#look at atsushi's face

[ssaraexposs]

I'm glad that Atsushi's not imagining the headmaster anymore, and he's picturing Dazai, a hopeful and encouraging figure for him, but... this is still very unsettling

#i know dazai's supposed to be encouraging here but #look at atsushi's face #he doesn't look surprised or comforted #he looks deeply distressed #maybe because he's used to hearing the headmaster's negative words #he literally flinched #poor atsushi :( #atsushi still needs therapy #atsushi deserves love #bsd #bsd s4 #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #atsushi nakajima

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

He looks so tired but he’s like yeah buddy don’t worry you’re gonna be fine asigiri I can’t do this anymore

#sigma looks like atsushi here I’m sobbing #screaming crying throwing up punch me in the face #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd manga #bsd spoilers #bsd manga spoilers #bsd 106 #bsd dazai #bsd sigma #dazai osamu #bsd atsushi

[sugarcarnation]

insane about this tbh

#atsushi looking away and akutagawa facing the camera.. #screaming. crying #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd spoilers #bsd season 5 #bsd season 5 spoilers #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku

[etrevil]

Yes it fucking is you old fart 😭

LOOK AT AKU'S FACE

Bones please don't ruin this moment

#that look on his face: he's not gonna accept that #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs season five #bsd manga #bungou gay dogs #bsd season 5 #bsd season five #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #bsd shin soukoku #shin soukoku

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Dazai truly has become Oda in every way imaginable now. :’ ) the final words he gives to Sigma are the exact same words Oda gives to Dazai in the original scene Asagiri wrote for the end of the Dark Era stage play, 後は頼んだよ, “I will leave the rest to you.”

And I really love the progression of the way his eyes look in this chapter, and how Sigma is allowed to have this moment of questioning and rebelling against all the faith Dazai had naturally been leading him to place in him up to this point, which is what I hoped would happen. He’s been confused ever since Dazai first chose him, and everything he’s ever known about how everyone sees/treats him turned upside down by Dazai’s words and actions, and just when he’s finally started to feel like he’s found some hope and lowered his guard, Dazai pulls him back underwater, instantly reinforcing all of Sigma’s trust issues and reinforcing that he should never believe in anyone, because (he thinks) everyone lives to manipulate other people. Dazai’s dark eyes here reinforce that, too, and the other panels around this point where they look white and hollow and demonic, all like Fyodor’s. He appears like an evil, looming force pulling him back under, trying to kill him, when Sigma is so close to the freedom of the air he desperately wants (aka free from pain, which is what he’s been seeking his whole life).

But then Dazai makes this face, and the first one I posted above, and Sigma understands, even without words, that Dazai doesn’t have evil intent: on the contrary, he actually is bound and determined to save his life -- and the light in his eyes comes out through this determination and kindness, arguably the most light we’ve ever seen his eyes have in the entire manga (in the “I leave the rest to you” panel too). The “No” could be Dazai wordlessly telling him to not leave the water, but my first assumption was that it was Sigma telling himself no, stopping his own train of thought about Dazai being the same as Fyodor and someone he shouldn’t have trusted -- he soon realizes why Dazai stopped him, and that he’s still going to try to save him, that he wasn’t wrong about him, and it’s all because Dazai’s earnest expressions get through to him.

And it’s just so heartwarming to see how far Dazai has come. :’ ) He tried so hard to save Sigma (doing the most physical action we’ve ever seen him do, really), did his best to be reassuring and comforting to him afterwards, and then reaffirmed his promise to ensure he escaped Meursault alive, his final words to Sigma echoing Oda’s and his last action being to save an orphan, just like Oda did in his last moments. Obviously Dazai isn’t actually going to die, he’ll be saved somehow, but I do think as of right now he really does think this is the end for him, and that he didn’t foresee the elevator dropping -- he was examining the wires a few chapters ago because he thought he might need to know how to open the doors in case Fyodor pulled an uno reverse, hence why he looks more annoyed than shocked when the water starts, but here, when the drop collision sequence is initiated, he looks genuinely shook in comparison. There’d be no reason for him to give the thumbs up if he knew more danger was on the way, either; that’d just be cruel. No, I don’t think he saw this coming, and it’s important that that turns out to be the case: it’s important that he spent what he believes to have been his last moments saving someone like Oda wanted for him, and doing what Oda would have done in the same situation. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay that Dazai throws his life away so easily, and cares so little for his own safety; he still has a long way to go in that regard. But it’s still so beautiful to see how much he’s changed, and how much he’s truly begun to embody Oda and his legacy; the fact that he messed up and miscalculated, because Dazai isn’t infallible, but in turn didn’t hesitate to use his last moments to save Sigma. Oda would be so proud for everything he did here. :’ ) 💖

There are a lot of options for how Dazai will be saved, and by who, but personally I hope (and I kind of expect) that Sigma chooses to not give up on him and ultimately plays a role in saving his life, to return the favor and repay him for his kindness. Not only would it be a beautiful way to initiate Sigma’s ADA entrance exam as people have said, but it would bring the Dazai > Atsushi > Sigma chain full circle: Dazai saved Atsushi at the start of the series, allowing him to (spiritually) save Sigma at sky casino thanks to the growth fostered in him by Dazai, and now finally, Sigma could potentially save Dazai thanks to Atsushi kickstarting his own growth (and Dazai continuing it). Fyodor is overly cocky right now and so tunnel-visioned on killing Dazai, it’s possible that he has no idea that Sigma managed to escape the elevator and is now a wild card; even if Sigma doesn’t go as far as killing Fyodor himself (which I don’t want, tbh; that’s endgame stuff arcs down the line and imo Nikolai and Dazai should be the ones involved with that), he could throw a wrench in the jailbreak duel, and help Dazai and Chuuya get out alive. It would be poetic, and only fitting, for Fyodor to underestimate and be outdone by the kind of person Dazai told him is the strongest in chapter 77 -- a self-proclaimed “ordinary man” -- who could only have the strength to take such action thanks to the chain of kindness that Oda originally started. 💖

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 106.5 #meta #this chapter was literally everything i could have wanted i am SO EMOTIONAL #I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT #ASAGIRI GIVING ME LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER COULD HAVE WANTED #DAZAI HAS GROWN SOOOO MUCH HE'S BECOME SO MUCH LIKE ODA I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD 😭😭😭💖💖💖 #as soon as i saw that big panel of his face i was like........ he looks like oda......... ASAGIRI I SEE YOUUUUUU #AND THE FINAL WORDS #I SEE YOUUUUUUUUUU #ISTG IF DAZAI THINKS ABOUT ODA WHEN HE THINKS HE'S GONNA DIE BEFORE HE GETS SAVED I WILL SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST #ASAGIRI PLEASE THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY I WILL CRYYYYYYY 😭🥺🥹💖 #Dazai was so much like Oda here and Sigma looked just like Atsushi in that one panel DONT TOUCH MEEEE #THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS SO PERFECT #I NEED SIGMA TO SAVE HIM NOW #the longest chapter we've gotten in AGES and it was a banger god bless #tbh i really needed this after season 4 lmao i needed a reminder of why i love this series so much :''''') something to soothe my rage #asagiri saw my bitterness at anime sigma and was like 'here u go babe i got your sigma and dazai and oda feast' #probably means next month will be short again and a pov change lmao 🥲💔 #gonna enjoy this while it lasts #anyway i was really happy to see that moment of Sigma getting mad even if it didn't last long (and for a beautiful reason) #because he Deserved that #(because that's what i wrote in my fic and i feel vindicated now even if that wasn't the main focus of this chapter looool oops-)

[note-boom]

Life and Death Parallels within the ADA

Someone in a tag said a while back to throw some of my tags of this post onto a post, and I meant to do it way back in February but kind of got lost to the timestream.

But I'm back and I really do have thoughts about the way the ADA is structured to really be, as Atsushi was told just before the Kamui revelation, a place where the members give the organisation unique strengths that cover each other's weaknesses. And I thought about how there's a sort of equal divide between the older generation (Ranpo, Yosano, Dazai, and Kunikida) and the younger generation (Kyouka, Kenji, Tanizaki, Atsushi) and how each of these characters have both a similar aged parallel to them in the agency as well as a minor-adult parallel.

I'll try to be as concise as possible (I failed), but hear me out...

We have Ranpo/Yosano, Dazai/Kunikida, Atsushi/Tanizaki, and Kyouka/Kenji as similar-aged parallel sets that pair a death-coded individual with a life-coded individual. On the the adult-minor side, you have Ranpo/Kenji, Yosano/Atsushi, Dazai/Kyouka, and Tanizaki/Kunikida as parallel sets in their story arcs rather than thematic ones.

So, to start with the first set.

Ranpo (life-coded) and Yosano (death-coded): I feel as if these two have sort of reached the most balanced level of thematic parallels than any of the other pairings. Ranpo's past was full of this enjoyment with life where his parents' occupations dealing with darker forces of the world were hidden from him. Meanwhile, Yosano's past was full of death and darkness that was not hidden from her. And in Yosano's backstory, she was called the angel of death; in Ranpo's Origins tale with Fukuzawa, he confronted an angel of death of a sort. Yosano was deteriorating into death while Ranpo was slowly thriving under Fukuzawa. And then they met...and Ranpo found someone to bring back to life, and a place in the ADA where he could use murders and death and the darkness of the world to spread light/life by literally shining light on the mysteries, while Yosano found a place where she could use death to bring life in the ADA.

Dazai (death-coded) and Kunikida (life-coded): I think this parallel of life/death manifests the most in their ideals...Dazai's ideal is sort of entrenched in death and trying to die a painless suicide while Kunikida is all about spreading life for himself and others no matter how much pain it brings him. What's so wrong with these two is that they also have inclinations towards their "opposite coding," so to speak. We constantly see people pointing out Kunikida's secret desire to die while we clearly see Dazai doing his uttermost to live a good life and carry on Oda's legacy. Life haunts Kunikida as much as death haunts Dazai, and yet death chases after Kunikida (all the people he's witnessed dying, RIP) as much as life comes after Dazai (all his failed suicide attempts, double RIP)

Atsushi (life-coded) and Tanizaki (death-coded): This is honestly pretty tricky because we barely know anything about Tanizaki. Even though Kunikida and Dazai's past-pasts are still pretty mysterious, we have a good grasp on their characters. But Tanizaki's personality dissonance and as-of-yet unknown past with his sister definitely contrasts with the way we're know Atsushi's past and values. Both, however, are incredibly protective, but the way Tanizaki and Atsushi approach it is pretty different; Tanizaki seems to have this mentality that he must kill the threat while Atsushi seems determined more to save the victim. (I also find that one throwaway about "wimp of the east (Tanizaki)/wimp of the west (Atsushi)" interesting because maybe it's just in western lit, but west denotes sunsets and death while east denotes sunrises and rising, except in Buddhism where the west is shown as a direction of enlightenment(info check?)...which provides another host of interesting parallels to Atsushi and his relation to the book but let's not go there). All in all, these two are a bit of a stretch, but it's interesting to see that Atsushi's mysteries lie more towards the future (usually associated with life) while Tanizaki's life more in the past.

Kenji (life-coded) and Kyouka (death-coded): This one's pretty straightforward, not just because they're the youngest members of the ADA. But you see their life philosophies and personalities lean towards what they're coded as, as well as their pasts (Kenji as a farmer, cultivating life, and Kyouka as an assassin, dealing death). And yet what drew each to the ADA....Kenji was drawn to the ADA after witnessing death after a lifetime of growing new life while Kyouka was drawn to the ADA after being given life after a long childhood of killing.

However, in the end, the Armed Detective Agency is a detective organisation devoted to saving people, and all of them end up choosing life for it. But the different ways they go about it just go to show that you can have any crazy skill and still spread some sort of life through it. All of them are haunted by death, anyway, and yet all of them choose to spread life regardless.

Now onto the second set, which I'll keep shorter by simply saying that the pairs - Ranpo/Kenji, Yosano/Atsushi, Dazai/Kyouka, and Tanizaki/Kunikida - just have similar story beats, in a sense.

Ranpo and Kenji raised fairly happy, rudely awakened by the world, and yet choosing to believe in continuing to keep up a positive attitude; I'd say, though, that Ranpo does it primarily through shutting his eyes to the world while unmasking it while Kenji does it through acknowledging its pain and refusing to let it bring him down.

Yosano and Atsushi both with honestly terrible childhoods spent witnessing some of the most cruel sides of human natures growing up to be champions of life, only Yosano has definitely developed more steel and walls while Atsushi's definitely softer and more open still (they're both crazy stubborn, though).

Then Dazai and Kyouka's past with the Port Mafia and a disillusionment in reality that was abruptly interrupted when they realised they had to do something about it as useless as it sounded; Dazai thanks to Oda dying and Kyouka thanks to Dazai telling her to save people anyway.

And again, Kunikida and Tanizaki's probably a stretch given we know nothing about their pasts, but I really really find it interesting that Kunikida was a former teacher and Atsushi first assumed Tanizaki and Naomi to be students; also, I've mentioned this in other posts but Kunikida and Tanizaki are paired together a lot and have...their moments. It's pretty interesting to perceive these two people with strong ideals that are almost the reversal of the other ("the world for one person" vs "myself (one person) for the world").

But yeah...that has been parallels within the ADA concerning themes of life and death and their character's narrative arcs.

Bonus? Fukuzawa and Naomi....a middle aged president and a teenaged clerk, both protective about the people they claim to be their own, smart in their own ways, with seemingly "support" roles.

#the bonus was mostly crack but i didnt want to leave fukuzawa and naomi out of it #anyway that has been a short look into character parallels with someone obsessed with character parallels... #...whether they exist or not #who knows maybe im just very much... #spitting nonsense #but also im onto something right?? #anyway it means a lot to me that the ada is all about surviving despite what the world has thrown at you #and despite what i said about being coded more one way than the other... #...i also take it back #because what theyve all done is face the horrors of death AND life and choose to make things better...whatever that means #and i love them all for it #character analysis #armed detective agency #bsd musings #bsd #oh yeah but what about that thing about buddhism and atsushi's west?

[monarchamos]

drew some silly little fem soukokus! they are on a double date in a flower park <3

i love them theyre so silly

#fun fact did you know they all have signature flowers? i looked up dresses for their respective flowers hence the outfits #dazai in a dress with yellow roses // chuuya in a dress with red camellias #atsushi in a dress with lilies of the valley // akutagawa in a dress with daffodils #the colors look so ass on my laptop omfg i am going to cry #dazai just like me fr looking at chuuya like that i would do anything for her i am on my knees for her #shinsoukoku were added as an afterthought but whatever they are happy and cute together and thats what matters #god i fucking love chuuya esp fem chuuya like move over dazai my turn #i hope i was able to draw dazai looking at chuuya lovestruck well enough #my friend said she looks like the roblox woman face so :P #shin soukoku #soukoku #bungo stray dogs #bsd fanart #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #nakajima atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #jfc aku why is your name so long this is why dazai doesnt love you /j #MonarchArt #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #atsushi nakajima #ryuunosuke akutagawa #skk #sskk #fem soukoku #fem shin soukoku #fem skk #fem sskk

[rizusc]

atsushi with eyeliner :)

#bsd #bsd art #bsd atsushi #bungou sd #bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #nakajima atsushi #my art #art #zureartworks #this doesnt look like my style um.... #i rarely draw front view of faces uughhh

[jalapenobee]

#the original is under the cut #their faces omg please look at it #btw unrelated but ive had deadly drive on repeat for like an hour and i think ive memorized the tune and some of the lyrics #gr songs are so hard to keep up with but theyre soooo good omg #anyways #atsushi nakajima #nakajima atsushi #atsushi bsd #akutagawa ryuunosuke #ryuunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa bsd #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #art by bee #bsd art

[bcbdrums]

Soul Eater noses are just Michael Jackson’s nose.

#they just look like skull face really #like a skull with the nose hole you know? #but been watching some MJ recently and it hit me #soul eater #atsushi ohkubo

[caffeiiine]

i would like to see either nikolai or sigma's sentences please :3 /nf

THANK YOU!!! YOU ARE FUELING MY TWO FAVORITE THINGS!!!

under the cut bc length. [it got REALLY long]

anyways, nikolai and sigmas prison sentences as they would be in michigan.

note: i’m not using the wiki for this. i doubt it covers everything, so im going back through the manga and analyzing everything from there. aside from finding out manga appearances, everything else is research and pre-memorized info.

note 2: i may have made a few mistakes with the sentencing but it should be accurate enough give or take 10 years.

note 3: there’s no minimum sentence since majority of research i’m doing leads to me picking the minimum years since it usually states “punishable by life imprisonment or any number of years” which is unspecific and sucks so i just dropped the category

nikolai!!! - crimes - sentence - reference state - references/citations

Crimes :

first degree murder [7 accounts]

second degree murder [1 account]

domestic terrorism [16]

mutilation of a corpse [1 account]

shoplifting [implied, counted as 1 general account/misdemeanor]

assault with/using a deadly weapon [1 account]

impersonation [2 accounts]

[1]

disturbing the peace

theft of public property [2][3] [1 account]

verbal assault/threat [4] [1 account]

aiding and abetting

aiding in prison break

drugging [1 account]

attempted poisoning [5] [2 accounts]

fleeing arrest [1 account]

[6]

robbery/general larceny [4 accounts]

unlawful possession of explosives

attempted first degree murder [implied] [7]

kidnapping [4 accounts]

aiding a convict

breaking and entering [1 account]

sentence :

at maximum = 14 life sentences + 61 years + 186 days and/or up to 7,063,000$ in fines; no parole

reference state : michigan

references via michigan legislature : [first degree murder] Section 750.316 Act 328 of 1931 + [second degree murder] Section 750.317 Act 328 of 1931 + [domestic terrorism not counted, i can’t find definitive punishments and it'd probably be with the supreme court] + [mutilation of a corpse] Section 750.160 Act 328 of 1931 + [shoplifting] Section 750.356 Act 328 of 1931 + [impersonation] Section 750.217 Act 328 of 1931 + [felony assault] Section 750.82 Act 328 of 1931 + [disturbing the peace] Section 750.170(?) + [theft of public property] section 750.356 act 328 of 1931 + [terrorizing/verbal assault/harrassment] section 750.411h act 328 of 1931 + [aidinh and abetting] section 750.450 act 328 of 1931 + [aiding in a prisoners escape/aiding a convict] section 750.183 act 328 of 1931 + [attempted poisoning] section 750.91 act 328 of 1931 + [fleeing arrest] section 760.479a act 328 of 1931 + [robbery] section 750.529 act 328 of 1931 + [unlawful possession of explosives] section 750.200 act 328 of 1931 + [attempted first degree murder] section 750.91 act 328 of 1931 + [kidnapping] section 750.349 act 328 of 1931 + [breaking and entering (with explosives)] section 750.112 act 328 of 1931.

Sigma!!! - crimes - sentence - reference state - references/citations

[8]

threatening an officer [2 accounts]

domestic terrorism [16]

unlawful possession of explosives

attempted first degree murder [1 account]

criminal negligence [9]

aiding and abetting

negligent attempted mass murder [10]

attempted first degree murder by proxy [several accounts] [11]

felony assault by proxy [12] [3 accounts]

[13]

attempted manslaughter [14] [2 accounts]

attempted second degree murder [15] [1 account]

aiding in a prison break

aiding a convict [1 account]

breaking and entering [1 account]

felony assault [3 accounts]

sentence :

at maximum: 5 life sentences + 45 years 93 days and/or up to 8,000$ in fines; possibility of parole

reference state : michigan

references via michigan legislature: [aiding and abetting] section 750.450 act 328 of 1931 + [felony assault] section 750.82 act 328 of 1932 + [aiding in prisoner escape/aiding a convict] section 750.183 act 328 of 1932 + [unlawful possession of an explosive] section 750.200 act 328 of 1932 + [attempted (any type of) murder/manslaughter] section 750.91 act 328 of 1932 + [breaking and entering (with explosives)] section 750.112 act 328 of 1932 + [threatening an officer] section 750.478a act 328 of 1932 + [criminal/gross negligence] section 8.9 michigan legislature

#[1] i wouldve included something about his gun but the laws vary so much state by state itd be difficult to find a proper middle ground and- #-gun control laws are really iffy and varied in general with a lot of uncertain elements like concealed carry etc #[2] referring to the poles he used to fight atsushi chapter 58 #[3] not entirely sure since nobody stole support infrastructure before so theres no law for it #[4] verbal assault is an umbrella term so its a little difficult to pin down; when he asks one of the government people if theyre ready to- #-“say bye-bye to their lower halves” going based off the context; it fits the legal definition of verbal assault #[5] taking the syringes at face value and assuming theyre actually poisoned despite inconsistencies with approximate death times #[6] not entirely sure how nikolai got the floor plans to the prison; and as far as i looked; the act of possessing them doesnt seem illegal #[7] its implied that he tries to kill fyodor very often; i cant find examples but 111 fyodor states nikolai has tried to kill him on - #-several occations #[8] at about chapter 72 sigma states the casino is run under international law; i’m not running nikolai’s sentence in japan so i’m ignoring #-that piece and giving him the same reference state as nikolai #[9] the coin explosives being held in a customer room #[10]the coin bombs that were to be distributed via the casino and explode once distributed enough #[11] via the customers in the casino and security; sigma really likes his crimes by proxy doesn’t he. #[13] the gun in the comms room is definitely illegal but to keep things in line with Nikolai i’m not counting gun law violations unless its #-obvious like murder or manslaughter #[14] attempted manslaughter in of itself is a contradictory term; the way it’s defined and the way i’m using it is in reference to sigmas- #-state of mind right then. where he was engaging in a desperate attempt to save his casino via stopping teruko by any means necessary- #-and was not in a proper state of mind to be accurately tried for attempted second degree murder as he normally would’ve been.- #-the legal term for this is “in the heat of passion” i believe. #[15] trying to take teruko with him in death #[16] i can’t find punishments for terrorism so it’s not counted in the final tally #i spent actual hours on this [not regretted one bit] #oh my hod i don’t want to look at the michigan legislature for another month after this #it was so much fun though ty xan #soda incarcerates your faves #bsd #bsd nikolai #bsd sigma

[ssaraexposs]

I can only imagine what was going on on Atsushi's mind at the time...

#i can hear the hideous voice of the headmaster too now #i bet atsushi saw the past version of himself in sigma #this is so sad #give sigma a home #justice for sigma #off topic atsushi looks hella fine in the sunset #let atsushi and sigma bond please #i hope dazai takes sigma to the agency #i need more sigma and atsushi's interactions #look at atsushi's face #bsd #bsd s4 #bungo stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #sigma #bsd sigma

[kyouka-supremacy]

Okay let me clear this up for you:

Atsushi is a morning person (according to the second official guidebook, “he goes to sleep at 9 and wakes up at 5 as a habit from the time he lived in the orphanage” )

Akutagawa is a night person (works / accustomed to work for the port mafia where most missions take place during night, mainly for the aesthetic)

That's it thank you for coming to my Ted talk

#It's very important!!!!! Ryuunosuke goes to bed and he spends a long time looking at Atsushi's peaceful sleeping face that soothes him #Atsushi wakes up to Akutagawa who wasn't lying next to him when he fell asleep– #and every time his heart does a lil flip and he stays in bed for one more hour just so he can enjoy Akutagawa's presence #Ryuunosuke is woken up at 1pm by the smell of chazuke coming from the kitchen #They love each other. Everything is good. #bsd #bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #bsd headcanons #mine #q. #Akutagawa struggles to sleep most of the time (that part is canon) but having Atsushi next to him helps him- #Atsushi's sleeping presence is reassuring and makes him feels safe and even though there's still times when he can't sleep– #at least he can find solace in looking at his boyfriend's blissful sleeping face #Akutagawa falls asleep around 3/4 am and Atsushi wakes up at 5 am that means they get at best two hours of sleep together akdvskzhkebakshsk

[doctorweebmd]

You don't even know. You don't even underSTAND

#that panel of akutagawa facing away....... with atsushi looking up at him #sorry but i'm being torn to shreds #bungo stray dogs #i'm just. i'm. i'm just.

[meebssketches]

i was looking at a lot of atsushi nakajima fanart and ive noticed that people seem to either draw his eyes almost entirely purple with a little bit of yellow at the bottom or almost entirely yellow with a little bit of purple at the top rather than like equal (which is how i tend to draw him)

#atsushi nakajima #atsushi nakajima bsd #bungo stray dogs fanart #bungo sd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd atsushi #in the anime sometimes they look more one or the other so like fair #im pretty sure his eyes are a gradient but like #i just half and half becuz im lazy #wait actually im staring at his face rn and theyre not always a gradient #okay anyway #bungo stray dogs atsuhi #nakajima atsushi

[dazais-guardian-angel]

one of the (many) reasons why this exchange makes me so emotional is that Dazai knows very well the feeling of only ever being used and taken advantage of as a tool, and not knowing anything other than that life. He understands that Sigma can’t yet comprehend the notion of someone wanting you without any ulterior motives, of people just having natural relationships that don’t involve wanting to get something out of each other, because that was his life before he met Oda, who was a “balm for the soul” (in his own words) for him; hence, he doesn’t try to explain it to Sigma at first. But he does relent once Sigma takes Dazai’s initial silence as him being unworthy for an explanation... He doesn’t go into more detail as to why “understanding would be difficult”, because that would require opening up about himself which is something Dazai is still far from ready for, and because he knows Sigma wouldn’t be able to fully understand or accept all of this yet, but just the two reasons he does give for choosing him are already causing Sigma to start to rethink everything he’s ever known about the world and how people treat each other.

Dazai chose him to use his ability, just like everyone who’s always used Sigma has -- but he also chose him to save his life, and to help the agency, people he cares about and wants to help for completely selfless reasons, without expecting anything in return (sure, Dazai jokes about him being on the agency’s payroll, but that’s just his usual deflecting to avoid admitting that he cares :’). This is completely foreign behavior in Sigma’s world, where everyone has to use each other in order to survive, but he’s realizing that Dazai is different from them: he’s realizing what it feels like to be wanted simply out of compassion and love, and not because of how valuable he may be. Sigma isn’t just any other ordinary orphan Dazai saves; he wants to save him particularly because he empathizes with him and sees his old, hurt, jaded self in him, and he’s slowly becoming the balm for the soul for Sigma that Oda was for himself back then, which is truly touching.

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs spoilers #meta #bsd 105.5 #Sigma is 100% joining the ADA by the end 😭😭😭 I just know Dazai has already adopted him #look at the softness in his face!!! he's making this Sigma's entrance exam you cannot tell me otherwise!!! #i know people like to say that Dazai sees his younger self in Atsushi #and yeah in a general more broad sense you could argue that #but Sigma is really who he can empathize with #even though Sigma personality-wise is more similar to Atsushi #but his past and the worldview it's given him of how people only ever have ulterior motives and want to use each other #is more similar to pre-Oda Dazai #he has Atsushi's anxiety and low self-esteem issues but his life experiences are Dazai's #he fought so hard for a home on his own - the casino - because no one else would ever give him one #he never had any reason to believe anyone ever would give him one #he's always wanted a HOME but never expected a FAMILY #but now Dazai is the first person who's ever chosen him for /him/ #Atsushi showed him kindness earlier too but Dazai CHOSE him #both are so important and are having such a profound effect on Sigma #I'm also convinced that Sigma's ability got information from Atsushi before he thought he was going to die about his purpose or something #in exchange for the info about the page #and that that's going to come into play here during the peak of Sigma's development #it all just makes me so emotional ahhhhhhhh 😭🥺💜 i love these two so much *CRIES*