#messing me up sm rn. i want to put a lot of effort into it but i'm at a loss for words. i wrote some ideas days back but i've changed a bit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quietimtryingtostudy · 1 year

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Hi! I messed up a lot in eleventh and am really not in a good mental place rn, I'm really good with tech though and was intially preparing to head abroad but can't do so anymore cause my average in my junior yr was like rlly low. So stuck w trying to prep for JEE and have already dropped my coaching - was in sankalp @fiitjee, and just couldn't handle the obnoxiously poor teaching there anymore. I'm with like private JEE coaching directly from Delhi/Kota rn that happens online but frankly I have sm sm backlog I just don't know if I'll be able to crack it. Also, in regular schooling obvi, which is a completely different pain in the a**.

Any tips/tricks/ideas on how to get into a good uni here (DTU, IIITs, BITS, etectera like anything with decent ranking so that I could still try for outside for my masters again with?)

Tysm, have been following your blog for a while and love your daily posts, they really do motivate me to head to the study table : ))

Hey anon,

First of all, I'd like you to take a deep breath and let go of your worries and stress, just for a moment. Tell them to come back in a couple minutes ;)

You have something that I don't have now, and it's something that I wish for- you have time. Realising in 12th that you have to work hard is not too late. You still can work hard and drastically improve your performance in the real JEE Mains exam.

I don't want to give you a big lecture on being motivated and fighting for yourself by studying, though that is something that you should do- fight for yourself.

Even if your 11th went absolutely horribly, you can still turn things around. I have seen people, classmates, who completely changed their scores and performance, by practising rigorously and strengthening their concepts. They were people from whom I did not expect to see 97+ percentile, but they got it- and they deserved it too.

(also there's plenty of motivation videos on youtube and pinterest, sometimes they do help, so you can go to them- just be mindful of the time you'll spend watching them)

Some tips I'll give for working on your performance:

Give mock exams. Yes, even if they're going absolutely shittily.

Analyse your mocks question by question- if it was correct, incorrect, or unattempted. Incorrect or unattempted because you made a silly mistake, had forgotten the concept, or did not know the concept at all.

Work hard but also take breaks- getting burnt out only hurts you, your health (both mental and physical) and your efficiency

You have to have confidence, and believe in yourself- I am putting in the effort, I am working hard- this itself will help your progress (tried and tested)

NCERT is literally God for Chemistry for exams like JEE Mains. Physics and Maths require a lot of practise- you can use PYQ's for all of these, and can access plenty of practise sheets from yout own institute and the web too.

Keep practising, keep revising concepts.

Keep up with whatever they're teaching in your institute. Trying to catch up with backlog while letting the current topics go, will not be helpful. Catch up with the backlog on the weekends, or whenever you get even 20 minutes spare time.

Make a timetable. And if that doesn't work, just be consistent in your studies- tell yourself to study for at least 4 hours other than school and coaching (it's going to be tough, you can set your own goals, this was just an example)

Note- I have to say, keeping up with school studies is important too, because it gets you material to study from for the boards. There's some friends of mine who are now ineligible for appearing for JEE Advance because they did not clear the 75% Boards cutoff, even though they got 90+ percentile in JEE Mains.

See if you have Delhi domicile, still you need 96+ percentile to have a chance at getting IIITD, DTU, NSUT, IGDTUW

BITS is an exam that requires speed and efficiency and immense knowledge. It's got 130 questions, +3, 0 and -1 marking, and has to be completed in 3 hours. It's very competitive, and you need to practise pyq's and work on your speed for that, from what I've heard.

Ah. Well. I hope this post covered the questions you had! If it didn't, feel free to send another ask or even message me, whatever you want. (Sorry for answering this anon after a day heh, I wanted to think things through before posting the answer)

And thank you so much for following me :) I'm glad that my posts help you get motivated to study (PS: They help me get motivated to study too)

Keep working, happily, anon! <3

#asks

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years

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My stomach finally put its foot down 💀💀💀

The plan was 1.8k so I could wake up high and hopefully sleep the next day away but I screwed up. Don't know why I decided to full on eat eat instead of something light to minimize the inevitable stomach irritation. My dumbass likes malt o meal a little too much..

Anyway, malt o meal for whatever reason gives me bad ass acid reflux and that's partially why I eat it sm. Ofc the taste is on point as well but the pain from the acid is lowkey soothing. Gives my something to focus on without pills or going back to whatever sh I'd do in the past. Most the time that equals biting/scratching/pulling my hair but I used to cut here and there as well

Uh but yeah my dumbass inhaled a whole lotta malt o meal in prep for all the pills I'd be taking and it ended up screwing me. I took a good 1.5 before I had to sit completely still to not puke whiiich ain't end up working. Puked it all up and judging how I felt after the fact I'd say a good 400-650ish actually got absorbed but the most of it came up. Then past that point I tried to take some tums and continue on but I was gagging off rip

I tried to take it slower this time by only taking 200 at a time and dosing every ten mins until i was high high. It was chill for all of two mins, then i puked again. It got so bad I couldn't keep water down either. So I gave up and just passed out off the residuals of the first few doses

I'm currently on 300. I woulda taken more but my god.. grandma? Idfk. She called me at like 8 asking if I wanted to go to some family reunion thing and I said half sleep just said yeah not thinking nothing of it. I was gonna try and slither out of it but I was just like.. fuck it. Might as well. I still wanna go home and get messed up but atp im just gon ignore the events of yesterday and come back to it when I get home

Ah. And R kinda gently to stop checking on her last night. I asked if she ate and was worried she was taking too much to the point she'd have another bp attack? Uh. I dunno the actual name that's what she called it. But it was a bit too overwhelming for her as her partner used to ask the same shit like that and it stung to hear all that again. Then she said I don't know if there's anything I can do can help her. Which. Really hurt. I get it. I mean. Having the what you thought was love of your life suddenly not care to check on you then having a random do the same prolly hurts so bad. I'm not her and I know it probably is salt in the wound seeing that I did it with ease but her partner couldn't be bothered to put in that minimal effort. But at the same point, I hate that she sees me being concerned for her as me tryna help. It makes me feel like she thinks I only care or wanna talk when I'm getting something out it. That I'm not really there for whatever. That we only need to talk when we're useful for one another

I know I'm probably just reading too much into it but. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I'm not gonna mention it rn.. even if I'm right somehow someway, it's an extra stressor on her that she doesn't need. I'm just gonna sulk on it got a few days and try to forget it.

So. Anyway. I'm gonna let her come to me instead. I don't want to hurt her again and I gain nothing from forcing us to talk and make her lie/hurt in silence to spare my feelings. I miss her a lot though.. I wore this stupid ass bunny hoodie I have all day yesterday cause it reminded me of her. I damn near saturated the sleeve of the damn thing with snot and tears tho 💀💀💀

Ah but. That's all for now. I'm finna try and find something to keep me occupied so I won't fall asleep

#update #vent #dph #benadryl #diphenhydramine #dph addiction

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theoccultz · 1 year

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Hellooo, how are you? I wanna join your new game , I pick -Whats their current energy towards this connection and you? ( his initials are F.Sh🛹( Sh is a one letter in my language lol))

I am SM( my nickname is Steffie ) and my favorite color is green( but I do love black and gold too lmao)

Thank you💞

Hello,

i hope you're doing fine

Towards the connection:

|3 of swords ,wheel of fortune (r),8 of pentacles( r) ,3 of wands (r) ,justice( r)|

I'll just put it honestly the energy is aggresive a

Ah this person is hurt and wants break ,they are hoping for a change of mind this person doesn't want to impress anyone anymore,idk if you're in a relationship or separation seems like so this person wants to deatch and go into introspective mode ,i feel like this person is tired of waiting they are finding you dishonest for some reason,theyare hoping for a change but dont know at what cost it will come ..... they are in two minds they feel stuck like things are not moving how they want ,this person is dismissive and pissed this person doesn't want to invest their energy anymore they might want to stay in hermit mode to figure things out ,they feel like you are playing them possibly you could be giving them less attention they dont feel like the efforts are matching this person has a lot to say to you but i dont think so they will communicate "now" theyare not wanting to say anything rn .

Towards steffie:

|Hanged man ,5 of swords, king of pentacles,sun ( r) ,7of cups back of the deck |

Oh man their energy towards you is vengeful they cant make up their mind about you they hate the attraction they feel they reminise about the past and how things were they feel like you took their time,you arent invested you show your back to them they feel dissapointed that you wasted this conmections potential this person is projecting ,this person is not ready to accept whatever happened or this mistake ,yeah they want to be petty ...go into ghost mode ,dont want to speak like figure out yourself and what you done to me stuff , they may even feel like you guys are just hurting each other i feel like they have been through failed relationships so they dont wanna risk it now ,they feel stuck in a cycle they dont wanna be on waiting period.

Yeah they dont feel seen by you like you keep overlooking what they are doing you might not give them commitment or they are your potential partner its bad their feelings are messed up and theyare unsure they are pulling their energy back for now ,they need time to think

If there is third party involved or any accusations imma need you to be careful this person is salty they might not tell you but their behaviour and feelings are uncertain its like they want truth of some kind ,the justice in reverse beside the 3of swords upright is giving a clear message they feel like you played them and their efforts went to waste by what happened.

This person could be keeping their silence

While i was shuffling 7 of swords was behind 7 of cups thats why i told you to be a little careful those are deceptive illusion cards ,this person might wanna use other people to get back at you y'know.

Chanelled song :

Giving it all - Tom Grenan

#ask #ask game 2 #vd

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harryimaginedstories · 2 years

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Can we pls get a part 2 to What we once were? Literally crying rn I love it sm

Hi :) Ok I'm really flattered you enjoyed that one!! Like - Honestly it means the world.

I wrote it a long time ago, but the reason I can't really give you a second part is that it's based on something that I experienced as a Teenager. It's a rough take on the first time I was in love and the story concludes somewhat how it ended for me. To give you a "part 2" or really a run down to what happened to the real life characters: I didn't delete the chat. I responded and agreed to meet him a few days later. He was eager to meet up immediately but I managed to push it back to meet him in public and on my terms. It was crushing when I didn't receive the apology I'd hoped for. I'd hoped he would to the very least tell me how sorry he was. I would have hoped that he'd say he regretted treating me that way and that he would change and make an effort to be better for me. After not showing up as promised we rescheduled and he gave me a loose hug, mumbled a sorry and disappeared again after telling his friends "everything's great again!". I was beyond embarrassed. And in all honesty I resigned after that. I loved him so much. I can't stress enough how much I loved him. To this day I'm sure I since didn't love anybody as much as I did him. But he'd also hurt me harder than anyone else ever had. He'd hurt my pride. And to be honest, I think when your heart is broken your pride is all you have - at least that's what it felt like for me. So when he disappointed me with his half arsed apology and in the following weeks tried to act like I was an accessory to him - I slowly became furious. After only maybe three weeks of being somewhat ok again, we stumbled into another situation in which he took over talking for me. He made it a habit to make decisions for me, put me into a situation with somebody else that I didn't want to be in. And while pride may be a flaw sometimes, in this case it saved me. Because I felt so truly angered that he treated me as an inferior after he owed me - well, I basically just got up and left. And then I broke off every contact, rejected any of his advances and disappeared from his life.

I made sure to cut off his friends, too. I spent the rest of the year socialising with other people and built a solid friend group completely cut off from anybody who still spent time with him. I think partially because of my withdrawl he tried harder. For months he called out to me whenever he saw me from a distance or had my friends tell me how sorry he was. It was incredibly hard to keep rejecting the advances, but I'm sure it would have been fatal if I'd let him close again.

While I focused on doing better, he did worse. He grew popular with the wrong crowds, started getting into drugs and what not. He was eventually sent away and disappeared. I didn't see him for probably months, then only once a year - even less. We never spoke again until I stumbled into him years later, drunk and lost it laughing because he'd grown a beard. It's funny to me now that the first and last words after years of loving him were "Since when have you got a beard?" before laughing so much my belly hurt. It must have hurt him which I regret now. But I also don't because he deserves it.

He never dated that other girl I was worried about. She did her own set of messed up things so lots of our friends ended up not really liking her all that much. If he's been with others I don't know, but I assume he dated new people he met wherever it is he was sent to. I'm in college now and changed a lot. I have a clear view on what I allow others to do with and to me and what I'll never ever tolerate again. He's employed somewhere, doing ok I think, but I'm honestly not sure if he managed to get away from using drugs and violence as the answers to his problems. He reached out to one of my friends a few months ago and sounded like he was happy with where he is. He didn't directly ask about me, only alluded to it. She knows that I've got him blocked on pretty much everything, so she didn't elaborate on me.

I'm glad he's got a steady job and that he seems happy. But unless a therapist told him to try, I hope he never reaches out to me again.

This is not a part two but it's the best I can do. And it's honest. x

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httpsgfg · 3 years

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happy 9 months to this bad bitch!!

it's sappy o'clock look away

yeah yeah another one of these

look, i won’t drone on about how shit this year has been we’re all well aware and past that. what i want to focus on is the joy and refuge that i have found here thanks to this album. i don’t think i have ever been this surprised and taken aback by an album before? in the best way possible. i was a casual listener at best, a local if you will. i knew the Hits i just never felt the urge to dive in...but that all changed as soon as i heard red desert. genuine and utter shock? no words to describe it really. i went down the youtube rabbit hole and well i’m a wholeass clown now. i don’t really contribute anything as i can’t edit, i don’t write, i never planned on immersing myself in the fandom per se. i thought i’d just come here to reblog pretty moving pictures and talk to myself in the tags, i had no idea i’d meet such kind and wonderful people and actually make friends? i’ve been in and out of So Many fandoms and never really found that sense of belonging to a community like i have here.

everyone i have come across has been so caring and kind and friendly. i appreciate the effort and love you put into each gifset and edit, every chapter written, memes and all. moreover, i have watched you all support each other through this difficult year and all the shitty hands we’ve been dealt and i couldn’t be more proud of each and every single one of you. simply for being here. know that my inbox is anon friendly and always open. keep on keeping on, i love you!! @karajaynetoday @kindahoping4forever @ashtcnirwin @blackbutterfliescal @cakelftv @mukeaf @mikeycliffords @bandsanitizer @calmfolklore @notinthesameguey @twilightmomentswithyou @ghost-of-you @ashesonthefloor @devilatmydoor @tekweela @ashtonsunshine @afterlows @sexgodashton and a few more words to those of you who made the effort to talk to me bc god forbid i do something first @clumsyclifford bella!! you were the first one to reach out and welcome me here and i will never forget that. thank you for bringing nothing but positive vibes on the dash, and thank you for creating the club and extending me an invitation that i’m still too much of a wuss to accept. discord and group chats can be overwhelming and i’d just end up lurking but i appreciate it sm♥ @rebelwith0utacause ana, my yugosos partner in crime!! where do i even begin? knowing there’s someone else from around here has made me feel right at home; thank you for the laughs, your cool older sis vibes, and everything else in between!! i am proud of you for kicking rona’s ass, working so hard, and being such a good pup mom and carer for mocha ♥живе биле велике порасле, ве сакам♥ @compulsiveidiota gigi my love. thank you. i enjoy our music talks immensely, not to mention yelling at each other during random michael/luke/muke photos spam sessions. please keep them coming. keep on bowling, barking, biting mean people, and being awesome♥

@wheniminouterspace shal. my fav crying-to-mitski pal. i hope you’re catching some zzzs rn and i can’t wait to see you wake up to new luke content!!!!!! also wayf supremacy!! had to put that out there. thank you for our always chaotic chats i enjoy them endlessly. i love youuu♥

@redrattlers em!!! i am still so amazed at how much our music/tv show/movie tastes match i could cry. the shared brain cell is strong in this one. i just know we would be the best of friends if only we knew each other irl too thank you for helping me spread the nbt agenda here. for sharing such good music with me. for listening to my playlists? just for being rad as hell. i love your edits, i love your energy, i love having you as a firend, i love you♥

@lifewasradical amanda!! i am so incredibly proud of you and everything that you have accomplished this year!! congrats once again on getting your masters in the middle of this mess. balancing school and work and just life in general and still finding time to come here and be your lovely self, i appreciate it a lot. all my love to you and endi♥

@himbocalum hi nat!! i remember we started talking thanks to a music ask thingy and me just calling you nat right away as if we’ve known each other forever bc it felt too formal to use your full name shfjlsd. it is always a pleasure to see you on my dash sending plenty of calum content my way. still blows my mind you sat down and listened to a wholeass album bc i wouldn’t stop talking about it. and then checked out the other albums too. and indulged me and let me talk your ear off about them. thank you, i love you and i still chuckle every time i see your url. iconic♥

@kaleidoscopeminds meg. meg meg meg. i remember saying i’d name my firstborn after you/your url and i stand by that. you having a blog with this gorgeous lover of mine line is quite fitting. thank you for the constant supply of quality content be that relatable text posts, stunning gifsets, dead on moodboards.......[i am still not over the one you made for me tyvm] just thank you. for being you. please don’t hog all the talent. i love you♥

@calumsthood san. i am so sorry you had to scroll past all of that^ but i wanted to end this with you. CEO of squish content. i can’t tell you how much i enjoy seeing you lose your marbles over chaotic aussies. even the one i only know about thanks to you. please stop calling your crispee hq gifs/edits garbage. i am no longer asking. thank you for blessing us with on the record footage that you got from music dot apple dot com. for letting me drag you back into nbt. bless you. keep sharing photos of your adorable dog!!!!! i love you that is all♥

#if anyone is in touch with jbhmalum em please send my love!!!!!!#the way this was supposed to go out way earlier but mr hemmings DERAILED me sorry #pretend this was posted on the 27th ok #yes i'm the plague rat who brought the broke!sos thing on here and somehow stuck around #honestly if we have Ever interacted in any way i love you i have so much love for all of you #you made this year so much better and i have rambled on for far too long now bye #x #it's emo hours #this was so hard i suck at expressing my feelings i will just. yell at you in the tags and send you cursed memes #NOT TUMBLR DOT COM CRASHING AS I WAS ABOUT TO POST THIS WHY DO YOU HATE ME #never doing this again bye

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yibuo · 4 years

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Hey, I love your blog ❤️. Can I ask for Uniq full story? I've seen a bits of it online but it's such a mess I can't figure out what's truth. Have a nice day 😁

FUNNY how i received this ask when i was crying about wenhan’s baby angel voice in best friend just earlier

tldr if i ever meet du hua it’s on SIGHT

LOL okay idk if this is the FULL story i probably won’t include details and stuff because i didn’t closely follow uniq during their whole hiatus thing (i had the brainpower to stan one group at a time but now look at me TWO kpop groups AND i’m starting to follow a cpop group AND pd camp 2020 AND am constantly fuming at yibo and xiao zhan’s management agencies for ruining their idol groups )

pls correct me if i’m wrong im small brain ok i’m putting this in keep reading bc it’s too long and a ramble

tldr thanks yuehua for messing w/ 5 guys’ dreams.. even though they’re successful they’re not able to do what they originally wanted to

also there’s this legendary video dragging yuehua

also thank u for ur love sweetie i love u too xoxo i hope ur having a wonderful day/evening/night!

LOOL anyway so uniq is a korean-chinese boy group formed under yuehua ent which has korean and chinese management ... you probably know other kpop artists from yuehua like wjsn (co-managed by starship) or everglow... if you’re into cpop there’s next/next7...anyway they have 3 chinese members(yixuan, wenhan, and yibo) and 2 korean members (sungjoo and seungyoun) and they debuted in 2014 with falling in love, promoted btwn china and korea, released a couple of osts (for like, teenage mutant ninja turtles and madagascar lol lol lol) and then in 2015 they came back w/ eoeo (if you’re into kpop you probably know eoeo at least) it’s their most well-known song, and this comeback was w/ their first (and only lol lol) ep/mini album.

they started garnering a good amount of attention and started to appear on more variety shows in korea and china, started promoting in japan, they even went to brazil in a fanmeet that’s pretty cool lol , (but...why didn’t they solidify uniq’s position in kr/ch with their momentum instead of sending them to different countries??? we love money-minded yeehaw entertainment)

and then china’s hallyu ban happened (which is something that i never really understood and never took the time to fully research because it hurt my brain) but essentially chinese govt restricted k-entertainment from profitting in china because politics, for example a lot of kpop tours and fanmeets got cancelled. and this put uniq in a difficult position because they’re split between being based in china and korea, but eventually the ban got lessened (there’s still tension but like, there’s literally adore u playing in the camp of pd camp 2020 ep 2 so like lol) but yeehaw made NO efforts to maintain the group musically b/c they’re money-minded cows and if they split uniq up into a kr and a chinese unit they can’t make as much money as if they sent the members into acting.... (literally there’s an interview from a couple yrs back where xuan talks about how itd be nice to make music but it doesn’t make as much as acting does in china :-(( ) so while they still had events in japan, they didn’t do much together in their main bases, and acted a lot cool cool

one thing i never understood is why yuehua never just pushed them more in the kr market...there are so many groups in the k-industry w/ chinese members (i literally STAN one, my ULT is a chinese member in a kpop group what the HECK)...but making money right lol anyway so xuan, wenhan, and yibo went into acting in china (and yibo is an mc on day day up), and acting takes up sm time, (gonna quote my chinese friend here who’s a sad wjsn ot13 stan who misses cheng xiao, mmq, and wxy, once ur popular in china it’s goodbye kpop) and sungjoo went into acting in korea (if you’ve ever watched my secret terrius or the disaster that was liar and his lover w/ joy, sungjoo is in those lol) and seungyoun continued to produce and release music as woodz and luizy

but it’s sad because they all trained for so long to perform on the stage as 5 but yuehua’s shitty management in the hallyu ban crisis thing really screwed them over...in terms of being on the stage like come on! THEY HAVE TALENT.. ok in early 2018 they released an ep and in dec 2018 they released their single monster (last single together lol), but again, no group promotion, no being able to perform on the stage, no nothing (oh yeah also yibo was a dance mentor on produce 101 china in 2018 nice)

2019 was a good year for most of the members:

-wenhan went on qcyn (youth with you season 1, the second show in the idol producer franchise) and got 1st, debuting in unine which he’s currently a part of, and got to perform on the stage after years of not being able to, thanks yuehua

-yixuan went on all for one (another survival program from youku), also got 1st, and debuted in new storm

-yibo (as we all know) acted in the untamed and became ultra-popular for his well-roundedness

-seungyoun went on the 4th season/spinoff of produce 101 in kr called produce x 101 and got 5th place, debuting in x1, which later disbanded, THANKS MNET THAT’S ANOTHER STORY BUT anyway i don’t think seungyoun was rigged into place, does yuehua even care that much?? lmOA he was so loveable on px101 and i think the move perf rly sealed the deal for everyone

-sungjoo...was done dirty by yeehaw...he’s a MAIN VOCAL he has SOLo potential but yeehaw just put him in the dungeon thanks.. and he recently enlisted in the army not too long ago

oh also sungjoo, xuan, and yibo performed monster + eoeo together at yuehua’s 10 anniversary concert...seungyoun wasn’t there because of x1 and wenhan performed with unine

wow yeehaw really thought they deserved a 10th anniversaryy celebration LMFAO

***the members are still part of uniq though, survival shows are weird

anyway as we can see each member is talented in their own way and uniq is an unfortunate case of yuehua not knowing how to manage people lol but if you watch their shows you know that they’re genuine and tight-knit, and even though they might not be together rn, in their hearts they’re still a part of uniq (cue pics of their weibo usernames having uniq in them, cue wenhan spamming his dad’s video with “UNIQ IS STILL TOGETHER” when his dad talks about how uniq disbanded) and they haven’t forgotten their identity of being part of uniq even as they get older. their contracts expire in 2022 and w/ kim sungjoo in the army, who knows if they actually will make a comeback but this is why everyone hates yuehua and everyone misses uniq bye

again i know they’re successful individually, i know seungyoun’s able to produce his own music, yibo’s able to turn his hobbies into work, wenhan and yixuan are still able to perform on a stage, they came here for uniq and got separated w/o them ever wanting to

#reply #next thing u know someone is gonna ask me about xiao zhan and xnine and wjjw and i will continue my heatedness #Anonymous

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id-rather-be-an-outsider · 5 years

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tagged by @lucypcvensie uwu thanks for putting up with my weirdo self ily <3

How tall are you? 5′2

What color and style is your hair? lots of people say my hair’s a light brown, but hair stylists say it’s a dark blonde so I’ll trust their judgement // my hair’s curly

What color are your eyes? blue (with these little flecks of gold right around the irises, you can only see them if you look real close)

Do you wear glasses? I have glasses, don’t necessarily wear them all the time

Do you wear braces? I used to, but I developed root resorption and had to get them off early (spring of 2017) so now none of my teeth toouch except for in the very back :( makes it really hard to eat samiches (yes that’s how I like to spell sandwiches fight me)

What’s your fashion sense? so I don’t count most days as my fashion sense bc I wear athleisure ish allllllll the time out of laziness, but when I do make an effort I have two ends of things bc I’m androgynous. so on a day when I’m feeling more masculine you’re gonna see me in a sporty-type-look (spandex, just barely sagging joggers, a graphic tee, my gold chain and jordans, I usually pull my hair into a ponytail and lay my edges), but on a day when I feel more feminine you’re gonna see me in some tried-and-true type of clothes (cute shirt, leggings, heels, jewelry, makeup did, hair down and [hopefully] acting right), but on a day when I’m feeling in-between I’ll try to experiment or be “edgy” (basically mixing and matching or trying something I saw a celebrity do and thought was cute). regardless of any style I’m in, though, you’re always gonna see me with my nails done, whether that means I got acrylics on or that I painted them myself... just know. that’s how we do. and by we I mean me.

Full name? I won’t share my last name, but Eden Amaris (fun fact: amaris can be pronounced two ways!) Is my first and middle

When were you born? December 18, 1999

Where are you from and where do you live now? was born in Federal Way, WA but I consider myself to be from Tacoma, WA as I’ve spent all of my most important years there (early childhood + hs + uni). I now live in Tacoma.

What school do you go to? University of Washington

What kind of student are you? a fucking mess I’m quiet at first, but once I’m comfortable I’m rly talkative and answer so many questions that my teachers will literally stop calling on me unless if there’s no one else lmaooo, I’ve also had several classmates and teachers tell me I should be a teacher and surprise, surprise, I do want to be a teacher for some time

Do you like school? f-f-f-FUCK YEA I LIKE SCHOOL how is that even a question??? to take it down a couple notches, yes, I love school, whether it’s for sports or for learning, I’m always excited to come to school everyday wow what a frickin nerd amirite, frickin loser

Favorite subject? depends on my professor. at this point, I highkey hate all of my classes rn bc I don’t feel like I’m learning anything. that miiight also have something to do with depression and anxiety though so idk what to tell ya man

Favorite tv shows? not a super TV person, but I’m a thot for Steven Universe

Favorite movie? I love tf out of movies, my all time would have to be Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (I just pretend that WftPotA didn’t happen atm bc I hate sm of what happened in it), but in the last few days I’ve watched War Horse (I cried like a bitch lemme tell ya), Secretariat (didn’t cry like a bitch but got teary-eyed) and 42 (I did cry at certain parts but it’s kinda uplifting so ya know, wasn’t super sad) and they were all lovely so if you haven’t seen them yet, go watch them! They’re all free on Netflix

Favorite book? When I was little it was this book called Junket (that thing is older than my grandparents, good lordte), I think some of my favorites rn tho are Heartless by Marissa Meyer and Tales from the Perilous Realm by J.R.R. Tolkien

Favorite past time? a couple months ago you would’ve thought it was crying from how much I did that, but tbh it’s probably drawing, writing, reading, watching movies, listening to music, sewing, spending time/going on adventures with my friends and helping my friends with their lives. I KNOW THAT’S EVERYTHING BUT I CAN’T HELP IT REEEE my most favorite past time atm is helping my friend Charlie clean and organize his room and designing things for his business, also spending time with my favorite little niecey-poo in the WHOLE WORLD OMGOODNESS HERE IS A PICTURE OF HER BEAUTIFUL SELF I LOVE HER SM SHE IS THE SWEETEST MOST CUTEST AND FUNNIEST AND SMARTEST WITTO GIRL EVER AND I LOVE HER <3

Do you have regrets? boy oh boy, do I: taking so long to forgive my abuser (thx for destroying my childhood @ my biological father), procrastinating, not having enough self-love/worth/confidence, being complacent with so many of the friends I used to have, focusing so much on socializing in hs rather than my sports and my schoolwork, being so afraid to just be myself bc I knew most people don’t want to be friends with a weirdo, the list goes on, all I can do now is move past it though so... ohwell.

Dream job? oh SIS get ready for this: sooo I want to own my own business, known as LEAD Revitalization (L for Love, E for Equity, A for Advocacy, D for Diplomacy - these are the core values of my business), which aims to help revitalize underdeveloped and underserved ethnic communities in the US and around the world and fight against gentrification through implementing art of all mediums in or near historic locations in that community that is representative of the demographic living there (so if the area is a primarily black neighborhood, you’re gonna see art depicting black history and culture, and if the area is primarily Asian you’d see Asian history and culture). I won’t get too into it just bc that would make this post way too long, but if anyone’s interested or wants to hear more you can bml ;) like literally bc I’m passionate af about it so I will talk your head off for days on end if given the chance

Would you ever like to be married? yes

Would you like kids? yes

How many? two or three of my own (I’m hoping for a girl and a boy) just so I can have the experience of having kids, but once they’re grown and out of the house I would like to adopt more if I have the resources to. my cousin’s adopted, so like, idk. I think that if you can adopt a kid, you should, bc there’s so many of them just stuck in the foster system and that’s complete bs

Do you like shopping? yes but I usually don’t like getting myself things (unless if we’re talking groceries or something I actually need), I love to buy things for other ppl tho if I can

What countries have you visited? canada for like 3 days technically, I just went to Mt. Whistler for spring snowboarding (that shit hurted) with my aunt bc she paid for the whole thing and my passport

Scariest nightmare you have ever had? TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE - I had a nightmare awhile ago that this guy I used to be involved with raped me, I also used to have recurring nightmares after I stopped going to my biological father’s house for visitation where he would come searching for me trying to kill me and my older brother (he’s tried to kill me 3+ times sooo... it makes sense). so like. fun.

Any enemies? S A T A N and myself, or.... my brain, I guess. idk.

Self-doubt? you betcha

Any significant other? kinda? I’m currently fwb with my ex and still have feelings for him (oopsies), we split bc he was going through shit and needed to figure himself out, I’ve been close to him for a phat minute so I’m not really trippin about it. I also have crushes on other people, but nothing’s presented itself as something worth pursuing yet so. yakno.

Do you believe in miracles? lmao I would fuckin hope so, the very fact that I’m alive rn is a gd miracle so yea

How are you? I am so-so. If we’re just talking about today, I’m prolly fine, but if we’re talking long term, I’ve been going through it. I’m just trying to figure myself out atm, and it’s rough, but I’ll probably get there. My friends think I will, at least.

i tag: @crookedly-rainy @secretpatrolpiespy hi I don’t have any other friends on Tumblr so I tagged my friends from Amino Y E E T

#tag game #outsider rambles

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coalessscence · 5 years

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The Big Mun Questionnaire Thingamajig— answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

tagged by: @patiencetaught !! thank u sm my babe! tagging: UHHH ok imma try my best here, @zerotoherc, @gentlegently, @dvstv, @infcrtunii, @gvtshct, @skepticspooked, @skepticreal, @kradljivac, @bruadcr, @prctextlve, @amourfugitif, @keepgcing, @17escapes, @scaredvicious, @surrepo-iuvenisdomina, @withhclding, @femmeveined, @dyingthing, @thriceflamed, @axisii I THINK THATS 2O OF U and uhhhh whoever else wants to ???

nicknames: none that i know of?

zodiac: libra

height: 5′ 2

time: 9:24 a.m.

favourite band / artist: it’s hard for me to have just One (1) fave but if forced to arbitrarily make a choice i will say currently working fave is a toss up between panic! at the disco and marina & the diamonds, all time fave regardless of the fact that they are not together anymore is triumph, and/or rik emmet as a solo artist after triumph broke up, even though he’s now getting ready to retire

song stuck in my head: literally was humming “fuck up” by shane dawson all last night and this morning. i am currently listening to twtltrtd (its a panic album that has a long ass name dw abt it lol) so technically its not in my head rn but im sure it will be later.

last movie i saw: in my psych class we had to watch that movie with all the emotions in the girl’s head that the “do you ever wonder what is going on inside someone’s head” meme is from what is it called akdhffhg UPDATE: after much meme googling the last movie i saw is called inside out

last thing i googled: literally the entire text of the what is going on inside their head meme to find the name of that movie lol but before that, it was ‘sniper elite 3 siwa oasis’ bc i was looking smth up for my dad who was stuck on a level in a video game lol

other blogs: i no longer have any other rp blogs, just this one!

do i get asks: sometimes i do get memes and sometimes i even get those kindness campaign or similar messages which is hella rad and y’all are a buncha babes ok ily

why did i choose this username: uuuuh so basically i had like, a LOT of single muse blogs and brought them all together to this multi. so the word coalesce was relevant bc to coalesce means “to come together, to form one mass or a whole”. coalescence is like, the verb?? version of that word ??? idk how grammar works but basically thats the other tense of coalesce and it looked pretty so i chose it. then i just added S’s until the url wasn’t taken and here we are lol

following: 709 i need 2 stop

average amount of sleep: like, 5-6????

what i’m wearing: normally i make an effort to display Style and Fashion (tm) but atm i’m in pajamas lol rip i guess

dream job: i rly want to be an entertainer ???? like idk. i wanna have a youtube channel. i wanna get to work on tv somehow, i wanna be on a radio show or podcast, i wanna write a book, i wanna put out an album and tour on it, i wanna be a model. i wanna build my own career based on doing a lot of different kinds of things that are fun for me to do and even more fun for other people to consume as content/media, but find the common thread in all of those things being my brand??? which sounds literally crazy i know but idk. with the internet doing what the internet has done for everyone i think its more possible now than ever so who knows. but i’m going to school for computer science so idk if that will EVER happen lol

dream trip: i honestly don’t know.... there are places i wanna go, like japan, but idk. i RLY wanna do that thing where you go from one end of the US to the other on the amtrak train with a good friend ??? and just see my own country and stop off in stations in little towns and see what people’s lives there are like ??? i just think that would be really neat. i’d make a video series about it.

favourite food: nearest food. nearest food is favorite food.

play any instruments: kind of sort of guitar/ukulele/piano also does singing count as an instrument? but at the same time god help me i probably sound terrible at all of them in reality so dont bet on it

eye colour: brown

hair colour: just as brown

languages you speak: english, know some very basic basic spanish and i barely know like five words and 2 of the 3 alphabets in japanese (one day when i have time to do things and can spend less time being Stressed & Depressed (tm) i would like to be halfway fluent in spanish, japanese, korean, and hawaiian. if the resources become available to do so i would love to learn pottawatomie as well, which is the native language of the tribes where i am from, which is a big part of the culture there still (tho there are dwindling native speakers of the language itself and not a lot of resources atm, altho conservation efforts are being made).

most iconic song: im gonna be honest with you, the first thought i had upon reading this was all star, and i cant say im fully committed but im not gonna sit here for twenty minutes analyzing this answer so ????? its all star fight me

random fact: i need to wash my heckin makeup brushes more often bc damn im a Mess

describe yourself as aesthetic things: a pastel pink shirt that reads ‘empty inside’ in fanciful cursive. bright 80s colorblocking covering the void in your soul. white and gold christmas decor that’s still up mid january. a bed that used to be made but was rumpled by sitting on it. getting a hand cramp from taking notes with a glitter gel pen. a collection of handcreams in various airy scents. a heaviness in your bones that you can’t escape from. the fallout from rainbows of makeup smeared onto a desk. paint chipping off where your wrists touch a laptop from overuse. an adorable hair ribbon paired with a leather jacket. the tragedy of emotion. self deprecation that edges into mirth. being self aware of an unhealthy nature. kawaii smeared by the remains of an emo phase that never happened and invaded by the jewel toned velours of modern day culture.

#that aesthetic tag section is way too dramatic lol but listen...... i Tried Hard #and i think its accurate #ANYWAYS #THANK U FOR TAGGING ME MY BABE SORRY IT TOOK ME 10 YEARS TO DO IT #⌲ t a g s #⌲ m u n t h i n g s #⌲ m u n s p e a k #⌲ o o c #⌲ i don't wanna feel Q U E U E anymore

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kkukkung · 7 years

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Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right

big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2

tardy replies as usual under the cut!

(sorted from oldest to newest)

I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty

hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!

annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!

(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t

another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through

(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...

i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...

JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics

Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?

it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(

soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent

The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER

yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk

u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀

im a @fhiz stan it’s the same thing tbh

ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;

this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(

i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +

(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm

maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??

i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later

wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked

i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...

#i planned 2 answer more but im... sleepy...#soon... i will... catch up... and make this blog neater + more navigation-friendly #ask #compilation #Anonymous

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survivorunfinishedbusiness · 6 years

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Episode #2 - “Once I’m Not A Moron, It’s All Over For You Hoes” - Mo

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175414062308/immunity-challenge-2

I'm shook that I survived, but I'm even more shook that I didn't even get any votes. Wig slightly blown away. So anyways time to not pretend my computer is dead and to actually do work in this challenge. Andrew wants to create a solid 4 in the likely case that we go to tribal. I think that's important too. Ideally I would want Anna Andrew and Jake. And i think Nicole would go cause she's not that social but that's all just conjecture.

So the twist was a little unsurprising, I called it the night before when I was talking with Amanda. Dani wants to align with me and Nicholas. (She originally wanted Bodhi but I excluded Bodhi because I thought that'd be my alliance's first target and I felt I could avoid bloodshed.) HOWEVER, after discussing it, the Night Owls decided that Nicholas would be the first target if we go to tribal, which with this twist is pretty likely. However unless I do some suave talking, planning, and convincing, I'm likely to hurt someone in a potential tribal. I'm stuck between a rock and a knife and my only salvation is immunity. Lord have mercy on my soul. T.T

So far, I like Amanda and Dani, unfortunately they aren't currently aligned but they aren't opposed to eachother either. Meanwhile I'm happy that either Bodhi or Nicholas are likely to go IF we go to tribal, Nicholas is a threat if he meets up with his allies from earlier seasons, and Bodhi, well he seems like he has a bit of a hot-streak. Timmy and Colin, I'm aligned with both of them, but I feel relatively indiffierent when it comes to them. I also realized now that the revealing idol locations thing is such a waste. (Basically after this challenge is over, the entirety of the Reef and the Summit will have been searched.)

[6/29/2018 2:44:35 AM] Amanda Lynn (Athena Admin): Yeah same, I've talked to both of them a little bit and they both seem alright. [6/29/2018 2:45:07 AM] Kori Green: I definitely adore Colin and Timmy though, and I definitely feel like the foursome we have can be REALLY solid. [6/29/2018 2:45:36 AM] Amanda Lynn (Athena Admin): Oh definitely. I'm really pleased with how that group came together [6/29/2018 2:46:41 AM] Kori Green: Yeah, hopefully we can stick together deep into the game, obviously swaps will happen and that might jumble things a bit. (As they do. -.-) But hopefully we all go far. [6/29/2018 2:47:15 AM] Amanda Lynn (Athena Admin): Hopefully the survivor powers that be will keep us all together! [6/29/2018 2:47:29 AM] Kori Green: I just keep thinking, 21 people wow, this is gonna be an incredibly long game if we DO in fact go deep. xd [6/29/2018 2:47:57 AM] Amanda Lynn (Athena Admin): Oof yeah I see a 60 day game, easily [6/29/2018 2:48:08 AM] Kori Green: The only other twist I worry about breathing into existence is a Double-Tribal scenario where one tribe wins and the other two tribes vote a player out each. (A series of logs that showcase my working with Amanda... and my extraordinary psychic abilities.)

MY ASS JUST FOUND THE IDOL BITCHES! U ALL BETTER WATCH TF OUT! IM HERE TO WIN <3

Amanda made a really good point when I was on call with her; She said that the immunity challenge post only said that two people will be leaving, not that there will be two separate tribal councils. So it could be one tribal where the top two vote getters leave which is extremely scary. Now we're going to be fighting a lot harder in the challenge but if we do lose I would much rather lose with Talio than with Vindicta just because of who is on that tribe. It would be so easy to take out Nicholas if it is two separate tribal councils since we have the numbers and he has people who he would never vote out on other tribes, but if we go to tribal with Vindicta, Julia is there so he will vote with her. I don't want a situation to arise where I feel like I need to go against my alliance because it is so early and I trust them. But if something does happen I would want Amanda to know because I don't want to go against her. She is who I trust the most right now and I want to go far in this game with her. As for this challenge, she made a study guide for it and I am really grateful for all the effort she has done with this challenge because it gives us a great chance to win. I'm probably going to have a paper in front of me that is just all of that information copied so I don't have to worry about switching tabs to that and risk it not loading fast enough.

Well I'm sitting out, which basically means if we lose the challenge it can't even remotely be my fault. I'm still working out a plan if we do lose, if I can find a way to keep Dani still aligned to me after a potential tribal council we'll be golden.

Okay so I'm playing really crackedt but I think I'm genuinely playing out a good strategy rn?? my plan is to, like, take the current alliance I have and RUN with it. I want a clear tribe divide, us vs them mentality, flat out DISCOURSE. Amanda is v v honestly my closest ally and I think her and I are kinda on the same wavelength. We want to keep Dani, Nicholas and Bodhi completely in the dark if we do go to tribal. We have a plan that should work, so they won't even know there's a tribe divide until after the votes are ready. The only thing standing in the way of this right now is Kori. I love him sm and I trust him entirely, but he seems like he might have ties to Dani. I gotta find a way to cut that so it doesn't become a future problem. But I think for the most part this is gonna work really well for me hehe. and I def look forward to playing a super crackedt game this season!

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175456874288/immunity-results-2

Talio wins immunity, sending Vindicta & Audax to tribal.

McFUCK WE LOST. Ryan was the only one who scored points because I had shitty internet and a lack of confidence. Just wait, once I’m not a moron it’s all over for you hoes.

Im gonna be honest I’m not in the mood nor do I wanna put effort into being all quiet and secretive in pm’s. So I just decided to throw Ryan M. into the spotlight because the guy hasn’t done anything. I mean I feel like it’s the obvious choice to vote him out because he’s been so inactive. So I just said who I was voting for in main chat. This could backfire on me but Im trying to be assertive and bold.

SADNESS!!!!!!!!!! I AM SAD! :(

ok so we lost and its totally because my internet wasnt working...i would have killed this if my internet wasnt such shit...but now we are going to tribal...and i really want mo out....but its gonna be impossible to convince these people to do that instead of voting ryan m...so im hoping we can just find the idol so he can save himself that way....john and mo need to go they have too many allies on the other tribes

HELLO ATTENTION WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!! I have gone to every single tribal in my Athena history and this tribal guess who's NOT GONNA BE ATTENDING? ? ? ? ? THIS FUCKING CHICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy i deserve this. anyone who watched Hogsmeade KNOWS how much i deserve this. im just ELATED RIGHT NOW I LOVE TALIO SO MUCH I HAVE THE BEST TRIBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we lost :( sad but its ok because we've already discussed this possibility and we have a plan so ? wig? less first tribal stress for me!

GUESS WHAT THE FUCK I FOUND BITCHES! Day 2 I found the legacy advantage, and day 4 I found the fucking IDOL. I'm ready to use these to the best of my abilities. If I have any fucking feeling that I'm going home I'm pulling that idol right outta my cooch and using it! Dana gave some good fucking advice.

Welp, I'm now in the complex situation of 2 alliances, (Amanda, Colin, and Timmy) as well as (Dani, Bodhi, and Nicholas). While I definitely feel more comfortable with Amanda Colin and Timmy, I worry if they are more competent than me, I might be feeding a goat game. Meanwhile I can't feel myself trusting Bodhi or Nicholas, but Dani I feel a real connection to. If I vote with the Night Owls, Nicholas is going home, meanwhile if I vote with the "Audux Majority" it's likely Amanda who goes home. This vote could have a very big impact, both on my game and the direction of everything as a whole. Regardless of who I vote, there is bound to be hurt feelings, and I can't throw my vote as that'd just lead to a tie, and then I'd have to choose AND I'd lose trust from all sides as I'd look wishy-washy.

I might be going home tomorrow but I feel god in this chili’s tonight.

Kori is so dumb. He's now trying to play both sides of the game. And he's doing it TERRIBLY. He's throwing me under the bus and trying to spread information that doesn't need to be spread. if he fucks up the plan to get Nicholas out tonight I'm gonna be so angry. Like this is way messier than it needs to be, solely because of Kori. We're just supposed to blindside Nicholas and use Bodhi as a decoy to flush idols, but he's trying to do damage control and add all these layers that don't need to be added. Idk where his loyalties lie. He had a strong majority alliance but now none of us in it trust him. He done played himself!!

This vote is a hot mess, it's either Timmy or Nicholas at the surface, but we'll see what happens, an idol play or something else crazy could easily derail everything. Whatever does happen there is gonna be a lot of broke pieces to pick up post-tribal and I hope I can keep myself afloat.

Honestly, what the fuck is happening. It is week 2 and I don't need this stress, like we have a solid group voting for Nicholas there shouldn't be this much drama dealing with 3 other people. Right now though Nicholas should be feeling very safe because his name hasn't been thrown out there because the plan was to say Bodhi and then somehow my alliance decided, WITHOUT TELLING ME, that it would be a good idea to get my name out there too. Like wtf is that. I don't mind too much because we have the numbers, but let me know if you're going to do that before you do it. As long as Nicholas goes this round that is all that matters.

i got some piping hot tea ladies..... i think isaac is trying to start things bc idk how much i can trust him but apparently he told blake that ryan m doesnt like me or blake... which sounds really sus but i dont like ryan m anyway so he's gotta go!!! i dont think im getting votes this round .. maybe from ryan m .. but definitely not majority because i have my alliance and i think john and mo like me a lot... and OH YA! we have the idol so we dont need to worry about anyone idoling.. hopefully i survive this vote!!

So so so so SO happy my tribe won this immunity! I did not want to go to tribal again, and now I’m guaranteed at least final 18. I also went to Andrew before this and said that we should make a solid group, pushing for him to do it because I did not want to get the blood on my hands in case something went wrong (sarry babe) I knew he liked Kevin so I suggested him as a core 3, and as a 4th he suggested Anna which I’m fine with. SO with that, Wigs was birthed. I also have a 2 person alliance with just... Nathan lmao. So that leaves Nicole out of it but I’m pretty sure Nathan is closer to her or something. But I don’t think any of it matters because I have a hunch that we’re gonna swap tribes next round ugh. I’m nervous but hoping that I stick with my WIG allies and maybe meet up with people like Timmy and Bodhi who I think will have my back :) And if anything, I still have Luke’s idol tucked hidden in my crotch x

The vote this round kept fliping because this game is full of crackheads. Also apparently Amanda Lynn is homophobic? Shook.

So some updates! Julia is wonderful - we send each other pics of monkeys and alpacas. Blake is still pretty cool as well. We lost the challenge and it turns out ryan Matthew still hasn't talked to anybody. I hate it because I don't want to write his name down, I enjoy working with him in games but this doesn't seem like the best time for him. And looking down the line it could be good to not have somebody in the game I'm going to be paired with. Ry gave me permission to vote for him. Hopefully by voting out my final 2 it will give me a better chance at making the final 2.

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175487781483/tribal-council-2-audax

Nicholas is voted out 4-3. You can watch his preseason interview here.

WTF IM MAKING A VIDEO DR LATER TONIGHT INHAVE SOO MUCH TO SAY! Omg NICHOLAS OVER STAND FOR THE FLAG AND KNEEL FOR THE CROSS ALLIANCE?!? I’m shook!

So I've been busy yeah. Coming into this game I was hoping for more challenges that require individual strength rather than team collaboration. Mo tried to call me out, which isn't a good look. He won't get far, trust me. I know I'm leaving. RTP and John wanted me to stay and we tried something by getting a fourth but it's not going to work out. I told them to vote me out. It's okay. I find the people here ingenuine. They play how I used to. I won a bunch of games by messaging people every day like Blake and Julia but didn't always leave with new friends. I just don't know how to be fake anymore. I only like talking to people if I want to. My final thoughts are that Blake and Mo can choke. Julia eh. Isaac is okay. and RTP and John are so cute.

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175488601538/tribal-council-3-vindicta

Ryan M. is voted out 6-1. You can watch his preseason interview here.

#writeanewchapter #episodes

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