my birth control pills i started taking in the summer before school, but it’s is such a low dose if anything it’d be like 5 pounds, i started taking it for my awful cystic acne, which is gone now thank the lord jesus our savior, but now i have hella acne scars covering practically my whole fucking face, which is why i wear the makeup, i also wear false lashes every day, it’s a bad habit i can’t go without them because now i think i look disgusting without them even thought before i started wearing them literally everyone complimented me on my lashes, now i just think my natural lashes are shit, don’t start wearing false lashes you’re welcome, i love skinny people, obviously like i hate them but only because i’m hella jealous, but like it must be nice to not have to worry about what you look like in public or how bad you feel while wearing a normal shirt, i envy them, don’t even get me started on the whole skinny shaming thing like literally why they’re perfect, anyways, i’m in love with makeup, like i have online carts filled up with all the makeup i want to buy, of course it’s thousands of dollars which i’d never be able to afford, and clothes, i love clothes, so many clothes websites that i’m just like when i’m skinny i’m going to wear this, it’s awful honestly, i’ve never had a boyfriend, it’s weird i guess i brought this up because i brought up the birth control thing, anyways, most of my friends were having sex in middle school and freshman year, i can’t even get a boyfriend, not that i’m looking though, like i’ve seen relationships on tv and from my friends but i don’t really know what i’m missing kind of, like i’ve had small things with some guys through like texting and stuff but nothing too major, i’ve been asked out a couple times but never from the right people, mainly from those guys that like ask out everyone because they’re lonely or whatever, i don’t really like anyone at my school, and like i’m fat but i like skinny guys but i don’t want to see myself with a skinny guy or have other people see a fat girl with a skinny guy, i’m pretty what’s the word superficial i guess, awful i know but whatever, and like i wouldn’t want a guy that likes bigger girls because i don’t want to be bigger so i don’t want someone to want me just because i’m bigger, i say like a lot, i have a lot of stretch marks, i hate them obviously, i’ve never been a big tattoo person, like i think they’re hot on some people but never really wanted any, but i’m thinking if a miracle happened and i actually got skinny in the future i might want to cover the stretch marks up with tattoos, i just thought of that a few weeks ago, this is like my first time typing out my feelings, i guess it makes me feel better maybe, but now i don’t want to really post it because i’ve said more than i wanted to, i don’t even know why i started writing this honestly, i’ll probably post it anyways because i know no one will take the time to read it, i guess this started because i saw a video of myself, we’re doing this movie in my class and i chose to be the director/camera person because i obviously don’t want to be on video, but my friend in my group took a video of use just talking and figuring out how we were going to set up the next scene, we put everything on the camera on my computer today so i was just watching through some clips when i came across it, my voice sounded so awful and gross and i wanted to hit myself, and then i came into frame and oh my god, like i know i’m fat like i have eyes and mirrors, but wow, i literally looked so obese it was eyeopening i guess, i obviously deleted it as soon as possible but knowing it’s still on that memory card makes me want to die, yes i’m over dramatic i know, i sound like rude obviously but like i don’t hate fat people i don’t judge fat people i don’t talk about fat people it’s like just myself, this one fat person i hate because i can’t stand being this fat person, i’m less happy, i don’t do things that might be fun i’m always like “one day when i’m skinny i can do that”, and it can be the most basic thing, i don’t live my life because i’m fat, back to the cystic acne i literally almost didn’t go to school because of it, like it got bad the past summer and i told my mom i had to do online school, i couldn’t face people and have them see what a monster i was, somehow i just said screw it and went anyways and it finally cleared up after probably a monthish of school idr, idk what else to say, who am i talking to, my future self maybe is reading this, hopefully you’re skinny, it’s getting late i need to get ready for bed, bye? 
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rilenerocks · 4 years
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  A good friend of mine told me a while back that I was “living large.” I guess I’d have to agree with her. After Michael died, I thought very hard about how I wanted to live the rest of my life. I’d always thought that based on the longevity in Michael’s family, that I’d either die before him or that we’d age together. I didn’t know what I’d feel like after the five years of his cancer dominating our lives. In the months before his death, he’d ask me what I was going to do without him. I truthfully responded that I had absolutely no clue. We’d been together for so many decades. I never imagined life absent his presence. He encouraged me to find partnership, saying I was born to be with someone. As it turns out, that was true. But apparently he was the only someone. I haven’t had the slightest interest in these past few years of seeking out a new companion. I’m still with him. But I have chosen to live in ways that I would’ve liked to share with him. Ways that I know would he’d be glad I’d chosen, an active adventurous life, both mentally and physically. The mental part has been easy. I’ve always been intellectually motivated and curious so there’s no end to my interests. I can say that happily, I’m never bored. I’m more likely to be frustrated that there isn’t enough time in a day for me to explore all my ideas.
The more physically demanding life was more of a challenge. After hobbling around with two bone-on-bone knees, I finally got replacements which changed the way I could experience the world. But even before that, I struck out on my own, traveling alone to Sedona and the National Monuments of Arizona. I spent a week in Cincinnati, enjoying my first ever professional tennis tournament and seeing my beloved Roger Federer. I went alone to Glacier National Park and also took a fifteen day road trip with my son which covered twelve states. I planned a 50th high school reunion, attended the Laver Cup in Chicago and have seen a half dozen live concerts which included Paul McCartney. I then drove south with my sister and knocked three more states off my list, hoping to see all fifty of them before I die. I only have a few left.I had a big adventure planned for May, a trip to Vancouver, followed by an Alaska/Denali sea and land journey which would ultimately end in Anchorage. Fifteen days of new experiences which would offset the challenges of May. My wedding anniversary is on the 1st, followed by Mother’s Day, the birthday of my oldest friend who’s been dead now for 32 years, then my birthday, the anniversary of Michael’s death and finally, his birthday. A rugged month. But then along came Covid19.
I was lucky enough to squeeze in a trip to Naples, Florida to visit friends  before the pandemic began to pick up steam. By the time my ten day vacation ended, I had a harrowing, paranoid journey home through two airports, one flight and one bus ride,  during which I sanitized my hands until they felt like sandpaper and avoided close contact with anyone breathing nearby. From then on, March 11th, it’s been self-isolation until my kids and I got to the point where we felt safe enough to see each other. I’m one of the lucky ones who has family nearby. They are working online and trying to educate their kids for whom school has been cancelled. Needless to say, the Alaska trip is off-all that’s left of it is trying to recover the money that was paid in advance. Certainly not the most wonderful experience. I can’t go swimming any more because the pool is closed, but I am grateful that I can walk without pain. I wish I could get some of those endorphins that always emerge from me in water but that’s not happening. Life has become unpredictable and much smaller. The question is, for how long? I’ve been thinking about what will happen when this need to re-open life in my part of the world becomes real. Will I ever live large again? Or is it time to scale back and live in a limited space.
Doctors are reporting that a mysterious blood-clotting complication is killing their coronavirus patients.
Every day there are new scary headlines. It seems that in rapid jolts, a small, threatening twist to this unpredictable virus is unearthed. If you shut the political noise out and study the science reporting, it seems clear that the predictive algorithms are fluctuating. It’s not only older people who are vulnerable. Anyone can get sick and anyone can be a silent carrier. Significant and widespread therapeutic treatments seem to be pretty distant right now as does a vaccine. And who knows about the efficacy of a vaccine? Flu vaccines help, but in some years they’re hit or miss. What is the overall implication of that formula?  
This is my bedroom, my sanctuary where I retreated every night with Michael, where we found comfort and respite with each other. Thankfully, I still feel the same about my room. This is where I think about these uncertain times and how I want to handle myself in the midst of them. I look around and see the choices of my life. My partner and my family photos. The Beatles and Federer.
My favorite artworks and my books are close by. I have my small fish tank with the little swimmers whose bright rhythmic darting is so relaxing at night. There are volumes of photo albums and a hoard of Michael’s movies on dvd. I have beautiful notes he wrote me long ago, in the beginning, which warm me still, after a lifetime.
Rocks and seeds sit on my bookshelf. Shells that I gathered on the Gulf shore beaches are arranged on a wall plaque I made, right next to the Mayan calendar date of our May 1st wedding anniversary, made in Tulum, Mexico where we went for our 25th. This is my small life, inside this space. I’m happy here. I feel like choosing this for now is the wisest thing to do, given the current murky future out there in the bigger world. Going to a movie theater? How about the pool which might remind me of a petri dish? Will I feel comfortable going to get my hair cut soon? That question is funny. I’ve already cut my bangs twice. But I’m not ready to take on all these mystifying layers on my head. Back when I was thinking about Marie Kondo’s minimalist guide, holding an object in your hand to see if it gave you joy and if not, discarding it, I grabbed my bag of hair accessories from my dresser. Back when I had long hair I used them all the time. I did the looking thing and just got annoyed so I put them back where they came from. That must have been a prescient moment – I’m certainly glad I’ve kept them around to help me manage my untamed mane. Who knows? Maybe I’ll have one more crack at a ponytail before I die. So no more big trips for the foreseeable future. And I’m on the fence about whether the benefits will outweigh the risks for what were seemingly normal activities BC – Before Covid19. But I still have my garden which provides ample opportunities for fresh air, exercise and interesting yard visitors. I’ve been having car social hours with my friends, meeting at parks or in other natural areas where we can chat from within our safe spaces and still feel connected. There are plenty of clouds to photograph and paving bricks to decorate with my collections of shells and rocks from travels. I’ve been trying to recover my drawing skills, primitive though they were. There are lots of Netflix shows, of course, and many old movies to watch.  I always have books.
If I’m going to be leading this smaller life, though, I felt like I needed something more, a new thing to love. I was thinking I’d just hang around waiting for “it” to come to me. Suddenly I remembered what I’d loved a long time ago, back in the time before computers and cell phones with keyboards. Back in the time when cursive was still a thing. I remembered learning to write cursive in elementary school. First we had to get through printing. All of this learning and practicing was done in pencil first. There had to be a way to erase mistakes and pencil erasers were easier to use than ink ones. We had these little lined workbooks, the lines that delineated the heights of upper and lower case letters. I just loved the whole process. We got penmanship grades. I was good at all of it. When you got really good, making few, if any mistakes, you graduated to pens. I loved pens. For the longest time, my favorites were Parker T-ball jotters. They moved so smoothly across a piece of paper. But better things awaited and I found them. Fountain pens. Beautiful fountain pens with little tubes of ink that you popped into their chassis. For a time, I collected them. They were sleek and romantic, perfect for the aspiring writer or at least, a writer of journals. I went into the office Michael and I shared and rummaged around in my supplies. And there it was, in a beaten up metal case.
It hadn’t been used in ages so I had to order ink. When I loaded it in, voila! A working fountain pen after so many years. Indeed, this is a really small thing, this slender little pen. But vistas have opened to me and it’s going to be a wonderful companion for this time when I’ll be living smaller.
  Living Smaller A good friend of mine told me a while back that I was “living large.” I guess I’d have to agree with her.
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andrewdburton · 6 years
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How we watch TV without cable (and how much it costs)
One of the main reasons Kim and I decided to move from our condo to this quiet country cottage was to save money. We were spending far too much living in the city.
Simply moving made a huge difference to our budget. But now that the dust has settled, it’s time for us to look at other aspects of our spending to see where we can save. As part of that, I’ve been reviewing our recurring expenses to see what I can cut. Yesterday, I canceled our subscription to The New York Times (savings: $5/week or $260/year). Today, I’m reviewing how much we spend on TV and movies.
Cutting the Cord
It seems hard to believe, but it was ten years ago that I first “cut the cord”. Since then, I’ve used the Apple TV device to access most of my video entertainment.
In March 2007, my then-wife and I canceled our expensive TV package and moved to just basic cable. Our monthly bill dropped from $65.82 to $11.30. We supplemented our viewing with Hulu (free at the time), Netflix, and by purchasing shows from the iTunes store.
I’ve been cable-free for a decade now. I haven’t missed cable even once. Some folks are amazed when they hear I don’t have cable. “How do you manage?” they ask. Yet I am amazed that more people haven’t made the leap to a cable-free lifestyle. It’s easy.
One of the biggest objections I hear is, “What about live sports?” People pay big bucks just so they can have ESPN. Honestly, there are plenty of ways to watch live sports without cable. Sling, for instance, offers a package with ESPN, ESPN2, and ESPN3. Plus, Kim and I have found that if we really want to watch a game, we’ll just head to a local sports bar where we can join the crowd over a burger and a beer.
In 2007, I calculated that Kris and I were spending $27.90 each month to watch television. If we added in our Netflix subscription, that total rose to $44.89. Not bad.
Reviewing our current expenses, however, I see that Kim and I currently spend $83 per month in subscription fees — plus whatever we spend to buy individual movies and TV shows on iTunes. Holy cats! How did that happen? We’ve experienced a bit of lifestyle inflation in the TV department.
Let’s review the different services we use — and how much we pay for them. Maybe there’s a way we can save some money.
iTunes (a la carte pricing)
By far, our biggest source of video entertainment is iTunes. I’m heavily invested in the Apple ecosystem, and that’s unlikely to change anytime soon. Since 12 October 2005, when video content became available on the iTunes store, I have purchased 611 movies (about one per week) and 107 TV shows. (It’s tough to determine exactly how many seasons or episodes that represents, though.)
With iTunes, you don’t pay a subscription fee. Instead, you purchase movies and TV shows “a la carte”. If you want something, you buy it and it’s your forever (at least in theory). Personally, I prefer this model, but I know I’m in the minority.
To avoid overspending, I have two rules for iTunes purchases.
First of all, I try not to buy anything unless I think I’ll rewatch it. That means I mostly use iTunes to buy movies or classic television shows that I’ve already watched many times. (I bought all three seasons of the original Star Trek, for instance. I watch those episodes over and over and over again. What can I say? I’m a nerd!)
Second, I rarely pay full price (which is between $15 and $20 for a movie, and up to $35 for a TV season). I’ll pay full price for something like the most recent season of Game of Thrones or maybe the latest Star Wars movie. Only if I love something am I going to pay top dollar. (Another exception: If I’ve waited years and never seen a price drop. Disney movies never go on sale, so I paid twenty bucks so that my nephew could watch Frozen whenever he’s here.)
In order to keep my iTunes costs down, I watch the weekly sales. Every Tuesday, Apple lists certain movies at a discount. This week, for instance, they have select “Spy Stories” on sale at “under $10”.
There are 32 of spy movies listed this week. Some weeks the sale only lists ten movies. It varies. If a film is under ten bucks and I want to watch it, I’ll consider purchasing it — but only if the price is less than twice the rental price.
For example, this week the 2011 version of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is on sale for $9.99. If the rental price were $4.99 or higher, I might buy it. But the rental price is $3.99, so I won’t consider it.
The best deals on iTunes come on weekends. Each Friday, Apple places one film on sale for $4.99, which is roughly the price of a rental. These films are often related to something timely. Right now, for example, they’re likely to place Christmas films on sale. Around Valentine’s Day, they’ll put a romance on sale for $4.99.
Here are two final tips, one of which is a bit morbid.
Whenever a big-name actor or director dies, Apple has a sale on their body of work. Strange (and maybe a bit sad) but true. If Steven Spielberg were to die next week, for instance, Apple would have a huge sale on all of his films. When Stanley Kubrick died, they offered some crazy bundle of all his movies for cheap. I bought it.
Lastly, I make use of the iTunes wish list. Whenever I find a movie I really really want that’s too expensive (over ten bucks, basically), I add it to the list. Every few weeks, I check the list for price drops.
Kim and I mainly use iTunes for movies. We do buy TV shows — we’re watching The Orville on iTunes right now — but that’s not as common. Why not? Because most of the time there’s no reason to keep TV shows in our permanent library. Are we ever going to rewatch The Voice? No. For this reason, we tend to use other apps for our television viewing.
Hot tip: If you liked Star Trek: The Next Generation, you may like The Orville. It deliberately mimics the ST:TNG vibe in tons of ways, both obvious and subtle. But it’s hilarious. (Here’s a short trailer for the show.) Even though it’s not an official Star Trek show in any way, I’d classify it as my third-favorite Star Trek series. (I haven’t seen the new official Star Trek series because I refuse to pay for the CBS streaming service. No way!)
Netflix ($11 per month)
Our second-largest source of video content is Netflix. Kim and I have a “two screens at a time” plan for $10.99 per month. (The price just went up by a buck last week.)
For a long time, I didn’t watch much Netflix. Honestly, I think their movie selection sucks. They have a decent TV lineup, but it lags behind Hulu (see below) and doesn’t include things like Game of Thrones or Big Bang Theory. I thought I was going to cancel Netflix until they started producing original content.
And that’s where Netflix has really begun to shine. The original shows on Netflix are, quite frankly, outstanding. Left to her own devices, Kim would watch almost exclusively Netflix. (She’s a huge fan of Chelsea Handler.) Right now, Netflix has so many great original series that I can’t even keep up with them.
I don’t get $10.99 worth of entertainment from Netflix each month but Kim does.
Hulu ($12 per month with no ads)
I’ve been using Hulu for almost ten years now.
The main virtue of Hulu is catching current programs. Kim and I watch The Voice on Hulu, for instance, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. She uses it to watch This Is Us. Whenever Kim hears about a current show that sounds interesting, she checks Hulu first.
Hulu also has a decent selection of older shows, which is something that appeals to me. For some reason, I get great comfort from watching programs like The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Adam 12. Over the course of 2017, Kim and I worked our way through all 180 episodes of Seinfeld.
The primary problem with Hulu is that its selection is even worse than Netflix. The movies are woefully outdated. (They used to own the streaming rights for The Criterion Collection, but not anymore.) Its library of classic TV shows is good but spotty.
Luckily, Hulu has begun creating its own original programming too, including the award-winning The Handmaid’s Tale, which I have not yet seen.
Amazon Prime Video (part of Amazon Prime)
If you subscribe to Amazon Prime, then Amazon Prime Video is included in the service.
Like Netflix and Hulu, it offers a variety of television shows and movies — plus original content, some of which has received excellent reviews. (Last year’s Manchester by the Sea was nominated for Best Picture!) Amazon Prime Video also offers paid add-on subscriptions to services like HBO and Showtime.
Honestly, Kim and I haven’t used Amazon Prime Video much. I watched season three of Survivor on Prime a couple of years ago because it was the only service that offered it, but that’s the only thing I can remember watching. Why don’t we use it? Because there’s no Apple TV app. Until today.
Seriously: The Amazon Prime Video app for Apple TV came out today, and I’m downloading it as I write this very sentence.
There. Amazon Prime Video has been installed on my Apple TV. This opens a whole new world of video programming for me and Kim to discover. I’ve been wanting to watch several of these shows, including The Last Tycoon, Mozart in the Jungle, and — especially — The Man in the High Castle.
Time will tell if Amazon Prime Video supplants any of our other services.
Sling ($45 per month)
For folks who crave real television channels but still want to cut the cord, Sling is a terrific option. With packages starting at $20 per month, you’re able to customize the service to access the channels you’re most interested in. And you can access those channels on almost any device. (I have Sling set up on all of our computers, all of our portable devices, and on the Apple TV.)
Sling offers two primary bundles: the orange bundle ($20/month) and the blue bundle ($25/month). While there’s some overlap between these two bundles, each offers some unique channels. The orange bundle, for instance, carries ESPN and the blue bundle does not. But the blue bundle has Fox Sports channels while the orange bundle does not. If you subscribe to both bundles, you get a $5 discount so that your monthly total is $40.
On top of this, you can totally customize your subscription by adding various “packages”, such as the Spanish TV package or the news package or the comedy package.
Since summer, we’ve subscribe to the combined orange and blue bundles plus the Hollywood package (which includes Turner Classic Movies). That’s a total of $45 per month.
How much Sling do we actually watch? Very little. We certainly do not need the orange bundle, which I subscribed to because I thought I’d watch ESPN. (Turns out that in much the same way that MTV rarely shows music videos, ESPN rarely shows actual sporting events. It’s all chat shows and endless repeats of SportsCenter.)
Kim and I both agree that we can axe Sling completely without missing anything.
HBO Now ($15 per month)
HBO Now is the online version of HBO. We’ve only been subscribed for about a year. We’ve paid maybe $180 into it — but we have not received $180 worth of value. In fact, we hardly ever watch it. So why do we have it? One reason: Game of Thrones.
Until the most recent season, Game of Thrones was delayed by an entire year before being released to iTunes. Impatient man that I am — and wanting to play by the rules (no BitTorrent) — I thought we should sign up for HBO Now when it became available on Apple TV.
“We can watch the other shows too,” I told Kim. She likes Girls and True Blood and Entourage. I also thought we’d take advantage of HBO’s movie library. But you know what? We didn’t do those things. We’ve maybe watched two things on HBO Now in twelve months. That’s a colossal waste of money. (Think of all the beer I could have bought with $180!)
Besides, if I’m seeing things right, it looks as if some HBO shows are included with Amazon Prime Video. Rock on!
The Bottom Line
Let’s put all of this together. As a summary, here’s what we’re paying for individual services:
iTunes: no subscription fee — pay per show
Netflix: $11 per month
Hulu: $12 per month
Amazon Prime Video: cost is built into our Amazon Prime subscription
Sling: $45 per month
HBO Now: $15 per month
We’re paying a total of $83 per month (or roughly $1000 per year) in subscription fees. Plus our Amazon Prime membership. Plus whatever it costs for individual purchases from iTunes.
That’s too much.
Fortunately, we can easily trim $60 per month by getting rid of Sling and HBO Now, two services we barely use. That’d save us $720 every year. I’m comfortable keeping Netflix and Hulu. We use both pretty often, so that $23 per month is acceptable.
So, there you have it. It’s perfectly possible to watch all the TV you want without cable. But if your goal is to save money by doing so, you have to be careful. If you’re not, you can end up paying as much (or more!) than you were before you cut the cord.
There’s nothing wrong with paying for TV — if you use what you’re paying for. But if you’re not getting value for your money (as in our case with Sling and HBO Now), then it’s in your best interest to cancel services and put that cash to work someplace else.
Footnote Based on this post, you might think I watch a lot of TV. I don’t. I watch maybe an episode while I eat dinner with Kim on the week nights, then maybe one movie each Saturday and Sunday. Kim watches tons more than I do.
But don’t get the idea that I think I’m more virtuous for watching less television. I still waste my time, but I’m much more likely to waste it playing videogames. (As some of you already know, my game of choice is Hearthstone. But I’m also a fan of the Nintendo Switch, especially retro games like Mario Brothers.)
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How we watch TV without cable (and how much it costs)
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/wealth/how-we-watch-tv-without-cable-and-how-much-it-costs/
How we watch TV without cable (and how much it costs)
youtube
One of the main reasons Kim and I decided to move from our condo to this quiet country cottage was to save money. We were spending far too much living in the city.
Simply moving made a huge difference to our budget. But now that the dust has settled, it’s time for us to look at other aspects of our spending to see where we can save. As part of that, I’ve been reviewing our recurring expenses to see what I can cut. Yesterday, I canceled our subscription to The New York Times (savings: $5/week or $260/year). Today, I’m reviewing how much we spend on TV and movies.
Cutting the Cord
It seems hard to believe, but it was ten years ago that I first “cut the cord”. Since then, I’ve used the Apple TV device to access most of my video entertainment.
In March 2007, my then-wife and I canceled our expensive TV package and moved to just basic cable. Our monthly bill dropped from $65.82 to $11.30. We supplemented our viewing with Hulu (free at the time), Netflix, and by purchasing shows from the iTunes store.
I’ve been cable-free for a decade now. I haven’t missed cable even once. Some folks are amazed when they hear I don’t have cable. “How do you manage?” they ask. Yet I am amazed that more people haven’t made the leap to a cable-free lifestyle. It’s easy.
One of the biggest objections I hear is, “What about live sports?” People pay big bucks just so they can have ESPN. Honestly, there are plenty of ways to watch live sports without cable. Sling, for instance, offers a package with ESPN, ESPN2, and ESPN3. Plus, Kim and I have found that if we really want to watch a game, we’ll just head to a local sports bar where we can join the crowd over a burger and a beer.
In 2007, I calculated that Kris and I were spending $27.90 each month to watch television. If we added in our Netflix subscription, that total rose to $44.89. Not bad.
Reviewing our current expenses, however, I see that Kim and I currently spend $83 per month in subscription fees — plus whatever we spend to buy individual movies and TV shows on iTunes. Holy cats! How did that happen? We’ve experienced a bit of lifestyle inflation in the TV department.
Let’s review the different services we use — and how much we pay for them. Maybe there’s a way we can save some money.
iTunes (a la carte pricing)
By far, our biggest source of video entertainment is iTunes. I’m heavily invested in the Apple ecosystem, and that’s unlikely to change anytime soon. Since 12 October 2005, when video content became available on the iTunes store, I have purchased 611 movies (about one per week) and 107 TV shows. (It’s tough to determine exactly how many seasons or episodes that represents, though.)
With iTunes, you don’t pay a subscription fee. Instead, you purchase movies and TV shows “a la carte”. If you want something, you buy it and it’s your forever (at least in theory). Personally, I prefer this model, but I know I’m in the minority.
To avoid overspending, I have two rules for iTunes purchases.
First of all, I try not to buy anything unless I think I’ll rewatch it. That means I mostly use iTunes to buy movies or classic television shows that I’ve already watched many times. (I bought all three seasons of the original Star Trek, for instance. I watch those episodes over and over and over again. What can I say? I’m a nerd!)
Second, I rarely pay full price (which is between $15 and $20 for a movie, and up to $35 for a TV season). I’ll pay full price for something like the most recent season of Game of Thrones or maybe the latest Star Wars movie. Only if I love something am I going to pay top dollar. (Another exception: If I’ve waited years and never seen a price drop. Disney movies never go on sale, so I paid twenty bucks so that my nephew could watch Frozen whenever he’s here.)
In order to keep my iTunes costs down, I watch the weekly sales. Every Tuesday, Apple lists certain movies at a discount. This week, for instance, they have select “Spy Stories” on sale at “under $10”.
There are 32 of spy movies listed this week. Some weeks the sale only lists ten movies. It varies. If a film is under ten bucks and I want to watch it, I’ll consider purchasing it — but only if the price is less than twice the rental price.
For example, this week the 2011 version of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is on sale for $9.99. If the rental price were $4.99 or higher, I might buy it. But the rental price is $3.99, so I won’t consider it.
The best deals on iTunes come on weekends. Each Friday, Apple places one film on sale for $4.99, which is roughly the price of a rental. These films are often related to something timely. Right now, for example, they’re likely to place Christmas films on sale. Around Valentine’s Day, they’ll put a romance on sale for $4.99.
Here are two final tips, one of which is a bit morbid.
Whenever a big-name actor or director dies, Apple has a sale on their body of work. Strange (and maybe a bit sad) but true. If Steven Spielberg were to die next week, for instance, Apple would have a huge sale on all of his films. When Stanley Kubrick died, they offered some crazy bundle of all his movies for cheap. I bought it.
Lastly, I make use of the iTunes wish list. Whenever I find a movie I really really want that’s too expensive (over ten bucks, basically), I add it to the list. Every few weeks, I check the list for price drops.
Kim and I mainly use iTunes for movies. We do buy TV shows — we’re watching The Orville on iTunes right now — but that’s not as common. Why not? Because most of the time there’s no reason to keep TV shows in our permanent library. Are we ever going to rewatch The Voice? No. For this reason, we tend to use other apps for our television viewing.
Hot tip: If you liked Star Trek: The Next Generation, you may like The Orville. It deliberately mimics the ST:TNG vibe in tons of ways, both obvious and subtle. But it’s hilarious. (Here’s a short trailer for the show.) Even though it’s not an official Star Trek show in any way, I’d classify it as my third-favorite Star Trek series. (I haven’t seen the new official Star Trek series because I refuse to pay for the CBS streaming service. No way!)
Netflix ($11 per month)
Our second-largest source of video content is Netflix. Kim and I have a “two screens at a time” plan for $10.99 per month. (The price just went up by a buck last week.)
For a long time, I didn’t watch much Netflix. Honestly, I think their movie selection sucks. They have a decent TV lineup, but it lags behind Hulu (see below) and doesn’t include things like Game of Thrones or Big Bang Theory. I thought I was going to cancel Netflix until they started producing original content.
And that’s where Netflix has really begun to shine. The original shows on Netflix are, quite frankly, outstanding. Left to her own devices, Kim would watch almost exclusively Netflix. (She’s a huge fan of Chelsea Handler.) Right now, Netflix has so many great original series that I can’t even keep up with them.
I don’t get $10.99 worth of entertainment from Netflix each month but Kim does.
Hulu ($12 per month with no ads)
I’ve been using Hulu for almost ten years now.
The main virtue of Hulu is catching current programs. Kim and I watch The Voice on Hulu, for instance, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. She uses it to watch This Is Us. Whenever Kim hears about a current show that sounds interesting, she checks Hulu first.
Hulu also has a decent selection of older shows, which is something that appeals to me. For some reason, I get great comfort from watching programs like The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Adam 12. Over the course of 2017, Kim and I worked our way through all 180 episodes of Seinfeld.
The primary problem with Hulu is that its selection is even worse than Netflix. The movies are woefully outdated. (They used to own the streaming rights for The Criterion Collection, but not anymore.) Its library of classic TV shows is good but spotty.
Luckily, Hulu has begun creating its own original programming too, including the award-winning The Handmaid’s Tale, which I have not yet seen.
Amazon Prime Video (part of Amazon Prime)
If you subscribe to Amazon Prime, then Amazon Prime Video is included in the service.
Like Netflix and Hulu, it offers a variety of television shows and movies — plus original content, some of which has received excellent reviews. (Last year’s Manchester by the Sea was nominated for Best Picture!) Amazon Prime Video also offers paid add-on subscriptions to services like HBO and Showtime.
Honestly, Kim and I haven’t used Amazon Prime Video much. I watched season three of Survivor on Prime a couple of years ago because it was the only service that offered it, but that’s the only thing I can remember watching. Why don’t we use it? Because there’s no Apple TV app. Until today.
Seriously: The Amazon Prime Video app for Apple TV came out today, and I’m downloading it as I write this very sentence.
There. Amazon Prime Video has been installed on my Apple TV. This opens a whole new world of video programming for me and Kim to discover. I’ve been wanting to watch several of these shows, including The Last Tycoon, Mozart in the Jungle, and — especially — The Man in the High Castle.
Time will tell if Amazon Prime Video supplants any of our other services.
Sling ($45 per month)
For folks who crave real television channels but still want to cut the cord, Sling is a terrific option. With packages starting at $20 per month, you’re able to customize the service to access the channels you’re most interested in. And you can access those channels on almost any device. (I have Sling set up on all of our computers, all of our portable devices, and on the Apple TV.)
Sling offers two primary bundles: the orange bundle ($20/month) and the blue bundle ($25/month). While there’s some overlap between these two bundles, each offers some unique channels. The orange bundle, for instance, carries ESPN and the blue bundle does not. But the blue bundle has Fox Sports channels while the orange bundle does not. If you subscribe to both bundles, you get a $5 discount so that your monthly total is $40.
On top of this, you can totally customize your subscription by adding various “packages”, such as the Spanish TV package or the news package or the comedy package.
Since summer, we’ve subscribe to the combined orange and blue bundles plus the Hollywood package (which includes Turner Classic Movies). That’s a total of $45 per month.
How much Sling do we actually watch? Very little. We certainly do not need the orange bundle, which I subscribed to because I thought I’d watch ESPN. (Turns out that in much the same way that MTV rarely shows music videos, ESPN rarely shows actual sporting events. It’s all chat shows and endless repeats of SportsCenter.)
Kim and I both agree that we can axe Sling completely without missing anything.
HBO Now ($15 per month)
HBO Now is the online version of HBO. We’ve only been subscribed for about a year. We’ve paid maybe $180 into it — but we have not received $180 worth of value. In fact, we hardly ever watch it. So why do we have it? One reason: Game of Thrones.
Until the most recent season, Game of Thrones was delayed by an entire year before being released to iTunes. Impatient man that I am — and wanting to play by the rules (no BitTorrent) — I thought we should sign up for HBO Now when it became available on Apple TV.
“We can watch the other shows too,” I told Kim. She likes Girls and True Blood and Entourage. I also thought we’d take advantage of HBO’s movie library. But you know what? We didn’t do those things. We’ve maybe watched two things on HBO Now in twelve months. That’s a colossal waste of money. (Think of all the beer I could have bought with $180!)
Besides, if I’m seeing things right, it looks as if some HBO shows are included with Amazon Prime Video. Rock on!
The Bottom Line
Let’s put all of this together. As a summary, here’s what we’re paying for individual services:
iTunes: no subscription fee — pay per show
Netflix: $11 per month
Hulu: $12 per month
Amazon Prime Video: cost is built into our Amazon Prime subscription
Sling: $45 per month
HBO Now: $15 per month
We’re paying a total of $83 per month (or roughly $1000 per year) in subscription fees. Plus our Amazon Prime membership. Plus whatever it costs for individual purchases from iTunes.
That’s too much.
Fortunately, we can easily trim $60 per month by getting rid of Sling and HBO Now, two services we barely use. That’d save us $720 every year. I’m comfortable keeping Netflix and Hulu. We use both pretty often, so that $23 per month is acceptable.
So, there you have it. It’s perfectly possible to watch all the TV you want without cable. But if your goal is to save money by doing so, you have to be careful. If you’re not, you can end up paying as much (or more!) than you were before you cut the cord.
There’s nothing wrong with paying for TV — if you use what you’re paying for. But if you’re not getting value for your money (as in our case with Sling and HBO Now), then it’s in your best interest to cancel services and put that cash to work someplace else.
Footnote Based on this post, you might think I watch a lot of TV. I don’t. I watch maybe an episode while I eat dinner with Kim on the week nights, then maybe one movie each Saturday and Sunday. Kim watches tons more than I do.
But don’t get the idea that I think I’m more virtuous for watching less television. I still waste my time, but I’m much more likely to waste it playing videogames. (As some of you already know, my game of choice is Hearthstone. But I’m also a fan of the Nintendo Switch, especially retro games like Mario Brothers.)
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