#maintain social relationships

[ubuntu-village]

Adding Up the Years: Eight Habits to Lengthen Your Life

There is a study is based on data from over a million US veterans and estimates the gain in life expectancy from adopting eight healthy habits.

Have you ever wished for a few extra years in your life? You’re not alone! A recent study has identified eight habits that could add up to 24 extra years to your life. From physical activity and managing stress to healthy eating and maintaining positive social relationships, these health and wellness tips can help you stay healthy, even into your senior years. In this blog post, we’ll discuss the…

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#health and wellness #increase life expectancy #maintain social relationships #managing stress #not drinking alcohol excessively #not opioid dependent #not smoking #physical activity #sleeping well

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

#jeeves and wooster #i want to watch tumblr go rabid i want to watch ao3 overflow with jeeves/wooster fanfiction #yes obviously the fandom EXISTS but it's a cozy little neighborhood #a handful of talented artists and writers doing their best to keep their charming little village going #but i'm tired of cozy i want this fandom TRENDING #I WANT TO SEE THIS ON MY DASHBOARD PEOPLE #i swear to you if they made a shiny new tv series tumblr would absolutely obsess over these characters. good omens levels of obsession #it's just such a great dynamic! the good-natured overly-trusting bumbling idiot in constant need of rescuing! #the stoic all-knowing genius who quietly masterminds mayhem in order to protect this one moron he's devoted himself to for some reason #jeeves as a morosexual is just such a beautiful interpretation of the original text #wooster as a happy-go-lucky himbo who stumbles his way into a relationship with a protective caring and supremely competent mastermind #the angst and social complexities of a same-sex cross-class relationship in turn-of-the century london! #oh AND half the stories are about jeeves helping wooster get out of engagements/desperately avoid marriage #two men who live together constantly scheming to maintain their bachelorhood. this is quite literally the main plot point #the gay subtext is there! the gay subtext is there and very ripe for picking!!! #this thing is LOCKED AND LOADED we can pounce literally any time

[canisalbus]

To me, Machete kind of has the energy of a secondary villain/coldhearted side character in someone else's story that a lot of fans latch onto, moreso than the protagonist. Question is, would he be the villain in anyone's story?

Why, thank you! I'm actually glad to hear he gives off that vibe. I don't think he set out to become a villain but a lot of people certainly view him as one.

#in the 16th century canon he starts out as an introverted but sincerely well meaning guy that never quite manages to find his social niche #he was a sensitive kid and when subjected to enough pressure #his insecurity fearfulness and powerlessness mutate into distrust resentment aggression suffocating repression and self-restraint #I don't think he's a bad person in fact he consistently tries very hard to do the right thing #do his job properly avoid letting people down and get through life with a sense of dignity #but he is supposed to come across kind of cold impersonable and difficult to be around if you don't know him personally (and very few do) #people can sense there's something wrong with him and are put off by it #Vatican is a nest of vipers and as the stakes rise he retreats deeper into his coldblooded untouchable work persona #he has no choice but to start lying scheming blackmailing and eliminating his enemies #in order to maintain his position keep Vasco safe their relationship under wraps and his own head above water #essentially playing by the same rules everyone else in the holy see has been playing with for centuries #eventually he loses his spot as the secretary of state and is manipulated/forced to take on a role in the roman inquisition #and if people were sort of iffy about him before being the authority overseeing trials torture excommunications and executions doesn't help #and since he has so few allies and such an infamous reputation he's an easy target for scapegoating whenever necessary #towards the end it dawns on him that he's become the kind of twisted cruel corrupt person he used to fear and despise #and the guilt moral injury and abject self-loathing had largely sapped him of his will to live by the time the final assassin gets him #answered #anonymous #Machete #Vaschete lore #he thought his dream of priesthood would make him a better person more worthy of admiration safety and love but he climbed too high #and got roped up in the dangerous games that take place under god's nose and slowly got strangled to death

[commanderfreddy]

people are discoursing about the laios and shiro fight bc that was always going to happen but i do hope that wave crests quickly and we can all come to see it as what it is: literally one of the best written fights between two people who are both entirely justified in their actions and acting without any malice or cruelty of all time

#theres a tendency - especially in action and faction based media (which a lot of fantasy is or is in dialogue with) - to depict fights only #as happening between someone who Is Right and someone who Is Wrong #and getting to see a full on beatdown between two dudes who are both acting in an entirely understandible way and who both dont actually #want to hurt the other at all - to the extent where their desire to maintain a positive relationship with each other is the SOURCE of their #conflict in the first place - is just so cathartic to see #like unpopular opinion but sometimes you do just need to Fight someone to work through issues youre having #like irl i would not recommend that extent of Force obviously #but if you're two people in a situation where neither has active power over the other sometimes the healthiest option involves expressing #and receiving genuine anger that is not filtered through a social buffer #like sometimes you just need to yell that someone is pissing you off by how much they invade ur time and space and sometimes you need to #yell that someone is sabotaging your ability to interact with them by not expressing any discomfort with your behaviour ever #AND MOST IMPORTANTLY SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE YELLED AT #BECAUSE it sucks. it sucks to experience and until you can both share that space of feeling awful with each other youre not gonna get past #it and you're not gonna understand each other's pain #i think they're both wonderfully well written characters and its a testament to their depth as people that i can so easily understand why #and how both of them are behaving the way they do #im still only like halfway through the manga but it is like my favourite character interaction scene so far #fred says a thing #dunmeshi

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Tok Rev + Text posts

#takeomi has social skills. but not enough to know how to create and maintain meaningful relationships #tokyo revengers #tok rev #tokrev #tr #tr memes #tokrev memes #tokyo revengers memes #tok rev memes #text post #tr shinichiro #tr baji #tr sanzu #sano shinichiro #keisuke baji #sanzu haruchiyo #tokrev shinichiro #tokrev baji #tokrev sanzu #tr mikey #tokrev manjiro #tokrev mikey #sano manjiro #takeomi akashi #tr takeomi

[care666bear]

of course I can’t shut up now, I was raised in a “speak when spoken to” household

#learning I was allowed to talk changed my life #it made me completely insufferable and unable to repress anything #like let me be excited with my useless paragraphs I’m allowed to talk!!! & I love it!!! #I honestly still struggle with it pretty hard in my personal life some days #have me ​feeling like my voice was stolen by ursula from the little mermaid #and I’m still atrocious at maintaining relationships through conversation #I am still unlearning needing to be good enough to talk to just regularly #but my communication skills are off the charts it’s a damn shame I’m not more social #like I got things to say clearly

[talentforlying]

i truly don't think i talk about constantine's generally lame qualities enough because i spend a lot of time on his occult persona or highlighting the lovely things about him that have been lost/discarded in later adaptations, so like. aside from the obvious conning, lying, stealing, and occasional backstabbing that come with the work, some everyday bad habits include:

he forgets people's birthdays far more often than he remembers them, including the birthdays of family and partners. it's going to happen. now, he does have memory problems / usually has a lot going on in life, but he's also always had a negative attitude towards his own birthday and is not likely to consider someone else's important enough to prepare for ahead of time. he'll always go out of his way to make up for it, but a half-assed last-minute gift and even more half-assed apology isn't always an enjoyable tradition when you've known him for a long time. (of course, if you've known him a long time, you might have come to expect it by now. doesn't make it nicer.)

when it comes to apologies, he does usually mean them, but it rarely comes off that way. a lot of the time, it's either a casual 'sorry' followed by breezing on as if nothing happened, or if called on that, a 'sorry' followed with something deflective/self-pitying like 'what else do you want me to say?' / 'look, i knew you'd be upset if i told you' / 'you'd have been angrier if i did x instead'. it's shitty and he knows it, and he does try to make up for it / explain his reasons when he feels like he has the time to do so. but it's shitty and he knows it and he keeps doing it anyway (and keeps doing the things he ends up needing to apologize for too), so, make your own judgments.

he'll often straight up run away from emotional conflict if he thinks someone's about to be angry at him. physically, actually, run away. this can include ghosting people for weeks, or until he finally gets up the courage to face a well-deserved bollocking. he will eventually come back to face the music, but it's hard to miss the initial fleeing.

chronically running his mouth is a given, but doing so even after you've asked / told him to shut the fuck up can also be a given. he doesn't care if it's the mother you're reconciling with, a friend you're trying to ice out without causing further drama, or your grudge-holding boss: if he perceives unfairness or a slight against someone he likes / cares about, he's likely to chat shit to people's faces about it, regardless of social rules/conventions. he's got a very strong sense of justice and very bad impulse control, and as much as he's willing to put himself on the line to defend somebody else, he doesn't always consider the potential for collateral damage to the person he's defending. (mind you, if a hard boundary is set ahead of time to keep his mouth shut in a situation, he will be careful not to cross it, but without explicit guidelines, his instinct is to fight.)

fridge pilferer. he's a surprisingly good houseguest most of the time, and usually asks before taking food from a pantry or a cupboard, but his fridge logic is 'if it's in there, it'll expire sooner or later, so i might as well do them a favor' and take it off their hands.' leftovers he leaves alone, and he won't go for vegetables if he can avoid it, but anything else (eggs, milk, cold cuts, yogurt) is considered fair game.

he's constantly reading people's mail, albeit discerningly; i.e. only if the envelope, package, or return address "looks interesting." he'll reseal anything he opens before handing it over to its rightful recipient, because he doesn't want to leave incriminating evidence behind, but sticking his nose in everyone else's business remains his specialty.

chronic over-the-shoulder phone peeker and reader of messages, he just cannot help it. who you texting, whatcha texting, you got games on your phone, etc. a little bit of it is paranoia, but the rest is straight-up inconsiderate grandpa behavior and insatiable curiosity. he's Learning to be more considerate, in this newfangled smartphone age, but he's not learning fast.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE. #a lot of these are like. everyday grievances people come to have with him but they Are valid things to be annoyed at him about #i'm damn serious all the times i say he's been misinterpreted / mistreated / assumed badly about for no good reason but Also #he's had a lifetime to build up bad habits around social interaction. there's always some shaping up to do #constantine spends most of his life in survival mode. he doesn't always maintain relationships with the long-term care that he ought to #he fluctuates a lot between overly cautious + anxiously considerate + socially savvy and. Emotionally Blunt Hammer #anyway have i talked enough yet. blows a kiss to my favorite annoying irritating loser man #sched.

[youcanbuyasaladglove]

Asuka/Raven is something I do not personally ship because I think it’s otherwise loveless and unrequited but I can’t not acknowledge the secret third thing it is (too fucked up to ignore)(submissive like a guard dog but you don’t want a dog at all)

#what I mean by this is that raven is someone so desperate for purpose that he cling to the first person who gave him that #tragically that person is Worlds Worst Maintainer of Social Relationships and doesn’t feel the same sense of devotion back #something something psychosexual romanticiszation of the divine #in a more abstract sense raven conditioned himself to feel pleasure from pain and I wonder if that includes mental anguish #he was Catholic after all #good lird both of them need therapy #guilty gear #I’m normal I’m cool this Tuesday morning

[freebooter4ever]

i send my friend suggestions of tourist places to see in his new country (his contract was extended, lucky him!) or messages about friend of friends i have living there that he could maybe meet for fellow americans to talk to, and his response is always that he doesnt have time. and not in that exaggerated way that people do to seem busy. but in that bone tired way i recognize from him here in LA, that i recognize in myself.

#jrnlsht #i watch the lives of my friends who have Made It on social media and its like looking through glass into another world i cant relate to #theyre so happy and confident and successful and its beautiful #you know whats a funny thing about LA #so many people on the on*line da*ting apps put *successful* on their list of requirements in the people they want to date #like theres a bar of entry and if you haven't reached a certain goal post like... blue check marks on your social media or a level of wealt #then they arent even going to want to get to know you #and its so antithetical to how i was raised i cant even comprehend #and yet i see it happening to my own relationships #in pittsburgh i had friends from literally ALL walks of life from people who made even less money than me to comfortable to fairly wealthy #here my friends are almost entirely of one professional class #and i have been observing how my hyper wealthy friends self select in who they interact with to maintain this wealthy bubble around them #i dont think it's entirely intentional but its also not not intentional if you know what i mean #anyway its one of the reasons i fucking loved the talk on saturday oh my god those two were a breath of fresh air i needed so much #these smart genius dudes built their own life and instead of constantly looking up for more and more personal gain #they paused and looked at the people still desperately trying to rise #and were like if i have gotten this far why cant i help you do it too and then they DID IT they actually started helping #i think that is the true meaning of success

[harmonizewithechoes]

.

#planning birthday parties is hard #we’re having a combined swim party for the 3 and 5 year old this weekend #they’re super excited for it #and I’m excited that their party is another way for the people who love them to show up for them #but I kinda wish I could be an invisible host you know? #I’m barely a person myself anymore #I’m just trying my best to keep the children and myself alive each day #I haven’t been putting energy into socializing for myself at all #so events like this worry me #I’m just going to disappoint anyone who tries to hold a conversation with me #my existence is a burden upon everyone and I’d like to not inflict my presence on people #I’d love to just not be here anymore #but that’s not an option because my kids deserve to have a mom #so I’ll continue to hold parties for them and make sure they know they have people who love them #while trying to keep people at arm’s length from myself #i just don’t have the energy to maintain personal relationships for myself #the kids are the only ones I’ll socialize for

[royalreef]

(( Thinking again about how merfolk have their violence taboo, but also view danger to their loved ones as such an existential threat that that is the one time that the violence taboo is not only okay to break, but is expected to be broken. And I just really need a good excuse to properly break this headcanon out again, and let Miranda go batshit on someone.

#Most secret royal advisor || OOC #And no matter what you choose‚ you're gonna live it || Wishlist #(( merfolk have a very strong correlation of. maintaining their relationships and social connection as the only way they can stay alive #(( and view death by loneliness as one of the very worst ways to die #(( so. you know. theyll do everything they can to prevent that! #(( and that manifests in the power of friendship and unspeakable violence-

[slugandthorn]

Putting my journal down realizing maybe I shouldn't make a written plan to socialize more efficiently

#.txt #Is efficiently the right word. Diary entry incoming. #Going back and forth in recent days with feeling okay with one sided social stimulation and that's just kind of how my brain works #And recognizing I will not look like a well rounded person because I'm not able to maintain other people's interest in an acquaintanceship #It is likely. At least some part due to like labor isolation and all I do is work I do not have life events to interest people #All I can talk about is video games but incredibly limits the social pool because I like bad games. #And also to some degree distrust and the assumption my presence is unwanted. Which I've been working on a lot! #Today in particular is probably just a bad day. #And I have been very focused on life plans for the past week or so which has become very daunting #Planning on starting a business this year. Which is probably why I'm stressing about being able to reach people. #As it will become financially relevant and not just a personal failing I have accepted. #Reasonably it is probably a therapy thing to address being so afraid of other people. But I do not want to go to therapyyyy I'll do it. #Myself. #Normally. #Not dipping into woe is me I have no one territory at least as bad as I did when I was younger. Recognizing a pattern that I am enacting. #My responsibility to improve. Yada yada. I just wish it was a bit easier to feel my like. Presence. #And the constant improvement mindset straying into never good enough is very difficult to avoid. #And it's not a matter of being a good enough person to have close relationships. But I think its easiest to ascribe personal failure #When you are unable to do something. Well the most likely culprit is probably never leaving the house and being undiagnosed. #Which I can arguably do things about. #Also I'm tired. But I'm going to work on my resume tonight anyway and hope tummy pain passes and maybe talking to people will be easier #Another day.

[haahka]

people who do things: how do you do things

#how do you maintain - let alone start - any hobbies or social relationships if you work full time. how.

[monster-noises]

I came on here to make a different post initially and I may still make that post in the tags but now the main body of this post is gunna be about how weird it is that of all the things I have come on here to Repeatedly Gripe about like some big sad lump I am regularly embarrassed and ashamed to write posts about me wanting a relationship and the troubles my mind has about it? Like it's not Less personal than me writing about any other issue I am dealing with but somehow it Feels Different and I keep shying away from it and it's really backing things up in the ol' noggin, which isn't Great

#monster noises #anyway #here in the quiet privacy of the Tags I will say #I am worried that I won't be able to initiate or maintain a relationship until I fucking Deal With Some Things #Primarily surrounding complexes I have about the people in my life sharing or not sharing my interests #that make it very difficult for me to draw the line between #'it's okay that I like this and you don't and vice versa' #and 'If we don't agree on this then deals off we won't work' #my whole life has been me Not Quiet fitting in in places I Fit In #so to speak.. #and having differing interests even from my closest friends that either get made fun of #though not true nowadays #I have better friends #or simply like.. we can't even enjoy them together casually because they are That radically different #and even probably freak the other person out #and it's really isolating!! for a lot of other reasons involving my social challenges! #and I find myself on Apps and such and in person even too #reflexively writing people off on things that like.. are probably fine #but I don't have a good concept of what Probably Fine actually is??? so like???? ah???? #and I am afeared that this is going to just.. constantly interfere with me even getting of the Ground #and I will be stuck single until I can fucking untangle this knot #but like Cool Rad Cool #Who Wants To Pay For My Therapist For That Or Am I Just Fucked Forever Basically #I Feeeeeeel like actually getting to be in a relationship might help me navigate this because I'm flying a Bit blind here #but you can kinda #see the paradox with That idea already #so like Whomp Whomp

[daisyachain]

so Momoe has a mysterious past. Deliberately obscure. Occupies an odd role in the gender-segregated world of sports. Seems to have had a clean break after junior high. Experienced with the medical system. Bonds quickly with Hanai ‘don’t call me Azusa’ Lastnameonly and Tajima ‘I hate tall guys’ Yuuichirou. Mentorship of Hanai carries clear undertones of seeing herself in him.

#kelsey liveblogs oofuri #it would add another fun and compelling aspect to their relationship to read all 3 as trans #tajima—gung ho about the whole thing. family supportive but a bit inattentive. often frustrated by the effort he has to put in #just to reach somebody else’s baseline (the height thing). #hanai—doesn’t regret transitioning for high school but deeply conscious of the social dynamics. #not helped by generally supportive mother not necessarily being the most sensitive with language. #momoe—been out long enough that she’s quite comfortable but has also been careful enough about covering her tracks #she’s a little…not resentful but conscious of the opportunities she gave up but she’s having too much of a good time to really get twisted #meeting hanai and tajima she tries to give them the advice she wishes she was given #crucial to this dynamic: momoe has good radar. tajima figures out momoe is trans from her obvious hints but not hanai. #hanai thinks he is all alone on the team. tajima is too wrapped up in rivalry feelings to clock hanai. #momoe has no interest in outing either of them but she is surprised that hanai has not picked up what she’s putting down yet #and so the dynamics are maintained. hanai and tajima are captivated by each other’s masculinity and also in awe of momoe. hanai is Afraid.

[roguetelepaths]

I shouldn't have to say this but I never, ever want anyone to read Challengers and think that the moral is "it's okay to have slaves if you're nice to them"

#to the best of my knowledge no one thinks this #i'm just doing some preemptive damage control #anyway Challengers is fundamentally about two things: #a) exchanging power for responsibility #the more invested one genuinely becomes in another's wellbeing the less invested one becomes in maintaining tight control #and b) interrogating the social idea that children are their parents' property #through the lens of a parent-child relationship in which that is literally and blatantly the case according to the world at large #while also being covertly resisted by those involved in the relationship itself #it is absolutely fucking NOT about the idea that seeing people as property is okay if you treat them well