#mourning rewatches glee

[bansheeheart]

I think Tina Cohen-Chang should have been gay send post

#mourning.txt #mourning rewatches glee

[thyandrawrites]

Rewatching the todofam hospital scene in the anime made me realize that the twisted irony in Enji feeling sorry for himself, and why it really rings hollow as a display of regret, is that unlike him, his first victim has completely lost his ability to cry. Tho Touya should be the one weeping about the absolute injustice he suffered through, he simply...can't anymore. And he has to live with that. With the fact that people misconstruct his frantic crying for sadistic glee, now that he doesn't have working tear ducts anymore.

His abuser, however, can still weep as many crocodile tears as needed to assure his conscience that he mourned the future he cut short, and then people will gather around his bedside and pat his back for doing the bare minimum—that is, showing a moderate amount of regret for five whole minutes, and then moving on with his life.

And idk, I know Enji's remorse was supposed to be genuine, but the fact that he can turn it on and off at will, while Touya's closest thing to showing his sorrow is crying literal blood?

That's some kind of poetic, cruel irony.

#Thyandra.txt #Ok I'll go back to my cave now #This made me indescribably sad

[tuiyla]

I'm curious to read your in-depth thoughts on the Pezberry feud. I remember being so frustrated by it back when Glee was airing bc I thought it only happened to keep Lea and Naya away from each other due to their own feud irl (which was revealed at the end of s5 and led to Naya being written out of the finale). I think we probably would have gotten more Pezberry and Kurtcheltana scenes if Lea Michele hadn't been so insufferable. In any case, hopefully you'll provide a Watsonian perspective that will allow me to appreciate the Pezberry feud more lol.

I go wild whenever someone speaks my language yes Anon I'll be on that Watsonian analysis you know it <3

I think I'm much calmer about the feud than I used to be, mostly because I'm sad instead of upset and I don't go on reddit anymore where I had to witness a "wHO wAs RigHt" poll every week. But also because I've made peace with it on a Watsonian level so when, if ever, I get to the feud in my rewatch I think I'll be ready to cover it. I rewatched a tiny bit of those scenes for giffing purposes recently and I was like damn okay so this is how it went down, I could make sense of this. Unfortunately that won't be tomorrow but hopefully not in ages?

I'm not sure how much of it was actually inspired by Naya and Lea's IRL relationship and, as I always say, not my place to speculate. I would guess that the feud was written before they really imploded in real life but again, I don't think it's for us to know and speculate. I 100% blame Lea for Naya's absence in 5x20 (well, 90%) but I don't think the feud was that inspired by real life. I'll just choose to take Naya's word about their falling out i.e. that it was wildly blown out of proportion by the tabloids. I do mourn the wasted Kurtcheltana potential of season 6 though. Now that makes me immensely sad.

#anon #glee asks #pezberry asks #pezberry feud #we'll get there one day #i once thought i'd never be strong enough to cover it but you know i think i can

[televinita]

Glee Re-watch: The Rhodes Not Taken

[note: found this deep in my drafts from late 2021; I think I was going to rewatch it one more time to see if I wanted to add anything before posting? but meh, now I just wanna share]

Randomly browsing Netflix, lingered sadly over the show they’re going to take from me soon, and this is the episode the preview played from so I decided to do a spontaneous rewatch. Now, I haven’t laid eyes on season 1, outside of the musical performances, in well over 6 years at this point (probably 7-8), so let’s see what happens:

Oh my god what happened to the rapid-fire recap. This guy sounds depressed. Get him some Vitamin D, stat!

I can’t believe there are 209834 versions of Don’t Stop Believing on this show and none of the studio recordings are the one where Quinn takes lead vocals even though she sounds BEAUTIFUL.

oh noooo not the Mongoloid joke

other than that, I’m very happy to see Terri and she deserves all the grasshopper pie she wants. I love you, my conniving little harpy.

Emma shut up challenge

oh my god I love April

I am making a valiant effort to get all the way through Maybe This Time without skipping ahead, but JESUS CHRIST THIS IS SO AWFUL. I assume this is how the song is supposed to go, but April sounds like a hag and my ears are bleeding, even on Rachel’s part.

I genuinely don’t remember the bowling alley date. I mean, I remember it because it featured heavily in a beautiful fanvid that was made in 2009 to the song “Boys With Girlfriends” (I know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends...), a video whose disappearance I still mourn, but I don’t remember it actually feeling like a date.

Finn’s kind of a manipulative dickhead in this episode, huh? Kick him in the nads.

“I don’t know what I want, but I know what I don’t want, and it is allll THIS.”  Need that in gif form, I honestly quote it way too much.

Emma shut up, Emma shut up, Emma shut up

Alone is the champion of my heart always. Among the top 10 songs in season 1, possibly top 5? It actually came on the radio earlier tonight and I harmonized like a boss, hearing Glee in my head all the way.

I also wish I had a gif of the manager grooving along to their duet, because that is me every time

Mr. Schue’s passive-aggressive “we’re all really looking forward to your show” comment to Rachel is SO PETTY AND MEAN and I am living.

“My dreams are bigger than that, and they’re bigger than you.”  I flippin’ love that Rachel quote. I forgot that was straight from the show, but I must have known at one point because I changed the first pronoun to “her” and quoted it liberally throughout season 3 re: Finn/Rachel, especially after the engagement episode.

Last Name is AMAZING. It is also in my top 10/possibly top 5 of season 1, and it’s 100% the best performance in this episode. The costumes, the choreography (Kurt is looking fiiiine in a way that’s normally not possible for him in this season), April’s twirling and “woo!”s, and honestly IDK why Will is so mad bout her BEING drunk when he chose a song like this...not least because she shows absolutely no sign of being drunk and is probably better able to perform drunk than sober at this point.

Aww man way to make me cry at the end there, April. (I’m so glad this show kept randomly calling her back)

I still don’t really get why everyone’s so blown away by Somebody To Love. I forced my brain to like it via exposure, but it is very much Just Okay. Better than the original, but still not great. (YEAH THAT’S RIGHT. My respect for Queen is...not large.)

oh my gosh, Quinn’s hair is SO LONG and pretty! I miss that look.

Also lol, I’m sorry, did they invite people to drag themselves all the way out here for two 3-4 minute performances? That apparently need an intermission between them?? Did I miss something? I really hope I missed that this is either the warmup to some parent-info assembly, or they are actually putting on at least an hour-long medley and all the others are just songs we’ve heard before.

#glee #glee 1x05 #cleaning out my drafts

[snixxlixx]

a letter for naya

I’ve been spending the day trying to push past the immeasurable shock and anguish that’s been suffocating me ever since I woke up to the news, in order to be able to write my thoughts down. Today has been really, really hard, in part because I don’t know how to emotionally process this– how can you grieve when there are so many unknowns, so much not adding up, so little closure? I figure that sharing my thoughts with all of you may help me cope, and at the very least will help me express what a profound impact Naya Rivera has had on my life.

(To preface this letter: while I won’t be talking about today’s events in specific detail, this is still upsetting, so please take your capacity for handling painful emotions into consideration; your mental health comes first. Also, I’m not going to refer to Naya’s life in the past tense. I know that a lot of people are still holding out hope and I want to respect that.)

My first thought is, of course, for her family. I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of pain, despair and fear her parents and Nickayla are experiencing right now, and my heart is absolutely shattering for Josey. Regardless of the outcome, her son is going to be scarred forever from today’s events, and I don’t know how to express in words how horrible I feel that he not only had this happen but was there for it, and is carrying the responsibility of potentially the sole witness. There is no “good” age to experience such a profoundly traumatic event, but to be so young and have to go through something like this is beyond awful.

My thoughts are also with her friends and former castmates. I haven’t been online much today but I’ve seen how terrified and devastated Heather is, as she conjured up the strength to ask the fans to pray for her. Naya’s Glee castmates have made it clear what a wonderful person, coworker, friend and mother she is and how much they all adore her. That cast in particular has had to endure so much loss and horrible news, so I can’t fathom what they’re going through right now.

I don’t usually mourn so strongly when tragedies involving celebrities happen, but Naya has played such an integral part in my coming of age and acceptance of my sexuality. Even though I’ve never met her, Naya has changed my life in invaluable ways– so this hit me really, really hard.

It’s difficult to explain to people not involved in fandom why this is affecting me so much, because how do you describe the profound influence of someone you’ve never met on your growth and self-acceptance? To me and so many other people, Naya is not just a celebrity, not just the actress that played a cheerleader on Glee. She’s someone who listened to what the fans wanted and fought to make her character canonically gay, because she knew how important it was to tell that story. The story of a Latina lesbian learning to love herself even though she loves a girl, and having one of the greatest character arcs ever on television. The story that had barely, if ever, been told on screen before. The story that gave a whole generation the confidence to love and accept themselves, and learn that they can have a happy ending too. For a lot of people older than me it was The L Word, or Xena, but for me and so many others Santana Lopez was the one who made us realize that it was okay to love girls, and to love ourselves not despite it, but because of it.

Naya didn’t just casually “play” that character, either. She put her soul into the role, giving Santana a rawness and vulnerability in her coming out storyline that made so many of us relate to her in a way we’d never been able to with any character before. Naya fought to let her character give representation to the LGBT community, but she didn’t stop there; she and Heather made that representation count with all the little things– the longing glances, the casual loving touches and the passionate kisses, which made Brittany and Santana so nuanced and very believably in love. Naya poured her heart out in Songbird and Landslide and Rumor Has It/Someone Like You, performances that we all still rewatch with awe because she portrayed Santana’s love for Brittany so earnestly.

I watched Glee at a very vulnerable point in my life, when I was panicking at the thought of being gay, unable to yet accept it as reality. I was scared about what it meant for me, about the thought of having to eventually tell people, of just... so many things. But watching Naya play the character of Santana Lopez, telling her story so beautifully and with so much justice, completely changed my life. I started to accept the reality of my sexuality, and that I could have a happy ending like she did. I can say without a doubt that if it weren’t for Naya, and her incredible portrayal of Santana Lopez, along with her strong real-life allyship and love for the LGBT community, my coming of age would have been very different. She gave me hope and relief, which was invaluable to a young gay kid who’d never seen someone like them get a happy ending.

I’m distraught and still very much in shock over today’s events, but if nothing else I want to convey how thankful I am for everything Naya has done for me and so many others. She’s a truly beautiful soul whose legacy will be as a wonderful mother, sister, daughter, coworker, friend, actor, and life changer to so many in the LGBT community. Thank you, Naya, for everything. You are so, so, so, so loved, and always will be.❤️

#writing this all down actually helped a lot #i know i haven't been as active in the brittana fandom as of late #but i am so appreciative of all of you who have been there for me for years now #this is a really really hard time but we have each other's backs #naya rivera #santana lopez #ok to reblog if you wish to <3

[caritov]

I feel like I have to say goodbye to 13 reasons why in a way that’s different from other shows ending. So here it is.

This show meant a lot to me. It helped. It helped because I could sit at a talk about how to deal with suicidal ideation and why it can be a bad idea to permit certain types of memorials after a suicide, and think about Hannah Baker and not about the very real girl that I knew that made the same choice. It gave me a way to deal with reality without that reality becoming to much. It was also a show I knew I could go to whenever I needed to cry about something, without having to immediately deal with that something.

I love 13 reasons why for the same reasons I love Glee. It provides a very bleak view of the world, but it is also hopeful. A group of people get together and decide to try and make the world a better place. Clay and Jessica, specially, I love them for recognizing that things can’t keep going the same way, it has to change. So, friendship, hope, tenaciousness, power, generosity, against a world that is a very bad place. Bleak shows, but hopeful, I love them.

I think I am not in the majority here, but I believe they tackled a lot of issues very well. Suicide and mental health, sexual harassment, poverty, racism, sexism, homophobia, drug addiction, gun violence. This last season was worst than the others, but I wouldn’t say it was awful, just worst.

But it is over now. I will never be able to rewatch it knowing that Justin dies. I can, somehow, enjoy Clay and Hannah relationship even knowing what happens. Because we knew from the beginning. But this, this I can’t handle. I couldn’t watch the developing relationship between Clay and Justin, or the incredibly selfless act of the Jensens adopting him, with anything other than sorrow.

I will say this, though. A lot of people died on that show: Jeff, Hannah, Bryce, Monty. But they died in a way that was violent, unexpected, that left the people sorrounding them with mixed and complicated feelings about their death. It was different with Justin. His death was not sudden, which gave everyone a chance to say goodbye to him. He was loved by everyone, with no longer any complicated emotions related to that love, so his death was simply mourned, no mixed feelings about it. Maybe there is something to be said about getting that experience, the death of a loved one under less... violent or unexpected circumstances.

Still, I will not rewatch the show. I will not read any fanfiction, I will not reblog any gifs, I will not listen to any podcast. I doubt I will even refer to it again. So,

13 reasons why, I love you, and I Iet you go.

#13 reasons why #13rw spoilers #tw: suicide

[withoutaword]

i’m fucking devastated.

glee was the reason I joined tumblr all the way back in 2010. immediately I was in love with cory, dianna, chris and naya. they meant so much to me. santana’s coming out story meant so much to me. when I wasn’t ready to even admit it out loud, I knew that her storyline resonated with me.

(“what i realized is why I’m such a bitch all the time. I’m a bitch because I’m angry. I’m angry because I have all of these feelings—feelings for you—that I’m afraid of dealing of because I’m afraid of dealing with the consequences.”)

glee was such an integral part of my life. it was the first fandom i was truly apart of; the first fandom I made friends in, felt represented in. I would watch and rewatch interviews of naya, naya and heather, naya and dianna, etc. even though I hadn’t kept up with her closely in recent years I knew how much she loved her son, that he was her entire world.

I don’t even know what to say. I never thought I would be going through this twice, especially both on the same day. fuck july 13. I just know that wherever they are, cory and naya are together right now. I know they’re protecting each other and watching over everyone.

my heart goes out to her family and friends. I can’t even imagine what they’re feeling.

I am not okay right now, and it’s okay for anyone else to be feeling the same. santana lopez was so important to so many of us, and naya gave us that. we can all mourn together, and if anyone needs to talk please come talk to me.

rest in peace, naya. we all love you so much.

#naya rivera #fly high

[cafedanslanuit]

"se perdona el pecado pero no el escándalo" (you can forgive the sin but not the scandal)

If you grew up in a latino house I'm sure you've heard this from your parents, an uncle, an aunt or your grandparents.

I'm rewatching Santana's coming out scene to her grandmother and having Santana cry when she heard those words-- the words I've heard so many times in my life (and I'm sure a lot of people too) resonated in me now as much as they did when I first watched the scene at sixteen.

Naya put so much love in Santana's journey of overcoming her grandmother's disapproval meant a lot of us latino kids who knew we would be met with the exact same answer if we happened to be anything but straight.

Whether you came out or not, if you're still questioning or are sure about who you love, please remember you're valuable. Latino culture, as beautiful as it is, also has a lot of sexist and misogynistic influence. Watching a latina lesbian girl making her way through NY and being loved was something I'll never forget.

Thank you for playing your part and pushing for Santana to have relevant and truthful stories on Glee.

It's hard to mourn someone you've never met. But I guess this is my way of coming to terms with it and paying tribute of what a huge influence she made.

May her family support each other and learn to live with the pain, for that one day, they will be able to remember her with a smile.

#naya rivera #santana lopez #glee

[neist]

TUA Season 2 rambling

This turned out really long, but I had to get this out.

So, rant or at least mental splurge required, I think, to try and get my head straight. About a fucking telly show that somehow matters more to me than real life right now. Because I don’t actually have a LIFE and instead live through the characters I vibe with. Which means it truly fucks me up, to the point of fighting back tears for days, even weeks, and being unable to function as anything remotely comparable to an actual human adult when THEY get fucked up.

Case in point, Ben and Klaus Hargreeves. I was LOVING season 2 for the first 6 eps. I was laughing with it, and engrossed in it, and having warm fuzzies about the sibling interactions, and Vanya and Sissy, and loving Vanya being so caring of Harlan and actually getting to have feelings other than anger and misery for once. Mr Chestnut? Yes, please- wonderful man and an absolute joy to watch him and Allison (the perfect woman). Civil rights movement? Awe inspiring and terrifying and horrific to think of what these people went through. Lila? Honestly, I really liked her, and enjoyed her scenes with Diego- I even continued to enjoy her character right through the whole Mother Gethel arc- after all, if we can see past the Hargreeves’ faults, directly resulting from them being raised by an emotionless, abusive, manipulative monster, surely Lila deserves the same consideration? She’s fucked up, and selfish, and doesn’t know how to relate to people except on a frivolous or murderous basis, but she was taking baby steps towards being better because she honestly loves Diego. Yes, it’s a selfish love, but he opened her eyes to actually thinking about someone else for the first time in her life, and you could see her actually starting to think about that.

Luther and Diego bonding and treating each other like human beings- yes. Luther and Five showing respect and concern for each other- I’ll have even more of that, please. Allison and Klaus hugging and laughing and drinking and dancing and just being tender and thoughtful towards each other- hell yes, especially when Vanya gets invited in like she always should have been.

Ben and Klaus snarking at each other and having a slap fight in the middle of a dusty road? Totally on brand and in character and funny as hell. That’s what siblings do (I know, I’m a middle child with NOTHING in common with my older sister)- we snark, and snipe and delight in watching them lose face. We give them that good old slap they’re sooo asking for, and have a good laugh about it when they realise, OK, yes, they really WERE being a dick. But as infuriating as they may be we still love them. We might trip them on their face out of spite, but there are limits to how much we can hurt them before the glee wears off and we rush to reassure and comfort them. And that’s where this season really let me down. It’s like Klaus and Ben are out to actually rip each other’s guts out. It’s not just brotherly ribbing, or even spiteful jibes, it’s not even just “done with your shit” apathy. Klaus telling their siblings that Ben isn’t there could be an amusing payback for Ben’s earlier shit with the poker game and with Dave, if it was just a temporary thing. But to cut off Ben’s only hope of interacting with his family, who only recently realised he was even still around, smirking all the while and with no intention of relenting, is a really nasty abuse of power. It’s purposefully hurtful and completely out of proportion. Yes, I know Klaus is a selfish ass, but he’s always been compassionate, and that seems to have completely gone, at least in relation to Ben.

And then there’s the possession. We knew it was coming, thankfully- that coming out of the blue would have just floored me. Yep, Klaus is still being an asshole, no doubt about it- here’s a perfect opportunity to relent and do the right thing and he’s still ignoring Ben and making out that he doesn’t exist despite his clear desperation to just talk to his family, to be acknowledged. Ben has every right to be thoroughly pissed and even spiteful, and I actually have some sympathy with him impulsively taking Klaus over- we can all make stupid decisions in the heat of the moment. But afterwards there’s not a shred of remorse for LITERALLY forcing himself on his brother, taking over his body and denying him his own bodily autonomy. Ben’s positively gleeful at tormenting Klaus with the knowledge that he fully intends to do it again as soon as Klaus is unable to stop him. It’s like the creep at the club who’s been touching your ass all night trapping you alone in the bathroom and gloating about what he’s going to do to you as soon as the club inevitably closes. And it’s played off as COMEDY. I can’t actually articulate just how vile I found that scene of Klaus’s head drooping, and every time he, panicked, jerked awake Ben, all smug and predatory, was a step closer, ready to pounce. What the hell? That was even worse than Ben’s refusal to let Klaus go later on- it showed Ben’s utter disregard for the fact that Klaus REALLY DIDN’T WANT THIS, was in fact fucking terrified of it, and not only did Ben not care about that, he was ENJOYING taunting Klaus with the inevitability of the violation.

I’ve read a few discussions of how Ben, even in season 1, was shown to feel some entitlement to Klaus’s body and life, and though I didn’t see it myself first time through I can see hints of that on rewatching. I guess it shouldn’t be a shock that Ben followed through on that. I just can’t get my head around the same person who understood, and empathised with, Klaus going back to the mausoleum in his head when he was being held and tortured, being so utterly callous towards him in season 2. Even with the provocation of Klaus being a dick, presumably for three whole years, how does the same person who was, just hours later, so caring and warm and self sacrificing towards Vanya, maliciously taunt their brother with the promise of mentally violating him?

I don’t get it, I really don’t. Like I said, I have nothing in common with my sister, and in years gone by we each would have delighted in each other’s pain, and yes, frequently would have caused it. But she’s still my SISTER and I would kill for her if necessary, and I know I can turn to her for anything. If I’m completely honest with myself she’s hurt me more in my life, caused more long term damage during our childhoods than I think even my parents did, but as an adult I’ve still been able to turn to her when I’ve needed her- when I’ve been overwhelmed by depression and unable to trust myself with so much as a butter knife she was the person I called and ended up staying with for days. Maybe that’s what’s bothering me so much about this- after years of making each other’s lives hell as kids we still love each other and will be there, but this is making me feel like I’ve called her for help in a crisis, and she’s just handed me a carving knife and told me “OK, get on with it then.”

And then, as if that wasn’t all enough, while I’m trying to come to terms with these asshole brothers cutting each other to the bone with apparent glee, Ben takes one fleeting glance back at Klaus before sinking into Vanya, showing her so much kindness, understanding and just plain LOVE, being the warmest, more caring brother and making me bubble at the tenderness and love between the two. Right then, when I’m at my most emotionally connected and vulnerable, and wishing he and Klaus could show each other an ounce of that empathy and consideration, right then is when he starts to fragment, and I KNOW the makers intended for us all to fragment right along with him, but it’s been three fucking days and I can’t stop crying. I mean that literally. I can’t work, I can’t clean or cook, I don’t even want to eat, I can’t concentrate on anything without that damn scene playing out again and I just want to scream, especially thinking about damn Sparrow Ben and his snarky emo face, ‘cos that’s not Ben and I feel like one of my best friends has just died, only I’m not allowed to mourn ‘cos it’s a fucking TV character and how stupid and pathetic can a person be to get this upset about a character dying on a TV show, but I’m sorry I don’t have a fucking life and this feels real to me, and I hate it.

#TUA2 #tua2 spoilers #tua spoilers #the umbrella academy #Klaus Hargreeves #Ben Hargreeves #personal #venting

[incarnateirony]

I’m guilty of wanting “explicit” destiel content because of my family who watches supernatural, I’m the only one who believes that there’s romance between Dean and Cas. I’m also the only queer person. It’s hard to cope sometimes, but thank you for the reminder to not dismiss what they HAVE given us. :)

Ofc. I had just edited in a piece on another post that I think is appropriate.

Welcome to what the actual representation battle looks like in this new circus. Population: Everyone wearing any kind of clown nose past this last episode. We’re all clowns, and Bobo The Gay Clown King Berens, the Ringmaster, is writing the show. And it’s not to exploit anyone. It’s to take their story as far as he can, whether or not he got any given greenlight, and to bring the most authentic queer narrative he can within his power in the fight against God which, as much as it jeers some authors and otherwise some fandom, has thrown corporate jeers as well. The same God they were told in S11 they couldn’t kill, by the network. The same Godnetwork that has given them other nos. Not this Sam and not this Dean. If they can’t kill him, if they can’t- they’ll find another way. 

It might not be what you want. Hell, it might be, depending on how you’re honking right now, as long as we uh–clown responsibly? To ourselves and to others? But to absolutely enjoy and resonate with what he’s putting his all into bringing you. One thing I HIGHLY suggest is to go back on, specifically, a Dabberens rewatch list. Pull up their episodes on the wiki.

Dabb will come long before Bobo but laid some principle lines out; Bobo came and with it came a shift in style of delivery that went from othery alien fascination into a different form of low key framing – much his own – religiously and worked upon, then flanked by Dabb, only for Bobo beneath Dabb to end up being the most senior in the writing crew to catch the new authors in the tumult, and uh, you could say certain groups banded together on plans and others passively existed. But the level of dedication and end game YOLO framework done is a marvel unto itself regardless of if a Pics Or It Didnt Happen kiss happens (but I won’t pretend I wouldn’t come out of my skin with glee if it did). Ja?

Fun game: play spot the avatars, and I don’t just mean Chuck or fandom.

But if you want to play follow the big gay canon rebellion follow Bobo Beren’s path through the show running flank with Dabb. Everyone mourned Yockey leaving as the end of Destiel like Bobo didn’t just get EP rank. Guys-- guys-- Bobo laid that groundwork for Yockey. Guys-- Yockey’s spirit is still with us like Rowena in a hellthrone telling them to fix it. Alright?

[bansheeheart]

YES TINA! GO TINA!

#I know they're going to make her feel bad for this and paint her as in the wrong #but she's right 🥰 #mourning.txt #mourning rewatches glee

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E1 (Pilot)

Is it a smart idea to rewatch glee again? No.

Am I going to do it anyway? You bet your sweet bippy I am!

Am I going to liveblog my garbage monkey brain thoughts along the way even though nobody asked for it? Hell yeah.

Here goes!

Wow. The first frame of this entire show is literally of a woman who looks like she’s about 10 years above the natural lifespan of a Cheerio. Then again, I’m sure Sue’s not above holding back her best recruits for multiple years because Ohio high schools are apparently just Like That™

I also never notice this opening song was a remix of Keep Me Hangin On, wow. That’s actually kind of interesting foreshadowing of sorts, like, kind of smart. I’m glad I’m watching the part of Glee that was kind of smart.

This scene also doesn’t feature any of the Unholy Trinity as far as I can see. Are they a JV squad? Am I putting too much thought into this?

Sign #1 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Really, my guy? Driving around with your muffler dragging on the ground so bad it’s making sparks? That’s not very Road Safety of you. Fuck off. 

Sign #2 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Wow, there’s going to be a lot of these, huh? Anyway, anybody with working eyes would clearly see how scared Kurt is right now. “Making some new friends Kurt?” Fuck off. 

KURT. FIRST SIGHTING OF THE BOY. What a delight. But also, not a delight, because he’s being bullied and he deserves better. Look at his outfit. Iconic from day fucking one. 

Finn, you’re a himbo. What’re you doing with these assholes?

Puck’s first line in the whole series is “It’s hammer time!” What a fucking dork? Who made this boy popular. 

DO MORE THAN TAKE HIS COAT, FINN. LET HIM GOOOOO!!!

I paused while they were tossing Kurt in the dumpster and, wow, got the most hilarious frame where the guy who isn’t Puck is getting a meticulously polished boot to the face. Netflix let me take screenshots, you coward.

The first shot of Quinn... My wlw bones are shaking.

Why would they use that photo for Lillian Adler...? WHO WAS BORN IN 1937, MIGHT I ADD. THAT’S NOT A REAL YEAR. 

It’s weird to see Mr Schue actually speaking competent Spanish. Why did they veto that later? The ONE likeable thing about him was his competence as a school teacher, and they really threw it out the window huh?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE MEMBERS OF SANDY RYERSON’S GLEE CLUB??? This kid seems to really like singing. Also, welcome to the beginning of Ryerson being annoying as all hell.

Oh my gosh, the background choir stuff. This show really had style back in the day!!!

R A C H E L B E R R Y Y O U R M A K E U P ! ! !

Ken Tanaka walked so incels could run.

Jane Lynch you beauty. You absolutely impeccable beauty. 

“Since when are cheerleaders performers?” Uh... Emma...? I get that Sue’s going ham on her budget but, like, be nice to the students? They perform their butts off!

Sue really just BRAGGED about having an iPhone. I was 9 when this came out. Why do I feel old...

Sign #3 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He hears his coworker, presumably of several years, just got fired and doesn’t even ask why. He just jumps on the glee club like a frog on hot asphalt. 

He really wants to Make The Glee Club Great Again, huh? 

MySpace was really a thing, huh? And why does this grown-ass male teacher know so much about the students having them?

I know nothing about actual American schools, but I do know that they sure as shit don’t work like this. Why does a club have to win EVERY competition to be considered an asset?

Mr Shoe really lying awake at night half-naked next to his wife thinking about the glee club already? Yeah sounds about right. Also, of course you’d think up Nude Erections for a name, you asshole. Put some clothes on.

R E S P E C T MERCEDES YES!!!

Brad the piano player was really here from day ONE... Icon.

Cellophane, Mr Cellophane... Yes Kurt bby you killed it. 

Chris Colfer looks so YOUNG here!!! 

The hair fix... I C O N I C !

Tina really wrote her stutter down, huh? And nobody ever saw through it? Amazing. 

The goth Tina look, too... Perfect... Never change...

Say what you want about Rachel Berry being generally insufferable, but I really fucking feel it when she sings On My Own. The monologue kind of kills The Drama of it, but they really solidly established her character by layering them. She really is a gold star right now.

The first-ever on-screen slushie!

The way she walks down that hall. My God you can just see how terrible she is to be around.

Never forget Rachel staring at photos of her with two men who turned out to not be her dads. Who are they? What are their stories? We’ll never know.

God, I love this stupid scene of Quinn, Santana, and a bunch of Cheerios cartoonishly typing hate comments on Rachel’s MySpace video and laughing like knock-off Disney villains. 

I like watching season 1 Artie because season 1 Artie was a good character. Mostly. And he KILLED Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat. Rachel wasn’t asking for a male lead who could keep up with her vocally, she was being straight up ableist and that’s a fact. I love Cory, but Kevin McHale was always a better singer.

Mercedes picking up and spinning Rachel for this little routine is something I never really appreciated before, it’s cute even though they don’t like each other yet!

I really don’t get why Rachel says they suck. Yeah, sure, she’s gunning for a solo, but the vocals were solid there. The choreo was just a little janky, possibly because it’s their first EVER rehearsal?

“There is NOTHING ironic about show choir!” Incredible.

How long did it take Mr Shoe to find Rachel out on the bleachers? Did he search the whole school first?

ARTIE! CAN! KEEP! UP! WITH! YOU! VOCALLY!

I never understood Rachel quitting so soon. How long was she in the old glee club for? Surely they were never popular either?

Ah, the first “My hands are tied” for the series. Mr Figgins is a garbage principal. 

Not going to advise the principal against referring to Artie as a cripple, William Shoestir? Alright. 

How did the Schuester marriage last as long as it has? Do Will and Terri’s insufferable personalities just cancel one another out?

Sandy Ryerson really just openly brags about cheating the system for medical marijuana and dealing it? 

Matt Morrison 100% has lip fillers. Nobody’s smile curls like that naturally.

“Terri and I are trying to get pregnant” What a weird way to phrase it. What is it, a race? Who’s going to get knocked up first!

A FIFTH OF BEETHOVEN, HOW I’VE MISSED YOU... The sound design of this show at this point is just... *Chef hand kiss*

“What you’re doing right now is called blurring the lines” Oh just wait until season 4, Sue... Just you wait.

WHY is Mr Schuester so ridiculously sweaty? I didn’t need to think about that?

EVERYONE on the football team is 30.

William Schuester you can’t just watCH TEENAGE STUDENTS SING IN THE SHOWER YOU ARE A TEACHER WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE?! 

Hearing Cory sing this always makes me emotional. What a talent!

Sign #4 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: I don’t think I need to say why using the weed to blackmail Finn is a shitty thing to do, do I?

“I’ll pee in a cup! ...I’ll pee...” I love Cory’s delivery. 

PRIORITY #1: HELP THE KIDS Oh season 1... I love you so.

Mr Schue you WISH you were anything like Finn Hudson. You never will be.

Ah... Finn’s first monologue. He’s such a sweetheart. AND SO IS CAROLE. Carole is a queen I will stan forever. YOU THROW THAT MILK BB!!!

All Finn wants to do is make his mom proud. What a sweetheart. Mr Schue you do NOT deserve him.

These POV shots really enhance things, why the fuck did they stop using them?

Subtly having Kurt look at Finn in the same shot as Rachel was a nice touch indeed!

RACHEL WAS REALLY DOWN WITH ROLLING ARTIE RIGHT OFF THE STAGE HUH?

Terri’s a straight up hoarder, huh? Like a raccoon but instead of collecting edible garbage, it’s monogrammed garbage.

Surely you can’t just... BECOME an accountant, right? You need some serious qualifications for that right?

Also say what you want about how insufferable Terri is but her actress is ridiculously talented and absolutely steals every scene she’s in.

Now the background choir is doing Soul Bossa Nova and I am L I V I N G why didn’t they keep that motif!!! It was so ICONIC!

I don’t need my prostate removed. RIP Carole Hudson but I’m different :/

NO MEANS NO, KEN! TAKE THE L AND MOVE ON! Way to take out the fact that a girl won’t date you on everybody else around you! Toxic bastard. The absolute stench of melodrama on this bastard is noxious.

I was going to ask why Rachel didn’t know about Finn and Quinn if they’d already been together for 4 months, but then I remembered gossiping requires friends...

“Terri rides me. Hard. And I’ve always appreciated it!” Why don’t we talk about how this line sounds more. Why doesn’t Emma bat an eye at it oh my god

HERE COMES VOCAL ADRENALINE!!! And Jesse St. James is nowhere to be seen. How convenient. Also, they’re all 30. I’m sensing a pattern.

Sorry VA, all songs popularised my Amy Winehouse legally belong to Santana Lopez

Puck, if you were stupid enough to fall for the prostate excuse, that’s on you. Or maybe it’s on the education system...

You can do better that Mr Schue, kids. Don’t mourn him.

Ok, what the fuck is this scene where he’s filling out the job app to become an accountant? There’s a dude in the row in front off him just throwing crisps around? What is this place?? Why are you here sir??? 

“Accounting is sexy” shut up you horrible married man

The Cheerios sure did have straight ponytails for like, one episode, huh?

Finn is such a good boy. He doesn’t know it yet, but he is, and saving Artie from that portapotty is his first step to figuring it out.

This shot of Finn just wheeling Artie out of there... Ugh. My HEART.

KURT WHAT ARE THOSE LAYERS? SWEATER SHIRT SWEATER? HELLO???

Pee balloons. Nailing the lawn furniture to the roof. Finn, you’re better than that!!! Stop your dudebros. 

They really had Artie be a guitar player, and a pretty good one at that, but they never mentioned it again? Artie had such potential SMH. (Also, Netflix subtitles are telling me it’s Arty, but I categorically refuse to spell it that way.)

Whyyyyy didn’t he go to KURT for the costumes as well? Look at his outfit, Finn. He clearly wants in on that job. 

Will Schuester really is just desperately clinging to his glory days in high school. I’d feel bad for him if he wasn’t such a creep about it. 

Emma, meaningfully: Do you know who that is? That’s you, Will... [FRANTIC DISCO MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND]

I find it hilarious how the audio of Don’t Stop Believin’ just DOES NOT match the characters except for the solos... Also wow, autotune city. Am I awful for genuinely not liking this cover? 

I like watching them perform it though. Kurt’s adorable little shimmy... Rachel and Tina smiling at each other like that... Everybody having a blast... I’m here for it

LOOK AT MY BABIES TILTING THOSE MIC STANDS...

Ok the way Rachel and Finn look at each other here is making me FEEL

I know Puck’s about to join anyway but WHY is he there watching... Just to have a mysterious bad boy moment? Lol you dramatic bastard

Please let them win nationals without you, Will.

So, yeah! There’s that! Those are my thoughts and feelings, basic though they may be. Episode one is fantastic, the kids are fantastic, and William Schuester can suck a toe. 

#Glee #Glee seasson 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 109: Last One Out of Beach City

“What if I told you that the world was gonna end, and you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends?”

Steven and the Stevens and Hit the Diamond are my two favorite episodes of Steven Universe for reasons I’ve written about at length, but beyond encapsulating the essence of the series and characters and all that, it should be noted that they’re just plain fun. Last One Out of Beach City is smaller in scale, zeroing in on one of the show’s earliest defined relationships and basking in its evolution from a feud to a deep friendship, so it’s harder to use as a stand-in for the show as a whole. But even if it isn’t my third-favorite episode of the series, it stands hand in hand with my top two when it comes to the charm factor.

Last One Out of Beach City is a delight from start to finish. Jesse Zuke’s legendary “Bad Pearl” sketch comes to life in the best way imaginable, and Deedee Magno Hall solidifies her place as my MVP of a killer lineup of voice actors. Actual human being Mike Krol gets tossed into this alternate universe like it was nothing. Crimes are committed. Swears are censored by screeching tires. Juice is spat. Cups, spilt.

This is the promise of Zuke’n’Florido’s brilliant opening sequence of Beta fulfilled: Steven and some Gems hanging out not for half an episode, but an entire one. It’s got sight gags aplenty, supplementing some of the best comedy writing in the series, mixed with the soul-warming joy of watching characters we love getting along. So lest I just turn this review into gushing about individual jokes and lines and moments, let’s dive into why each character we see is terrific, starting with the scofflaw herself.

Last One Out of Beach City does for Pearl what Back to the Moon does for Amethyst and Mindful Education does for Garnet: we see the result of her character growth in Act II, and even if the Mystery Girl looks a lot like Rose, it’s still a huge step forward for our lady of perpetual mourning to develop a crush on someone new (and to be so low-key polite to Greg). The romantic subplot alone could drive an episode, but Pearl gets so many more hats than “girl with a crush” here: she’s a nerd, a badass, a criminal, and a middle-aged mom all at once. She vacillates between genuinely cool and desperately uncool until she fuses these extremes together to become a confident square; it’s perhaps Deedee Magno Hall’s best Pearlformance that doesn’t include singing, and that’s saying a lot. Between her voice acting, the lines themselves (“This is why we buckle up”), and the sheer sense of catharsis from seeing her choosing to move forward with her life, this is my favorite Pearl episode. And that’s saying a lot.

Pearl has always had a weird relationship with humanity. She's distant from modern culture compared to Amethyst, and her misunderstandings about human stuff is often played for laughs, but she’s also a crack car mechanic and is enamored with human concepts like knighthood. She’s not completely removed from society, but chooses not to engage unless something in particular catches her fancy. So it’s fascinating to see her associating moving forward with performing more human activities; she’s embracing Earth as it is, not as it was when the Gem War was raging, and she’s not letting lingering envy from Rose’s love of humans like Greg get in her way.

The reason this works so well is that it’s clearly performative, rather than an actual sudden personality shift. She’s still a homebody who likes puzzles and hanging out with her kid. She’s still snooty, both with her friends (dismissing the idea that anyone could be nostalgic for something as “new” as suburbs) and with her crush (“By the way, I saved your planet and your species and you're welcome”). And she’s still nervous as all get-out, but brave enough to push forward anyway.

Pearl’s maternal nature isn’t ignored, but used as fuel for her attempt at rebirth. There’s a huge difference between an awkward person putting themselves out there for the first time and a semi-retired hellraiser who, after settling into a comfortable groove, seeks to relive her glory days. She’s been dwelling on the negative for so long that she feels out of touch with her adventurous side, to the point where wearing pants and drinking juice is adventurous, but because we know Pearl so well by now we can actually appreciate how big of a deal these minor accomplishments are for her.

While it’s refreshing to see Pearl moving on from Rose, it’s perhaps even greater to see how far her relationship with Amethyst has come. While their longstanding rivalry softened during the Week of Sardonyx, we haven’t gotten them alone together since, and it just feels so nice to see Amethyst ribbing Pearl with that extra burst of sisterly affection, and Pearl loosening up enough to not take every slight personally.

As with Pearl, Amethyst works here because her personality hasn’t been erased; again, she’s still ragging on Pearl. The plot gets rolling because of Amethyst’s well-established fascination with humanity, and Pearl’s decision to see the show is prompted in part by wanting to impress Amethyst, something she never would’ve cared about in Season 1. And for all her teasing, Amethyst encourages Pearl every step of the way, not just out of solidarity but because she’s legitimately impressed.

And in a world where Pearl and Amethyst are egging each other on, Steven has to step up and be practical. I appreciate that his sense of responsibility and realism doesn’t make him a jerk or a brat, but more of a peer than ever among his fellow Crystal Gems. When pointing out the pink-haired elephant in the room, he’s not condemning or teasing Pearl: he’s just clearing the tension, and showing that he’s more aware of the situation than a younger Steven might have been. In this episode, Steven is the friend who looks for a gas station when his buds are freaking out about running out of fuel.

By now Steven feels comfortable with his place in the team, and with his relationships with Amethyst and Pearl as individuals. A version of this episode placed earlier in the series might’ve been about Pearl and Amethyst fighting for his attention, or Steven vying for attention from either of them, but by now he’s happy to do a puzzle with Pearl and to go to a concert with Amethyst, and there’s zero conflict. Immaturity shouldn’t be a go-to character beat anymore, and I love that Steven is acting his age.

Mystery Girl turns out to be more of a device than a character, as we never see her again. But I honestly think that’s fine; what matters is that Pearl is willing to put herself out there, and the result isn’t a new relationship with a new love interest but a new relationship with humanity. The Pearl of Bismuth Casual, hanging out with a posse of human friends and showing off her Gem powers with glee, owes everything to the Pearl of Last One Out of Beach City, and thus everything to Mystery Girl. Perhaps they had a thing at some point. Perhaps they still do have a thing. We don’t know, because Pearl has new hobbies outside of being a Crystal Gem, and that’s the victory.

An in terms of the show’s greater plot, if our new friend never gave Pearl her number, Pearl never would’ve gotten a phone, so A Single Pale Rose never would’ve happened. Perhaps one day he would’ve learned the truth, but certainly not before Yellow and Blue Diamond arrived to wage war on the planet. So thanks for saving the world, Mystery Girl!

The use of music from our universe lends Last One Out of Beach City a uniquely realistic tone compared to the rest of the series; perhaps any such music would do the trick, but a garage rocker is an apt choice for setting a grounded mood. We get a glimpse of Greg’s life outside of being a dad, as he socializes not only with Amethyst but Barb and Vidalia. The car chase lurches to reality when we learn that Pearl doesn’t have a driver’s license, and explicit references are made to the DMV and Pearl’s citizenship. It’s like knowing Steven’s exact age, or having Greg break his leg in Ocean Gem instead of getting a nondescript injury, or hearing Dr. Maheswaran describe PTSD using terms like “cortisol”: these concrete details make these characters feel more like real people. And considering this is a character-centric episode in a show where characters are pretty much always at the center anyway, that realism gives us a deeper connection to what our heroes are going through.

Pearl is by no means a teenager, and the critical element of reclaiming her mojo muddles direct comparisons to a teen protagonist, but the emotional honesty of Last One Out of Beach City makes me feel nostalgic, and not just for the suburbs. Driving around, not quite following the rules, and bouts of chasing meaning when you’re not as interested in traditional adolescent social activities? Those were my teenage years. I don’t always miss them, but this episode brings out the best of my memories.

There’s really not much else to say. I could spend another few paragraphs incoherently gushing about the writing and the animation and the voice work, but I promise the time you’d spend reading that would be better spent rewatching the episode. While I maintain my comparison to Beta, Last One Out of Beach City does stand in opposition to Peridot’s first Meep Morp: it has no functional purpose, it just makes me feel good.

Future Vision!

I already brought up how Mystery Girl’s number prompts A Single Pale Rose, but that episode itself shows that Pearl’s a lot slicker than she thought she was. That’s a lot of codes!

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Not sure why we get a Halloween-themed promo for an episode that has nothing to do with Halloween and aired in early September, but this is me not complaining about that. (Apparently it’s actually a reference to a Japanese tradition but I don’t watch enough anime to know more about that.)

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not my third favorite, but this episode is really high up there. The cream of the crop are episodes that give me the purest emotional reactions: Mirror Gem nails dread, Lion 3 and Alone Together embody two different kinds of wonder, and Steven and the Stevens, Hit the Diamond, and Last One Out of Beach City just make me unspeakably happy.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

#last one out of beach city #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

[tare-chan]

My  Thoughts on FFH

Yap, a little late, but I need to recollect my thought on FFH by rewatching it :P

I’m separating my indepth review for the Spideychelle scenes, cause that might be already very long by it’s own 

so, beware of long post, under the cut

totally love how FFH was delivered. A bit dissapointed that we didn’t get to see how Peter prepared for his vacation. I mean, I could sit for 3 hours to watch depressing movie (cough-Endgame-cough), sure I will be able to sit another 3 hours long of an action packed- super funny- and also akward fluffy- movie such as FFH. Sometimes, I feel this movie is a little bit fast paced, but at the end, I didn’t regret what Jon Watts made for us. And the actor-actress also didn’t exagerated when they said that this movie is much bigger, much action packed, much funnier, and much fluffier, than the first one. 

totally love FFH!

what I like:

Peter trying hard to move on, and live his ‘teenager’ life as ‘normal’ as possible. This message was delivered through out the movie, and Tom’s acting is awesome!

Ned being a supportive BFF, and eventhough reluctant to be Peter’s wingman, he still did it. And as good karma always return the favor, he managed to enjoy his vacation the fullest, with his girlfriend Betty. :) I love how he sometimes feels bad for ‘leaving’ Peter and enjoying himself, but he did tried his best to be the ‘man in the chair’. 

MJ!! oh, totally love how Zendaya played her. She has so many layers in her character development, but as an anime lover, we can always resume her character in one term: Tsundere. She’s a tsundere allright!! XD a very smart - love a dark humor- tsundere. I’m totally in love with her. Great job, Ms. Z!!

Now, there’s a say that ‘a movie is just as good as its villain’. Perhaps. But I must say, I totally love Mysterio character. Now I understand why Jake Gyllenhaal was casted to play this MCU Mysterio. I didn’t actually read the comic book, so I only assume, but from what information I read through the internet, Mysterio was an “always failure in a funny way” type of villain. I’m glad MCU writter decided to give so many layers to this character. He’s smart, he’s ambitious, he’s vengeful, he planned and rehearsed thouroughly all his ‘play’, a great ‘con man’ that able to manipulate his ‘prey’ so subtly that the ‘prey’ didn’t feel manipulated, plus he has mental instability, but he didn’t want to use brute force unnecessarily. 

Did anyone noticed that the ‘illusion’ that Mysterio used on Peter, only been used after Mysterio knew that his lies was blown? At first, he didn’t want to hurt Peter. He guided Peter away to things Peter’s want, after Mysterio get what he want. Mysterio want revenge to Tony Stark, not his child, and he acknowledge that ‘the parent’s mistake are not their childrens’. But, because Peter now know Mysterio was a fraud, he need to be removed. At the drones attack sequences, several times, we see that Mysterio feel contended to just: drop Peter to the bridge bellow his stage, slammed Peter with a car and dropped him to the river, build a drone fortress so Peter won’t be able to come closer. At the end, after Peter already ruined all of his defence, then he went to his last resort: tried to shoot Peter’s head. 

Mysterio is also very observant. Did anyone noticed the sequences of illusions was actually all of things that he learnt from Peter himself?? Peter’s guilt and mourn of Tony’s death, his likeness to MJ, his plan to take MJ to the top of eiffel tower, his doubt of his own spider power/that he’s not good enough to step up as an avenger, and untill the very end, that Peter really care about his identity be kept a secret. Mysterio use all that, to manipulate Peter’s senses, and even there’s illusion inside illusions, mini illusions here and there. I am blown away!!

Clearly this illusion sequences are one of my favourite scenes in the movie. It was executed beautifully!! Great job CGI teams!! 

Other things that blown me away?? The action sequences! Totally love the action choreography. We did see how agile Peter is. Jumping, twisting mid air, flipping here and there, running, etc. Beautiful! 

My top favourite action sequence is of course, the climax battle against the drones. Seeing Spider-Man showing off his agility, jumping here and there, web placements, and even make up a temporary grenades from scraps?? Awesome!! And of course don’t forget the time where Peter activated his spidey senses, or Peter tingle. When the bgm suddenly went silent.... Peter closes his eyes.... then.... wham ... wham wham!! Oh gosh!! That’s one heck of a choreography! Again... I’m blown away! Mr. Tom, your stunts are amazing!! 

I also like how happy Peter was shown at the ending. Happily swinging around NY, doing so many different way of swinging. Shouting with glee when gliding.... this boy just got everything right, he’s in his hometown, and he’s happy. And I’m happy too! Well... until the mid credit scene that make my jaw dropped. 

Not only the sequence itself where Peter’s cover was blown.... but the appearance of J. Jonah Jameson, played by non other than JK Simmons!! I was so excited! Even though he was always at the opposite side of Spider Man, the world of Spider Man felt incomplete without him. And there’s no other actor can played him perfectly than JK Simmons. YAY!!

Peter’s interaction with Happy was also a highlight in this movie. Both were devastated by Tony’s death, and now Happy feels obligated to take care of Peter too. Take care in an actual ‘butler’ type of take care. He’s like Jarvis to Tony. Happy also has gone softer in FFH. And his relations with Aunt May, just emphasized that. :D 

A little bit disappointed because there’s not enough Aunt May....

But all in all... FFH is definitely my top favourite MCU movies and favourite Spider-Man movies up untill now. :)

#wow... now that’s so very long post ^^; If you managed to be at the end of my ramblings.... thank you very much! 

#FFH spoilers #ffh spoiler

[skittlestrash]

so...i’m just going to ramble a bit, and be completely honest as much as i can. 

naturally i had all of these thoughts sorta planned in my head and now i’m like ??? where did they go?? but sure okay here we go.

i am...unfortunately, a person ruled by her emotions. like, in every way. i have a very strong logic-core, in that i can know, one hundred percent, that something is fair or logic or blah blah whatever and that will still just. get buried underneath how my heart feels about it. no matter how much i tell myself to follow the logical part i know is true.

so therefore, i have seen tons of people saying that if they had just planned and handled q’s death BETTER, it wouldn’t have been as bad, as offensive, as heartbreaking to us all. which...okay, may be true? logically?

but every time i see one of those, i just go - NOPE. nope, it wouldn’t be better, it would be just as fuckin bad, because quentin coldwater never should have died no matter how it happened, the end. 

and i feel like to come across as even slightly reasonable, i have to concede that yeah, of course, i’d totally be okay with it in that case! but i’m lying, because no i wouldn’t. in any way. ever.

it’s like with teen wolf, when stiles was possessed (and wow, can shows stop possessing half my otps?) and everyone else was like WOW SUCH GOOD STORY AND ACTING YAY PAIN and i was here like, sobbing and mourning the loss of vague-innocence my favorite character went through. i just didn’t want it. the only reason i can even deal with it looking back is knowing that he was okay in the end, and that the actor knew he had to keep those aspects of the character that people loved even after something so traumatic.

but now there’s no ‘okay in the end’ for quentin. they couldn’t even lie and give us false hope by being like ~oh there’s always a chance he’ll be back~ NOPE they did everything as painfully as possible and are smug about it. so no, any death for him would not be more acceptable to me.

THE OTHER WAY i am a fuckin outlier from everyone else way more adjusted than me, is all of the wonderful posts about how the characters are ours now; we own them and we will do better by them and give them endings they deserve. i mean, i love that and i agree with it--i even posted a tweet just today about a rallying cry of support for y’all making it better BUT.

i am, and apparently always have been, the type of loser that just. wants canon validation. all the fix-its in the world can make me feel better, yeah, but in the end when i’m done reading it, i just remember that officially, OFFICIALLY, it’s ruined. i can make your ideas The New Canon all i want but there is always going to be a part of me that’s just. constantly wishing and crying that actual canon had gone that way. 

i want to be able to see those stories played out on screen, with jason and hale and summer and everyone else. i don’t know HOW to be the person to just think--fuck it, this is what happens now--and be completely sincere about it. i will always, always wish it were official, with the official people.

and i hate that that seems like i’m belittling fanfic?? because i don’t mean to; you all do shit so much better than canon so many times and yet i’m like some ungrateful asshole that just wants it to be on my tv screen.

(...i swear this is not me wishing for p*rn on the show either, good lord for once i am talking about the pg13 and under stuff ;P)

so yeah. this is another thing that has been Me In Every Fandom Ever, don’t worry. at least i’m consistent i guess?? but it all makes me feel horrible, and like i’m determined to be unhappy, and i’m really sorry. 

and none of this even touches the fact that this has tainted the ENTIRE SHOW now. how do i rewatch anything and feel happy about it? find joy in the light moments? not burst into tears the second q’s first show on screen? 

going back to teen wolf, when allison died, that was the character death i felt most strongly about before this. it hurt. it still hurts, and i mourned her for so long. but i can rewatch scenes she’s in. i can rewatch the show and see allison and still enjoy her, not immediately sob because i know what happens and so therefore everything she touched is ruined. 

and for glee--i can’t rewatch that show or listen to songs cory sang on, but it’s not because it’s ruined for me. it’s because i’m still, to this day, in too much pain to really focus on cory. but finn? and the show itself that i used to adore? i can still adore it. even if i DON’T ever rewatch it, i can love what i loved about it. 

i can’t even do that with this show anymore, because they fucking obliterated it. and they don’t even CARE.

in a completely other note: i should’ve known not to watch this show the second all that animal violence and death started. it was a sign to get me the fuck away.

#honestly fuck fillory for being so fucking disappointing #quentin coldwater #meaningful conversation #lol sure

[andistillgetbutterflies]

to grief:

I haven’t written here in a while and I think it’s because I’ve felt less sad about life in general. Yea, there are still days where I feel like I’ll never find happiness, but those days don’t out number the ones where I truly feel content. That is until this week. 

I’ve loved watching glee since the beginning. The characters are the same age as me so as I went through high school, it felt like I really knew these characters and are going through it with them. At first, I really loved glee for the songs and the humour and even the teen drama that seemed so relatable yet far fetched to me. My high school had musical theatre, which I was very much involved in, and my friends and I weren’t bullied for it. In fact, we were praised. We were the cool kids and even got away with avoiding school work because the drama teacher loved us so much and would call our other teachers for us. 

Just like the glee characters, there were a lot of “incest” hookups and drama caused by who was dating who and who liked who and who kissed who. But it was a nice way to bond with people who are seniors and get invited to cool parties. 

During the time I watched glee, I realized more and more how much I enjoyed watching Santana’s character. She was witty, sarcastic, and had a no fucks given attitude that always kept her 100% real. I pride myself in trying to be as real as possible so she was definitely a character I drew towards. Throughout the years, even during the horrible season 5 and 6, I still kept up watching the show, mostly watching for Santana. I’d like to say she carried the show, but reality is I saw a lot of myself in her. The more I watched, the more I became interested in the actors. I’ve always wanted to be famous - I mean I did audition for Disney once. So I’ve found myself drawn to the actors, especially Naya Rivera who played Santana on the show. I’ve imagined ways I’d bump into the cast and how that’ll easily transition into a friendship. So I guess my imagination really brought us closer than we were. 

During COVID-19 and quarantine, I decided to rewatch glee again. The convenience of Netflix and me being laid off gave me insomnia and glee was the perfect fix. I get to sing along and relive my high school years and remember why I loved this show so much. I once again started imagining what it would be like if I moved to LA and how I’d be able to befriend them, even after all these years. My obsession came back as if no years has passed between high school and now. So when the news of Naya Rivera’s passing broke, that hit me hard. 

I’ve never understood why people mourned celebrities they’ve never met. I know people cried when Michael Jackson died or when Whitney Houston died. But I never understood it. How can you feel for someone so deeply if you’ve never met them and you don’t even know who they really are? I guess now I know how it feels.

During the days she went missing, I constantly refreshed every social media page I had and the other cast members to see if I would receive any updated news. I constantly had the gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t shake it off no matter how hard I tried. 

When the press conference finally announced they found a body in the lake and it was her, I lost sense of reality. It was like time stopped and I didn’t want to believe this was real. I constantly felt sad, and every time I refreshed my social media, someone was mourning her which made me more sad. I couldn’t control the tears that were falling down my face and I couldn't, still can’t, grasp exactly why it hit me so hard. She will always be a part of my growing up and I will forever thank her for the excitement she brought me through her character. But that’s not the only reason why I’m sad. 

I’ve always been terrified of death. When I went to church as a kid, a youth pastor pulled each of us aside and explained the concept of heaven. I broke down crying and couldn’t understand what that meant and how that was guaranteed. “Will I see my mom and dad again?”, I asked. I couldn’t fathom that this life ends and that everything I know or have will disappear and I won’t even know or feel it. So to me, everything that means ANYTHING to me at all, I try not to think about it ending. Almost like everything related to me can escape death. So when I found out about Naya, my reaction was, what do you mean she’s gone? How can she be alive yesterday and gone today? I literally just saw her Instagram story and her tweeting. I didn’t, and still don’t, quite understand it. 

As you can probably tell, I haven’t lost a lot of people in my life, or at least people I remember losing. The closest to my memory would be my aunt who was battling cancer, but I was very young and the only grief I remember having is seeing my mother in the back seat of the car bawling her eyes out after hearing a certain song on our way to go fishing. I’d never forget that look. 

And as I continued my grief, silently of course, because my Asian parents would never understand, I thought I’d reach out to my best friend. He’s very special to me and someone that I really fell in love with. The last person I ever loved til this day. We always played phone tag and would check in on each other every now and then. We would always try to be happy for each other on whatever we’re up to and try to encourage each other to chase our dreams. We’re both Gemini’s so we’re ambitious like that. To my surprise, he responded “who is this”. This never happens, because he usually says its him and he knows my number since I haven’t changed it since 2012. That’s when I get a call from him. 

I was hesitant to answer at first because I was nervous. I always got nervous around him, even after all these years. But when I picked up, a woman answered. To be honest, I thought it was his girlfriend and she didn't want me messaging him. He always had a lot of girlfriends, some were crazier than others so I wasn’t too surprised. But, it wasn’t. I wish it was a crazy girlfriend. Instead, it was his mom. 

His mom remembered my name, I even met her once. I was happy to hear that he talked about me to her because it shows that I meant something to him. But I cannot believe what she said next.

“Carter passed away on July 3, we actually had a funeral last Thursday.”

What. The. Fuck. 

As I continue to stutter and apologize for having to put his mom in this situation, I can’t help but wonder what happened. So as I tiptoed around the subject I finally asked, “was it sudden?”

“He killed himself. I try to be honest about it. I don’t know if he told you about his mental health problems, but he’s been sad for a long time.”

I knew about his depression and mental health struggles. I knew that he had a rough childhood and he resented his dad for leaving him. He fought with his mom all the time, and she kicked him out on multiple occasions. But he found love from his grandparents, which are who he stayed with most of the time. I knew all this, but I didn't realize how bad it had gotten. I wish I had. 

Ever since we were kids, I’ve always tried to be a good influence to him. I even tried to convince him to come to summer school with me, which let’s be honest, he barely showed up for school during the year and that was mandatory so why would he ever go to summer school. But he entertained the idea for me, like he always did with everything I suggested. I guess he didn’t want to disappoint me. And as we grew up and grew apart, mostly because he moved and changed schools a million times and I went off to University in a different province, we still kept in touch. He has always struggled with finding a passion and what he wanted to do with his life. First he wanted to make music, which he did for a while, then he turned to art. I thought this would be his biggest break through, his art was amazing. I suggested he should be a tattoo artist since he loved tattoos and is clearly good at drawing. So when we chatted back in March of 2019, he had let me know he is restructuring himself and even went to an open house at OCAD and centennial to enrol if he doesn’t hear back from a tattoo apprenticeship. Then December 2019 came around and he let me know he was in a transitional phase with his art and might want to go into animation so he could work from home. He even suggested he’d come visit me in Montreal. I know he never would, but just the fact that he suggested made me so happy. We even tried to make plans to meet up, I really wish I had pressed him for these plans because maybe he needed to see me for a reason. 

Nothing until now had been a red flag for me. I tried to always be positive and whatever dream he was chasing after next, I tried to be supportive and reaffirm that he did have talent and he will figure it out. But in February, his art on Instagram had taken a darker turn. I didn’t notice at first because he posted sporadically and also the Instagram algorithm only gives you a piece a time so if you didn’t go on his profile you wouldn't see the full picture. But his Instagram story caught my eye. It was a post along the lines of if he died, no one would even care. I immediately messaged him letting him know I would. He said thank you and quickly changed the topic to visiting me again in Montreal. I should’ve said something more. I should've called him because he clearly wasn’t being honest. 

When I moved back home this summer thanks to COVID, something inside of me kept telling me to text him. If only I had texted him a couple of weeks earlier. If only I had reached out to him then. Maybe, this would’ve changed everything.

I always thought we would’ve found our way back into each others lives. I’ve played over a million scenarios in my head of how we’d be as close as we were back in high school. I even imagined the day I had the guts to tell him how much I’ve loved him and how long I loved him for. But now I’ll never get the chance. 

I wish he saw how much he meant to me. How I’d smile when I see his name come up on my blackberry messenger with an incoming text. Or when he’d call me babe even though we weren’t dating. A friend who read over my shoulder used to laugh at me because the way we texted sounded cheesier and more in a relationship than my friend and her actual boyfriend. He always thought he was a ball of darkness, but he never knew how much light he brought into my life. To me, he’ll always be that kid we spent hours in Toys R Us sitting in children couches, hiding from the staff and talking about life. The goofy guy who photobombed a family at the CNE, and when the family saw, they just laughed because that’s just how charming he was. The guy who my parents picked up from his house to drive us to the movies and they even caught us, you behind me with your arms around me while we waited to be picked up (my mother immediately decided to have the birds and the bees talk with me the next day at a Swiss Chalet, thanks for that). And as we got older, we promised to marry each other if we were still single by 30, it was one of those promises we made to each other prompted by a silly rom com. But he didn’t even hesitate. He even agreed to have a skydiving wedding with me and say “I Do” in the air. He was the first person I told about this crazy sky diving onto an island wedding idea and like always, supported me even when I’m out of my mind. To me, he was perfect. 

Right from the beginning he said to me “don’t fall in love with me”, at the time he had a few unfaithful relationships and a few toxic ones. He thought he wasn’t worth me loving him because he would ruin everything. 

Well Carter Avery Benitez, from the day I stalked your Facebook after only meeting you for an evening at your ex girlfriends house and messaged you, desperately wanting to get to know you, there was no way I wouldn’t fall in love with you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart. June 13, 1994 - July 3, 2020, rest in paradise my love. 

#rant #trigger: death #trigger: suicide