thinking about being alive being gwyn’s favourite song. thinking about her singing it, along with her lullabies, to tk—as he grew up, as they faced tragedy they could never imagine, as tk faced loss and grew distant and turned to other means of drowning out the noise. thinking about gwyn loving tk so ferociously and fiercely and wholly right to the end. thinking about gwyn saving tk by taking him to rehab and owen beginning the process of saving him for good by taking him to austin and gwyn saving jonah in the last moments of her life.
thinking about being alive and “somebody crowd me with love / somebody force me to care / somebody let me come through / i’ll always be there / as frightened as you / to help us survive / being alive” and how it’s literally the tarlos thesis. thinking about tk and carlos meeting when they were more alone than they’d ever been, finding their kindred spirit, their soulmate, and the journey to allowing themselves that kind of love and vulnerability of letting someone else in. thinking about tk and carlos and the slow unravelling of the parts deep inside they hid, the parts that came from trauma, the parts that they loved about each other anyway. thinking about them enduring together, supporting each other, guiding each other, keeping each other standing. thinking about them being each other’s heart personified. thinking about neither of them knowing what their future would hold—if they’d even have a future—and finding hope and a newfound dream in each other. thinking about them having so much love and being surrounded by it in so many forms, always. thinking about them coming together in a union that everyone around them celebrated with them. thinking about them and having forever.
thinking about gwyn. thinking about gabriel. thinking about tk asking one of his mentors and mother figures to sing this in honour of their parents but also everyone they’ve lost. thinking about being alive being the theme song to tk’s life but representing so much to carlos and his family, too. thinking about tk and carlos and their future and them holding each other, caressing each other, sitting quietly with each other if that’s what’s needed. thinking about them seeking each other out in the middle of the night. thinking about them making each other meals. thinking about them knowing so intimately the inherent pain and grief and untimely tragedy of life but living in it anyway, and continuing on through love and the power of it. because that’s the risk of love, right? feeling so much and being so connected and knowing we’ll lose it one day, but finding so much beauty in it to keep choosing it, to keep fighting for it, to keep on being alive.
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If TK's vows are on the line of "every moment that we’re not married is a wasted moment" and "every night I get to spend with you is worth celebrating" there won't be any survivor here
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QOCC OC Challenge // Day 1 :: A Brand New Plot Bunny
Lennox Garcia
"Last week you told me you were straight, yesterday you stared at my lips for an ungodly amount of time, now you're fully flirting with me? But only in private, because no one else can know you're into women. Marjan, it's completely fine if you're into women and you don't want anyone to know yet. But you at least need to figure out whether you want me or not, because I'm sick of being confused."
Taglist: @eddysocs @ocappreciationtag @foxesandmagic @wordspin-shares @veetlegeuse @raith-way @oneirataxia-girl
Gif sources: x / x / x / x
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feeling unwell………tk worrying he’s a hot mess and carlos joking that he is, but it’s okay because “you’re my hot mess”………carlos trying to stay calm but losing all composure and screaming with his mouth taped shut when tk shows up at the house and trudy grabs a knife, begging carlos to be quiet because she “doesn’t wanna scrub up another mess”
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