#it's not right ive never lived right

[s0fter-sin]

something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line

“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”

“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"

but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.

he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.

his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.

ghost doesn't let him.

"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."

soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.

he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."

the ice in soap's eyes fractures.

ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.

“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”

#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him #but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’ #after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister #but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him #hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that #so he has to balance it #and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory #if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all #reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders #and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead #only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface #he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity #instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order #and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back #and help him through the after #the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order #it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost #and its his touch that brings him back to the man #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #cod #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost x soap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

[puppyeared]

doodles of my fav sillies

anton belongs to @poicyss

#my brain is a barbie dreamhouse and theyre all just living in it #im especially fond of the second one because my mom used to hold me like that all the time <3 #im drawing them a lot lately because im being crushed by the horrors and have to compensate for it somehow #homemade comfort blorbos...... #watch me draw anton inconsistently bc i can never decide if i wanna draw him close to how he actually looks #or yassify him and give him soft fluffy hair and kind eyes and defined features. head in my hands #i dont really have a lot of drawing ideas for them bc they dont have like. a canon storyline or anything methinks #its just stuff me and bow toss around and giggle abt thru messages lol. maybe ill draw infant vincent one of these days #i just come up with stuff and draw them doing it. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside #cuz like anton works for lobocorp as an abnormality BUT hes super duper chill and cute and does his funny little tasks so its fine #AND hes unkillable. auggie is an oc ive had since like 6th grade and i smushed them together. and vincent was for fun but i got attached #i dont have much of a read on anton either bc i think hes meant to be more of an insert character??? if im using that right #on one hand i dont think too hard abt anything being ooc since im not taking it seriously. on the other hand i just hold them in my hands #and stare into space until i can come up with something to draw since i dont have much to go off of. but its fun to build on small tidbits! #i think bow called it an au so i guess??? its an au????? im not really sure. bow if youre reading this im just willy nilly #the only thing i know for sure is that they boink like rabbits. im talking gomez and morticia levels of boinking #maybe ill go back and look at my old doodles for them and redraw em lol #myart #my art #my oc #oc #friend oc #augusta #anton #vincent #sillies family #doodles

[1978-combo-organ]

supposed to be a redraw of this drawing i did february last year. might be a secret other thing now

#every now and again something possesses me to draw vincent aurelius lin in a style ive never drawn anything in before #he sort of looks like a little mole rat #ignore how his pants arent. right he washed them with the wrong colors and they lost their pattern <3 #theres something deeply wrong w him and i am living for it #art #vincent aurelius lin #adamandi #might redraw the campfire thing next idk

[cosmicdenro]

part THREE. gootnite

#hope u guys have been ok #hard to be with all the deranged shit going on #copperright #right hand man reborn #THE FNF ONE WAS FOR IMPOSTOR V4'S ANNIVERSARY. #reginald copperbottom #rhm #and the last one is lethal league...... ive been playing lethal league blaze.... #dave panpa #burt curtis #curtipan #scriboozles #my love lives on with copperright. i will never forget #also big fan of henry and ellie being funnily homophobic help

[courtney-deserved-better]

telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person

#they live rent free in my head as you can tell #ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney #tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship #aughhhh i just. love them so much #and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens #because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!! #like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he #after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak #meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes #just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even #though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein #shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for #one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right #okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them #platonic alecourtney

[skitskatdacat63]

2011 Japan Post-Qualifying

#dedicated to the anon who asked me if i knew which gp this was from! i ended up being right hehehe #AND thank you so so so much to suzuki-ecstar for finding and sending me the clip!!!! i appreciate it sm!!!! <3 #(ik told you already but actually the clip you sent is better than the original archive i had so im very happy) #i know a super old post of this already exists but now pls take my offering of it w higher quality/frame rate!! #im usually not a huge fan of this seb hair era but godddddd he looks so good in this #i will never get over the 2nd gif of jense play-punching him #ive seen it a million times by now but this one is better quality than any of the others and im fucking dying #THEY'RE SO ENDEARING WHY WERE THEY LIKE THISSSSSSSSS #and mark's there too i guess...(kidding hahaha but god his live slug react game is strong) #okay also must say now that im in a different time zone i have absolutely no fucking idea when to post its so confusing to me #jenson button #sebastian vettel #sebson #mark webber #jb22 #sv5 #2011 japanese grand prix #2011 japanese gp #we do a little bit of f1 #f1 #formula 1 #formula one

[july-19th-club]

i think the funniest neal relationship is when he's dating sara because 90% of it is 'we both like to be dressed to the nines at all hours of the day and night, we should fuck about it' and the instant they have any disagreement whatsoever they're like oh right our expensive and impractical taste in clothing is the only thing we have in common

#she was like oh i want adventure so i will date a conman...wait not this much! babe stop doing art crime and just be theoretically bad! #hes like oh i have absolutely 100% moved on from the late great One Real Relationship ive ever had in my life i'm fine we're fine it's fine #sara doesn't think lunch counts as a date and he never thinks to plan real dates because he more or less counts all time spent together #and their relationship STARTS while El is telling sara how much better her and peter's lives are for having neal in them #and sara's like 'well what if i don't trust him' and El's like 'git gud i guess. i trust him with my life' #and the parallel conversation is peter gushing about how lucky in love he's been and neal going :( i dont think that's me :( #and peter going oh you just have to give it time :) you just need the right people :) you got this :) #like sara's cool but the two of them were doomed from the start as any sort of romantic partners #we did get some great leyendecker-esque scenes out of them posing in clothes though. so that was cool #white collar #q

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[rottedbrainz]

Spoilers for Nuppets Mayhem under the cut

Have these doodles of Floyd a Teeth being Animal's dads 👀

#art #the muppets #dr teeth and the electric mayhem #myart #muppets #floyd pepper #muppets mayhem #animal muppet #dr. teeth #dr.teeth x floyd #dr. pepper #Ive never understood why people shipped teeth and floyd but after muppets Mayhem i completely understand #they literally ran away with each other and raised a kid and spent half of their lives writing a song together #thats real commitment right there man

[defences-down]

.

#ive been trying to not publicly discuss mess etc in recent months cause it is what it is #but it's important that i say this. love isn't less in silence. no one is owed a coming out narrative regardless of how long or how much #time you've spent here. it's their lives not ours #stunts are going to happen. dont fight people process in small groups #a boilerplate denial happens like clockwork around here and closets exist. #closeted people exist so treat them right. i know we love them and want whats right for them but it’s never been for us to decide how they #closet or navigate that closet. we don't get to decide. so stay or don't #just remember that love isn't less in silence and #extremely public facing places are seen by everyone including children so yk #put yourself in the closeted person's shoes for a second and maybe just be gentle

[casualavocados]

for zero dollars i am going to talk about the boys’ individual singing talents now because im stuck on their performances at prom night ok here we go

to start, let me clarify by saying that i myself am a singer. i come from a family (multiple generations) of singers and musicians. my mom taught voice, violin, piano, and guitar in my home growing up. it’s just ingrained in my dna, ok, but this aint about me. just know that I know what im talking about as i get into this

im really only gonna touch on the four main singers (fourth, gem, ford, and satang) but all of them have their own unique qualities and im super impressed by their live performances. singing live is HARD. singing while dancing??? HARDER. and they held up for four hours, two nights in a row. i don’t. i cant - WOW ok

so of the main four, satang, ford, and fourth lean tenor, and gemini has a bass voice (more later). let me start with satang.

THIS BOY SINGS. RIGHT. IN. HIS CRACKING RANGE. HALF THE TIME. listen, okay, there is a difference between singing in full voice and switching to falsetto sometimes than singing in your cracking range. satang has to switch between full voice and falsetto almost every other note. that is HARD. it takes serious work and practice, and slip-ups are near impossible to avoid. he also has a soft voice, and in his case, when in this cracking range he does his best when he sings low and quiet, and is more likely to crack or slide the louder he gets (fourth is exactly the opposite of this and it makes me nuts in a good way. more later). satang also has very good vibrato, and the way he uses it helps him keep control of his voice and can even disguise the cracks and slides he does have. all this being said, you have to seriously appreciate the work he has done to sing so well at the concert. please watch his part in “healing” and go insane with me. when satang is in his full voice range he does his best singing loud, but this is what i wanted to focus on bc i am so proud of him because of how tough it is. 

ford also has a soft voice, but his control comes when he sings loudly. lower pitches are more difficult for him because he has to sing softer in order to hit them, and sometimes, when singing live, that means he can get too quiet to hear. but when he’s in his range and singing full voice? ohhhh my god he kills it. he rarely misses a note. just watch his performance of “come closer”, that’s all you need to know. his vibrato isn’t as good as satang’s but he has a good ear and that makes him so fucking good at harmonizing!! ford also has a very strong and clear tone when singing in falsetto (this line in “stand” showcases it perfectly) - whereas gemini’s falsetto is softer (but just as strong). 

GEMINI. first of all, this guy has so much control over his voice it actually pisses me off. i hate him (i LOVE him and im DELIGHTED by the way this live show was able to give his voice the spotlight it deserves). okay so earlier i said gemini has a bass voice, and that’s true - while talking. he has a stellar tenor singing voice, and his voice is very soft, but very clear and strong on those lower notes (thank you “you’re blushing”). and because he has that low range, his falsetto actually becomes better, bc it means when he sings high notes, he is far far away from his cracking range. it's barely noticeable when he switches between full voice and falsetto. his vibrato aint the best live when it’s unpracticed, but he rarely slides (unless it’s on purpose). he can blend with anyone, he’s very good at harmonizing, and damn he just has a sweet sweet falsetto (featured here and in. basically every song he sings. note that gem sings "hook" mostly in falsetto and fourth does it in his full voice, alongside each other; linked below)

FOURTH. let me start by saying i am the most impressed by his live performance. i am now obsessed with his voice in a lot more ways than i was before. so i mentioned earlier that he’s the opposite of satang, in the sense that he is more likely to crack, slide, or miss hitting a pitch when he’s singing quietly. but he’s also the opposite to all three of them, because where satang, ford, and gemini all have soft voices, fourth’s voice has a very clear tone right off the bat. this makes his approach to singing vastly different from the others. his falsetto is good, but when fourth sings loud? HE DOES NOT MISS A SINGLE NOTE. this boy can BELT it out in his full voice, and that includes both high and low notes. oh my god it is insane. LISTEN. TO. THESE. RIGHT. NOW. OK? please drink some water boy ilysm. 

the fact that fourth spent those four hours, two nights in a row, singing in mainly his full voice, and absolutely kill. ing. it. the whole time is THE most impressive thing to me. do you know how much energy it takes to sing in your full voice for a long time? can you imagine how much MORE energy it must take to do that WHILE DANCING? do you know how much control over his breaths he has to have for that??!?!?! AND TO STILL SOUND THAT STRONG AT THE END OF THE SECOND NIGHT. i dont care. he’s everything to me.

honestly they all are. this is getting long so im gonna wrap it up but i have never enjoyed a live performance more in my life. these boys are so talented it's insane and gmmtv is lucky to have them.

#my school president #msp prom night #my school president prom night live on stage #satang kittiphop #ford arun #gemini norawit #fourth nattawat #julian watches msp #long post #I COULDNT HELP MYSELF IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM NONSTOP. #OOH OOH shortpplfedup's tags about fourth EXACTLY #mid-range baritone IS the best way to describe it you are so right #listen tinn was right to make gun go jogging to work on his singing ITS THE CARDIO. #THE ENDURANCE IT TAKES FOR THE KIND OF SINGING FOURTH DOES. #*adds another link to fourth's list bc i cant be stopped* #OH MY GOD LISTEN TO THAT LAST ONE IT CHANGES KEYS MULTIPLE TIMES AND HE NEVER FUCKS UP #msp bts #me in the corner holding a camera up to the msp cast: youre doing amazing sweetie #another song that really suits fords falsetto is healing #and in that last link of gem's he actually sings both the high note harmonies and the low note harmonies #depending on what part of the song you're at

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐 #to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys' #and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

[3416]

are you normal or do you wake up every day and think about this

#about mitch. purposely sitting auston where he did and wiht the guys he did. and right there.. in the middle of it all #i feel they will never top this image (i say as i beg them to try flkdjskfl) like. #everyone else. talking to each other or laughing or smiling or filming and then theres auston...... #like im sorry but thats unhinged framing and everyone go attack lizzie for bringing this bakck into my brain rn i cant live like this #I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS #IM ALREAYD GOING NUTS OVER THEM TO COPE LIKE THIS IS SO. this is the pinnacle of everyhting u want in an angsty but endgame ship ?? #like i guess im gonna have to write my fucking self since eveyrone wants to populate the tag with ********* LIKE GOD #THERE IS MUCH TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT THIS. #long ass future fic abt the way they manage to come together without hockey being the string anymore... ive got ideas. i jsut need the #conviction and the words and to make a playlist-- but like flkdjs #this image is the centerpiece of eveyrhting that would make the most beuatiufl heart breaking rewarding pining fic of all time like #no one else on earth could possibly do it like this. no one else on the leafs certainly lmfaoooo #cant shoehorn ur favs into random pairings if these men are out here doing this..................... of their own volition. please. #well u can but. u have bad taste lol.. open your fucking EYESSSS #they are so. #anyway.

[scaryhaven]

trying so hard not to have full blown panic attack, im beyond devastated, i just keep saying in my head, oh god not again, it cant be true, but it is.

#lee sun kyun #ive been his fan since i was a teen and hes in my favorite k drama ever. the idea that he would be gone anytime soon never crossed my mind #i am so scared for jiyong but i am so grateful that he has survived so many trials because i know all too well tht this is often how it end #i hope ppl are keeping an eye on their loved ones right now. suicide is devastating but can sometimes be avoided #it didnt need to happen. i wish he knew tht. no matter what there was always going to be other options but netizens and media r relentless #he had so much more life to live and his family still needed him no matter what. god i feel sick

[garak]

i just remembered im allowed to draw whatever i want

#its gonna take a lot of wrangling and doing things i never do to get it to look right but im going to try. but not today #2000s moe style really not in my wheelhouse ive tried before but i suck at it lol. its the opposite of how i draw and color naturally #like a lot of airbrushing and glowing shit... it just does not come naturally to me as a flat color guy #living after midnight #rivalz.png

[roychewtoy]

impaled

#nathan being impaled on that tetanus inducing loose steel pipe. tho tetanus is the least of his worries on account of. well u know 🕳 #nathan can be a body horror fans best friend if u let him into ur heart. living human crash dummy #i really cant believe he gets impaled. twice. #hole moment! #love turning nathans immortality round in my head. but healing factor....? #thinkin today about how the video game guy tim threatens to cut one of them in half with a chainsaw and simon is like: #[😐nathan u obviously have to volunteer] #but what woulda actually happened if that followed through [probably why it didnt lol] #would the others have had to drag each severed bit of him back to the community centre and let his guts re fuse #fucking hold him together with gaffer tape and plasters. cause i doubt he coulda regrown a whole half #his 'healing factor' only comes into play when he dies. fresh canvas etch a sketch reboot and all that. hes not fuckin wolverine #all the deaths r: impaled on fence. impaled on pipe. beaten to death. blows his own brains out. falls and snaps his neck #but chainsaw... ? one can ponder. fingers to head i can imagine anything image #readin his wiki rn 'his body will never get sick. rot. age. or truly grow old' #may not get sick but he can still shit his guts out. hashtag oblivious lactose intolerant king hashtag milk drinker #forever the worlds most annoying twenty yr old #and then the wiki goes 'the user does not need to eat drink or breathe' ....hello #ive rotated him not aging any further cause it lines up with the whole stuck in his ways. never changing [kelly voice: its just who u are] #but eatin and drinking and breathing??? we know he still experiences hunger [<-kebab] #and he dunks his head in a bucket of water when hes testin for powers with simon. gaspin for air afterwards right #firm believer in the. he suffocated to death several times in the coffin before they dug him up #oh waaait. is it stating this like. he doesnt need foodwaterair. cause it doesnt matter if he dies.. ohhhhhh..... Oh..😃 #staring at nathan sleeping in the community centre surviving on bags of crisps from the vendies so hard i burn holes through my monitor #this got away from me. uh. living crash dummy. oil pastel guts and water colour jumpsuit yessir #having fun doin art. expect more hole art. sorryfor putting this in the misfits tag hehe. not really #gore #blood #misfits #my art #chewtoy