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nonotnolan · 9 months

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The Great Gym Shift

Day 15 of life after the body swapping incident that affected downtown Washington DC, and life was still weird as shit. Some people were calling it the Great Shift-- a government cover-up for a science experiment gone wrong. I don’t think a two mile radius really deserves a “Great” moniker but I had to admit it was catchy. Others were calling it a terrorist bioweapon meant to cause havoc across the nation’s government. That did seem possible, but the terrorists had terrible aim if that was the case.

A few people even said it was a plan to put key politicians into younger, healthier bodies, but... I know for a fact that one isn’t true. I was there at ground zero when the swap occurred, working as a personal trainer at the gym. All those desirable bodies, mine included, went to some of the most pathetic white collar workers you could imagine. Whatever happened, it was definitely an accident.

It’s been a month, and I still haven’t gotten used to my reflection. I hope I never do, to be honest. The government is working on getting this whole mess resolved, and I can only hope it will be sooner rather than later. I’ve never had hair this long, and I am in desperate need a of a haircut. Since it’s not my body, I’d have to fill out a requisition form, and I keep hoping it won’t come to that.

One of the first things the Government did was send in the National Guard to put everyone affected into a quarantined hotel area, and then they started drowning us in regulations and paperwork. I’m still working as a personal trainer... only now most of my clients are lazy office drones. Those desirable bodies I mentioned? I’m in charge of making sure their new owners keep them in shape. I’m slowly losing my sanity.

“Mitch! What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” I said, walking out into our shared kitchen. Uncle Sam was putting us up in some very nice accommodations, I had to admit, but my clients-turned-roommates left a lot to be desired.

“C’mon Grady, it’s Saturday,” he said, as if that was supposed to be an answer. I kept starting at him until he continued. “Saturday is my self-care day, and today that means Netflix and cookies. I don’t see what the big deal is...”

“Absolutely not,” I said, holding out my hand. “Give me those, that is way too many calories for one serving. We’re sharing those with the whole floor.” He rolled his eyes and sighed at me, but at least he obeyed me. I can’t help but feel self-conscious bossing all of these men around, especially when they’re large enough to beat me to a pulp if they knew how to leverage their strength. The real Mitch was a lanky college intern who had no idea how to build or maintain muscle mass. Russ would’ve had a heart attack if he was here to see even half the things Mitch wanted to do in that body.

As I walked the plate of cookies out to the common area, I couldn’t help but notice that Larry was still sitting at his room’s computer desk, shirtless and surrounded by a few wadded tissues. Gross, but... I’ve seen Larry’s old body. I can’t entirely blame the old pervert. “Please tell me you didn’t stay up all night watching porn again.”

He just smiled at me, his bloodshot eyes telling me everything that I needed to know. “So what if I did, Grady, it’s Saturday. The fitness schedule you made for me says I don’t have to work out today, and a sleep schedule isn’t a part of the body cohabitation contract we all signed. As long as I still eat three healthy meals today, you can’t make me do anything. So how about giving me some privacy?” He was right, of course. Larry was one of my most frustrating clients, because he knew exactly how to do the bare minimum and nothing more. Tana was one of the gym’s biggest over-achievers, so seeing his body do a complete 180 had been quite the adjustment.

I knew better than to engage with him right now-- better to save my strength for fights that I would be able to win. I set the cookies down in our shared kitchen, waved at a few of the other guys, and retreated back to the bedroom I shared with one other man.

Simon smiled at me, and I could feel my frustrations starting to lift away. “Good morning, Grady. Rough start?” he asked, looking up from his book. Simon was a licensed psychologist who happened to be at a nearby Industry Convention when the Great Shift happened, and I was so glad to have his assistance dealing with all of the heated emotions that boiled over during the aftermath. Furthermore, Simon had ended up in my body. It was a relief to know that my body was being controlled by someone responsible, even if seeing myself each day came with its own set of weird situations.

"You have no idea,” I said, shaking my head. “Or rather, you have an exact idea, because you’ve also had to deal with those guys. I don’t suppose you would be up for some... stress release?” I asked, peeling off my tank top and tossing it onto the floor.

He laughed, quickly setting aside his book and his glasses. “In this body? Always!” Was it weird that I was having sex with my own body? Maybe, but honestly, our daily hookups felt like one of the least weird things about this whole mess. I always knew I was an attractive man, and I’ve always been attracted to anyone who keeps themselves healthy, regardless of gender. Presumably that’s how Simon now felt-- I know that ever since I’ve been in this new Twink body, I have only felt attraction for hairy men. Sexual attraction seemed to follow the body, not the inhabitant.

“Do you ever worry that we’re complicating things?” Simon asked. “For whenever the government is able to switch everyone back into the right bodies, I mean. They’ve told our loved ones that we’re in quarantine, but... how can we go back to normal life when this is all over?” I understood where he was coming from-- his real body was at least twenty years older, and while he didn’t like sharing too much about his life, I’d gotten the impression he had a wife and maybe a few grandkids waiting for him back home.

Simon clearly had a tendency to overthink everything, and I was now used to offering friendly advice while his warm load was still inside of me. “Honestly, I think we’re dealing with a stressful situation, and we’re all just coping however we can. There’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex. And I don’t know about you, but... if I didn’t try to get a wide range of experiences inside of this temporary body, I think I’d regret the missed opportunity forever.”

He smiled at me. “I suppose you’re right,” he said, as he sipped on cheap hotel coffee. “’In sickness or in health’ wasn’t really meant to cover something so impossible. And I’d rather seek forgiveness than forever ponder what might have been.”

“Glad to hear it,” I said, smiling back at him. I think we both knew it was a bit selfish, but how else could we be expected to process these strange new desires? Yeah, I guess I felt a bit guilty having sex with someone other than my girlfriend back home, but... when else would I ever get an opportunity to have sex with myself? I don’t think there is a person alive who could blame me.

#male body swap #gay body swap #after the swap #muscle jock #great shift

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alwaysxlarrie · 1 year

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50 feel good fics for sad/bad days

alright sooo i meant to post this a while ago but life got in the way so here it finally is!! considering recent....news, maybe it was just a blessing in disguise & the universe had me wait until we really needed some feel good fics. i had a lot to recommend, but instead of making a list that was 545311 miles long, i’m gonna split it into two parts. so here’s part 1! happy (belated) valentine’s day (especially to @lemonade-soul -- hope you enjoy this now that it’s finally here lol) !!!!!

the order: alphabetical !

5 golden rules by ladidah (4k)

look our mans harry is just out here trying his best and ya know what? louis is obsessed with it and him and i am obsessed with them and this fic

you smile like the sun by softspoken (1k)

i simply do not think i could explain how cute this fic is so i just need you to read it and then you’ll understand

a+ for effort by embro (7k)

look me in the eye and tell me that nervous harry, protective/supportive louis, shy flirting n banter on harry’s part n innuendos and obvious flirting on louis’ part, and both of them being teachers doesn’t sound amazing to you

all i need is oxygen (and you) by @lululawrence / lululawrence (11k)

sus writes the cutest slow burns that always leave a smile on your face. harry pining over louis & louis weaseling his way into harry’s life ??? does it get any better ???

anybody have a map? by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2 (13k)

the way melanie writes louis’ internal monologue but also just dialogue in general is so *french kiss*. i adore her fics!!!

ain’t that a kick in the head! by keysmashlesbian & @karasunonolibero (22k)

this is such a funny fic but it’s also so cute i could read it 3823748 times and not get bored

all your mates are here by @londonfoginacup / ladylondonderry (36k)

have you been looking for a lovely crack abo lite fic set during christmas? if so, you’ve come to the right place! here she is!

as golden as the coast by softandslow (12k)

the visualizations & descriptions & relationship dynamics written in this are so cute and pure. captain niall always wins baby !!!

back to seventeen by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory (26k)

listen, when i say i have a thing for harry crushing on louis before they even interact in the fic, i mean it. this is such a cute and sexy take on childhood crush to lovers. i’ve said it once & i’ll say it again -- i adore the way nicole writes their dynamic & you will too!!

baby thinking of you keeps me up at night by ballsdeepinjesus (9k)

something about the way louis goes from condescending & over it in every way in regards to harry to just like fully in it and infatuated w him soothes my soul sm. and the way harry’s just there, ready for him like ‘oh fuck yeah lets goooo’. i’m obsessed. plus it’s got thigh fucking and we love thigh fucking

breathless for an eternity by cabinbythesea (7k)

i mean ok listen this is essentially mostly just porn w some plot but!!! i adore larry’s’ dynamic and the way you can tell that they clearly have an instant connection and that they care about each other and are so supportive to each other and i just ugh. such a good fic.

charm your pants off by @evilovesyou / 4ureyesonly28 (2k)

look louis just wants to take a cute patient on a date and who can blame him???

darling, can’t you see by @tommokat / tommokat (11k)

this!! fic!! is!! so!! cute!! the way louis & harry’s relationship changes and develops throughout the fic is so heartwarming and cute and the smut at the end???? andi very pleasantly surprised me w the smut and i am so happy about it

everywhere and nowhere by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2 (16k)

the way harry courts louis & wins him over is so cute!!! once again, i love how mel writes out their relationships, the banter, the internal monologues, etc. would def recommend

freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this by @rosesau / rosesau (5k)

niall truly takes one for the team in honor of harry’s infatuation constantly like the good bff he is and you know what? it lands him a no-longer-moping harry and a new bff louis. the way that as soon as they have a bridge to get to each other, larry become inseparable is truly *chef’s kiss*

found my hallelujah by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory (34k)

if you were wondering, no i will not shut up about this fic ever. there is some angst in this, but i’d say it’s more hurt/comfort overall than anything. right off the bat, harry & louis are enamored w each other & it’s so cute n lovely (look nicole all i’m saying is that i would pay such good money for a part 2 lemme tell u. speaking of which, i actually just realized that i think i left this comment almost word for word on the fic LMAO)

give a little sing to the singles by @londonfoginacup / ladylondonderry (31k)

look i’m obsessed with emmu’s advent calendar fics & what about it ???? the crack is just written so well while still keeping things realistic and i love seeing harry’s relationship w everyone change & develop as the story goes. not to mention niall’s plotline?? and the ending??? where’s that lady gaga gif when you need it??

gorgeous (it makes me so mad) by @artxghoul / resurrectdead (29k)

i have raved about this fic before & i will continue to rave about it!! no one can stop me!! i adore how cracky but still cute and sweet and hot and wonderful it is from the moment larry meet until the very end it’s got the best vibes. the plot twist at the end makes it 10x better too.

i made a map of your stars by @brightbluelou / brightbluelou (5k)

not only is this a super adorable popular louis worms his way into shy harry’s life, i think it’s also a lovely fic that touches on making friends who accept you and help you feel comfortable when you’ve got anxiety. it’s such a cute lil fic and i adore it

i’ll be there by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 (5k)

as you may have guessed, enemies to lovers can make me a bit wary. but i trust anitra so i read this anyway (i may or may not have read this before we became friends but that is neither here nor there thank u) and i’m so glad i did!!! it’s so cute n cracky n i adore it n their relationship development

i’ve been thinking ‘bout it all day by @kingonafiftymetreroad / lsforever (7k)

she’s a slow burn (techincally. or i’m just impatient. but who’s to say honestly), but she’s so cute. i know i keep saying it about these fics, but the way larry’s dynamic is written!!!!! larry’s friendship is so cute that you really don’t even notice until they cross the line to more than friends and you’re like ‘oh hell yeah, here we go!’

just one look (and i fell so hard) by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface (15k)

the way louis is just so protective & supportive of harry & their dynamic comes so easily is adorable & like watching a flower bloom. i love this fic sm

just jump by @jaerie / jaerie (9k)

louis helping harry come out of his shell is so cute n sexy at the same time ugh we love to see it

kiss from a rose by @chloehl10 / lovelarry10 (15k)

shy, anxious harry getting secret admirer notes??? louis being a cute lil soft bean with him????? i cry, i really truly do

knock knock, i love you by beautlouis (86k)

if you’re interested in ~90k words worth of fluff & larry falling in love, read this asap immediately!!!

late night talking by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (53k)

lauren knows how i feel about this fic bc i gave her live commentary unprovoked, but like??? it’s so good??? i told her that i think louis is sneak dating harry and she didn’t confirm this but she didn’t deny it either, sooooo. it’s the theory i’m going with hehe. flirty louis and cautious yet yearning harry are written so well. this also appreciates the ‘hey babe’ lyric from written all over your face in the way that it was simply meant to be appreciated.

let our hearts collide by @crinkle-eyed-boo / crinkle-eyed-boo (76k)

ok!!!!! listen!!!! i’m not saying she’s not angsty, b u t !!!! this shit is so good. you’re guaranteed to leave with a smile. kim does such a good job of creating & developing louis and harry’s relationship while (sometimes to my dismay) remembering to also keep up liam & harry’s relationship for as long as it’s necessary LMAO. but it’s just such a lovely, heartwarming fic that makes any tears it might also produce so worth it

lazy days and pancakes for two by @cyantific / cyantific (4k)

ugh this fic is so cute. when i betaed it, my heart was constantly melting at the fluff and i was constantly giggling bc of the banter & humor incorporated. it’s just so sweet and gives you such a realistic vision into what their irl daily life on days off might be like i cry

midnight memories by grand buzz (2k)

i would cry if there were a sequel to this. the author does such a good job at giving you a visual of harry being endeared yet exasperated with louis and louis being unapologetically mischievous as well and i’m here for it !!

masterpiece by rainbowslovehl (11k)

ok so, like. take fetus x factor larry’s dynamic of harry quite literally chasing after louis and just hoping to impress him with every breath he takes but just like. with grown adults. that is larry’s dynamic in this fic and i am telling u, it’s so good and cute and funny and read it asap pls

may we all have a vision now and again by @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity (4k)

the best way i can describe this fic is bittersweet, but in the best way. louis can and will make harry feel unprecedented emotions in any & every universe

make him want to sin @becomeawendybird / quickedween (9k)

i mean, harry immediately infatuated and louis immediately being flirty? am i nothing if not predictable? there are some plot twists as well! well. for harry at least. the reader has hindsight 20/20 hehe. i’m also obsessed w the dynamic at the table.

my saddle’s waiting by realitybetterthanfiction (28k)

listen, this fic has a special place in my heart bc it’s based in chicago yes, sure bUT the character & relationship developments that take place throughout the whole thing is phenomenal. i think the subtle things in this fic really make it so captivating

nothing but a little bit of love by cabinbythesea (7k)

this says it’s not rated but it gets quite steamyyy at some points. but i’m just a sucker for louis chasing and seducing harry and showering him with love and that’s quite literally what this is and we do absolutely love to see it

our lives, non-fiction by @indiaalphawhiskey / indiaalphawhiskey (113k)

ok look, there is actually a decent amount of angst in this, but imo it’s v much hurt/comfort as well. the way india writes smut & dirty talk??? *french kiss* but even more than that, the character development, relationship development?? how louis & marcel support each other once they find even ground??? this fic will leave you w a smile and some tears to go w it and i’m obsessed. it’s on the longer end, but so worth it (i am in fact doing a fic rec list on long fics bc it’s me and who am i if i don’t continue to make fic rec lists in 2023???)

packed lunches, sticky fingers, and accidental levitation by @londonfoginacup / ladylondonderry (10k)

this has such phenomenal writing & like idk if this was intended to be read like a crack fic but it’s got such crack fic enegy and i’m obsessed w that. it’s also such a fucking creative fic it’s actually kinda mindblowing imo

promise not to fade away by you_explode (9k)

one thing i love about this fic is that it could’ve very easily been incredibly angsty and a slow burn. but instead the author decided to have mercy on us and make it short, fluffy, and sweet. and threw in some hot smut as well. it’s just so soft and wonderful and i’m so ?? i think this is one of the first fics i ever read from this fandom & it’s never left my mind since

ready to fall by @crazyupsetter / whoknows (21k)

this is the perfect combo of crack x serious/sweet imo. who is louis if not sneaky, mischievous & a tease and who is harry if not infatuated w louis, persistent & accommodating?? a wonderful pair, we love to see it. obsessed !

stars will align for us by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2

since mel mostly writes omega louis (& phenomenally at that!) you better believe i savor the absolute shit out of this omega harry fic. just the way louis does his best to protect harry and weasels his way into harry’s life while he always maes sure he’s okay and that harry knows he enjoys spending time with him and i just ???? my heart melts everytime i read it

stood up by panda_bear21 (8k)

listen i have a thing for punk louis & harry already crushing on louis before they interact during a fic (i blame the way fetus harry was so obviously obsessed w louis for this) and this fic has both of those things. there is some light angst & mentioning of closeting, but the fluff so v much outweighs it.

staring across the room by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 (26k)

harold thinks he can resist the charms of louis tomlinson but really ... he should know better than that. this fic is so cute, sweet, and the sequel???? my heart!!!! this fic has my heart through n through n through

‘sup by @mediawhorefics / mediawhore (6k)

i! love! larry’s! dynamic! in! this! especially when harry puts his foot in his mouth and louis chases him down and is like ‘yeah, no. we’re gonna talk, darling.’ i cry and i laugh. sidenote: louis saying ‘sit your ass down’ is everything to me

single bells ring by @absoloutenonsense / nonsensedarling (16k)

i love this non-traditional abo take !!! the way louis’ attitude changes the second he lays eyes on / talks to harry is the funniest and cutest thing. louis is so mischievous and harry is so coy and the lil plot twist at the end wins you over without a doubt

tell me what you need by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface (2k)

listen. we have mischievously flirting louis. we have always-puts-a-foot-in-his-mouth-but-still-manages-to-endear-louis-anyway harry. we truly do love to see it!

the first time i ever saw your face by sweetrevenge (5k)

this has such a cute plot twist that i didn’t see coming, but adored! this is essentially just harry swooning over louis & honestly?? who can blame him??? not me!!!

when did i first know? i always knew by @panye / eynap (7k)

stephanie works hard at producing fine shiall content and i am here to recommend her lovely work to you. we’ve got larry, we’ve got ziam, we’ve got romance, we’ve got a proposal, we’ve got smut. what more could you ask for??? read it. appreciate it. love it.

why’d you come in here looking like that? by @homosociallyyours / homosociallyyours (7k)

i’m someone who doesn’t love it when miscommunication is a plot device so i love that megan had them talk out any confusion that, let’s be honest, can very easily happen when online dating. but the cute, awkward flirting and banter is so good. i love this fic from how soft louis is with marcel at the end and the way louis asks him out as well ???? my heart !!!!

we’re watching a television with no sound by orphan account (2k)

harry and louis’ immediate connection is so sweet and cute. just like the way they’re so tactile and comfortable w each other within minutes of meeting & you can feel the fond so strongly is just *chef’s kiss* honesty. i reread this fic like monthly, if not bi-weekly.

you’ve been taking up my mind by styleandsin (10k)

fanboy!harry/famous!louis ?? on a recommended list of mine ?? who’s shocked ?? absolutely no one. i love the premise of this fic and how their relationship/dynamic changes n develops quickly but in a way that doesn’t actually feel too fast -- just like irl tbh

young hearts on the chase by @polaroidlouis / daffodilsforlou (7k)

i love the spin that this has where the omega does the courting. the way louis just .... lets harry weasel his way into louis’ daily routine is top tier. they’re so soft and fluffy w each other it’s just so cute pls read this thnak u

please remember to leave kudos & comments on any of the fics that you read and/or enjoy!!!!

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dezznuggz · 3 months

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LTLVC WINS $50,000

The groupchat × reader insert

~This will basically be about LTLVC YouTube vid part 4 and how the reader reacts to each groupchat member's elimination.

•(DO NOT READ IF U HAVE NOT SEEN THE VID YET, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!) There will be use of y/n, reader will go by she/her(sorry) this is my first time so tell me if anything's wrong and pls give me requests. Don't be a silent reader and plz give request...enjoy

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NICK'S ELIMINATION:

We are about a million hours into the challenge and everyone is doing good so far, or that's atleast what they're trying to show. I'm also trying to act off as if I'm not tired by moving around and talking alot. Right now I'm currently eating hot fries while swinging from side to side in my chair. We just finished doing lights off and during lights off I felt like I was losing it mostly when tanner danced as a floating shirt and having nick get mad at us for not being able to be quiet for 5 mins (I was the main person being loud)

"tanner are u still there?" Isaac asks since tanners been quiet, "yea I'm still here, I'm watching the Simpsons look!" Tanner says as he shows us his phone where he was literally watching the Simpsons on Twitter. "Nick?" Isaac moves on to asking Nick since he looks a little too asleep. "Mmm" nick responds to Isaac since he's too sleepy to even respond correctly. "Bro ur barely awake" Isaac tells Nick since he can practically see Nick having on from just a thread, "no I'm just keeping my eyes closed, I'm listening to y'all's conversation.." nick says with his eyes still closed, "bro your actually kidding there's no way your getting sleepy this early its ridiculous" I say to nick cause honestly it is outrageous, "im not sleepy im just bored since im sitting here doing nothing and im fucking cold!" Nick says slightly irritated for being accused of sleeping.

A little bit of time goes by, I'm watching YouTube videos to keep myself entertained, everyone else is talking to each other about God knows what then grunk makes a statement on how Nick looks like Eminem so I take a look at my discord and see Nick with his head down with his hood on. Everyone starts making comments on how he's asleep, then we all turn silent and start whispering to see if Nick responds then suddenly we hear him snoring and all of us practically freak out quietly. "Nick if you don't respond in 10 seconds then I'll remove you for falling asleep first 4 times in a row" Isaac says while whispering. "This is embarrassing" I say very quietly.

10.9.8.7.6.5.4.3.2.1.0...

Isaac then removes nick from the call and all of us were honestly shocked for Nick to fall asleep and get eliminated that early. "Did anyone's else's heart rate like start going up cause mine did" Larry says equally as shocked as everyone, "dude there's actually no way he got out this early, he actually wanted to stay for a long time bro I feel bad" I say since Nick was talking non stop how this year was his year. "That's a new record" tanner says while laughing, "Isaac you have to make the tweet, one down" Larry tells Isaac with tanner still laughing in the back. "He really didn't want to get out yet" yumi says while still shocked, "yea he didn't even get to play lethal company with us" yumi says. Then Larry and Yumi start acting like Nick when he said he wasn't asleep. "He's going to be so mad" I say already knowing how Nick is, "he's probably still asleep bro" grunk says. Nick then joins the call again seeming a little more awake, "hey man wassup" grunk says to nick, then Nick starts talking about how he just had his head down. "Dude you were just sleeping and snoring away" I say and tanner laughs, "you did this to yourself, why'd you do this to yourself, you chose the most comfortable position to sleep in". "You get in the most coziest spots". "Why do you get in the most coziest spots like come on", me, tanner, and grunk start shaming on Nick for practically self sabotaging himself. Nick then says his final goodbyes before leaving the call to sleep while we still have to stay for $50,000.

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GRUNK'S ELIMINATION:

I don't even know how long we've been awake and I don't even remember how long ago yesterday was. After Nick left we had some surprising guests like Santa (who said I was on the naughty list for always being loud and screaming at the boys), and Nick also joined back to the call for a little bit, which we terrorized him for eating almost a dozen donuts. We are doing lights off right now and Larry has a special challenge for us called the black market challenge that he had planned since last year. For the black market challenge we had to listen to men whimpering for SIX WHOLE MINUTES. "That was like cross my heart and hope to die send me to hell now God challenge!" Yumi says after being fully annoyed by the whimper audio, "I'm never participating in the black market challenge ever again" I say after being traumatized, "I'm not gonna lie but that did not feel like 6 minutes, that felt like an hour" tanner says while laughing.

"well I'm going to bed dude, I have to prepare for exams tomorrow" grunk says while sounding sleepy and also a little bit sad. "That's a very mature thing to do grunk, I'm proud of you" I say so grunk doesn't feel fully disappointed in himself for giving up on $50k. Larry then makes a statement on how grunk was a good soldier while Yumi flashbangs himself multiple times while smiling like an insane person. Grunk then explains how he knew he wouldn't have been able to win after hearing Yumi being fully committed to the challenge. "You know what this as a message for everyone to never let a last to leave vc ruin your college" everyone laughs at what I said. "Yes, yes I know but next year imma clear my schedule" grunk says. Everyone says their goodbyes to grunk as he fist bumps his camera and leaves.

"this call looks empty dude" Yumi says as now seeing how far he came, "I'm watching AI Santa clause" tanner says out of the blue "what???" I say while laughing. "Dude I feel bad, ISAAC WHAT THE HELL!" I scream at Isaac, "what did I do?!!" Isaac replies back confused, "I don't know I just need to argue to keep me awake" I say while talking in a much lower and calmer way. "Now I see why you got put on the naughty list" yumi says, I then look at the camera shocked and jokingly hurt, "alright you know what then I'm gonna leave the call" I say while closing my eyes to make it more believable that I'm going to quit, "NO ACTUALLY DONT!" Yumi screams at me to "wake" me up, "yeah that's what I thought keep that same energy" I say and I go back to my phone while Isaac laughs.

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TANNER'S ELIMINATION:

I didn't even bother to keep track of time anymore, at this point I'm army crawling my way to stay awake. Yumi is talking to me but I'm mostly responding to him in a mumbling way or in a short way. Larry takes notice that I'm getting sleepy so he also starts talking to me while trying to make me laugh but as Larry tries talking to me, Yumi ends up being the one responding to Larry while I just zone out and contemplate life. I soon see tanner walk off somewhere to the right but I don't think much of it cause of all people, he's the main one that keeps moving around. "y/n, you good?" Isaac asks me as he sees me being quiet, "I'm straight, I'm Gucci, I'm pure, I'm at my finest right now, if you ask me how good I am right now id tell you I'm good" I say rambling and mumbling on words, "what?!?!" Larry says while laughing at how drained I am right now. "Y/n you can not fall asleep right now! I'm not ready! I'm not there yet!" Yumi yells at me knowing that if I fall asleep then he's gonna want to leave the call. "Woah who said I was falling asleep, did u not just hear how fucking fresh I am right now" I say no longer mumbling, "where's tanner?" Isaac asks, "I think he went to the bathroom I don't know" Larry answers Isaac's question and we continue talking about how Isaac's dad was practically giving us a little nap break, "no cause I remember when I got eliminated the first time, I was going to play it off as a joke" Larry says while trying to keep himself awake, "dude I remember that, I felt so bad but it was so funny" I say while laughing a little. "It's like when you're in class and your feet fall" Yumi says as he acts as if he fell over but got woken up in class, "exactly like that then you gotta check to see what everyone else is doing and they're all reading" I say while laughing starting to get a little more energized. "Is tanner still in the bathroom?" Isaac asks but no one really answers him but instead Yumi makes a new conversation about his PC being bipolar or something.

We then all hear a phone ring and we go quiet, "who are you calling?" I asked the question that Larry and Yumi wanted to ask, "are y'all 100% sure that tanners in the bathroom?" Isaac asks while being a little bit suspicious. "I heard him say he was going to the bathroom". "I didn't hear him say he was going to the bathroom" Yumi and Larry say almost at the same time, "when tanner says he's going to the bathroom, we don't know" laughing a little Knowing that tanner would do something dumb like that. "Imma head downstairs to get a bowl of cereal, you want me to check in tanners room?" I ask Isaac, "yea can you do that please thank you" Isaac responds to me and I head out of my room. I walk into tanners room and although it's dark I can still see the big dark figure laying on tanners bed that so happens to be tanner himself, I let out a quiet giggle and I walk over to his PC. I bring his mic close to my mouth "he's laying on his bed playing angry birds" I say very quietly and I let out a breathy laugh, I then go to tanners bed and I take a picture, after the picture I take his phone and show Yumi and tanner that I have his phone, "he's knocked out cold, he's dead asleep, he's out dude" I say before having tanner leave the call.

I got my bowl of cereal and I walked back into my room to still hear Yumi, Larry, and Isaac talking about tanners elimination, "wait y/n did you take a picture?" Isaac asks me, "oh yeah let me send it to y'all" I say while laughing a little while still remembering how tanner looked while asleep. "No yea I walk in there and he's fucking asleep, I didn't get a good picture of it tho but he only has 2 stars on every level" I say to the people that are still left in the call, "wait what I thought you get 3 stars automatically if you complete the level" Yumi says a little shocked on how much of a noob tanner is at angry birds. "Alright new challenge y/n, we listen to lullaby music while watching the herds till we fall asleep" Larry says while chuckling, "we get tucked in, a binky, and a warm glass of milk" Yumi butts in, "alright I'm down" I say while being sleep deprived.

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LARRY'S ELIMINATION:

I'm already sleep deprived and at this point I'm finding everything funny for some reason and it doesn't make it better when Yumi won't stop talking about something dumb. "What's up with my lighting? What are you talking about? Are you jealous? Are you jealous cause you're poor? Oh you're not gonna get the 50k to help you buy it cause you're poor and you're gonna just stay poor" Yumi rambling to Larry about his lighting and I keep just keeping laughing at absolutely nothing, "oh yeah well you're so rich-" Larry cuts himself off from laughing, "y/n what are you laughing about?!!?" Larry asks while also laughing at me laughing about nothing. "Dude they're both at their breaking point" Isaac says while watching both Larry and I laugh non stop, "they're both losing it" Yumi adds on to what Isaac said.

Isaac then starts asking me why girls like thongs, "dude i don't know I haven't worn those in like ages" I say while calming down from laughing, "she hasn't worn a thong since 100 B.C" Larry says while laughing which caused me to laugh again. "No dude they just feel it different then what we feel" Yumi says but then quickly adds on how Isaac is gay for even thinking that, "no for real tho I think it has something to do with preventing less sweat and not to show our pantie lines" I say while still laughing a little, "oh no yea that too, girls don't like to show their pantie lines, yea I said that" Yumi says..."You did not say anything close to that" Isaac says. Isaac and Yumi start talking about whatever and I just kept zoning out to the point that I was falling asleep so I sat up straight and tried butting into their conversation to hopefully wake me up. "Isaac wake Larry up right now. There's no way he's sleeping, start the count down dude wake him up" Yumi says to Isaac while Isaac tries asking Larry what cuervo meant and he got no response. "No Larry better not be asleep I swear to god-" I say but got cut off by Isaac "wait wait okay 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,0" Isaac counts down in a very unenthusiastic way. "KICK HIM! KICK HIM NOW!" Yumi yells at Isaac, who still gave Larry more time to wake up just in case he was trolling, "No dude they got Larry" I say fake crying as if he died. Larry then joins back after Yumi finishes his little celebration for being apart of the last 2, "dude what the fuck happened" I say to Larry, "no here's the thing- oh my God my heart is fucking beating fast!" Larry says and then he explains how him getting eliminated felt unreal and that he's not gonna be a sore loser about it which caused Yumi to compliment Larry for being a good teammate. "Bye Larry cheer for me in your dreams, imma win this for you" I say to Larry before Larry jokingly blows a girly kiss and wave at his camera then leaving.

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THE FINAL 2:

It was just me, Yumi, and Isaac and we were both over it. My strategy simply didn't work but instead back fired at me. I was supposed to talk and argue with everyone so I can stay awake but instead I ended up zoning out almost halfway through which caused me to become even sleepier. "Isaac if you paid me $5000 right now, I'll leave" I say as I'm trying to leave the call with atleast a little bit of money, "no absolutely not" Isaac says while being completely over everything going on, "okay how about $5,000.50¢?" I say still trying to leave the call with just a little bit of money, "ooo you know what that's a good deal I would take it" Yumi agrees with me, "what no, you guys do realize that I have to give the winner 50k while also paying the loser 5k?" Isaac says trying to reason with me and Yumi but we still don't seem to get it and Isaac just gets frustrated.

"on the scale from 1-10 how sleepy are you Yumi?" Isaac asks Yumi so that he too can stay awake, "I would say, I would say, I would say, I don't know, id probably say-". "DUDE WHATS YOUR SCALE AT RIGHT NOW??!!" I scream at Yumi cause him not comprehending is causing me to not comprehend either. "I don't know id say I'm in another planet but I'm not sleepy, like I'm in another planet that higher and better than y'all's planet" Yumi says and it goes silent, "...imma be honest with you, for someone that says they on another planet, you don't look like you're on another planet right now?" I say while laughing a little which caused Yumi to laugh, "no cause y/n laughs at her own jokes" Yumi says while laughing, "honestly if y/n could date herself she would, wouldn't you y/n?" Isaac asks "if I could fuck myself I would trust me" I say without a single thought in my brain and all Isaac and Yumi did was laugh.

"okay one of y'all has to be on the verge to quit and I'm taking a bet that it's y/n" Isaac says in hopes of riling y/n up so she can stay awake, "how'd you know, Isaac's so smart, you're a smart guy Isaac" I say in a sarcastic tone cause I am on the verge of quiting, "Isaac you know y/n got invited to a Christmas party yesterday" Yumi says since isaac conversation plan didn't work out, "YEAHHHHHH" i say in a very cheer tone, "you're going for the food aren't you?" Isaac says, "yeah" I say back to my calm self while looking at my phone and Yumi laughs.

I'm looking at my phone and my mouth literally hangs open and my head starts feeling like 50 pounds so I nod off for a little bit since Yumi and Isaac are talking so a couple seconds of sleep wouldn't hurt. I feel relaxed, I feel better, I feel fresh, I feel happy, I feel...wait...why's everything quiet? I open my eyes to see my PC on the general chat and my heart completely falls to my ass. I panic and I see that Isaac and Yumi are still in the call so I quickly join. "Y/N WHAT HAPPENED?!!??" Isaac screams in my ear and I'm still shocked like I don't even know what's going on, "dude I swear I wasn't even asleep!" I say as I have a shocked face the whole time and no longer feeling sleepy, "I was actually rooting for you y/n, I'm so disappointed" Isaac says while Yumi cheers and laughs. "IM JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ISAAC WHAT THE FUCKKK" I say also disappointed in myself cause I came so far and I never won any of the LTLVC, I thought this year was also going to be my year. Yumi and I have calmed down but Yumi is still chatty and hyped up at the fact that he won $50,000, "Isaac...am I still gonna get the $5,000.50¢?" I ask politely, "no get the fuck out the call, congrats on winning Yumi, imma go to sleep leave me alone" Isaac says as he disconnects me and Yumi and I headed to sleep Knowing that I could've won half a million.

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#the group chat x reader #softwilly x reader #yumi × reader #isaacwhy x reader #tanner × reader #the group chat #the groupchat podcast #larry × reader #ltlvc #first post #give request

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princess-leaorgana · 4 days

Text

What Tieflings Do Chpt. 3

Summary: After the takedown of The Absolute, Zelphie finds her city in need of more help and her home destroyed. She won't stop helping, but who can help her?

Rolan x Tav (Zelphie; ~30y.o AFAB, Sorcerer, Tiefling, not really described physically on purpose <3)

M/F

Author's Note: I fucking love tielfings. Along with this being a budding romance/smut/fluff/word vomit fanfiction, it's also my case study in DnD 5e tieflings, how they act, what sets them apart from humans and devils and elves. That being said, I have a few artistic liberties in here as well where I couldn't find a straight answer, if you'll amuse me.

Warnings - Spoilers for Baldur's Gate 3, alcohol consumption. This bad Larry is another fluff. Don't worry! Also, if you catch the easter egg in this one I'll give you one lil forehead smooch.

Chapter One Chapter Two

One tenday spent in the luxurious wizard’s tower in Baldur’s Gate. The shop was still a little chaotic, but it was open for business and Rolan was hiring out for help. He had Cal and Lia and Zelphie, of course, but Cal and Lia and Zelphie were not learned spellcasters. Zelphie had the best understanding of the Weave, but she couldn’t understand conjuring the Weave manually. Rolan would attempt to spend time with her, teaching her how to read scrolls and tomes, but she was absolutely useless. And during their private lessons, Zelphie was usually very distracted with her strongly budding feelings for her teacher. That absolutely destroyed her concentration. Nothing had yet happened down that road, and it had almost been too long for Zelphie to feel comfortable bringing it up. She left the siblings that day to head out into the city. She had a few things to sell and was in the market for a redecoration for her room. Larroakan’s taste was high class but cold and dark. The room was beautiful, but it needed more love. She hadn’t done anything about it until then as she still had a gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that she wasn’t to stay with the siblings. She would get an occupation of her own and allow the family to be one again. It didn’t seem like that was going to happen. Lia would scold her if she ever brought it up.

Old potions and elixirs and small trinkets she had picked up on the road were sold quickly for decent coin. Anything she had that was impressive she donated to Sorcerer’s Sundries to either use or sell. Rolan fought with her on that, but she insisted it being a complimentary rent for now. Rolan still fought with her.

The streets were still a mess, but a livable one. People were back to life a little. It wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t apocalyptic. After a decent amount of shopping and many compliments from people who recognized her on the street, she headed for some lunch. She hadn’t seen any of the other tieflings since the battle, and she was very ready to see some happy and familiar faces. Lakrissa, an absolute menace of a thief, had gotten a job at The Elfsong Tavern, the nicest spot in the whole city for a pint and relaxation. Zelphie was very excited to see if her friend was there today, and if she had time for a drink. Walking past two hired hands at the entrance, she was met with the most people she had seen at the tavern. Good, she didn’t want any more compliments, she just wanted to be a normal patron. As she made her way to the bar, to order from the barkeeper, Alan, Zelphie stopped as she heard her name shouted.

‘Zelphie! The beautiful hellspawn who saved Baldur’s Gate!’ Lakrissa, the little shit. Zelphie’s nose scrunched as attention in the tavern fell on her. She turned her head to see Lakrissa sitting on a patron’s lap of all places and she was looking right at her, her arm raised in the air. Zelphie got a cheer and shook her head, staring at Lakrissa. ‘The person who buys our hero her first round wins also buying a round for me!’ She announced to roaring laughter. Lakrissa hopped off her perch and walked over to Zelphie. ‘There you are, hero,’ she said and Zelphie sighed.

‘Here I am, thank you for the announcement, pity, you used to be my favorite,’ she said and took an empty seat at the bar. Lakrissa laughed at her. Alan walked over with a glass full of ice and an amber liquid. ‘Hello Alan,’ she greeted the bartender and she gave her a charming smile.

‘Where’ve you been then? I need you to find me that Minsc fellow. Rented a room here after you all left and started fighting for coin in there. He owes me,’ he said and Zelphie laughed.

‘I wish I could say I bear responsibility for Minsc, but I’ll do my best to settle his debt,’ she said and smirked.

‘So, how IS your favorite, hm? Heard you got a room at the wizard’s tower,’ Lakrissa said, sitting next to Zelphie. Zelphie turned back to Lakrissa.

‘I got very lucky, Lia caught me while I was wandering the streets like a tom cat. I could barely stand. My place was absolutely decimated, I’m surprised the tavern is still around,’ she said and took a sip of her drink. Rum. She hissed and looked up at Alan. ‘It’s barely after breakfast,’ she said and Alan just grinned.

‘You are very welcome,’ he said and walked off to help another patron.

‘Come on, tell me, tell me,’ Lakrissa said and shook Zelphie’s leg. She took another sip and laughed.

‘What is there to tell? It’s not like before I wasn’t constantly on the move. I have a big beautiful comfortable bed to sleep in with a roof over my head. I get fed three times a day AND I’m bathing every day. I am living the high life,’ she said and Lakrissa shook her head.

‘Yes, that big beautiful bed, whose is it?’ She asked, leaning in. Zelphie leaned in with her, smirking.

‘Mine,’ she answered and Larkissa scoffed.

‘Either you’re a tease or Cal is a liar,’ she said, straightening up. Zelphie knew what Lakrissa was getting at, if involved Cal. Although nothing had really happened between her and Rolan and she would have liked for something to have happened, Cal was not being subtle at home about trying to get the two closer. She would have loved to be closer to Rolan, of course she would have, but she wouldn’t allow her new home to be ruined by those feelings. She would rather have good friends than anything.

‘Cal is a liar, but who said I’m not a tease?’ Zelphie said and Lakrissa laughed.

‘Oh, there she is. Gods I’m glad you are alright,’ she said and Zelphie smiled at her.

‘The feeling mutual,’ she said softly. The rum was getting to her quicker than she would have liked. ‘How is Alfira?’ She asked and Lakrissa smiled.

‘She’s perfectly fine, a little set back with her big plans, what with the total destruction of the city, your fault,’ she said and Zelphie nodded and laughed.

The two caught up and Zelphie was given a second drink and was quickly feeling silly. Lakrissa was forced to end her little break and Zelphie left the tavern, hungry and drunk. She walked very slowly back to the tower. On her way back, a little gray kitten began to follow her home. Zelphie swayed when she knelt down to pick up the little sweet thing.

‘Oh hello you little fella,’ she said and lifted the kitten in her arms. ‘You must be starving, come let’s fill that belly of yours,’ she said, deciding in her drunken state that she would adopt this little kitten. It clung to her with its little claws and Zelphie cooed down at it. ‘Oh aren’t you sweet?’ She said and rubbed the kitten’s chin. She continued to walk to Sorcerer’s Sundries and she moved out of the way of a very upset looking half-orc. She stumbled into the shop happily, her eyes and all attention still on the kitten.

‘There you are, I almost sent a search party out for you,’ Rolan called from the counter and walked over to her happily.

‘Look what I found Rolan!’ She cried happily and held the kitten up. Rolan’s happy face turned to concern as he looked at the little kitten in Zelphie’s hand. ‘He followed me home, isn’t he sweet?’ She asked and Rolan sighed at her, giving the sweet little kitten a pet.

‘Have you been drinking?’ He asked her, not ready to entertain the topic of the kitten until he squared away why her eyes were so sleepy looking and why she was swaying a little.

‘Yes, Lakrissa made me, but I guess she didn’t really because I did it anyway,’ she said with a snicker. ‘Only two rum drinks, but you know me, cheap date,’ she said and giggled and Rolan smirked a little.

‘I don’t know that about you, in fact,’ he said and she giggled.

‘Yes, because you’ve never taken me on a date,’ she said and poked him in the chest. She was plastered.

‘Alright, alright, up to bed with you, come now,’ he said, escorting her upstairs.

‘I said I was a cheap date, not an easy one,’ she said and barked out a laugh. She leaned on Rolan and held the little kitten close to her. Rolan burned red, but would ignore her. He wrapped an arm around her to keep her upright. She was loving that sensation. She was aware that she was drunk, and as obnoxious as she was, she wouldn’t make him angry. ‘Is it okay that I have a kitten? A little familiar? I can’t have a real one you see, I didn’t go to school,’ she rambled.

‘You’re fine, I’m sure with everything you’ve accomplished a cute kitten wouldn’t be much of a leap in responsibilities.’ He said and Zelphie giggled.

‘You do think he’s cute? Oh good. I always knew you were a cat person. All good people love cats. The real good ones, because dogs are all lovely and good but dogs love you unconditionally. Cats, cats are as smart as people and are choosy, so I say anyone who can get along with a cat is a good person,’ she rambled on and hiccuped. She felt his thumb rub her arm and the warmth and comfort of his touch led her tail to curl around his.

‘Yes, I do think he’s cute,’ Rolan said simply. Zelphie's attention went back to the kitten, who was very happy to be held. Zelphie scratched the little one under his chin. He was a perfectly gray cat with a small tuft of white on his chest. He was going to need a bath.

‘We are going to get you all cleaned up my little one, and we’ll feed your hungry little belly,’ she cooed and stroked the top of the kitten’s head. ‘How has the shop been today, and who was that lady who was leaving the shop so angry when I came in?’ She asked Rolan.

‘Oh, I’m very glad you’ve been off today, the amount of disappointing interviews I’ve had today…’ he said, tutting. He was much more comfortable talking about this sort of thing, others bothering him. ‘The last one, she claimed to be a cleric of Helm. More like a Paladin of Cyric the way she bumbled about. She couldn’t even bring a desert plant back to life. I’m not looking for a prodigy, but if your god doesn’t give you gifts, there is nothing I can do for you,’ he said and chuckled. Zelphie shook her head, Rolan was lying. He would only want the best in his shop. Perfection at the bare minimum. ‘We did find a budding wizard. She’s a bit under motivated, but I’m sure with my teachings she will flourish in no time,’ he told her and Zelphie put on a little pout.

‘Ah, so our lessons are all over? You’ve given up on me?’ She asked him and he looked down at her and laughed at her silly face.

‘Not even a little. I’m going to get you to master prestidigitation one of these days, I promise,’ he told her and she smiled. She hummed and looked back down at the kitten.

‘I’m jealous of your new apprentice, you’re a wonderful teacher,’ she said and Rolan sighed down at her.

‘Oh, do not be jealous. If she doesn’t perform, she’s out. You on the other hand, I’m too stubborn to let you quit,’ he told her and she smiled to herself. Was she jealous of this person she’d never met? A little. Would she keep up whining at Rolan? No. Did she want to? Yes. The pair got to Zelphie’s bedroom and Zelphie walked in, placing the little kitten on her bed.

‘Now, that’s nicer than the streets, isn’t it?’ She asked the little kitten.

‘Did you want help with him? He certainly needs a bath, I’m not even a fan of him being on the bed,’ Rolan said and scooped the kitten back up. Rolan did like cats, which was great for him; the streets of Baldur’s Gate were littered with them. The kitten took to him quickly, purring and rubbed his face hard against Rolan’s hand. Zelphie giggled and removed her bag and outer jacket.

‘I would love some help. And it looks like he loves you Rolan,’ she said and walked over to the pair. ‘Did you have cats growing up?’ She asked and Rolan nodded.

‘Yes, a lot of cats. Mother spoiled me a lot. She called me sensitive. I used to hate it when she referred to me like that. Like I was weak, but I know now what she meant by it,’ he said, still enjoying petting the kitten. ‘She meant that I was sensitive to others. Those smaller or weaker than myself. When someone needed my help,’ he continued and Zelphie’s smile grew.

‘Like me,’ she said softly and Rolan nodded.

‘Yes, you have the exact same instinct as me. You understand people who need help,’ he said and Zelphie shook her head.

‘No, no, I mean, I’m one of those people who needed your help and you gave it so freely,’ she said and walked closer, reaching out to pet the kitten. Rolan looked down at her and raised an eyebrow.

‘It was a privilege to help you, Zelphie. I finally had a way to pay you back for everything you have done for me. And my family,’ he told her honestly. She looked up at him and chewed on her bottom lip a little.

‘And when will this help run out?’ She asked him softly and he raised his eyebrows.

‘I don’t know…’ he whispered after a moment. ‘But when it does, I ask you to help me out once more by continuing to stay here. Because you being here, it’s more…a selfish want than a payback,’ he admitted and Zelphie’s eyes grew. There was another little silent moment and then Rolan looked back down at the kitten. ‘So,’ he cleared his throat and Zelphie’s eyes fluttered a little. She had been lost, sweet words from Rolan and two glasses of straight rum were an easy recipe for a mindless Zelphie. ‘Shall we start with his bath in the sink? You can’t get their ears wet, I think we’ll have better control of that in the sink than the bath,’ he told her and she sobered a little and nodded.

‘Oh, yes, yes, that’s a good idea,’ she said and the two walked to the bathroom together. She turned in the tap and walked to her bath for soap to use on the poor little kitten. She grabbed two towels as well, one for the inevitable mess and the other for the kitten. Rolan tested the water and held the kitten under the water, holding his scruff. The kitten immediately wiggled and cried. ‘Oh, no no, it’s okay, it’s okay little one, you’ll feel so much better,’ Zelphie cooed and helped get the kitten wet quickly and lathered up some soap. Rolan used his free hand to stop the kitten from swatting Zelphie. He was getting a few cuts, but was about as stubborn as the kitten was. The bath was very quick. The vermin and dirt and whatever else was in the little guy was removed and Zelphie scooped him into a towel, wrapping him tight. He kept crying. ‘Now now now, this is better, hm? Nice and warm, oh lucky you,’ she said and walked out of the bathroom, cradling the cat. ‘You can watch me take a bath later, you’ll see it’s not so bad,’ she continued to talk and Rolan walked out with her. ‘Thank you so much for helping. That would have been a fiasco if I had tried it alone,’ she said and Rolan grinned.

‘You did most of the hard work,’ he said and she shook her head.

‘Let me see your hand, cat scratches are awful things,’ she said and he gave her his hand with a little hesitation. She reached out and lifted his hand up, closing her eyes. ‘Te Curo,’ she whispered easily and with a cool blue flash of light, the scratches were gone from his hand as was the growing itching sensation he was getting from the cuts.

‘Well, thank you,’ he said softly and Zelphie smiled up at him.

The pair helped the kitten get as dry as possible and Rolan led Zelphie to the sitting room so the kitten could be in front of a fireplace. Zelphie began a fire as Rolan sat on the floor and let the kitten out of his towel wrapping. The kitten took his freedom happily and shook his body of water and took to licking the rest off.

‘I’m glad it’s still light out, he’ll be dry in no time,’ Zelphie said and sat down next to Rolan.

‘He’s a lucky little thing, finding you of all people,’ he said and looked down at Zelphie who smiled. She felt her own tail curl up happily. She scooted closer to Rolan and with all the liquid courage she had left in her system, she leaned against him gently and looked over at the kitten, who was fervently grooming himself. Rolan froze a little, the feeling of her body against his. She had leaned on him earlier because she was drunk. She was still drunk, wasn’t she? ‘H-how are you feeling?’ He asked her softly and she smiled.

‘I’m perfect,’ she said, meaning it. Was there a little rum floating in her head? A little. Enough to be a little sleepy and a little bold. But not enough to ruin her senses. The screams of a kitten in a bath had sobered her up considerably. But besides that, she was sitting in front of a fire, very close to a person she trusted and adored. Watching a kitten groom himself. She had no complaints. There was another moment of silence before Rolan’s arm coiled around her waist, holding her a little closer. Zelphie’s heart did flips in her chest and her tail found his quickly. She felt Rolan’s lips in her temple before he spoke.

‘Yes you are,’ he whispered and Zelphie felt the warm rush again. This time, she wouldn’t let it hang. She turned her head to look at him properly. He was looking right down at her, his yellow glowing eyes, his strong and sharp features. Zelphie wouldn’t remember who moved first or who moved the most. She just knew that both of them had and the pair kissed. Simple as that. Had it been too soon? Had it taken too long for such a simple, lovely little thing? It didn’t matter, it was happening, and Zelphie felt every spark of electricity in her body zap her skin. She refused to break this kiss. She had been wanting to kiss Rolan for a very long time. She felt his hand on her cheek and then the absence of his lips. He placed his forehead on hers. ‘Was that alright?’ He whispered softly and she nodded, a little speechless. He was more than alright, he was everything. She reached up again, needing to be back in their first kiss. A first kiss for lovers, what a dream. He kissed her back and she gave way to a grateful sigh. She felt his fangs against her lips, she could taste him. Her heart was beating terribly quickly.

‘How long have you been hoping to do that?’ She asked him softly, their foreheads and noses still connected. She was no longer drunk from the rum, but drunk from something else entirely. He grinned and nuzzled down against her.

‘A while…a long while,’ he admitted. She giggled in response. ‘Please tell me you’ve felt the same.’

‘Yes, if only you hadn’t hated me so much,’ she said and he laughed.

‘I did hate you, though, I’ve always been a supporter of the fact that hate and love are not mutually exclusive,’ he told her and her heartbeat quickly. He didn’t mean what he just said, of course. He couldn’t have. Love her? Love her. Not like that, certainly. ‘Because I do, I do love you, I cherish you. And I’m a fool for trying to hide it. I only wanted to make you comfortable around me, I…but everyone is so quick to poke and prod at my feelings for you, I wasn’t very good at hiding them,’ he told her. She felt his thumb rub her cheek gently. She could have melted into a puddle.

‘It shows you have respect for me, but you’ve made me comfortable Rolan. I trust you. I-‘ she said quickly and chewed on her cheek. ‘I love you too.’ She finished and looked into his eyes. He was as close as another person could be. She giggled again and he leaned down to kiss her again. Love. Real, trusting and respecting love. She’d never had that before. Love was more than kisses in front of a fireplace, love was bonding, understanding, trusting, wanting, caring. She would count what she and Rolan shared as love. But like lovers, they had that one more inch of feeling. For did she not love Lia and Cal? Yes. Did she love Jaheira and Gale and Shadowheart and Karlach and Wyll? Yes. Rolan was a different love, with that extra special something that made her stomach flip. He was handsome, he had a velvety low voice. He was commanding and mighty stubborn. Zelphie was attracted to him and it was clear, in the very least, that Rolan was also attracted to her. It was very nice to feel him want her. His hand holding her cheek, the other holding her side, holding her close. Possession. She felt fiery. She was all his. She placed a hand on his thigh and she heard him sigh out. She didn’t want to start anything else, but she did want to touch him.

‘Too, too long. You were right. Wizards are stubborn,’ he said and she laughed. ‘I should have done that ages ago, though…I don’t know if it’s stubbornness or the fear that…I was wrong about how you might have felt about me,’ he continued and Zelphie just kept smiling.

‘I’m glad for your new bravery,’ she whispered softly and Rolan took a minute and spoke again.

‘This isn’t all because you’ve been drinking, is it?’ He asked, clearly nervous about asking that. His voice quivered a bit and he was quick with his words.

‘No, but that’s a very kind question. No, listening to him screaming was enough to sober me up,’ she said and glanced at the kitten, who was still quickly attempting to lick himself dry. She laughed at the sweet sight and looked back at Rolan. ‘Like I said, I’ve been feeling a special way about you for a long while now, Rolan. Since the party, actually, back at our camp…’ she said and Rolan’s eyes widened. She laughed again. ‘Well, you were happy and a little silly, it was a very nice side of you to see,’ she said and Rolan’s smile widened.

‘Well, I can’t blame you then,’ he said playfully, Zelphie laughed lightly. ‘But…silly? Mmmm not my favorite word,’ he said and Zelphie laughed.

‘Then don’t act silly when you’ve had too much wine,’ she told him and he chuckled. ‘But you know, I feel very lucky to see a more relaxed side of you,’ she explained and Rolan nodded.

‘If you see me relaxed it's only because of how you make me feel, my dear,’ he told her and she smirked. My dear. It wasn’t the first time he had called her that. It was very sweet, maybe a little too innocent and careful, but too careful was better than too strong.

‘Now that is the best compliment I think anyone has ever paid me,’ she said and he laughed.

‘I don’t believe you, but I’m going to pretend you’re telling the truth,’ he told her and glanced at the kitten. Still going at himself. Poor little thing. ‘What shall we name him then?’ He asked and Zelphie looked at the kitten.

‘Surely Rolan Junior,’ she said and Rolan barked a laugh.

‘No, gods no, please do not call it that,’ he said and Zelphie hummed a laugh. He looked down at her and shook his head. ‘No, I know that look, I forbid it, both you and the kitten will be street urchins again,’ he told her and she laughed. She leaned over and scooped up the kitten who grumbled a little and went back to his grooming.

‘He is as stubborn as you, it appears,’ she said and Rolan smirked.

‘Hush you,’ he said softly and kissed her temple. She leaned back on him. This was very nice.

‘Ronald,’ she said and he laughed.

‘Please don’t,’ he said, his lips still her hair.

‘Rolanda,’ she added.

‘Zelphie.’

Silence passed between the two of them, Zelphie thinking and enjoying the moment, Rolan’s face buried in her hair. What was he thinking about, she wondered. Was he as happy as she was? She hoped he was, for she was very very happy. She continued to think about a good name for the kitten, no more teasing Rolan. After a moment she gasped.

‘What?’ He asked her, as if she had woken him up.

‘Elminster,’ she said and he laughed loudly and looked down at the kitten.

‘That is the most offensive way to honor Mystra’s chosen,’ he said and she grinned and rubbed the top of the kitten’s head. The poor thing was only concerned with drying himself off. Rolan sat up straighter and held his hands near the kitten, his hands beginning to burn hot. They stayed still together and very quickly the cat dried up. Zelphie looked up at Rolan and smiled.

‘Thank you,’ she said and Rolan smiled.

‘Lajy,’ he said simply. Zelphie blinked at him. Lajy was Infernal, Infernal for love. ‘I used love just then to conjure that heat. We should name him Lajy.’ He used love to dry off the kitten, wizards had to use emotions and memories to call upon The Weave, and Rolan has just used love to burn his hands enough. She smiled up at him, feeling as warm and as comfortable as she could be. She leaned back on him and his grip got tighter on her. He held her while she held the little cat.

‘Lajy,’ she repeated and stroked the kitten’s newly cleaned fur. He felt Rolan leaning against her temple again, their horns clinking a bit. Rolan’s horns were incredibly graceful, almost economical in their shape. They were large, but they swept back and up, out of the way. Zelphie’s were less economical. They went up and out. She found it very difficult to lay on her side at night, and with Rolan so close, she wouldn’t move, as if she did, she might take his eye out. They found a perfect position and the nice peaceful moment was only interrupted by the sound of a hungry belly. Rolan would blame it on Lajy.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 rolan #rolan x tav #holy rolan empire #rolan bg3

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sea-side-spectre · 11 months

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[The Archive]

so ehe-

literally i fell into the TAWOG rabbit hole SIMPLY BECAUSE my bf wanted me to draw Rob o(-(

this one page changed the ENTIRE course of my train of thought for like A MONTH straight

(and still kinda now orz)

also tried to draw Human!Rob

His design gets more refined as time goes on so it doesnt stay like this

Im also gonna ATTEMPT to post everything in chronological order

but im doing this as i go so bare with me o(-(

The first instance of me drawing Gumball and Darwin-

Their Designs also get more refined so dw dw

LARRY!!

and Mr. Small!

Also the first instance of me drawing either of them

but they get drawn A LOT more- trust me

Also yes, im a FIRM believer in Small/Larry/Rob found family

i worked it in too much into my current headcanons i cant really write it out at this point lmao

besides- the concept is cute and i love them all soooo

its a win-win really

#The Amazing World of Gumball #TAWOG #Rob #Rob [Wrecker]#Gumball #Gumball Watterson #Darwin #Darwin Watterson #Larry #Larry Needlemeyer #Mr. Small #Steve Small #dez draws #stuff

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autism0fadown · 3 months

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Spoilers for season 2 ep 49 - Halo Reach //////below the cut///////

(In case anyone is worried, none of this is negative)

Im sorry but i genuinely could not take this ep seriously-

I went into this ep nervous af bc i thought it was gonna be angsty n shit and i thought Normal would just break down COMPLETELY because he JUST learned that he was the reason why they had to enact code purple, and now he let Willy into heaven, leading him RIGHT where he needed to be. BUT NO-

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE EP WAS LIKE???

Link names a heaven dolphin Grillmaster

We find out that one of the dolphins named Chester has a wife named Julia who has a friend with benefits named Porpy

Anthony asks if Link or Normal have Speak With Animals amd Matthew says “I mean, i have speak with these animals… they’re my boys”

The cast goes on a two minute spiel on whether or not Henry floated into space

Beth makes a joke about Mercedes Oak Garcia dying bc she drank charged lemonade (the Panera lemonade that “allegedly” killed 2 ppl bc it has so much caffeine)

Taylor breaks Lark’s ankle because he tried to do a fucking flip when trying to grab onto Lark

We get this amazing interaction with Anthony and Beth:

“I roll 15 d6, ok… 44 damage”

“ok cool, so what does that do to you?”

“It damage me 44…”

The last thing they hear from Taylor is “Did you guys see my flip!?” As he gets taken to heaven by a giant eyeball

Link goes to catch Taylor from falling because he wants to “catch him like a sweet prince” then he turns and walks away as Lark plummets to the floor (im not that much of a swiftli shipper, but u guys stay winning)

We learn that Normal was the one who was commenting “you should put more feet” and “you should put feet in ice cream” on Links foot/soccer drawings

Link, Normal, and Lark spend like 4 minutes trying to make a human-levitation boot ladder to reach scary but it ends up failing

Scary disguises herself as a kid from her school and convinces Willy, who is LITERALLY GOD, that she is in fact a boy named Larry the Science Kid who is on his side

And thats just what i REMEMBER (or bothered to go back and listen to). And i remember hearing people talk about how unserious this season is or how it feels like this season is completely unhinged, and i didn’t get it. But i recently started re-listening to the first season while i was waiting for this episode to come out, and when it finally did i felt like i was completely thrown for a loop. This season is so insane compared to season one, and i don’t mean this as a bad thing, but the series has changed so much.

And I now am beginning to see the absolute absurd shit that happens in this season and how put together s1 was. But i honestly think its funny how weird this season was and its nice just seeing the group get to do fun goofy shit as teens

#sigh… im not ready for it to end #someone hold my hand im scared #dndads s2 spoilers #dndads s2 #dungeons and daddies season 2 #dungeons and daddies #dndads #scary marlowe #lincoln li wilson #normal oak #taylor swift dndads #taylor swift (not that one)#lark oak #willy stampler #swiftli mention

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boonesfarmsangria · 4 months

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Mike Farrell Reflects on Captain B.J. Hunnicutt’s Ahead of ‘M*A*S*H’ TV Special

Scott Fishman, TV Insider Dec 21, 2023 Updated Dec 22, 2023 0

Mike Farrell knew he had a lot to live up to when he joined the 4077th Medical Corps and cast of M*A*S*H as Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. The well-versed actor already had an impressive career including a stint on Days of Our Lives. However, this was a completely different kind of pressure coming into season 4 of a highly successful series after the exit of Wayne Rogers, who played Captain “Trapper” John McIntyre.

He was up to the challenge with viewers connecting with the devoted family man and what would be a long-time bond with Alan Alda’s Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce. Viewers will ever forget the shot during the historic series finale where B.J. yells out that he left a note for Hawkeye. As he flies away in the helicopter, he soon notices that his good friend spelled out the word “Goodbye” with rocks on the ground.

It’s these types of iconic moments and characters that are celebrated during FOX’s upcoming M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television. Executive-produced by John Scheinfeld and Andy Kaplan, this two-special delves into the Emmy-winning run over 11 seasons through the perspective of the cast and visionaries behind the scenes.

Joining Farrell and Alda on the doc is Gary Burghoff (Cpl. Walter “Radar” O’Reilly), and Loretta Swit (Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan) to name a few, as well as series executive producers Gene Reynolds and Burt Metcalfe. Those who have since passed, including show creator Larry Gelbart, Rogers, Larry Linville (Maj. Frank Burns), Harry Morgan (Col. Sherman T. Potter), and McLean Stevenson (Lt. Col. Henry Blake) are spotlighted through archival photos and footage.

Here Farrell opens up about his emotional reaction to the special. The 84-year-old also describes what it’s like to see the beloved sitcom still resonate more than 40 years after it ended.

Michael Farrell

How often do you go back and watch the episodes back?

Mike Farrell: The popularity of the show continues to astonish me and thrill me, frankly. I get constant emails, and mail, calls to keep it fresh in my mind, and its extraordinary impact. I don’t make a point of looking for it on television, but sometimes it’s there. And when it’s there, I can’t stop looking at it and watching those people I love so much and care about. To see and remember who they were and what we did together. It’s something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I’m so thrilled to be a part of it that it’s hard to put into words.

I remember seeing Alan Alda share a photo of you two toasting to the 50th anniversary of the show’s premiere. How is it for you to still have these close connections after all these years?

For us, it’s a family situation. We enjoyed working together and having this kind of bond that continues to this day. We talk about how much we love each other and stay in touch regularly. It has been something that brings an ongoing extraordinary rush of gratitude and appreciation for all of us here…Then you see David Ogden Stiers, Harry Morgan, Larry Linville, and others on the special. There is that sense of longing for somebody who you knew, loved, and enjoyed working with. It’s piercing at the heart when you see that sometimes. For me, I’m overwhelmed with the warmth that comes back from seeing Harry, remembering the relationship we had not only during the show but afterward. Watching Alan and his incredible wit and hijinks. Some of those things stay with me today. When I tell stories, I can’t help but get misty about those memories. It’s an everlasting love affair for me.

It’s fun to think about what would have happened if social media had been around during M*A*S*H’s original run. For example, B.J.’s mustache would be a hot topic of conversation.

People often ask me, “What do you think of the mustache?” I will say my mother hated the mustache. The mustache was a fun thing. Alan called me at the beginning of one season and said, “They think we are too much alike. What do you think about growing a mustache?” I thought it was a great idea. We made a lot out of it, which was fun to do. I wore what started as a red long shirt. Through many washes, it came out pink. I thought it was hilarious to be wearing a pink shirt in the middle of all that. I get many comments from people in the gay community who tell me they loved my pink shirt and ask if that was a signal. I tell them no, but that I’m glad they noticed it.

One of the topics that gets tackled in the special is B.J.’s character and moment of infidelity with a nurse divorcee. After all this time, I even saw a Reddit thread asking if B.J. cheated on his wife Peg.

I remember when I first met with the guys and they were talking about the possibility of Wayne leaving. I told them the one thing I didn’t want to do as an actor was come in and step in the boots of “Trapper.” They understood. They had in mind a fellow who was married, not a womanizer like “Hawkeye” or “Trapper,” who had a child at home. And he is going to be true to his wife and family. You’re talking about modeling fidelity on television, I didn’t mind that at all. We laughed. It stayed that way. One year we did a show where Blythe Danner played the guest star. She and “Hawkeye had been having a love affair in medical school, and she was temporarily assigned to our station. She was married, but the affair popped up again.

There is a scene where “Hawkeye” asks B.J. if he has ever been unfaithful. I said never. He said, “You ever tempted?” I said, “Tempted is a different question.” He said, “So, you have been tempted?” I said, “No, it was a different question.” It was a good gag. Larry Gelbart, who wrote the scene was ont eh stage when we finished that shot. I said, “Larry, that was wonderful, but let me suggest the idea. The fact B.J. is a faithful husband is great by me, but to suggest a man was not tempted goes too far. I don’t think we need to paint in that pristine manner.” He said that was a good thought. A year later Gene remembers that conversation with Larry. He asked, “What do you feel about B.J. falling off the fidelity wagon?” I said, “It depends on how you resolve it.”

How do you feel it came out?

I loved the whole process that they cared enough to hear me out, and decided it was worth dealing with that question. I thought they resolved it in a classy way. B.J. was upset about what he had done. It was brief and a misstep. He was miserable about it. “Hawkeye” gave him hell because he was going to write home and tell Peg. He said, “Don’t do that to her. If you must confess for whatever the transgression, wait until you get home where you can be with her and talk to her. I thought it was great that they were willing to explore the kind of experience people are put through in these circumstances.

It was almost like it didn’t matter how far they went, but didn’t matter. He would feel the same way.

Exactly. But the idea of them spending the night together in a bed, under those circumstances, and didn’t go far sounds a little stretch to me.

When was the moment you felt how big a show M*A*S*H was?

I was in Southeast Asia during one of our breaks. After my second or third year there on the show when I went around, I was astonished at the no matter what part of the world, the show meant something to the.m. This one man said, “Your show constantly underscores for me the meaning of peace and the need for peace in this world.” I came back to set and Alan and I were sitting together during the first day of the season back. I said, “Are you hearing what I’m hearing out there?” He said, “Yeah, we need to be aware of the way the show is affecting people.

We decided on a regular meeting as a cast and talked through the issues of the day. Alan and I both made it a point that this show is having an impact that is beyond just being a popular television show. We need to be seriously committed to making sure we do the best work we can do. Everyone got it and agreed and rededicated ourselves to commit to doing meaningful work because of the audience’s respect and appreciation for the show.

What are your overall thoughts on the FOX special while screening it?

I watched it with tears streaming down my face while laughter burst from my mouth. It was an extraordinary tribute. Not only to the show and people involved but the people involved behind the scenes. I’m glad they included the clip of Gene, Larry, and in particular Burt Metcalfe, the casting genius who brought many of the characters to the show; me included. He was a powerful force in maintaining the integrity of the show. It was deeply touching and I think the audience will love it. It shows the significance and the work of the characters and the way the show was built and what it became. I was thrilled when I saw it.

How do you think the show would do in today’s TV landscape?

I think it would remain a touchstone for people I can’t tell you how many veterans have contacted me. Even children of veterans. They would say. “My dad would never talk about his experience in the war until he saw your show. Then he would say, ‘That’s the way it was.”…That it has stayed relevant and meaningful to people for generations speaks volumes about the show.

M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television premiere, January 1, 8/7c, FOX

@stroyent 🤝

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