#jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce: I would love to adopt you, Billy.

Billy: Uh-huh. No can do, grandpa.

Bruce: *cue internal panic*

Later

Bruce: I can’t believe you adopted Billy and didn’t tell me!

Jason, who has literally no idea what Bruce is talking about: Wha-

Bruce: I had to find out by him calling me grandpa!

Jason, pretty sure Billy was just calling Bruce old: Oh, well, uh…

Bruce: I have a grandchild now! I had to dig out all my worlds best grandpa shirts from the attic!

Jason: Why do you have grandpa shirts in the attic?

Bruce: Eh, Dick’s early twenties were an adventure. Anyway-

Jason, seeing the opportunity to cause chaos: Well, it’s pretty new…

Later

Jason: Okay, so sign here please.

Billy: *eyes adoption papers skeptically*

John: Do it.

Billy: Huh?

John: It’ll be bloody hilarious.

Billy: Yeah, okay.

#billy batson my baby #bruce wayne #jason todd #john constantine #red hood #batkids #batfam #batman #captain marvel #shazam #bruce wayne and his serial adoption tendencies #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

This just popped into my head but Jason wanting to adopt Billy, only for Billy to be like "Actually John adopted me a few months ago to get the feds off my back."

And Jason just goes "clearly, I need to marry Constantine."

Is is feasible? No. But I'm just imagining this early-twenties Jason trying (and failing) to seduce this scruffy englishman so he can have coparenting rights.

Bonus points for Bruce wanting to love and support his son but also desperately trying to convince him to date someone his own age.

This is everything thank you

#jason todd #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of #billy batson my baby #john constantine #bruce wayne #billy batson’s continued suffering

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Billy and Jason both decide to not tell Batman about the adoption

UNTIL

It's Batman's birthday. Captain Marvel walks into the Justice League meeting room carrying a box wrapped in bat-themed wrapping paper. He sets the present in front of Batman.

"Go ahead, open it!" Captain Marvel smiles, but there's Billy Batson mischief in his eyes.

Batman opens the gift. It's a coffee mug.

WORLD'S GRANDPA

Someone on the justice league has Questions™️

Also Batman is smiling really big and it’s weird

#batman #bruce wayne #billy batson my baby #jason todd #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I'm enjoying this very much bc I have an hc that Jason does his best to avoid the magical community actually. Like. He has the all-blades. Which means he is ABLE to deal with magical stuff. But he really doesn't want to, he's busy enough without magical apocalypses!! And he knows that if he helps the magicians out once he'll never be able to get out of it and he'll never have time to do anything so he just.... Avoids the sorcerers because nope. Not my problem. Absolutely no evil-destroying abilities in there. Go away. So him trying to co-parent with Constantine would be FUNNY and I'm delighted

This is perfect

Imagine Billy working on something magic and Jason casually offers an alternative or slight correction but then when John asks about it he will not explain anything or even acknowledge it at all

#jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of #jason todd #billy batson my baby #john constantine

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Alternatively; Constantine threatens to parent Jason because he will not date him no matter how hard Jason tries, and when Jason doesn’t take his threat seriously John just starts to make the moves on Bruce. Like, super aggressively. Half because he’s showing Jason he’s being serious and absolutely will become his stepdad and half because I don’t believe there’s a single person in the DC universe outside of his family that doesn’t want to fuck Bruce/Batman.

And then there’s Billy who is just suffering

#billy batson my baby #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of #jason todd #bruce wayne #batman #john constantine #billy batson’s continued suffering

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Hello I have a question. Are the All-Blades sentient? are they like... do they have opinions? I keep seeing the Jason hitting on Constantine and I'm just here thinking about the All-Blades looking at Constantine and just going 'Jason, honey you can do so much better.' And Constantine is just... ??? Constantine, voice cracking violently: What the FUCK, Jason. Jason: I know I can do better, but I'm trying to adopt Billy. All-Blades: *unimpressed swords* Jason: Ah, the neutral face of displeasure.

Well they are now

#jason todd #all caste #all blades #red hood #john constantine #billy batson my baby #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of #billy batson’s continued suffering

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Allblades: “why have we been unsheathed?”

Jason: “Constantine is trying to tuck my dad”

Allblades: “Carry on”

They take it as a reasonable cause

#jason todd #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of #bruce wayne #john constantine #red hood #all blades #all caste

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Okay but the All-Blades just randomly manifesting whenever John makes a move on Bruce to discourage him from stepping closer. Constantine is very familiar with the neutral face of displeasure. How the fuck a pair of swords can manage a neutral face of displeasure has completely bewildered him. Swords do not even have a face.

Meanwhile, Billy is watching this with pure horror.

And then Jason over there talking to the swords like he would a baby. “You did such a good job, didn’t you. Yes you did. You did so well, just look at you.”

Billy promptly flees and spends a week at the Kent’s farm because it seems to work for everyone else and there’s no swords making faces or people making faces back in Kansas.

#billy batson’s continued suffering #billy batson my baby #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of #jason todd #john constantine #all blades

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

concept: captain marvel is the childish side of billy and billy is the adult side of billy

i am so over child heros being "uwu wholesome" give me a child hero who will bite his adult co workers. the only reason batman hasnt adopted billy is bc hes too chaotic, and hes the man who adopted JASON TODD. why do u think that him an john work so well together they are both street rats who wont hesitate to beat ur ass

dc hire me 2022 /j

And this is where I’m going to add Jason into this as well because I fixated on the headcanon of Jason and John coparenting Billy and I’m not letting it go. And also Billy should get to be absolutely feral if he wants

#jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of #billy batson my baby #jason todd #john constantine

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

zatanna was the one who made john put billy in school and bc johns a con man, he got by fine but there were so many dumb moments. example him not knowing what gmail is and the teacher being absolutely dumbfounded

+ zatanna being a emergency contact so she can sign stuff bc u cant trust john with any documents. zatanna just randomly gets documents teleported in her office and is like "huh billy must have a field trip "

also i think john would be a helicopter parent but instead of tracking their childs phone at all times he just gave a billy a surveillance necklace. billy wears it bc it gives john a sense of security and bc it looks cool anyway. the house of mystery is like "tracking billy again are we?" and john immediately de casts the spell and is like "shut the fuck up"

also its the same school freddy attends bc yes. love them. and hes like "wow ur attending school again that so cool! wait but how did u get into the same grade as me u missed a few years" and billy sweating bc mmmm how do i explain that a British magician and occasionally his friend(?) who is also a magician taught me for a few years while teaching me dark magic bc he only talked about the shazam stuff in front of him. because honestly how do you explain that

+john is the type of parent to be like "have fun on ur date" when ur hanging out with ur friends to annoy u

Very much yes.

Also thinking about Freddy asking Billy all that combined with the wisdom of Solomon carrying over into Billy���s mortal form. Like Someone asks a question and Billy, without thinking, spouts off an answer and everyone is just looking at him. He’s trying to figure out a reasonable explanation (and failing) and Freddy is over there just giving him a thumbs up.

#billy batson my baby #billy batson’s continued suffering #john constantine #zatanna #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bonus points if after Constantine finally convinces Jason to stop trying to seduce him (he threatens to start parenting Jason as well, since that would be more appropriate for the age gap between them) they end up co-parenting Billy anyway. However, just to mess with people, they don't clarify how things worked out so they'll just casually discuss which one of them is going to PTA this week in front of the whole justice league and Bruce is DYING. Literally everyone is so concerned about Jason's apparent success and the two of them are off in a corner giggling like children. Extra bonus points if this is pre-reveal for Billy so Captain Marvel is there watching the whole thing go down not sure if he's horrified or amused.

Okay yes. There is no way they would not take the opportunity presented to them to cause chaos like this

#jason todd #red hood #john constantine #billy batson my baby #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of #billy batson’s continued suffering

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Billy: So what, I just show up and say “I don’t have any parents” and Batman will adopt me?

Barry: Well, I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s how he got all his other kids.

Billy: But Batman already knows that.

Hal: How have you not been adopted yet??

Billy: I mean, I did tell him I didn’t need to be adopted, so…

Hal: *snorts* Yeah, like that’s ever stopped him.

Billy: Well so far so good, right? So I should be fine?

Barry: Your name is literally Batson; I have no idea how Batman hasn’t brought papers for you to sign yet.

Meanwhile in Gotham:

Bruce: Constantine.

John: Bats.

Bruce: Why are you here.

John: Oh, just heard you were thinking about adopting again, thought I’d get you a little gift.

Bruce:

John: It’s a book.

Bruce:

John: It’s titled “Cross-Country Co-Parenting: a Guide.”

Bruce:

John: It’s for you.

Bruce:

John: Jason, Diana, and I all have them too.

Bruce:

John:

Bruce: You’ve made your point.

#billy batson my baby #billy batson #bruce wayne and his serial adoption tendencies #barry allen #hal jordan #john constantine #bruce wayne #jason todd #diana prince #Jason and Constantine coparenting Billy is a very specific HC I’m not letting go of #and Diana is awesome so I included her too

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I would love to see a fic with someone asking Captain Marvel to help out with something, expecting him to come, you know, by himself, but then he shows up with both John Constantine and the Red Hood. The only explanation he gives is that it’s a school night.

Essentially I want both of those train wrecks of human beings (affectionate) to adopt this small, competent child and for everyone else to have so many Questions.

#billy batson #my baby #jason todd #red hood #john constantine #captain marvel #shazam #dc #billy batson my baby #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

ALSO 15. Favorite headcanon of the year! (I will do these ask games all day, DON’T TEST ME)

Jason Todd and John Constantine coparenting Billy Batson

#jason todd #john constantine #billy batson my baby #billy batson #jason and constantine coparenting billy is a very specific hc i’m not letting go of