They are real and they hurt a lot but it was so worth it
HOLY FUCK!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!! oh my god its 1 am im in a delirious state im so. i think i can die happy now. this is the amazingest thing in the world i cant believe it... i CAN believe it. this is so awesome thanks so much for my life. this is so cool oh my god. im going to crumple up into a ball
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does anyone else reach a point in their own writing process where u try to go back and reread and it turns into a wall of undecipherable hieroglyphics right in front of u
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How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel? - Aldreda!
Oh man, this is good.
Aldreda's relationship with her appearance is...it's so complicated. "I am sexy & I know it, I am mid & I know it." According to Aldreda, these things can & do coexist. She tends to not think of her "beauty" as super important. She has a carefully curated Look, but that isn't tied to "I am beautiful," it's more "I am an archetype. I am a rogue. I am a mythic raider here to swoop in, kill you, fuck the wife you left behind when I killed you, & then take all your shit back home (wife optional)" However, if someone (that she respected, she has to respect them first) told her that she was pretty or even beautiful then she'd preen about it for days & never stop thinking about & become even more insufferable than she already is.
It isn't that she thinks she's ugly, it's just that when she took it upon herself to be the sons her dad kept losing that "womanly things" stopped mattering. She didn't need to ornament herself beyond what was a show of wealth & prowess or do anything that a man would think is desirable in a "good, sensible, very necessary island-born rock wife." There's a distinct division between "I am a sexy, bad boy raider who deserves to smash whoever I want," & "I am, objectively, pretty & why wouldn't someone want me?" And she is definitely doing the former way more than the latter.
Aldreda's feelings about love are...they are weird. It all has conditions. Familial love is based on doing what someone wants or requires of their family members, platonic love is based on how successful you are, romantic love is based on being the most beautiful & compatible with someone & is the closest anyone can come to not wanting anything from you because what you naturally bring to the table (divorced from skill or connection) is what they want. You are the condition. And so she, like, she just sort of is like "well, I'm not worthy of that one, that got made clear. Guess I'm only worthy of fucking! Beauty Scale 1, Sexy Scale 10, let's fucking go!" And this appearance stuff isn't not linked to her confidence, but because her confidence is mostly competency based, she simply doesn't notice when a blow to her (honestly pretty fragile) ego is making her just over-compensate that little loss. Because "I'm mid & that's fine," except it isn't because that's just one more thing she's subconsciously convincing herself she isn't worthy of.
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Again I will forever and ever support telling any person I am friends with to step back and consider their gender and the idea that they may be trans. I've had multiple friends come back to me afterwards and talk about how that really did open the door for them when it came to thinking about the possibility, and contributed to their current identity and transition.
That's so lovely. I wouldn't sacrifice that for the world. Even if you're cis, or don't really think about these things usually, I suggest you examine your gender. So ofc if someone is actually questioning I'm like.....there's a beautiful world out there, have you considered transing your gender?
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@murderformoverlord top guy ever who's so creature [honorary]
anyways HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! HOLY SHIT. YIPPEE 🎉🎉🎉 [borderless ver under hte cut]
^ it
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