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platinummoonsea · 1 year

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Supernatural AU - A bigger Family

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairings: SamxJess(established)

Warning: none? Bad writing XD

Description: What if Dean left before Sam, met Adam and Jess found out about Sam being a hunter.

Authors note: Got the idea while rewatching season 1! Just wanted more characters to play with

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The reason for the Winchesters to become hunters stays the same, Mary dies and it causes John to become obsessed with justice.

John Winchester is raising the two siblings through hunting, at 13 and 9 years old the siblings get attacked by a werwolf who wanted revenge on John. Both of them ended up in the hospital. Bobby, who was helping out, finds out and allows the siblings to stay with him from that moment on, while John is busy hunting.

This causes Dean to lash out, he wants to prove himself. He made one mistake by letting the werwolf get to close, it is his duty to finish the job. Bobby tries his best to explain that he is just a child and to let the adults handle it.

Dean doesn't listen, he ends up sneaking out and hunting the werwolf by himself.

His little brother is the first to notice, Sam tells Bobby immediately and he warns John.

They save Dean and John ends punching Dean. This causes the adults to have an argument about the treatment of the children. John takes Dean and Sam by force and continues raising them in motels. The disrespect Dean showed that day was never forgotten.

Dean fears his father and tries to make up for his wrong doing, but gives up at the end and focuses his time protecting Sam.

Two years later, Dean runs again this time not towards a monster but from one.

Dean ends up back at Bobby's place, surprising him, but being accepted with wide arms.

He made another mistake and it caused John to freak out, Dean didn't know what else to do but run to Bobby.

He didn't eat or sleep since driving there, Bobby allowed him to stay on the couch.

John knocks angrily on the door and Bobby opens it with his gun in hand. Promising him to shoot, if he doesn't leave his property. It causes another fight, Dean hears everything.

Bobby shoots a couple warning shoots and John leaves, warning that he would come back. Bobby focuses his time with Dean, trying to sort everything out while Dean pushes him away.

Bobby tells Dean about his own father and that he had to kill him.

Dean is shocked and doesn't know how to react, but Bobby tells him that he doesn't have to. They end up living together since then and growing closer.

The siblings still talk with each other, but it's getting less and less.

Bobby ends up finding out about Adam Milligan through a hunting friend who was told by John. Adam's mother died through a poltergeist and with no known family, he would end up in the system. Bobby forges some papers and Adam is allowed to stay with him.

His fear of being like his own father is being healed by his relationship with Dean. Dean(16 now) mistakenly calling him Dad didn't hurt either. Adam, 5 years old, has to adjust to having a new family and seeing his mother die in front of him. Surprisingly, the two new siblings bonded fast over fast-food and movies.

Time moves and Sam plans to go to Stanford, John feels betrayed and they end up having their fight. Sam goes through the door and doesn't look back. He ends up calling Dean for the first time after a while and finds out about Adam.

He feels replaced and let's his emotions get to him. Not even telling Dean about college.

Sam starts his journey in law school and meets Jessica through their friend Brady. They become a couple fast, him in law and her in medicine.

Sam tries to live his normal life until his nightmares start, he gets spooked by them until he can't ignore them and does his own research to calm himself. It only makes him more nervous and he ends up debating on asking for help, before he can decide Bobby calls him.

He decides to pick up, they want his help on a hunt that they can't ignore and Sam agrees to escape his own thoughts.

Jess who is worried about him and tried her best to calm him, decides to secretly tag along to ensure his safety.

Sam(22) meets Dean(26) and Adam(15) in a library, going over the information they have. Sam is a bit jealous over Adam, while Adam gives the two siblings the space they need. Only stepping in when necessary, Jess meanwhile is finding out for the first time that Sam has siblings.

They are hunting a group of Vampires, Jess gets caught by one of them and gets used as bait. Sam is freaking out and tries everything to get her back, his brothers help.

Together they end up beheading them and saving Jess. She ends up patching the boys up while explaining her reason on being there before it's Sam turn to explain. Sam comes clean about his life and introduces his siblings.

Sam and Jess go back to college, but Jess is unable to focus on becoming a doctor while more important things are happening under people noses. She ends up calling Dean and telling him her issues. They end up talking for hours and keep going over everything multiple times. Jess head tells her no, but her heart already made the decision on becoming a hunter herself.

Sam is angry, because the plan he had for them gets ruined. It gets revealed that Sam wanted to propose to Jess.

Jess admits that she wants to say yes, but that she can't ruin his live and she leaves to learn under Bobby the same way Adam is. Both of them got the chance to choose a normal life, but both want to fight.

Sam isn't able to keep his emotions in check, his worry and nightmares become worse. He finds out that he has telekinesis powers. Sam ignores it, deciding not to tell a soul and focuses his time on finding Jess.

At Bobby's house the five try to talk but get interrupted by a call from another hunter, who request help. Bobby, Sam and Dean go hunting while Adam starts to do research. It's his current main role in the group, while also now teaching Jess. She gets the hang out of it quickly and ends up finding the crucial information to kill the monster. Unfortunately, they aren't able to reach out to the others. Adam ends up leaving to go get them, while leaving Jess at Bobby's place. Handing her a weapon and telling her what to do for her safety.

Adam is allowed to hunt smaller jobs or as extra backup if something needs to be burned while Sam and Dean fight. He is eager to fight more, but is willing to wait because other people lives are at stake.

He ends up taking a day and a half to get to the city only to find Bobby in the hospital with no trace of Sam and Dean. The hunter friend was the one who brought Bobby to the hospital and is now also looking for the two. Adam and the hunter end up finding them tied up and before he frees them, the hunter attacks him from behind. The shapeshifter took the appearance of the friend and has now all the siblings tied up.

He takes the appearance of Adam and goes back to the hospital to deal with Bobby. While there the siblings manage to escape and they try to get there on time to warn Bobby. Bobby was able to knock out the shapeshifter himself after arriving in the motel. The shapeshifter making a small mistake that made Bobby realize the truth. They deal with the corspe and do a funeral for the hunter.

Both parties drive back, Sam with Dean and Bobby with Adam. Sam calls Jess to inform her about how the hunt went.

Jessica keeps reading articles the next morning on her laptop, switching from one tab to the other and cross checking with Bobby's book. The lights begin to flicker and she feels watched and notices that some of Bobby's traps where pampered. Jess tries to act cool, her mind racing on what to do. Holding the knife tighter and being prepared for everything and nothing.

She sees a man standing in one of the rooms before the blond could do anything, in one blink of an eye the being disappeared.

The main door opens later that day and the boys enter tiredly. Jess tells them about what happend, Sam is concerned and angry about not being told immediately after it happened.

Redoing the traps and drawing more protection symbols on. All of them are on the edge, they realize that the monster just wanted to prove that it could do anything if it wanted to, it was toying with them. Sulfur. A demon. The hunt continues.

Dean Singer,

Sam Winchester,

Jessica Lee Moore,

and Adam Milligan

Fighting together and finding their family on the way.

#spn #supernatural #spn au #sam winchester #dean winchester #bobby singer #supernatural jess #adam milligan #jess doesn't die and actually becomes a character #Nick family died and he says yes out of desperation like in the show #viewers will realize that Jess has to die for Sam to say yes #but will she die or can the hunting training save her #jess and dean bully sam together #adam is the little brother that gets away with everything #he is just vibing #father bobby #john Winchester is a bad parent

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eatdirt420 · 7 months

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Love may be blind, but can it be forgotten?

"but now this room is spinning while I'm trying to fill in all the gaps" | safety net | swooning | "how many fingers am I holding up?"

Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

John, bastard he was, only gave Dean one rule.

"Protect Sam," John had said, thrusting a shotgun into his little palms. By then, Dean was at least 6— big enough to pull the trigger, old enough to know what it was capable of.

That was… that was the only rule Dean wasn't willing to break. Not today, not tomorrow—

"Dean," a deep voice sounded out somewhere off in the distance, "Dean. Slow your… breathing… try to concentrate…"

Live or die, Sammy would be saved. But now— now the room is spinning, and Dean's just trying to fill in all the gaps. He feels a palm, warm and calloused, against his forehead. A strong embrace, holding his head above the floor.

"Dean Winchester," the same voice, rough like gravel on Baby's tires, sounds off with in breaking determination, "don't ever pull that stunt again."

"Who" are you, he says with a slur. Well, maybe he doesn't say the full thing. He doesn't know. All he has is the safety net of a musty smelling canvas and the wonder of, "where 'm I?"

"You don't remember," the question is more of a command, Dean decides. Somewhere in there he hears a shake, but the thought feels like a violation; he knows too much and not enough.

Dean opens his eyes; it feels like death incarnate, but he manages. Twin blue eyes stare into his, a furrow in their brow. This may be a man, but gender hasn't stopped his heart before; his stomach swoons with a teenage crush, butterflies shifting like knives in a jostled wound.

Dean wants to look away, but he can't. No, this is a bloody accident on the side of the highway that piques his curiosity in rush hour traffic. There's bile in the back of his throat as the room spins again.

Dean closes his eyes— he closes them tight. Then, for extra measure, he shoves himself back into the dirty ass trench coat. He wishes it could cover his ears, too, as footsteps approach.

"Look at me," that's Sammy. God, he's tall! Shaped like a Muppet with that same rag-tag mop on his head, but he could recognize Sammy from anywhere, "how many fingers and I holding up?"

Sam holds up 3. Dean tells him so. He looks exasperated.

"Cas," Sam's eyes never leave Dean's face, "your… mojo?"

"Is fine," Cas, devastatingly handsome brunette, sounds annoyed, "it's probably one of the witch's things. Dean," what he wouldn't do to hear the rumble of his name day in and day out, "I need— I need you to remember what you touched before—"

Cas cuts himself off, his fingers reflexively curling in Dean's hair.

Dean, on the other hand, does not mind it in the slightest; he leans into it. He follows Cas' command. There is… well, there is nothing besides a black chasm where a thought would be, if he could have them. Then— then something interesting happens.

It feels like drinking water right after you brush your teeth— cold and downright unbearable. Goosebumps… goosebumps rise on Dean's arms… his… his eyes roll…

John, the father who never was, sat across from Dean. There was a cigarette in his mouth and a whiskey in his hand. The ticking of a clock clashed with the static of the motel TV. The room itself smelled of mildew and smoke: the smell of Dean's childhood.

"You wasted a bullet," John's tone is venomous. It makes Dean's skin crawl. He can't even correct the old man, not without tears pricking his eyes and a welt forming on his cheek, "you're a failure."

"I'm sorry, sir," the words come out like a habit.

It's never enough for John.

"Sorry," he asks. He doesn't look for an answer, "the only one who should be sorry here is me— I trusted you and you failed. Again. What if it was Sam out there? Would you have let him die, Dean? Because you can't hit a target?"

"I'm— I'm sorry, sir—"

Dean doesn't feel the slap; he knows it burns, knows it bruises, knows it aches. Instead, he feels a paranormal warmth spread across his skin. It makes him want to scream, but his tongue won't move. To go even further, he won't move. He's gonna die— he's gonna die—

Fingers card through Dean's hair when he wakes up. The motel room is different and the TV's off. Still, the clock's ticks clashed with Sammy's snores.

"Dean," a whisper. He can't see, but he knows who… knows—

"Cas," his throat is rough; unused; hell, useless.

God, bastard He is, only gave Castiel one command in regards to Dean Winchester. He will not break that command— not today, not tomorrow.

"Go back to sleep," a hand rests on Dean's forehead once more, warm and calloused, "I'll watch over you."

#whumptober2023 #no.1 #safety net #swooning #how many fingers am I holding up?#spn #fanfiction #Witch Curses #Amnesia #John Winchester is a Bad Parent #Flashbacks #dirttalks

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profoundbondfanfic · 4 months

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Mad at your Dad?

Mad at your Dad? By wannaliveindeansdimples Rating: Mature Word Count: 7k

Dean wasn’t sure why he was even scrolling through Craigslist. Especially not the casual encounters section. It was four days before Thanksgiving. Not like he was gonna try and hook up with someone before that shitstorm. After, sure, but not before. He kept scrolling, though, not clicking anything until a title caught his eye. Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad? I am a 28 year old male felon who has no degree, but has studied enough theologies of the world, behavioral psychology, and philosophy to set your whole family’s teeth on edge—no matter which way they lean, politically, religiously or in terms of neuroses. I drive a van the same age as me that’s got a mural on the side of an angel holding an orgy. I can play between the ages of 20-30 depending on whether I shave. I live off an inheritance, and sell weed on the side. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship (monogamous or polyamorous, whichever sounds most like it would freak out su familia) with you (and/or others), to torment your family, I’m game...

A shortie but definitely worth the time to sit back and relax with this fabulous piece of fiction. Cas is everything you want a mentally healthy endverse!Cas to be, irreverent, smart as shit, and sexy as all hell. The man literally has no shame and it's a joy to witness.

Dean has been pushed past his limit and can't handle his family's medling and his father's disapproval anymore. The ad he sees in the paper seems like the perfect prank.

The best part? Cas gets thru to his family in ways Dean never could and Dean can see through all of Cas' bullshit for the armor that it is. They're both broken, both lonely, and both adorable.

For a happy, funny, quick fix, give this one a read.

#destiel #fic rec #mature #au #<10k #modern setting #fluff #fake relationship #strangers to lovers #fuckup!castiel #holidays #fuckup!dean #homophobia #bad parent john winchester #author: wannaliveindeansdimples #Mad at your Dad?

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a7david · 9 months

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I don't know why but I still feel like people don't truly understand on what dean gave up for Sam.

Like, we all know he sold his soul, sacrifices himself for Sam EVERY SINGLE TIME he's in danger, gave up his "apple pie life" for him (in the script actually written he was about to agree to stay), and wanted Sam to live in exchange of... every sons of bitches who killed their mom to walk around the earth.

But dean didn't give up only the life he could've had; he gave Sam his everything. His everything, and I cannot clarify that enough, is his soul in the deepest meaning. His feelings, his hobbies, his thoughts and opinions, he gave Sam... everything.

It's really no wonder he was so devastated when John didn't lift a finger for days to help him - dean didn't have to give John what he had, he needed to protect Sammy. From anything in the dark and anyone who's after him, no matter the cost.

The reason I pointed the fact he was really overwhelmed from the dying and John and everything (in 2×01 i think?), isn't because it's completely obvious. I just wanna remind yall that dean doesn't think he deserves to be saved, especially not by John. The logical reason, atleast for me, that dean would freak out and break the glass and be so fucking mad at John - he couldn't bear the thought of his father alone with Sam. Without him to calm them down.

Which is why the scene in 14×12 is so important. Dean was willing to give up his own thoughts and opinions just so Sam wouldn't have to deal with their father all alone. He was willing to hurt Sam in a tough time because of a bigger threat. Cause Sam would get worse if dean didn't make the sacrifice.

I can literally make a list of things dean canonicaly gave up for Sam. And he does that every day, all day, since he was four years old.

#dean winchester #bad parent john winchester #fuck john winchester #sam and dean #Sam winchester #john winchester's a+ parenting #john winchester #2×01 #9×07 #bad boys #14×12

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drfrankensteinvsthequeerborgs · 1 year

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honestly for me one of the scariest things about Supernatural is the seeming inevitability of the cycle of violence, John knows this is an appalling way to raise a child but he does it anyway, Sam gets away for a few years only to return loving the job, Dean does to Jack the same things John did to him. and a sizable chunk of that is Chuck forcing them to become the worst versions of themselves but it’s terrifying how they can end up being the very thing they swore never to become

#dfvq liveblog #dfv queue #dfvq spn #spn5x13 #cycle of violence #fuck a chuck #this house is a fucking nightmare #forced to live bad writing #cursed by the narrative #john winchester’s a+ parenting #dean studies #cw child abuse #aristotle checking his nails smugly in the distance #imagine taking sam seriously as a character #you used me for character development

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castieldelamancha · 8 months

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Dean swings his feet where they stick out over the armrest of the couch, his head comfortably supported by a pillow on Castiel's lap, Cas' fingers slowly combing through his short hair, whatever insecurity he could have felt when the first gray hairs started to appear was blown to pieces by Castiel's clear love for them. His other hand is holding his phone as he busies himself watching short videos, showing Dean the ones he thinks he might enjoy as well from time to time.

Dean is is reading a brand new comic he got a couple days ago, a new addition to his growing collection, he is kinda sad he only has a few older ones from his youth, with their missing pages, folded corners and faded colors. He is sad he can't go back and tell that kid that used to read comics hidden away in some small town library and that used to stop by the comic stores' glass window, peering longingly at all the comics inside, the ones he couldn't afford to buy, that one day he would be able to get them, treasure them. There are many things he would tell that kid if he could.

"Why 'kapow'?" And Dean just can process the fact he just heard an honest to God angel making that sound with his mouth, "you know well punches don't sound like that."

Dean rolls his eyes, resting the open comic on his chest, looking up at Cas, "dunno know, it's just for effect." He shrugs slightly.

Castiel gives him a look, "I guess, It's only that it sounds a bit silly."

"What? You are gonna tell me this is too absurd and childish for a grown man to be reading it?" And woah, he thinks, that sounded exaggeratedly defensive even to his own ears. It's a familiar speech, echoing in his head with the voice of his father. He could live with Sam fondly calling him a big nerd, he couldn't live with the mocking sneer on John's face whenever he mentioned Dean's hobby. Or when he threw away a comic Bobby had bought him after finding it, and Dean had done his best to hide it, keeping it under the mattress of every motel bed he slept on. Because Dean had to focus on what was important, learn to hunt, take care of Sam. No time for stupid distractions.

Castiel tilts his head to the side, studying his face in what used to feel unnerving to Dean, but that now doesn't anymore, used to it as he is, he shakes his head after a beat, "I don't believe one can be too old to do something they enjoy, because in that case I would be too old for everything." This is Cas, Dean reminds himself, he would never treat Dean that way.

"Yeah grandpa, that's true." Castiel glares at him.

"They have nothing on you, though," Castiel points at the cape-wearing heroes on the front page, " you have also saved the world, and so many lives, bravely dealing with the villains over and over again." The tips of Dean's ears turn the same shade of red hea cheeks do.

"You telling me in a parallel universe Batman reads comic books about our adventures?" Because joking is easier than accepting the way Castiel is looking at him, like he admires him, or than accepting his words.

Castiel hums, "Yes, I am pretty certain he does."

"You are such a dork." His voice is nothing but soft, just like the way he is staring up at Cas, "I'm Batman's favourite character, of course."

Castiel laughs lightly, nodding along. He bends down to press a kiss to his forehead, "you can always be you here, Dean."

"I know."

#destiel #ficlet #i uhm yeah i guess makes sense to me #vanessa writes ✨#bad parent john winchester #always #because he was a pretty bad dad #and all that

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fandom-hoarder · 1 year

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John didn't leave Dean in the boys home because he stole bread and peanut butter. He left him there cuz Dean lost their food money in a card game. He didn't leave Sam alone, he came back and took him to Bobby's. (If Dean was 16, Sam was 12-- babysitter age in that era-- untwist your panties.) John was negligent enough without y'all INVENTING shit to be mad about. Smh

#but john never would've done that. the writers were idiots.#yeah he'd be mad but he wouldn't leave dean in a place like that with strangers that could open the family up to cps suspicion ffs #spn writers critical #canon crit #fandom wank adjacent #john winchester's a+ parenting #spn: bad boys

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shinelikethunder · 1 year

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when you're trying your best under terrible necessity, but your best kind of sucks

john winchester: sorry kids, but when your entire family may or may not be on a demonic hit list and you've got a revenge quest to get cracking on, the price of survival is constant combat-readiness and being forever alone. everyone sam & dean run into for the next season and a half: holy shit are you johnny winchester's boys? john winchester: it's a lonely life, knowing monsters exist. there's no one i can leave you with. there's no one you can turn to. there ARE no trusted adults within five hundred miles of here. like half a dozen other hunters: it's THE sam and dean! thought i'd never get to meet you two in the flesh, what with your daddy being a bridge-burning asshole who doesn't play nice with others... john winchester: if i'm harsh about expecting my orders to be followed, it's because i'm scared out of my mind for your safety. this isn't the life i wanted for you, but it's necessity: you gotta grow up fast and learn to kill or be killed. a goddamn greek chorus by this point: no offense to your old man but if anyone tried to invite my KID along on the reckless bullshit you boys get into, i'd whoop their ass. dean, a well-adjusted young adult whose daddy raised him right: wow, aren't you worried your teenager is gonna get killed because you chickened out of teaching them normal life skills, like going out and shaking their ass as werewolf bait?

#supernatural #john winchester #A+ parenting even when graded on the Hunter Curve #i think some people DO forget he raised them under real ongoing danger and a total civilian upbringing could've screwed them too #but i also think the people who remember that sometimes forget there was a whole network of resources and less-bad approaches out there #and my dude A+ Coping Mechanism'd his way out of ALL of them #in conclusion: he did his best and it's downright horrifying how much his best sucked #spn s1 #spn s2 #shine watches spn

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cuppedbottledwater · 1 year

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SPN Killer Instinct, Using Sam and Dean as bait, and growing up in Midwest

THIS IS LONG I'M SO SORRY TLDR: Supernatural fans made me realize how fucked up being raised in regular normal world hunting was. So to give some context for this whole post, I need to explain how I grew up. I was raised in rural Midwest America, where everyone and their dog hunted some form of wild game. This meant me and all my friends were taught how to shoot at around 5 to 6 years old. Hunting and shooting guns were things that were considered important milestones where I lived. Getting your first kill was a celebratory occasion and getting your first gun or bow was a huge moment. So of course I didn't understand why people were upset with John Winchester handing Dean a gun and being disappointed Sam didn't have the killer instinct. Because my dad was the same way with me and my older brother, just that I was Dean and my brother was Sam. I was good with a gun, my brother wasn't, and my dad was disappointed in him for it. In my eyes, John was being a normal dad and was completely right to be disappointed that Sam didn't have the same affinity for guns. Then people started talking about John practically using his kids as bait in a hunt. And again, I didn't understand why people were upset since my dad did the same to me and my brother. We went with him on a hunt and he told us to go draw out the deer. Sent us into the woods to make loud noises and break sticks to push the deer herd towards him. That day my dad shot directly at where I stood with my brother. Had any of his shots missed, it would have hit one of us. My dad was praised by the parents of friends and by our family for using us to draw out the herd, so I didn't see anything wrong with it. And then I started to read fanfiction, watch supernatural video essays, and see text posts that all pointed out how fucked up it was. I began talking to SPN fans that I knew online, asking what they thought of it all. And it all made me realize how dangerous my upbringing was, how pitting me and my brother against each other because one of us couldn't shoot like the other was fucked up, how sending us out in the direct line of fire was so incredibly stupid. So if anyone tells you that what John Winchester did was just something that would only happen in fiction, that it's not a big deal and you shouldn't be upset by it at all, you can show them this. Handing kids a gun and being disappointed that they don't perform well with it is real. Sending your kids to bait out prey in a hunt is real. And it's not okay.

#supernatural #john winchester #sam and dean #dean winchester #sam winchester #hunting #fuck john winchester #anti john winchester #tw gun #gun tw #tw hunting #tw bad parents

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drum-bot-brian · 9 months

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i hate it when people make it seem like sam had a good childhood bc dean kinda parented him! like obvy dean did but in the show hes clearly shown to be just a normal teenager who went on a bunch of dates too? he left sam im pluckys for like hours and sam was pretty severely neglected bc dean started hunting with john and leaving sam alone? like this isnt anti dean bc he was just doing teenager things and trying to spend time with his dad but we need to consider the fact that sam had a imaginary friend at like 12 bc he was so lonely and ran away when he was a kid bc he hated hunting (read john) so much! like sam would have known how hard it was to be a kid and he valued his studies a lot so it must have been bad for him to have run away. all those people he thought he was not taught how to hunt need to remember the fact that sam was given a gun when he was still scared of the dark. and even if he wasnt hunting do you thing john winchesters kid wouldnt know how to defend himself? also consider his heavens being when he got away from his home? his random thanksgiving when he was like 13 was better than any times he spent with his family basically

#ALSO in john winchesters jornal sam left at 19 bc he had to repeat a yeat bc he moved around to much #this isnt part of the most so much as something that makes me almost cry #PLEASE REMEMBER THAT SAM AND DEAN BOTH HAD IT BAD #FANON HAS POISONED YOUR MIND #if i read one more fic where dean is being abused and sam doesnt know i will rip organs out #like i wasnt abused but from personal experience if you talk shit at parental figures your more likely to be hit #then if your trying to stop you stupid sibling from getting hit #im not saying that john hit them #but the people who think they did #why do you think john 'i want to kill my son sam' winchester #was only hitting dean

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luna-nigthshade-wood · 2 months

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What they don´t know, will hurt them

Summary: Dean Winchesters attempts suicide on a dirty motel bathtub, ending brain dead on a hospital. A trickster promises John and Sam that he will save him for “free”, as long as they both get through watching a series of Dean´s memories, good and bad. The twist is that they will feel everything Dean did at the time and they can stop it at any time, but then Dean will die. They both accept thinking it cant be that bad. Spoiler: it is worse.

Chapter 37

Sometimes, back when his sons were young, John used to fantasy on the What if´s? What if Mary hadn’t die? What if their house hadn’t burned down? What if his kids had grown up in a normal safe environment? Would Mary and him still be together? Would he still have had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol? Would Adam still exist? Would Sam had still loved school? Would he had still gone to law school at Stanford or would he have chosen a different path? Somehow the what if´s that kept him up at night weren’t these, the ones that prevented him from sleeping were the ones regarding his oldest. Would Dean had gone to college? Would he have been a scholar or a jock? Would he have been more social or have few trusted friends? John´s mind was full of what if´s, but perhaps if he had paid more attention to the reality, none of this would have happened.

The screen lights up once more, and Sam almost chokes recognizing which case their past selves are heading, would it have been too much to ask that they skipped this one? Back then, Sam hadn’t given any thought to his brother´s inner struggles, hadn’t really care to figure why Dean was so adamant to return to their childhood home, and yes, they have saved the day at the end, but Sam didn’t want to uncover the hurt he had put his brother trough.

The scene doesn’t stop though, and it shows Dean trying to find a new case, while “Sam” all but ignores him, drawing something in a note pad. Dean questions his brother, until “Sam” tells him that they need to go back to their childhood home, “Sam” shows his brother and old photo and suddenly sadness and nostalgia fill the room as Dean looks at it. “Sam” keeps talking on the background of the screen, but to Dean (and therefore the viewers) it sounds like miles away, until one sentence catches Dean attention and he snaps back of the trance he was in

-This is going to sound crazy, but the people who live in the house, I think they might be in danger.

-Why do you think that?- Dean asks confuse and nervous

-You gotta trust me on this okay?- “Sam” says ignoring Dean completely

-Trust you? Yeah, I think that I will need a little more than that- Dean says pissed off, but the nervousness is still there- I am not going anywhere until you explain

-I have these nightmares- “Sam” confesses- and sometimes they come true- he tells Dean and Dean´s face goes pale as “Sam” continues- I dreamt about Jessica´s death for days before it happened

-Sam- Dean says sitting down- People dream terrible thing all the time- he says but his voice is shaking

-I dreamt about the blood, about the ceiling, the fire, and now I am dreaming about some woman screaming for help, and that has to mean something- “Sam” says, Dean losing color the more he talks, and John wants to reach out inside the screen and hug his oldest, as he watches the lost look on his face

-I don’t know- Dean says looking lost, the world coming out slightly slurred

-What do you mean you don’t know?- “Sam” screams- This might be the thing that killed mom

-All right. Just slow down, would you?- Dean says, shaking slightly as he buries his nails inside his thighs, a movement only perceptible by the sting the Winchesters get. Dean stands up, and Sam cant honestly keep track of his brother´s feelings, before he exclaims- First you tell me, you got the Shining and then you tell me that I have to get back home. Especially when…

-When what?- “Sam” says

-When I swear myself that I would never go back there- Dean says, tone vulnerable and soft.

-Look, Dean, we have to check this out, just to be sure- “Sam” exclaims, and the mask goes up once more on Dean´s face as he nods and the scene ends.

And Sam wants to rage and shout and his past self for this, this alone is one crime he could never forgive himself, for once in his life Dean was letting the mask slip, his brother was as close as begging for him not to make him go, to the place where his life had burned overnight, and Sam refused him. The walls his brother put had quickly gone up, because Sam hadn’t care to find out what was wrong, he hadn’t care beyond some callous words, because he always had to be right, doesn’t he?

John takes a deep breath knowing what case his sons are working, and it would be a lie if he told himself that he wasn’t close to tears just by the opening. Before this “experience” he was too busy playing the victim to think what his sons had lost, but now, seeing the devastation on Dean´s face he had a clue of what was to come. He also remembered a particular voicemail that he hoped wouldn’t be shown (as if the Trickster would let him get away with it)

The scene progresses and this time it shows the brothers pulling over outside of the house, Dean´s house visibly shaking. They knock on the door, which is answer by the new tenant named Jenny. “Sam” introduces both of them with their real names, and the woman lets them in, telling them she found old pictures of them while cleaning the attic. The woman introduces the brothers to her kids and Dean tries to make small talk to fish for information but his attempts fall flat, with “Sam” having to take the lead. The awkwardness and discomfort Dean is feeling is felt by his family like invisible ants crawling inside their skins, and both of them wonder how Dean was able to stood there long enough without bolting.

Sari, Jenny´s daughter, tells the brothers that she saw a flaming figure and both brothers´ hearts almost stop. They make their excuses and rush out the door, with Dean almost tripping in his haste to get away, “Sam” hot on his heels, all but screaming at his brother his theories about how it might be the thing that killed their mom, with Dean rationalizing that they cant take the people out of the house without investigating more. The brothers drive away to a gas station, with “Sam” asking Dean how much he remembered about that night

-Not much- Dean says and somehow it tastes like a lie- I remember the fire. The heat. Then I carried you out the front door- he admits

-You did?- “Sam” asks surprised, and the Sam in the room feels a pang of hurt just thinking about it.

-Yeah, why, you never knew that?- Dean asks, with “Sam” shaking his head quietly, before Dean continues- And well, you know Dad´s story as much as I do, he found Mom- Dean says, before losing his voice for a couple of seconds and then continuing, with every word almost getting dragged out of him- Whatever out her there was long gone by the time Dad found her

-And he never had a theory about what did it?- “Sam” asks, and Sam gives a side glance to his dad, who avoid his eyes, they both know the answer to that

-If he did- and this sounds sarcastic in Dean´s tone- he kept it to himself. God knows we asked him enough times.

-Okay- “Sam” says with a small voice- So we have to figure out what happened that night and see if it is the same thing- the younger says before adding- Does this feel like a normal case to you?

-I will be right back- Dean says ignoring the question- I gotta go to the bathroom

Dean walks towards the bathroom, but only once he is away from “Sam” does he lets himself lose composure, his fingers tremble as he pulls his phone out of the pocket, a couple of stray tears falling from his eyes, as he dials a known number, getting the voicemail once more

-Dad- Dean says, voice breaking- I know I have left you messages before. I don’t even know if you get them. But I am with Sam and we are in Lawrence and there is something in our old house. I don’t know if it’s the thing that killed mom or not…but… I don’t know what to do- Dean says before breaking down- So whatever you are doing, if you could get here. Please. I need your help, dad- Dean pleads, before he hangs up the phone, and yes maybe, John should have expected the punch to the face that Sam gives him

-He asked for your help- Sam says, once the flow of blood slowed down- He practically begged for it and you refused.

-Sammy, I…-John says trying to excuse the inexcusable

-No, dad- Sam furiously says- Don’t even try to explain. Dean, who never asked anything from you, asked for your help and you ignored him, just like you ignore him every single need or want he has. What possibly stupid reason would you give, that would excuse this, huh?- Sam asks screaming

-I did go- John confesses and Sam has half a mind to punch his father again- But by the time that I arrived you two had practically solved the case

-So what?- Sam retorts- You didn’t think that perhaps you could have talked to us, instead of leaving us hanging?

-You have to understand, Sam- John tries to defend- The demon was after me, I was protecting you

-No, dad- Sam replies with a hollow voice- You were protecting yourself- he says and well what can John respond when presented with the truth

The memory continues as Dean slowly sinks in the ground, disappointment and desperation filling him, before shakenly pulling his phone out once more and making another call, the first sentence he says making John´s stomach turn

-Give me a reason why I shouldn’t just blow my brains out and be done with it?- Dean says as soon as the call connects on the other end

-Because your family will miss you- a familiar female voice tells him

-They wont care- Dean laughs humorless- Hell, they will probably be happy to get rid of my useless ass

-I will miss you- Faith responds

-You will get over it- Dean retorts, tears falling freely

-I wont, and that is something you cant refute, because it involves myself and you know it- she tells him- Also you will be flanking on your promise, and that is an insult to fae culture

-What are you gonna do?- Dean asks- Kill me? Make my life a living hell? Because trust me, it already is- he says, but even with the grim topic the Winchesters realize that Dean has finally stop shaking

-Maybe revive you- Faith answers- You know, as punishment- she says, getting a small laugh from Dean, before she asks- What happened?

-I am at Lawrence, in a case that involves my old house- Dean answers- I guess, I kind of got lost inside my head.

-Do you need help?- the Fae asks with no hesitation

-No- Dean says- At least I don’t think so, I think I just needed to talk to someone that would listen. Thank you- Dean tells her, with the tears finally stopping

-Happy to serve and be of service- Faith responds- And I am serious, if you need help, you can call at any time.

-Thank you, F- Dean says one more before disconnecting the call, as the scene ends

The fact that something (someone, his mind reprimands) that he would have called a monster and gank without a second thought shows more kindness and support to his son that his own father, hits something deep inside John. Because the truth is that there is a monster in this narrative, and he sees it everytime he looks in a mirror.

Sam, for his part, is stunned into silence. He never acknowledged Dean´s struggles with more than a path in the shoulder and perhaps a quick hug, and then proceed to never mention it again. He never knew how close he was to lose Dean (he never knew how close to the edge his brother was)

The memories continue this time showing the boys at the garage that John used to own, bringing back memories to the man that had long been forgotten. The brothers interrogate John´s partner at the garage asking him if he knew something about the Winchesters disappearance, the man tells them that after the fire John claimed that something caused the fire and killed Mary, even though it was an “accident”, starting to read odd books and seeing a psychic in town. Afterwards, “Sam” starts to research psychics in town with Dean recognizing the name of Missouri Moseley as one he had read at their dad´s journal, so they head to the woman´s house to speak to speak to her.

Missouri recognize them upon arrival, giving his condolences to “Sam”, while also telling them that she doesn’t know where their father is. Dean doesn’t take the news well and makes a verbal jab towards the psychic but she rebuts telling him that she can only read thoughts and energies. She tells the boys, she is the one that told him the truth about what was out there and if the Winchesters hadn’t been paying attention they would have missed the barely there resentment that Dean quickly feels and dismiss. He recovers quickly asking the woman if she knows what killed their mom, and she tells them that she went to the house with John looking for clues, but she doesn’t know what it was, only that it was evil. “Sam” tells her that they think the creature is back in the house and that it might be related with their missing father and Jessica´s death. Dean and Missouri both getting pale at hearing this.

The scene moves on, showing the boys and Missouri going to the old house. Jenny opens the door and tells them it is not a good time, Dean, clearly off his game, tries to interject but Missouri slaps him on the back of his head, and tries to explain to the frighten woman was going on. All in all, a normal for them conversation but a phrase that Missouri says repeats inside the Winchester´s head:

-Forgive the boy- Missouri says- He means well. He is just not the sharpest tool in the shed. Now hear me out…

But whatever she says next, they don’t quite hear, too busy getting confronted with Dean´s feelings of hurt and self-hate, that he quickly tries to contain to keep his mind on the game.

Whatever Missouri says works, because Jenny grants them access to the house. They climb to Sam´s nursey and for a moment Dean feels panic as he tries to do anything possible to block bad memories from resurging. Missouri tells them that it is not the same thing that kill their mom, but it is related. She thinks that the creature that is terrorizing the family is a poltergeist that was attracted by the evil energy related to the house and that there might be a second more benign spirit. She tells them that they need to purify the house to expulse the creature.

The three split up to cover more ground and Dean takes a deep breath as he starts to work, a noise is all the warning he gets as his instincts kick in managing to duck before a knife invades itself where his face was a second before, he doesn’t hesitate either using a table as a cover and managing to put the herbs in place. He rushes upstairs to find “Sam” getting strangled by a cord, that only stops when he puts the ingredients in the spot in the wall, a white light is seen before it disappears, with Missouri exclaiming that is finally over, even if “Sam” is not convinced.

“Sam” convinces Dean to park outside the house for the night, telling him that something isn’t right, with Dean secretly agreeing that things seem to have been too easy. “Sam” looks at the window and sees Jenny asking for help making the boys jump into action. Dean hurries to the woman´s bedroom trying and failing to open the door, before kicking it out, managing to get Jenny to safety, Jenny´s kids come out the door soon after, but there is no sign of “Sam”, the little girl claims something grab him, so Dean hurries and tries to enter the house taking down the door with an ax.

Dean enters the house, finding “Sam” and a fire figure, he goes to shoot but “Sam” stops him, and Dean´s heart (along with John´s) skips a beat at seeing his mom´s ghostly figure.

The sight leaves Dean speechless, with a wheel of emotions intermixing. The moment last only a few minutes tough and as quickly as Mary appears she disappears taking the poltergeist with her.

The scene jumps to the next morning showing Jenny thanking the brothers and giving Dean some photos she found. The nostalgia Dean feels is mixed with melancholy, before he locks them inside one of the boxes inside the trunk of the Impala, before he and “Sam” drive away closing the scene and finishing the memory.

Sam stares at the blank screen for a minute, trying to keep his emotions at check. Now more than anything, he regrets not having pay attention to his brother. Through the whole case, Dean was struggling, with reason, trying to keep his head in the game, without letting it show how it was affecting him. The nostalgia and melancholy still in the air, but there is bitterness in there too, bitterness at thinking of the life they could have had in another life, and Sam doesn’t know how to process this new information

There is something inherently broken in his family, John thinks, something he broke and never bother to try and fix. Because, back then Dean needed him more than ever, and he gave excuses once again to avoid confrontation, prioritizing once more his own feelings, telling himself that Dean was going to be okay. But Dean wasn’t okay and he hadn’t been okay for a while. And one day, near the future of the memory, his eldest would climb into a bathtub and (try to) kill himself and he wouldn’t ask for help, why would he? He had no reason to believe someone would help him.

AO3

Masterlist

#supernatural #spn fic #supernatural fic #spn au #supernatural au #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #mary winchester #missouri moseley #suicidal dean #bad parent john winchester

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