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groenendaelfic · 2 months

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you know I wasn't going to comment on anything s3 in detail or write a super long divisive post because that's draining and tiring and I just want everyone to have fun and find joy in fandom in whatever way is best for them. And yet here we are. Who'd have thought?

All I wanted from season 3 was for Wilmon to talk to and with each other, to get to know each other (better) and to try to understand and support each other and grow together. To be a couple in love and working on their relationship, learning from each other. Them against the world, facing problems together as a team. I wanted romance and hugs and honesty, and all I got was them being horny. I mean don't get me wrong I love them being horny, but I don't want that to be their entire (positive) relationship and the only thing they have going for them as a couple. Please just have an actual, proper conversation with each other?

This post however is not about that. This post is about Kristina.

I hate what they did with her. I hate her entire character arc (if you can call it that) in s3. I hate what triggered her breakdown. I hate that instead of breaking the circle of abuse and emotional and physical neglect she no doubt suffered, she perpetuated it.

She left her son alone when he needed her most. When all he needed was a hug and a good long cry and the assurance that he's not alone, that she's there for him. That she understands. For someone (his family) to be there and listen and assure him that for them, Wille comes first. (I mean not all, he also needed proper therapy for one, but that'd have been a great and important start)

Wille is a child. Her child. Wille needed her and she failed him. She pushed him away and she sent him away and she left him alone.

(the same is true for Ludvig of course, it'd be extremely sexist etc to not put the exact same expectations and blame on him as well, but alas this post is only indirectly about him as everything always is at best)

However.

Her son is dead.

She's been groomed to believe her entire purpose in life is to be a mascot (which comes with very specific expectations and restrictions she herself said she struggled to adapt to) and to give birth to the next mascot.

I don't pity her for that, but that's still her entire identity and purpose in life. It's always been, and now the next mascot is dead and she has to burden the son she thought would be spared with it all, pun very much intended.

But let's return to my first point first. Her son is dead. Not just the next mascot. Her son.

Yes, Wille's brother died as well and I'll never make light of that. It's horrible and a grief and pain impossible to put into words. Especially as a kid or young teen. Wille needs all the support. Still.

It's not the same.

I know it's not the same because I know exactly what it's like. Both of it.

Granted I'm not a queen, but I did have a cousin who died aged sixteen. We lived in the same house their entire life and shared a bedroom for years. We were like siblings. It was my first time experiencing the death of a close loved one and it was horrible. We all struggled for a long time. Their siblings and I and the entire family, and they will never be forgotten, but it broke my aunt and uncle. Fifteen years later and they're still broken.

I also have two sons and a spouse who are dead (no I didn't lose them, I know exactly where they are) and I promise you it's not the same. A dead sibling is nothing like a dead child. (not that it's a competition)

I'm not going to talk about what it does to you internally, but I will tell you what you'll experience from the outside world when your family dies excitingly enough to make it to the local newspaper. Then feel free to multiply it by a large number of your own choosing when you're royalty and the entire country is looking at you and you've been groomed to never lose composure.

Everyone will call and show up and want to show their support and their condolences (that lasts until about a week or so after the funeral). And they will get two words in and break down and cry, each and every one of them, and then it's your job to console them and be strong and deal with all the arrangements and lawyers and bureaucracy. And it'll have to be you for most things no matter how supportive your family might be, because it's you who needs to sign shit and show the school a death certificate. Everyone will mean well, but it'll be everyone else who'll require reassurance and you who'll have no choice but to function because at first there's so much to do. So much. You won't have time to breathe until after the funeral, and after that there're still so much more to do and take care of you'd never have considered before. For weeks. You can ask someone else to drive you but it'll still be you who's required to show up and do the thing. Some things will drag out for months and more. You don't have time to break down and be weak. You can't afford to, because you also have a job and other responsibilities and a duty to your dead loved ones.

But then the day comes when it's 'over' and there's nothing more to do. Sure people still look at you with pity and whisper behind your back wherever you go and fall quiet, unsure how to react or what to say, because you're now the lady who lost her family in a freak accident, but everything and everyone else moves on. That's normal. It can't not. But it's that quiet after which is the most dangerous.

I hate that they made Kristina's breaking point her son publicly coming out as queer, renouncing following traditions without thought and admitting to having been in the video. I hate it so much, because that was a choice made with an entirely different motive behind the one I'll expound on now and I hate that. Don't instrumentalize grief and the loss of a child and sibling to further prove and underline your political agenda (which I agree with). It cheapens it and was very much unnecessary. We all would've gotten the point without it as well.

But you know what? I can't fault Kristina for that.

You don't know your breaking point until you reach it. It can be anything. There's a reason the saying goes 'the straw that broke the camel's back'. Everyone has a different one and they often feel very ridiculous to oneself (which is a very helpful feeling in that situation, believe me /s). I've talked to numerous people who've gone through something similar. In my support group and in grief counseling and group therapy. No one I've met had a 'logical' breaking point.

Mine came late last fall when I saw a robin outside my window. Yes a bird. We'd have one come every winter to eat the oats and raisins etc we put out for it, and my youngest would spend endless hours every day before dusk looking out that window waiting for the robin to come and eat for a few moments at a time, less if he started clapping out of excitement.

That was it. Boom. I was useless for the next seven weeks.

You don't let your grief overcome you. That isn't a choice. You don't choose not to function when a loved one dies. You don't choose to be depressed or to have the most ridiculous thing be your breaking point. You don't choose to be too strong to not let the grooming break you or to be too weak to be unable to break out of it. And you don't choose to be unable to sit at a birthday party and enjoy cake with a son you know you'll have to force into a role he never wanted, the one your dead son was supposed to fill.

Does that make Kristina any less of a shitty mom? No, of course not. Nor does it change anything for Wille. Kristina's grief shouldn't be Wille's concern. But you don't choose any of that, and the stronger you have to appear the farther you'll fall once you just can't hold it together anymore.

I grew up with a very large, multicultural extended family. There wasn't an hour I was awake at home as a kid when I wasn't hugged or kissed by a younger cousin or aunt or my mom (it was super annoying). We talked and still talk about everything. I married into a family which was a bit less physical and more Swedish in showing their affection, but they are still very open and loving and genuine. I had all the support I could ask for. They're the best and I couldn't have asked for more.

It's not enough. Your child is dead. And Kristina had none of that.

Is Kristina (and Ludvig) super annoying for going on and on and on about Erik and how perfect he was? About always bringing him up when they have a son right there who needs them desperately?

Yes. It annoyed me too. I kept catching myself being furious on Wille's behalf and Simon's with how Wille reacted to the not-comparison between Erik and Sara. But I understand Wille's reaction to Simon and I understand Kristina and Ludvig.

Because once your child / sibling / spouse / dog dies?

They become perfect. My oldest once poured syrup where he shouldn't (it was a Nordic winter night and the car was thirsty) resulting in us being out of our only car, our insurance laughing at us, and us unable to afford a new one. It cost a lot of money, my spouse almost their job and made our life a lot harder for well over a year. He was old enough to know better (and leave the house by himself to go outside and play). He never did anything wrong in his life. He was perfect. They were all perfect.

Erik? What we learn about him is horrifying, and it being normalized and dare I say institutionalized, with him probably not having second guessed his actions, makes it worse instead of better. I do believe Erik was the kind of guy who just didn't (care to) think and merely did what was expected without further thought. That doesn't make it better either, because those kinds of people are the ones who keep corrupt systems running. I might be wrong about his character entirely, but it doesn't matter, because as soon as he died he became perfect.

It's weird what death does to our perception of a loved one. Or maybe not. It's also weird what death does to our perception of everything, because suddenly everything will remind us of that person.

A cloud? A scent? A sound? Toilet paper? Kristina is at the stage where everything she sees and feels and smells and hears will remind her of Erik and his death. Of how he's dead and now Wille has to become him and that is the worst.

Also her son is dead.

No she can't just pull herself together and eat the damn cake. Everything she talks about is Erik because everything she currently is is Erik. Her son who is dead.

There is a reason this is such an often used trope in fiction.

Kristina spent all her life being told that her duty to the throne is her only purpose in life. Be queen. Represent Sweden. Produce an heir. Part of why she's as old as she is is no doubt because Pernilla August is awesome and you can't not hire her when that's an option, but nothing else in this show is a coincidence and done without thought, so I refuse to believe that Kristina hasn't always been meant to be an older mom.

Maybe she had fertility issues. Maybe she for whatever reason didn't want kids and put it off for as long as she could. She's certainly not maternal. Unlike every other woman her generation, no one ever expected her to be maternal. That's not her job.

Quite the opposite. Kristina is old enough to have been raised at a time when royal mothers weren't expected to have any hand in raising their children except for approving (or rather disapproving chosen) nannies and playmates and tutors and the like. She was very likely the first female heir apparent, or maybe she was simply the heir because she had no (male) siblings. Either way her job was always to be a monarch, not a woman or a mother. That's what staff is for. That's not an excuse, but it does explain her as a character.

She was groomed and forced herself to adjust (I do believe forced is the right word, because unlike Erik she seems to (have) be(en) a lot more like Wille than she'd like to admit). She had to be strong and queen and represent Sweden. And then her son and heir died and she failed at both.

I do believe Erik was always the 'easier' child, doing what he was told and taking only the freedoms he knew he'd be granted, while Wille is willful, argues, has a temper and his own head. (that doesn't mean Erik was happier or better adjusted)

And now Erik is dead and Wille has to fit the mold. Wille who got to go to a normal school and clubbing and was let to run wild with little preparation for the role he'd someday have to support his brother with. Arguments can be made that Kristina and everyone else never cared about Wille until they needed him, but I'd like to think she meant well and gave him the freedom she could, and because she is a bad parent she thought she was being kind, and because she is queen no one told her otherwise until it became a problem.

Kristina has never been a good parent, and I honestly believe saying someone meant well is an insult and not an excuse, but I do believe she tried the best with what she knew, the best she could.

It wasn't enough, it was the opposite of enough, but she tried and her breakdown is not a weakness but something which was a long time in coming.

She's not maternal. Her job wasn't to be maternal. Her job is to be a mascot and have other people make sure the next mascot is fed and watered and able to perform. Her being too brainwashed to see how horrifying that is does not make her innocent or any less of a bad mother, but why would she think of acting any other way?

She's ashamed of her breakdown. She can't be weak. Not in front of the nation and not in front of her son and heir. Wille can learn and grow and change. Everyone can and it's never too late, but Kristina here is meant to be what Wille risks becoming if he doesn't, if he gives up and becomes a thoughtless mascot.

Kristina is not a victim and I can't forgive her for being a shit mom, but she's also not the devil. She's a mother who lost her child, and she's spent her whole life being told that the worst thing she can do is to appear weak.

Well guess what? At one point that simply doesn't work anymore.

This post by the lovely @voldiebeth is what motivated me to write a similar one. I originally planned on reblogging and merely adding my own thoughts, and I did talk to her before posting, but then it became something even more personal than originally planned, and considering the difficulty of the subject I found myself more comfortable making this a standalone post. I know that's not proper tumblr etiquette, but please bear with me. Many thanks to @voldiebeth for motivating me to put my convoluted thoughts and feelings in writing and order them a bit. It was very cathartic.

#On an entirely different point #I'll never be able to wrap my head around how Farima of all people turned out to be the best kindest and most functioning adult around #despite representing a dysfunctional system #Followed by Micke of all people?#Every other adult was crap!#Ramirez might get a tiny #hypocritical bonus point #but Boris you too!#what was that?#Your job did not end with Wille giving his speech!#oh and I'm not asking for condolences #that is not the point of this post #yr s3 spoilers #queen kristina #young royals meta #young royals analysis #young royals #random ramblings

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piebingo · 1 year

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There’s an important detail that gets mixed up sometimes about the decision to put August next in line after Wilhelm and I think it’s a very important detail to get right: Kristina was not the one to put August next in line, it was the royal court.

She tells August about the crown’s decision and he says thank you, to which she replies something along the lines of "it’s not my idea" (in the English translation she says "Well, you should know it wasn’t my idea" and in the French translation she says with as much sass as she can, "It wasn’t my idea. Obviously." She then tells him she will stand by her son first and foremost but it is what it is.)

Why is that distinction important? Obviously, it does show that the Queen doesn’t agree with what August did (now, whether it is mostly because of the negative impact on the crown or on her son’s life is questionable, I think it’s a mix of both). Whether she actually stands by her son isn’t the point I want to focus on tho.

No, what’s important is that the Queen wasn’t the one to make that decision. We don’t know how it went, maybe she could have fought harder against the idea, but she does not have that much power to take the decision. And why is that important? Because it is exactly the type of thing Wille will have to deal with as a King. This detail of Kristina telling August —and thus us the public— that she didn’t want to put him in line for the throne but that what she wants doesn’t matter is there to show us that her hands are tied. I am sure she does have some decisional power on certain things, but still. This is an important decision that favours a criminal, and what other things like that have the court done during her reign? And before her? And if what the Queen wants doesn’t matter, which in this case is very reasonable —don’t put a criminal in line for the throne— then what Wille wants does not matter either. Because the royal court does not care.

This is the path that Wille is being led on right now. He will be in Kristina’s place once he is King. Was Kristina always so focused on the crown first family second? Was she once just like Wille, a bit rebellious and wanting what’s right, only for the royal court to mold her into what the Queen they wanted? Because if this is the case, if this is how it went for Kristina… what’s stopping anyone from trying to do this to Wille? And sure, he will have Simon by his side (they are endgame okay, thank you) but realistically, it’s important to note that Wille isn’t immune to this, and that Simon does not want that either. He loves Wilhelm but the royal court already fucked him over many times and it’s been what, 5 months? It could happen to Wille, because the royal court seems to have a lot of power. They already started with Wille.

So this detail is really important yes to show that Kristina stands by her son (although she does loads of questionable things, I have never doubted she loves her son but I have doubted that she stands by Wille first and foremost. we will see next season whether that’s true but it is interesting that she says it when Wille isn’t there to hear it. it makes me think she will try (succeeding is another thing entirely) to stand by him). But most importantly, this detail is there to show us the inner workings of the royal court, of the role and power the Queen/King holds, and show us how it will be for Wille. Of course, Jan-Olof is at the head of the royal court and putting someone with more humanity in that role would probably make the royal court more human, thus changing the monarchy, but yeah. I think it’s interesting and important! Kristina says word for word that it wasn’t her decision and it bugs me when people forget that because it’s important in so many ways that the decision comes from the court.

#bit of a ramble sorry #young royals #wilhelm young royals #kristina young royals #august young royals

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saintdollyparton · 1 year

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KTY being both a former ballerina in the freaking Bolshoi Ballet AND a super cool surfer chick is the most interesting and attractive combination I can think of.

#like it's not enough that she's already gorgeous and kind and an amazing actress #kristina tonteri young #warrior nun cast #warrior nun #randa rambles

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chloeseyeliner · 2 months

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so, this may seem completely random to some, but.

since i have decided not to log in on tumblr/stay off the tag for the next couple of days, until i am able to watch the third season- personal choice i don't need distractions from doing some work/school stuff, a.k.a. my curiosity having the upper hand and me ending up spoiling myself, lol- i want to wish everyone in the fandom happy watching, whenever you do so.

i am aware we still have one week for the finale plus the documentary, but i just want to say, despite not seeming to be a very active member of the fandom and lurking in the shadows, these almost (key word: almost, hehe) three years of being a part of this whole thing, which was one of the reasons i decided to create a tumblr account (a year too late, haha) in the first place, have been wonderful- with the exception of very few incidents i won't bring up right now.

even though i may not always show it by rebloging and the like, i am always amazed by the way people put the puzzle pieces together, by their wittiness and their humour, by their talent and creativity- and by our collective decision of learning/trying to learn swedish at some point, lol. so, from a stranger on the internet who happens to love the same show as you, you guys (gender neutral) rock. this show, in spite of being the amazing, inspiring, heart-breaking and heart-warming creation that it is, wouldn't be the same without any one of you- and i am not saying us, because the only thing i have contributed in the past years is screamingcryingthrowingup over the characters' breathing. lol.

i don't want this to seem like a goodbye to the show post, because it's always going to be there, and, as some may say, it's just a show. but the thing is, it doesn't really feel like just a show sometimes. personally, i'll keep posting about it from my deathbed. and i cannot wait for the actors and the whole crew's projects about to come. they are very talented and promising and wonderful.

i watched young royals a "rainy" day of july 2021. back then, i don't think i realised how important it would be to me. to many people around the globe of course, not to seem selfish here.

so, happy watching, y'all (i am not american, i just unironically like y'all, haha). this fandom (a 99% majority of it, anyway) has been and will always be great and so freaking funny- i am so looking forward to the memes created by the scenes of the (not-so-little-anymore) dramatic swedish show we love and cherish like our baby.

till the end of the week where you'll see me losing my mind over everything*,

i hope you have a nice watching.

*also, this post is a formal apology to the mutuals and the people whose posts i'll reblog. i'll try not to be insufferable. not promising anything, though. hehe.

#this is a fandom appreciation post #because i always talk about the show which yes is a masterpiece in itself #but the analyses? the memes? the inside jokes? the fanart and the fanfictions?#they are all so great not to appreciate #also if this post seems selfish tell me so #(can you tell i am not used to used the first person in any conversation ever lol?)#less than a day for our children to come back #kristina i am still waiting for you in the corner #august you're welcome to join your dear aunt as well #i just want to talk #(rambling for no reason)#young royals #young royals season three #anyway #maria's random posts

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plusvanity · 2 months

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I gotta draw lesbian Vargelle. They'd be fucking GORGEOUS OH MY GOD

#my ramblings #vargelle nation #dude fr #Kristina protects her gf like the crazy bitch that she is #Mean Girls at Helvete really happens I guess #pelle ohlin #varg vikernes

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purplesimmer455 · 1 month

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Meanwhile in Brindleton Bay, Rory Oaklow spends time with her family. In the 11 years* she spent with her neglectful bio parents in her childhood, her hometown of Brindleton Bay had seemed like a crappy place, and now its the opposite in her adult years with the life she’s built. Still, Rory’s been going to therapy to work through things from her childhood, and tries to be a good mom to her and Mia’s kids, and a good wife to Mia.

Rory now kisses Mia’s cheek, pulling her close. “You look so gorgeous, Mia.” She says, and Mia blushes. “Thanks baby you too.” She says, squeezing Rory’s waist. After that, Rory checks in with her kids. She’s so proud of all of them, and can’t believe it started with her adopting Morgan as her own son when she and Mia got engaged, and then she and Mia had their daughter Kristina, and their youngest son Owen. Now Morgan’s 18 and attending Britechester from home, Kristina is in the fourth grade and getting better everyday with her werewolf skills, and Owen is two years old and learning fast.

#ts4 #mysims #Rory Oaklow #Mia Zhao-Jones #Moragan Zhao-Jones #Kristina Zhao-Jones #Owen Zhao-Jones #*At 11 she was turned into a werewolf & taken to Moonwood Mill and adopted shortly by Kristopher Volkov who she considers her true parent #Pardon the rambling #I’m writing this in that pre-Iftari (opening of the fast) mode so my brain is fully in sleep mode until tomorrow 😅

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books-books-smolderinglooks · 2 years

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Remember that part of Young Royals when Wille calls his mom to share the news he just found out about August being the one who released to the world a video of such a private moment of his life.

Unforgivable, for she knew all along. Imagine how foolish Wille felt thinking he was calling to inform her of this news because otherwise, surely she would have let him know. There would have been repercussions. But no, she says, eventually yelling.. I'm protecting our family, our royal family, our legacy, it's the only thing that can give Erik's death any.. meaning, she was going to say. Nevermind he's still grieving.. never mind that he's the son who's alive. Needs help. His life has been ruined by this. We see how devastated Wille is.. how is he supposed to trust his mom now? Should he have ever? Heartbreaking.

Her actions are reprehensible here and I think this is the culmination of all other actions we found unpleasant and overshadows some of the more kind moments. Can't see how I can ever be understanding of this. I'm so intrigued on how this will be mended (can it? certainly never fully) in S2.

I dont think anyone really needed a reminder on why some individuals dislike the Queen so strongly but yeah.. here you go.. 😅

#young royals #queen kristina #prince wilhelm #some ramblings #would love to hear your thoughts #she's not evil but dang does she need to do better..

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c0smicdaisy · 2 years

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i don't know what to do. my plan this summer was to fly to london for a few days meeting a friend and going to a festival BUT plane tickets are crazy expensive rn with no sight of getting any cheaper this season and the thought of flying to another country ALL BY MYSELF sends me into a near panic attack every time i think about it.

but then again i would really love to go to the festival and meet my friend irl finally...

is it worth the money and the soul crushing anxiety tho 😭

#i hate this #this is all I've been thinking about for weeks #it's giving me a serious headache and even more serious anxiety #fuck #just #argh #kristina rambles

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reflectionsofgalaxies · 1 year

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She breaks my brain in the best possible way. Can hardly fathom how someone is this beautiful inside and out. ✨

Me? Sharing KTY photos from other platforms as an excuse to gush about her in the tags? More likely than you’d think.

#Kristina Tonteri-Young #KTY #more photos from the Timid article photoschoot as shared later on Instagram #(photoshoot* autocorrect go home ur drunk)#I just watched one of her cameos where someone asked her to talk about a funny memory #and whoever that was THANK YOU #seeing her happy and giggly is so so so amazing #she deserves the world #ALSO she has like holographic clear nail polish on and it’s SO PRETTY??#anyway now i’m just rambling about her bc i love her #i really really really hope we get her back as Beatrice and i haven’t given up hoping that #but whatever happens i hope she finds projects that are challenging and fulfilling to her this coming year #she deserves that and so much more #Warrior Nun #Sister Beatrice #Save Warrior Nun

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bluedalahorse · 11 months

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17 and 18 from the Fanfic Writer Asks!

Before I start, the ask box game is linked here in case anyone else wants to ask me something.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Two learnings! Food and fashion!

A food-related piece of information to start: somehow I ended up reading about kåldolmar (cabbage rolls) and how they are allegedly linked to time in the 18th century when Carl XII was staying in the Ottoman Empire. Apparently (according to what I read at least) they’re a Swedish adaptation of dolmas. Which is kinda cool to learn, especially since I’m someone who likes food from the eastern Mediterranean.

And now, fashion: Because I’m writing something set in 1809, I did end up reading about clothes closures, and the different ways that clothes were closed with pins and drawstrings and the like. I think spicy scenes in fanfic tend to fall back on buttons a lot, whether those fics are historical or contemporary. But strings! Laces! Pins! Imagine the ways they can be used to amplify the spiciness content, whether that’s through humor or through sensory surprises or whatever else. I’m just saying.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Oh gosh. I have a few lines I really like, but I like them so much I want readers to discover them in context. So instead I’m going to grandstandingly share a few passages from Heart and Homeland, one for each of the primary viewpoint characters I write, and say what I like about them.

So anyway, to preview… queer-and-questioning Felice! Poetry-influenced Sara! Unreliable August! Protestant Kristina!

Felice

“My father is not easy to discuss while dancing,” Simon was quiet for a moment, as if letting the air swallow the entire topic of fathers. Then a boyish smile, almost shy, came to his face. “But I heard you and Wilhelm have met before?” Ah, so the smile was for Wilhelm. “Tell me about that.”

“We were six years old,” said Felice. “Mamma has been eyeing us all night. I swear she wants me to marry him now.”

“Would you? Would you consider it a love match if your parents arranged it?”

What a strange question, Felice thought. “I’m not a foreign princess and Sweden needs an alliance. So I couldn’t.”

“I couldn’t marry Wilhelm either,” Simon said.

Although Simon and Felice both laughed at the latter comment, Felice felt Simon’s hand twitch suddenly in her own, as if he were startled. What did that mean? The music in the background did not change key or tempo, as if the orchestra itself was pressuring her not to ask.

So instead Felice only said, “Such a droll remark, Mr. Eriksson.”

It left her heart feeling sad and a little rain-soaked, after she said it. She needed more of their secret language to say Wilhelm has a hold on you and I would like to understand it more, if you judged us friends enough to tell me about him. But she was still only a baby babbling syllables in a tongue where Simon was more fluent, and now the progression of the dance was forcing them apart from one another again. Felice’s feet grew heavy, even as her steps remained perfect.

Okay, something I like about this passage is that Felice and Simon are bonding, which is something canon should give us more of. I like being able to play with the politeness demanded of Felice by society at large, versus what Felice actually wants to say in a conversation, and how she negotiates that.

Felice is also on the verge of discovering her queerness here—something that Simon already understands about himself and has language for—but that Felice doesn’t quite have words for yet. She senses a kinship between herself and Simon, but she doesn’t quite know how to articulate it. In the passages and chapters that follow, Felice discovers more about herself and begins to embrace it. I was very conscious to make platonic friendships an important part of her queer self-acceptance journey. Felice’s choice to elevate friendships to the same level as the romantic relationship she eventually becomes part of… that’s important to me!

Queer friendship hits different and sometimes it makes me sad when queer texts over-emphasize the romantic aspects of being queer while downplaying the platonic stuff. So I decided to write what I wanted to see in the world.

Sara

When Sara and Simon were children, their Pappa told them about the whales he’d seen on his voyages. Pappa narrated grand bedtime stories about the creatures, moving his hands and changing the volume of his voice so that Sara could imagine the suddenness of a splash, the massive arc of a tail breaking through the waves. If you were patient, he said, you could see a whale coming up for air. Sara used to cling to Simon as she listened, half scared and half exhilarated. For Sara to be able to sleep at all, Simon had to remind her that the whales couldn’t get them on land.

Secrets, Sara later came to understand, swam under her skin like whales swam under the water. They moved with just as much magnitude. Sometimes, for a moment, she could forget about a secret and it wouldn’t bother her. Given enough time, however, a secret needed air. It too would force itself to the surface so that Sara could keep breathing.

Sara is probably the POV character I write who is the most influenced by the work I’ve done in poetry. My MFA advisor last fall really worked with me on images, and we spent a lot of time studying image systems in novels-in-verse. I’m pretty sure these two paragraphs were influenced by that study. Like, whales = secrets. Okay, Blue.

Sara’s memories play an important role for me in shaping her motivations and core emotions. I like including lots of glimpses of what her and Simon were like as little kids. I know we’re all hoping to get more Eriksson family backstory in season 3, and I hope for that too, so it’s something I try to include in my writing. As difficult and horrifying as things probably got with Micke at times, I think it’s also important to show moments where he’s taking care of Simon and Sara and being their father. These memories are now sad and bittersweet for Sara because of Micke’s abuse, and they’re also an important part of understanding her and how she views herself.

August

He cast his gaze in another direction, where Sara Eriksson was curtseying to Prince Wilhelm and taking her leave. Thank goodness those two would not be dancing another set together. Now why was His Highness going off on his own again? Didn’t he understand that you could win over influential families by flirting with their daughters? And if Wilhelm was going to be king someday, August thought, he ought to have at least one mistress, for the sake of convention. Though August would never say such a thing to his cousin the queen, he could not understand why Wilhelm so insisted on cultivating a chaste appearance. It made no sense, given his position.

Anyhow! If everyone wanted to dismantle the social hierarchy this evening, why couldn’t August ask Sara Eriksson to dance and make Felice feel as slighted as he did? He wouldn’t of course, since Miss Eriksson had started the trouble between him and Felice in the first place, and August wanted to prove he could avoid such trouble. Flexing his fingers, he made his way through the crowd, toward the doors that opened onto the garden terrace. If he was going to let himself pine and rage, he might as well do it in the darkness. The English Lord Byron, with all his poetry of ill repute, could only approve of such a pose.

OH AUGUST. I wrote this passage as an homage to Susanna Clarke, whose descriptions of Lord Byron in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell had me in stitches. Clarke is divinely talented at writing self-important men and their warped perspectives of the world, so I find myself inspired by her a lot when I’m writing from August’s point of view.

August is not a reliable narrator, obviously, and I like playing with how his perceptions of events change with time. Like, no, Sara did not start the trouble between him and Felice; he started it and flirted with Sara. But of course, August is the most wounded ever, you guys. He is so brooding he could just write (bad) poetry about it. In the next few paragraphs (not shared here) August’s thoughts start to drift toward more in the direction of Freudian death drive ideations (maybe with some Freudian sex drive thrown in, I mean why the hell not.) I found it an interesting writing challenge in terms of transitioning over-the-top ridiculousness toward the more more serious stuff that sort of hints at the traumatized core of the character.

I highly encourage that every Young Royals fan (who can do so from a place of emotional safety) try writing from August’s perspective at least once. It is a solid exercise and you will learn a lot from it!

Kristina

As a devout monarch, Kristina knew that the world to come offered far more than the world she’d been placed in charge of. The Lord had brought so many of her dear family members home to heaven—her father, her husband Ludwig, her cousin Karl Johan, one unnamed daughter who only lived three days, and most recently Erik. Especially during the Easter season, Kristina could push through the hollowness of her grief and tell herself that at the end of life, salvation waited for those dear to her. If anything had happened to her Wilhelm last night, however, it would have shaken her faith the way cannonfire might shake the windows of a building.

Wilhelm was Kristina’s miracle; she had thought of him that way since he was very little, fighting through his sick spells. At that age, when he felt well enough, he would sit at her knee in the evenings and listen to her stories of what she’d done as queen during the day. He would often repeat back the details of a particular state visit or conflict between nobles, and would do so in such a way that Kristina felt more equipped to solve the problem at hand. Then at night, Wilhelm would sleep with his arms tucked around a pillow, looking so angelic that Kristina couldn’t help reaching out stroking her son’s silk-soft hair in a way she didn’t when he was awake. No, she did not want Wilhelm among the angels just yet. So she thanked God, and then thanked Him again, and then asked Him to guide Wilhelm as he got closer to taking the throne.

Sigh. Kristina. You do love your son, you are just… so bad at showing it. And in this universe you are so, so very Protestant. I like how I managed to tie all that together here, and give this little flashback into who Kristina has lost and how she thinks back on her life. I often access a core emotion when writing each of my POV characters, and Kristina’s emotion is grief. I also think you can tell Kristina sees the similarities between Wilhelm and herself. Sometimes that means she sees him as an extension of herself, which is I think where the conflicts between them start.

Similarly to August, I highly encourage every Young Royals fan (who can do so from a place of emotional safety) to write from Kristina’s perspective at least once. She’s worth the investment of your writing time!

Anyway I hope that was all a fun behind the scenes…

#ask game #my fanfiction #heart and homeland bts #felice ehrencrona #sara eriksson #august young royals #kristina young royals #a great deal of me rambling too much and enjoying it

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