#oh imagine this in ROK too

[ridiasfangirlings]

Yata who can transform into a cute three-legged crow that likes to perch on Fushimi's shoulder. Or settle on his head like a birdie in a nest.

Hmm, maybe this is like one of those AUs where Yata's secretly a Strain? He can turn into a three-legged crow and of course he thinks this is really cool, like he can fly around and stuff – except actual crows don't like him and chase him off when he tries to befriend them, and humans just chase him off with brooms and don't like him either. Because of this Yata keeps his power a secret, he tells himself it's like he's a superhero with a secret identity except even though he's a three-legged crow he's still normal crow sized (or maybe even smaller, much to his mortification, and he insists to himself that his crow form will grow as soon he hits his human growth spurt. Any day now.) and so it's hard to actually do anything superhero-like. But then he meets Fushimi in middle school and Fushimi is amazing even without superpowers so Yata decides that this will be the first person he confides his secret in. Fushimi takes it pretty calmly, like imagine Yata's all apprehensive that his new best friend will hate him or call him a freak or something and instead Fushimi just snickers and notes that Yata's an awfully short crow.

After that Yata feels more comfortable going into crow form around Fushimi, Fushimi doesn't mind and anyway Saruhiko's smart and uses Yata's crow form for like reconnaissance and spying and basically all these cool superhero things that Yata hadn't even considered because he figured any sort of superpower a person had they would use it for fighting. Imagine this mostly when they're in middle school and pre-Homra, Yata likes to just perch on Fushimi's shoulder sometimes (and peck him when he's being a jerk), or he'll settle on Fushimi's head and Fushimi waves him away because he doesn't want Yata nesting in his hair. Yata turns human and laughs that Fushimi's hair is a bird's nest anyway so why is he complaining so much.

Then they join Homra and Yata stops using his crow form as much, everyone knows about it but Yata would rather be in the vanguard fighting with the power Mikoto-san gave him than be gathering information. Post-betrayal Fushimi loves to tease Yata for being a 'scrawny crow' and it always gets a rise out of Yata every time. But then imagine post-reconciliation, say Fushimi's recovering from his leg wound in hospital and Yata hasn't been able to go visit him yet. One afternoon he hears this tap on the hospital window that Munakata left open so Fushimi could get some air, Fushimi looks up and in flies this little three-legged crow. Fushimi clicks his tongue like you don't need to come check on me and Yata doesn't even shift, he just settles himself on Fushimi's shoulder and nuzzles his cheek a little and Fushimi huffs and lies back down, just accepting that wordless affection and maybe feeling a little more relaxed in spite of himself because Misaki's here.

#sarumi #Talking K #oh imagine this in ROK too #when Yata saves Fushimi #like as soon as the door opens Yata just *dives* off the airship and turns into a crow mid-jump #flying through the tunnels as fast as he can trying to find Saruhiko #turning human just in time to block Sukuna's attack and looking very heroic #afterward Yata starts using his crow form more often especially when Fushimi's around #he just likes sitting on Saru's shoulder it's calming

[idontknowmyownmind]

TBOAH Crossover

× ORV

OG!Cale, 40y.o, is transmigrated into earth as his 18y.o self

KDJ and KRS world is the same

2 or 3 years gap between Dokja (older) and Rok Soo (younger)

Cale first met Dokja when he was 7 at the park he frequently visit

They bond over Cale reading a book to Dokja or lend him a book to read beside him

Before the event Dokja killed his dad, his mom asked Cale for a help to take care of Dokja

Idk, the one who kill the dad is the mom while the son is with Cale at that time

Somehow the mom manage to prepared everything so Cale taking in Dokja

Cale doesn't even know about it

Since then, Cale has been taking care of Dokja and give him all the loves he deserves 🥰

Met Rok Soo when he was 6

Rok Soo secretly also hearing Cale reading for Dokja

Cale know but let him be

Until one day he called him over and now their group consist of three people

Rok Soo never starve for to long because Cale make sure he ate as much as he want

He took in Rok Soo first, somewhat make it happen after threatening the bastard uncle

Yes, it's older brother Dokja and younger brother Rok Soo 🥺 Kim brothers

They are not that mess up in the head because Cale make sure they got all the thing they want and deserves, from loves, attention, affection, anything

They are happier and have a more healthy mindset, even though there are some parts that still mess up due to being exposed to trauma at early ages

Apocalypse still happens

They were not together at that time, Dokja in the subway and Rok Soo somewhere else

They met at the 5 or 7 scenario or something

[Oh My God, now they have two sacrifical idiots!!]

I WILL NOT OFF LSY OR CJS, they are alive until the end 😊

Idk why but I want Cale to dissapear or so suddenly become a constellation at the beginning of apocalypse

I'm tired of the angst!! Both babies deserves all the love in the world 😭

[+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+]

× Bungou Stray Dogs

Rok Soo transmigrated in his 20y.o body instead of inside Cale's

A week before Harris village massacre (it still happen)

Hmm... should I make Rok Soo as transmigrator + regressor from LCF too?

Regressor Choi Han and Alver from LCF

Met Choi Han earlier

When Cale 15, he started to hear voices inside his head, 2 voices

It's Dazai and Fyodor lol

My poor baby... having those two mentaly unstable devils when he is unstable himself..

The voices kinda influence him and they can take over his body sometimes

Imagine Cale with those two personalities 😭

Cale as Fyodor will have more connection upperground while Cale as Dazai will be more tune with underground

With those two guidance, Cale will be unstoppable lol

Imagine on both side while you just do your thing without care as long as your family are safe

Since it's Dazai, Cale will form a habit of wearing bandages and something about suicide

And sincw it's Fyodor... world domination at the finest

Everyone think there are three red-hair running amok lol

[+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+]

× Black Butler

Cale made a deal, or contract, with Sebastian when he lost everything in his life for revenge

Rather than joining the army, he became wanderer who hunt down arms wherever they go with the help of his demon butler

The demonic contract seals are in both of his eyes, that's why he wear a blindfold but he still can see clearly

Just.. imagine, Cale standing in front of the tree near Harris Village, where his mother's ancient power was located

And it's when the group of heroes visiting that place for something

They are not shocked by his appearance but by the scattered corpses of arms around while Cale just stood blankly facing the tree

When they want to confront him, they stop because someone seemingly teleported by shadow arrived by Cale's side

They talk about something before the person teleported them somewhere

#og!cale henituse #trash of the counts family #au #crossover #orv #bsd

[anrisimps]

Krs hummed while cooking. He was making cjs's favorite soup. He smiled a little as he imagined cjs's reaction. How his eyes would light up and would reward him with a million dollar smile which more often than naught, blinded krs. 

He gasped as two hands suddenly wrapped themselves around his waist and he looked back only to find Lsh gazing at him fondly. He gave an appreciative hum as he inspected the soup, "Jung Soo is going to love that Roksoo- ya"

"I know" 

Lsh bent his head down and nuzzled his face in the crook of krs's neck before planting a small kiss against his collar bone. 

"And nothing for me..?. Im hurt dongsaeng"

Krs didn't reply and just continued cooking. Lsh huffed when he saw that smirk on his face and pinched his waist, "Ow, what are you being jealous over for?"

Lsh  tightened his hold on krs and began rubbing little circles on his waist. It felt extremely nice. Krs leaned back into lsh's muscled body and tilted his head so that their faces were mere inches apart.

"Do u really think I would do nothing for you? Hah…. I made your favorite chocolate cake"

" Rok soo ~ This hyung loves you a lot" 

"....."

" Come on, you have to say it back. Don't you love your hyung anymore?"

"Dont ask something so obvious"

Lsh laughed and ruffled his hair, " You punk! You never change, do you?"

Krs ignored him and began packing up the soup and the cake. He could hear cjs's voice in the doorway. Lsh turned away to greet his boisterous dongsaeng and left krs in the kitchen. Unbeknownst to him, krs's gaze turned soft when he heard his two most, and only, favorite people squabbling like children just a door away. 

With a big sigh, he picked up the food and went to find his idiots. They weren't very far away after all. It's been quite a while since they relaxed together, just the three of them.  

Krs stared blankly as both of them waved, crouched around a street cat. The cat meowed pathetically as she felt krs's gaze on it. Krs walked past them and kneeled down and unpacking the food. He felt his surroundings going quiet as piled up the food on different plates. The cat, more of a kitten really, meowed again and rubbed her head against krs's ankles affectionately. Krs set the lsh and cjs's favorite food on their respective graves and sat back with his legs crossed. 

He had met this cat 2 years ago when he came to visit them. She always seemed to be loitering around their graves and krs always ended up bringing some food for her too. She always ate half and saved some for her sibling - a red kitten smaller than her. Krs had seen him once. He never appeared again after that. Krs doesn't know what happened to him. 

Just like always, the kitten ate half of it and krs…didn't eat anything. He continued to stare at the graves for a long while as if the sight wasn't already imprinted in his mind forever. Suddenly feeling extremely tired, krs closed his eyes and allowed his head to rest on his knees and dozed off. 

In his half lucid state, he felt as if someone was caressing his hair. A bright, infectious laughter floated past him. It felt distant, oh so distant, as if even the figments of his imagination were being blown away by the wind. He buried his head even deeper into his arms as the litany of voices whirled around him,completely obvious to his growing  despair,

"Kim Rok Soo , Roksoo- yah , Dongsaeng  Roksooroksooroksooroksooroksooroksooroksooroksooroksooroksoo-"

.

.

Live well, eat well Roksoo. Being alive is the best.."

And just like that all the other voices disappeared and the place descended into silence once again. He was finally alone. Like always.

#AAAASSHSHDHDHBDBDBDB #delusion? in this economy? #Its more likely than you think! :D #*punches wall* #i am not crying you are #buddy daddies decided to break my heart into pieces and then crush them like it was nothing #so here i am #taking it out on krs #shamelessly #hahahha #kim rok soo #choi jung soo #lee soo hyuk #polysoos #trash of the count's family #lout of count’s family

[calehenituse-brainrot]

okay, idea time! I was thinking of a Reader who ships BL, their favorite book had been the Birth of a Hero, Reader read it right before Kim Rok Soo did, but fate decided that Kim Rok Soo was more important in saving the world than Reader was, and...

"I hate you... So... Much..."

Cale sighed, looking at the ceiling like he was Done with all of Reader's BS. Which, he was, but survival was more important than her OTP getting together, okay?

"Choi Han and Alberu just had that homoerotic chemistry together, you know?! THE SEXUAL TENSION WAS SUPER HIGH IN THE SCENE WHERE-"

Cale knows. He KNOWS. He REMEMBERS. You've talked about it almost all the time in your previous life.

He doesn't want to hear it again.

"BUT NOW?" Instead of a tear-streaked face and more whining of your OTP not getting together, Reader grins, "Choi Han and Alberu are definitely gay for you, Love!"

Cale choked.

"What?"

Reader nods. "There are so many people who have potential to be your love interest-"

"I think we're forgetting that the genre of this book is literally hurt/no comfort and adventure... Right?"

"Darling, this is the real world now! Chances for Romance is now very flexible without an author to limit the romantic scenes based on the capacity of their imagination!"

True... But Cale's not giving up on his definitely-not found family and hurt/comfort with hints of fluff genre change, "Choi Han's relationship with Alberu was just a Prince and his trusted knight, though?"

"And now, Choi Han is your trusted knight, and the Prince has a deeper relationship with you! Heck, a whole bunch of characters seem to have a significant relationship with you! Beacrox seems closer to you lately as well, you know?"

I'm sorry, WHAT?!

Reader nods, a proud grin on your face. "My dear Cale~ Such a charmer~ I don't mind you gathering a harem as long as I get to see all the pretty ti-"

"Haaaaaaaa..." You were driving Cale nuts.

......

"Hey Cale?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think those tentacles exist here too?"

You were driving Cale VERY. NUTS. And he feels he needs to apologize to Alberu.

.....

God forbid you see Adin.

"Oh my god, he's HOT. HE'S DEFINITELY THE TOP WHILE VALENTINO'S THE BOTTOM! MY OTHER FAVORITE SHIP STILL EXISTS, THANK GOD-"

Cale sighs. He's so tired. Raon taps his knee.

"Human, is that Adin-bastard strong? Is that why he's on top?"

Cale is more tired now.

.....

Valentino is now on Cale's side.

Reader nods in pride. "My love, your Harem grows!"

.....

Reader also had a sudden realization.

You look at Cale with sparkling eyes. "You don't have your bulging muscles anymore..."

Cale raises a brow. "Yeah? So?"

Reader places a hand on Cale's shoulder. "It means that you're breedable!"

Huh?

"YOU'RE A TWINK!"

"I AM NOT!"

"A BOTTOM!"

"I CAN STILL DOMINATE! AND YOU KNOW THAT VERY WELL!"

A gleeful squeal from Reader. "A POWER BOTTOM!"

THE WAY I WOULD BOTHER HIM ENDLESSLY ??? SCREAMING

hopefully he'd show me how he is able to dominate HUEHUEHUE

#trash of the count's family #cale henituse #totcf #tcf cale #cale henituse x reader #lout of count's family #lcf cale #ask me stuff #answered ask #calehenituse brainrot

[lokisgoodgirl]

Imagine me, checking my Activity feed and "oh cool someone used one of my .gifs and oh WOW it's one of the Frasier ones?? I wonder what they used it for..."

And then smashcut to me wheezing with laughter about the idea of Loki and Thor but they're based on Niles and Fraiser, oh my *lord*!

~Hey baby i hear that hammer callin, tossed jotuns and Rag-na-rok~

Ahmagaddddd 🤣🤣🤣no way!!!! Well THANK YOU for your diligent Frasier giffage. Iconic. I was honestly a bit worried when I saw this because usually if gif makers get in touch they're mad at me for the context...so this was a massive delight to read 😂😂

Look @superficialdomina @peachyjinx @mrs-illyrian-baby the Craneison AU gains traction! Behold!

AND she brought a theme song rework!!!! Incredible @lankybrunettepartdeux

👆👆Just realised this is one of yours too😂😂how fortuitous.

#craneison au

[blueteller]

For the WIP game, I literally cannot choose over these ones so handing it over to you, blue! I know I'm asking for too much but can you please let me see at least the idea or an excerpt of 3 WIPs I listed below (all of them sounds so good i wanna see the idea behind them or an excerpt of them 😭)

Selectively mute KRS AU

A Blessed Curse

What Kind of Alternate Universe Setting Is This!?

The Scam Artist

Dump it all on Trash, why don't you!

Who do you think you are (and why you're wrong)

Dragon Ex Machina

Cale Henituse gets (a vacation) kidnapped

Hm... Why don't I give you summaries about each one?

1. Selectively mute KRS AU

Due to his previous experiences, Kim Rok Soo is a very reserved person. He doesn't speak, unless it concerns work. So you can imagine the stress he's under when he suddenly becomes Cale Henituse.... ...Elsewhere, the original Cale curses the God of Death. It would have been nice to have a warning not to talk too much as Kim Rok Soo!! How could he have know that him saying a simple sentence would make people faint from shock!?

2. A Blessed Curse

Is there a god which can offer Cale his much desired slacker life? Actually, there is! The god of memory offers Cale a deal, to which he agrees without any hesitation. He's very pleased with the results... However, all his well-meaning friends see is a terrible curse being put upon Cale. Naturally, they must break it!! (Or, a story where people of the world temporarily get amnesia about Cale being the Hero who saved both continents – except Cale's closest companions, that is. Cue classic TCF shenanigans and misunderstandings.)

3. What Kind of Alternate Universe Setting Is This!?

Kim Rok Soo fell asleep reading a fantasy novel. The next thing he knew, he found himself transmigrated into the body of one of its minor villains, except… …Except everything is completely wrong!!! Why is Cale Henituse a respected Commander? Why does he have multiple Ancient Powers? And why is Choi Han his body guard here instead of the guy who beat him up? Where did all of these Beast People even come from?? And wait a second, is that a f***ing Dragon?! (A Crack Amnesia AU set right after the war against the Indomitable Alliance, where Cale literally trips over a rock and loses his memory for a day – until Eruhaben can come and heal him. Complete chaos and hilarity ensues.)

4. The Scam Artist

A companion piece to a fic called "body hopping for dummies" by thursdays on AO3.

"So what you're telling me is, this guy…" Kim Rok Soo gestures at his newly acquired body with a suspicious gleam in his eyes. "…is super rich? I mean he is in charge of the evil organization and all."

"Oh no," Choi Jung Soo responds dramatically.

"Oh yes." Kim Rok Soo grins widely, making the others shiver in sudden fear. "That bastard stole everything from me, right? So it's only fair that I'll steal it all back."

"…Are you sure we actually kicked out White Star out of that body?" Cage whispers to Choi Jung Soo, doubtful. 'That smile still seems pretty evil.' she thinks.

"Yep," Jung Soo replies with a deadpan. "That's Rok Soo alright."

"I like this weird human!" Raon decides suddenly.

A short story of what happens after the heroes defeat the White Star and ressurect Kim Rok Soo in his original body: Chaos, Destruction, and the Friendship that grows between them.

5. Dump it all on Trash, why don't you!

Cale Henituse was just having a drink and causing trouble, as usual. He did not expect to be approached by someone wearing his own face, supposedly a transmigrator from the future in another dimension. Now he's expected to save the world by himself?! Damn that bastard!!! (Or, the story where KRS!Cale gives 18-year-old OG!Cale exposition before the Birth of a Hero starts, in order for him to change the story on his own. Will OG!Cale be able to manage? Is he ready to become single parent?? And why does he have to adopt people who are older than him??)

6. Who do you think you are (and why you're wrong)

What if Cale had reacted a bit differently to the Message from the God of Death…? After all, he had been okay with losing his old life only because he had been alone before. However, that wasn't the case anymore: now he had friends and children dependant on him. Cale knew the feeling of being left behind and wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy… Except it seemed like the God of Death wouldn't be giving him a choice, just like Kim Rok Soo wasn't given one when he first transmigrated. Die or return to your old world? Either way, his family would lose him. Does that mean the previous owner of this body was going to come back and take what was rightfully his…? Just how was Cale going to explain that to everyone? How could he simply disappear and leave a stranger in his place? (Or, a fic which forces Cale to act slightly out of character and TELL his friends things for a change. He also picks a different "least distressing" part of the God of Death's message.)

7. Dragon Ex Machina

Eruhaben has NOT asked for this. This must be that unlucky bastard's fault – his bad luck seems to be contagious, since breaking through the Sealed God's Temple wall apparently causes the intruder to be termporarily transported into a parallel universe. Now, Eruhaben has absolutely no clue why Cale in this dimension is called Kim Rok Soo, or why his face reminds him very much of the White Star for some reason. Nevertheless, Eruhaben would recognize his wayward child in any form, and there's no way he would let this dimension's version of him die by the hands of some Goddamned Unranked Moster. (Or, the story of how Eruhaben swooped in to save KRS's team and spare him the most heartbreaking moment of his life. Also, Dragons can dispell half-baked curses, because KRS deserves to live a happy life.)

8. Cale Henituse gets (a vacation) kidnapped

The horror! Raon and the cats go on a short shopping trip, but the moment they take their eyes off of Cale their guardian gets kidnapped! Luckily for them, they are well trained and capable of tracking him down with no problem. Unluckily for Cale, this is the most relaxing event he had experienced in months - can't they pick him up a bit later, please…? Meanwhile, the poor unsuspecting kidnappers have no idea what they're getting themselves into. This is what happens when you don't check the identity of your abduction target.

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #my wrtitng #tcf fanfic #au ideas #q&a #replies

[pendwelling]

Favorite tcf headcanon you never told anyone about (or you did)

OH MAN.

Choi Han with monolided eyes.

Sometimes when I draw Choi Han or the Soos I would look into the mirror and think about using my own eyes as references, and that got me thinking about Choi Han falling into the TBoaH world which is vaguely European-inspired, and how the idea of him being the probably only Asian-looking person in this world is just so interesting to me. Choi Han already doesn't belong to that world, so the idea of his appearance further distinguishing him apart from this "novel" world is just—interesting? I like Choi Han being visibly a foreigner. I like him being drawn with ethnically east asian features. I watch TV and see typically Caucasian features and compare them to mine— my nose, my skin colour, my monolids, all so very Asian. If youre Asian and have stood in room full of white people, lemme tell you haha, you definitely feel how much you stand out—you can also see it, too! I love the diverse features us humans take, and I love the monolids that are so common amongst my ethnic group.

Choi Han being South Korean is so important to his identity, and while features are of course diverse in every ethnic group, there are as well large common traits as well, and I just think him with monolids would be so neat to that aspect of him. In a character design standpoint it's just so good, too! The webtoon doesn't show this, and though the art is incredibly beautiful ofc, sometimes I find myself wishing Choi Han's design had that little detail—so minuscule but so significant haha!

Also imagine Kim Rok Soo waking up in Cale Henituse's body. Local South Korean man wakes up in the body of a white European man—the fact that the guy has accepted his situation so quickly really speaks of his mentality (and we all know how his backstory went for him to grow into such a person :')) but STILL.

I also like to think that, as the only South Korean-looking person in the entire world, KRS, as Cale, probably finds a bit of comfort just looking at Choi Han, perhaps. A small reminder of home—maybe he even shares the same eyes as Choi Jung Soo! And since I am unable to hold back my choicale soul, I also like to think that Cale would probably call Choi Han's eyes beautiful at some point. Probably offhandedly, or maybe in a rare show of quiet tenderness—and in response Choi Han would smile very brightly, his eyes crinkling softly at the corners, and he'd call Cale-nim beautiful too (to which Cale would ofc deadpan at hahaha and Choi Han would follow up by saying that KRS is beautiful too! CJS' memories definitely seem to agree)

I definitely went on for a bit too long but yEAH SKSJFKSKDK that's pretty much it! As an artist and a writer, this is definitely one of my biggest and favourite LCF headcanons that I have 🛐

#asks #lcf #choi han with monolids! #lcf asks

[weirdsht]

I FINALLY REMEMBERED IT

There were two versions of the White Star brain rot. One with the reader, and the other with an Oc(because pretty sure no one's gonna take this man). It honestly started as a joke, like "Imagine if White Star had a therapist friend. Lmao." And then my friend just looked at each other and went "fuck it". And made White Star a therapist friend.

Reader version, I think, is basically God of Death fucked up and accidentally brought a random soul into the world but saw that they knew about the future so tried to get them in a suitable body. Buuut they ended up sharing a body with White Star so GoD gives them a blessing to protect them from his curse because OH BOY HE DONE MESSED UP. Reader realizes, "oh shit, I'm in the white radish's body" but White Star isn't aware because they're just a tiny mortal and he's a reincarnatior that's been alive for centuries. They can only speak to him every so often, so they sort of become his conscious and start secretly pitting him against the Sealed God. As he gets more aware of them, they start gaining more power and create a little mind space where they can project their body. A little safe space away from the very concerning thoughts that swarm his head. However, it's a double-edged sword as White Star quickly realizes his conscious(that he thought he lost a long time ago) was just this random person who distracted him from his goals.

After realizing there's nothing he can do about them, they explain TBOAH and TCF and making him realize all his plans are in vain as even if he does succeed, time will get rewinded and he'll have to deal with the menace that is Cale Henituse. So they make a deal, they get to live in this weird limbo state but will eventually get a body, and he finds a way to permanently deal with the SG as well as all the information they have. All of this takes place centuries ahead of the TCF and TBOAH Timelines. By the time KRS arrives, White Star has gotten... Attached to the little mortal living in his head and all his "villainous" acts are for show so the SG doesn't suspect anything. SG is aware of them, but thinks that they can't do anything. He is wrong. Thanks to them, White Star fakes his death and the SG is permanently taken care of. Reader gets to finally take over his body, as he had to sacrifice a bit of his soul to deal with SG so now he's the one in the mind space they made. And now both of them just wander around, going their best to avoid Cale and his group because that is not something they want to deal with. They also teach him memes.

This is really long give me a sec to do the other one jesus-

IF YOU WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS I WOULD WHOLEHEARTEDLY SUPPORT YOU! THIS IS SUCH A GOOD CONCEPT DFIGOASDGSFOGSFH

longass rant of my shtty and uncalled for opinions below hehe

with the reader insert ver, imagine they were in the same situation with rok soo. someone who was suppose to be born in the tboaf world but white star stole their body so they were stuck on earth 1. but the difference was that some fucky wucky happened and so they died earlier than their intended time. then more fucky wucky happened with their soul that's why now they're stuck with white star.

with the death part though... hmm i personally think that'll be difficult. since cale got the answer of how to kill white star from the world tree (i mean world tree can lie but lets be real, that poor guy is too scared of cheap stake fire to do that) and it's hard to escape jour's ancient power. so i can see them striking a deal with cale with the help of god of death. then after sg is sealed off they just go away to try and live their own life and avoid cale.

key word: try

~^~

now for the oc ver

FIRST OF ALL I LOVE HOW SHE'S JUST A DOKJA KINNIE? HELP? SDUTFOSGDHDFJ

i can see her acting very villainess-like and thats hawt lol

also i can imagine a scenario like this has happened at least once:

White Star is the one in control right now. He was just maximizing his time having full control of their shared body by ordering his subordinates about their next move and whatnot. "Yes, yes. That's how we'll do it. Hurry on to-" SLAP Who dared slap the almighty White Star like this- It was his own right hand that slap him... The last thing the poor White Star saw were the confuse stares of the nobles and commanders before he lost control of his whole body to Black Rock. "Sorry about that, I just realized how faulty our plan is and had to wake myself up. Now, now let's start again shall we? This time with a plan that will ensure us victory"

#le rants #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #tcf #lcf #cale henituse #lotcf #totcf #le asks #chit . chat . stuff #white star #lcf god of death #tcf god of death

[pumpkin-bread]

LAIR REVIEW! Drunk Version. For floralb0t

Hello hi folks here on FR tumblrverse I am NOT correctingmy typos and I’m a little tipsy with no outlet so THIS lovely person has paid me a whole egg to tlk about a carton’s worth of dragns.

LET’S GET TO IT.

Oh also btw I’ll hatch this eff after rollover tonight. You know, Jan 1st?

OKAY FOR REAL NOW

Okay this will be a bonus because it might.... be a sad thing. but pets are so important. They are our bes t friends and our dearest companions. I adore memorial ragonsthat keep the memory of our beloved pets alive. She’s wonderfin. Fuck I love calico cats. My first cat was a calico too

um now onwards

CLAN LEADER HOOOO and a goood one. You cannot go wron g with blacl/red/white. Classy. classic. Gorgeous.

She sounds like a real sweetheart. I enjoy clans that have thoughtful and caring drafsons as their heads. Unlike my lairs. Her apparel is nice and balanced.

KISSY FOR PRETTY SNAP

Oh dear lord. Her head for mnumbers and scheduls. Can I borrow her? Or her bain. I could ue that. chrisp.

It isn't the 'assassin' bit that people are unsure of, it's the 'ex'. 

I love tht line. Omg. Also I cannoy ignore a beauriful evil-looking SD. I lvoe the touhc about the possessed rok too. Very good dragon.

AAA LOOK AT ALL YOUR TWO LETTER NAMES

That’s some rare shit my friend

Here’s AE. Who looks like a beautiful, somehow intact ancient building in the middle of  vast rainforest, but also looks so fucking done with being in that fucking rainfrest. Amazzing. A guardsperson? Their shift is fucking over. Give bearak

.

I like ruin. Love an old swordswoman. Love severely. Her bio is sweet. I wish I hd a kinda love remotely like tht.

I see how hanas’ lore is being rewritten. But I love the cnce[pt. urn it Hana. Burn it all to the fuckng ground

ROR RO ROR RO another two letter. SO GOOD.

I like his lore too. Juuust rich enough to have picky choosy standards. if only wwr could all be so lucky. He’d probably never accpet a contarct from Amberspire I frickin tell ya

Your blurbs are realy good. give this man a crowd to love him. Fulfill his need.

OH MY GOD YOUHAVE A SUNNY AND LILAH BABY. MY SWEET GIRLS. THEY ARE SO HAPPY ONE OF THEIR CHILDREN IS STILL LOVED

//weeps.

BUT. That has nothing to do with her personal lore. What a lovel y caretaker, and so carefully regened too. This made me so happy.

Erulla now. I love her gumption. From a dancer who had to quit due to injurty to a custome

a costumer who makes her client feel beautiful. What a fantastic person she is. So very... what’s the word. Spirited will do. Unstppable.

oh my go d you have a lot of my grandbabies actually holy rhsir. my joy in seeing Besra and Marengo can’t be overstated but it feels like cheating to pick them. SO ON I GO

I really really really like Warpstorms little lore snippet. It coupled with her accent makes me imagine a cute but implaceably creepy girl who you know has someting weird going on but can’t say anything about becaise?? she’s just a ittle girl? play tea patry and ignore the voices ya?

Queen ofrot! Queen of Rot! It’s Namira! Resplendant and horrible. This G1 has SO much potential and I’m v excited to see what youdo.

Wait was that really twelve already wtf? Wow! Okay enjoy!!!

#flight rising #fr lair reviews #drunk lair review #dw I'm 3 #LOL 30!!

[leafeonb]

wait maybe i should continue watching dgs2

#lulu.txt #aa lb #dgs lb #i am 👁️_👁️ oh my godddd #THERE ISNT MUCH LEFT OF THE LAST VIDEO. help </3 theres like a little bit more than an hour left......... #also wait a moment theres still one thing im thinking about like. will no one ever know who iris dad was bc #it wasnt john watson ajdhshfjdjf there arent many options. what if iris dad was just a unnamed random dude #and thats it. end of dgs2. no more mysteries #BUT ALSO IM 😨😨😨😨 BC I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING YUUJIN SAID.....THAT MADE ME VERY WORRIED BUT #i kind of forgot about it. because there was so much stuff happening it was all so fast im AAAHHHHH #and now i just remembered it im......😨 bro. i wont think about it <3 i wont <3 i will just sit and see what happens #but ooohhh i should finish dgs2 😭😭😭😭 IM LIKE. if i finish it like in the afternoon then i wont stop thinking about it until i #go to sleep. i remember i actually finished dgs1 when i was already 'hm i should go to sleep' #but so much stuff was happening and i wanted to know what would happen next so much that i was just 'fuck it i will continue watching...' #and then i finished it when it was like 2 or 3am and then i just. fell asleep. my brain just turned off goodbye world i finished dgs1 #but im oohhhh my god.....oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭 i want to draw something but </3 what if i continued watching would that be fucked up or what #b*rok better die in the next one hour <3 #THE LAST THING I WATCHED WAS susato going 'omg naruhodou if kazuma heard ur words just now he would smile....wherever he is rn' #and then asougi was like RIGHT THERE and NOT SMILING AT ALL this is too funny 😭😭😭 i miss his smile so much *starts crying* #but also imagine ur ryuu and ur talking to susato about this and then u just turn around and asougi is there with this face → >:-( #SUSATO HES NOT SMILING....NOT EVEN A BIT 😭😭😭😭 #but also aagh im still thinking about what i want to draw for the dgs2 anniversary...i still want to finish the dgs1 anniversary art though #but. maybe i will change what i want to draw after finishing dgs2 but i have something in my mind and :-) #wait i cant finish watching rn bc its a bit noisy here......dgs2 can wait maybe i will draw something but #*thinks about dgs* bro WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT THE FUCK

[dalgiberryclouds]

I'm depressed from work so i'ma post a TYH headcanon where Jin Shim hijacks and sleeps in Jung Rok's hoodies when she stays over his place.

I kinda wish we got to see Jin Shim staying over Jung Rok's place for a change and then going out in a disguise in case of paparazzis.

#touch your heart #touch your heart headcanon #i imagine this would take place after kim se won has left jung rok's apartment #but it'd be funny too if se won was cooking his breakfast and #sees famous actress oh yoon seo come out of jung rok's room in one of his oversized hoodies on the way to the bathroom #hhhh

[ridiasfangirlings]

Yata got in a fight with someone and now that guy wants revenge. He plans to make Yata suffer and so has to find out Yata's weakness. He was able to kidnap one of Yata's part-time job co-worker and also Fushimi who was also there and got distracted trying to save the other guy. The co-worker just wants to leave and tries to provide what little info he has of Yata. Fushimi is struggling not to say anything cause he knows the other co-worker is wrong about the things he's saying about Misaki.

Imagine Yata’s coworker keeps giving up all this information while Fushimi is quietly sitting there with a running monologue in his head: “Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I can’t believe this idiot doesn’t even know Misaki’s height to the nearest centimeter. Wrong.” Imagine this post-ROK and some random Strain is trying to get revenge on Homra for defeating their gang. Yata was the point person for that particular mission and so the guy has focused all their attention on him, but at the same time the Strain isn’t that strong and wouldn’t be able to defeat someone like Yata on his own. The guy gets the idea to try and “find out Yata Misaki’s weakness,” like if he gathers enough information surely he can get his revenge. 

He decides to kidnap one of Yata’s coworkers, figuring he can get a lot of information that way. He waits until Yata’s gone on lunch and then attacks the place. As it happens Fushimi was supposed to meet Yata for lunch but got delayed by a S4 incident and he was coming to look for Yata at the store, so he’s present when this attack happens. Fushimi also happens to be off for the rest of the day, so he’s in casual clothes. Of course normally Fushimi could take the Strain down easily but say Yata’s coworker sees him and thinks like oh no that skinny nerd is in danger I need to get him out of the store, getting in Fushimi’s way when Fushimi tries to draw a knife. As a consequence the Strain is able to capture them both, taking Fushimi more as a ‘can’t leave any witnesses behind’ bonus.

Fushimi and Yata’s coworker are taken to some warehouse and imagine the poor innocent coworker is freaking out because why did he get kidnapped by some guy asking about Yata Misaki, is Yata really in the yakuza or something. The Strain basically ignores Fushimi, who is busily pulling a knife from his sleeve and quietly cutting through the ropes tying him to a chair. The Strain starts questioning the coworker, like I need to know all about Yata Misaki. First the Strain decides to try and focus on any relationship Yata might have, like maybe he has a girlfriend that can be exploited. The coworker says Yata’s always stuttering and running away whenever a woman walks in so he’s probably got a girlfriend he’s really devoted to, Fushimi rolls his eyes and thinks ‘no that’s just because he’s a huge virgin.’

The Strain keeps asking, like okay does he go out on a lot of dates. The coworker says Yata leaves early sometimes and says he’s going to a bar so maybe Yata’s into bar hopping (Fushimi thinks ‘that’s just when he’s going to Homra or meeting me’). When asked if Yata has any family the coworker says he’s seen Yata with a little girl with white hair, maybe she’s his illegitimate child (Fushimi almost breaks his cover laughing, thinking the Strain has a death wish if he decides to go after Anna). Also the guy once saw Yata talking to a blonde with huge boobs but he looked too freaked out by her to be dating her, maybe an older sister (Fushimi quietly clicks his tongue, Awashima must have been looking for him). The guy says he doesn’t think Yata has many friends, since he’s so loud and kinda annoying (Fushimi’s fingers twitch on the knife, his brain moving a mile a minute as he’s like Misaki has so many friends he’s uselessly friendly it’s so ridiculous, he only needs me but he smiles at everyone so everyone likes him, how stupid are you not to notice how many friends he has). 

This is about the time Fushimi cuts through his bonds and throws a few knives at the Strain just as Yata suddenly breaks into the room all worried because how dare this guy kidnap Saruhiko and also his coworker. As it turns out Fushimi also alerted S4 after being captured and they tracked his PDA, Awashima let Yata know so he insisted on going in first to help Saruhiko and that other guy too. The Strain sees Yata mostly ignoring his coworker in order to check on Fushimi and wonders where his plan all went wrong, like wait did I just kidnap some stranger and that skinny guy was Yata’s actual coworker, is that it.

#sarumi #Talking K #just imagine Fushimi's internal monologue #like 'wrong. wrong. wrong.' #he knows everything about Misaki and this coworker knows nothing #Fushimi is disgusted by the lack of Misaki knowledge

[elderflowergin]

Hello Gin-nim. Since many people are discovering Beyond Evil for the first time I was wondering if you could tell us your thoughts about the show? It seems you didn't like it and I am leaning towards agreeing with those who have criticised the show.

Hi Anon!

It's true - I didn't like it that much! I know lots of people enjoyed it. Full disclosure: it's been a few months since I've watched it, so as Queen Betty says: "recollections may vary":-

I think my first roadblock with Beyond Evil was the sheer awfulness of the violence against women, and the ways in which old, hoary tropes about women kept getting used and reused. A perfect girl dies horribly. A kid (a kid!!) who loves the nightlife and the occasional male company as her only escape from an incredibly shitty home life also dies horribly. When you think they've suffered enough, you are made to learn that their deaths were even more horrifying than you initially imagined. (TVN Signal had this quality too in a couple of its arcs, but maybe there was a first mover advantage that show had that Beyond Evil didn't, and I think it helped that it was a woman who led the team solving those crimes in that show.)

I think - and I mean this across media everywhere - there's a point when violence against women in the narrative takes on a voyeuristic quality. I think it did on this show on a way it didn't in Signal. Maybe it helped that the leads in Signal suffered their own, private pains, unrelated to the dead women around them; Beyond Evil doesn't offer that distance, and all I could see was male pain being centred in a show that is about dead women, rather a lot of them, some of whom are dead because of the men whose pain we have to witness.

I could have seen past the violence if the team was fun to watch, but I was not - and I'm going to commit blasphemy here - very invested in them. Shin Ha-kyun and Yeo Jin-goo are great actors, but I think their chemistry either works for you or it doesn't, and going by the general reaction to the show, it did work for a lot of people! Total YMMV moment, for sure.

There were some characters and things that worked splendidly for me: the whole of Yoo Jae-yi's arc, for starters, altogether the most painful part of the show for me. All she has is a butcher shop and rumours that her mom ran away from home. In her flashback, she's shown walking around shady Busan motels in her school uniform, hoping for a glimpse of her mother. It got the point of this lack of closure and inchoate loss across without showing any explicit violence (I think? It's been a while since I watched!). Choi Sung-eun is a babe and a star, and I'm looking forward to whatever she does next.

The musical motif of If I Go To Busan was truly gutting, and conveyed the melancholy, the unending grief and the lack of closure felt by the entire town in a way body parts and gratuitous violence could not.

Some of the actors were truly excellent - Chun Ho-jin, reliably lovely in this paternal role he's taken over his substation; Kim Shin-rok, who's great as Oh Ji-hwa, and Choi Dae-hoon, stellar as Park Jeong-je. CDH in particular is really good at playing someone who's trying very hard to live in the present and is continually haunted by something he can't grasp or understand. Gil Hae-yeon is distinctly terrifying in this, like someone took her awful mom role from Something In The Rain and twisted the screws.

I felt like I could have watched a show focused entirely on Manyang and the way it copes and grapples with suppressed grief and a lack of closure; I could have also watched a mother/son interplay between Park Jeong-je and the Councilwoman, or a show that centred Oh Ji-hwa uncovering this mystery herself.

Hope that answered your question, Anon! Thanks for asking!

(If anyone's in the mood for a Park Jeong-je special, please dive into Deer Heart by the brilliant wordsmith @drivingsideways (please heed the tags and warnings!!)

#gin text posts #of all the gin joints in the world

[drivingsideways]

Hey talk to me about your top three favourite kdrama women. What makes them special? What's a fic you would like to write about any one of them?

Mystery anon! :D What a lovely ask. 

I’m going to cheat a bit and divide my answer into characters I loved a lot, but do not want to write fic about, because I think the canon gives me what I need; and characters that I loved a lot but NEED TO BE RESCUED ZOMG.  (My fic writing impulses are 50% spite and 50% fix-it )

Caveat being that I’ve still watched only maybe a dozen kdramas, so I’m pretty limited in my knowledge!

Characters that I love a lot, but have very zero fic impulses toward:

Han Yeo-jin from Stranger/Secret Forest: What a delight! What an iconique character! Is there anyone like her? NO. LSY-nim gives us a delightfully complex character, and Bae Doona knocks it out of the park in every single scene, so I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I think what makes Yeo-jin special for me is the intrinsic place of empathy that she operates from.  I think “righteous” is a word that often comes with negative connotations (self-righteous, for eg), but I do think she’s one of the most righteous-in-the-good-way characters I’ve watched in kdrama or any drama. I’m tired of stories that portray goodness as “boring” , as unworthy of narrative breadth or depth, and I love that Han Yeo-jin comes to us like a breath of fresh air in our particular dystopian narratives hellscape. She’s good, but never naive. She’s righteous but never cruel in her moral certainties.  I think that LSY nim, in the second season especially, gave Yeo-jin the kind of arc that character deserved when she’s forced to really dig deep into herself to figure out how she’s going to live in the world in the face of a deeply cutting, deeply personal disillusionment, and I’m really hoping for an S3 to see how that plays out further. 

Goo Hae-ryung from Rookie Historian: Ok, I will admit this may be rose tinted glasses view due to this show being my gateway drug into kdrama, but c’mon! She’s a reader! and a Thinker! And loves her wine! She’s plucky! She’s cute! She’s got a wry sense of humour! She’s got principles! She’s got a solid common sense to her that somehow doesn’t get in the way of her dreaming BIG! Oh dear, doesn’t she sound like the Mary-est of Mary Sues? Good for her.gif,  I say! Anyways, Shin Se-kyung is unutterably charming in this (AS IN EVERY SHOW OMG GIRL) and I just have a huge fondness for free-spirited heroines who get to tramp through the narrative changing the world as they do! 

Lee Ji-an from My Ahjussi: I’ve never had my heart broken more OR restored by any single character. IU is *phenomenal * in this, I think she really stepped up to what the script demanded from her. Ji-an’s weariness, her fear and vulnerability, her prickliness, her anger and her bitterness, and how, despite everything, she fights : GOD. Just. Again, what I love about the writing in this show is that it’s deeply empathetic without being cloyingly sentimental. I think a less, hmm, imaginative writer/PD might have focused on the Lee Ji-an the victim, and while the show definitely tells you in no uncertain terms that she is one,  of both circumstances and a cruel society, I think it refuses to take away her agency over her own life.(Lee Ji-an when we meet her is too busy hanging onto life by tooth and claw to indulge in self-pity, but we also see the toll it takes on her not to be able to say “this is too heavy a burden for me to carry myself and it isn’t my fault”; the show I think approaches Dong-hoon from the opposite side- his emotional isolation is partly a result of his own choices, but he doesn’t see it yet, and so his journey is also about letting people in and sharing the burden, but also recovering his own agency over his life. It’s an interestingly gender-bent arc, which is one of the things I love about this show. )

Ok, can I please add one more?

Hwang Han-joo from Melo is my Nature: She just felt SO real to me. She’s someone who doesn’t have the spectacular brilliance of either Jin-joo or Eun-jung, and struggles with accepting her limitations but not allowing herself to be defeated by them? I love her struggles as a mother, as a working woman in a sexist industry, a woman who’s perhaps having to rethink and reimagine what she wants from romance. I love that she’s a little silly, a lot kind, and an optimist, and just. I just think she’s the bravest of the three, tbh, and I LOVE HER AND I WOULD WATCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT JUST HER (i shouldn’t have faves among the three i know, BUT I DO, IT’S HER, IT’S HER.)

Ok! On to the next section! And I’m going to cheat again because I can’t stop at three. SORRY. NOT SORRY. 

Characters I love and SHOULD write fic for if I weren’t such a tired and lazy bunny:  

Song Sa-hui from Rookie Historian: Oh, girl, girl, GIRL. I love how she fights to snatch her freedom from the jaws of the patriarchy. I love that she unapologetically centers herself while doing that, because she knows that nobody else will.  I love that she’s prickly and calculating. I love that she’s smart and knowledgeable. I am SO HAPPY that she got to carve out a little bit of freedom for herself, even if it also is exile to some degree. She *should * be Emperor Jin’s Prime Minister and steering the ship of state, while also carrying on a tumultous affair with Queen Min Woo-hee, while ALSO commiserating with Emperor Jin about his boyfriend Historian Min Woo-won’s regrettable tendency towards Principles (TM) and masochism-but-not-in-the-fun-way. (This takes up much of his time which is why Song Sa-hui is running the country, of course. It works out well for all concerned, well, except her dad, of course.)

Song Ga-gyeong from Search:WWW: What’s NOT to love about our brilliant, beautiful, emotionally tortured gay icon? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I loved how the show allowed her to be flawed and make bad decisions, and then allowed her to make better decisions and regain control of her life. What I do need to do, of course, is see the CANON LOVE STORY between her and Cha Hyeon through to the end. It must, of course, include at least one baseball game, a lot of tequila and messy beach kisses. 

Oh Ji-hwa from Beyond Evil: Oh boy, this year’s runaway hit cleared the extremely low bar for standard crime/ thriller shows by leaving more than one of its female characters breathing and with all limbs intact, and got called feminist for it BUT it didn’t do justice to any of them in any meaningful way and that never hurt more than in the way they sidelined Kim Shin-rok’s talent by not giving Oh Ji-hwa anything much to do. She’s a tough as nails cop, a loving sister, a devoted but unsentimental friend-and by rights SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE HEROINE OF THIS SHOW. My secret fic fantasy is to rewrite the show entirely by making her , and the two other female characters in non-antagonist roles- Yoo Jae-yi and Im Sun-nyeo- as the central characters, as they investigate a serial killer who targets women.  It’s the only acceptable version of this done-to-death (ha!) genre, I have no idea what the Baeksang jury and tumblr fandom is smoking when they hype the show so much, I want none of it. 

Jung Sun-ah from The Devil Judge: I love her rage, her spite, her passionate defense of women, her style, her sexiness, her rage, her rage, her brilliance, her tenaciousness, her smartness, her clothes, her refusal to hate herself for everything she is and chooses to be, her ambition, her comfort wielding power, her EVERYTHING. Dead, her? NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. Here’s what *really * happened at the end of canon- she gets out of the building by planting that lady-like but still deadly gun against Kang Yo-han’s temple and making him lead her through his own “secret escape route” or whatever the fuck it was the show wanted us to believe. From there on out, it’s all sunshine and beaches, and scheming and waiting for the right moment to strike again-though of course, this time around, she also has to reckon with vigilant, tenacious cop Soo-hyun -another character who REALLY didn’t die for manpain reasons and had the good sense to leave her gay best friend to follow his psychopath boyfriend to Switzerland or wherever it is that star crossed lovers in kdrama land meet up on the regs these days- anyways, Soo-hyun and her are in this catch-me-if-you-can epic transnational honest and cute cop-and-beautiful sexy villain chase and yes, they WILL kiss (and more) AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. 

*whew *

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

#kdrama #thank you for this ask OMG #[fiona apple voice] ladies ladies ladies ladies

[sadviper]

hi, I love your stories! I'm new to the my country fandom, but I love your seonho sungrok universe. do you think seonho might be an unreliable narrator? i know he's not the main protagonist on the show, but i do think his worldview may be warped by his father's abuse. i haven't seen much discussion about him growing up in an abusive home and how it may influence his decision making and life choices?

Hiii, thank you so very much! <3 Welcome to the fandom, and esp welcome to the tiny niche of Seon-ho & Sung-rok!

As for your question, I can't imagine a MCTNA fan who *doesn't* recognize how warped Seon-ho became from Nam Jeon's exceptional parenting style. If we're not saying anything about it, it's probably because we're all busy trying to write the fix-it of all Fix-its that will rescue his poor tormented soul. ;__;

If you read all my fics, you probably picked up on how I think Seon-ho is a big fat liar--lying to Hwi all the time (I hate you! really! don't show your face to me again! oh, and Yeon's dead btw), to Yeon (I'm your brother!), to his dad (yeah, I'll take care of Hwi. And I'll kill you too!! Destroy your kingdom and kill youuuu), to everyone (I did all the bad things. only me.) etc etc. rinse repeat. But definitely, he lies to himself most of all, that he's not worth anything and doesn't deserve any good in this world.

However, whatever sense and consistency he lacks in his words, his actions, on the other hand, are clear as day. Everything he does stems from two motivations: (1) protect those he loves (2) in a way that can be construed as awful as possible. #2 is definitely Nam Jeon's fault-- hammering into Seon-ho's otherwise warm heart that the only way to get what you want from the world is through fear and force. On top of that, feudal Korea and attitudes towards Seon-ho's ambiguous social status only reinforced his generally destructive tendencies.

So yes, Seon-ho is definitely an unreliable narrator! I may not write him that way in my stories since I've never tried that style of storytelling before, but I definitely keep all the things you mentioned in mind when I do write.

I'd also argue that Seon-ho definitely is a main protagonist in the show; the tortured and prolonged love-hate bromance, sun-moon symbolism, red-blue typecasts--that can't happen with Hwi alone! But since Hwi didn't do anything for me after the beginning episodes, I will just keep Seon-ho as my #1. <3 Thank you for the ask!

#asks #my country the new age #mctna

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Climbing

Just a little something quick and funny for everyone this Tuesday morning. 

The desert planet was warm, as most desert planets are, but despite the dry heat, it was hardly comparable to an earth desert which could quickly take your life in under a day if you weren't careful. Honestly, he would have compared the weather to that of the Rockies in early August. Maybe 81 degrees tops.

The ground below their feet was covered by a strange purple sand, and the sky above was a dusky orange to match the orange rocks that lifted themselves high into the sky. There was no wind, which would have been a good thing, he imagined that the sandstorms here could be quite devastating. Despite the heat, or rather, lack of it in his opinion, the others weren’t doing so great. 

When he said others he meant their non-human counterparts, the humans were fine. This temperature was at the higher end of Krill’s comfort scale despite him being a creature that photosynthesized light. Sunny looked downright uncomfortable, which made sense her planet was comfortably tropical when it came to climate, and sky ash kept the sun from hitting the ground on most days out of the year.

The three of them and a group of marines were led across a thin dessert and up towards a small outcropping of orange cliffs. Commander Vir kept his eyes wide scanning the surroundings. One might have assumed he was looking for threats, and to the watching aliens, that’s exactly what it looked like. However, he was honestly just wishing he had thought to bring a camera. In that case he was going to have to attempt and draw this landscape later, not that he was all that great as an artist, but he was at least possible enough to make his ideas known.

Internally he was kicking himself.

By the time they reached the foot of the hills, Krill was lagging behind, and one of the marines had dropped back with an umbrella helpfully casting a shadow over the small figure. Sunny stood at his back like she always did. He doubted there was anything that could make her leave his side even if it meant hurting herself to do it, so he slowed his pace.

“Commander Vir, thank Sanctum’s rings you’re here.”

He stopped atop a bare patch of orange rock and bowed, “Councilor.”

The rundi woman adjusted her black robes and turned to look back towards the outcropping of rocks. Commander Vir could hear it now, a small voice shrill and defiant throwing curses at the gathered assembly members and their accompanying guard.

“What’s going on.” He wondered. Upon hearing his question, the assemblywoman motioned over one of the other delegates, the Gibb representative, who was looking both embarrassed and exasperated. Commander Vir could understand why, the Gibb must have had a hard few months with his countryman (the scientist) going off his rocker and capturing an entire prison only to experiment brutally on it’s inmates. Tensions were a bight tight between his species, and those from Earth and Mars. Commander Vir knew enough not to totally blame them. Their species were known for the commonality of mental instability, delusions, and psychotic breaks.

Statistically it wasn’t that common, but it was more common than it was even with humans, who were known to be highly mentally unstable.

“I am afraid,  the second Gibb representative, other than I, has experienced the reduction.” The Gibb’s five spidery eyes stared on glassily at the commander as he continued, “Usually we would just let him go quietly to return home in peace, but those circumstances remain difficult when his delusions have convinced him that he is a mighty warlord and we are his enemy. Even that would not be so much of an issue, but he has found himself  an impenetrable fortress.

Commander Vir was almost 100% sure that was exaggerated, but decided to keep his mouth shut first asking to SEE what the situation was before proceeding.

They walked up on the scene to the equivalent of maniacal laughter. He craned his neck upwards at the rock face.

“Look at you, you WORMS! You cannot DEFEAT ME!” 

He could finally see what the issue was now. The Gibb’s little fortress didn’t appear to have any doors that he could see. The only opening was at least fifty feet up the rock and about two feet by three feet. A hover craft wouldn’t be able to come near the hole as it wouldn’t be able to squeeze into the space between the rocks. Going in from above was also not an option since the cliff face rose to at least 100 feet in the air above that and was too rounded at the top to land a craft.

“See my impenetrable walls!” The gibb yelled, “Even against you humans I-”

“Are you kidding me!”

The gibb looked down in annoyance to being cut off. The entire delegation turned to look at the human standing with his arms crossed one eyebrow raised clearly unimpressed.

“You think you can challenge me human!” 

Behind him a few of the marines stood smiling clearly on the same wavelength as their captain, “I… well it’s not a challenge, but I’m seriously asking…. Are you serious?”

The gibb looked quite confused now, “I AM the end!”

“Well ok, sure you are.” The human said voice slightly exasperated as if he was talking to a small child, “In that case does The End or the lord of the rock face have any idea what a primate is?”

Seeing the confusion, the captain continued taking a seat on a rock as he began to unlace his boot, “Humans are primates, and so are monkeys. We share a common ancestor that lived in trees.” He flexed his fingers at the Gibb, “See these, hands used for gripping onto branches…. For climbing specifically.” He set his boot to the side, and the other marines began  following his lead rolling up their pant legs and lining up their combat boots in a neat row on the ground.

The commander lifted his foot, “See these, they are the exact same thing as hands, accept evolved for running. We used to use them to swing through trees.” He flexed his foot and wiggled his toes causing a murmur to rise up from the crowd, “I can pick up things with my feet.” He rolled up his pant leg, “So Here is what I am going to do. I am going to use my magic powers of hands and feet and drag your idiot ass back down here faster than you can say, oh yeah I probably should have known that humans were originally evolved to live in trees.”

Without prompting, the other humans came to join him at the base of the wall. Above them, the Gibb was spluttering angrily while the rest of the delegation looked on in mild interest. 

“But you CAN:T humans can already swim and run, you cant ALSO climb.”

The human didn’t bother to look up, instead reaching down to rub some of the purple dirt into his palms, “Don’t suppose you've heard the song. I can do what you can do but I can do it better? No, well same premise, I can run, I can swim, I can jump, with a little help I can fly, but since I forgot my jetpack at home, I may as well as show off some natural selection.”

The alien delegation watched in interest as the human gripped onto his first rok, and by an excellent show of strength, hauled himself up the wall. His other hand followed, as did his other two feet. The toes of his right foot probed the rock face gripping onto minute ledges in the stone just as his fingers did. The prosthetic, Drev-designed, foot struggled, but he made good time up the first few yards. 

A team of the marines went with him. A few of them scuttling up the wall like spiders.

At about 20 feet the assent grew more difficult, and it seemed as if there was no way to go, but the humans didn’t seem bothered. Gripping onto ledges and protrusions, despite taking longer to think their path through. Commander Vir had fallen behind struggling with his non-human leg.

Eventually he simply gave a curse, and a small blade snapped from the toe of the prosthetic.

He drew his leg back and slammed it into the stone soon overtaking the other maines as he was able to place a foothold wherever he pleased.

“That's hardly fair.” Ramirez muttered.

“Oh yes Ramirez, I am so sorry you have all of your legs. Let me cry for you.” The Commander muttered sarcastically as he clambered up the wall.

“That’s cheating.” Another human called

“No, I’m just evening the playing field for a cripple.” 

The council members below looked on in wonder and amazement as the humans, somehow, clambered their way up a vertical face speaking normally with each other as they did. As always, the leader of the humans seemed to have no concept that he was crippled.

Above the Gibb had gone quiet sinking further back into his hole.

The humans all made it to the top safely, and rather smugly, and with their superior strength, what little fight the Gibb could put up was lacing and rather pathetic. Two of the humans rigged up a rope to a steel hook driven into the stone, and the commander himself picked up the gibb under one arm like a troublesome child. From there, each of the humans clambered easily down the rope as if they were simply walking. Some of them chose to slide straight down, while others simply walked backwards down the face of the wall using the rope to support themselves at a horizontal.

Commander Vir only required the use of a single arm as he made his descent. And dumped the Gibb on the ground at the feet of the council rubbing purple dirt from his hands. He nodded to the council, and then just simply walked away nonchalantly to recover his shoes. 

The council thought it might be a good idea not to tell the humans how long they had been there trying to come up with an idea. 

It would probably be prudent to keep this little fiasco unknown to the public. If people knew that it had taken a one legged human, and his strange hand feet thirty minutes to do what the council had failed to do in days, than there might be some questions raised about their own effectiveness. 

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