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kweebtrash · 5 years

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Love is (Not) Easy

Messy Chapter 11

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut,

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: alcohol, a smidge of ptsd, mentions of anxiety attacks/panicking

Features: daddy/mommy kink, rope bondage, heavy teasing, some hair pulling, a little bit of deep throating, panty gag, sex toys, a little bit of masturbation/watching someone masturbate, rough sex, thigh high kink, thigh fucking, cumshot, protected and unprotected sex, car sex,

Word Count: 14k

A/N: Johnny and Eri get into a bunch of positions in this one sooo....i hope it comes out clear enough where they’re situated. Try not to send asks with spoilers guys! I want to give people the chance to catch up! also this one is shorter than usual so let me know if you have some feedback.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

Johnnys POV

It was the same bar and club that I performed at surprisingly enough. I knew this place like the back of my hand and it was packed as all hell. I wondered if it was because Eri's band was drawing the crowd or if it was because of the holiday. Either way I was excited to see them perform but for whatever reason I couldn't seem to find them anywhere. I even had Quinn and Jae look with no luck. We had been here for two hours, suffering through terrible bands and trying to be a little less sober. It was nearing the allowed time that Eri was set to play and I should have seen them on stage by now. They were still nowhere to be found. All I saw were some roadies switching out equipment and a dude with dreads do a mic check. That was it.

I finished my watered down drink and nudged Jae, telling him that we should start moving to the front. The crowd was starting to file against the stage and i didnt want to be stuck in the back. I adjusted my snapback and pulled up my sleeves. "You guys ready?" Neither of them had been to a metal show before and I was stuck being in charge. Quinn held onto Jae for dear life, looking around like a deer in headlights. I especially didn't want them getting lost in the crowd given how small they were and the potential level of rowdiness that was to come. "Alright, hold onto me and just shove through. Use your elbows, got it?"

"Are we fucking going to war?" Jae asked.

I sighed. "Not until you get into the pit."

"Like the mosh pit?!" Quinn squeaked.

"Don't worry. I won't let you get tossed in. Cmon, follow me."

Quinn held onto the back of my shirt, staying safely between Jae and I as I started shoving my way through the crowd. There were still some gaps in between the crowd and I was able to get through to the front, not exactly against the stage but it was good enough to see things clearly. I saw a drummer start positioning himself behind the kit. The show seemed like it was about to start and I couldn't help but feel ecstatic. A bassist and the guy with the dreads came next, holding their guitars. Then I finally saw them. They looked incredibly badass even though their outfit was simple. It was a black mini skirt and an oversized white button up with a black tie. That was paired with delicious black thigh highs and scruffed up combat boots that looked like they had seen better days. Their hair was still a gorgeous mane of curls and one side was partially braided to give it a faux undercut look. Their makeup was a smokey purple with dark lipstick that accentuated how full their lips were. I swallowed hard and shifted a bit. I couldn't help it, they just looked so damn hot.

I covered my mouth so no one could see how badly I was biting my lip as I watched their every move. Their hands delicately wrapped around a shot glass that had been placed on their amp and tossed back the brown liquid. It was second nature to Eri and I had seen them do it dozens of times but in this moment it was utterly sensual. The tuned their guitar, caressing the strings and tuning keys. They had a natural born stage presence that was so powerful and commanding that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I thought about getting their attention but I didn't want to seem too desperate. I sat back and decided to watch instead. Eri had the talent to carry their band so I knew it wouldn't be as bad as the others. As dreads guy introduced their band, Eri went to work checking their amp and cords. As they bent over to make sure the settings of the amp were where they wanted them to be, I could see the tops of their thigh highs. My stomach lurched and i felt like a teenager with how pathetically horny i was acting. I tried to shake it out of my body and take some deep breaths to calm myself. I felt like an idiot and was ready to kick myself. The beginnings of "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance started, taking me back to my middle school days. All the tension in my body dissolved and I actually chuckled a bit. This really was emo night. I expected the guy with the dreads to start singing since he was in front of the center mic but Eri was the one that opened their mouth.

Jae, Quinn, and I exchanged looks as we were shocked to hear a slightly husky and gritty voice instead of something more feminine. Quinn had a bright smile on their face, cheering loudly and being so proud of Eri. Even though I was usually irritated by Quinn and we were always fighting, I appreciated that they loved Eri as much as I did. Eri's fingers smoothly flowed over the guitar strings and though they had let me hear them play before, nothing compared to the live show. The song ended and Eri smiled, looking above the crowd and towards the back wall. It was most likely to ease some sort of stage fright or anxiety.

"Who's ready to tell this year to fuck off?!" They said, getting a large response of cheers and claps. "I know for goddamn sure I am. I've been through so much shit it's not even funny. So why doesn't everyone get a shot, toss it back, and give me a big fuck you!" There was a round of 'fuck yous' and people downing their drinks. Eri looked towards the bar and held up three fingers to signal an order while the other guitarist took over getting the hype up. In the meantime, Eri set their guitar on its stand and took off their tie and shirt, tossing it to the side and revealing a tight leather vest that definitely accentuated their full chest. I was almost back to being a drooling mess until I heard a few dozen whistles from the men in the crowd. My irritation skyrocketed as i didnt want other men ogling them but I had to remind myself that this was just for the show and nothing more.

A scantily clad bartender made her way onto the stage holding a tray of three shots. Eri tossed two back and with some incentive from the crowd, set the last glass between the bartenders tits. The bartender camped it up, shimmying just a bit as Eri wrapped their mouth around the rim and pulled it out, swallowing the liquor. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and furrowed my brows as I was starting to get pissed off now. They're just showing off, Johnny. It's just for the show. I sighed deeply, trying to get my feelings in check. The next song started with an eccentric intro about Pennywise the Clown which I'd never heard before. Their voice started softly before switching to a guttural scream that made me do a complete 180. "Holy shit." I whispered.

Quinn had a look of utter terror on their face while Jae leaned over to me, getting closer to my ear. "Good job dating the spawn of Satan!"

"They're not the spawn of satan." I glared at him. "I think it's cool."

"It's a little weird to hear girls doing it. I know usually guys do this type of music."

"Yeah, well they're on pitch and sound great so shut up." Just then a gap appeared in the front of the stage as someone made their way back through the crowd and I took the opportunity to drag Quinn and Jae to fill the space. I wanted to get Eri's attention then and gave them a small wave. Their eyes widened so big I almost thought they were going to pop out of their head. I gave them a smile, trying to reassure them but they only seemed to get more scared which made their voice waver. Just as the song ended they grabbed the other lead singer and ran off to the side of the stage. I wondered what was wrong and leaned forward, trying to see if I could spot them. They seemed to be speaking frantically but I couldn't hear anything over the roar of the crowd. Hopefully it wasn't anything too bad

Eri's POV

"André, André, André, i'm freaking the fuck out! What am I supposed to do?!"

"What's wrong?! You were doing great out there! You sounded awesome. Have you been practicing your screams?"

"Screw that! The guy I've been fucking for months is here along with my best friend and their boyfriend. I'm going to fucking choke!!" My anxiety was taking over big time and I couldn't grasp the fact that people I knew and loved were actually watching me perform. I never invited people to see me for this reason. I would tense up, my throat would close, and the pressure of impressing them would be the only thing I could think about. It gave me one hell of an anxiety attack.

"Ok, so? Be happy that they came to see you! That means they're proud of you and excited to see your talent!" He tried to reassure me.

"Nonono, you don't understand. I can't do this. I'm gonna freak out. I'm like way too nervous. I can't breathe!"

André grabbed onto my shoulders tightly. "Eri, look at me. You are a bad bitch. A bad slutty bitch with talent that blows people's minds. You have performed in front of small crowds and big crowds. You put your heart and soul into it. You're in music journalism because you wanted to prove to every man that you interview that you know exactly what you were talking about and break through that glass ceiling. I want you to go out there and fucking shred like your life depended on it. Make that dude want to rip off your clothes and fuck you senseless. Make everyone see how much of a bad ass you are. You. Can. Do. This. Repeat after me, I'm a slutty bad bitch."

I swallowed hard and shook out my hands, trying to get rid of my nerves. "I-i-i'm a slutty bad bitch."

"And i'm going to go out there and make every man, woman, and everyone in between want me."

"A-and I'm gonna make every m-m-man, woman, and everyone in between w-wa-want me."

"And that dude you've been fucking is going to go insane when he sees what you can really do."

"And that dude-"

"No, hun-" He interrupted. "Don't repeat that part. Look, how about we switch the line up a bit? Then we can pick a song that you feel more confident in."

"Ok, w-what song do you think we should do?" I said, still unsure.

"How about Closer? Your voice sounds sexy and you can let me handle the guitar. What do you think?"

I nodded and whimpered, still feeling queasy. We stepped back onto the stage and André told the other band members about the song change. A regular at the club was against the stage, holding a drink out to me and I took it graciously, downing it in seconds. I needed all the help I could get right now. I had to fake my comfort so i could make it until the end of the set, when the time would wind down and I could scream 'Happy New Year' and let the music fade away. I tried my best not to look down at Johnny, Quinn, or Jae. I needed to keep the alcohol in my stomach instead of all over the crowd.

The synthy bass thrummed beneath my feet as I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Closer was the epitome of the classic "let's fuck right now" song and with harder female vocals it made me feel like the worlds greatest sex symbol. André was right. I was a bad slutty bitch. My friends were in the crowd and though I was anxious that I would disappoint them I was also putting forth more effort to impress them. I had to believe that I was as talented and great as André said, no matter how difficult or low my self confidence was. It was time to continue one hell of a show and feel alive.

I caressed myself, threw my hair back, wiggled my hips, and spun around as I sung about fucking like an animal. A smile was slapped across my face and I felt my entire body ignite with excitement. I even got a bit of courage to get on my knees in front of Johnny and sing to him. He gripped my neck and crashed our lips together during the rhythmic break and it felt like I never wanted to come up for air. I had to bow out when my next verse was going to start but he kept me close for a second more to growl "Mine" in my ear.

I shoved him away and stuck out my tongue, giving him sass in return. It was hot the way he wanted to take control but this was my fucking night. When the song finished I heard a male voice in the back yell, "What else can you do with that tongue?!"

I squinted my eyes against the spotlight and looked out to find the voice but all I could do was smirk. "What else can I do with my tongue?" I panted as I was a bit out of breath. "Make your girl cum better than you ever could."

The crowd whooped and hollered at my diss and André signaled for my attention. It was almost time for the countdown. There was one more song we had to play and then we could say goodbye to this year. I set the microphone back on the stand and picked up my guitar again. It was time to party hard. I gave it my last bit of energy as André and I sung together, getting the crowd to start a mosh pit and make the floor vibrate. The last few moments of the song I abandoned my responsibilities and jumped down from the stage joining everyone in the riot like crashing and pushing until it was announced that there was 30 seconds left of the year. I made my way over to Johnny, Jae, and Quinn, giving my best friend a tight squeeze and an awkward high five to Jae.

Johnny wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed me flush against him though I was a sweaty mess that smelled of liquor. I set my arms on his shoulders as ten faded into nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two-

My drummer crashed the symbols and made a big drumroll as everyone screamed in delight. I couldn't scream though. I was lost in the moment of Johnny dipping me, like an old school love story, and covering me in the best kiss he had ever given me. It felt like time had slowed, people had frozen, and all that was left was me and him, facing the world together like we had been; through death, abuse, violence, emotional pain, mental anguish, and longing feelings to be loved. It was what had brought us together, this pain. And while we were trying desperately to be better people it was harder to say than to do. But we were right here. I couldn't hear any words that were said. This moment was right where I wanted to be and I would have given my soul to remain here, frozen in time.

Johnny pulled away and lifted me up, my mind still a little foggy. He kept his body lowered to stay close to me and held my hand in his, positioning us like we were dancing. "You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, Eri. Er….person, sorry."

I shook my head. "I don't care, it's fine. Just stay with me. Come home with me and stay in my bed. I want to have fun tonight. We need to kick off this year with a bang….literally." I giggled.

"You need to sober up and shower. You smell terrible, just so you know." He laughed.

"I know! I know! 30 minutes up there in the spotlight and I sweat like a whore in church! I gotta help the guys load the van up though so it may take me awhile to finish up. I'll text you when I'm done, yeah?"

He nodded and slowly turned us like we were slow dancing, making me smile at his goofy antics. Metal songs were playing over the speakers and he wanted to dance with me like I was Cinderella. I tapped his shoulder and smiled. "Let me go, prince charming. I gotta get moving ok?"

He gave me a final kiss before sadly letting me go. "Hurry back, Eri!"

Johnny's POV

I felt so many things when we kissed at the bar and I had no idea why. Maybe it was my body's way of telling me that I needed to finally confess to them. I was still so damn scared to do so. A real relationship. One without getting hit everyday or not consenting to things I didn't want to do. One where I was genuinely happy. The last time I felt happy was a month ago when I visited my mom but I had never been happy with someone who wasn’t family. Eri made me happy. Eri made my heart do unimaginable and completely questionable things. Eri was...I think Eri is the love of my life. I didn't need any deep realizations right now. I just wanted to have fun. We were going to let go. But maybe...maybe I was closer to revealing my true feelings than I thought.

I took and deep breath and knocked on Eri's bedroom door and they opened it, looking much more comfy in their sweats rather than their on stage get up. They stood on their tiptoes to kiss me which always made me smile. "You chilled out a bit?"

"Yeah when you sweat your ass off loading up a truck full of gear in a winter coat and boots it makes the alcohol fade real fast. Come on in. I've got a surprise for you."

"A surprise? What the hell for?" I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. Eri guided me to their desk chair and sat me down.

"I want to do something a little different tonight."

"You mean...fucking wise?" Eri thinking of things to try in bed always meant trouble for me.

They bit their lip and nodded. "Yeah, do you want to try it out?"

"Depends on what the hell you're scheming." I said skeptically.

"I promise you'll like it! I won't steer you wrong." They went over to their bed and pulled something out from under their pillow. When I saw what it was my whole body tensed.

"Eri, what the hell are you doing?"

"You tied me up last time. It's only fair that I get to do the same to you." They stepped closer with the bit of cotton rope in their hands which made me scoot the chair back.

"Ye-yeah but that was different. Completely different. I don't know if I'd like that!" I said nervously. Being tied up meant I wouldn't be in control which meant I was instantly nervous and unprepared. My body was already beginning to sweat as my heart raced. Eri crept closer and set their finger under my chin to tilt my head up.

"Cmon Johnny. New year, new kinks. We should see if you like something new." They smirked.

"No way! I'm good. Nothing new. I'm perfectly fine the way I am!"

They slipped behind me and rubbed their hands all over my chest and down to my stomach, planting kisses wherever they wanted to on my neck. "Pleaseeeeee," they whined. "I just wanna have some fun. I have so much planned for us."

"Then why do I have to be tied up?!"

"Because you wouldn't be a good boy if you weren't. You're not very patient when I tease you."

"Well maybe you shouldn't tease me then." I grunted.

"Just play along and I promise you'll love every minute of it." They landed a particularly sharp nip to my neck, making me flinch away. I still didn't want to be tied up but I knew they wouldn't stop whining if I did.

"Fine! But what's that thingy I say to make you stop if I don't want it anymore?"

They giggled and pulled my hands behind the back of the chair, beginning to tie them. "A safe word. And you can say guitar for me to stop."

Guitar? That sounded so stupid. But whatever. I would just play along for now. I tried to get out of the ties but they held firm. I swallowed hard and instantly started to panic. I looked up at Eri as they stepped in front of me. "W-wait Eri, I don't- Gui-"

I watched as they pulled their sweats off and suddenly I couldn't remember what I was even worried about. I feasted my eyes on a deep blue lingerie set, complete with a garter belt and see through thigh highs. My mouth went completely dry as the blood in my brain rushed south.

"Do you like it? I got it in blue since it's your favorite color and it was on clearance." They said, happy at their financial victory. "You're not saying anything…"

"U-uh…" How could I when they looked like that? Incredible, tantalizing, and unbelievably sexy. I tried to lurch myself forward to feel every inch of their warm skin but snapped back into the chair as my tied hands kept me immobile. So that's why they did it...sneaky little shit.

Eri set their hands on top of my thighs and leaned forward. "Johnny, do you like it or not?"

"U-um...y-yes. Yeah. Good." I managed to say in my lust filled haze. They straddled my hips and sunk down onto my lap.

"I'm glad. Do you want to touch my thighs?"

"Absolutely. Please, Eri." I had no shame in begging for that. I wanted their thighs, hips, and ass in my hands and against my lips.

"Nope. Nooootttt yet. You have to prove you'll be good boy " I tossed my head back with a frustrated groan. Why couldn't they just let me touch them?!

"What the fuck do you mean I have to prove I'm good?! You want me to call you mommy or something?!"

They lowered their gaze and gave me a predatory smirk. "That could work."

My eyes widened and I tried to release my hands again. "Eri I'm serious!

"So am I." They pressed their lips against mine, wrapping their arms around my neck, making our chests flush together. Why the hell were they such a good kisser? I was whipped for them and hated every bit of it.

"Hmm, let me-" I tried to say in between moments of our tongues clashing. "Go-"

"Tsk tsk tsk Johnny," They wrapped their tiny hand around my neck and pressed gently against my Adam's apple. "We really have to work on your impatience." They started grinding their hips against my lap creating that friction that drove me wild. I swallowed hard, feeling the pressure of their hand still against me, and squeezed my eyes shut. I had to think of a plan to get free but the mesh rubbing against the roughness of my jeans was terribly distracting. I bucked my hips upwards, wanting to gain more traction and feel their wetness through the fabric but they forced their weight down onto my thighs so I couldn't use them as leverage. "You're such a cute little prince when your frustrated."

"I'm not a goddamn prince." I tried to say steadily but their thumb pressed harder into my throat. I was already starting to feel my cock stir and hated being trapped in my pants.

"Oh yes you are." Eri laid a tender kiss on my lips. "Just like I'm your princess, you're my prince. And I could be your mommy just as well as you can be my daddy."

"Cut it out." I growled. "It's weird." I ground my teeth together as they forced their weight down again and rubbed against me. Jesus, this was driving me crazy.

"It's the same principle, Johnathan. Don't be so sexist." They chuckled and finally removed themselves off me. "You'll learn soon enough." They disappeared behind me and I was still uneasy about what the hell they were going to do. Whips and chains were definitely out of the question.

"Eri! What are you doing?!" I tried to wiggle the chair around to see what they were up to but they returned shortly after. They were silent this time as they sunk down to their knees between my legs and unzipped my pants. They pulled them down and I lifted my hips up to help them, grateful that I was going to get more attention. They pulled off my sneakers and the rest of my pants and boxers, letting me free.

"Don't make a sound ok?" My eyes were glued to their lips as they set my cock in their mouth, slowly sucking on the head and rubbing their thumb against the underside. I sighed contently and relaxed against the chair. The rope didn't bother me so much now as I was much more intrigued by the tingling pleasure. They looked up at me, brown eyes full of mock innocence and wanting of praise. They looked so damn cute with their mouth full.

"Keep going...it's so good." I exhaled in a choppy breath. I was getting harder by the second and wanted them to take more of me in but I knew I hurt them pretty bad last time I used so much force. But nothing was better than having that warm wet heat of a tongue and tightness of a throat wrapped around me. My stomach was tightening a little as all the attention to the head of my cock was starting to make me too sensitive. "B-babe um, b-back off for a- hhoooollly fuck!!"

I felt it then, my cock completely disappearing down their throat in one fell suck. What the hell? They had never done that before! They popped off me and smiled. "Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"

"How can I be quiet when you just did...that!!" I yelled. "How? What? When?" I was so confused but turned on beyond belief.

They giggled and set their head on my thigh as a single finger danced around my slit. "I forgot numbing spray was a thing."

"Numb what??"

"Numbing spray. You spray it and it numbs your throat and helps your gag reflex so I can take down more of you."

"God bless America. Fucking do it again Eri."

"Ask Mommy nicely."

"Ugh! Fine!" I grit my teeth and glared at them. "Do it again...please." They looked at me, waiting. "Mommy."

That seemed to satisfy them enough and the next moment I was plunging my cock down their throat. It took my breath away and I tried to be absolutely quiet for fear of them stopping. I wanted to keep their head in place, wanted to fuck their face senseless, but these goddamn ties were stopping me. I hated them and wanted them off now.

My toes gripped against the legs of the chair and I sunk my hips a little lower, trying to angle myself to get a few thrusts in. "Baby," I cooed. Wait, fuck, they would probably want me to say that stupid word. I sighed internally and cleared my throat. "Mommy?"

Their eyes shot up to meet mine again and their sucking stopped. "Hm?" They hummed around me.

"Could you please untie me? Please? I need to touch you."

"No, you want to face fuck me." They said as they released themself from me again. Goddammit. "You're not allowed to." They kissed my tip and licked down my shaft. "But I promise if you behave you can be daddy a bit later."

That peaked my interest. "Really?"

They nodded as they kissed my balls before taking one into their mouth and their hand became busy with giving me firm strokes. I let all of the tension in my body ease once I knew I would be in control soon enough. If I had done that before I would've took notice to how eager Eri was to suck me. Usually it was a little fast and decently pleasurable but I could always tell they weren't 100% into it. It wasn't their favorite thing in the world but they did it because I liked it. But now everything was heightened and steering me closer towards an orgasm. Fuck, I didn't want to cum this soon. Though I didn't want to I had to stop them. "H-hey, not yet, ok?"

They pulled away from me and wiped the corner of their mouth. "Fair enough." They rose to their feet and took a step back before dropping their panties to the floor. I licked my lips and watched intensely as they crawled into the bed face down and ass up. They opened their knees and dipped their stomach towards the bed before sliding their fingers through their folds. They were really going to touch themselves in front of me. I growled in frustration. I was gonna spank them so hard when I got out of these ties!

"Eri!" I snapped. "You need to let me…" My voice trailed off as they dipped two fingers into their fuckable little hole, scissoring themselves open and showing me exactly where I wanted to dive into. "Let me go!"

They sighed and turned back towards me. "What part of stay quiet don't you understand?" They grabbed their panties from the floor and balled them up before grabbing my chin. I turned my head away but they managed to get my mouth open and stuffed them in. I had had it with their fucking antics but the fire in their eyes matched mine. I couldn't believe they had been hiding this side from me for so long. They were supposed to be my submissive princess and instead they were a hellfire succubus damning me to a hell of irritation, greed, and lust. I growled and tried wrapping my legs around their thighs to pull them closer but they landed a harsh slap to my leg. I was taken aback and raised an eyebrow at them. They turned away from me without another word and went over to their desk drawer, pulling out what looked like a vibrator.

They sat on the edge of the bed this time, propping their feet up and leaning onto their elbows slightly. I heard the strong whir of the vibrations and stared as they dragged it up and down their lips, occasionally dipping it into their entrance. Soft sweet little whimpers rang in my ears as their hands moved the vibrator at a slow pace. Eri started moaning my name, just a bit exaggerated to entice me further. They were driving me insane and if i didn’t touch them soon I was going to explode. My cock was already throbbing intensely almost to the point of pain. My breaths were getting heavier as Eri’s thrusting of the toy increased speed. They were squirming and rocking their hips as their hands caressed their thighs. I watched as their fingers teased the lace band of their thigh highs and traveled to rub across their inner thigh. Their fingers kept going until they covered their clit and added passionate circles to the sensitive area.

I scooted the chair closer to the bed, leaning as far as I could to hover over them. They had a sly smirk on their lips as they turned off the vibrator and popped it into their mouth to lick it clean. “You’re irritated aren’t you?” They said cockily. I nodded slowly and they sat up to kiss my mouth that was forced to stay shut. “I would say that i’m sorry but it’s fun pushing your buttons, especially because you’ve been so into punishing mine lately. I wanted to have a little fun of my own this time.”

I stood quiet trying to make it inconspicuous that I was working my tongue against the panties in order to spit them out. They looked down at my cock and licked their lips. “I guess I could think about letting you go. Or I could have some more fun by myself.”

I finally got the panties against my teeth and spit them out. “I’m not fucking playing anymore. Let. Me. Go.” I growled.

Eri looked down at the discarded thong and sighed. Their foot hit the edge of the chair, pushing it back on its wheels and taking me with it. The whir of the vibrator started up again and I was forced to continue to watch how good a some stupid plastic toy was making them feel. They were thrusting it in faster this time, trying to increase their amount of pleasure and my pain. Their hand caressed their torso, stopping just a bit to cup their breast and tweak their nipple. Their lips parted into a soft sigh that morphed into a mewl as their back arched from the bed. With every pull of the vibrator i could see Eri's body shudder weakly, the toy glistening with a thin coating of their cum. They slipped it out and pressed the tip against their clit which almost made their thighs snap shut.

"J-Johnny…" They whispered. Their hand was tangled in their hair now, trying to steady themselves from giving in too soon.

They made no attempt to move and free me and instead kept plunging the vibrator deeper to perfect the way the curve of the toy hit them. I bounced my leg impatiently, deciding that maybe I could do a little reverse psychology. If I ignored them and didn't say anything perhaps they would get frustrated and more likely to let me go. It was hard but I silenced myself and averted my gaze from the show they were putting on. It didn't take long for them to catch on as they were tempting me with calling my name out louder. I swiveled the chair around, blocking my view entirely and giving them my middle finger in exchange for their torture.

The bed creaked then and I felt their hand on my neck, tilting my head back. "You're ignoring me on purpose."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said, smugly.

They pressed the vibrator to my lips and worked it into my mouth so I could suck off their taste. It made me crave them even more but I continued my facade. "You do. You're playing games with me and I hate that." They grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head back. I bit down on my bottom lip and swallowed back the deep lustful groan that built up in my throat. Just stay focused Johnny. Stay focused.

Suddenly their bra was in my lap which meant they were only in the garter belt and thigh highs. Fucking hell. Thankfully, I finally felt the sweet release from the ropes. I stood up quickly and tossed off my shirt before rubbing my wrists. Eri backed up onto the bed and laid back with a teasing look on their face. They were waiting for my next move, wanting me to pounce on them. I decided to take my time, continuing to give them a taste of their own medicine. I casually grabbed a condom from their usual spot on their dresser and rolled it on, yawning in the process.

Eri scoffed. "Don't give me that shit, boy. Get over here now."

"Maybe I don't want to." I said flatly.

"Yeah, tell that to your dick thats swollen and literally dripping cum everywhere, slut."

That I definitely couldn't hide but I shrugged and sauntered over to them. "I can take it. After all you've made me wait all this time. Can't you be patient now?"

They yanked me onto the bed and forced me onto my back before straddling my waist. "No. What I say goes. Fuck me."

"You're wrong princess. What I say goes."

"Princess is gone tonight. Deal with it, prince." They grabbed onto my wrists and pinned them down which made me jerk uncomfortably and feel panicked. "S-sorry…" They whispered softly, breaking character for just a moment to instead hold my hands. I relaxed back and exhaled deeply, closing my eyes and trying to focus on our tense banter instead of my past. They gave me a soft kiss. "You ok?"

I nodded and pressed my forehead to theirs, giving their fingers a squeeze. "Keep going."

"Rough?"

"Rough." I agreed.

"You can tell me when to stop still. Was the rope too much?"

"A little. It made me jumpy but I can't say I wasn't distracted." I chuckled and nuzzled their face. "Cmon, mommy. Show daddy what cha got." It was completely cheesy and made us both laugh but it dissipated as soon as I felt them sink down on me. I arched up instantly, sucking in a breath as their tightness overcame me. "Fuck, Eri. I need you."

"I know you do. You always will. You're addicted to me." They bounced their hips fast, wasting no time in denying our satisfaction any longer. They were right about being addicted to them but it wasn't a habit I wanted to break. They were the only person ive ever really loved romantically and I still couldn't even tell them that. I was frustrated and disappointed at myself but what else could I do until I got the balls enough to confess?

I forwent my inner turmoil and looked up at Eri who was grinding harder into me. Their lips were pouted in a silent moan that turned into a tiny squeak once I was able to wrap my lips around their nipple. I sucked deeply, hungry, and yearning for them to cum. Their hold on my hands was weakening a bit and I used my strength to roll them over onto their back. My lips never detached from them but I gained tons of leverage to plow into them hard and hip breakingly fast. Their legs squeezed around my waist and I clamped my hands around their thighs. The feeling of the thin mesh sent chills down my spine as did the lace when my fingers ran over it. I had no idea why but I want to cum all over the stockings and soak them with thick heavy ropes.

I blushed a bit, embarrassed at my own sudden desire. That seemed way too weird...but would they let me do it? I swallowed nervously and looked down at them. "Im gonna cum the way I want, got it?" I said, putting on my stern voice.

"What makes you think I'm gonna let you cum at all?"

I sat back, stilling my thrusts for a moment. "You really think you have that power over me?"

"I know I do." They took the opportunity to capture my vulnerability and sat on my lap , wrapping their arms around me tight. "Keep going. Break me."

Christ, break them? They were going to break me. The fast pace of our shifting positions and newfound desires was leaving me in a whirlwind haze of deadly sins. I gripped onto their hips and slammed them down onto me. Heavy breaths were exchanged between us as we tried to entertain ourselves with harsh kisses, licks, and bites. It was a sloppy mess that made me dig my nails into their ass and growl deeply. "Do that again," they whispered in my ear. "Growl for me."

How did I make it not sound forced and stupid? I rarely noticed when I did it as it was all unintentional. While I was fussing with my thoughts, Eri clamped down around me tight and drew out the sound they wanted easily enough. They let out a whimper and squeezed me tighter to their chest. They sunk their teeth into my shoulder as their small body caved in and I could feel them dripping down my shaft. I kept my arm around their waist as they dug their fingers into my hair squeezing tightly but not pulling. "You ok, babe?"

They nodded quickly and finally released my shoulder from pain. "S-so good." I turned their head up towards mine and captured them in a slower kiss, letting out tongues work over one another gently. With a few small pecks they parted from me for a moment. "How do you want to cum? Don't say inside me because that's not happening again."

I shook my head. "Just...don't laugh, ok?"

They raised an eyebrow in confusion as I set them back down on the bed. I rolled off the condom and tossed it on the floor, not really giving a damn about it in this moment. I lifted their legs a bit, pressing their thighs together with just enough space for my cock to flow through them. The softness of their thighs coupled with the fabric was enough to make me go crazy. I thrusted faster, even feeling the lace caress my shaft. I clutched at their calves tightly as I felt that oh so familiar bliss creep within, this time heightened more than I could ever imagine. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, my breath weakening, and when I felt that heated tension I set their legs down and splattered my cum across the fabric.

I braced myself by placing my arms beside them and tried to catch my breath. They hadn't said a word or even made a sound since I became obsessed with getting off that way. I was almost afraid to look at them but when I opened my eyes I saw that their face was completely flushed. "I-i-i'm um...I'm sorry that was weird, I know." I said, ashamed.

"No. No. I'm...it wasn't weird. I just...I've never done that before."

"Yeah I...uh…" I pushed my hair back and flopped down on the bed beside them, preferring to just shrink away. "Sorry." I apologized again.

"Johnny…" they suddenly giggled. "I think you just leveled up your thigh high kink."

Now it was my turn to blush even more. "S-shut up! I have not!"

"Mhm, this mess says otherwise. Will you take them off for me? You can touch me as long as you want."

That offer seemed amazing but I was dead tired and I knew if I even so much as started to touch their thighs I would be rushing to cum again. Nonetheless, I did at least remove their soiled stockings and garter belt and tossed it beside the rest of our clothes on the floor. I managed to reach for my jeans and pulled out my crushed pack of cigs and lighter. Finally relaxing, I lit one up and rested beside them, realizing that maybe this new year was made for new kinks.

Eri's pov

We laid together for awhile, suffering through trying to catch our breath in the coldness of my room and sharing a cigarette or two as an end note to our ridiculous fucking. I was drifting into sleep thanks to the usual comforting smells of his musk and barely lingering cologne when Johnny decided to open his mouth and talk. I sighed a bit and looked up at him with my sleepy eyes, hoping he'd take the hint. "So like...me and Jae's birthdays are in a month and we're gonna have like this party so obvi you're invited but I wanted to let you know."

"Your birthday?" Fuck i still actually didnt know his birthday was. Why were we like this? "When is it?"

"Mine is on the 9th and Jae's is on the 14th. So we're doing it on the weekend. We always celebrate together."

"An aquarius…" I scoffed. "God that explains so much." I flopped onto my back and went off thinking about our actual astrological compatibility while he continued to talk about the party.

"Eri! Are you listening?!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him. "Yes! The party I got it!"

"Yeah, I know that. I asked you when your birthday is."

"Oh...um, it's October 29."

He sat up a bit and looked at me. "As in, it passed and you didn't tell me?"

"I don't really celebrate my birthday. Id much rather celebrate Halloween. Besides...October was a weird month for us…"

"Still you could've said something...how is it that we still don't know the most basic info about each other?"

I shrugged. "We thrive on shared trauma which, ya know, isn't really that great but here we are.".

"I mean we had that talk in the hotel room but I guess even that was a bit heavy with you telling me about your gay stuff…"

"The gay stuff™️." I giggled. "But yeah, I guess so. If you ask me though, knowing each other on a deeper level is better than us knowing our fave colors and birthdays."

"I can see that to some extent. I would still like to know that superficial stuff about you."

I sat up a bit, letting my hair drift over my shoulder and onto his chest. "Ok, Johnathan. I know that you're from Chicago, you're a Mama's boy, your fave color is blue, you like photography and live off of iced americanos from Starbucks. You can sing and play the piano and you're in photojournalism. And now I know you're an aquarius. So if there's any more superficial stuff you'd like me to know then have at it."

"Gee, thanks. Now you just sound like an asshole." He rolled his eyes and tried to shift away from me but I managed to wriggle my weight onto him.

"I'm serious. Go ahead and tell me. Or you can ask me a bunch of shit. 20 questions, you softie."

He sighed and set his hands behind his head. "Alright question one, what made you such a pain in my ass?"

"That's not a 'superficial' lovey question, Johnathan." I teased. "And i'm not a pain in the ass, you just like me. Admit it. I'm the majestic goddess of your dreams!"

"Oh definitely. Nothing less than a majestic goddess." He smiled as I leaned in for a kiss. "Question two, how old even are you?"

"I just turned 21."

He sat up quickly, almost knocking our heads together. "Whoa, wait, really?? You're younger than Jae! He's turning 22!"

"Well how old are you gonna be?!"

"24!"

"Oh my god, you act like it's such a big deal. Don't scare me like that. Almost everyone I fuck is older than me, except Lucas. Who cares?" I pressed him back down onto the bed and resumed my position of comfort on top of him.

"I mean like...I normally go for older chicks so it's just a bit weird…"

"Well, what they say about older people being wiser isn't always true. Especially since my young self made you have two orgasms in a row, deep throated you, made you realize that eating pussy isn't so bad, and taught you that being a daddy never felt so good."

"You're so annoying, I swear." He scoffed.

"You only say I'm annoying when I'm right, which is like all the time, so next question please."

"What's your last name?"

"Hah, funny. I have like 4, all of which you probably cant pronounce so we'll skip all those. What's your last name?"

"Suh."

"Suh?" I questioned. "Like suh' bro?"

"Like Johnny Suh." He booped my nose.

"Eri Suh wouldn't sound too bad…better than what I have now." It came out faster than I wanted to and I thought he was going to freak out but instead he pulled me to his chest and kissed my forehead.

"Yeah...maybe."

I wasn't really sure how to react to his gentleness. It felt strange but oh so comforting. Marriage wasn't my gig at all but...the name did sound cute. I pulled the covers up to my chin and settled against his warmth. "A-anyway, I'll go to your party."

"Don't sound so enthusiastic, damn." He joked.

At least he wasn't hung up on my embarrassing revelation of how our names sounded together. "But don't worry, Suh. Mommy will remember to give you 24 spankings like you deserve."

"Eri, dont you dare! You're not gonna be spanking me anytime soon!"

"You'd be surprised! Maybe you'd like being a sub!"

"Maybe I should use the panty to gag you next, hmm? I don't wanna hear your big mouth. I'm tired!"

"Oh you ass!" I giggled and playfully hit his shoulder, barely inflicting pain. He tried to slap my hands away and curl up on his side, laughing with me. When I had enough I grabbed onto him like a koala, finally becoming the big spoon I always wanted to be.

He didn't move away from me. In fact, he held onto my hand that was around his waist and sighed softly. His shoulders released their tension and I could tell that he was actually falling asleep. A giddy smile was on my lips as I nuzzled his spine happy to be the one providing him with protection for once.

It was hard getting closer to him without actually being a couple. We had become so close it was almost impossible to separate us. There was always a little voice in the back of my mind that screamed 'just tell him! What's the worse that could happen?!'. Heartache. Heartache was what could happen. Love is not easy. It was one of the hardest things I had to face since I broke up with Jungwoo. That was another reason I stopped myself. It was like a gut reaction that sent me into a panic when I thought about someone being in love with me.

I regret what happened. We were a cute couple. I was full of naivety and thinking my world was so sweet when I was around him, which it was. He was polite, kind, a true gentleman, and always put me first. He was literally a perfect boyfriend. He was also the first boyfriend I ever had. That threw my sexuality for a dizzying loop since I had been with my ex girlfriend for most of high school until the beginning of college. I realized that men weren't so bad (pfft, yeah right), especially my Jungwoo.

It was almost 9 months that we were together, inseparable and presenting as the white picket fence pristine couple. Waiting also came with Jungwoo as he was extremely shy when it regarded romance. We had barely kissed within those nine months but held hands like it was our job. It makes me laugh now how reserved I was back then. I was almost virginal (well technically a virgin with a real dick. Definitely not a virgin with a girl (or a fake dick)) and Jungwoo for sure was a virgin which seemed to make that moment more special when the time came. Our kisses were clumsy and awkward, our hands unsure of where to explore, and our bodies fumbled until we were connected. We nervously laughed and stared at each other and I had no idea what to make him do. We could only think of to thrust but still weren’t really sure how to make it pleasurable. I didn't know what I wanted from sex with a man and I laid there thinking most of the time instead of trying to enjoy it all. And then it happened.

Like a doomsday bomb the three little words were mumbled from his lips and I froze. See, the layers of trauma were just beginning to pile on. My girlfriend had told me she never even loved me after out five year (childlike) relationship, and now that Jungwoo had said that I feared that he was lying. He was just going to stab my heart again and laugh at my misery. No matter how nice he presented to be. That was what she did after all; was nice and then turned her back on me and destroyed what I thought was real and most important. And so I ran. I physically ran. I pushed him away, tossed on my clothes, and sped from his dorm room as fast as possible. He was confused and I didn't talk to him after. No explanation or anything. I ignored his texts, ignored when he came to my dorm, avoided him at all costs. The kicker was that he did actually love me and now I was the person that caused pain and suffering.

Thus my caution with Johnny and being terrified to say anything. I wanted to, god I really really wanted to, but the trauma and fears and of course him outright saying we wouldn't be together we're speed bumps in my recovery to love like a normal person. I still thought about confessing for the hell of it and throw myself down the rabbit hole of self hatred but I was still too scared. This was also the first time love had hit me so hard. With Jungwoo I wasn't really sure of my feelings but with Johnny it was almost like I knew right away. I had never fallen in love that fast with someone ever. He made my heart race, my body ascend of planes of absolute bliss I could never imagine myself being on. He made me laugh, feel safe, listened to me, and was there through my personal disasters and didn't budge. He didn't care about what had happened to me. It was almost as if he found it normal since we had similar stories. I wanted him so bad. I needed him.

I sighed as my tornado of thoughts about love hit me all at once in the parking lot of Johnny's apartment complex. It was the night of his party and I wasn't going to ruin it by being a crying mess as soon as he rejected me after my confession. I stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut, squaring my shoulders and taking a deep breath to put on my brave face and stuff my feelings away. I mean how could I be Eri if I actually talked about my feelings.

I shuffled my feet against the ice, trying not to fall as I made my way to the door of the building. I fucking hated winter. I was an island baby, what the hell was I supposed to do with a giant pile of frozen hatred? I made it safely and went to Johnny's apartment. The door was open and I let myself in, looking around at the people already dancing and mingling. I tried to find him but couldn't really see him anywhere, which was weird since the apartment wasn't that big. I went to his room, pushing past a few people to look for him there. The room was empty though and I simply unzipped my coat and tossed it on his mattress.

"Hey."

I turned and expected to see my birthday boy but it was Lucas. My heart immediately felt like it was a piece of paper that got crunched into a ball to throw in the trash can. "Hey…"

"Can we...talk? Please?"

"About what?"

"What happened between us."

"Lucas, I came here to have a good time not be bombarded with sadness."

"I know but you're ignoring me every other way so I need to do this. Please."

Great. Exactly what I needed. "Go on."

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. We both sat down on the bed and I waited for him to start. "Eri, I am so sorry for what I made you feel. Like incredibly, totally, irreparably, sorry for what I did. I didn't think it was a big deal but I was being selfish and only thinking about my fun. It never even crossed my mind that it would hurt you so much, which of course was a problem. Then you stopped talking to me and I realized I could actually lose you. I don't want to lose you. That's the very last thing I want Eri. You mean so much to me and Quinn definitely beat it into my brain that I was an asshole. I just hope you can forgive me. Maybe not today but somewhere down the road. I miss hanging out with you. I miss laughing with you and cuddling you and all that stuff. I know you're in love with Johnny so we can't be friends with benefits anymore but I don't care about that. I want you. The three of us, back together again. Me, you, and Quinn."

He took a deep breath and rubbed his palms against his jeans, seemingly to wipe the sweat off. I didn't know what to say. I set my elbows on my knees and leaned forward to cup my face in my hands. I wanted to scream. Of fucking course this would be the first thing that hits me. I did love my Lucas puppy. I love him too much. I hated not talking to him or tagging him in stupid memes. I would go to the ends of the Earth for him. I could hear the remorse in his voice and see the pained look in his eyes and it made me want to scream. He did the least amount of damage compared to Yuta and Ten, and he was the only one who apologized. It was a lot to think about but I caved in.

"I forgive you Lucas." His eyes lit up in that excited puppy way which made me crack a small smile. "It's hard but I do forgive you. I miss you."

"Fuck! Eri!" He tackled me back onto the bed and gave me a strong hug, crushing me in his long arms.

"Lucas! Argh- Jesus! Are you gonna let me breathe?!"

"Oh sorry!" He pulled away from me and I sat back up again. "I'm just so happy to be with you again. I love you."

"I love you too " It was so nice and easy to say that to him, why couldn't it be the same with Johnny. Lucas laid his head on my shoulder and I pet his hair back. It may be weird to try and go back to being normal but I felt confident enough that we could make it work. It was years of investment into our relationship and admittedly tons of nights of passion and intense love that would go down in the history of my little black book. It was hard to let him go and I couldn't do that just yet.

"Can we hang out soon?" He asked.

"Yeah, maybe. I have a lot on my mind right now…"

"With Johnny?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I don't know what to do anymore. I love him but I don't know if I can tell him yet."

"You have to Eri. It just seems like it's killing you."

"It is but what if it hurts? What if it backfires? What if I just become an irreparable mess?"

"If he fucks you up I'll beat his ass. Quinn will beat his ass. You don't have to worry about that."

"Violence is not going to solve my heartache, Lucas. It's not going to make me feel better if he rejects me."

"Look," Lucas sat up and held onto my shoulders. "You're a risk taker. You're always doing new and cool shit. Johnny would be stupid to pass up the chance to be with you. Besides I know someone who would jump on the opportunity to be with you."

"God Lucas don't tell me it's you. Please, I don't need that "

"I mean yes but also no." He laughed. "It's not me exactly but you just let me know what Johnny says, ok? I make sure you won't go through that alone." He kissed my forehead and gave me a death grip hug. "Text me, whenever you do it. I'll have my bat ready just in case."

"When did you become such an adult? What happened to my goofy baby boy?" I half joked. He had grown up a lot in the past year and I was proud of him, especially for making the decision to talk it out with me.

He shrugged. "I can't stay a kid forever. I like having fun but I know when things are important and need to be fixed. I know when I'm wrong." He kissed me gently and pressed his forehead to mine. "One last one before you're with him forever." I shouldn't have. It felt like I was betraying Johnny but then again we weren't together. I cupped Lucas' face in my hands and kissed him slowly, feeling that familiar comfort we had in being with one another. I sighed softly into his mouth before falling into his chest. He kissed the top of my head then patted my shoulder. "Let's get back out there. We can at least celebrate his birthday which by the way you owe me for mine!"

"I know, I missed yours. I will make it up to you when we hang out. I'll cook for you."

He gave me a great big smile. He loved food and that was the key to his heart. "Hell yeah! You're a great cook! I'll hold you to it."

We both got up from the bed and made our way towards the door. When he exited the room he gave me one last kiss on the cheek before we parted. I exhaled deeply, trying to pretend I was okay but all of that hit me in the first part of the night and it was a mess. I attracted messes. Messy messes that just came with suffering. But now it was time to look for Johnny and hopefully he could make me feel a little better. I maneuvered through people as I searched but instead caught sight of Yuta. My heart stopped when he looked at me and just across from his was Taeyong. Why were they here? Johnny couldn't have possibly invited them. I was falling into panic mode already and wanted to run.

I felt strong arms wrap around me and a kiss on my cheek. “There you are! I was looking for you. When did you get here?” I turned and held onto Johnny happily. I was glad to be in his arms again.

"I got here not too long ago but Im gonna go. I don't think I can be here." I said with a shaky voice.

Johnny looked me, concerned. "Why? What's going on?"

"I saw Yuta and Taeyong and I just talked to Lucas and it's just a lot right now."

"I can kick them out if you want. Im not even sure how they got here. Must've tagged along with someone else."

"No, no. It's fine. I don't want to cause drama at another party. It's your birthday. I want you to have fun."

"Yeah, but I wanna have fun with you. If you don't wanna stay we can go somewhere else." He said as he set his arms around me.

"This is your party, Johnny. You should stay."

"Fuck it. Come on. We'll just do our own thing. I don't care as long as I'm with you." He took my hand before I could even protest and headed towards the front door. I managed to snag my coat at the last second and got dragged along until we arrived at his car. I had no idea where he was taking me but I trusted him enough to let him lead the way. Our pinkies remained linked as he drove one handed and slowly my anxiety evaporated into the winter air. Eventually we came across an abandoned building where Johnny parked.

"Oh great, you're gonna kill me. You know, I was supposed to be the serial killer in this relationship." I said as I stared at the dilapidated structure.

"Shut up." He joked and sucked his teeth. "I think this place is really cool and I thought you would like it because its all spooky and shit."

"Well you got me there. It does look cool." He got out the car and I pulled my coat tighter, finding my beanie and gloves in the pocket. I put those on too and got out, hearing the untouched snow crunch beneath my boots. The quietness of the night was magical and a breath of fresh air. Small snowflakes fluttered down from the sky and it made me feel like a kid again. I stuck my tongue out and tried to catch the flakes, spinning around and holding out my arms. I normally didn't like winter but there were times where snow was so scenic and pristine that it made me utterly happy.

In the midst of the quietness I heard clicking and turned around to see Johnny's professional camera in his hands. "What are you doing?" I asked.

He simply shrugged. "Nothing."

"Where did you get that camera from? Why are you taking pictures of me?"

"I had it in my car after I went through the park a couple days ago. And because I like taking pictures of beautiful things."

My face flushed deeply and my eyes went wide. He...he just called me beautiful. The shutter went off again and I rushed to his side. "Why'd you take it then?!"

He chuckled and squeezed me to his chest. "Your reaction. It was natural and I wanted to capture that." He sniffled against the cold.

I buried my face in his chest and clutched onto him. "You're a big dumb dummy head…"

"Oh yeah? I hear you like big dumb dummy heads." He bent down to playfully kiss at my neck and cheek, making me giggle.

"Maybe I do. But only certain ones. Certain cheesy dorky ones."

"Im not dorky! Im cool."

"Only dorks say that they're cool." I kissed his frozen nose, making him wrinkle it. "You're freezing. You didn't even bring a jacket. All you have are your sweats."

He pulled his hoodie over his head and shrugged. "I'm alright. Are you warm enough?"

"No, not really. You wanna take cute pictures of me freezing my ass off!" I playfully hit his chest then wrapped my arms around his neck. "Should we head back? Maybe we can go to my apartment and chill there instead?"

"Mhm yeah and you can give me my birthday sex."

I rolled my eyes. "Who said you're getting any birthday sex?"

"Daddy did." He nuzzled my neck, just beneath my jaw and nipped ever so slightly.

I returned my blushing face to his chest to hide my embarrassment. "S-shut up and let's get back."

He laughed and opened the door for me first before heading over to the driver's side. I shut the door and settled into the seat while he tried to turn over the engine, except it kept stalling. "FUCKFUCKFUCK. Not now!" He hit the steering wheel and let out an exasperated sigh.

"What's wrong? Why won't it start?"

"Sometimes when it's too cold my engine freezes up and won't start. Normally I can get some hot water and pour it on but we're shit out of luck now."

"Oh my god. You and your piece of shit car! I do not want to be stuck here in this cold!" I pulled out my phone quickly and checked my battery. I had forgotten to charge the damn thing and it was barely at 10 percent. "Wonderful. What's your phone at?"

Johnny dug into the pocket of his sweatpants and checked it. It was nothing but a black screen. "Welp, that's great. It's dead."

"UGHHH!" I quickly typed out a text to Quinn, hoping that I had enough battery to tell them to come get us. "If Jae jump starts your car will that work?"

"Yeah, it will. Did you get through to them?"

"It sent but hopefully they see it soon and aren't in the middle of giving Jae his birthday sex." I rolled my eyes and sat back in the seat. "My phone might not make it until they reply."

"Let's hope for the fucking best. I have no idea what else to do."

"I guess we fucking suffer." I said bitterly. I crossed my arms over my chest and pulled my hood up to try and burrow myself away. It didn't work as well and I was still shivering. Johnny was too and he kept rubbing his hands together to try and generate warmth.

"You wanna u-uh...get in the back seat and try and like cuddle to warm up?” He said as his teeth chattered.

It was better than nothing. I nodded and worked my way into the backseat the hard way instead of just getting out of the car and jumping back in. I always had to do things the hard way. Johnny joined me (the smart way) and instantly stuck to my side. I opened my coat and tried to get him in. He laid his head on my chest and wrapped his arms around me, shivering every so often. I leaned back against the door giving him more room to lay down on the seat. His hair was still damp from the snowfall and chilled my lips as I kissed the top of his head. His hands roamed south to rub my thighs, sliding over my leggings and beneath the black sweater dress I wore. “You better behave.” I said sternly, knowing that he would get too eager to be between them again.

“It'll help us keep warm. I swear.”

“Uh-huh. You’re just obsessed with them.”

“I’m obsessed with everything about your body. It’s amazing.”

“Shut it. Why are you giving me so many compliments today? You’re making me feel all...like my stomach is doing weird things.”

He looked up at me and nibbled his lip for a moment. “It’s doing weird things to my stomach too.”

“Then stop.” I whined. I didn’t want him to play games with my emotions. Not while I was freezing in his damn car, stuck in the middle of an unknown part of town, ready to die at any second. Okay, that last part was a bit far fetched but it felt like it.

“I don’t think I want to.” His voice was much softer then and he sat up to look me in the eyes. I wanted to avoid him at all cost but something in his eyes held me in place. Everything seemed different for some unknown reason. Nothing was special about being stuck in a car but the air around us started feeling a bit tense; a little sexual, a little nervous, and a little awkward. “Can I kiss you?”

“W-what? I mean yeah, you’re always okay to kiss me.” That was a strange question. The first time we kissed he took it from me without so much as a single word. Now after six months he was asking me as if we had just started seeing each other. I tried to clear my head as I felt his lips against mine. It was still a perfect Johnny kiss even with the strange feeling before it. Bit by bit I relaxed into him, settling onto the seat as he crawled onto me. His cold hands slid up my dress making me gasp as it touched my much warmer skin.

He buried himself in my neck and whispered an apology between kisses. He adjusted me as much as he could to settle between my legs. It was much easier to feel him grind into me in sweatpants than it was in his usual tight jeans and it instantly made my body react. I was a sweet symphony of soft whimpers as he ground his hips into me deeper. I grabbed onto his ass and worked him forward to greedily add more friction between us. Occasionally he would free my skin from his lips to moan when I hit a particularly sweet spot.

"Can I, um, eat y-you out again?" He asked suddenly.

I pulled away from him and gave him a surprised look. He hadn't done it since Christmas and I assumed once was enough even though he said he enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting this out of him. "O-oh...well sure. Make sure to keep my thighs warm though, ok?"

He nodded like an excited puppy and stared at me. I stared back wondering why the hell he was stalling.

"Uh you gonna take off your pants or what?" Johnny asked.

"Oh shit! Sorry. Hold on." Duh, of course that's what he was waiting for. It took me forever to unlace my boots and kick them off given the minimal space we had especially since the driver's seat was pushed all the way back to accommodate his stupid long legs and I was directly behind it. Once my feet were finally free I wriggled out of my leggings, having a moment where I jammed my foot into the back of the seat. Who even thought car sex was a good idea ever?

"You good?"

I nodded and resumed my spot laying down on the seat with one leg hanging off it. Johnny worked himself between my legs again and thankfully moved his heated tongue through my slit. He caressed his slightly rough hands over my thighs and dug his face deeper into me. "That's good, baby…" I mewled. He seemed to have taken the criticism from last time seriously, putting it into full effect. He was slower this time but keeping a good pace, sucking on my clit before flicking his tongue against it. I grabbed onto his hand that rested on my thigh and folded our fingers together. I gave him a gentle squeeze and edged my hips up slightly.

"That good?"

I nodded and begged him to keep going. He pushed his tongue into me then, circling around my entrance and thrusting against the beginnings of my walls. His thumb brushed against the left side of my hip, rubbing the sensitive erogenous zone. My legs were beginning to quiver and I wanted to grind into his face but was unsure how he'd feel about that just yet. I figured it might overstimulate him and didn't want him to have a panic attack. So I left him at his own pace unsure if I should ask for more. "Can I…" He cleared his throat and didn't look me in the eye. "Can I use my fingers now?"

"Y-yessss." I hissed in a shallow breath. "Put them in my mouth first?"

He nodded and slipped them in while he shoved his sweatpants down a little lower to rest beneath his cock. As I sucked deeply I creept my legs towards my chest to press my thighs together. Johnny took the hint and I was sure he used a bit of my cum and his saliva to wet himself enough to pass through my thighs. I knew it was needed but hated thinking about the process and tried to occupy my mind with the way his fingers just barely tickled the back of my throat. Johnny rocked himself upward this time, brushing against my clit before bursting through the barrier my thighs made. I gasped around his fingers and gripped his wrist tighter, moaning eagerly.

He continued those electrifying thrusts that made my toes curl and calves tense. He was nothing but a string of soft curses, tossing his head back in utter bliss. He moved faster as his desire grew and made my clit throb with all the attention it was getting, making it almost too sensitive. If he kept this up, and I knew he would want to do this for hours, he would cum too fast. I parted from his hand and set my own on his shoulder. "W-wait. You're getting too excited."

He groaned and pouted. "I am not. I'm not gonna bust a nut that quick."

"One, don't ever say that again. Two, just relax for a bit. You always get so worked up."

"I just want you so fucking bad. It's cold, you're hot. Just let me be inside you."

I went to say something but shut my mouth quickly. Well damn. I opened my legs once more and grabbed a hold of his cock to guide him towards me. I was able to see him stretch me apart until he was fully seated inside, both of us sighing in contentment. He lowered himself to rest flush against my body, making sure his warmth covered every inch of me. He pressed our lips together and I wrapped my arms around his back, falling deeply into his passionate kiss.

He began his descent into a perfect rhythm of push and pull, filling me until he couldn't go any further. That stretch that made my stomach ache always brought fluttering wings inside me, even more so when he paired it with sucking my bottom lip between his. His hand set itself over my covered breast and squeezed, rubbing his thumb over my nipple. I still felt the motion and grabbed onto his sweatshirt tighter as I whimpered softly. Suddenly I heard a thud and Johnny stopped moving.

"Ow! Fuck!" He pulled away and held the top of his head as he had hit it on the door, wincing slightly.

I tried to stifle my laugh and pulled him closer so I could kiss the top of his head. "Aww, baby, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Stupid car isn't made for tall people."

"We could switch positions if you want." I offered which he quickly shut down.

"No, I like this one. It's fine." He grabbed onto the door instead, bracing himself to prevent any further incidents. He resumed his thrusting and I hid my giggling smile. I lifted myself onto my elbows to make it easier for him and to try and prevent any more accidents. I hooked my legs over the back of his thighs and from this position I was closer to his face and could plant kisses all over his lips, cheek, and neck, to soothe his damaged klutzy ego. He was avoiding looking at me, though I loved watching the way his body worked against mine.

His eyes remained squeezed shut and I convinced myself it was because of his embarrassment or that he was concentrating on his motions. I reminded myself that I should do the same and not worry so much about what he was thinking or if he was truly hurt. By the way he was slowly penetrating me I figured he was all for us staying connected. That was when I actually took notice of his speed. It was slow; more gentle than usual, almost as if he was trying to make love to me. My heart started racing then. This was way more intimate than I ever thought and not because of the close quarters of the car. What the hell was happening?

"J-johnny?"

"Do y-you like it this w-way?" He stuttered.

"Well...um...yeah it's nice. You can move faster if you want." I tried to break that too close for comfort feeling but he only shook his head and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

"No. This feels too damn good. I can feel everything inside you." He breathed out. My whole body seemed to flush with fever and I had no idea what to do now. My eyes drifted to the frost covered window as if it was a magic mirror that could tell me my true desires. This was even different than the times we had sleepy sex. My head was starting to get hazy with overthinking and I could barely concentrate on how he was making my body feel.

"Johnny are you ok?" Maybe something was wrong with how he was feeling. After all this was for the sake of warming up in the winter stampede. Going faster would speed up our body's adaptation to comfort.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and ignored my question which made me press my hand to his chest to stop him. "Johnny." I said sternly.

"What?"

"Answer my question."

"Don't ask it. I'm ok."

"Yeah but you just seem a bit strange."

"How am I strange?" He asked. I could tell that there was slight irritation in his voice. "We fuck all the time."

"But this isn't fucking…"

"What do you mean it's not fucking? My dick is inside you. Were fucking."

"No, no…" I said softly. "It's like...you're making love to me…"

"W-what? No! Absolutely not! Im just...it's just…"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything, Eri. Just focus. Am I making you feel good or not?"

"Yeah…too good."

Our eyes met then though he avoided them quickly. It was futile to try and get through to him. I sighed and started rocking my hips again, diverting both of our attentions to trying to get off. He pressed his hand against the small of my back, edging me as close as possible as he sat back on his knees. "That's good." I sighed into his shoulder. "Keep going."

He groaned deeply before he continued. "Where do you want me to cum?"

"Wait, you're close already?"

"No! I just wanted to know ahead of time."

"Oh...uh...I guess I could just swallow?"

"You hate doing that."

I pouted a bit. "Yeah well where the hell else you gonna do it?! It'll be a mess if it's anywhere else."

"Ok, cool."

I threw up my hands and huffed. "What the hell is wrong with you?! This is driving me crazy! Just fuck me! Please!" Don't make me think about all the fucking feelings I have for you, you goddamn bastard. Just don't.

"I don't want to fuck right now! Can't I go slower?!"

"Since when do you want to go slower?! The last few times we've fucked it's been hard and fast. What's the change of attitude?"

"Jesus Christ! I just want to- I mean like it doesn't always have to be like that!" He exclaimed.

"Johnny, seriously, what's wrong?!"

"Nothing!! I just love you, ok?!"

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