#not my best set ngl

[tzurim]

JINYOUNG POISON

#got7 #jinyoung #park jinyoung #got7edit #got7daily #thegot7network #malegroupsnet #malegroupsedit #userjoanna #useroro #userzaynab #userines #all* #gifs* #bg* #HEARD THE MAN IS SERVING!!! #not my best set ngl

[jyou-no-sonoko19]

(self-)defence mechanism

#Michelle Gomez #Doom Patrol #Doom Patrol spoilers #Laura De Mille #Madame Rouge #Ngl the cattish grin made my skin try to turn inside out and/or remove itself entirely #And the crow's feet??? I want her to tear my face off #no I won't even censor that #But also she's doing her best and Eyebrows!Laura could have `approached this so much more effectively #If she'd only chilled with the accusations of immorality #and taken one moment to meet her then-self where she was at #like... she knew what 40s!Laura was going through. #It wasn't that long ago for her at all #I'm just imagining going back in time to myself a decade ago #and yelling at her for all the stuff she hadn't figured out about herself and life yet #just like... the cruelty of it achieves nothing #except a whole new kind of self-loathing #See more in the following set of this convo

[mumblesplash]

your commitment to not only the rhyme, but the meter of your poems is so, so satisfying - I often see people neglect meter in stuff like song parodies or poems-as-fanart (which is fine! art doesn't have to be perfect!). but realizing that the first line of the secret life comic poem wasn't "for the record…" and instead incorporated /all/ the text (starting with the logo!! genius!!) and made the meter work exactly right in the first page was incredible.

I've been reading it out loud to myself now for days - you deserve the notes, the recognition, and the praise :)

i see what you did there with that final turn of phrase 👀

hahahaha tysm!!!! it’s something i’ve always been sort of picky about—english has these natural patterns of emphasis both within multisyllabic words *and* spanning entire phrases, the latter being a bit more flexible but still very much possible to make ‘sound wrong’, which makes sticking to a rhythm (especially throughout an entire back-and-forth conversation) pretty challenging and VERY fun to try and figure out.

(actually, in my experience song parodies are significantly *easier* to write (the words are anyway, music is Not one of my strong points) because following a tune takes a lot of the pressure off in terms of the overarching emphasis patterns)

but yeah this lil style experiment has been super interesting! v grateful to you and the other handful of people who both a) got the gimmick and b) went out of their way to mention it, i know it doesn’t usually occur to people to point out things they think are obvious, so i Mostly get feedback from people who *don’t* see the rhyme scheme

honestly i was concerned i’d messed it up for a while, bc after i posted the first part people kept saying it didn’t rhyme???? i thought i was going insane i was so confused lmao

#splashasks #anonymous #ngl i’m still not entirely sure where the disconnect is #my best guesses so far are 1) the rhyme scheme switch + the first line being hidden in the setting threw people off too much #2) some people just straight up don’t read words ‘out loud’ in their heads the way i do #so the only stress patterns they notice are the ones in individual words #3) people didn’t realize grian’s dialogue was also part of the rhyme scheme

[waitingforsecretsouls]

Catching up on Tower of God, and all these theories about how obviously Zahard is the one who did something to Traumerei’s memories and that’s the only reason he could possibly be loyal to him, and as soon as Bam or Gustang or whatever gives him back his memories he’s immediately gonna turn on Zahard are reeeaally weird to me, and diminishing to both Zahard and Traumerei as characters. 

Everything we’be been shown about Traumerei so far paints him as a huge cunt, by choice, who gets off on the suffering of others (which is why he’s a favourite, of course <3 ). When he’s not napping or dead inside he’s short-tempered, capricious and cruel.  A feature not a bug, if you will. While it’s true that we haven’t been shown the origin of his memory-and-emotion-discarding habit we have been shown occasions where he proactively chooses that course of action by himself-in the Yasratcha flashback, where he returned from the Nest to feed some more to Leviathan before dealing with Nen Nen and Wang Wang, and sometime after the incident, if you go by his distorted recollection of the event to Yasratcha. We know from Leviathan that Traumerei is the one who created him and kept feeding ‘filthy’ memories and emotions to him, in quite the amount from what it sounds like. These memories, going by what we know so far, would contain Traumerei at his worst, such as his punishment of Wang Wang, Nen Nen and Yasratcha for example, and likely be coloured by resentment and hatred rather than regret and sorrow (something soldified by Leviathans demeanour, imo) (meaning the current Traumerei is the ‘sanitized’ version).

That aside, how exactly would Zahard have found a way to force Traumerei to cut unwanted memories and emotions out of himself in a way that seems distinctly Traumerei (involving the creation of a Shinheu)? This is not the Hidden Floor, where they were simple data to manipulate and erase (without ill effects to their real/outside selves)! Why would Traumerei have kept up that coping mechanism over the millenia, if it was something forced upon him by Zahard? Why exactly would Zahard himself inquire after Traumerei’s memories, if a key piece of Traumerei’s loyalty to him was their erasure? Zahard himself is the one who brings them up in the first place! What seems like a realtively recent problem to boot, and in a way that seems more eager that he remember and out of worry for an old friend and comrade (’By the way, what kind of nightmares have you been having lately? Do you still not remember?’), (at the end of their strategy meeting, after the ‘business talk’ is already finished) than as some sort of insidious check-up to make sure that he doesn’t remember something from tens of thousands of years ago. It honestly feels like people projecting their dislike of Zahard onto Traumerei, when everything we’ve ever heard about him and are ever shown about him shows him as an ‘enthusiastic’ follower of Zahard and having an absolutely insane treshold of what counts as genuine loyalty. Heck, going by everything about him, it’s more likely that even if he had harboured resentment against Zahard, he would erase it himself to uphold the standard of loyalty he preaches!

In fact, I’d go so far as to say, in view of the Yasratcha flashback and obvious mirroring between him and Traumerei, that it’s far likelier that Traumerei came up with some weird revenge scheme as punishment for ‘abandoning’ him rather than simply being yoinked along by Zahard in something, and that, if he erased his memories because he found them unpleasant to deal with, it was not due to guilt or sorrow but anger and resentment (as we eg. see him exhibit in the flashback upon returning from a trip to the Nest, where he clearly has some leftover frustration).

A lot of fanon seems to view Traumerei as former emotionally softie of the group, who was a poor little meow-meow before he experienced a deep betrayal that emotionally hardened him. While I’m ready to concurr with the latter (and the general fact that the Great Warriors devolved into worse personalities with time) I’d like to point to the examples of what Traumerei perceives as ’betrayals’ in the story, and whether they seem reasonable and justified to feel betrayed by in the first place, or deserving of ‘punishment’, and then reflect upon the likelihood of Traumereis formative betrayal (assuming there is one, definitive one, or that it even involves the Great Warriors) being a cut and dry affair.

As for painting Zahard as the instigator of his unpleasant personality, it reflects an unwillingness to let people other than him be fucked up even though we already know plenty of other family leaders who are, as well as lack of consideration that Zahard might care about some people, like his oldest comrades, and they care about him in turn. Zahard confiding in Traumerei with regards to his views and plans in the first place, Traumerei going above and beyond his assignment to try to turn Bam against Gustang if he proves useful, for example. ‘But the order concering the Poe Bideau family!’- Gustang is the one who stirs the pot in the first place, the one who stole an item whose sole purpose is to defeat Zahard, the one who basically declared if not war certainly conflict, and let it be known that it’s not like Zahard put out a hit on Gustang (which would arguable be pointless, but we do know people as powerful as Eurasia Enne Zahard are capable of getting imprisoned) but merely his family, Gustang’s major instrument for affecting the politics of the Tower.

As of now it seems far more plausible to me for whatever leftover memories that are haunting Traumerei as nightmares to be something done by him instead of to him.

I think that it’s been set up that Traumerei is gonna remember something at the least, and likely something big (maybe eventually prodded by Bam, whom Leviathan told of at least some memories fed to him), but when he does it’s not gonna lead to a sudden heel-turn and alliance, problem solved, but instead a Traumerei actually out for blood, instead of bored and dead inside (anyone remember Bam’s refusal to let Leviathan go free bc ‘if I let it out [...] I’d be committing a sin against the world’ (TOG #531)? That Shinheu formed out of all of Traumerei’s most negative memories and emotions he discarded? That would presumably bubble back up inside Traumerei himself when he remembers?)

To close with a Maschenny quote that summarizes my hopes for Traumerei:

“Has it really disappeared now? That rage of yours? [...] Even if you say that rage has hardened and sunk in your mind, I don’t understand how it could just fly away in the wind like that. It gets more intense and clings to you even more firmly as time passes and you recall those memories. That’s the kind of emotion that rage is. And as long as that rage lives-war can break out at any time.”

-Khun Maschenny Zahard, Tower of God #390

#Tower of God #Lo Po Bia Traumerei #my pet theory that I know is highly unlikely to be canon is that -assuming there was a formative betrayal and it involved the Great Warrior #is that Traumerei was the one who instigated some sort of messed up retaliation or whatever in some form #(forced V to kill himself?) #if we take leviathans demeanour as a genuine representation of Traumerei emotions (excepting eg the resentment of serving as smg to dump hi #negative emotions into) #there is some resentment against Zahard (unless the king he's talking about is Traumerei as his creator) #so what if...the person Traumerei felt betrayed by was Zahard? Maybe for proposing to Arlene even after their huge disagreement..? #So he did something to mess things up even further so V and Arlene really 'betrayed' Zahard (trying to steal the key..?) #(mirroring how Yasratcha framed Wang Wang as a traitor to Traumerei) #(so he'd have no choice but to disregard him either way and come with Yasratcha) #(which I realize is not an exact copy but slightly inverted in the scenario I'm proposing) #boom #Zahard feels betrayed by them for real and retaliates and no more talk of reconciliation #yes Traum talks about dominating those who betray him into forcefully staying by his side but consider: #his 'domination' is literally manipulation? #Emotionally as we see with Wang Wang and Nen Nen even if he seemingly had no set goal #manipulating others be it by controlling their bodies eg Yasratcha or their choices and actions #ngl part of me just wants him to be the toxic gay best friend à la Yasratcha sooo bad #if you want wholesome stuff there's Bam and Khun and whatnot the Great Warriors are for toxicity ONLY #also do not care about leviathan as Bams xth absorbed power show me those memories or perish!

[aroaceofthesea]

Hate it bc we used to have such a fun friend group and everything was great but then ppl started fighting with each other so now there's a lot of tension between some ppl and it makes me kinda sad to think about how it could have been if this all hadnt happened

#and half of them i dont even know what happened bc ''i hate him but i dont like talking shit about ppl'' #or ''uh it was nothing he was just an asshole'' #and then theres the ones who dated for a while and then broke up and then she fucked with his best friend (also in the group) #and idk it all seems centered around that guy and his best friend tbh #the other day a few of us met and that guy and his best friend were close so we went to say hi #and they all hated him and/or were hated by him like howw #also apparently he wanted to hook up with a girl's gf (though i have my doubts about how literal this was) #(bc that girl is the first guy's best friend so she 100% knows what happened and she was deff biased by then) #idk man it sucks when ppl are mad at each other and no one will say why but you still like everyone there #idk this winter we were able to meet up without setting off an atomic bomb so thats. awin i guess #and tbh im glad i can stay out of the drama ngl if they made me pick sides i would go crazy #mine #life #friends

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

One of the worst forms of pain is fixating on media with absolutely zero fandom

#I’m in pain rn ngl #I’m really just alone in my little corner #yes this is abt the musical that my last post was abt #it has no fandom when it SO SHOULD #and that’s not just me saying that cause I think it’s cool #the music is great. the characters are all so interesting. AND it has some of the best representation I’ve seen in a show set in the 1950s #could it probably be better? sure #BUT how can you complain about canon acknowledgement and acceptance of gender exploration/fluidity(? I’m pretty damn sure)?? #especially when it’s done like it is in this show #agh. #listen to All Shook Up gang #it’s so good and no one knows it

[buglaur]

so no macmahons? *breaks skateboard*

you're so sweet awe 🥺 soon anon dw!! not tomorrow, but it'll return saturday 😌 here's some completely unedited screenshots for posts i need to edit in the meantime to satiate your need

look at the lil guy omgggmg

#it's felt like a never-ending week ngl but i'm good #i got some exam results back today #they were.. okay #not the best but still okay #and i've got another exam tomorrow but that should be the last of them for a while!! #and someone i know complimented my cicada earrings so that was really nice #if i can make it through tomorrow then i'm gonna treat myself saturday #there was this realllyyyy cute old man sweater i saw that i wanna buy #if its still there i'm gonna get it #also i went to an impromptu rap concert at 9am this morning which was an odd experience #a rapper came down from dublin to do a performance in my school #he brought his whole sound system dj set-up with him #he was pretty good too #its just a really weird experience when you think you're heading into an economics seminar #and you get called out to the canteen to watch a guy rap on the tables instead #anyways that was a whole lot of rambling sorry #ask

[javaaddiction]

I was complimented once on my storytelling and now I'm crying send help

#dnd #plot rp #ttrpg memes #dm stuff #dm struggles #/lh #/hj #i read it and had to set my computer down to process that I was being complimented im not kidding #this may be me overreacting because I like the person and they're one of my best friends and I'm only Slightly attention starved but #They Said They Liked My Storytelling!!!!!!!!! holy shit i won Dnd guys!!!!!!!!!! #context I'm doing a home brew setting and home brew plot (sea beast vibes ngl) #and I'm working with the person I was speaking with to make a doppleganger plotline thingy while their real character; #is being persuaded to release the Betrayer Gods by some loony (lunar) bitch (ex cult leader) #:D #im genuinely having so much fun I lowkey wanna write a small series of comics on this parties adventures once we're done #WAIT WAIT OR OR OR I COULD !!?? #MAKE A CONCEPT ALBUM!!?? #i might make a concept album ngl

[nerice]

Hello hello on this fine day I want to ask what the seed in the seed arc stand for? A literal botanical seed? A seed more in a metaphorical way? A third more sinister thing?

lore ask anon i love u like the sun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! here are terrible answers bc it is for the most part the last option with a little of the former two mixed in !

for context the term usually turns up in the following situations > - seed arc (post lhnh travel arc for sky(+jack)) - seed kids (blood-related children of soulless. put a pin in this) - seed mode (their inevitable end) all of these are meta terms and not used in canon bc [seed] terminology goes back to outdated lore (pre-2015 moon system overhaul) where soulless immortality worked via "influence rules" essentially them being untethered from time meant the exact opposite where they'd fade away unless they anchored themselves into existence by influencing it. & it just so happened that everyone's least favourite oc of mine (hot minute since i last posted so yeah this is abt gray. yes we are skirting rabbit territory here. knife emoji locked and loaded) anwy his chosen method of influence accumulation was via "seeds of immortality" aka. lab-grow some landmine children and yeet them thru time portals so when they cause calamity all up and down reality it quadrubillions ur power.

now forget everything i just said bc this was pre black swan era where gray was a much more one-note machiavellian villain type guy. impossible that he used to be even more boring than he is now <3

anwy that's where the basic wording comes from, and in broad strokes it's still the same concept but the particulars have changed !! without getting into stupid soul birth rules the tldr is. after he accidentally gets stuck with a daughter, hold for [🐇], gray realizes that for the time he is linked to a mortal btwn incubation nd blossoming of a soul, it acts as a fairly reliable pain relief. nowhere near the levels of linnea's cold touch cure, but after losing her he has to make do, bandaid on a bullet wound etc. so he whores around a bunch and gets stuck with children he has no use for (hold for. 🐇) and disposes of them via time portal. the funniest thing is that he has no idea what happens to soulless halfbreeds after this.

what happens to soulless halfbreeds is this: any child of a mortal and a soulless will inevitably die when their moon blood eats thru their soul. for 99.9% of seed kids this happens around the time they come of age (20 yrs) with the one notable exception ofc being sky bc her birth mother was a descendant & having some of reina's spark in her translates to the bastard strength i am insane abt for the rest of my life, slightly more resistance to soulless blood (despite all the. 💉🐇🩹 yknow) so her total time wld have been at least a century, if not centuries, if she had not burned thru most of her soul to keep leah alive to see dream game. :) [i am exited from this line of thought]

INCOHERENT SORRY. wheres the road where's the point. this is a vry freeform answer my apologies OTL

it's not a botanical seed but it is very much a family lineage seed. soulless lineage, to the detriment of all involved. the main, named oc corners it touches are [ofc sky 💚] and also nashua in white crown. half-siblings the two of them, though never meet :3c & then there is ofc, seed arc; the terrible, terrible interlude. the decades after lhnh wherein sky grows into her own as she travels the world, and inevitably runs into children & young adults who carry a hint of night traces. who sometimes look a little too familiar. who are afflicted with an obstinate patch of bruises somewhere on their body, a condition she knows all too well. & who, without fail, die in agony the moment they reach adulthood. bc here is the last terrible detail,

seed kids don't simply die. they turn soulless for a short period of time when the invisible moon floods their body. congrats you have won a moon worth of pain !!!!! unspeakable agony in every nerve and cell !!! not quite soulless enough to bear it, but not quite mortal enough to die a quick death from it. some seed kids bloom into light illusion powers, some even unlock a little temporal distortion, but none of them are in a mental state where they can harness those abilities for anything more than extreme local destruction of everything and everyone around them before they burn out. so before long seed arc becomes about sky putting her unfortunate half-siblings out of their misery before they can hurt their own loved ones. killing children goes over so well for her psyche too <33

& ofc ofc. thanks to all of this. even way past adulthood as she is, sky knows she'll end up like all the others sooner or later. and given her unholy strength stat, she will cause [kyubei voice] unprecedented amounts of suffering. damage beyond belief with nobody short of a true ruler able to kill her. considering her overall resilience so far she might not even burn out naturally but continue to wreak havoc, turn into mindless killing machine. some might even call that modus 殺戮人形 >:)

#MY BEST KEPT SECRET NGL IS. murder doll obsession is a fucking two way street. an entire damn highway #it's fun on the extended gr*y parallels angle (outfit <3 violence <333) nd ofc. [gestures at recent sets] all that #but the mechanics of 殺戮人形 are seed mode sky in all her terrible glory and i have not had a calm moment abt it #ANWY SORRY THIS IS A MESS REPLY i am out of practice but the good news is my wrist was fine typing all of this!!!!!!!! #two more weeks of japan and im so back babeyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! #askbox #anonbox #oc asks #loreposting #< new tag bc these asks are too good to lose. sb remind me to go thru and tag older ones in december when im home

[shopcat]

as much as i enjoy conceptually the whole Everyone finds out how zuko got his scar tropey thing bc i agree it's a strange little knowledge gap for them to have to be happily exploited for like, patting him on the head, but i also feel like it's just like. well OBVIOUSLY it's an excuse to throw some love at him which is good and i like it but when people use it as a way to like ... have people tell him it was Wrong and Bad well that's just stupid. the literal entire point of his confrontation with ozai during the eclipse is zuko TELLING his father that himself and then leaving to follow his own path. it's one of his biggest moments as a character and IS his most defining moment of deciding to take a stand against his father. like he knows it was bad he came to that conclusion himself he literally even said it was cruel!!! "how could you possibly justify duelling a child. it was cruel and it was wrong"!!!! he doesn't need people telling him Child Abuse Is Bad Zuko like. he knows. it's kind of part of his whole arc.

#🐾 #it's honestly crazy how people can see a character who spent honestly the vast majority of all 3 seasons coming to terms with EVERYTHING #about his place in the war about his family about his father about who he is as a person and what he needs to do #overcoming the indoctrination. letting go of the need for his fathers Approval. and realising he was wrong BY HIMSELF!! #when he says as well that he had to come to the conclusion ON HIS OWN!! .. WHEN he was banished #and then just be like. we need to tell him #like Oh my god.. he knows ... #the thing about that trope that makes it interesting is how he got his scar is a significant and also defining part of who he is #via the snowballing results. and his friends who he had been you know hunting not knowing that huge part of him is like DUDE #but i honestly kind of like it as well like i dunno that's why it's so interesting #people literlalt lvoe zuko bc of his you know. entire character. it's not just because he's sometimes funny or silly #and you're meant to love his character and his ''redemption arc'' wasn't a true redemption arc or maybe it's just the best one on earth #well it probably is ngl. bc from the very beginning you're meant to be rooting for him #he's set up almost immediately against zhao. he's countered with his sympathetic kindly uncle #we learn and it is INTEGRAL!!! that we learn that he got hurt when he spoke out specifically on the behalf of innocent people #in an act that was ultimately futile bc they were torn up in the war machine. #like i don't know believe me zuko knows Why the war is bad and Why his dad is bad specifically that's the whole damn point #walks away kicking a can #child abuse mention

[thebewilderer]

back on my gravity falls bullshit and im seeing a LOT of issues in the fandom

namely: people using "isosceles" as a synonym for "triangle"

BILL IS VERY CLEARLY AN EQUILATERAL TRIANGLE.

and dont give me that "equilateral triangles are also isosceles by definition actually :)" bullshit because thats like seeing a square and going "wow lookit that rectangle" or "what a nice parallelogram" like yes technically you are correct but also everyone around you is looking at you like youre a fuckin idiot because there is a much better word that would severely increase the accuracy of your statement and its such an incredibly common word so you definitely know it and heaven only knows why youre refusing to use it

#gravity falls #*sees a pair of dice* ''what a lovely set of parallelpiped :)'' #*sees an equilateral triangle* ''ah yes my favorite of the Three Sided Shapes That Identically Tile The Plane Through With 180° Rotation'' #*sees a D12* ''i love to see my favorite platonic solid: the dodecahedron out in the wild'' #ok actually that last ones valid ngl #the dodecahedron IS the best platonic solid and it deserves to be known as more than just a D12 #the number of times ive been talking to someone about my project (and thus the platonic solids and thus my favorite plaronic solid) #and described the dodecahedron as ''like how a cube has six square faces the dodecahedron has 12 pentagon faces!'' #and seen the total lack of understanding on their face #and had to sigh and go ''... you know... the D12 from dnd...'' #to which they respond ''oh yeah the D12 i know that'' #its so sad #i wish i could make people know the platonic solids by their actual names and not the dice names #wow i got off track holy shit #doubt anyones read this far tbh #im just rambling bc my powers out and thus i cant work on my thesis so im killing time #viva la dodecahedron! #ih #fndm

[reginrokkr]

Apologies for the lack of activity this weekend too after an entire week of not being productive IC. I had to recover hours of sleep and besides that I felt like I needed a bit of a break to rest, which did wonders to me. Just four days more to go and I'll be on Christmas break which is of two weeks, enough to get back in full swing!

#◟༺✦༻◞ What lays behind the mantle of faux stars ┊OOC.┊ #I want to write but I can't promise anything #as I have to revise for tomorrow's exam #and on Tuesday I have an exposition to do of first aid #so I'll... have to revise for that too #big sigh #if I weren't this self-demanding with my grades #I could take it more easily #but I care about my grades and since I set some standards #since the very beginning #I want to keep it up until the very end #for my own pride and satisfaction specially #I'm sure that teachers are talking about me in a good light #because I heard something on Friday that ngl made me really happy #to hear from one of them that I'm her best student #at any rate I'll still be available on DMs and Discord #the latter I don't hand it that lightly but it's also lowkey available #hope you peeps have a good weekend ♥︎

[invinciblerodent]

i think some weird, horny spirit just possessed me, and wrote like just around 1.3k words of soft, cloying sweet smut with my hand. I even teared up the tiniest bit at the end, i'm so weirdly overcome.

this is simultaneously not good, and the absolute best

#squirrel plays bg3 #and well #squirrel writes #like i seem to have blinked and two hours have passed #but listen.... pushing the bed in the Elfsong under the largest window #lazy gentle lovemaking under the golden rays of the setting sun #fully aware that the number of sunlit days are painfully limited? but making the most of it? finally basking in a love mutual and fulfilled #that's some good shit #i'm honestly having so much more fun just writing for myself #than i did writing anything i indended to upload places #if i don't want to write a transition i don't #if i want to just trail off and lead in the next sentence with an arrow i do that #and with that freedom? i genuinely think i'm doing some of my best writing ngl even though any editor would knock me over the head with it #this is GREAT practice

[scarletiswailing347]

you can really tell i mellowed out about zam cause i draw him about as much as i do my other blorbos now aka never lol jk

#mine.txt #personal cw #not really a vent just me musing about my brain #i should really train myself to draw according to when *i* want rather than according to when my mental illness wants #cause like as much fun as it is it also has detrimental effects #like for example my more detailed drawings can sometimes take all night and id refuse to sleep until i finish it #cause i feel the overwhelming need to get it done #even tho i dont Want to get it done cause i want to go to sleep #also should be on tumblr less cause ngl it takes up way too much of my time #i like reading (non narrative) words and tumblr has a lot of them #honestly im never gonna solve these two specific problems until i manage to get to the root of them #aka my hatred of sleep and my want to see other ppls experiences respectively #both of which stem from my emotional negligence resulting in a weird existential kind of fomo #but til then i need to set up some temporary solutions cause this is Not sustainable #like i literally wrote this at 1 am even though ive been so sleepy for like 3 hours now #i think the best solution rn is to take up exercise that way id have no choice But to have a proper sleep schedule cause exhaustion #but i Refuse to do that when im around other ppl and unfortunately i have roommates #so gotta find something else

[todayisafridaynight]

I was wondering if youre still planning on finishing y0 on streams before gaiden comes out?

OF COURSE: we still got a week and then some brother we got time !!!!!!

#snap chats #i might forgo drawing saturday to play Y0 ngl i havent really been in the best of drawing moods as of late #thats subject to change it IS only wednesday HOWEVER im prob gon stream Y0 tomorrow #not today since im watchin the fnaf movie with my cringe ass friend but tomorrow i shouldnt be doin anythin 😩 #OH BUT FUN NEWS SPEAKING OF: i bought a flash drive today :) #so im def set on lad8 vids- maybe possibly gaiden vid/s too #so thats fun.... hopefully... hopefully nothing goes wrong LMAO

[notjanine]

i’ll stop talking about this mf eventually but like okay. i hate being taken care of. 99% of the time, i HATE being taken care of. but i am also not naturally skilled at social stuff, like i’ve learned and i can do it and i’m good at it now, but—iiiii hate to admit it—but i’ve always wanted to be with someone who can like. take the driver’s seat, socially. and Bookstore just knows exactly how to shine the spotlight on me in a group setting. sometimes i get so overwhelmed taking everything in that i forget to talk even when i have relevant things to add! but they know just when to say Oh al said/did/made me watch/read/listen to xyz, and then give me the space to elaborate. or they’ll be more subtle and say like [Nearby person who likes something i like], have you seen/do you know about [specific thing they know i love] and it’s. gosh it’s really nice. also they are very big and warm. gosh

#ngl this was a pretty significant part of why it didn’t work with my ex and why i’d be hesitant to go aut4aut again #like i was just so much more socially competent than him i knew i would have to take the lead in most social settings and #the idea of that was just so exhausting #so to stumble into this… #also i think i mentioned before that Bookstore is like WEIRDLY… autism friendly?? #we like them. they have a lot of us in their life in big and small ways #their best friend is one of us and apparently they told him that i’m autistic and he was just like Yeah that tracks for you. #and this started as a blind date!! wild. WILD. this shit weird. but good #very good #ANYWAY i didn’t die at the outdoor bar and i did have a very good time #but also this was the second time in a row i’ve gone to a social gathering where someone i met for the first time already knew who i was! #and it wasn’t even one of Bookstore’s friends this time! aah! 😰