#it's literally not worth it to change it and im not going to

[pinkpeccary]

another ta is being super obnoxious about the homeworks and i am resisting the urge to respond to his message of "would you mind updating the solution to problem 12 to [technically more accurate but significantly more confusing and difficult explanation]?" by just saying "i mind" and then turning off notifications.

#ta drama #he said he's not taking off points for it but will be commenting the correct solution and like. #the solutions we write are literally just for the graders (who are all in this chat) i don't think i need to rewrite his dumb explanation #also i shared the solution over a week ago and half the submissions have been graded already #it's literally not worth it to change it and im not going to #im probably just going to ignore it which is kinda shitty since he tagged me directly in the message #but that feels less aggressive than publically telling him i think that's stupid and im not doing it #anyways there are only seven of us and two of the other TAs are Impossible to work with #hands down worst part of the job #ollie talks

[transmascissues]

Your HRT and surgery progress post is so cool, I’m gonna start T next year and seeing other trans dudes who are ahead of me in their medical transition is so encouraging.

I do have a question though that I’ve been thinking about for a while. If it’s weird and you don’t wanna answer I understand. My pre-T body has a considerable amount of butt, some of it muscle, but also fat. I was wondering about pant sizes once the fat gets redistributed by testosterone. Does your pant size tend to go down? Cause right now my main issue with men’s pants is to get my butt in there (with women’s it was the same).

I’m not coming from a diet culture “yay smaller clothes size” direction though. I have some cool pants that fit well right now and I’m worried that I might have to buy new pants if they start sagging too much 😅

I know every body is different, so maybe some followers can share their experiences too? Thanks in advance 👖

i might not be the best person to answer this because i gained a pretty significant amount of weight from being on t so my size in basically everything went up, but i will say i think i have less butt compared to the rest of my body now than i did before, so i would guess that if your overall size stays the same and the fat is just shifted around, it is possible to see your pant size go down as a result of fat moving away from the butt region. i’m not sure how common it is, but it wouldn’t surprise me!

#rip to the pair of pants i ripped like couple months into being on t #bc i didn’t realize how much my size had changed until it was Too Late #literally not a single pair of jeans that i owned fit me anymore it was Wild #went home to my mom like heyyyyyyyy can we go shoppingggggg #can you pay for it bc im broke and need a whole new wardrobeeeeee #so worth it tho bc i genuinely love the size im at now. not sure my moms wallet would agree but who asked her anyway #ask answered

[cj-the-random-artist]

Solo Skizz!!  And Camel Bubbles!!

(And an assortment of other doodles ahem)

Skizz doodle because sometimes ya just feel like drawing Skizz, ya know??  Let’s be honest Skizz needs more appreciation.  He’s amazin.

Also, have this assortment of other doodles!!  Which I wasn’t going to post without a big doodle cuz I don’t normally do that.  So.  Doodles!!

That said I hope y’all are having a good day and that you enjoy this assortment of random arts and that good things happen for you today <3

#skizzleman #skizzleman fanart #good times with scar #tango tek #solidarity gaming #bdoubleo100 #smajor1995 #pearlescentmoon #not gonna fill all the fanart tags with doodles cuz i dont know that its worth my meh sketches??? #but regardless here they be for your viewing pleasure #i have decided from now until forever (aka i change my mind) that i will be drawing scar with a ponytail because yes #also sheriff jimmy is so fun to draw #and yes every time i draw him. he looks different. i dont wanna talk about it lmao #and skizz gets a few new scars in my design for him cuz i think. i think he looks cool with em #also if ya dont watch skizz streams im politely requesting that u go to one at some point because this man is a literal ray of sunshine #that is the end of my rambling in the tags i hope you enjoyed my incoherence :D

[sydmarch]

why did barnes and noble absolutely fuck the nook app what do you MEAN you can no longer purchase an ebook direct in the app & you have to add it to your wishlist then purchase it from the website then wait for an email to download it???

#& it immediately locked me out of the account after one wrong password attempt & since ive used the app literally forevwr #its on a shared account w my mom which was never an issue bcus she doesnt read ebooks & would have to go out of her way to check what im #buying & never has/would but now since they changed it its like #'hey do you want us to send the download link to your mom?' so she'll have to forward it to me & absolutely see what im buying?? #the one time im buying something id actively not want her to see jnstead of some random scifi novel? #fuck OFF i really had to makr a new account just for this one thing thanks b&n #i should learn how to pirate books it was never worth the effort before but fuck this #texticles

[1ovestay]

oooo the melancholy is strong tonight….

#got into a spiral of panicking that something bad is going to happen to people i care about when i move #and there won’t be anything i can do about it #and the scary part is that is not even like that’s not impossible #like it quite literally happened in june when my grandma passed while i was on the plane back #and like i know there’s no use in worrying about it because i can’t change the fact that it’s a possibility but it’s making me feel sick #i’m going to be on the other side of the world and it costs thousands to fly back #and im also just really going to miss everyone.. 2 years is a long time and like yeah ill come visit but my heart hurts thinking about it #i wish the hard parts were easier #it’s still worth it to me especially because i know that if things do get bad i have el with me and we can face it together #and im so so ready for our sweet little life together #today i’m just caught up in the bad scary emotions.. #anyway… i think im going to go cry again and then maybe watch eeaao #p

[sleevebuscemii]

.

#actually severely depressed that i wont be able tp go see my friends this weekend because i booked the flight wrong #ive been looking forward to this for fucking weeks and now its just. all down the drain because i was fucking stupid. #and changing the flight is gonna cost so much money and its not worth it and i still have to pay that $100 for my no-show #and im getting a haircut and i have to buy a wedding gift like. #i have too many expenses to make spending an EXTRA $130 on a flight to be worth it just to see a friend for one day #im just so fucking. angry. like if i just fucking paid attention i wouldn’t have missed my appointment and had to pay that fee. #if i had just paid attention i would’ve realized i never changed the flight time a fucking month ago. #like it just feels like such small bullshit to have ruined so much and for fucking what?!? #and now if i try to go another weekend its like. i already took time off for this one #its too short notice to have everyone change their plans #it’s still gonna cost me $100+ #and ramadan is coming up so i’d have to go very soon which will make it even More expensive #like. I HAD IT ALL FUCKING FIGURED OUT AND NOW. #now im out $100 and wasted $200 on a flight home to literally get to see everyone for two seconds and then leave immediately #m

[arolesbianism]

I've been playing the new cotl update and I generally like it but god do I fucking hate like all of the balance changes just let things be strong man

#rat rambles #like Im ok with the dice relics getting nerfed because they were pretty rediculous before #but making them fragile relics is absolutely terrible and unacceptable #I dont wanna be mean abt it but like time and time again theyve nerfed things way too fucking hard and only some of them get unfucked #like I am not even slightly exaggerating when I say this one change has made all of the dice the worst relics in the game #making them a one time use just completely fucked up the balance of them especially when theres other relics that are also deeply powerful #for getting health And are good damage dealers #it also showcases that they do not understand just how bad most of the fragile relics already are #like genuinely I am baffled by this decision its been making this update so much harder to enjoy #also apparently they massively lowered the level cap which? sucks so fucking bad? #like there's ways to let things be strong without being overpowered #like literally just make it harder to level up followers as they get to the stupid high levels thatd be a much better way to go about it #because lemme tell you its obnoxious to go out of your way to pour that much attention into a follower but rewarding #and for the dice and similarly broken relics just add an extra slow charge speed #you can throw kalamars ear into that pile too along with the bomb one since it's never worth picking up as a fragile relic #like I do genuinely like this new update and what it adds so far its just that the actual yknow gameplay got a smidge bit worse #and since I like the combat in this game any negative changes on it hit much harder than most quality of life stuff #also for the actual new content I do like it but I do hope this is the last big content update at least for a while #I worry abt the game becoming too crowded with mechanics to the point it stops feeling like a coherent game #and to be clear in my personal opinion this update is already bluring the lines of those fronts #again I do genuinely rly like this update it just makes me worry abt the future of this game #I hope if they do make another larger update they focus more on expanding upon already existing mechanics instead of making new ones #like I think sin could rly use more things to do with it #like with how many ways there are to generate it its strange that almost all of the things you do with it are cosmetic #although tbf I havent been dungeoning much today so maybe theres some hidden stuff to use sin for there lol #also one huge thing that Im confused by is the choice to put the sewing building on the first tier of the inspiration tree #cause it uses silk. aka the stuff from the last dungeon most players unlock #I feel like itd be more appropriate to put it as an ofbranch of the housing tree #so basically my review of this update is that its fun and I like the new mechanics but they do feel a bit half baked #and Im not a fan of the balance changes and Im also not a fan of the gun but thats more of a me problem

[godofsmallthings]

the absolute hardest pill to swallow for me ever has been how unglamorous most music industry jobs are. yes, even the ones you think are the coolest ones (especially those).

#ik i have changed a lot in the past couple years #and reallyyyyyy shifted the way i think about/approach fandom #but you have to understand that it's coming from developing a professional understanding of how the business works #and having to reconcile my place as a fangirl with my aspirational place as an industry professional #those two things can coexist to an extent but there has to be some give #and i think i will be in this limbo state of figuring out how to navigate fandom for a while longer #but i can't interact with it in the way i did before #idk the thing i think i have finally been able to truly internalize is that these people are literally just people #like obviously when i lean into my swiftie brain taylor is everything/a god/etc #but everyone making these decisions are just people #idk where im going with this i just had a convo today abt entering the industry as a former fangirl that kind of changed my life #/just really validated everything that ive been feeling #i just get so frustrated when i find myself leaning back into it. i need to get better about not participating in discourse. #it's not remotely worth it to me personally #(can u tell i am trying soooo hard not to specifically talk abt gaylor dgakdjskhdd) #vi is typing...

[winterdusktales]

jungshin and her losers signing off

#this ending made me forget how much i hated choi cheolwoong #im a trash for this kind of trios in kdramas #and i love that they didnt make cheolwoong completely change #theyre still pretty much the same #from their highschool days #and i love that their wounds arent completely healed yet #literally and figuratively #but theyre living through it and moving on to be happier #the writer is so unserious for that message on top tho #tough times = going to prison joining a gang and almost getting yourself killed every other day #yeah everyone goes through it #lmao they knew what we had to go through emotionally since ep 2 #anyway another drama added to my fav list #glad i still gave it a chance and didnt give up halfwat #when idk where the story was going #pretty worth it ngl #kdrama #oasis #kbs oasis #jang dong yoon #seol in ah #choo yeong woo #jana watches

[nexus-nebulae]

god i fucking hate the feeling of knowing exactly what you need to help you and telling people that clearly and loudly and asking for help in the most specific ways you know how and still being ignored or being told they don't know what to do for me

#negative #like i'm literally fucking explaining it to you in the clearest fucking words imaginable #and i'm still being told I'M WRONG or being seen as unimportant or not worth the energy #my entire life has been entirely built around changing everything about myself for others' comfort #i'm at my absolute limit #i've met everyone else halfway but they all expect me to do ALL of the work #i can't do any more i need support from SOMEONE PLEASE #im literally at a point where i'm fucking tempted to buy 'friends' off of fiverr just to have someone to TALK to i'm fucking dying #i just hate that the theme of my ENTIRE life has been 'you're too much to deal with go away' #when i don't even have a personality at this point because all i've ever been allowed to be is for other peoples' comfort #and my last friendship being me trying my absolute hardest and BEGGING for connection and just being met with a silent brick wall #and just ending with an unceremonious complete ghosting with no explanation #when literally the ONLY thing i was asking for was like. to maybe have a fun conversation once every few days #i just #i just want someone who wants to connect with me because they genuinely find me as a person fun to be around or interesting or SOMETHING #not someone who just talks to me to get me to stop crying so much because it's annoying when i whine

[ironmanstan]

Omg i am remembering why i fucking hate english classes ^__^

#i cant read i have actual for real problems my god #im like /srs about this like when i read things i have to reread anything longer than a sentence like 3 times at least #bc the words all mix up and the word orders just do not connect in my head and i can read them i know the words audibly #but they dont make sense at all #and its like the same thing reading numbers does to me #and in books i used to just reread constantly or just skip words like actively reading every other word in a book #and well me when i get a 60% in english and i go check how bc i understood the lesson??? it was so easy #and then i read the problems i got wrong and its like oh. its all bc i mixed up. the words. and clicked the wrong ones. #like im looking through and its like haha. fuck. great great great i am soo fine i literally know the answers to these but i get them wrong #bc i cant fucking read. so cool so cool ooooufhhjg my god #i dont havw time to care about this i have portfolio in a week baby aha i will scream #this is worth 10% of my grade wowwwww cool ill die now #i got a 97 before this . i love everything hahhah #the gamer speaks uwu #sorry guys i am built to write papers and thats it #IM SO MAD IM SO MAD ITS SUCH EASY BULLSHIT I ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIOJS ABOUT FORMATTING AND MLA AND SHIT CORRECTLY #AND I MISS THE ONES W THE ACTUAL EXAMPLES BC I GET MIXED UP ON ALL THE NAMES AND THERES SO MANY OPTIONS WITH ONLY ONE WORD CHANGED #AND I CANT FUCIFUING READ IT !!!! I ANSWER EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS RIGHT AND I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT GETTING THE STUPID EASY SHIT WRONG #COOL #GREAT #my fucuging god #vent #i guess. i love school i love school #i get a bad grade one time and die ab it

[funerals]

Potentially worth looking into HPPD depending on how long ago u took the bennys. I was occasionally seeing shit for a few years after my Benadryl era it is a possibility. Ur so right though don’t do Benadryl it’s generally always a bad time 💕💕

ty yeah I need to stop ill look into it it was just yesterday that I like took more than usual and mixed it w dmx which is like an idiotic thing to do but like i don't even really care anymore like I don't see anything the whole time or when im sober it just like for maybe like an hour or two at a time seeing shit but nothing ever as bad as yesterday not mixing that shit again AND YEAH benadryl sucks ass never start it no matter how many fucking idiots like me u see talking about it on the internet bc we only tried bc we saw other idiots talking about it on the internet and we all regret it and have bad shit wrong with us now physically and mentally

#plus it doesnt even really feel that good it kinda actually feels bad it sucks #not worth the side affects and dependency issues at fucking all ever never ever ever #like if i could go back in time and change one thing about my life id go back and stop myself from trying benadryl bc i was home schooled #and depressed senior year w no friends and everybody was doing it #drug m #like that shit legit permanently fucked up my HEART i have a resting heartrate of like 100 to 130 literally all the time now #instead of like 60 #at least it was probably the benadryl the problems with it being so fast didnt start until like after i was abusing it for a while #and when i was high i could like feel my heart beating faster and faster like thankfully its just fast theres no other damage #and it couldve been bc i have heart issues in my family already and that just triggered it but either way its literally the biggest regret #of my entire fucking life bro #bc now instead of dying of heart disease at like 80 or 90 im gonna have a heart attack at 40 or 50 and there i fucking go

[pepprs]

future bedroom tour 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

#this is my first time actually being inside it bc ive only ever seen it at night. and literally when i tell you my heart is SINGING. it’s #going to be so beautiful im so so so so excited. it might even be done within a month like can you believe it. omg #purrs #i went from hating that the renovation is happening to realizing that the quality of life improvement thst could come from it is so worth it #and ik the kitchen hasn’t been busted down yet so that willummmm change me for the worse. and i still miss the deck. but omg i will have my #own tiny lovely bedroom and i am going to make it so cozy 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 and there’s something so special to think that i get to be the first #person to ever use that room too like. omg. creating rituals and traditions or whatever 😳

[finalhaunts]

Siigghh

#vent #idk man. feeling hopeless again #it is. so hard to be optimistic about the future when it is genuinely difficult imagining myself anywhere else but here #its difficult imagining myself getting out of this house that’s actually through a realistic scenario and isn’t just wishful andromanticized #my friends are trying to help me get out of here at least but is it even going to work out? is this all even going to be worth it? #idk. #imagining myself in a happier scenario genuinely truly does not feel right. it doesnt feel realistic. it doesnt feel possible. #and whenever I think about it I just feel weird because I know I can’t get my hopes up like that #the thought of myself being happy doesn’t feel normal. #i feel like i’ve just been stuck in the same place i’ve always been and i always will. both literally and metaphorically #i’m always going to be in this shitty house around my shitty parents rotting away like i have been for nearly 18 years now #and i feel like despite my age i haven’t actually grown up. I havent grown as a person or changed or anything. #i dont have any big achievements. i’ve never worked. I put off getting drivers ed for years until now #I don’t know how to cook or to do things the right way unless i’m shown #literally 80% of my fucking life has been spent in my room or in school #i feel like i’ve just been in stasis for years and the thought of actually having a life feels impossible. #i get the whole ‘you don’t want to die you just want an escape’ thing people say but I genuinely can’t think of any other way I could really #escape this. #the only thing that’s really keeping me from actually going ahead and killing myself is the fact that it feels selfish. i feel selfish. #because its going to hurt my friends and im going to feel even worse about it if i survive #I’m honestly envious of all my friends lives. why couldn’t i have gotten that lucky.

[abluescarfonwaston]

I would like to be sad a little more.

#Hey im not looking for advice right now and its very much rubbing me the wrong way #i just. i worked on that fic for months. and i get that you cant write for others and i like it so whats it matter #but 23k. 23k and the only person who thought it was worth a comment was my friend #and i get that im being a whiner and and ass and snapping at someone who's offering advice in good faith is rude #but i just want to be saf about it #thats probably more than 40 hours of my life #if you spent fourty hours on a cake and you and a friend were the only one who enjoyed it you'd probably think you should have been doing #literally anything else with your time #and i dont want advice on what i should have done or what i should do next or how i need to not write for others- #I KNOW OKAY #i just want to be sad about it #ive had plenty of posts and fics flop and it sucks. we regroup and move on #but God Damnit cant i be upset and mourn the time spent (spent not wasted) when its more than six months of work #thats not even worth a fucking <3 #yada you dont owe writers your comments or time Look i get it. #... its not even porn. at least then you know why no one says a word. it just sucked. #i just wanted to commiserate with my friends for a few minutes and now i cant even do that because i snapped at well meaning advice #instead of just saying right off the bat #*big inhale* okay. times up time to go do something productive #because i cant change it and laying here wont change where im at #back to it. #i got my clothes ironed ill make my bed and lie in it i think

[lyanro]

I don’t want to live in this world lolllllll

#suicidal ideation tw #you dont need to comfort me or anything im just yelling lmao #we as a country are free falling backwards we as a planet are literally… #there is just so much evidence that we’re fucked and no one with the power to change it CARES. i genuinely cannot wrap my head around it #i cannot comprehend how they don’t CARE. #and the situations in the Congo and Ukraine and Palestine #and the fact that I fear for my life going into a cub foods or a movie theater or a fucking HOSPITAL #man it just. it’s funny #i used to think I was not good enough for the world #now it’s become more of a question ‘is this a world worth living in?’ #im not gonna do anything you don’t have to ‘talk me down’ or anything lol #i just #needed to say it #does anyone else feel this way #i just feel so hopeless