#my sister keeps being like 'oh get a shower!!!' but she's made it fuckin impossible

[sensitivegoblin]

I'm having a bad day cus I slept all day and no one's on a schedule here so autistically speaking I'm fucked up

Vent below

#I'm feeling a lot of sad feelings #I had a really good dream (I keep having this dream of a much more exciting life so they're good and bad dreams) - #- that I was ordering a really meaty chicken sandwich with gravy and now I've woken up to the fact I only have old Lomein to eat🫠 #that's not my biggest problem regarding dreams but it's getting under my skin #now I'm hungry and it's too late for food #my sister keeps being like 'oh get a shower!!!' but she's made it fuckin impossible #she freaks out if the shower isn't pristine like nobody was ever in there #and with my chronic pain it's really really really hard to do all of her shitty lil extra rules #I wish I was dead honestly I'm so tired of this and I'm tired all the time #I need to take my pills but what's the point #nothing is ever gonna get better..... #for 24 years I've been sad all the time with no explanation #I wish I could kill myself now honestly why am I such a pussy #I'm so cooped up in this house too #my dad had a set schedule so I could look forward to getting out at least once a week #now I'm just rotting in the basement 24/7 cus my sleep is off and I never get to go anywhere fun #I hate my life so much :( #I don't see the point in staying alive but I'm so fucking scared of failing

[agathasangel]

you deserve to feel good all the time (sally mckenna x reader)

for anon who requested: “oh okay so me and my overactive imagination have a new autistic reader idea 😅what about reader and her parent(s) goes to Hotel Cortez. her parent(s) aren’t the best, maybe they’re kind of abusive and don’t accept reader because she’s autistic. well, Countess ends up feeding on her parent(s) so reader is left alone. reader finds out and maybe has a meltdown, but Sally is there and surprisingly knows a lot about autism so she’s able to calm reader down and help her through it. reader has to either stay at the hotel or go live somewhere else because her parent(s) were all she had so Sally makes the decision to have reader stay at the hotel and take care of her because obviously she would do a better job than Countess because Sally knows more about how to help someone who’s autistic. and reader ends up bonding with Sally too because of how accepting she was and her parents were never like that. i know this is super specific and you don’t have to do it, but i thought i would share in case you were willing to do it. 😊”

so yeah basically that’s the summary ^^ also this is kind of an AU because the timeline I’m using does not line up with the show at all lol.

Trigger Warnings for meltdowns, death, ableism and mentions of sally’s drug addiction

I myself am autistic (at least according to my therapist) and a lot of these reactions/experiences that the reader has related to her autism are my own or close to my own. Hopefully I do this request justice and do a good job and don’t oversimplify anything.

You ran through the hotel, searching for your parents, but they were nowhere in sight. 

Breathe, you thought to yourself, don’t break down, they’re probably just out getting food or something and didn’t want you bothering them. You just have a couple hours of freedom, you can let yourself enjoy it.

You tried to enjoy the few hours you got to yourself without your parents. Without them mocking the way you talk or walk or move your hands, without them grabbing you with full knowledge of how uncomfortable it makes you. No cracks about how you had to leave college because you “can’t take care of yourself”.

The first words your dad said after you checked into the hotel were “God, it would be so much easier if we had a normal kid, wouldn’t it?”

As if you didn’t have feelings. As if you weren’t a human being who could fucking hear them.

It was 4pm. Your parents didn’t come back.

6pm. Nothing.

10. No sign of them. Neither one answering their phones. Maybe they’re finally abandoning you the way they’ve threatened to for ages.

Midnight. Still nothing.

2am and you started looking again. You couldn’t find anything. 

What happened?

You started to panic and could feel a full-on meltdown coming on.

You tried to be still and silent, but it proved impossible. You began to cry and cry uncontrollably, rocking and hitting your head, unable to stop. You felt like your life was ending. 

Two women showed up beside you. One was older and appeared to be the manager of the hotel, the other was a bit younger, with crimped blond hair and heavy makeup. You barely noticed either of them, however.

The older one touched your back and you screamed. You hated when people touched your back.

“Hey, do you want to take my hand, honey? It’ll be alright, I promise.” said the blonde woman. You obeyed her.

“Wh-Who are you? Where are my parents? Do you know?”

“Your parents... died. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. It was The Countess..” said the older woman.

You couldn’t speak, but you had about a billion questions for the two women. For example, Who the fuck is The Countess?

“You don’t need to speak. Just breathe, okay? In and out, good. Good girl. I’m Sally, by the way. This is Iris. You’re gonna be okay, I promise. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.”

You waved, not knowing what to do, completely overwhelmed.

“You know what, it’s late. I’m gonna take her back to my room and have her rest. We’ll deal with the rest of this shit tomorrow when she can talk and isn’t so clearly exhausted,” said Sally.

“I-I.....can..... talk. It’s...okay.” you said, each word making you more spaced out and tired.

“No. You’ve been through too much. I’m taking you up to my room and you’re gonna rest. You don’t have to speak or do anything you don’t want to do.”

You followed Sally, so scared and tired and in need of some damn sleep.

“You’re safe with me. I promise. Here’s, um, the bed. Get some sleep. I’ll be right here if you need anything. The Countess doesn’t want to hurt you either, I think she wanted to- it doesn’t matter now.”

“Who is... The C-Countess?”

“It’s a long story and you likely won’t believe me until you meet her. But it’s alright, you’re safe. I’ll protect you. Can I come over there and hold you?”

You nodded. Sally got on her bed next to you and put an arm around you. You winced as she touched your upper back.

“You don’t like when people touch you there, do you?”

You shook your head no, and she put your arms around your waist instead.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, I understand.”

Sally made you feel more comfortable speaking and you said,

“My parents didn’t understand that. They used to touch me there as much as they could, just to upset me. They laughed at me trying to keep my wet hair off my back when I took a shower. They thought it was funny.”

“What does that feel like to you?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t, like, hurt, but it’s terrible, it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.”

“Aw, honey...”

“It’s dumb, I’m sorry I’m so sensitive.”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize. You know, you remind me of my baby sister. I loved that girl so much when we were growin’ up. I practically raised her. So God only knows how she turned out as good as she did. Our parents were terrible, they were never there. She was the only one who stayed with me. Until she didn’t.”

“What happened to her?”

“It was all my fault, really. I put her in danger. I sold drugs in the 90s, and I started using when we were living together. She was in school, and I had to find her somewhere safer to live. So I did. She’s okay, very successful actually, and she’s still alive. I’m the one who died young. I miss her.”

“You... died? What? I’m sorry, you-”

“Yes. I’m a ghost, The Countess is a vampire, I think Iris might also be a vampire now too? I don’t know. I know you think I’m crazy now but trust me.”

Sally saw your look of disbelief, then held out her hand and said, “Watch.”

As she spoke her fingers began to disappear and reappear.

“What-”

“I’m a ghost. I can alter the way I’m seen by others, if I want to. I’m surprised other ghosts don’t do it more often really. One time I scared some kid by making all my teeth fall out. It was awesome. I didn’t wanna scare you though. I like you.”

“Thanks?”

“Sorry, I-”

“No, it’s- um, how did you die?”

“Iris fuckin’ pushed me out the window.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“What was your sister like?”

“She was the best. Sweet, talented, sensitive. But people didn’t understand her. I did, though. At least best I could. We only had each other. Our parents didn’t care, the kids at school bullied her relentlessly. I had to protect her. She sometimes had meltdowns like the one you had earlier too-”

“I’m sorry-”

“No! It’s not your fault! You were terrified. Anyone would be. It was pretty intense though, I was worried.”

“Was your sister autistic like me?”

“She was. We didn’t know for sure until after she stopped living with me, but we both kinda knew.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, it’s almost four in the morning, you really gotta get some sleep. Come here.”

You did, and you fell asleep in Sally’s arms.

When you woke up, Sally was still there, as well as another woman, blonde and glamorous. They were arguing.

“What do I do then if you don’t want me to turn her? Kill her-”

“Please don’t hurt her, I can- she-”

Sally noticed you were awake, and saw your scared face.

“It’s okay, no one’s gonna hurt you. I’ll protect you.”

The blonde woman who you assumed was The Countess approached you.

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

You shook your head no. Sally spoke up for you, intuiting that you must be stressed.

“She can stay with me. I’ll make sure she’s safe. She won’t bother you or anything. She’s sweet and quiet and-”

“Sally, it’s okay. You want her, you keep her.” said The Countess.

“Alright. Thanks. Can you get out of my room now? You’re freaking her out.”

She left without saying a word.

“I’m sorry about that, (y/n). You’re safe here. You can stay as long as you need to. I’ll be here. This is a dangerous place but I’ll make sure you’re safe, alright?”

“Okay.”

You still felt sad. Not about staying with Sally, you liked her, but about the way The Countess talked about you. The way your parents talked about you. 

“Hey. I just want you to know that I don’t see you as some kind of pet or anything. I know that’s what you’re thinking, that’s how people treated my sister sometimes too. It was awful. No, I just want- I just want you to be okay. I want someone to spend time with. it’s awful lonely being a ghost, but I thought maybe if-”

“I understand, Sally. I like you a lot, and I want to stay here. It’s just sad the way most people see me.”

“It isn’t your fault, you know. I need you to know that.”

“I do. You make it easier to feel okay because you’re so nice to me.”

“I’m glad. You deserve to feel good all the time.”

You started to tear up a bit. No one had ever said that to you before. You were always expected to make yourself uncomfortable, speak when you didn’t want to, shut up when you wanted to talk, wear clothes that pinched, let people touch you when it made your skin crawl, and you were still made fun of because still, somehow, none of it was enough. But with Sally you didn’t have to do any of that, and yet you still felt loved by her in a way that you never have been before.

“Aw, hey, don’t cry. You’ll be okay. I’m gonna make sure of it. I can’t actually leave the hotel, but I can make sure you get everything you need. Are you a picky eater by any chance?”

“A little bit, but not as much as I used to be.”

“Alright. And you’re good on clothes?”

“I think so.”

“Good. I’ve gotta say, I’m excited. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a real connection to anyone here.”

“You really feel a connection with me?”

“Yes, honey, I do. Do you.... feel the same way?” Sally asked you. She said it as if she was worried you may say no.

“I do, Sally. I really do. I know how it feels to be lonely like you are. It’s how I’ve felt my whole life. Maybe... I...”

“Maybe you’ll learn to love it here. Once you’re comfortable I’ll introduce you to the other ghosts. They’re annoying, but we’re still a family or whatever it is they call it. They’ll like you. I promise.”

You spent the rest of the day in Sally’s room with her, barely talking, not really even needing to talk. She was the one who broke the silence by telling you

“I like this. Just being here.”

“Me too.”

“I want to kiss you. Can I?”

“Yes.”

You had never been kissed before, but you let Sally be your first. You felt so... loved by her as she kissed you and held you lightly by your waist.

You stayed in the hotel with Sally, and it quickly felt more like home than anywhere else you’ve ever lived. You became a part of the family, and you and Sally fell deeper in love. Sally protected you, knowing the dangers of the hotel, and made sure you felt okay. Your meltdowns became far less frequent as you were no longer being forced to be someone you weren’t.

#my fics

[theforce]

presumptive horrible rotten case of corona: symptoms

presumptive bc i couldnt get a god damn test i live in new york and while there are testing sites all over the state and our state govt is doing what they can now, i don’t want to be the person taking away a test from someone else especially now that i am mostly better, most of this went down at the beginning of the month and i’m still dealing with the effects of it. 

there was a lot of confusion here even as recent as 2 weeks and we are the state that’s testing more than the rest of the entire country so here is my account of what went down w me, and honestly, what might go down with you or someone you know as soon as this reaches your state

1) i threw up all night long, thought it was a stomach virus, had a lot of stomach issues for like 24 hours, very strange i haven’t had a stomach virus in YEARS since i was a literal child, anyways right before i started puking up my life i developed this weird cough, it felt like it was from my throat, like i was trying to clear it? but it was often and annoying 

2) after my 24 hours of hell i felt feverish and exhausted but i chalked it up to being on the floor of the bathroom all night, exerting my esophagus and body to throw up the devil himself, i tried to sleep it off, i woke up a few hours later in a fog, i was shivering but i was also burning up, i couldn’t tell left from right, up from down, my fever was 100.3, at this point i had my mom call my doctor and make an appointment, she made it for me w the receptionist, everything was fine until 20 minutes later i got a call back from my actual doctor not the receptionist who was like, oh no not you’re not coming here with those symptoms baby and i was like ?? ok cool thanks, she said to keep watching my symptoms, slam some tylenol and if i felt shortness of breath to call or text her personal cell phone and she would get me set up at the nearest hospital i said ok sounds fucked up i mean i didn’t say that bc i was too fucked up to even speak, she also gave my mom instructions to keep me in my room, to not go near me, to give me a designated bathroom, to have food and water delivered to my door, my mom was like u dont gotta tell me twice (she has lupus) during this time my cough become dry and horrible, i could feel my lungs rattle, i would cough so hard and for so long i’d wake from my feverish coma to kneel over my bed and just let loose on the world, it felt like i was drowning, i couldn’t get enough air everything hurt, everything was sore 

3) things continued on like this for 5 straight days, i was literally in and out of consciousness, my fever got up to 102 and my mom said that if it raised at all from there we were going to the fuckin hospital and i was like listen la rona i know u wanna take me out but i havent even ever eaten a krispy kreme donut, please let me survive this i can’t leave this way, in that moment i literally had a fever dream of god herself, i said take this from me and i’ll stop being such a cunt in life. i started slamming hot toddy’s, i’d drink as much water as possible in between the time i wasnt literally trying to expel my lungs by way of my mouth

4) woke up from that whole ordeal drenched in SWEAT from my feet to my head i was soaked, it was gross, at that point i still had a sense of smell so let me tell you my last and final symptom should have kicked in a bit earlier but i checked my temp and it was normal! i didn’t feel like my head was going to explode! but i had new things going on i had a new stuffy/runny nose, my cough was producing some liquid which i proceeded to throw up into a mcdonalds cup i took a shower, i brushed my teeth, i felt like a brand new woman, i had cold like symptoms but i can live with cold like symptoms, i had an appetite for the first time in a week, felt like i could eat my whole family out of house and home given the opportunity, i’d lost 20 pounds in less than 2 weeks and ya girl was honestly, looking good but THAT’S A BAD WAY OF THINKING disregard please thank you, at this point i went into my doctor with a full on mask, gloves, hair pulled back, she gave me every test you can think of, most importantly a flu test which is all she could do since getting a test was impossible at this pint, which of course came back negative 

5) things continued like this for weeks, up until right now actually, exhaustion was gone, fever gone, cough still here and there but not like how it was, i’ve put on makeup in my room, i’ve watched every season of law and order svu, i’ve gone on drives in my car just to drive, i’ve tried to keep myself as busy as possible, 3 days ago the strangest, most inexplicable and hopefully last symptom arrived, a complete loss of smell and bc of that taste, i’ve tried smelling candles, essential oils, laundry detergent, canned meat, my brother lit a match with my back turned and asked me what the smell was, i ate extra hot cheetos, raw onions, shot of vinegar, there’s nothing there, i just hope it comes back 

during this time i haven’t been even close to my mother, who has lupus or my sister, who has asthma, i stayed in my room, i’m still in my room actually 14 full days out from the last time i left the house, one month since this whole thing started, i eat in my room, i use a different bathroom than my whole family, everyone talks to me from my door frame besides my little brother who also was sick but recovered super fast, he bleaches the bathroom after i use it, he puts all my food on single use plates, he brings me jugs of water and reminds me of what it’s like to at least talk to another person. 

on a more serious note, i haven’t touched another person in 20 days nobody has even been within 6 feet of me besides my doctor who was administering the only tests she could administer, fully decked out in a hazmat suit, she was scared for me, i could tell, she was trying to put on a brave face and downplay the severity of my symptoms but thank god for her, she’s checked up on me, she’s tried everything, she’s put in calls, she’s made herself as available as possible even though she’s probably going through the same thing with countless other patients, i worry for her, i’ve worried for my family, i’ve stressed beyond the point of no return which has for sure slowed my recovery and i was one of the lucky ones! all of this and my case was considered mild because i never really had trouble breathing beyond being choked by my own coughing. 

people have been there for me during all of this, in ways that are further reaching than touch, i have been very vocal about not liking when people touch me but i do look forward to the day i can hug my mom, where i can tell my friend to take a sip of my drink to see if she likes it, to have someone pat me on the shoulder and tell me to keep my head up or whatever 

hopefully im on the other side of this, my more at risk family members are about to be 14 days from the last time any of them were near me or my brother, they’re at the end of a long tunnel and i’m just so happy that maybe soon we’ll all see the light 

take care of yourselves

#tw for like puke and losing weight and just overall grossness

[kayleebreanne09]

I feel so sad!

John b x reader. With a little bit of ex Rafe x reader.

So I was listening to the song You should be sad by Halsey. I’m lowkey obsessed with it & I immediately thought about this blurb idea. So the reader was with Rafe, they had a really toxic relationship & she ran away. John b saves her & puts her back together. Obviously Halsey wrote this amazing song but just for the sake of the fic, the (Y/n) character writes it. Alright I hope y’all like this because it was really fun to write. Love yall💜

It’d been 3 months since you’d ran away from everything kook related. 3 months that a certain messy haired brunette pogue had spent trying to piece your heart back together. 3 months since you ended the most toxic relationship you’ve ever had in your life. You sat on the log, curled up against John B in front of the nightly fire y’all had at the chateau. On your other side was Kie, smiling happily at you, & across the fire, JJ & Pope goofed off. These were your people now. They’d put you back together when it seemed impossible that all the pieces would ever fit right again. JJ made some stupid joke & everyone just groaned but I couldn’t help but laugh. He jumped up & ran over to me to high five me! He threw his hand up in the air a little too close to me & my body automatically flinched. My heart started to race & my vision started to go fuzzy. I ran inside, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. I raced into the bathroom, jumping in the shower & turning the water on. I sank to the floor of the shower, all my clothes still on. I sat there with my knees up to my chest & my arms curled around them, trying to keep myself from breaking. I heard footsteps & a deep sigh that I knew belonged to my boyfriend. I felt John B step into the shower behind me, sitting down with his legs on either side of me & leaning up so his head was resting on my back. “Baby, breathe. You are safe. You aren’t with Rafe anymore, no one will ever touch you again. I will always protect you” he whispered slowly drawing words on my back. He sat there drawing random shapes as the water soaked ya both. “Let’s play a game...guess what I’m writing” he then drew what felt like 12 letters. “J” I guessed for the first letter. “Yes!” He replied...we went on like that until I figured it out. “JJ is a dumbass? Really John B?” I let out a small laugh. “Okay next one” John B said as he started drawing his fingertip along the sopping wet back of my shirt. “I love you” I guessed once he’d finished the last letter. He pulled me back against him & I felt some of the tension leave my body. “Yes. & I’ll never stop loving you. I will always be the best I can for you, I’ll never let you go through what you went through before” he stated, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I love you John B. So much” I said turning & giving him a long kiss, hoping that he could feel just how much I needed him.

The next day, I was sitting on the kitchen counter watching John B make pancakes. My gaze kept drifting out the window to the calm water. Last night had stirred up some memories that were hard to deal with. Poor John B had been up half the night trying to soothe me back to sleep from my stupid nightmares. “Hey babe” John b said pulling my attention back to him. “Yeah baby, what’s up?” I asked smiling at him. “If you’re getting overwhelmed with stuff from the past, maybe you should write about it” he offered, looking back to the pan to flip the pancake. John b knew that I loved writing. It helped me get everything out. I wouldn’t call myself a song writer but I did love taking things that I’d been through & putting them into lyrics that maybe other people could relate to. If I could just help one person get through something, it’d be making a difference & that was all that I wanted. I jumped down & went to hug him from the back. I rested my head against his warm skin & just enjoyed the feeling of having John B in my arms. “That’s a good idea!” I said pressing a quick kiss to his back. “Good! Because I already texted Kie & she’s bringing her ukulele over to help” he said spinning around & swatting me on the butt with the spatula. I stood on my tip toes & pressed my lips to his as he pulled me into him. “You really are the best” I breathed out.

Kie & I sat in the hammock together, legs intertwined. She had her ukulele in her lap & I had my lyric book in mine. She reached over & pulled my pencil from behind my ear, & slid it into my hand. “Get to writing sister, I need to hear what these lyrics sound like before I can come up with a melody. Also, I’m sorry about JJ last night. He didn’t know your history with Rafe & pope chewed his ass pretty good about it.” She said as she laughed loudly. “It’s fine Kie. I just, I know what I want to say...I guess it’s just putting it into actual words is hard. Like I’m not conflicted, I’m 100% over Rafe, I just feel like none of his friends will tell him the truth. They won’t tell him that he’s turned into this monster & I feel like maybe if someone would just be honest with him, maybe he could change & find happiness in his life like I have with John B” I smiled toward the dock where John B was cleaning out the HMS Pogue. “Start there then!” Kie replied. & I did. My mind drifted back...

“Rafe, you’ve got to stop with the drugs. I can help you! You aren’t you anymo-“ I was cut off my his hand grabbing my throat & shoving me back against the wall. “Don’t tell me what I’ve got to do bitch” he snarled. His eyes were dark & pupils so dilated that I didnt even see the man that I’d grown to care about anymore. “I NEED the money, the drugs, the nice cars...I don’t need you. So you better watch the way you’re talking to me” he said, finally releasing my throat. I sank to the floor rubbing my neck where I knew bruises would form later. I took a deep breath & stood up. “I won’t do this anymore. You’ve broken me enough. You are toxic & I’m done. I’m gone & don’t you dare try to find me” I took one final look at the monster he’d become & walked away.

Kie watched as I stared off, my eyes tearing up. I felt her grab my hand & squeeze, just letting me know she was there. “I know what to write!” I said quickly scribbling down everything I wanted to say.

“I wanna start this out and say

I gotta get it off my chest

Got no anger, got no malice

Just a little bit of regret

Know nobody else will tell you

So there's some things I gotta say

Gonna jot it down and then get it out

And then I'll be on my way

No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars

I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you

'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry

I feel so sad

I tried to help you

It just made you mad

And I had no warnin'

About who you are

I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down

And then ran so fuckin' far

That you would never ever touch me again

Won't see your alligator tears

'Cause, no, I've had enough…”

Kie leaned over eyes scanning over what I’d written. “(Y/N) this is good. No, it’s amazing. I mean, I don’t even know what to say” she said hugging me tightly. “Thanks for always being there Kie” I said, leaning my head on her shoulder as the hug ended. “Now let’s get to work on this melody!”

A month passed & id been hired to play at midsummers. JJ had heard the song Kie & I came up with at the chateau & while working one day, he heard about talent tryouts to play at midsummers. He relayed the message & Kie & I went & tried out. Apparently they liked us because we were one of the acts that were hired to play. Everything went so fast & suddenly, it was a couple hours before midsummers was supposed to start. I stood in John B’s room, sliding on the dress that I’d gotten. It was a deep vneck off white dress with silver beading. John B walked in & wrapped his arms around me, looking at our reflection in the mirror. “You are so beautiful baby. You are going to be amazing tonight” I smiled at his reflection. “Are you sure you & JJ can pull off sneaking in as waiters?” I questioned. “Of course sweetheart, we are total badassea at going incognito” he said smirking. I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Good. I don’t think I could get through tonight without you” I whispered. He leaned down & brought his lips to mine. “You’ll never have to go through anything without me” he said squeezing my hips, pulling me closer to him & refusing to let me go until it was time to leave.

The lights facing the stage were blinding. I felt way too many eyes on me & way too many kooks judging me. Kie nudged my arm, smiling over at me & started to play. I put every ounce of emotion that I had into that performance. All the sadness from an ended relationship, & all the hope that I had that one day Rafe would find happiness. He & I were never meant to be, I understood that now. I just wanted him to get the help he needed. A single tear slipped down my face as I sang the last line. I wiped it away, grabbing Kies hand & bowing as the crowd cheered. I scanned the crowd to see Pope, JJ, & John B cheering in the back! “That’s my girl!” John b hollered. Security saw him & started making their way over. “Shit. Come on guys! Mandatory pogue meeting at the chateau!” JJ yelled. Kie ran to JJ as he spun her around & she then threw her arms around JJ & Pope. “Cmon baby!” John b yelled. I yanked up the bottom of my dress, kicked off my heels, grabbing them off the ground & took off running....Launching myself into his waiting arms. He kissed me long & hard. “Time to go!” He said pulling my hand & dancing away right as the pissed off security guard dove at us. I threw my head back laughing as John B bent down & I jumped on his back. He carried me all the way to the waiting HMS Pogue & we all rode off into the night.

Rafe stood in silence staring after the girl he had lost. He knew he’d done everything wrong in the relationship. Maybe she was right. Maybe the drugs couldn’t fill the hole he had inside. He decided then & there that he would get clean. He would fix things with his dad. He finally had closure, & maybe one day, he would find the love that he knew she had found.

#outer banks #the outer banks #obx netflix #rafe cameron #rafe obx #john b #john b routledge #john b fanfic #john b fanfiction #john b obx #john booker routledge #john b x reader #john b imagine #Spotify

[emma-nation]

In My Veins (KamilahxMC) - Season 2 - Chapter 10

Summary: Inspired by Lovestruck’s “Havenfall is For Lovers” (Antonio). Amy seems to finally have solved her feelings for Kamilah, but when somebody from her past returns, their relationship will be put to test.

Genre: Romance, Angst

Rating: T

KamilahxMC Tag List: @iam-the-fuckin-queen, @annabellewerecorgi, @voltos9, @scorpistraub, @leavemeandmyshipsalone, @jen825, @andreear17, @spacecarrousel, @justejuste727, @aureliaxj, @graceschoices, @sleeping-with-her06, @supersphynxsworld, @gavryllo, @galaxyside-0, @msuhailey, @zoe6111, @noodledragon22, @tigerbryn11, @shanuuh, @ilovetaylor13m, @honorablebicycle, @ilovekamilahsayeed, @begging-for-kamilah, @kennaxval, @fal-carrington​

“Sure, Amy,” Kamilah grabbed both of Amy’s shaking, agitated hands and looked into her eyes. “What’s going on?”

“I want…” the words wouldn’t come out. How could she even start saying that? “I-I…”

Before she could finish her sentence, their conversation was interrupted by Jax, who looked somehow anxious and scared.

“I’m sorry for interrupting, but we must return to New York immediately. Nikhil has informed me several cultist groups have been spotted on the streets and…”

“And?”

“Apparently Gaius is leading them. He’s threatening to start a slaughter if we…” he lowered his voice to keep the last part from Amy, but she heard anyways. “If we don’t surrender them Amy.”

As he left, Kamilah was paralyzed, staring at nothing. Her expression was blank, unreadable. While Amy was unable to tell how the female vampire felt, inside her own chest she felt a turmoil of emotions.

“I hate all of this,” she exploded. “I hate how I’m always in danger! I hate how I’m always a burden! I hate…”

Kamilah finally turned her attention back to her. She took a deep breath, approached and touched the girl’s face in reassurance.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Amy.”

“Do you really think?”

“Did I ever lie to you?”

The small smile that appeared on the corners of Kamilah’s lips was enough to bring her some comfort. Amy smiled back.

———-

Inside the airplane, all the vampires reunited to start planning their next move. The main priority at the moment was to keep Amy safe, until they could plot an effective attack against Gaius.

Back to New York, Amy was taken to where everything started, Kamilah’s mansion. The female vampire was convinced there wasn’t any safer place for her to be.

“So, Lily was being serious when she said your mansion has one of those metal defense systems like in The Purge, huh?”

“Surprisingly, I understood that reference,” Kamilah forced a smile while carrying her bags back to her old bedroom. “But when it comes to Gaius it’s not enough. Adrian suggested we change locations often and he’s right.”

“I’m scared,” Amy sat down on the bed and sighed. “This is why I was thinking…”

Lysimachus joined them in the bedroom, carrying the rest of her stuff. He didn’t look the same as before. His pale skin now had the same golden brown tone as his sister’s. He was also strong and active.

“This is everything,” he announced. “I’m glad you’re back, Amy. This house hadn’t the same energy without you. Kamilah, for example, was grumpy 24/7.”

“Hey,” Kamilah angered. “I thought you were supposed to be training with Adrian?”

“Honestly, I’ve never felt greater in my life, sister. We can leave it for another occasion.”

“This is what you think. Wait until you start feeling hungry again. With no self-control you’ll look at mortals and see their veins glowing like a golden river.”

“Wha…” Lysimachus looked at Amy in a way he had never done before. His eyes went wide and a pale coloration returned to his face. “I… I better go. Bye.”

As he left the room, Kamilah let out a small devilish laugh.

“Oh my god!” Amy finally grinned. “You’re so mean.”

“It’s a sibling thing. Besides, temptation will be around him all the time, he needs to learn how to control himself around mortals.”

In silence, the girl reflected about her words. Would she be strong enough to deal with temptation? Or would she lose control and become like Priya or The Baron?

Kamilah examined their surroundings, concluding everything was set for Amy’s stay.

“So you’re safe for now. I’ll be in the room next door, in case you need anything.”

Amy nodded and lied on the comfortable bed. For a moment Gaius slipped out of her mind and she started wondering if things would ever be the same between she and Kamilah again. The more she wished, more it seemed impossible.

———-

The streets of New York were chaotic. The buildings being consumed by fire, while Ferals and deranged vampires chased after helpless mortals. Blood was being spilled everywhere.

“Oh my god…” Amy walked among that scenario lost and searching for a familiar face.

She entered the intact Ahmanet Financial building.

“Kamilah?!”

In the main hall, her ex-girlfriend was fatally wounded with a stake in her chest. Amy held her in her arms, watching as she converted into ash. By her side, the rest of her friends faced the same fate. One by one.

“N-No,” the girl sobbed. “Please… not again…”

It was the same dream from every night, with one difference, Amy was surrounded by masked figures. Gaius emerged in the middle of them, eyes red and fangs exposed.

“The time has come, My Lady.”

“No!”

Amy struggled to leave that place, but she couldn’t move. Gaius was walking in her direction, being closer and closer.

“Please, somebody help me! No!”

She attempted to run again, when…

“Ouch,” her entire body ached as she hit the ground.

“Amy!” Kamilah opened the bedroom’s door in a hurry. “Are you alright? You were screaming.”

She looked around, realizing she was safe in her bedroom. Kamilah offered her hand, helping her to stand up. Amy noticed she was wearing nothing but a bathrobe. She blushed at the view.

“Oh, and you were…”

“Taking a shower. You scared me.”

Not being able to hold herself anymore, Amy wrapped her arms around Kamilah’s waist. She rested her head on her shoulder, where she began to sob.

“Hey, tell me what’s going on,” the female vampire spoke softly in her ear. “You’re so cold.”

The intense crying wouldn’t let Amy speak. Kamilah lighted up the fireplace and placed her near the fire.

“Lay here on the carpet. I’ll get you a blanket.”

When she returned, she positioned herself against Amy’s body, covering them both with the blanket she brought. The girl closed her eyes, enjoying how close they were. The warmness of Kamilah’s skin on hers sent electric impulses to all her body. She could almost hear the vampire’s beating heart.

“Thank you,” she was finally able to say. “I feel a lot better.”

“What happened, Amy?” Kamilah stroked her hair.

“I’ve been having nightmares for a while now. With the cultists, Gaius and this mysterious woman. I think it’s my trauma speaking louder.”

“That’s alarming. Dreams can be many things. Windows into the past… Reflections into the present… Or portents of things to come.”

“Well… now I’m really creeped out.”

“Don’t be scared. Whatever comes, we’ll face together,” Kamilah kissed her forehead. “Now, why don’t I tell you a story?”

“Story?”

“About my times in Egypt. Our mother did it all the time when Lysimachus and I were little. It helped us to get some sleep, when we were afraid of the war.”

In the female vampire’s arms, Amy closed her eyes and listened to her voice, narrating stories about her childhood and how she and Lysimachus used to drive their parents crazy. She could never picture Kamilah being a such mischievous child. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep and have the most peaceful night she had in months.

———-

In the next day, Kamilah was still acting protective and caring. Amy woke up late, but she made sure to leave her favorite meal served on the table, with a small vase of flowers. Then they drove to the Shadow Den, where they were supposed to spend a couple of days before heading to another location.

“Are you staying with me?” Amy asked. Being over 2000 years old, Kamilah was, without any doubts, the strongest vampire after Gaius.

“Of course. We need to be aware, we may have traitors amongst us,” Kamilah told. “So long as you’re with me, you’re safe.”

“Great, because I have tons of stuff to show you.”

Grabbing her hand, Amy showed her all the renovations they made after Jax was declared a member of The Council. Their last stop was at the Arcade she and Lily built together.

“Hey Amy,” as always, Lily was watching a group of vampires playing one of her machines. “And Kamilah.”

“What have I missed?”

“No one in this place can beat my score, baby. No one.”

“Is that a challenge?” Amy teased her. “Get ready to see my name above yours on that ranking.”

“Ohhhh, I’d like to see you try.”

All the vampires gathered around the arcade to watch the match between the two friends. Amy was very focused, beating every level like a pro.

“Only one level to go.”

“Hey Amy,” Lily cleared her throat, speaking in a serious and low tone. “You look so happy. Anything happened in Kamilah’s house last night?”

“What?” Remembering Kamilah in that bathrobe, lying so close to her, Amy felt her cheeks burning red. “N-Nothing hap… Hey! You were distracting me. Cheater!”

Too late, she had failed to complete the final level. Lily celebrated and wrote her name again on the screen.

“I’d like to try next,” Kamilah cracked her knuckles. “Are you in, Spencer?”

“Kamilah, please. You’re gonna embarrass yourself.”

She glanced at Amy and raised an eyebrow.

“What do you think? Do I have a chance?”

“Sure. Go get her, Kamilah!”

Amy grinned excited. Kamilah was doing great against Lily, they were tied point by point. Lysimachus and Adrian also arrived in time to watch.

“Place your bets, guys,” Amy told them, sipping a can of soda. “I’m team Kamilah.”

“For someone who never used this kind of entertainment,” Adrian smiled, “she’s doing quite well.”

“I bet on Lily,” Lysimachus said loud to provoke his sister, then lowered his voice. “Just kidding, when my sister is determined, she always get what she wants.”

Minutes later, Lily left the machine frustrated. Kamilah joined the group with a victorious smirk.

“Amy,” she told, “my name is a little bit too long. The arcade machine only accept three letters, so I wrote yours.”

“Aren’t you the sweetest?”

Amy placed a kiss on her cheek, what Kamilah retributed. The girl’s stomach growled loud, interrupting the moment.

“Would you like to get something to eat?”

———-

Never in the last few months, Amy could imagine she’d see Kamilah Sayeed sharing a portion of fries with her in a fast-food restaurant.

“Try one with ketchup.”

Kamilah rolled her eyes and took the fry from her hand, eating it hesitantly. At first, it seemed she was ingesting something toxic, but soon her expression changed.

“Verdict?” Amy asked.

“Not so bad,” the female vampire answered. “But not that I could tolerate eating that almost everyday, like you and Lily.”

“Now finish your burger.”

“Do I really have to?”

“No, but it would make me really happy.”

“You’ve got no mercy.”

Amy laughed as she observed Kamilah eating. It was very late at night and they were the only two customers at the restaurant. That could be the perfect time to bring up the subject.

“Kamilah, I’ve been thinking…” she started, pausing as the vampire’s deep brown eyes stared at her to pay attention. “I-I… I want to be... like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to be a vampire.”

Kamilah silenced and took a moment to finally say something again.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but,” she paused. “May I ask you why?”

“I’m so done being weak and vulnerable, always getting in danger. Also, being a vampire my blood will become useless for Gaius and the cultists.”

“Fair enough. I’ll give you a couple days, if you change your mind…”

“I won’t.”

Respecting Kamilah’s decision, Amy waited for the next two days. During her stay at Raines Corporation, she reunited with Lily, Adrian and Jax in the conference room to ask about their feelings regarding vampirism.

“Let me see…” Lily pondered. “You’re super strong. You don’t age. You don’t get sick. No more period cramps. No need to sleep. Hell, I love it!”

“It’s a tough decision,” Adrian had different views about it. “At some point you’ll watch as all your loved ones die. You’ll watch as the world changes. It becomes so natural you’ll be emotionally numb to almost everything.”

“It has pros and cons,” Jax placed a hand on her shoulder. “But you won’t be alone. We’ll be there for you and it’ll make the process easier to adjust.”

“So, have you made your decision?” Kamilah showed up at the door, waiting for her response.

“I did. And I keep my decision, I want to become a vampire.”

“Then, let’s go.”

“To where?”

“Adrian has agreed to borrow us his cabin in New York Upstate. We’ll be safe in there.”

Amy nodded and followed Kamilah to her car. She said a brief goodbye to the group, because she knew they’d be returning soon.

“So, not even Adrian could change your mind, huh?”

“No. I think it’ll be the best for all of us.”

“Are you scared?” Kamilah placed a hand on top of hers.

“Actually, I’m a little bit excited.”

“You’re truly remarkable and brave, Amy.”

They were both quiet during the rest of the way. Kamilah turned on the radio to play some music. That was supposed to help Amy to relax.

By the time they arrived at Adrian’s cabin, it was already night. While Amy took a shower and changed her clothes, Kamilah prepared the living room for the Turning ritual. She placed a bedroll near the fireplace and the sarcophagus nearby.

“Are you ready?” She asked when Amy walked in the living room.

“Yes,” Amy answered, confident and decided. She could tell Kamilah was a little bit nervous.

“Okay, so… you’ll lie down here and I’ll feed from you. This time I won’t stop, you’ll start feeling weak until you lose conscience and then…”

“I’ll die.”

“Exactly, and I’ll give you my blood. When you wake up in six hours, you’ll be a vampire.”

Amy lied on the bedroll like Kamilah told. The female vampire followed her, staring deeply into her eyes as her body climbed on top of the girl’s.

“Do it,” Amy ordered.

“Amy, I can’t lose you. That’s nothing something I could bear,” Kamilah’s lips brushed softly on hers. “I lo…”

“Don’t say it yet. Save it for when I wake up.”

Kamilah nodded in agreement and closed the distance, parting Amy’s lips with her tongue. The girl could feel her heart pulsing, fast and anxious. Their kiss lasted minutes and when they stopped, Kamilah placed kisses all the way down to her neck. Amy could feel the tips of her fangs against her skin, ready for that deadly bite. She closed her eyes, trying to remain calm.

“It’s the best for everyone. After that, I’ll no longer be weak or vulnerable again.”

She was embracing her imminent fate.

Kamilah suddenly stopped.

“No,” she shook her head in denial, going to the windows. “It can’t be.”

“Kamilah, what’s wrong?” Amy followed her.

“They’re here, Amy. I can feel them.”

“Who?”

“Gaius and the cultists. They’re here to take you.”

#bloodbound #kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #playchoices #choices stories you play #bloodbound fanfiction

[pandemicthestory]

6: hooked

Is Isabel in danger?

With her lying there like a drugged out rag doll, it’s hard to tell. Heartbeat, breathing, she’s definitely alive...but then, why can’t she hear Emma? Something’s telling Emma not to touch the headset--no matter what’s going on with Isabel’s body, her mind is in there somewhere. And according to every movie ever, you don’t fuck with the brain. 

Emma scrambles to check out the packaging--no return address. But obviously, she knows who had to have sent this. And he knows about Universe, so he better have answers. 

Emma makes a mad dash to her bedroom. Her dad calls from downstairs.

“Did you get the package?”

“YEAH IT WAS A T-SHIRT”

A t-shirt? What? Her bullshitting skills are slipping. It doesn’t matter, her dad doesn’t actually care anyway, it’s just part of his new “I’m invested” routine. Emma slams her bedroom door behind her, then runs over to her computer. 

EMMA: Mason are you there?? 

EMMA: Hello?

EMMA: I think my sister is in trouble 

EMMA: She stole the headset, she started playing the game, she’s not responding to me, I’m massively freaking out if you can’t tell

EMMA: I’m sorry to ask this but did you...do something?

Who knows what this ghost person is capable of. Whatever connection she and he may or may not have...she doesn’t actually know him at all. 

She waits.  

Oddly, there’s nothing. Hadn’t he just told her about the package fifteen minutes ago? Where could he have gone? Emma slumps down in her chair. 

Why is it that men always disappear when they are needed most?

* * *

24 HOURS EARLIER 

A teenage boy is taking a shower in a minimalistic stall. He bows his head toward the showerhead, the powerful stream sends his wavy black hair in all directions. The boy makes the water hotter. And hotter. The skin on his neck is turning a deep shade of red, but it’s unclear if he can even feel it.

“Night, hurry the hell up. I gotta shower too.” 

The complaining breaks the peace of the showering boy. He turns off the faucet, wraps himself in a pristine white bath towel, and makes way for his roommate to take over. 

“Why d’you shower so much, man? Shit’s creepy.” 

“That’s why I do it, Sugar, to creep you out. Keeps you on your toes.”

Sugar laughs to himself and turns on the shower. The boy called Night stares at himself in the square, chrome mirror. The bathroom looks like it belongs in a very luxurious prison. 

“We getting food before class?” Sugar calls from the shower. 

“Sure, whatever.” Night exits the bathroom into an expansive bedroom with two king-sized beds. The curtains are shut, so the only source of light is a single bulb radiating from the ceiling. Night grabs a pair of deep blue linen pants and a matching button-up shirt from one of the closets and gets dressed. 

This room is pretty clearly divided, one side being far more chaotic than the other. There are desks on either side: one desk is covered in clothes, dirty towels, food wrappers, and an empty fish tank. Oddly, it had never contained a fish. The other desk has only a desktop computer and tiny, struggling plant growing out of a mason jar. This is the desk Night sits down at. He powers on his computer. 

“Yo, you ready?” Sugar calls from inside the bathroom. 

Night groans, then shuts his computer off before it can boot up. “Yeah.” 

Night and Sugar head down a wide staircase that empties into an enormous hall, swimming with other young people wearing the same linen suits that they are. Not all are blue, some are red, a few are green (including Sugar’s), and only a couple of them are black. 

The hall is lined with various food vendors, there’s a range of cuisine--nearly any option imaginable. The counters are fast, so despite the crowd, there are no lines. Everyone pays by tapping their phones. 

“Kinda feeling like a sushi situation today, what d’you think?” Sugar asks, very obviously checking out two girls grabbing soy sauce from the counter. 

“Why are you looking at those girls?”

“Uh, why would I NOT be looking at them? The hell is wrong with you?”

Night says earnestly, “Oh, I get it now that you want to--”

“--ALRIGHT great.” Sugar shakes his head. “Dude, listen. I’m glad we’re roomin’ together. In fact I even like you a lil bit. Not in that way. You know what I mean. Anyway. I think you’re cool. But I also think you’re a damn freak.” 

Night tries not to laugh. “Is that all?”

“Yeah it is. Now let’s get some fuckin maki.” 

* * * 

Night is trying to stay awake in class, but he’s finding it impossible to care about this kid’s presentation on the code he wrote over the weekend. This class simply could not be more boring. Why can’t he be studying something useful? Another language? Or music? These computer skills are just not practical. No one needs them. 

But boredom is not the only reason Night can’t stay awake in class. It’s also because he doesn’t put forth much effort to sleep at night. Once the sun goes down, Night begins to read. Typically not books, but articles on the internet. Hours pass, he scours the web for information, and his pale eyes melt into the screen. 

“Night, wake up.” 

Night opens his eyes and takes a startled breath. He’s alone in the classroom with his teacher. An older woman, dressed in a smart but relaxed white linen suit. She looks disappointed, and slightly concerned.  

“What happened?” 

“You fell asleep. And then class ended. And you still didn’t move. So here we are.”

“I’m sorry. I was just so disinterested in what was going on. I couldn’t bring myself to pay attention, it was boredom that made me pass out.” Night says this very earnestly, unaware that it’s fairly insulting.

Teacher smiles and nods. She knows Night lives on another planet, and she expects things like this. He’s very bright, but also extremely strange. He seems to have a good heart, but it’s also hard to judge hearts since they’re invisible and not actually related to emotion. She keeps an eye on him.  

“I’m a bit worried about you, Night. I want you to graduate the year with enough knowledge to start building.” 

“Eh, well, you shouldn’t worry about me, Teacher. What we learned this week...I taught myself when I was ten.” 

Teacher laughs. He kinda laughs too. 

She asks, “Will you do something for me?”

“I don’t know.”

She takes a deep breath, thinking. 

“I want you to take your presentation very seriously. I want you to “wow” me. Show your classmates how brilliant you are. I know that you can.”

Night stares, thoughtfully. All his life, his actions have been motivated by an internal compass that he cannot understand or explain. He has always done what he wants, has always says what’s on his mind. Often he’s wrong, and sometimes controversial, but the people around him know him well enough to know that he doesn’t mean it. Most people, anyway. 

While people have allowed the tall, starry-eyed ghost boy to wander and act impulsively wherever he goes (because it’s easier not to question it), he still struggles with being abnormal. He wonders if the reason he can’t sleep at night is because nighttime is the only time that he can detach himself from the people around him. When he can be alone, and feel normal, and imagine different ways of living. 

What if he doesn’t want to build next year?

Maybe there’s a way for him to prove that he can contribute something else.

* * * 

It’s evening, the school day is over. 

Back at their room, Sugar tosses his backpack on top of the pile of junk on his desk. He flings himself onto his bed and immediately starts playing an obnoxiously loud game on his phone. Night is on his computer, writing. Sugar calls out, without moving. 

“Man, what are you doing? Homework? It’s Friday dude.” 

“I’m actually writing you a letter about how much I love you.”

Night’s signature deadpan is so dead that it’s undetectable to the naked eye. Sugar chortles and throws a pillow at Night’s head. He ducks. 

“Dear Sugar, I am deeply enchanted by what a crusty slob you are. Piles of garbage are hot. Call me.” 

“Yo you don’t even understand that I legit get that shit all the time. Those girls today were thinking it.” 

“Oh I don’t doubt it.” Night smirks, Sugar laughs. 

“You’re fuckin weird man.” 

Sugar flips over, texting. Night continues to scroll and type, endlessly. He checks the time again and again. Based on the pandemic...on everything that’s going on...he has calculated that it will happen tonight. He sends an email. He taps his fingers.

“Well I’ma go out. Diamond’s havin’ a party or somethin. You in?” 

Night doesn’t look away from the screen. “Nah, you go on ahead. Have fun.”

Sugar playfully caresses Night’s hair. “You want me to tell Diamond you said hello? I’m sure she...”

Night suddenly looks serious. “Please don’t.” Sugar laughs. 

“Chill dude. Peace.” He leaves.

And with perfect timing.

*ping*  

He receives a message. He takes a deep breath. 

So many late nights of reading, studying, preparing. This message is what he’s been waiting for. 

ADMIN_E: How am I supposed to find you if I don’t know who you are?

Night smiles to himself. Sometimes he can’t read people at all. Sometimes he can read them with incredible clarity. Right now, he can already tell that this girl won’t stop until she finds him.  

He chats with her, back and forth. ADMIN_E and GUEST55. 

*buzz* 

Night looks down at his phone, which doesn’t vibrate often... 

“Julian” 

Except when she gets “certain” texts. Shit. Not good timing.

GUEST55: don’t answer that. He can wait 

Emma ignores Julian. Good. Jesus, what does she see in that nightmare of a human? 

Oh no, wait, it seems like she’s getting scared. Night doesn’t want to scare her. That’s not part of the plan. 

ADMIN_E: ok now you’re starting to scare me. What the hell is going on? Are you watching me?

GUEST55: no, no...Emma, I promise i’ll explain everything. Just not yet 

Night truly doesn’t care what any single person thinks of him. He lives in his own world, where the judgments of others don’t exist. So why is it that suddenly, when it comes to a girl he’s never actually met, he’s starting to care? Is that what this is? Well, he just knows that he doesn’t want her to be afraid of him. 

But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself either... She has the map now. The rest will come. 

GUEST55: I’ll see you soon Emma.

 ADMIN_E: See you, um, well see you

Strangely, he wants her to know his name. Some piece of her. It’s not that he’s afraid of exposing himself…it’s that he won’t just have to explain his own name, but the names of so many others, and so much more...she’ll have to wait. 

He hesitates, looking around the dark room. His eyes land on the glass jar on his desk. Hm. The little plant does look so unnatural in this world.

GUEST55: my name is Mason. I want you to know that.

Mason. Well, it will have to work for now. 

Night signs out. He walks over to the window, completing his nightly ritual of dragging the tall curtains open.

And then the extraordinary moonlight floods the room like a searchlight beam.  

Outside his window, there is a city that looks nothing like any city we’ve ever seen in the natural world. Roads are raised, buildings are holographic, animated advertisements encircle all infrastructure. The moon is enormous, but there is not a single star. 

Night stares up at the dark sky, after which he was named. Maybe soon she’d be staring at the same one.

#writers #write #writer #writers on tumblr #pandemic #coronavirus #short fiction #shortstory #yanovel #yanovels #sciencefiction #scifi #scififantasy #gamergirl #hackergirl

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 39

She hadn't said much on the way to the hotel, she had cranked the radio right up which made talking almost impossible, she obviously needed some time to digest some of the things that had clearly shook her to the core. They nearly didn't make it to his bedroom, she had attacked him in the elevator, pushing him into a corner while her mouth devoured his, her hands nervously fidgeted with his pants. “I'm not gonna do this here with you in an elevator” he reluctantly pulled back as the elevator dinged its' arrival on their floor, “fine” she jumped on him and clamped her legs around his waist so he had to stumble his way to the room while she kept on attacking, licking and biting his mouth, his throat. So what if they had a bit of an audience before they practically fell into the room? He shut the door with his foot and pushed her up on the small table next to it, when he finally had the chance to answer her kisses and his hands started caressing and squeezing down her body, she put her arms around his neck and sighed in his ear “hold the foreplay, I just need to feel you inside of me, just fuck me here and now”. This woman was a dream, how vocal and physical could one be about desire and lust? Well, this vocal and this physical! Every second of every day she made the huge flame inside of him that she had put there, burn higher and higher, and it was getting out of control, it was simply consuming him, red alert danger that was what this was but he couldn't stay away, he refused to. These were the happiest moments of his life, these moments with this unguided missile..he was a moth to her flame and no matter how hard he flapped..he simply had no resistance against her. Expert hands yanked open his pants and in a split second he felt himself push against her warm core, anger fuck, oh god, delirious, and she wasn't even angry at him “aahhhh” she vibrated in his ear as his hips started bucking like mad, trying to get as deep as he could, which wasn't hard because she seemed to suck and lock him inside of her. Hallelujah, fuck, mind going completely blank, he needed to fuck, that was all, he was put on this earth for doing just this, this woman he was possessing right now was gonna be the death of him, but he would die a hundred deaths for her, a thousand if needed be. “Fuck me..deeper, yeah..ooohhh” she moaned as she let her head fall back against the wall and pulled up her legs on the table that was dangerously rocking under the furious fucking he was giving her. Oh, god yeah, there it finally was, the silk veil of submission, it covered the real Harper that was hurting, and revealed another woman that was stripped from emotions and that was solely there for her man's pleasure. ”Ahh” Harper yelped in pain as he yanked her head back with a hard pull on her hair, “what did you say?” he barked in her ear, just say it, please, he didn't want to take this too far, but he felt another, deeper level of submission with her for the first time, just say you're ready for more than just spanking. “Punish me..I deserve to be punished..Sir..please..” her entire body covered in goosebumps as his hand locked around her throat, yessss, exactly the words he needed to hear, this was gonna be an interesting night.

”Drink something, babe” he walked to the bed where she was rolled into a ball and handed her a glass of cola, “thanks” she sat up a bit and downed it in one go, while he sat down caressing her hair “you're a bit dehydrated, I was too rough..” he frowned. Her finger landed on his lips “no, you weren't..” before she put the empty glass on the bedside table and pulled him down with her “just hold me” she whispered, snuggling against him. “So..wanna tell me more about what happened with your parents tonight?” he held her tight, all night there had been a pattern, the extremely submissive behavior, the anger and frustration that had tensed up her body..he hated to put two and two together. “There isn't much to tell..I already told you she sent me away” she curled up a little bit more to him, there's no ugly world outside, it doesn't exist as long as I'm with you. “Yeah, but what did her body language say? Her eyes? You know, maybe she was in shock of seeing you again, maybe she's already beating herself up about what she did” he kissed her forehead “I just can't imagine a mother pushing her own flesh and blood back out on the street”. Harper pulled back and pushed herself up on her elbow “wait..are you saying I'm lying?” a storm brewing in her eyes, “what? No! No of course not! I'm just trying to put things in perspective, I'm trying to understand”. A dramatic roll of her eyes “you don't know my mother, you weren't there”, auwtch, touché, “No..no I wasn't there..not today anyway, but I want to be there for you when you go back..somehow I just want to meet them”. Meet them? Really? But why? Why would anyone want to meet those two..idiots? “when I go back? I don't even want to go back there at all, they're a couple of fuckin' idiots” she huffed, yes she was mad as hell but she was so cute at the same time. “They may be a couple of fuckin' idiots, but those idiots made the most beautiful woman of my dreams, you might know her, she's got this really long, thick beautiful dark hair, and dark pools for eyes, she makes every red blooded man's head turn, because her beauty is out of this world, she's feisty, and she's got the sharpest mind and mouth I've ever come across..anything that upsets her, upsets me..and I don't ever want to see her sad or upset” his hand caressed her cheek while their eyes locked. “I didn't know you met my sister” she stuck her tongue out at him, “better stick to painting because comedy is so not your thing” he shut her up with a kiss. “Anyway, you and I are going back there tomorrow morning, or we'll call them to invite them for breakfast here, whatever you or they want, but we're gonna do this together, ok?” he breathed, “but what if they don't want to come? Or he loses his temper again? I know how quickly things can escalate and I refuse to have a huge row with them in front of you” she shook her head. She was crawling into her shell again, he could feel it “who says this is gonna end in a row? You said your Dad is a diplomate, surely he won't start an argument in a fancy restaurant, and that's when we have to take the advantage to start up the conversation, babysteps, you know”. Bless your beautiful heart for being so optimistic..she didn't say anything, her big brown eyes glazed over with the darkest shade of sadness “but that's all for tomorrow, right now I just want to fall asleep with you” their bodies just locked like the pieces of a puzzle, always the perfect fit.

The next morning, she woke up to a Jared getting dressed, “what..time is it?” she mumbled through a yawn, “way too early for you” he pulled his hoodie down “so get back to sleep, I'm just going for a run” fresh out of bed she was still an absolute picture. “I'm coming with you” maybe it would chase the remains of the nightmare she just woke up from, away “no, you stay right here, go back to sleep and when I get back, we'll take a long, hot shower together, how does that sound?”. Harper savoured the goodmorning kiss, even without a shower he smelled divine, “scared that I'm a faster runner than you are?” she pouted, this wasn't cool, she wanted to be with him, she hated being alone when she was feeling vulnerable. “Scared? Me? No way! Listen, I'm gonna be late, and you can't keep a personal trainer waiting..I just don't like being on the receiving end of a punishment” he grinned and stole another kiss. “Hmmm, I can recommend them though” she almost purred like a cat thinking about last night's kinky-ness and it clearly affected him as well , “I'm gonna go now or I'll spontaneously combust” a last kiss and he was gone. Instant longing, damn, she was getting way too dependent on him..impossible to get back to sleep now, maybe I should call them?..naaah, no way, not ready, will I ever be again? Probably not..mama looked lovely though, time had been kind to her..or Botox was...she still wore the same perfume, a beautiful scent unable to cover up the stench of her rotten, evil heart..nope, she didn't want to see them..she'd talk to Jared and tell him, she just wasn't ready.//Ok, their number, he quickly scrolled through his contacts, ok got it..he cleared his throat as it rang, and rang..“pronto?”, his breath hitched for a second before he replied “Hi..goodmorning, my name is Jared Leto..”. Behind her the door opened and a heavy breathing and sweaty Jared came stomping in “oh..you've showered” he looked all dissapointed, “yeah well, I couldn't get back to sleep” she shrugged as he came walking up to her but quickly dodged his mouth “uhhh, you're all sweaty, go shower..”. He watched her grab her purse “uhm, where are you going?” no way, she couldn't go, not now, “to get myself a newspaper, I'm feeling a little oldskool I guesss, I just want to read something in italian, I'll be right back”.  Just as she wanted to turn and leave, his hand locked around her arm “oh no you don't! If you want to read in italian, I'll have a newspaper brought up to the room, in the meantime you and I are gonna go completely oldskool in the shower” he grinned as he pulled her against him, giggling about her heavy disgusted protest as he threw her over his shoulder and carried her into the bathroom.

Their heavy lovemaking seemed to steam up the bathroom even more than the hot water of the shower they were doing it under, there was a loud cry of extacy before all the heavy breathing slowed down and the rocking, pumping motion of hips stilled. “I'm getting addicted to you, and that scares me” she whispered in his ear, don't let go of me, just hold me up, my back against hot, wet tiles, my legs wrapped around your waist while you're still in me, hold me like this forever. “I feel the same way, and trust me, it scares me even more” he licked the drops that rolled down her cheek with the tip of his tongue, a silence fell, there was no need to say anything else, their bodies had just said it all. Getting a bit uncomfortable with the intensity of her own feelings, it was her stomach that broke their bodily closeness, “you're clearly hungry” he grinned a sad grin, damn he would have to let her go and break the magic. “Duh! That's what a couple of sex marathons over the timespan of a couple hours do to a girl” she groaned as he slipped out of her and slowly let her slide down to her feet again. “Breakfast it is” he quickly wrapped her up in a towel, the reaction he was fearing didn't come, maybe that was a good sign, right?, “yay food, foodfoodfood yumyumyum” she tiptoed out of the bathroom, rubbing her hands in anticipation. Leather pants half tucked into a pair of combat boots, a fishnet top that had no intention whatsoever of even trying to cover up the black lace bra underneath, her outfit for the day sure was earning her a lot of admiring looks from men and a lot of dissaproving ones from their girlfriends and wives. And she didn't even notice, she only had eyes for him, holding his hand as he paraded her down the lobby of the hotel, “I thought we were gonna go and get breakfast” she looked at him with a frown when she headed for the exit but he turned left “we are” and instead walked her to the diningroom of the hotel “forgot to call and make reservations, guess I was too busy doing something else”. Oh right..she had completely forgotten about his plans..all the better he hadn't called, this was gonna be just them, niiiceeeee, just me and Mr. Leto..Sir Leto..after last night and this morning oooh yes definitely Sir Leto. Grinning from ear to ear with her inner conversation, she walked into the luscious yet elegant dining room where a waiter walked them to their table but stopped dead in her tracks when his hand let go of hers. “Mr. De Robiano D'Arcy?” he walked up to her Dad and shook his hand “I'm Jared, Jared Leto, it's good to finally meet you, sir”.

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