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endlesspaint · 25 days

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"I had to save them"

Rest in peace, Liam. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten. 😔✊

I finally finished this, YAY! This animatic is a mix of digital and traditional art. I definitely learned a lot of tricks while making this (also, can you notice the slight difference between art styles??).

This animatic singlehandedly explains what happened to JD after his mom sacrificed him. He was definitely ready to accept his faith until he discovered Branch's was with him (which almost gave him a panic attack). It was a good thing that everyone decided to help him, and Liam (a troll around his age, maybe older?) helped him escape.

For more context about my au check this post!

I obviously don't own the audio, only the animatic. "Bruno is Orange" by Hop Along featuring Francis Quinlan, so credits to them. Here's the link

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laidenbreecatchall · 4 months

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I have a folder on Pinterest called “why do they look like that” full of official one piece art where they’re just… in atrocious outfits. And I’ve been wanting to draw them so so bad so here the first of hopefully a few! Starting with the notorious nerd ass Law. I wanted to make it more him and see if it was really so bad. It’s not! He’s cute! (Click for quality cause tumblr said “No.” )

Original undercut.

He looks absolutely ridiculous, I love it.

#one piece #trafalgar law #my art #ryeart #art #trafalgar d water law #Trafalgar d Lawrence #< not my joke but I can’t get it out of my head it kills me #also I was so dissatisfied with this piece and then I looked at the original and was like…. no maybe it’s okay….#I still think I over worked it but whatever #here he is I’m DONE #It might be one of those where I like the initial sketch more than the final result #I just checked I do 😔#initial sketch law you were so soft why did me coloring you make you like this #oh well #enjoy regardless

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months

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The most terrifying creature of all

[First] Prev <--> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan jingyi #lan sizhui #ouyang zizhen #nameless red disciple #Absolutely none of these people should ever be allowed in a haunted house #Except maybe LSZ #The juniors would either 1) Cry 2) punch one of the staff 3) pee a little bit 4) break something in fear. Dreadful patrons.#and they are supposed to be in training for dealing with the supernatural too! SMH!#I did enjoy drawing them cuddled up though B*)#WWX is banned from haunted houses too because he tries to get himself involved as one of the scare-ers. Which is a violation of union code #He's 'trying to make the experience more enriching' but in reality he just likes to get a reaction out of people.#Truly a guy you go to a corn maze with only to get separated from him.#And when you do find him he's face down what looks like his own blood #As you try and check to see if he's okay he suddenly grabs your ankles and starts spitting lines from the exorcist #Then laughs when you scream #Truly a guy who is NOT getting a second date #Next episode features something very very scary. Universally so.#a t-t-t-teen girl.#LJY is curled up on the ground btw. Joining the JC sock puppet that has also been just out of sight this entire time

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candicewright · 7 months

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Judgement

#pathologic #мор утопия #my art #i don't really love this but i saw people really enjoyed the sketch so i did my best to get it looking okay #maybe i'll even return to it and make it better #the angels are inspired both by the plage clouds from patho classic as well as daniil's description in p2

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luck-of-the-drawings · 1 month

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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]

REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #cw flashing lights #LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness #LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it #BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS #WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON #PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.

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glitterghost · 3 months

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Belle (2023) 🌹

#belle 2023 #max gold #iceland #listen i just want to talk abt this for a second #i watched belle recently and yes it is a take on beauty and the beast #and yes it had so much more potential than it delivered BUT #im not mad at it at all?#i enjoyed it and it the scenery? stab my through the heart with that beautiful landscape #also it just feels like a quiet movie if that makes sense?#its got this like subtle quality to it and idk how to explain it #i wanted more and things could have been MORE but im sitting here making a post about it bc i cant find anything else on here about it #its classified as horror and im not 100% torn on that label for it but i get why they did that #anyway if you want a slightly darker/grittier take on the story then maybe give this one a shot?#and really its just so pretty to look at #and there are no fix it type fics to make it the more i want but thats okay i am okay #movies

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boltgunkiller-archive · 3 months

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s3 of glee is good when you like ignore everything

#i think straight up the only ep i like completely #is heart (3x13)#like. i can’t think of anything particularly bad about it atm #and dance with somebody i guess? maybe? shit i don’t remember much #oh & nationals + graduation #tho i do have issues with what rm did with finn in graduation mostly because it makes me Sad #hmmm. i’m really trying to think #there are bits and pieces of each episode that i like #but i feel like it was just so mean most of the time?!??#i guess i also like michael now that i’m thinking of it #hm okay not too bad i guess #as mean as s3 is i favor it HEAVILY over s4 and s5. like i still can enjoy s3 #just block out the bad stuff and it doesn’t suck #😞 i wish i could’ve been in that damn writer’s room cause it’s their SENIOR year there’s sm to work with #that wasn’t worked with!!! damn!!!#gleeposting #there’s my dose of negativity for the day amen

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cookinary · 3 days

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Okay, I get it now

Thanks @mileikcin for making me curious about this game like god damn I've been missing out

#Sayonara Wild Hearts #THIS GAME IS SO MUCH FUN???#DAMN #AND the OST slaps???#how did I not play this earlier holy shit #some of my reactions including but not limited to:#''BROOO HOHOHOHO'' *mad laughter intensifies under insane good times*#''Oh so it's like Audiosurf all over again''#''THIS IS NOT LIKE AUDIOSURF ALL OVER AGAIN''#''I'VE PLAYED JUST SHAPES AND BEATS YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON M—'' *dies* ''Okay maybe you do get something on me''#''I'VE PLAYED HI-FI RUSH YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME'' *misses QTE* ''FUCK!!''#''What the fuuuuuuuuuck''#''THIS GAME IS NOT COMPATIBLE WITH MY ATTENTION SPAN''#''NO MAGICIAN I REFUSE TO SKIP THIS BIT STFU I WILL STRUGGLE BUT MAKE IT THROUGH''#''YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MY BRAIN PLEASE''#''C'mon smooch the dragon. Can we smooch the dragon? WE CAN SMOOCH THE DRAGON 10/10''#also The Fool is super cute #might add her to my list of cosplays i wanna do #after Chai and Beheaded #Yeah I'm gonna enjoy replaying this game every so often #fave boss are the Howling Moons btw #insane

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mobbothetrue · 5 months

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Spotify prompt! Knuckles and tails, an 19 :)

Oh hoho! You managed to land FightSong by EVE (<- YouTube link), a song that by all rights shoulda been #2 (<- I refuse to pay Spotify money).

Hmm…. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything with Super Sonic Speed, but I always did intend to write follow-ups…

.•.•.•.

The city is unbelievably loud. They’re in what Sonic had called a shopping district, and it’s apparently very popular. Knuckles would kind of like to go home, a lot, actually, but Tails is flirting from one shop to another and he doesn’t have it in him to shut the kid down. Sonic is somewhere on the periphery of their little group— he and Tails had bonded, thick as thieves, and Knuckles— well, he tolerated the guy.

Tails gasps like he’s seeing the sun rise for the first time, excited enough that he’s lifting off the ground. Knuckles ambles over, grabs him by the ankle, and pulls him back down. He’s looking at some sort of… thing. Knuckles can’t make heads or tails of it, but it’s definitely saying something to Tails.

Hmm. He is, at least, familiar with the idea of shops. Chao liked to set them up, sometimes, selling fruit or handmade crafts for rings, but Knuckles has no idea if their idea of currency and everyone else’s aligns. Would the shopkeep accept a fruit? Most chao did. It isn’t like rings are a problem, so…

Knuckles turns, seeking out Sonic in the crowd. There he is— stiff as anything, glancing frantically back and forth between Knuckles and some other hedgehog, a pink one. One of his friends, maybe? They look irritated, maybe not. Knuckles steps away from Tails, invites himself into their conversation.

“and you just RAN OFF—“ the hedgehog is shouting. Sonic cracks his mouth open, a faint wheeze escaping.

“Hey,” Knuckles says.

“—do you have ANY IDEA how WORRIED I was—“

This looks like a battle Sonic is better off fighting on his own. Still, Knuckles needs his question answered. “Hey,” he repeats, slightly louder.

“—I mean, I knew you were alright because my cards said so, but—“

“Hey Knuckles,” Sonic manages to crack out, “this is Amy.”

Amy tilts her head at him, and then gives him a sharp, discerning once-over. “Are you one of his other friends?” She asks.

“Yeah, sure,” Knuckles says, and then “do rings work as currency down here?”

She blinks at him, as if this is a weird thing to ask. “Yes?” She says.

“Okay,” Knuckles says, nodding, “try not to scare him too bad.”

Any lingering confusion evaporates, and she whirls around to find Sonic trying to sneak away. “AGAIN!” she shouts, full of conviction, and Knuckles makes his way back to where he left Tails. He isn’t pressed up against the glass anymore, so Knuckles steps into the store. Yeah, there he is. Hovering— literally— over the same display.

Knuckles takes a moment to properly observe, rooting around for the terms Tails would use, in an attempt to ensure he gets the right thing. There’s a looping track, and a few other gadgets on the sides. A switch, one of them looks like, and some barricade, and a few blinking lights. On the track itself is a… sideways cylinder, set on wheels, connected to a few boxes, puffing out smoke— or steam, maybe. Tails is absorbed enough in watching it chug along that he doesn’t even realize Knuckles is standing right next to him. Knuckles’ll just have to make sure he comes up for air, occasionally.

He casts about the rest of the store, vaguely lost. There are a lot of displays, and a lot of colourful boxes. Knuckles picks up one, flips it over, and realizes swiftly he is out of his depth. He brings the box over to Tails, handing it to him. Tails holds onto it for a full few seconds, watching with bated breath as the cylinder switches tracks, before he looks down. His fur all along his spine puffs up, and he turns to look at Knuckles so fast he has to wonder if Sonic hasn’t started to rub off on him in more ways than one. That’s the right box, for sure.

“Really?” Tails asks, voice breathy with excitement, and Knuckles ruffles his fur instinctually.

“‘Course.”

Maybe the shopping district isn’t that bad.

#eggthew #prompt fill #askbox #uhhh so. I kind of barely followed fightsong at all I CAN EXPLAIN #went off the visuals instead of the lyrics. two people running around in city. ooh I could do knuckles protecting tails from Eggman in some #kind of egg city! ah hang on there’s the eggperial city arc in idw and I haven’t read that yet. so I’m not confident in portraying it. hmmm #I could do a Different egg city… man Knuckles and Tails. what a great pair. I really enjoyed writing them in super sonic speed. hey! I could #do super sonic speed’s Knuckles’s first time in a city! maybe he gets kind of freaked out? escape from the city haha #well tails would be familiar with cities. and sonic would be there ofc but I’ll shuffle him off to the side so he doesn’t hog the spotlight #I could do tails looking at a shop! yeah! and knuckles needs to ask how currency works but sonic is… busy? hmm. oh! a city!!!! amy lives in #a city!! she runs into sonic! which keeps him from coming back over with knuckles. I always did mean to write her reunion with sonic.#that’ll be nice to do. alright. perfect. it’s all working out. get to the final few lines. think ‘hey how did I end up with this anyway.’#pulse of adrenaline as my brain goes OH YEAH FIGHTSONG. ach.#I’m happy w this though :)#knuckles: I Tolerate sonic. at best.#sonic: hey I am in a vaguely uncomfortable situation #knuckles *rolling up metaphorical sleeves*: do I need to kick ass #Amy making a mental note: sonic apparently befriending a space alien okay okay cool #they meet up for ice cream. knuckles is inflicted with curse of immediate brainfreeze. tails is So Excited about his new model train set #within a week he mods it to A) be strong enough to pull the Master Emerald and B) be armed.

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kyuala · 7 months

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hmm

#having Thoughts that maybe i shouldnt be having #so i have a friend who's handsome hot nice kind sweet funny etc he's like the whole package #yesterday one of our friends told him i didnt have his contact saved on my phone and we (jokingly) made a whole thing out of it #so he took the convo from our gc to our private messages to let me know he had mine saved WITH A SUNFLOWER EMOJI NEXT TO MY NAME #bc ATTENTION according to him i am little flower and im radiant like the sun so = sunflower #like 🥹🥹🥹🥹❓❓❓❓#n then he told me i didnt have to change my pfp bc i alr looked pretty in it then he called me his love and today #we're all going to a party our friends' cheerleading squad is hosting right and he won't go bc he'll be busy that day #i was moping in the gc bc i wanted the promotional prices (im the only one who doesnt go to their uni n non student prices r higher) and #they weren't available anymore so he messaged me to tell me he'd help me go?? i said how he said he'd pay me the difference i was like 💀#so i said okay it's only like 10 bucks and he sent me 20 like hello? i know this doesnt sound like much but we're all broke college students #so like? why did he do it #he said if he wasn't able to go he'd like to at least help me go then sent me extra w a cute little message telling me to enjoy the party #and have fun and calling me a sweet pet name now im like . Confused #bottom line is idk if he's flirting and i probably won't bc a) he's already said he doesnt know to make a move on pretty girls and b) here's #the catch: we have a mutual friend who confessed to me like 3? months ago. i turned her down for a number of reasons n i also knew they had #hooked up before so when i said no ig they started hooking up/going out again? and i wasnt fully aware of that until like. last month #and prior to that i hit on him at a party at our friend's house and all he did was stand there kinda speechless 💀#so i took it as a no n moved on but now idk if its bc like. he was alr w her or he just got shy or if he actually just didnt want it at all #and im just imagining things. and circling back to it: i guess i wont find out bc 1) he won't do anything 2) idk whats the current status of #their relationship (ig over bc they weren't all over e/o at our last function) and 3) even if theyre not together anymore i absolutely would #not try anything behind our friend's back or w/o her knowledge or consent bc they did have something doesnt rly matter what it was and #shes still my friend above all so i gotta be mindful of her feelings for me AND for him and abt us or whatever #so yea thats something thats been on my mind since yesterday #im not like. suffering over it btw its just something on my mind that i wanted to share #i probably wont even do anything about it and then forget abt it next week lol #mari.txt #but also feel free to like comment on this or something i love it when yall r nosey lmfao

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robbiedaymonds · 9 months

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my birthday was so good yesterday! probably the best one i've had in years. 🥰

#boston is a pretty cool city actually #and the weather was perfect!#and i saw penguins and turtles and dwarf seahorses #and bought some fantasy books #and hung out with A Person and maybe see some possibilities there #i think it was a great birthday bc it wasn't just a 'oh here's this event solely to celebrate you'#and was more of a day where i just did things i wanted to do and enjoyed myself and the company that i chose #perks of being an adult...people tend to forget your birthday and don't think to throw you parties so you can make your own day plans #anyway! i'm going to relax so much today because i was on my feet for 8 solid hours yesterday walking around boston lol #might watch some SNW and definitely finish reading Elantris and just have a relaxing day #okay time to stop livejournaling my thoughts into tags lmao #ashlee talks

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dancing-with-stars · 2 months

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guys. guys !!!!

#vanu is rambling #ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me #but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or #i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey #where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me #and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during #those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears #and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg #and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time #they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did #and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent #stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in #friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool #people really. really cool people

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anemoflower · 6 months

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I should think about platonic f/o's more... like as friends / best friends. I don't know why, but the thought of making new friends is a bit... scary to me.

#I love having mutuals and silently liking each others posts #or even reblogging and leaving nice tags #there are a few people with who I think it's super easy to talk to and I enjoy talking to!#I just wish I wouldn't be so anxious and maybe also leave a comment or send more asks to... make more friends #but I can't for the life of me approach them for... more talking #and everytime after a social ineraction I just feel so weird like 'Wow you're weird why are you like this why did you open up to them #and I feel like I can't... have more than one close friend idk #okay this got very real #uhm anyway I met my best friend yesterday and it was very nice!#(I know him long enough to be comfortable to be my weird little self and I know he accepts that because he's just as weird as me)#also I will try to practise friendshipping (?) with f/o's more #(It's early morning here I just post this and hope noone sees it haha)#(I know I will be fine later)

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toytulini · 11 months

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hit tag limit on the last post cos i started talking about roller coasters again 😔

#toy txt post #wish there was a way for me to like. Do. something. with my roller coaster hyperfixation. but im not an engineer i dont want to design them #thats so scary and i couldnt be a ride op cos im scared of riding most of them (disclaimer I KNOW HOW SAFE THEY ARE THATS NOT THE PROBLEM #I DONT HANDLE THE PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE OF THRILL RIDES FILLING ME WITH ADRENALINE VERY WELL IT CAUSES ME PAIN #i do not enjoy it. but i love to see coasters and watch them and read about them 🥺 and also sometimea i read about. the incidents which #felt like very foolish at first like okay this isnt gonna help me get comfortable riding them but honestly actually it did help?#to see how many of the incidents are like. truly like either freak accidents or someone fucked up #but like the rides safety mechanisms usually are very good and not the reason for an accident. most errors seem to be like. act of god or #like. operator or rider error. and some of the operator errors are kind of terrifying BUT ALSO seem like things that can be prevented #maybe the new wave of unionizing in the us will sweep into theme park employees and make sure theyre paid well and recieve good benefits #and that they are not pressured to prioritize profits or faster throughput at the expense of safety. and (really optimistic i know) maybe #we as a society and culture can unlearn our systemic fatphobia to the point that its doable to turn someone away for being #too big to ride safely without making them feel like shit or like its their fault and MAYBE we'll even possibly just maybe figure out how #to make rides that can actually accommodate larger guests safely so they can participate in the fun without fear or bodyshaming #logically i know theres no way to remove 100% of risk and that there is still heightened risk especially for ppl w various #medical conditions but idk i think we as a society can keep theme parks and do them well. i believe in us.#i should go to more of them....ive been to like. not that many but i do still have favorites #hershey my beloved. i LOVE how visible all the coasters are all the time i LOVE the skyview going right through great bears track #i hope i can go again this yr and see the new wildcat 🥺 absolutely not going to ride that fucking thing but i am definitely going to stare #at it. jenn if youre reading this i cannot fucking believe you got me to ride og wildcat honestly #p sure that rattle gave me a headache and i would not do it again that was a rough fucking ride lol but im glad u somehow got me into that #i have. such a complicated relationship with being peer pressured onto rides lol #like on the one hand i do need that a little bit or i definitely wont do it but on the other. being forced onto comet as a child was #slightly traumatizing and definitely marked my turn from wanting to ride all the coasters to jot wanting to ride anything #to my parents credit on that one they do recognize it as a mistake and were sorry about it like immediately so i dont hold it against them #but also dont. force ur children to ride coasters lol. but i do need to go spend a day at hershey just forcing myself to ride great bear #over and over. fav coaster best coaster. its so fucking loud. its shaped so good. pretty color scheme. its constellation themed #i do love and am obsessed with how hershey packs all those tracks together like that it looks so cool i love to see it #candymonium right at the entrance like that is Extremely distracting very immediately

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tripleboy · 9 months

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One of my mutuals posted a list of games they plan on playing and psy///nauts 2 was on there... stomach literally dropped

#i dont think i ever actually posted my psy///nauts opinions on here... long story short #1 was a good game and I enjoyed it. and 2 was probably okay as a game but it dropped the ball as a sequel.#it makes changes to the tone that didnt need to be changed #the game stopped being a fun 50s superhero or early james bond type period piece and instead was closer to post-9/11 CIA copaganda shit #and from what i know (admittedly i have not really played the game and have had to spoil it for myself in small chunks to avoid an episode)#they really fumble the overarching themes at the end. Which is interesting #now you may be wondering. Why would you have to avoid the game like this to avoid an episode neo? Well I'll tell you a secret #My number one source of anxiety bordering on psychosis is ''mind reading or alteration without my awareness or consent''#So you can understand how a video game series about a bunch of people who do that shit for a day job #would have to be verrrrry careful to not set that off. And to be fair the first game was very tasteful and did not bother me #Anyways joyboy if youre reading this maybe skip 2. Or play it and be mad about it with me. Your choice

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genderfluid-druid · 1 year

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#ok we're gonna try to finish this story in under 30 tags ok let's go #SO. 'hahaha yeah wow that's crazy that you know him! we did date yeah. (does not elaborate)'#but. okay confession time. i know this was a questionable choice. it was selfish. it fed the brain gremlin that craves validation #but i never blocked M on snapchat #so even though we never talked. i could see when he viewed my stories. and i won't lie. there is a smug part of me that enjoyed #letting him see me go on about my life.#i am a flawed bitch. so sue me. it was a manageable amount of contact that didn't send me into spirals #and he DID keep viewing them.#he even messaged me once! i don't know maybe a year ago. it was totally out of the blue. 'saw this book and thought of you' on a picture of #a nice edition of The Hobbit. i didn't respond. i had to have a petty moment for all the times during the Bad Era when i tried to message #him and he took too long (in my shitty estimation) to message back. so i left him on read. for like a year #okay you can see where this is going so I'll cut to the chase #'i ran into a friend of yours' is a perfectly reasonable conversation starter. it can be the whole conversation if it needs to be.#well. it wasn't #idk. my world state for the last six years has been 'M doesn't care for me and there is no world in which we ever have a civil chat again.'#well. that doesn't track with 'it's past my bedtime but i don't mind staying up to chat' and 'i would love to get an earful about podcasts'#and 'let's chat again' and 'it was really great to hear from you'#idk. i don't know what emotion i should feel. anger is gonna be the first one that makes it to the surface i think #got a good healthy dose of anger happening #grief. i do think there's some grief. mmhmm yep there it is #there are probably some positive emotions but those are the most strenuously repressed and i don't think I'm ready to let the collar off #i have made a lot of choices in the last six years to protect my mental health specifically because of how that relationship ended #so even just talking to him is. well for one thing it's playing a bit fast and loose with the health i have managed to build up #i feel good. my life has been good lately. my therapist moved me from monthly to once every three months. my social life is the most #thriving it's ever been #i am possibly in a place to unbox some things that were thrown in the attic as an emergency measure #i should talk to my therapist

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