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#it's so fucking bad for me lmfao
chrisbangs · 8 months
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#every now and then i think abt deleting every single social media and dying . like#i really genuinely think abt just dying fr like#👎👎👎#there's only 1 person i've been wanting to talk to lately#and like no one else lol#i just feel so fucking out of my head#why is everything so fucking bad#i barely leave the basement these days .. i just stay in bed and sleep#and i have less than a week to get the fuck over this random stupid rut i'm in#because fucking classes start on tuesday#i wanna kms so bad lol#like i would rather be dead than do another year of college rn#it's so fucking bad for me lmfao#i don't have any support or anyone to talk to and i feel like i'm going fucking crazy#i'm on academic probation is the best part so if i fuck up this semester i get kicked out which like part of me would love ik like#the part of me that's tired and exhausted and just done with everything i wouldn't mind being kicked out but#the ik . that my parents would fucking kill me knowing that i wasted 4 years worth of tuition money and just fucking flopped as a student#waking up wishing i hadn't woken up every fucking day... i feel sick inside...#my anxiety is spiking all over again and i can barely even organize my thoughts lately#i literally threw up last night cause i worked myself up into such hysterics . like lmfao...#i cant get a grip and i cant get the fuck over how bad i feel and no one fucking LISTENS when i saw i hate this and i'm not good enough for#this fucking subject i wanna fucking kill myself holy fuck it's crazy how much i wanna die..#i used to wonder abt that 4th year kid who killed himself when i was at my old uni like how fucking bad was it for him that in his last year#he just couldn't take it anymore and now i'm in the funniest position of literally understanding exactly where he was lol#last year... and i cant do it... i just cant fucking do it and i wanna kill myself i think about it every day i think about it 24/7 and#i'm just so... tired doesn't even encompass what i'm feeling right now i'm fucking exhausted and empty and i have nothing left man i cant#fucking do this... every day im dragging myself kicking and screaming to school and dealing with a 4 hr round trip commute in the shitty ass#weather that we get and getting verbally and emotionally abused by profs and getting 0 acknowledgment for ANYTHING and it's not like my work#is even GOOD enough to begin with so ofc it's not gonna get any acknowledgment like jdjdjdkdkskd i just dont . have it in me to do this#for another fucking year... i literally cannot do this... and i have no other thoughts in my head other than killing myself lmfao...
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chrliekclly · 9 months
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i just remembered i had this post in my drafts for when the season ended! have some bts :)
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babysitterpng · 2 years
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stevetober day 2: moment (+ the warmup sketch)
the moment i fell in love with steve harrington after thinking he was a jerk the whole s1
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generalsmemories · 26 days
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every time i see someone shit on the xianzhou story quest on twitter i die a little bit inside.
#narus' corner#SO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE HATED XIANZHOU BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS AND ANCESTORS HAD PULLED UP THEORY AFTER THEORY#AND WHEN SAID THEORY DID NOT FCKING GO ALONG WITH WHAT THE ACTUAL WRITERS HAD IN STORE HELL BROKE LOOSE#ion think u understand#maybe im biased. i probably am but the way hoyoverse tackled immortality with xianzhou is quite bittersweet honestly#YA'LL WANTED UR DOOMED YAOI AND YURI AND TBH ME TOO BUT THEY ARE STILL FCKING DOOMED EVEN IF SOME THEORIES DID NOT GO AS MOST SHIPPERS WANT#THEY STILL DOOMED MILADYS AND GENTS AND NONBINARY PEEPS DAN HENG IS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AS WE SPEAK.#u look at xianzhou and see predecessors suffering the consequences of what their ancestors wanted because of immortality and vow to stop it#because they been fighting people against GALAXIES who wants a taste of that immortality who also don't KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT WHICH I#LITERALLY GETTING MARA-STRUCK WHENEVER UR MEMORIES OVERLOAD FROM LIVING TOO LONG AND GO: damn this was shit writing cause i didn't understa#IMMA AAAH#eternal wars where when u find peace after winning you DON'T BECAUSE YOU TURN MARA-STRUCK FROM THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA U HAVE#when immorality isn't immortality in a sense u can't be killed but long lifespan but then u can't even live said long lifespan#because u get mara-struck from participating in wars to protect AND YA'LL COME OVER HERE AND SAY BAD WRITING?!#and don't come with what the fuck is phantylia doing#ion think u understand how fucked we would've been if phantylia managed to actually absorb that ambrosial arbor AS A GODDAMN EMANATOR#OF DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS?! YA'LL WANT INFINITE HEALING WHILE GETTING BLASED OR SMTH!?!#and the aftermath which was probs the most hated on#imma just.#imma shut up LMFAO
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craycraybluejay · 3 months
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yeah yeah you hate me I'm an evil disgusting perverted manwhore we have each other blocked everywhere blah blah but I know you still jerk off to me and I know it makes you hate yourself a bit because you don't have the strength to accept the darker parts of your desire. but you can't help yourself and I take pleasure in the knowledge.
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hillerska-official · 3 months
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Something that always really resonated with me in The Perks of Being A Wallflower was the line right near the end when Charlie says "there are people who forget what it's like to be 16 once you turn 17" and maybe it's just because I was 16 the first time I watched the movie and I felt like nobody ever listened to me because I was young, but I promised myself I would not forget what it was like to be 16, or any age that I had been, and that I would extend the respect and understanding that I so craved to others. And I forget to do that sometimes, but whenever I play the perks soundtrack on vinyl (cause I'm a 2014 hipster in my spare time) that speech plays into the last track and I hear it and remember that I need to do that. So anyways if you're 16 and you feel like nobody ever listens to you or remembers what being 16 felt like I'm sorry. I promise I do. Relish in the good parts while you have them and know the bad will be over soon 💚
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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sorry I’ve been on such a Dabi high lately but I almost croaked earlier at the thought of being his college gf and just being so opposite of each other!!!!!! you’re all good grades and perfect attendance, easily approachable and sweet smiles. and he’s all grumpy faced and dark clothing, makes people nervous whenever he stands outside smoking right by the doors.
who the hell would’ve thought you two would end up together? it just didn’t make a lick of sense seeing you two from the outside. but when they get a glimpse of you guys together, alone, everything just falls into place.
he’s so supportive of everything you do, no matter how dumb or nerdy he thinks it is. he keeps count of your stitches for you when you crotchet, doesn’t mind being your model for a cropped hot pink sweater you’re creating, wears the knitted beanie around campus that you made for him. he hates not having your attention but he takes some of the same classes you take so that he can help you study, quiz you when you’re not too sure of the subject, maybe even help you cheat if you want (you don’t, but he always offers).
he buys you your favorite drink at the cafes and always carries an extra laptop charger in case you forget. he helps you pick out your outfits when you’re unsure, and loves the opposite aesthetic whenever you stand hand in hand with him. he praises you when you succeed, and comforts you with your failures. he looks like a dirtbag that hangs around campus to be a creepy bum, but he’s there for you through and through <3
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karamazovanon · 8 months
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i KNOW the rituals are intricate (or: "in front of my salad??")
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Me: //brushing up on my old Paperhat fanfics to make sure I'm getting details right for the new one//
Me @ my past readers:
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night-dark-woods · 24 days
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*stumbles out of the wip covered in blood* single paragraph of dialogue written :thumbsup:
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heya, i have to wake up in three hours but! here's another lil human au snippet! ft. lightly implied Laughingstock! disclaimer i am so so tired so don't come at me for typos or strangely worded sentences or missing info <3
~
Before heading home, Eddie swings by a charming little store he’s been to once or twice before. He usually goes to the chain store by his house, but he doesn’t feel like dealing with the hustle and bustle and the endless aisles. This little store is quiet, nice, and strangely has everything anyone could need. 
The lot is mostly empty at this hour, so Eddie claims a spot right at the front. As with the other times, the windows are littered with displays and stickers - half off on this, sale on that. Eddie enters Howdy’s Place with the chime of the door’s shopkeeper’s bell. He’ll get what he needs and get out, quick and easy and peacefu-
Boisterous laughter slams into Eddie like a hammer, so sudden that he jumps in place. An employee stocking cans nearby glances weirdly at him. Eddie clears his throat and hurries into the nearest aisle as the laughter tapers off. The silence barely lasts a second before loud chatter starts up. It’s too fast and muffled for Eddie to understand, but he can pick out two distinct voices - one deep, one less so but still decidedly masculine. 
Eddie tries to tune it out as he gathers what he needs. Toothpaste, some paper towels, shampoo. For the hell of it, he nabs a box of classic bran muffins from the spacious food section. He lingers for a moment, enjoying how far-away the conversation seems at the other corner of the store. Unfortunately, theft is illegal, so Eddie is forced to move towards the noise.
A strange thing about the store - it’s a combination general store, antique shop, and diner, complete with a miniature gift shop separating the two. One long checkout counter stretches from the open store area, behind the gift shop, and into the diner, where the conversation is coming from. An interesting setup, but an understandable one. It allows anyone behind the counter to move fluidly between customers and sections.
As Eddie approaches, the conversation becomes slightly clearer. 
“-said, no wonder you didn’t get her number!” the deeper voice barks, and the two dissolve into that almost-too-loud laughter again. 
As it tapers off, the other voice says, “Sounds like a real charmer! But really, you oughta be careful, Barn. One of these days someone’s gonna throw a right hook at ya.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. A transatlantic accent? He hasn’t heard that anywhere outside of real old movies and a queen he once knew. It sounds natural too, like the man was born to sound like he belongs on a 1920s radio show. It nudges something in the back of Eddie’s mind. He’s started to get really sick of that nudge.
“Oh, this guy did.”
“No kidding? I don’t see a shiner.”
“Well, yeah. I went left.”
Both of them laugh again, and Eddie feels a tiny tug at the corner of his mouth. That wasn’t funny enough to garner an actual laugh in his opinion, but it wasn’t unfunny. 
Eddie steps up to the counter and quietly puts his acquired items on it, not wanting to interrupt. He chances a glance to the side - walking space in front of the counter’s length lets him see right down into the diner.
A large man with dyed-blue hair and an interesting fashion sense is at the bar, talking to an employee leaning against the other side. The employee doesn’t really catch Eddie’s gaze, but the other man… Eddie swears he’s seen him before. He studies him from the corner of his eye, not wanting to be rude but unable to mind his business. 
“Our bouncer didn’t even get a chance at the action - the idiot knocked himself out tryin’ a second swing!” The customer says. His deep voice, wavering with humor, only adds to the sense of familiarity. Metal glints in his right ear. Eddie knows this man from somewhere.
The employee shakes his head, tutting. His busy hands polish a vintage pitcher. “I swear, you get all the crazies.”
“Makes for a good story, though.” The customer takes a sip from his tall milkshake and scoffs. “Though if it wasn’t all well-ending, amusing bull, I doubt I’d be so tolerant.”
Minutes drag by as the two keep talking. Eddie goes from patiently waiting to awkwardly trying to get the employees attention. If only there was someone else behind the counter, but the only other staff member is elsewhere, likely still stocking shelves. 
The two men are too absorbed in their little world, even though both are facing Eddie’s way. The customer has both elbows on the counter, one of them bent to prop up his chin. The employee has his hip leaned against the edge as they chat. They’re obviously very familiar with each other, and clearly deeply enjoy each other's company. 
Still - and Eddie is sorry to say, but it’s bad customer service. He’s not in a rush, but he’d still like to be on his way home. He could be fishing out the complex keys right now. He checks his phone - he’s been here for nearly fifteen minutes. Picking out the items took less than five. 
Eddie sighs, staring at the various cigarette packs displayed behind the counter. He’s never seen the appeal in smoking, but as the laughter starts up again, he almost wishes he did. He’s going to treat himself to a very long shower once he gets home. 
The store’s other employee walks behind the counter, carrying a box. Eddie lights up. Finally - she pointedly clears her throat and heads into the back. 
The constant conversation stalls for the barest moment, and he looks over. The customer grins at him for a second - lord he’s handsome - before turning that grin towards his friend.
“You’re losin’ your touch, Howds,” he teases, bringing his shake straw to his lips.
“I resent that statement. You’re just distracting.”
“Lil’ me? Distracting? C’mon, you can just tell me I’m pretty to my face. I’ll take it like a champ, I swear!”
“Ha, good try.” The employee sets the pitcher down and starts to mosey in Eddie’s direction. “Your ego is big enough for the both of us as is. One more compliment and your head’ll pop like a balloon.”
“Well, given that most balloons don’t really pop, they just kinda deflate slowly-”
“Sorry for the wait!” the employee says loudly in a glaringly obvious customer service tone. He stops in front of Eddie with a cardboard smile. At the other end of the counter, the familiar man snickers and hides his grin behind his drink. “I trust you found everything you did - and didn’t! - need.”
Eddie just stares up at him for a moment. At six-one, Eddie hasn’t felt small in a very long time. He usually stands at least a full inch above other people. This employee - Howdy, his name tag states - has several more on him.
“Uh, y-yes, I uh, I did,” Eddie stammers, glancing at his items. 
“Wonderful! And again, my sincerest apologies for the delay. My friend makes a game out of keeping me from my job.” Howdy shoots his ‘friend’ a glare with enough heat in it to make an ice cube sweat. 
“No worries.”
Howdy scans the items at an almost frightening speed. Beep, into a paper bag. Beep, in. Beep, beep - “Oh, no.”
“What?” Eddie says, dread plucking at his ribs as Howdy holds the bran muffins and shakes his head. “Is there somethin’ wrong?”
“Indeed there is! You’re making a mistake with these. They’re absolutely horrible, I tell ya - and bad for you, too!” Howdy tuts and puts the box to the side. “No, no, you don’t want those.”
“I… don’t?”
“Not if you knew better! Lucky for you, I’m here to set you straight. What you need is-” he snaps his fingers, “Barnaby, be a pal and-”
“Already on it,” ‘Barnaby’ says, appearing next to Eddie.
If Eddie weren’t already paralyzed, he’d jump right out of his skin from how Barnaby towers over him. He has to be a scant inch or so shorter than Howdy, but he still makes Eddie feel tiny. Unfortunately, Barnaby is even more handsome up close. 
“Here ya go.” Barnaby hands a plastic container to Howdy and taps it, smiling lazily down at Eddie. “I’d take his advice on this one. Those bran-named muffins may sound fancy, but they’re pretty crumby! You want muffins of quality. Real breadwinners!
Eddie can’t help a soft laugh. “Breadwinners, heh, that’s a good one.”
“Are you selling these or am I?” Howdy says, raising a bushy eyebrow. 
“Hey, I’m just doin’ what you asked! I’m bein’ a pal.”
“And I - I’m sorry," Eddie interjects, "but you’re awfully familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”
“Eh, I’ve been around, but uh… you ever been to [INSERT GAY BAR NAME HERE]?”
Howdy clears his throat. “I’m trying to make a sale here, Barn. You can flirt on your own dime when you’re not costing me mine.”
“Didja know your nose gets redder when you’re jealous?”
Howdy rolls his eyes and shoves Barnaby in the diner’s direction. Barnaby goes with a hearty snicker. Despite the joke, Eddie thinks it has some merit as Howdy scans the final item and rings him up, considerably frostier than before.
Belatedly, Eddie realizes that he didn’t actually agree to the different muffins. Too late now. “Say, what kind of muffins are those?”
“Poppyseed-lemon.”
Eddie relaxes - that is a lot better than boring bran. “Y’know, my mother loved poppyseed-lemon muffins.”
“Did she now,” Howdy drawls.
“Like you wouldn’t believe! If baking was so much as mentioned, she’d jump right on houndin’ us to whip some up for her, or send us to go buy some. We’d never even get a taste! They’d be gone the moment they hit the air, I tell ya.” Eddie chuckles. “Took me a while to understand what all the fuss is about, but man was she right. They are good!”
“Uh-huh. Well, we have a fresh batch delivered every morning. They’re not the same type every time, mind you, but I can promise that they’re all of the highest quality.”
“Breadwinners, right?” Eddie jokes. Howdy doesn’t blink, but Barnaby snorts. He’ll take it. “I might have to come by more often, if that’s the case! Thank you kindly, sir.”
“Mhm, have a good day.” Howdy hands him the bag and strides away without a glance. The dismissal is clear as day. “Say, Barn, did you hear about the racket one of those cult crackpots stirred up at our dear friend’s tearoom?”
Eddie doesn’t catch the tail-end of the sentence as he hurries away, but he frowns. Cult? What cult? There’s a cult? He certainly didn’t hear of one before moving here, and none of his background checks had turned up anything of the sort. He hopes it was just a figure of speech. 
The door chimes again as Eddie leaves. It isn’t until he’s in his car that the embarrassment of that whole exchange catches up with him. If he had a nickel for every time he’d made a fool of himself in front of a gorgeous, strangely familiar man, he’d have three nickels. At the rate he’s going, he’ll either be rich, or he’ll have to move. 
Eddie subtly tries to peek around the store’s window displays from the safety of his car. He catches a scant glimpse of blue hair - come to think of it, it’s a similar shade to Wally’s. But where Wally’s had, to Eddie’s memory, been uniformly dyed right down to his eyebrows, Barnaby’s rich brown roots were obvious. His beard and eyebrows weren’t dyed, either. 
As Eddie relaxes back into his seat, he re-reads at the store’s name. The color drains from his face and he barely restrains himself from slamming his forehead against the steering wheel.
Oh, of course. Of course he made a fool of himself in front of the owner. Eddie can never come back here again. And it was such a nice store…
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pop-punklouis · 5 months
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lavaalishaa · 2 months
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🤭💦😮‍💨🌶️
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beansterpie · 9 days
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rewatching LoK, i'm being reminded how much I dislike the.... the brothers, mako and bolin, yanno? they're such underwhelming characters on basically every level. it'd almost be impressive if they weren't in every episode and didn't annoy me so much ugh
#bean talking into the void#also this show in general is very flawed lol#cool things about it but the choice to structure it more like a#prestige tv show#as in each season follows One Story#is... i wouldn't say it was a bad choice but i feel like you can see the growing pains#switching over from the episodic structure of ATLA#s1 while flawed is solid#it knows what it's trying to do even if it doesn't always stick the landing#season two feels like a season-long filler episode LMFAO#which is hilarious because a lot of world-building stuff happens#but tonally it's all over the place#serious political plots interspersed with the B Plot following Tenzin and his family#on vacation???#so fucking random#but anyway back to roasting the brothers#i find bolin just annoying in general his brand of comedy totally doesn't work for me#but at least he has like#a personality that's consistent#mako is sooooooo blah#the writers have no idea what to do with him and he comes across as having a strikingly boring personality#with no defining traits other than being wishy washy (and a boot licker)#it FEELS like he was meant to remind viewers of Zuko#at least in appearance if nothing else#another broody pretty boy to latch onto#but he has literally nothing interesting to actually get invested in#sure he's got his tragic backstory and he's the 'older brother who took care of his younger brother after their parents died' boo hoo#but that's all just exposition and it's barely shown in a way that feels illustrative or emotional in any way that matters#(other than him comforting bolin in s1 after he KISSES THE GIRL HE KNEW BOLIN HAD A CRUSH ON lmfaoooooo)#(what a good big brother lmfao)
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seraphicalsuccubus · 21 days
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oh no I smoked too much weed and gave myself zoomies both from the excitement from my new peak pro and the excitement from the new weed itself and def smoked way more than I should have and probs will continue to smoke more than I should because of this double dose of excitement until I finally just pass out after days of hardly sleeping recently lmao
but ANYWAYS before that happens !!! I currently have the strongest urge to go wreck people in fucking battlegrounds to level one of my assorted disc priests and because like …. ever since I got 100k honorable kills achieve, I’ve wanted that goddamn fucking ‘the Bloodthirsty’ title from the 250k honorable kills achieve and I was farming that before I stopped having the drive to game a few months back.
so let’s see how queues go at 2am on a fucking Wednesday morning, I wonder if I’ll give up before I find a bracket with fast pvp queues tonight tbh. it’s more likely I’ll end up pugging a raid on my mistweaver main if it takes too long to get into a battleground just to preoccupy myself for a bit and try to get a chance at trinkets and shit lmao
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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Quirkless college AU where Keigo is your annoying teachers assistant for one of your majors classes. He never seems to give you that A you deserve, and is hellbent on going back and forth with you about every little thing. About every little grade, every little answer you submit, every little note he likes to leave on the corners of your papers. He mocks your handwriting with his own chicken scratch, even writes a ‘wtf are you trying to say???? is that supposed to say RHETORIC?????’ on one of your papers.
You wanna complain about him to your professor when it comes to his attitude and nitpicking, but the prof always just tells you to take it up with the TA yourself. And that’s exactly what the golden haired man wants, and it’s so painstakingly obvious with the way he absolutely grins when you drag your feet into his ‘office hours’ (aka him sitting in the library for the same amount of time every week).
“I was wondering when you’d ask me to round your grade up.” Keigo doesn’t even greet you, just leans back in his chair as he folds his arms over his chest. His smile grows even wider when you narrow your eyes and huff at him, snatching the chair out from across him to plop down heavily.
“Give me the grade I deserve, and not the grade that drags me here to be with you.” You’re all snaps and irritation, and Keigo loves it—eats up the way your bottom lip juts and your brows furrow down and, oh, you’re so goddamn cute when you’re annoyed.
“Go on a date with me this weekend, and I’ll change it.” Keigo blurts out with a lilt of his lips, eyes squinting when you reel back with a scoff. You stare at him for a while before answering, and he can’t help but notice how shifty your hands have gotten and how it grows harder to look him in the eye now.
“I feel like that goes against policy.” You mutter, picking at your nails before glaring through your lashes. Keigo cocks his head to the side, smiling.
“Don’t tell me you’re a goody two shoes.” He teases, tilts his head in your direction, watches the gears turning in your head as you narrow your eyes at him.
“Fine. One date, and you give me extra credit on the last paper.” You bargain with him, glaring at his hand when he holds it out for you to shake. You pause before you take it, frowning when Keigo grins wider and leans across the table.
“Looks like you’ve got yourself a deal there, birdie.”
And after that, it becomes routine for you both. Keigo enters the most foul grade he can until you show up at his dorm room furious and seething, all so he can pull you in to his space and kiss your puffy cheeks while you enter your own grade in the system. He’s a bit of a jackass, but you think it’s all worth it, especially when he shows you the expansive winged tattoo on his back and the quickest and most efficient way to do eyeliner. He’s good for something, you guess.
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