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graveincarnate · 2 years

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KLITZ HEADCANONS!

Not requested

Word count: 516 Warnings: brief mentions of alcohol, marijuana, and smut novels

A/N: I have so many headcanons for him it’s unreal, here’s just a few I wanted to share! I hope you enjoy <3

- His favourite snack is trail mix

- He dedicates weekends to building lego sets with Eli and Matt

- He’s really close to his grandmother and always makes sure to spend every other Sunday with her

- He prefers tea over coffee

- He’s allergic to cats, yet still prefers them over dogs

- He’s a total freak about personal hygiene

- He uses the same Dove lavender body wash as his mother

- He played little league baseball as a kid

- He prefers reading books over watching movies

- He still lets his mom pick out his outfits

- He always gets his schoolwork done at least a week before it’s due

- The first time he got high he smoked too much and became really paranoid which led to Eli convincing him that there was someone living inside his walls, he never smoked again after that

- He takes those quizzes in teen magazines

- He always watches the movies Eli suggests to him even if he knows he won’t like them very much

- He grew up an only child to a single mom

- He still keeps his favourite childhood teddy bear on his bed

- He has a keepsake box filled with all sorts of polaroids, letters, and trinkets he’s gotten from his friends and family over the years

- He practices flirting to himself in the mirror then cringes at it immediately after

- His guilty pleasure is women’s erotic novels. He found one in his mom’s drawer at age 12 and has been hooked on them since

- He adores Madonna and secretly listens to her music all the time

- His first celebrity crush was Sigourney Weaver after seeing her in Alien. To this day he still blushes whenever she comes on screen

- His favourite season is that short transition of summer-into-fall

- He makes everyone take their shoes off before entering his house, he says it’s his ‘mother’s orders’ but in reality he’s just a neat-freak

- He loves nature documentaries

- He always falls asleep first at sleepovers which leads to Matt and Eli pranking him. He either wakes up wrapped in saran wrap or with a dick drawn on his forehead, maybe even both

- He does the weekly crosswords in newspapers every Monday morning

- Him and his mom spent a solid hour trying to figure out how to tie his tie before prom

- He prefers english and history over science and math, but excels at them all

- He drinks just plain white milk

- He can never find pants that fit him properly, they’re either too short on the ankles or too tight on the crotch

- He proof reads all of Matt’s essays for him

- He handles his alcohol surprisingly well

- He doesn’t like having his picture taken

- He has a thing for strong and dominant women but will never admit it

- He prefers lamps over natural lighting

- Ferris Bueller was his bisexual awakening

- He plays chess competitively

- He’s really good at Rubik’s cubes

- He cuddles with his pillow to help him fall asleep

- He always gives his mom a kiss on the cheek before leaving the house

#klitz x reader #klitz headcanons #klitz the girl next door #the girl next door #eli brooks #matthew kidman #paul dano x reader #danonation #paul dano

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emilyan4lb34ds · 2 years

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Movie night // Klitz & Gn!reader (+tripod)

A/N: This one was requested by anon and no I didnt revise it before I’m posting it

C/W: Slight making out, mention of horror movies

Summary: Klitz invited Y/N to a movie night with the tripod :)) How fun

Word total: 1.7K

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You stood awkwardly at the door after knocking. You had stayed the night with Klitz before, but not all three of them. To put it plainly you were a little nervous. Of course you had hung out with all of them before, being with Klitz there’s really no way around that. Not that you minded much. It was always quite fun being part of their antics.

Soon enough, a familiar face opened the door for you.

“Welcome.” Eli said, extending his arm and allowing you in. You smiled and walked inside. “Klitz and Matt are in the room.” You followed behind him as he walked off.

Eli swung the bedroom door open, making a faulty attempt at scaring the two boys.

“Dude.” Matt said, sounding half annoyed. You knew he wasn’t, but it was fun to pretend he was.

You found Klitz sitting on his bed, fidgeting with a rubiks cube. He gave you a sweet smile, waving you over to him. You set your bag down and made your way to the bed. “How is the most gorgeous person in the world doing?” He gave you a small kiss on your cheek.

Eli pretending to gag. “Get a room.”

Klitz shot him a glare. “You’re in my room.”

“Well get a different one.”

“Well why don’t you get some bitches?” Klitz challenged.

Eli’s jaw practically fell to the floor while you and Matt fought off a laugh. You and Klitz getting together left Eli to be the only bachelor of the tripod. Being the only single one came with its fair share of playful teasing, obviously. “I could pull anyone I want to.” Eli argued, to which everyone stayed silent. “I’m being serious!” His voice cracked, causing an eruption of laughter from the other three of you.

“Yeah laugh it out now, I just won’t let either of you best man at my wedding.”

“You can’t have a wedding without a partner Eli.” You chimed.

Klitz turned his head to look at you. “This, this is why I love you.” He grinned.

“Whatever dude.” Eli rolled his eyes and sat in the chair next to Matt.

You’ve grown to be quite fond of the bond these boys have. With as much as they made fun of each other you knew they were still best friends. You on the other hand never really had someone like that, yet alone two people like that. So it was quite refreshing when Klitz invited you to their hangouts. You never necessarily felt out of place either. From the first time you hung out with them they accepted you as an extension of them. It was a nice feeling.

“So, did anyone have anything planned or do we just sit here all night?” Matt asked.

“I was thinking we watch a movie, a horror film or some shit.” Klitz answered.

His response confused you. He couldn’t be serious, could he? For as long as you’ve known him he hasn’t liked horror movies. He doesn’t like to admit it but he’s a big baby when it comes to scary shit. One time you made the decision of trying to watch Chucky with him. By the end he was practically sat on top of you out of fright. Needless to say he couldn’t be around dolls for a month afterwards.

“You’re joking right?” Klitz’s distaste towards horror movies was also apparent to Eli. “Klitzy” He paused, presumably for dramatic effect knowing him. “You don’t watch horror movies.”

Klitz just shrugged.

Matt looked at you, Klitz, then back to you. “Oh I see.” His eyes narrowed as a grin spread across his face. “You want to impress Y/N don’t you?”

You turned to look at your boyfriend, amused. His face flushed and his ears colored a bright shade of pink. Seeing him get all flustered was always a treat. Especially when you didn’t even have to say anything. You moved your hand to his cheek, grazing over his bottom lip with your thumb. “Do you really want to watch a horror movie baby?”

His face grew warm at your use of a pet name. “Yes I do! I really do.” It was obvious he was lying with how defensive he got.

“Alright then.” Eli sat himself on the other side of the boy. “Which one do we watch Mr. Horror Enthusiast?”

Klitz stayed silent for a second, looking between the two of you. He turned to Matt. “Which one do you want?”

“Saw.”

“No.”

“Resident Evil.”

“No way.”

“The Grudge?”

“What? Fuck no.” He sighed. “You know what never mind.”

You gave a quiet giggle, not wanting him to feel bad. “It’s alright we don’t have to watch one of those. Right guys?” You face Eli and Matt, shooting them a stern look so they know to agree.

Matt nodded.

“Yeah I guess we could watch fuckin, I don’t know, mean girls.” Eli suggested.

Klitz’s head shot up. “Of course you would want to watch mean girls.”

“Hey! Fetch could totally happen.”

Eventually, the four of you made your way to the living room, mean girls being the movie of choice. You and Klitz took one side of the couch, Eli took the other, and Mat sat on the floor in front. Once Klitz put the movie in you cuddled yourself into him. Your head on his shoulder and your legs sprawled across him.

“Heads up for you two.” Eli turned to you, holding up his pointer finger much like someones mother. “If I look over and see you two making out me and Matt will ruin movie night.”

“Yesssss moooomm.” You exaggerate. -

Part way through the movie you look up at your boyfriend. His face in the dark, illuminated by the TV was gorgeous. His hazy green eyes under his glasses, his haircut that should look bad on anyone else, but somehow he makes it work. He makes it work well.

You recall Eli’s warning from earlier, but you couldn’t hold yourself back, he was too beautiful to pass up. Your hand moves to his chest and your lips connect to his jawline. “You’re so pretty my love.” You coo to him.

He drags his attention from the movie, to you. He smiles at you before looking past you to Eli, who’s full gaze was on Regina George. Klitz chuckles quietly. He moves your hair away from your face and kisses the corner of your lips. His hand found the back of your head, pulling your face into his. Your lips kissed onto his, you bit at his bottom lip the way you knew he liked. The rise and fall of his chest quickened. He was getting needier by the second. A soft whine fell from his mouth to yours.

“Hey!” Shit. “Do you two have no concern for the people around you.” Eli said sarcastically.

“Dude, you made me watch porn with you.” Klitz responded.

“Shh this isn’t about that. I told you Matt and I would ruin movie night didn’t I?”

“Eli how are you going to-”

“With this” Eli interrupted, pulling your boyfriends phone out his pocket. “Why don’t we see what these two lovebirds talk about behind closed doors.” A devious grin plastered to his face.

Klitz raced off the couch, attempting to take the phone out of the other boys hands. He wasn’t able to seeing as Eli decided to hop the back off the couch and run outside. Klitz chased after him but came to a sudden halt at the door. “Fuck this guy.” He said before locking the door to the backyard.

Eli hadn’t realized the situation, still caught up in having the phone. “I’m gonna call your mom.” He threatened. A few buttons on the phone were pressed until he looked up. “It’s kind of cold out here.” He mumbled.

You and Mat stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Eli and Klitz have it out. You wondered how long this could go on for. Knowing the two of them it could be all night. “Klitz he can get sick out there.” You say.

Eli jiggled the doorknob. “Wait.” He glared at Klitz. “It’s cold as fuck out here why would you lock it.” He started knocking on the door. “If I die out here my blood is on YOUR hands.”

Klitz walked away from the door and sat at the table. He motioned at the chairs, telling the two of you to sit. Rather than pulling out a chair you sat yourself on his lap. “How long are you gonna keep him out there?”

“I don’t know, Mat how long should he stay out there?”

“Oh I don’t know Klitzy. Maybe until the frostbite hits.”

Eli banged on the door. “Now you’re on his side?” He raised his voice. Despite acting pissed off, you could see a smile tug at the sides of his lips.”You guys are sick.” He pulled the phone back out and began dialing something and then putting it up to his ear.

You and Klitz exchanged a look. None of you would put it passed him to call 911 at this debacle, which raised some concerns for obvious reasons.

“Hello? Mrs. Klitz?” He stayed silent for a few seconds, awaiting an answer. “Yes, this is Eli, would you like to know what your son just did?” He crossed his arms and started tapping his foot. “He locked me outside in the freezing cold.....I know!....tsk tsk.....oh you want me to tell him that.....well why don’t you just tell him?” Eli looked back up to Klitz. “She wants to talk to you.”

You got yourself off his lap. He rolled his eyes as he unlocked the door. Without hesitation Eli sped inside, dropping the phone on the kitchen table. You grabbed the phone and put it to your ear, the line was silent. Eli didn’t really call his mother. Sly bitch. “There’s no one on the phone.” You say.

“Of course there isn’t.” Klitz said, not removing his eyes from Eli.

Eli fake yawned. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m tired after that.”

Matt and Eli shared an air mattress on the floor while you and Klitz took his bed. The three boys murmured goodnights to each other before the boy you were laying with turned to you. “And goodnight to you gorgeous.” He placed a kiss on your forehead.

#danonation #paul dano #klitz #klitz fanfic #eli brooks #matthew kidman #klitz fluff #the girl next door #klitz x reader #klitzy

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