#not sure whether the two-dimensional nature of every other character was accidental or if it was meant to show

[movie-magic]

Loki: Every MCU Easter Egg In Episode 1

Loki has officially begun on Disney+, and Tom Hiddleston comes bearing plenty of Marvel Easter eggs in the premiere episode. Here's what we found.

The premiere episode of Loki is burdened with glorious Marvel Easter eggs, from potential future villain teases to skulking Skrulls. Even before the considerable success enjoyed by WandaVision and Falcon & The Winter Soldier, MCU fans were eagerly anticipating Tom Hiddleston's return as the God of Mischief. Now blessed with his own Disney+ solo series, Loki has all of time and space to bother, and the premiere wastes little time throwing Hiddleston from the Avengers' frying pan into the TVA's fire.

After using the Tesseract to escape The Avengers in Avengers: Endgame, Loki is swiftly picked up by the Time Variance Authority - a seemingly omniscient organization overseeing the entirety of time and space. Evidently not ones to take prisoners, Loki's fate at the TVA looks grim, but Owen Wilson's Major Mobius intervenes, handing the silver-tongued variant a reprieve. In the opening episode, Mobius successfully digs to the root of Loki's dastardly ways, breaking him down to (presumably) build him back up, all with the aim of enlisting Loki's services as an ally to hunt down an especially vicious variant murdering the TVA's Minute Men.

Loki's premiere is predictably heavy with exposition, and relatively limited in scope, mostly taking place within the walls of TVA HQ. Nevertheless, Michael Waldron (creator) and Kate Herron (director) pepper the 50-minute installment with an array of references to the Marvel comics, MCU history callbacks, and hints of the multiverse madness to come. Here's every Easter egg we discovered in Loki's "Glorious Purpose."

The Avengers Intro Sequence:

Loki's introductory scene is somewhat of an Easter egg itself, retelling the famous Tesseract heist from Avengers: Endgame. Much of the footage here derives straight from the 2019 box office behemoth, meaning no other MCU stars filmed additional footage or recorded new dialogue especially for Loki. With that said, a few extra Tom Hiddleston moments are spliced into the existing footage to show events entirely from Loki's point of view. The villain's Steve Rogers "search and rescue" gag is zoomed-in, and there's a closer shot of Loki waving goodbye to Hulk in the elevator, as well as fresh reaction shots during the Stark scuffle in the lobby.

An Iron Man Callback:

After commandeering the Tesseract in New York, Loki finds himself falling from the sky above Mongolia's Gobi Desert, landing unceremoniously in the sand below, and this scene might trigger a sense of déjà vu for longtime MCU fans. In 2008's Iron Man, Tony Stark escapes capture by creating a rudimentary suit of hi-tech armor. Flying to safety, the genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist also lands roughly in a remote desert. There's a symbolic correlation in how Iron Man marked the beginning of the MCU, while Loki is now ushering in a whole new chapter, and both begin with their protagonists in matching predicaments. Both characters also crash while evading incarceration, though only Loki immediately finds himself in chains once again.

"Burdened With Glorious Purpose":

As a man who rarely shuts up, Loki has plenty of wry MCU catchphrases, and one of his most famous would be "I am burdened with glorious purpose" from The Avengers. Disney +'s Loki premiere leans heavily into the line's popularity, with Tom Hiddleston repeating the quote on several occasions throughout the episode, the phrase becoming less sinister with every utterance.

The TVA:

The addition of the TVA to MCU canon was confirmed ahead of time via Loki's trailer and, sure enough, the paradoxical pen-pushers play a prominent part in the premiere. Although their motivations and methods are somewhat altered from the source material (as well as their aesthetic, which now sits closer to The Umbrella Academy's Commission), the TVA hails directly from the Marvel comic books. They were introduced by a 1986 issue of Thor that featured several time-hopping agents, one of which picked a random Earthling up for jaywalking.

A Skrull At The TVA:

Given their propensity to shape-shift and assimilate the forms of other races, it's not surprising that a Skrull might be lurking around the TVA's front desk. One of the MCU's green aliens can be spotted in the background as Loki gets marched in, and though it's not clear why the Skrull is present, the distinct lack of guards would suggest they aren't a variant. A timely reminder that Secret Invasion is right around the corner.

The Time Twisters:

As you'd predict, Loki tries running away. With minimum effort, Hunter B-15 (played by Wunmi Mosaku) clicks a device, and Loki is pulled back to where he stood moments earlier, effectively making escape impossible. These time twisters appear to be standard issue at the TVA, and have a vaguely similar counterpart in the Marvel comics called the Retroactive Cannon. Far more lethal than Loki's little clickers, these devices would rewind a person completely until they were unwritten from history. Like The Algorithm in Tenet, but less confusing.

Life Model Decoys:

For someone who spent many, many years unaware he was actually a Frost Giant, Loki probably shouldn't be shocked that some people don't realize they're secretly robots. Heading through the TVA's airport scanner, Loki passes the test with flying colors, though he remains perplexed by the idea someone could be unknowingly cybernetic, Loki's line is a nod to Life Model Decoys, which have appeared in both the Marvel comics, and Agents of SHIELD. These lifelike androids can mimic mankind so perfectly, the LMD itself isn't always certain of the truth.

Secret Wars?:

Whether you've accidentally arrived late for work, or just escaped a group of costumed vigilantes by seizing a glowing blue cube from the beginning of time, being labeled as a variant is confusing stuff. Luckily, the TVA has put together a short animation to fill quantum criminals in on the basics. The helpful Miss Minutes finally provides an explanation of the MCU multiverse, revealing how, long ago, separate timelines fought an inter-dimensional war for supremacy that almost resulted in total annihilation. Since then, the TVA has strictly maintained one single reality - the Sacred Timeline *echoes*. The history lesson bears some similarity to 2015's Secret Wars comic event, in which conflicting universes came together in Battleworld (the setting of the original Secret Wars), and attempts were made to streamline Marvel's sandbox.

The Time-Keepers:

The TVA's infomercial also confirms the organization are led by three Time-Keepers, who oversee the combined reality and dictate the proper flow of history. This big-faced trio were first introduced in the late 1970s, created from the sole remaining survivor of the previous universe's destruction. The mysterious overlords performed much the same function in the comics as they do in Loki, and possessed virtually complete mastery over time.

Kree And Nova's Attack On Titan:

As the animated exposition rumbles on, Miss Minutes (voiced by Tara Strong) uses "starting an uprising" as an example of something the TVA might potentially frown upon. The corresponding image shows two armies clashing, with the blue folk on the left appearing to be Kree, and the force on the right possibly the Nova Corps. Based on the spiky ruins in the background, the battle is taking place on Thanos' home planet of Titan. In Guardians of the Galaxy, Ronan confirmed the Kree and Nova Corps were at war for 1000 years - was the TVA involved somehow?

Nexus Events:

This week's lesson from Miss Minutes explains how stepping off one's designated path can create a "Nexus event," and spiral out of control to spawn countless alternate timelines that trigger another war. This word has cropped up several times in the MCU, first as an internet facility in Oslo (Avengers: Age of Ultron), and then as an antidepressant drug during one of WandaVision's fake commercials. The latter was most likely a reference to the Nexus of All Realities from the Marvel comics, which is essentially a gateway between every possible timeline. The TVA's Nexus events could take their name from the very same source.

The Timeline Diagram:

Throughout Loki's Disney+ debut, the TVA repeatedly use diagrams of a single flowing timeline with branches shooting off to represent unwanted deviations. MCU fans might recognize this from Avengers: Endgame, where the Ancient One drew something extremely similar while explaining the consequences of time travel to Bruce Banner. Perhaps Ms. One has visited the TVA herself once or twice?

Devil In The Church:

MEPHISTO. There, we said it. When Mobius asks a young girl who committed time crimes in 16th century France and the child points to a stained glass window depicting the Devil, Loki knew exactly what it was doing. WandaVision dropped several hints that Marvel's own Satan would appear, all of which proved fruitless, and Loki seems to be heading down the same hellish vein. Alas, there could be a simpler explanation. Mobius claims to be chasing an alternate version of Loki, and it's highly likely the child has mistaken the God of Mischief's famous horned helmet for the demonic horns of Lucifer.

Ravonna Renslayer:

Though her name isn't mentioned in Loki's premiere, Gugu MBatha-Raw's TVA judge is actually Ravonna Renslayer, who made her debut in a 1965 Avengers issue. In the comics, Renslayer is a human from the far future, most often a villainous figure associated with Kang the Conqueror. She certainly isn't a legal official sat behind a desk. One would imagine Marvel Studios has something more interesting in store for Renslayer further down the line.

Explaining Endgame:

During his TVA interrogation, Loki quite rightly points out that it was not he who meddled with the timeline. T'was those pesky Avengers who penetrated the Quantum Realm and disrupted the natural course of events in the aftermath of the Battle of New York; Loki merely picked up the Tesseract that fell at his feet. Unfortunately, this excuse falls on deaf ears, as Gugu MBatha-Raw confirms the Avengers' ambitious time heist was entirely sanctioned by the Time-Keepers. This exchange more or less clears up every single timeline wrinkle in the MCU, including Steve Rogers' reunion with Peggy, and Gamora from the past staying in the present. It's not altering time that irks the TVA; it's altering time in a manner the Time-Keepers haven't permitted.

Loki's "Wooing":

After Owen Wilson saves Loki from being "reset," the pair sit down for a more friendly conversation, but when Loki warns Mobius that cooperation isn't an option, the TVA officer retorts with, "even when you're wooing someone powerful you intend to betray?" Loki has betrayed a fair few people during his time, and Mobius' accusation could easily apply to Odin or Thor. Most likely, however, Mobius is alluding to Thanos here - a powerful figure Loki tried buttering up with intent to usurp him once the universe was brought to its knees.

Josta:

While not strictly a Marvel reference, it's worth noting that Mobius is a big fan of an ice cold Josta. Viewers of a certain age might not recognize this soda brand, but Josta is a genuine Pepsi product that was available in the late 1990s before being discontinued. An early variety of energy drink, there's evidently a few perks to hunting down timeline criminals. In Mobius' case, this includes sugary contraband.

Loki's Greatest Hits:

In a twisted version of It's A Wonderful Life, Mobius tries to change Loki by examining his choices in the past, present and future. Unlike the jaunty 1946 holiday classic, Mobius has access to a handy hi-tech screen which displays Loki's "greatest hits." The footage begins with the God of Mischief's defeat and arrest in 2012's The Avengers - perhaps not an entry Loki himself would've picked for the highlight reel. The screen next switches to Phil Coulson's death (which Loki definitely would pick), before moving on to images of civilian deaths from the Battle of New York, the gala eyeball removal scene, and the dictator speech, all from The Avengers.

D.B. Cooper:

More an Easter egg from real-world history than Marvel lore, Loki reveals the truth about D.B. Cooper - it was Agatha Loki all along! In 1971, an as-yet-identified man boarded a Boeing 727, held the aircraft ransom for $200,000, then parachuted out with the cash. Mobius' dive into Loki's past reveals that, thanks to a lost bet with Thor, the God of Mischief descended from Asgard to pull the plane heist himself as some kind of stunt. From Loki's hairstyle matching the real D.B. Cooper artist's impression to the smattering of bank notes left behind, there's an impressive attention to detail in this scene.

Infinity Stones In The Desk:

The Infinity Stones... Thanos would give his own daughter just for one. Entire worlds brought to their knees by their power. Humans turned into Gods at the merest touch. Gary from the TVA's HR department using one as a paperweight. Threatening Casey with a fishy demise, Loki finally gets his hands back on the Tesseract, only to discover even Infinity Stones are useless within the TVA's jurisdiction. To Loki's immense surprise, Casey's desk draw is chock-full of discarded Infinity Stones, most either of the Time or Reality variety (no surprises there). The scene essentially confirms that the power of these fabled jewels has led to more than a few timeline variant incidents over the years, but perhaps also undermines the once-unstoppable power of the Infinity Stones. Well, the Infinity Saga is over.

A 3rd Millennium Kang Hint?:

In its final scene, the Loki premiere might just be hinting at the future villain of Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania. The MCU will soon introduce Kang the Conqueror, a major comic book baddie played by Jonathan Majors, and "Glorious Purpose" could represent the first step toward his arrival. Called out to 19th century Oklahoma, TVA agents find a piece of technology hailing from the 3rd millennium. Though it might be a coincidence, Kang hails from the 31st century, and is known for using advanced tech in his dominion of the timeline. The mysterious hooded figure is more likely a Loki variant than Kang himself, but since Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania and Loki both deal in temporal themes, it wouldn't be strange for the Kang foundations to be laid on Disney+.

- Screen Rant

Loki releases new episodes every Wednesday on Disney+.

#loki series #loki #loki odinson #loki show #loki spoilers #tv news #tv show #movie magic #mcu #marvel #movies #marvel cinematic universe #movie news #mcu phase 4 #news #disney+ #tv series

[simplyoriginalcharacters]

Kit Imane

Audience: Teenagers, specifically those who are into fantasy/adventure stories

Setting: Macalgia, a parallel world of Earth where Pangaea did not break apart, magic exists, and humanity is one of six intellectual species. Thanks to five deities using their powers to immobilize Macalgia’s tectonic plates, the dimensional barrier between Earth and Macalgia have weaken. This has allowed humans in Macalgia to discover Earth a few decades before the start of the main story. Although the knowledge of Earth have been kept from the public, certain inhabitants of Macalgia used magic to take objects, such as computers, that did not exist in their world. As such, people on Macalgia can communicate with people on Earth through the Internet.

Hi! This is D with your profile review. Kit's full profile and review are under the cut.

 A civil war is threatening to break apart the only “human” country. A large number of people have lost faith in the royal family. United under the Cursed Lord, the Rebel Army needs a plan to overthrow the current king. In order to gain new ideas and technology, the Rebel Army decides to summon inhabitants of Earth. They ended up with five teenage girls, thanks to ignoring a myth of their world’s Pied Piper. (130 children from a foreign world were once summoned by the oldest goddess of Macalgia. She hoped to eventually integrate both worlds, but was eventually forced to send back the children after a year. These children kept the language, and resistance to Macalgian diseases, granted by the goddess.) This OC is one of the five foreign humans, all of whom were parts of the 130 children.

Purpose: A protagonist of an original story (that will hopefully be morally gray)

Additional Details: I am sorry if this is too long, I tried to shorten it to the basics without creating plot holes. I cut the things that are not as relevant to Kit’s central development (or to understanding the setting), so some things like the “beast pill” may sound odd. Their origin and purpose matter more to other main characters’ background/storyline, so I did not include it. Do you think that Kit is relatable/developed enough to be a main character? Also, based on Kit’s storyline, would you ever be interested in reading the story/the rest of this universe? Thank you

 Content:

Appearance: Kit is a 5’ teenager (12 at the beginning, 16 by the end of this story line) with dark brown eyes and long hair that reaches her waist. She is normally seen wearing a over-sized hoodie or coat with black dress pants. Like most people in Macalgia, Kit also carries around a weapon of choice (two swords in her case, although Kit is below-average in swordsmanship). After accepting a “beast pill,” orange and brown-striped cat ears sprout from her messy, light brown hair. Her unnaturally long, thin striped tail is usually curls like a snake around her right leg.

Personality: Kit is well-mannered, shy, and quiet, although she is not as passive as she tries to be. Given her sensitive and clingy personality, Kit is extremely attached to her friends and the people she finds interesting. She treats them the way she (subconsciously and consciously) wants to be treated, which involves being overprotected and doted on, making some feel that Kit believes they cannot protect themselves. While polite to most, Kit is also critical and distrustful of strangers, especially when they are friends of her friends due to jealousy and fear of getting tossed aside. She has really high expectations for people, particularly herself, which makes her prone to escapism, manipulation, and lying.

With her head often in the clouds, Kit is imaginative and artistically inclined. She is also very unathletic due to laziness (which partly stems from a desire to balance out her athletic best friend). Naturally playful – with a subconscious desire to unique and special – Kit tries to be unpredictable and amusing (often by imitating her favorite characters or tropes) around her friends, which often makes her come off as plain weird or geeky/nerdy.

Kit avoids looking into people’s eyes, so she keeps her head down or looks at something else while talking to other people (including friends she idolizes). She does not speak until a cue is given, whether it is silence or a command. She also tends to flinch away from strangers while staring at them with a bewildered or wary expression (a territorial glare in Kit’s mind).

Background/Story line: Kit is an undocumented immigrant who moved to the U.S. when she was a child. She loved fantasy/adventure anime and games, especially when it involves the “trapped in another world” trope. Kit wanted to be special like main characters, so she decided to change herself after feeling left out by her group of friends (which she thought only formed around her best and only friend). Her desire was to belong like everyone else. However, in an attempt to dye her hair, Kit accidentally spilled hair dye bleach onto said best friend– turning her hair white. In guilt and shame, Kit stopped instigating any conversation with all four of her friends, but was dismayed when her friends did not try hard to involve her in their conversations or activities. She wished upon a star for an adventure which could fix all of her friendships like in anime, and ended up getting one.

Trapped in Macalgia with the four friends, Kit tried to impress her friends by being genre-savvy (in both anime and undocumented immigration) but soon felt overshadowed by the couple who took all of them in (when the wife figured out they came from Earth). The couple had provided for all of their needs, and even enrolled them in a 2-year training academy to prepare them for their new world. Yet, when the whole town was killed by the Cursed Lord’s army, Kit was more bothered by her friends’ tears than the couple’s death. To her shame, Kit also knew she was even more bothered by the fact that the holy sword (which had been protected by the couple and the goal of the attack on the town) chose her best friend, not her.

In order to accept that she can never be as talented or popular as her friends even in this world, Kit praised and tried her best to support her friends at every opportunity. In order to avoid potential resentment, she also denied or downplayed any compliments to her skills in image summoning (a type of magic that materializes the summoner’s conscious thoughts as long as he/she can project and control the image in his/her mind). She hoped they would recognize and appreciate her loyalty and efforts, but when the group starts to fall apart due to conflicting goals, Kit slowly began to favor her summons because they are completely in her control.

Unwilling to give up on her friendships and ideals, however, Kit entered all of them into a fighting tournament. She convinced them with a speech about how they needed to raise funds for their goal, whether it end up being revenge for the couple or returning to Earth. While she chose the tournament because the mysterious egg prize interested her, Kit also made sure to form two teams: she and her friends on one team, her friends’ friends on the other team. When questioned, she explained that she divided them based on experiences and skill sets.

Out of everything she considered, Kit did not expect to meet up with what she believed to be her group’s arch-enemies: Cursed Lord, who turned out to be a teenager like them. Since her friends hated him at first sight, due to having caused the massacre of the town, Kit tried to feel the same way. She ended up getting lured to his side. In addition to telling her that she was special and that he wanted to become her friend, he gave her a rare “beast pill.” Lured by the promise of gaining cat ears and tail, in addition to power, Kit accepted and fell into a coma wrapped in cocoon. When she finally emerged three days later, Kit found out that her team lost an important battle through disqualification (insufficient members). She caused them to lose the first place they deserved.

Furious with herself (since she fell for the lie about the pill’s time requirement), Kit volunteered to participate in the battle royale which would determine second place. Taunted by an opponent, who told her to grow up when he noticed that she gave personalities to her image summons, Kit lost control of her new physical strengths. Drunk on the feeling of superiority, she almost killed the comrade of her opponent (who is a stranger to everyone she knew, unlike the opponent who charmed one of her friends a few days ago). Due to winning the battle royale, Kit’s team won second place, earning the egg and some funds.

When Kit found that her friends were indeed horrified with her new self, Kit thought about becoming a “solo player.” She decided against it because of the egg. It would be better if the creature could be raised and protected by her friends too. However, due to plans Kit could not agree with (handing over the egg to someone who wanted to destroy it because Kit almost killed him), she decided to escape with the egg. Since she had nowhere else to go, Kit ended up as a puppet/pet of the Cursed Lord.

After a few months in which she could only interact with her summons and the Cursed Lord, Kit decided she was fine with that – as long as she was his only “beloved pet.” Though Kit claimed she had enough of one-sided friendships, she used her summons to keep tracts of her Earthling friends. Kit was able to do this because her subconscious maintained those summons out of strong emotions (curiosity, jealousy, and/or concerns for her friends’ safety).

When the civil war finally started a year after she joined the rebels’ army, Kit submissively followed the Cursed Lord’s orders, which ranged from researching online information to slaughtering towns with summoned monsters. Soon, Kit became indifferent to the orders – retreating faraway by imagining that it was only a game, and that she would be forgiven like all those main characters in fiction. It took a in-person confrontation with one of her friends (as well as insults by said friend’s new boyfriend) to remind Kit that she is just running away from reality. Frustrated with the world to the point she could not concentrate enough to summon anything, Kit took the egg out of its incubator and hugged it to sleep. She woke up to a baby chimera licking away her tears, before biting her shoulder.

Through raising the chimera, Kit learned to accept that every creature has their flaws and virtues. As Kit became less self-centered, she started to appreciate people and relationships for what they are. She stopped idealizing the Cursed Lord as the “hero antagonist,” and stopped hoping that her friends would grow to become the “keys to ending the war.” Kit then decided to help everyone she had grown to love without choosing a side. She decided to protect all the places in which she could belong, even if it meant secretly betraying all of them.

To her delight and guilt, Kit’s complete submission and obedience had given her the Cursed Lord’s trust. With access to classified information and strings to pull, Kit decided to become a double agent. Aiding all three fractions involved in the civil war from the shadows, Kit sacrificed hundreds of strangers in order to keep all of her loved ones (now including her friends’ loved ones) alive by the end of the war.

Although she originally did not care whether the Cursed Lord live or die by the end of the war, Kit changed her mind once she found out that he was one of her online friends. Her text conversations with him caused the Cursed Lord to summon them to Macalgia. Grateful for that, Kit came to see the Cursed Lord as a friend she must protect as well.

At the end of the war, the Cursed Lord died. He was killed because of the plan Kit had ignored until she realized she cared. Although she experienced grief and a sense of failure, Kit tried to focus on being grateful that everyone else (the people she knew, even if some of them no longer desire her friendship after learning what she did for “their sake”) made it out alive. She was grateful for peace and missed her parents, but did not want to go back to Earth (where she would be powerless and unwanted by the government anyways). Kit also felt she had fought and sacrificed too much to simply give up her place in Macalgia– even when commanded to do so by its deities. Since Kit could not speak out against the deities or her friends, the most of whom wanted to return to Earth, Kit chose to secretly secure a way back to Macalgia.

Performing a forbidden magic (which she first used for another character near the beginning of the story), Kit summoned the Cursed Lord’s soul. Believing that it would play out like the classic “sharing a body” trope, with the added benefit of being able to use the Cursed Lord’s legendary weapon (which he had used to bring them to Macalgia), Kit did not realize that she would eventually lose her sense of self as her soul merges with the Cursed Lord’s in accordance to universal laws.

Although Kit had been communicating with them regularly through emails (a privilege granted by her position in the Rebel Army), Kit found herself crying as she was embraced by her parents and younger siblings – one of whom was born while she lived in Macalgia. Realizing that she missed four years worth of peace and familial memories (all in exchange for a violent, bittersweet adventure) a small part of Kit wondered if it was truly worth it.

Sidenote: I left out Kit’s impact on the other characters (both positive and negative ones) and some consequences of her actions (e.g. the impact Kit’s animal features have on her school and social life on Earth, the consequences of having a sword in a house with little kids, the strain of keeping a lot of secrets while having to live 24/7 with a male spirit, etc) since those deal more with the post-story or extra materials I might draw.

First things first, Kit's profile could benefit from some significant restructuring. There's a lot of information crammed into not a lot of categories (especially the Background/Story Line section) which makes the profile feel disorganized and meandering. Having more sections with specific coverage would make things easier to read and refer to later, as well as help the explanations and details stick in reader's minds. The SOC blog has a profile temple that provides all of the categories we usually recommend in an established order, if you'd like to reformat Kit's profile using that.

Moving on to the actual substance of the profile, I think Kit will need some serious retooling. As written she comes across as far too passive and self-defeating. She's not very proactive, and the moments of agency she does have all end up turning back on her in some unforeseen failure. While I understand the inspiration from anime-themed tropes and story choices, they don't really pan out in a way that creates much investment. Kit's over obsession with archetypes takes away any realistic perception of the circumstances she's in, and the overall reliance on them for the plot is either too simple or too convoluted to offer much interest. Even for a protagonist as young as Kit it seems very contrived. I'd suggest trimming down the reliance on tropes overall, but especially for Kit herself. Build her up as a more active character, one that is allowed to have some successes surrounding and integrated with her hardships. If all she does in the story is fail and mope about her place in-life, that doesn't really build much for the reader to get invested in (either for Kit herself or the story).

Something that I think would help in that direction is that if Kit were given something she is objectively good at. As written the only thing that Kit is particularly noteworthy at is summons and even that blows up in her face with the Curse Lord. The only other particular mention in the profile was that she carries around swords, but isn't actually skilled at using them. I don't understand why she would carry around weapons she isn't good at using – it just isn't practical. Giving Kit something in-particular that she is good at (and allowing her to use that to earn actual successes) will show that there are stakes and consequences for her actions. In addition to just making Kit's arc and progression more enjoyable and meaningful, it leaves the reader unsure of what the outcome will be (rather than assuming Kit will screw up just like all the other times she has).

On the same token, give Kit something she's competent at socially as well. As written she's an extremely passive character who doesn't really seem like a protagonist. To give an example, the first instance of Kit's social skills shown in the profile is when she accidentally spills dye on one of her friends' hair and turns it white. Her response is to shut down completely and effectively alienate herself from her group of friends over what is at best a temporary mistake (and it's not even mentioned that the other child was upset or how much it even bothered them to begin with). That trend of exceptional overreaction continues through the majority of Kit's other social instances, to the point where the anxiety and self-guilt aspects of her personality overshadow just about everything else about her. Cutting these aspects back to more reasonable levels would make Kit's presentation much more balanced, rather than frustrating and one-note. Play up her playfulness and allow Kit to actually be funny, rather than coming off as 'weird' to her friends (besides, if all they do is consider her odd/strange, why does she hang out with them in the first place?). Let other aspects of Kit's personality shine through more and show how her friends relate to them.

Speaking of Kit's friends, a Relationship section would do a lot to improve this area of the profile as well. As is, the vast majority of the mention of Kit's friends are how they either ignore her, mistrust her, or see her as a freak (due to the beast pill) or a failure (due to her mistakes). None of these are positive relationships, and does very little to making a convincing argument that Kit should sacrifice so much for people who care so little about her. Honestly, her friends come across as more vehement antagonists than the actual plot antagonist does. Give them actual relationships, likes and dislikes, and show why Kit is actually friends with these people (and why they are friends with Kit in-turn). Give them names and a bit of identity to show how they interconnect. Kit's profile should be about her primarily, but a person's relationships help define and show what kind of person they are (in addition to giving the reader more to get invested in). The same goes for Kit's family – show how Kit is connected to them, and how her parents' influence has helped shape her into the person that she is. Did they encourage her artistic side? Do they not understand her hobbies but want her to be happy with them nonetheless? Do they put a lot of expectations on her, or just let Kit do whatever she wants? There's a lot to explore here that would round out Kit's personality and make her connection to other characters more significant, it just needs to be included.

Back to the topic of Kit herself, given the nature of the story and your target audience, I'd suggest aging her and her friends up. Having her be sixteen or so and become an adult as the plot progresses would make all of the increasingly hard choices and more dire circumstances of the novel better reflect her growth. As written, Kit starting the story at twelve doesn't really give room to even expect her to succeed at any of the things she's supposed to be trying. Her age makes the failures unsurprising and the successes implausible, which curtails a lot of potential impact the story has on the reader (and gives them less room to get attached to any impact is has on Kit). Magical alternate dimension or not, Kit would still be a kid and should still have the mentality of one. That's not to say that Kit should be portrayed as unintelligent or unobservant, but it does naturally limit the things she should be able to understand, articulate, and accomplish to the point that it makes some of the other proposed aspects seem somewhat absurd. Making Kit an older teenager at the start would curtail all of these issues and give her an innate expectation of being 'more capable,' in addition to making her adaptation to Macalgia more understandable (as well as make her reactions to the events around her more tangible and nuanced, given that she'd be able to process them better).

Regarding Kit's Background/Story Line, to start off I don't think the story line should be included. It's a good thing that you've considered it and put so much work into it, but in the context of a character profile all that does is give away what's going to happen to Kit and how she'll change as the plot progresses. A profile should be 'This is who my character is' as opposed to 'This is who my character is, who they will be, and why they'll become that person.' At that point it's moved beyond the character themselves to summarizing the entire story. Cut out the story line and focus more on Kit's Background. This section doesn't have to be exhaustive, and given Kit's age (either her current age or my suggested older one) there shouldn't be all that much to it anyway. Cover any major personality shaping events, give an overview of Kit's life, and leave the background to end at where Kit starts off at the beginning of the story. That keeps the focus on her identity, doesn't give away any spoilers, trims down the length of the profile considerably, and gives readers a more solid latching on point to continue with.

All in all, while there are some neat ideas in Kit's profile I don't think she makes a very effective protagonist as is. Too much of her personality is buried under over-exaggerated negative aspects, the over-reliance on tropes negates a lot of potential for characterization/critical thinking on Kit's part (and thus actual agency in the plot), and her current progression is mostly moving from one bad decision to the next. That isn't to say that Kit can't start out her story as an imbalanced person who makes mistakes – that's actually a pretty effective character arc. Just that it shouldn't be as so extreme (and that she should learn from it, eventually). Balance out her identity, let her friends actually be her friends, and show how Kit learns from her actions rather than being forced to continually blame herself for them and I think you'll have a much more effective protagonist.

I hope this helps!

-D

#SOC Critique #OC Critique #Backstory Help #Development Help #General Help #submission

[lexxikitty-blog1]

The Princess and the Prix by Nell Stark Series: Princess Affair: #2 Read: January 2016 Rating: 4.75 Stars

My second book by Stark, and second in this series.

I was both eager and somewhat hesitant to read this book.  I had liked the first book I had read, despite some of the negative reviews I had read, and everything about the second one seemed to make it something that would interest me.  Some of the initial reviews of this specific book here were quite negative.  Then I started to see some positive ones, but all these reviews were coming in while the book was still not available to me. So by the time the book actually came out, I still took . . . hmm, almost three months to try it. Wait, three months? I didn’t have access to it in November.  Hmm. Maybe I did? Bah, whatever, not important.

The book features Princess Pommelina Alix Canella of Monaco, the middle child, and Thalia d’Angelis, a race car driver of mixed US and UK birth.  Despite being a princess of Monaco, Alix cares nothing for the Monaco Grand Prix, motorsports, and potentially sports in general (I forget if this attitude extended to other sports; Alix gets called Pomme, Pommelina, and Alix in the book, she prefers Alix).  Instead she is more concerned for helping others, like women in Africa.  When that specific bit of information came to light, I was vaguely disappointed in one specific way – I don’t particularly like reading about people of privilege who are quite disdainful of their own privilege and/or if not disdainful, then they are ashamed of it and wish to do everything they can to work tirelessly for others.  It is somewhat tiring to read a book with such a character. Luckily, while Alix does have a certain amount of . . . maybe not shame, but something approaching that, and while she does have desire to help others, she isn’t the annoying/tiring type.   She is the bookish middle child who has a certain amount of introversion and prefers not to be in crowds but can ‘turn it on’ when she has to (by turn it on – be the good princess/hostess/etc.).  

In an effort to figure out how to go about setting up a foundation, Alix takes an opportunity presented to her to go be the Monaco representative at a royal wedding in England. The wedding of Princess Sasha and Kerry Donovan – the two lead characters from the prior book.  She takes the opportunity because she wishes to talk with the Princess of Wales, who set up a foundation of her own (Ashleigh – the wife of Sasha’s brother Arthur).  She does make a connection, and this does become a theme that continues throughout the book. Well, not the connection specifically to Ashleigh, but the setting up and then opening a foundation.  At the same event, Alix meets Thalia.   Up to this moment Alix was, for the most part, asexual. As in, didn’t care about sex, developing a sex life, or romance in general.  Thalia, on the other hand, well, we will get to Thalia.

I’m not sure why I started with Alix first, since Thalia’s point of view opens the book. No matter.

Thalia D’Angelis is an accomplished race car driver who dominates the (a?) lower Formula One like race circuit – GB2 I think she kept calling it.  She’s put up with the male misogynistic nature of the sport for several years, but finally breaks after winning the first race of the season and gets asked, yet again, how she feels about her teammate, her lesser teammate (and everyone is lesser, since Thalia had been last year’s champion) got promoted over her to the Formula One Ferrari team.  She’s 26. She’s a proven champion. She bit her lips and ‘took’ everyone’s advice to ‘be patient’, while the men around her were pushed to stretch and go for their goals. But, while being interviewed after the race, she lets loose about her real thoughts.

Thalia returns to her home in London assuming that she’s now out of a job, and probably blackballed from racing.  Picks up a woman to play with, and goes back to her place.  Yeah, I said I’d get to Thalia – she doesn’t believe in relationships, at least not deep relationships. She’s more of a causal type, not necessarily one and done, but close to that.  Well, while humping, literally in the middle of ‘sexing up’ a hot young woman, Thalia phone rings.  She ignores it but eventually takes it after the third interruption.  A Formula One team wants to hire her.  So, her life isn’t actually over, and instead, her dream is about to become true.

Somewhere in between winning the first race in that under-circuit, getting hired by a Formula One team, and the first Formula One race, Thalia attends a wedding. The one I already mentioned above.  While there she spots Alix.  Well, they spot each other.  At the wedding itself, Thalia is gazing about, people watching. Spots a woman pop in starring up.  Then walking into the ‘royal’ only part of the church, then realizes that she was watching a royal, a princess.  Later, at the reception/after party/whatever they called it; Alix is at her table, by herself, while everyone else dances. She people watches.  Thalia suddenly is next to her, and they talk, briefly.  Then some guy named, I think, Sebastian shows up and drapes himself over Alix.  Alix doesn’t want anything to do with Sebastian but can’t get him to leave her alone.  Sebastian tells her they will dance, and then leaves to take a call. Thalia, somehow or another, decides to teach Alix how to dance. Right there and then.  I’ve mentioned all of this to get to this part – the fact that Alix and Thalia meet, interact, and some connection develops.  Plus, this leads Thalia to invite Alix to watch the Formula One race, since Lady [insert name here – the wife of the guy who owns Thalia’s Formula One team] will be there and is big into charity work.

So, that’s the first part of the book.  Thalia and Alix have a vaguely friend/acquaintance/what-the-heck-are-we thing going on.  Thalia races. Alix watches, while mostly attempting to set up her foundation.  Alix has feelings she didn’t expect to have.  Ones she has certain issues with. She, being a scientist, knows that humans are not the only species that have homosexual relationships, but she is from one of the last bastions of conservativism in Europe. And while she doesn’t believe in the same things her parents do, regarding religion/sexual orientation/etc., she still spends most of the book trying to figure out if she is homophobic, and whether or not some of the feelings she is having might have some connection to that.  So you have that ‘blocking/slowing’ things on one side of the potential relationship; while you have someone who can’t allow themselves to be in a deeper, less than shallow relationship on the other – one with a bad reputation splashed across the newspapers.

I’ve read many sports books in my time. They tend to go one of three ways.  One – one of the people involved in the book, most of the time the main character, is an athlete in some sport.  While the book might include aspects of that part of the character’s life, most of the action takes place outside the actual ‘field/pitch/track/etc.’ It’s just that person’s job.  Two – see above, stop at ‘most of the action’, change to ‘most of the action takes place on the field . . .’  Three – one of the main characters is an athlete or an ex athlete.  The book has nothing to do with that aspect of their lives, for the most part, but with their . . . amazing amateur investigative skills (I’ve read a lot of mysteries in my day).  The difference between one and three mostly deals with the specific character – the character in one is an active professional; the one in the third ‘way’, mostly, is an ex-professional athlete.  This book goes a way I haven’t really seen before. I don’t mean that it is super original, for all I know it is/or isn’t.  No, it’s the part where there are more than one point of view, while everything I’ve read for 1-3 above have mostly only one point of view. So this is a mixture of one and two.  There is extensive action that takes place outside the sport, and a lot of action in the sport.

That was very wordy. Let me try again.  Sports books go two ways. They have detailed descriptions of the sport (the game/race/match/etc.), or they don’t. This book includes detailed descriptions, though not every race has the same level of detail.  Some occur ‘off the page’.  None follow a complete race from start to finish; that would probably add about a thousand pages.  The race activity was actually quite thrilling, exciting to read.  I really felt like I was inside the car.  Oh, right, I was going to mention this ‘realness’ elsewhere.  So, yes, the races felt real.

As do the characters.  I had the strong feeling that Alix and Thalia were real. And I was reading about full-bodied three dimensional people. They are the focus, so they felt the most real,

So, long and short, I loved the book.  You do not have to have read the prior book to read this one, nor should you refrain from reading the prior book if you skipped right to this one.  The characters from the prior book pop up in this one, but their trials and tribulations are not discussed, at least not in detail, in this book.  So you won’t be ‘spoiled’, again for the most part if you read the second before the first.  

Hmm, for the purposes of the prior paragraph, I just reread my review for the first book.  I’d forgotten certain issues I had had, ones that I was able to get past, somewhat easily, but which were there. I mention because some of those issues actually pop up in this one. And I didn’t even have a single problem with them. Mostly because of the nature of the people involved in this book.  I’m being vague.  Mostly because I realize that if I am specific, then I might actually fall into accidentally spoiling the first book. So I’ll refrain. And depart.

Review Written: January 6 2016

#Princess Affair #Bold Strokes Books #Second in Series #Lesbian Fiction #Lesbian Romance #Romance #Contemporary Romance #Book Review #Lesbian Book Review #2016 Reads #4.75 Stars #New Adult #Sports Fiction