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bettsfic · 25 days

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hi it’s me again! i finished the kennedy book half an hour ago and i am still reeling.

you weren’t kidding about the last chapters. like the farewell party is a bittersweet anecdote, but then the epilogue is just absolutely crushing. what a brutal note to end on. the true endpoint is the paragraph in the acknowledgements where he thanks his coauthor for freeing him from the emotional prison he was in. phrase practically verbatim. like oh my god.

that thing you said about what’s not said really did nail the sort of very careful sidestepping of….giving his opinions, maybe? there is just a very deliberate sort of distance with which he describes any events, and so you really notice the barest hints of something more. (more than anyone can ever know, mr. hill? care to elaborate??? it’s the implication that they kept many secrets together and also his enduring loyalty to her that keeps us from learning hardly any of them.) i was reminded of the perception of the kennedys as american royalty because he really talks about her like she was a queen. jackie kennedy through his lens is beautiful and gracious and willful and truly given the royal treatment.

speaking of the royalty metaphor, aristotle onassis is two steps from being a mustache-twirling villain hoping that our brave knight clint hill dies a watery death under a yacht??? unprompted??? like, man. come on. honestly there’s a fascinating emotional thread in here about how he can only fully express feelings of protectiveness when they’re expressed by the president first.

anyway. this is a long ask. sorry. i feel like i should have something profound to say about the assassination chapters because of how significant the event is in history but i don’t yet. i probably sound unhinged but man. this was real life and this is how he chose to tell this story. what even was that.

THANK YOU.

re: last chapters: i want to look into what happened between him and his coauthor (they're married now!) but i haven't yet. i'm still feeling my feelings about the whole thing. can you imagine not reading the acknowledgements?? the acknowledgements that provide the only ounce of comfort amid the hurt of the last third of the book??

re: "MORE THAN ANYONE CAN EVER KNOW": i purposefully haven't shared that quote because divorced from its context you don't get the impact. to me that says he either totally had a thing with her but won't talk about it because he's an honorable man, in the same way he won't offer any kind of "no yeah the warren report was bullshit and the shots came from two different directions" confirmation, or he wants us to *think* something happened even if it didn't. i mean it's not like it was a secret that JFK and Jackie had affairs with other people. a great many of those people have written memoirs specifically about boning one or more of the Kennedys. so many in fact that it's basically a subgenre.

also there's some irony in the way he depicts Jackie. she didn't like to be written about. at all. ever. and there's more than one instance where he's, you know, an 80 year old man being a bit patronizing (in an otherwise very sensitively and thoughtfully written book), with all the mentions of mischief and little-girlishness. and so i keep thinking about how Jackie would have felt about this particular depiction, which despite the glossy nostalgia over the whole thing and I Love Lucy-esque antics, is a pretty nuanced depiction, at least compared to others i've read. he manages to revere her, nearly worship her, but still portray her vices, not as faults but as even more reasons he loved her. i don't know, man. it just feels weird to stumble upon a true story of what i thought were fictional feelings.

re: "he can only fully express feelings of protectiveness when they’re expressed by the president first": HOLY SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT. i'm still thinking about that scene where he takes the film out of that photographer's camera and JFK is just like, "ummm we can't make it seem like we're denying the press access to us, so we're gonna have to blame you," which prompted Hill to question his professional loyalty to the president against his personal loyalty to Jackie, and also it made me think, what would happen if he had to shoot someone? would he get blamed for that too? was he really only there as a human shield, able to protect but not truly defend?

re: "what even was that": WHAT EVEN WAS THAT.

#i'm still not even a little bit over this #dazzle

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tatachin · 3 months

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A Record and A Question | Identity V (第五人格）

Greetings to the esteemed fan base. I am the newest victim of IDV propaganda, finally enticed by the sheer ridiculousness of the Composer's gameplay, sent to me by an old time friend who's been playing this game for as long as I have known them. Granted, I did start a good two weeks prior writing this post however with recent events, it has come to my attention that I Must inquire the following:

Is it just me, or does Frederick constantly get targeted first?

I have no fucking clue on where to begin with this. I admit quite shamelessly that I am a coward and very new to the PvP game scene, previously only religiously playing otome games and then mmorpgs (PvE type). Henceforth I chose to solely play as a decoder (after taking a liking to the Composer's play style) FOOLISH THINKING, that I could avoid confrontation with the Hunters. AND YET, as you can probably deduce from my question, I am CONSTANTLY targeted first.

Does the man have sweet juicy ass that attracts hunters in general? Are Composers just so rare to find that hunters can't help but to HAVE to chase the one guy with the tuning fork that speeds him away?

I quote this conversation yesterday, with my dearest friend who got me into this mess in the first place, AD VERBATIM,

"Friend: Fast paced transitioning like Emil's and Charles' are mostly used to dodge hit last second/to mind games in more complicated maps because they can pass through certain obstacles

:Yours are

:Fancy speedup

:LOOK HE'S A DECODER HES NOT SUPPOSED TO CONTAIN HUNTER OKAY

:HES JUST NOT BUILT FOR THAT

:THAT'S JUST YOU!!!!!!

Me> aND YET

>GESTURES AT MY 176 SECONDS CONTAINING

>fOUR cIPHERS

>NONE OF THEM WAS MINE BECAUSE I IMMEDIATELY GOT HUNTED DOWN BY THE MOTHERFUCKER OF A HUNTER

>I AM LEVELING UP THE WRONG SKILLTREE AS AN EARLY GAMER MAN WHAT THE FUCK

Friend: HAHAHAHAHHA

: Picks support

: Levels up on attack"

My dearest friend, grits teeth, has been unabashedly laughing at me for the sheer misfortune of attracting all the hunters in the world. You may laugh as well, fellow netizen.

Not every single match of course, I would've known that the world was dead set on killing me off first in that way but No. Maybe a 7/10 matches, I'd get targeted first. Maybe twice or thrice I'd get the doki dokis and nyoom away in time, God forbid if I get tracked down then on the small chance I'd still successfully kite for a while and then get the fuck away from the hunter. Or maybe, just maybe, for that peaceful few matches, I can decode. In. Peace. But nooooooooo, next match they'll DEFINITELY come back with Vengeance.

And so, as you can see, I am truly in a pickle. Please send help.

For clarification, as some of you may think "awww this newbie's throwing a fit over skill issues"

First and foremost,

Yes I am. I will admit it.

2. No, I do not vault over stuff for no reason anymore (yes I used to, as Gardener in the first 3 or 4 days before I got Composer, sue me)

3. I don't constantly miss combos (I know 3 misses will alert, collectively and not consecutively), so I'm definitely sure that's not the issue, I am pretty consistent with my combos usually reaching 100+ on lvl 2 IF I ever get a peaceful time ciphering away from the hunter/them having another unfortunate soul to harass.

4. I'm... Well. I'd like to think I'm a decent player as a Composer as I do have some mastery over his kit. It's to the point that I have 100% deduction on Frederick as I have played him religiously for these two weeks and yes, of course clearing the escape using tuning fork missions were one of those that got quickly cleared due to the sheer frequency of me getting hunted.

THUS AND THEREFORE I REQUEST OF THEE, AN ANSWER.

IS COMPOSER HOT SHIT FOR FIRST GRABS OR IS IT TRULY!!!! TRULY JUST ME.

Fellow Composer mains please reply, I am in dire need of validation.

Your truly,

A 2 week old Composer main, fresh off a match where I contained Fool's Gold for 3 ciphers in the circus map, got chaired, then saved by Embalmer, then the man gave up when I speeded away and he chased Embalmer in the seats while I, trying to realize my Norton x Frederick delusions, ran back to decode the last cipher machine right next to them.

(Eventually someone else completed the last cipher and along with the rest of the crew we made our merry little way to the gate, Fool's Gold randomly throwing his silly little pickaxe around while we left behind a graffiti mess and the poor fellow as we escaped. A bittersweet victory indeed.)

#idv #identity v #i tak #idv composer #idv frederick kreiburg #send help please #also before anyone asks #are you a true idv fan/tumblr user if you're not the least bit attracted to the notion of monsterfucking

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trashquisitor-shirozora · 8 months

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I think you bring up a fantastic point about the lack of context that Ahsoka provides to its audience, despite being marketed as entry level, despite Filoni saying not to bother watching Clone Wars or Rebels, despite them saying they're making a new story that doesn't rely on anything else. I was one of two sacrificial lambs who watched it, so the remainder of the group wouldn't have to, and the other lamb had never watched any Clone Wars or Rebels, and therefore was really fucking confused what was going on, and kept having to stop to get stuff explained, cuz the show sure as hell wasn't going to.

It's sadly a continuation on the precedent that Favloni with reuniting Grogu and Din in BOBF. Especially since this is all just lead up for Dave's little Heir to the Empire pet project, he's going to be needing to yank a lot of characters out of their normal characterization (Thrawn is the most obvious example for this) which is easier when the audience doesn't have preconceived notions of what that characterization looks like from previous shows.

I'm half "yeah, I remember reading Filoni saying that" and half "wait, did he really say that?" and I don't know what to say now that the first two episodes dropped. Imo, while TFA relied a little too hard on nostalgia it was able to ride on cultural osmosis and also did a halfway decent job introducing us to Rey, Finn, and Poe. The movie gave us enough of a glimpse into each of their backstories and what life was like before the inciting incident on Jakku to help us understand, relate to, and connect with the characters. I didn't get that with Ahsoka. If I didn't already have working knowledge of who Hera and Sabine were, I wouldn't know what the fuck to do with them because they weren't introduced in a way that gave me an idea of their relationships with each other, with Ahsoka, with Lothal, with Ezra, with the Rebellion.

It wouldn't have been that hard to do it. When that ceremony was happening in Lothal with the mural, we could've gotten a really condensed and maybe extremely embellished summary of Rebels that culminated in the Battle of Lothal and whatever the fuck Ezra did with Thrawn and the space whales. When we actually meet Sabine, we could've gotten some useful information out of her banter with the pilots; she could've mocked Ryder's speeches, quoting almost verbatim what he said to imply that she's heard his shit before many many many many many times, and said she was too fucking tired and Done to go through yet another ceremony/commemoriation/speech. I don't know shit about fuck about Ryder Azadi (I had to google his name because I don't remember if it was mentioned anywhere but that's auditory processing shenanigans for you) so I don't know if that's in-character for him so if it's not, give that assignment to some new face. Or have us briefly shadow a New Republic visitor who isn't too familiar with what happened at Lothal and asks for a summary from a local. I don't know, just do something to give unfamiliar viewers some fucking context for why we're on Lothal and why Sabine matters.

This goddamn assumption that everyone tuning into Ahsoka somehow already knows all about TCW and Rebels because they either already watched all of that or had to the time, energy, and fucks to give to watch them after Ahsoka debuted in the Mando Show is goddamn arrogant imo. I have a lot of other thoughts about this particular sticking point but this isn't the place. I'm real happy for the people who did watch the other two shows and enjoyed them and had a great time and all that, but I wasn't that audience and I'm not in the position right now to try to join in. I'm just watching along and taking notes.

#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks #ahsoka critical #ahsoka show spoilers

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astridthevalkyrie · 11 months

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chand ko chakor dekhe, tujkho naseebo wala (the bird looks at the moon, a lucky one looks at you) | hawks x reader | chapter 2

“You’ve died twice? From clocks?” “I know you’re not blind to the rocks and debris flying literally everywhere! The world would be better off without you in it!” you scream at the villain. The machine is even louder as it breaks and jams into the ground. “Flying building pieces or something, I don’t know—one hit me yesterday. The first day I got knocked into a wall, and then I woke up hugging my body pillow. Same thing the next day. And the next, and the next. Did my number three pro hero partner save me? No, he let me get stuck in a fucking time loop!” Or, you’ll do a lot of things with infinite time on your hands, but falling in love with Keigo Takami isn’t one of them.

a/n: you know it's a good writing kick when i'm updating despite no one liking this but me LOL

warnings: afab reader with she/her pronouns. FOUL language, reader curses so much, and just general rudeness, lots of death because reader is morbid, reader slutshames hawks

“So how many times have you told me?”

“Jesus, you must be allergic to asking original questions.”

Hawks levels you with an unimpressed look. “I’d say something about how I obviously wouldn’t remember my past self’s questions—”

“‘But you’ll probably make fun of me by repeating verbatim what I’m saying.’” You smirk at the pained look on his face that accompanies your air quotes. “Yeah. Now you’re going to try and think of an original, out of the box question to ask, which, if you can believe it or not, varies on how I move or what I say. I look right, you ask me what past you has said so far, but if I look left, you ask me about how I’ve been keeping myself entertained.”

After a long pause in which you think about how much you hate this fucking coffee, Hawks says, “You’re going to be a pain to talk to.”

“I’m a goddamn delight. You’re the one I’ve had to convince of this six whole times.”

“But you keep tellin’ me, sweetheart.” Ew. Ew. “Why is that?”

“I told you, you’re a constant everyday. Besides me dying.”

“You die—”

“Yes,” you sigh impatiently, “I never get through the day without dying. The longest I’ve gone is till 4 PM.” Gesture to the clock that you know is five minutes ahead. “So, one hour left to go! Yay me.”

Now you both only stare at each other, which is new, since Hawks can usually never shut the fuck up. There’s a question you want to ask, have wanted to ask for the past few days you’ve told him (with some breaks in between because come on, you’re not a walking Wikipedia page for fucking time loops and Hawks has no idea how to not be a pain) but you’re not going to because. Uh. Insecurity or some shit.

Taking a long swig of his yucky strawberry bright pink dark-as-his-soul drink, freaky golden eyes observe you. You only darken your own gaze. What is this? A death match? Well, you’ve died several times and he’s still stuck at zero so. You know. He can suck your dick.

“Why don’t you ask me some questions?” he finally offers, and when you narrow your eyes, he grins cheerfully. “C’mon, songbird, you know you want to.”

“What’s the ratio of men you’ve been with versus women?”

“Four to nine. Challenge me next time.”

What a smug little shit. “Slut. How crazy do you think I am right now?”

“Not any more than normal.”

“How do you not sweat in that oversized jacket?”

“Bird stuff. And style takes priority over comfort.”

“Wild.” This is boring. Fucking boring, you’re bored, and you could die at any time. How boring does something have to be for you to not be nervous about death? Goddamn.

You’re nearly beaming when a gunshot hits the ceiling, only for your happy mood to be replaced by a horrified one when a literal mini feather takes the robber out of the store and knocks him against a lamppost. What the fuck. What the fuck, dude.

The waitress who makes the least shitty coffee in the whole cafe has tears in her eyes. “Oh, thank you, Hawks! Thank you! I was so scared!”

“When?”

A fat tear catches on her lip as she quivers. “W-what?”

“When were you scared? He dealt with that in a second! The asshole didn’t even give you time to be scared!”

“I’m fast,” Hawks winks at her, stepping too close for your comfort. Slut. WHORE. “Oh my god,” he snaps his fingers in realization, “you knew that was going to happen. You’re a bad person.” For some reason, that thought is abso-fucking-lutely hilarious to him. “You were so about to let this store be robbed.”

“Um, no. For your FYI—”

“Redundant—”

“The same things don’t happen everyday. I mean that stupid fucking shit for brains asshole clock bitch always shows up, but the cafe has never been robbed before. That’s just the universe trying to kill me. Look.” You stomp out, waving away the waitress who seems too hesitant to tell you that you have to pay they can put you in jail give you a life sentence it won’t matter now innit and kneel down by the robber.

“Aha! One more bullet. This was my death instrument. But you interrupted.”

SCARY shimmery golden eyes get closer closerthanhewastothewaitress until you’re knelt up against the same lamppost that gave Mr. Robber a concussion. “So I saved your life. Do I get a thank you kiss?”

“You get a choke on my balls, man. Also, you’re being, like. Really casual about this. Consistently. You’re telling me to try stuff and I’m trying the stuff, like I watched the Bill Murray movie and I gave myself a really good orgasm, and none of it worked, but if I didn’t know better I’d say you were living this with me.”

“Nah.” The corners of his lips quirk up genuinely. “I’m just trying to match whatever you’re giving me. You’re not panicking, so I’m not gonna be the one who tries to push you over the edge.”

“But I am panicking. Like, it’s whatever because I can’t stop it, but Hawks, I’m still...” You blink, looking at him, for the first time, with a defeated look. “Stuck.”

The pro catches your chin before it falls, forcing it up to meet his gaze. Ugly, lemon-colored eyes. Lips that at least four men and nine women have kissed. You wonder if Hawks is into degradation. He looks like he has a praise kink.

His hand encircles your wrist, he leans in, and then he blows a cherry on your cheek.

“Gross, dude, you’re gross!”

“Tell me everyday.” he replies cheerfully, “not that I’m gross.” You’re going to tell him exactly that everyday. Even when you’re not in a time loop. If you’re ever not in a time loop. “But about what’s happening. I’ll help get you unstuck no matter what.”

Why. You’re not gonna ask that. You’re just gonna accept the help that he owes you for not saving you the first day. And fuck that little butterfly-flutterfly shitstain feeling that’s usually reserved for your pussy that’s creeping up higher and twisting into knots in your stomach.

(The only time you’ve ever felt it with Hawks in the past was that one time he was fucking stuffing his gob with cheap street vendor fried chicken and when he swallowed he. Groaned. Out loud. All disgusting and unghhhh and shit. And your womanly wiles liked it. The fuck.)

“Fine.” Your palm touches his cheek right as the robber comes to, taking the gun that you cleverly left at his side and blowing a hole in your head.

—————————————————

You will not be telling Hawks you died while caressing his prickly bird face.

—————————————————

In three days actuallynodaysatallhowSPOOKY, it’s 4 PM, and you and Hawks are at the top of the highest building in the city.

“You never did ask.” Hawks looks and sounds like a villain, surrounded by so many feathers pointed outward. You feel like a civ too, in the middle of it all, standing helplessly. But you’re not scared of him. If you weren’t sure you could take him? Then maybe. Are you sure? Maybe. Whatever. You can work on that confidence todaymorrow.

“Ask what?” The way your hands are up as though you’re ready to fight invisible demons would you make you fucking cackle if it was anyone else.

“Why my questions are different depending on the way you turn.”

You release a heavy laugh, eyes darting around like a madwoman. What will it be? A comet? A criminal? The building itself crumbling? You’d think a person would know what to expect after…nineteen? twenty? however-many-the-fuck-days. “You shit. That’s why you’ve been telling me to ask you stuff each day. Clever little birdbrain.”

A fly barely gets into the fray before a crimson feather wraps around it and tosses it to the side. Hawks does many things, but taking chances when it comes to doing his job isn’t one of them, apparently. Not that this is his job. Or at least you didn’t ask for it to be if he’s making it his personal mission to ensure you live that’s on him and only him.

“So why?”

“Oh, I’m not gonna tell you.”

“What!? Why not?”

“Because now there’s at least one piece of info that you won’t know and can’t parrot to poor tomorrow me.” He grins, showing you his stupid pearly whites. “Sucks to suck.”

“Fuck you.” You flip him off. “I’ll just manipulate it out of you tomorrow.”

Hawks’ voice comes out in a song—only this bitch would somehow find a way to one-up you when you’re literally immortal. “No, you woooon’t, songbird. Oh, hey!” He holds up his phone. “4:01!”

“4:01?” Your eyes bulge.

“Four o fucking one!”

“4:01!” you shriek happily, throwing yourself into his arms. Hawks squeezes you tight, burying his face in your hair like you two are the parents of some graduating high school student who was also the class president as THOUGH your combined genes would ever create such a genius.

Hawks is warm.

A plane fucking crashes into you. He’s miraculously spared.

Bitch.

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks x you #keigo takami x you #takami keigo x you #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academia x you #boku no hero academia x you #ckc fic #valkyrie stories

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funnypansexualanimorph · 10 months

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Its been a while, so here's the prologue to my fanfic once more.

My name is Marco. I could tell you my last name at this point, but why stop tradition? I didn't think there would be another story to tell, if I'm honest. But here we are, another saga from the Animorphs. Surprise!

The Yeerks are defeated, the last remaining ships scattered about are being hunted down as we speak. You'd think we could relax, right? Right? Nah, that'd be too easy.

So I guess… I should explain a few things. The Andalites upgraded the morphing time limit. Or perhaps the Ellimist did… either way, we were given the gift of it.

Tobias, you remember bird-boy right? Well he spends most of his time in his human morph. I mean, I don't exactly blame the guy, considering dating in the bird world is pretty dangerous. Plus, gag me with a spoon, he's dating Rachel.

Rachel is still her Xena: Warrior Princess self, not taking shit from anyone. She's a model now… big surprise right? Jake and Cassie spend a lot of time together. they're pretty on and off again. I know they will eventually end up together permanently but they've got some shit to work out first.

Jake's too stuck in his own head, and Cassie tends a lot of animals now. Jake's the ambassador for Earth, the Andalites call him the 'Human Prince." so he can't exactly put anything behind him… and i know he's having a hard time. Cassie works with some the Chee. they're very good at veterinary duties and all of them enjoy it. She usually lets them deal with the canines when she can. She's busy, but always has time for the old team.

As for Ax, being an Andalite Prince has it's ups and downs. His people are particularly pissed that he refuses to leave Earth. well. he's sorta got a reason. At least I hope my idea for the reason is correct.

And what about me? well. I live in the woods with Ax and Tobias now. In Ax's Scoop, actually. I could probably quote to you verbatim every single episode of The Young And The Restless with how often Ax watches the re-runs. It's peaceful for the most part, and enjoyable. Ax has been in human morph a lot, so I'm teaching him how to blend in as a human. He's learning pretty damn fast.

You can imagine how hard it is to pretend to be normal after what we went through. It was literal hell. More hell than hell itself. So naturally we're all a bit fucked up now. just trying to thrive and avoid the press and finally deal with all the trauma we endured. In a way, I think that we wanted something new to happen.

Anyway… I've rambled on for long enough. Step into my lair, said the dreth to the chorkant. See you on the other side…

-----

So the Prologue tells you nothing really. The fic is called Into the Lion's Den and it is an Animorphs/Voltron Legendary Defender crossover.

AU: Rachel is alive

Pairings: AxMarco, RachelTobias, JakeCassie, Klance, Hidge,

LMK if you want to see more.

@tobergrae

#tialys talks #animorphs #voltron legendary defender #fanfic #my fanfic writing #klance #axmarco

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inbabylontheywept · 9 months

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The Mormon Heretic Casts a Curse

So, this is a sequel piece to The Mormon Heretic and the Leviathan. @apolloendymion requested that I write some more of the stories, and this is another one. I'm going to put a trigger warning here that the story does involve partner abuse. Not from the heretic, but just... as a detail. Also, I guess, some medical stuff that involves death. It's Old Testament shit. Take it as you will.

Mormon seminary has four separate courses about the four separate parts of their canon. It’s on a constant rotation, and my particular ordering was Old Testament, then New Testament, then Book of Mormon, then Doctrine and Covenants.

I got the Mormon Heretic for my OT year, which is 100% the best year I could have possibly got him for. And, also, absolutely the worst, because at that time I was a very orthodox Mormon, and this guy couldn’t have fucked with my brain worse if JFK’s dad gave him an icepick and a waiver.

At that time I had an abysmal understanding of the OT, and to call my experience with it jarring would be an understatement. I learned that Elohim is a plural word. I learned that OT God itself doesn’t deny the existence of other Gods, and in fact relished challenging them to contests. The whole experience was so insane to me that I stayed after class one day to ask the teacher how he managed to bridge the divide between the OT and the NT. They're insanely different theologies, and he really refused to mince words about it.

He listened to my concerns, and I cried a little because I was fourteen and beginning to realize that there was something fundamentally wrong with the religion I was born into, and when it was all said and done he said that tomorrow he would teach the story of how he squared away the differences between OT God and NT God.

And he did.

I can remember having a sense that something was strange when we arrived at the building. There was a crosswalk where the exiting teenagers would pass the entering teenagers, and normally people would discuss the lesson as they passed. The group we passed just looked shell shocked.

I sat down. The class arrived. Heretic stood up, and went to the front of the class, and he began his tale:

He had a little sister that got married at nineteen. She then started making visits to the hospital.

He, like his family, assumed that she was just clumsy. He was clumsy. He’d had multiple surgeries on his shoulders and his elbows and his knees because he kept doing dumb things to himself.

She was not clumsy. Her husband was beating her.

She got a divorce. Heretic was old when the story was being told - I think in his early sixties? - and the divorce went shockingly well for the time. Sister was not blamed, husband was ostracized from both families, and life found a way to continue in its slow way.

Heretic was, at that point, a new teacher in the Church Education System (CES). He was trying to be a spiritual guy, and teach spiritual lessons, but he just wasn’t doing a very good job because he was really, really, murderously angry with the guy that had hurt his sister.

Sister had moved on. Or, he thought she had, he was hardly telepathic, but he felt like she’d let go and started her life anew, and her parents had supported her, and even her in laws had supported her, and things should have been easy to let go of, but they weren’t. And every day that he tried to let go, he got more and more angry, and every day he tried to pretend he was fine he ripped the wound wider, and one day he taught a spectacularly bad lesson and came home and wanted nothing more than to kill the man that had beat his sister. He instead said a prayer. I cannot quote it verbatim, but this is very, very close to what was said. “God, I know that I must forgive to be forgiven, but I want nothing more than to see that animal choke to death on his own shit.”(I know for a fact that the choke on shit part was in it. It is not a common thing to hear a seminary teacher say “shit” in the middle of class. It is also integral to the rest of the story) If this was a book, there would’ve been an immediate result, but instead Heretic felt a strange peace, grabbed ahold of it like a lifeline, and resolved to go to therapy. Which is how he got into Jungian analysis. Finding therapy in the deep South in 1980 was pretty wild. Jump cut forward to the early 2000s. Heretic has moved on. Sister is remarried. He is at peace with the world, but he gets a call from his sisters old in-laws.

And the in-laws say that yes, they have ostracized the abuser for the last twenty years, but they got a call from him a few hours ago to please, meet him at the hospital, because he was sick.

And the abuser was, in fact, very sick. He’d been vomiting for days. The doctors couldn’t figure out why, but they knew that at the present rate, they were running out of time. He was going to have some kind of exploratory surgery as a hail Mary, and the guy wanted a blessing first.

And so the family had gone to Heretic, to ask him if he would be willing to bless the man that had beat his sister. It is one thing, to feel like you have forgiven someone enough to move on, and another to wish good things upon them. But Heretic had spent years and years in therapy, and he developed on an incredibly spiritual path, and he said that yes, he would bless the man before the surgery.

And he did.

The surgery found that the man had a benign mass in his colon. It wasn’t spreading, but it had grown large enough to prevent food from going around it. Without an exit, things had built up back to the entrance. The man was throwing up because there was nowhere else for the shit to go. Worse, during the surgery he thrown up and some of the mix had managed to drain back into the man’s lungs. He survived the knife, but the combination of fecal matter and acid inside his lungs had created an infection that he failed to survive. He drowned in his own fluids.

He drowned in his own shit.

Now, at that point, the class had no idea where this was going. We were a bunch of children, hearing a story about this insane divine retribution, but the Heretic continued.

And with tears in his eyes, he told us that God had answered his original prayer only after he had fully and truly forgiven that man. That if he’d wished death on another human being in anger, in rage, and then received it, it would have damned his soul, but that as soon as he was at peace, as soon as he could wish life and love upon the man that had wronged his kin, justice could be brought down. And be believed it, with his entire heart. He spoke about how God wants to give us what we want, but that he loves us so much that we will not give it to us until we have reached the point where it is not poison to us. We will have our revenge, but only when it is meaningless to us. When the only lesson that could be grabbed from it is that God heard us the first time, and held back out of love. Then, we will see those who had wronged us choke on their shit.

The bell rang after that, and we left the class in a daze. When we went across the crosswalk, no one spoke a word to the students crossing the opposite way. We were all too busy thinking.

#mormon #mormonism #exmormon #seminary #i still dont know what to think about this #i dont believe in god but i almost want to believe in the maniac this guy believes in #some people just ignore the OT/NT divide but this guy jumped it and did a triple backflip on a motorcycle #i miss him #I have considered that this guy was an atheist trying to make other people realize that religion was crazy #but i have since embraced the view that he knew religion was crazy and wanted to make sure that everyone else knew that before signing up #because he knew that #to him the ultimate tragedy would be think you loved the church without even knowing it first

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motheatenscarf · 10 months

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Man, Urianger continues to win the trophy for "Most Improved" of the main trio of Scions.

I like Thancred and Y'shtola, but idk, man, Urianger is the one between the three of them that actually makes me distraught over "Oh no, I love this character!" the way that like, the twins or Aymeric or Emet Selch do

Idk if it's just a.) a combination of endearing character traits (autistic nerd + good with kids), b.) he reminds me of my GOOlock D&D character that I played for 3 years straight, or c.) his voice actor, who's so good he will make you care about Uncle fucking Gamlen in DA2, but I really do love Urianger 🥺

He got some nice moments FINALLY addressing some of his grief and regrets and the existential horror of the "brutal algebra" of trying to decide how we can save as many people as we can from the absolute devastation of an entire world.

They're having him address "Oh, hey, we've known each other for years and been through Some Shit together, but I've never actually... opened up, have I?" which is nice, and also BIG MOOD that all it took was the world literally ending to get Urianger to open up.

Urianger's a great character with that very gentle, non-toxic stoicism (Estinien take notes), but yeah, I would not say he and Talia were especially close prior to this.

There's a good Trek quote where like, the best way to say "I love you" to the people in your life is not those words verbatim, but just saying "Let me help," and that's an adage I abide by. My favorite characters are the ones I just want to help, and there is a lovely synchronicity between player and character when it actually lets me.

To date, one of my favorite quests was going on a shopping errand for Lyse back when she was still Yda, right after Moenbryda died. It was something that was emotionally hard for her and she was asking for help, because Rowena always criticized her mask and tried to sell her a new one when she went, and she couldn't deal with that in her grief. It was a quiet, simple thing you could do to ease some of her burden and she opened up about it. And it became all the more tragically poignant when you later learned that her mask came from her dead sister, and that Moenbryda was a surrogate to that dead sister.

I'm glad Urianger, who was in theory Moenbryda's BEST FRIEND from childhood, possibly lover, is now finally, FOUR. EXPANSIONS. LATER. getting to open up about this shit.

#Caitlin Plays FF14 #FF14 spoilers

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losersroom · 1 month

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A + U + V please! ❤️

A. Already answered!

U. Is there a pairing you'd like to write, but haven't tried yet?

Kirill/Marat and I know exactly what I'm doing for it. ...Unfortunately it's going to be a semi-sequel to the massive project I'm working on now so I guess I'll get back to you about that in approximately 3-5 business months. People will want to read about Hootsy taking the knot in the off season, right?

V. Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you?

OH yes. Many of them are comments from friends, but genuinely every time someone takes the time to like, quote some lines they liked or comment on the themes I'm going for in a way that demonstrates I made it clear enough for people to pick up on it, that stuff sticks in my mind. I remember very clearly when I started the WolfSpider account (not my first ao3 account) to post, uh, Peter/Miles Spiderverse fuckery, I got several lovely comments from a specific person that wound up helping influence where I took the story. There are several comments people have deleted off my Umbrella Academy fics that I still remember nearly verbatim almost five years later. More recently, I was blown away by the sheer length and enthusiasm of some of the comments I got on my first RPF fic, somebody (you know who you are) wrote like a whole-ass literary dissertation about it in the comments section and I go back and reread those regularly when I am starting to feel like I might be a Hack Fraud.

Basically: I am not always that great at responding to comments but I read all of them and take them into my heart and it is, genuinely, the only reason I bother to post shit. I don't mean this in an "extorting you guys for praise" kind of way, really I don't. But this year has been haaaaard for me, and the feedback I've gotten lately has been one of the only bright spots. Thank y'all SO much for being lovely to me.

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schismusic · 3 months

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THE DISCOGRAPHY PRINCIPLE, Episode 1: Autechre - or, Into Battle with the Art of Noise

The discography principle may be defined as an objective way to determine whether or not you're worthy of calling a band or artist "your favorite" or "one of your favorites". A possible enunciation of it goes as follows:

"Let u ≝ some asshole, B ≝ {b|b is a band}, n ≝ #({x|x is a record by b}); let p = #({y|y is a record by b in u's possession}) = p1 + p2 wherein p1 ≝ number of physical records by b you own in any format and p2 ≝ number of records by b you have downloaded. If p ≥ n ∨ p2 = n (for n → +∞), then ∃b∈B such that b is one of u's favorite bands."

When u = me, this subset of B (which we might call Bf) is comprised of six bands, off the top of my head: Autechre, Godflesh, Shellac, Kraftwerk, Fugazi and Coil, listed in no particular order.

If you want to read the prologue to this series, go here. Otherwise, let's get going.

The concept of usefulness in the context of art criticism is very slippery and, one could argue, absolutely toxic and painful to the development of artistic expressions of all kinds. I have, in the past, been one of the leading proponents of it, but you have to understand: I routinely dealt with people who would add Arctic Monkeys and late-era Caparezza to their end-of-year lists. Drastic measures were in order, I'm sure you guys get it. In virtually all other instances, defining a record "useless" falls into one of the earliest trappings of retrograde art criticism, which is the supposed non-functionality of bad art, or more punctually the quality of non-functionality as inherently bad - wherein I am rather ready to assure you all that most of my favourite records of the past six or seven years fall into the category of absolutely unapproachable crocks of shit OR are records absolutely no one felt the need for except me (and even then, sometimes I didn't even know I'd love them, see Yellow Eyes' recent neofolk foray Master's Murmur).

A similar argument could be made for the concept of incomprehensibility. There are records that are just cryptic for the hell of it - and it would be unfair to label power electronics as such, in that power electronics is usually very direct with what it is about and how it takes it across, but early Brandt Brauer Frick records might very easily fit the bill: who, really, feels the need for live-played techno with classically trained interpreters except for people who like to groove but also have to pretend they know their shit about music and don't want any of that fake computer shit? Or even, why would anyone legitimately give a shit about a Stephen O'Malley record without guitars? - but Autechre I think are simply a different beast. Wherein the vulgata concerning their production essentially revolves around the idea that their first three are the best, then it's all noises and "self-serving experimentation", whatever the fuck that means, and for as many autism jokes people like to make about their music because they simply don't want to even try to give their music a fair chance to stand on its own and just pretend like "wow these guys sure are making computer farts haha", one of the best conversations about music I've had in a while revolves around something that binds Autechre and another dearly-beloved of all obnoxious music people, and later also featured in this series: Coil. And I'm not talking about the (very openly stated) relationship of most-likely-mutual influence between the two groups, but it does stem from that, or more specifically from the aborted collaborative record they toyed with in the early 2000s. This aforementioned collaborative record (which, in the early 2000s, would have probably sold like pre-sliced and pre-Nutella-coated bread to the admittedly very specific audiences the two projects had, regardless of its actual outcome) was shelved, and I quote verbatim, for "not being good enough", which is simply something that you do not do in electronic music unless you are really, really good at what you do - the best at what you do, even. Which would explain why no one ever shuts the fuck up in that particular world and everyone has like a full record and three splits/EPs out every year.

Autechre is something you have to want to waste a lot of time (and money, if you're an obsessive like me) into. There's a number of very cute cheat codes to getting Autechre but the gist of it is that just about nobody I know actually followed the advice literally everyone hands out - i.e. to start with Incunabula. I know I absolutely didn't. The first Autechre record I listened to was Confield, which I later purchased at a certain particularly well-known record shop in my city: my first thought was I really didn't know what to make of it. In retrospect, it's no surprise: literally any other Autechre record would have been better. There are more accessible ones and more inaccessible ones, but either of these options probably would have given me a different shock that would probably have hit me harder. Had I picked up a record like Amber, or Tri Repetae, I probably would have been like "damn this is very '90s but at the same time it still sounds very futuristic in terms of approach and arrangement choices, there's like a billion albums-of-the-month on Pitchfork that sound exactly like any one of these tracks but stretched to forty minutes to one hour" and maybe give it another listen, and then two, and then before I know it Rsdio becomes my most played track of the year (unfortunately, as you might have guessed, this isn't autobiographical, but that's because I ultimately got Tri Repetae on vinyl and mostly play it from there - it's "incomplete without surface noise", after all). If I had picked elseq, or - God forbid - the NTS Sessions, which at that point had been out for like a year or something, you know for a fact I would have tried to get absolutely fucked up by listening to the full four-hour thing while doing something really stupid, like taking a walk around in a blizzard or while in sleep deprivation or while studying linear algebra hoping that my brain would increase in mass all of a sudden. I would not have gotten it, obviously, because I was and to a massive extent still am an idiot who got lucky. Anyway, the point is that Confield felt and in part still feels to me like it's unexpressed potential, but not in the way a record like Radioactivity by Kraftwerk is: Confield looks at you, the listener, and goes "there's a whole other world where we already are. Too bad you can't see any of this shit, because we most definitely do!". Its second half gets noticeably more focused if you listen to the whole thing in sequence, though.

My second attempt was with Oversteps, bought on the same day as Confield, and again - at that point I was already kind of expecting Autechre to just fucking smoke me right then and there. Of course it did not happen, because Oversteps is a fundamentally easier record to approach than Confield is - and in buying it, I also missed the chance to buy Exai, which promptly disappeared from the record shop the very second I managed to go back there, and which would have probably gotten me in a whole ass elseq loop, but let's not dwell on the past, what the fuck did I know then? It's not like anyone has the idea to start with a two-hour-and-a-half impenetrable wall of glitching after all. Whatever. Oversteps is pretty cool though, because it gave me a pretty neat access into a number of other Autechre factory-seals like their stark sense of melody and a style of compositionl development recalling more the idea of a place than it would an actual track (and not even in the Ambient 4: On Land way, where it's "music that describes environments" inspired by the anything-goes bombastic mnemonic approach of Federico Fellini's Amarcord, but rather in its own way of "music that is the environment it describes": spatially organized arrangements, something meant for you to explore, and as such something that you need to spend time in, perhaps repeatedly). Obviously articulating this train of thought was absolutely out of the question and I therefore kept saying "damn, I need to get to this record and listen to it in full", which I later found out doesn't fly more often than not. Autechre is something you want to get back to and waste a shit ton of time on, every track approached like a little world or some sort of escape room even, where all the clues are there and everything you need to do is look (listen) more intently than you did before. I like to think of Autechre as a challenge and I'm assuming that Sean Booth and Rob Brown kinda see it like that too, but not as a challenge to the listener as much as they do it to challenge themselves.

There are absolutely going to be Autechre records you like more than others, some are not gonna speak to you at all, some might be more approachable or just more stylistically in line with what you do (and the best part is that you're gonna find it changes from person to person), but the best part is that there is never an Autechre record that feels thrown out for a quick buck or rushed or forced to develop old ideas and intuitions - for better or for worse, that is. At the same time there definitely is a form of continuity that makes it especially rewarding to listen to Autechre sequentially, the way some people like to watch and rank a director's filmography.

After the pandemic ended, and as people were beginning to go out again albeit maybe wearing masks and gloves, I dropped out of Mathematics and started watching a ton of movies. I fell in love with Nicolas Winding Refn, a director that makes it really easy to put on a movie and let it slide over your skin bathing you in thrills and aesthetics, but is pretentious enough to make that stuff at least try to have something to say (some people argue that it's detrimental to Refn's work, and to an extent I agree; I, for one, simply can't help but appreciate a man who very gleefully declares that the female experience is a mystery to him and at the same time that there's a sixteen-year-old girl within him and that he plays dolls with his daughters and that he never had a girlfriend until he met his current wife Lia Corfixen. The Neon Demon feels like it'd be just one step away from being a male-gaze-glorifying flick if it wasn't for its inherent absurdity and absolute lack of understanding of human relationships that makes it that bit less relatable and more forcefully estranging). Anyway as I was fixating on Refn's movies and downloaded all of them to watch and rewatch them, I also found myself back onto Autechre and decided to take a step back. This time I picked Amber - Incunabula being described as their masterpiece still sort of intimidated me. In retrospect, if I had heard Incunabula without a clear picture of what Autechre would evolve into, I'd have had a hearty laugh and thought something like "man, this aged horribly". Amber has a bit of an edge to it, despite what Booth & Brown say about it, and the elements left over from Incunabula are turned into a less rigid, more impalpable version of themselves that isn't afraid to, for instance, remove all drums and toy with the listener's sense of rhythm in a way something like Kalpol Introl never really did (see: Nine) or face a horrifying creeping darkness that Incunabula's more clearly urban/cyberpunk sensitivities more swiftly dealt with, for instance on tracks like Teartear.

Not one to be easily discouraged (at least when I feel like it), at the first opportunity I decided to buy a record I didn't already know: the choice fell on Tri Repetae, in that it was the next step in the Autechre canon (EPs notwithstanding) and I knew it'd be a step closer to Confield. I wanted to see what the story went like, on its own terms, because the key to this whole ordeal was that I needed to let the record do the talking before I had an opinion on it. And Tri Repetae really did talk to me, because it was exactly what I expected: it had the more discernible elements of early Autechre but also, again, an edge. It's that edge for me: that's the point of interest I end up into, the sort of liminal in-fieri elements that all Autechre releases imply to an extent, and the fact that something as fundamentally ungraspable as C/Pach or Rsdio feeling like it got back home after a whole sleepless night out walking in the cold could coexist with a veritable banger like Eutow (still the one track from Tri Repetae that elicits the most powerful emotional/elated reactions from me) simply blew my mind. Dancing to Eutow in my room and immediately finding myself bobbing my head to, of course, C/Pach and then Gnit led to the next realization in a long series: after everything that's been said about them, the being a four-dimensional object, the being famously impenetrable to all but the most dedicated nerds, the truth about Autechre is that they are a band about rhythm.

youtube

I don't exactly expect anyone to be surprised by this, really, but the conscious realization that what I had read on Wikipedia in passing (that Sean and Rob actually met up in the '80s while in the tagging/hip-hop/electro scene in London) actually had bearing on the duo's production was the key to unlocking the rest of their music. Every single thing Autechre have ever done has a form of pulse in it and it takes movement for it to be fully tapped into. Some hacks have recommended listening to Autechre on headphones (deep cuts on YouTube, I see you!) but as for me, I recommend speakers, possibly big, possibly hi-fi, possibly equalized for techno/dance music, and I recommend listening to them with a lot of free space around you. The inherent exploration of space that dancing entails very easily translates into an exploration of the underlying structures in Autechre's (whatchamacallit) songwriting, and from there the rest follows. Even Incunabula, which I finally tackled in summer 2023 and appreciated for what it is: provided you can deal with outdated sound palettes, an excellent record that stands as a true high mark in the exploration of analog instrumentation possibilities, a true forward-looking and forward-pushing debut outing on whose shoulders all future Autechre releases stand, even the most radical. But Autechre could never stand still and simply replicate Incunabula all over n billion times; that's simply not the cloth they're cut from, and if that was the case I'd be very hard-pressed to think they'd feel as relevant as they do with every subsequent release. That they could drop, in sequence, Exai, the whole five records of elseq and the NTS Sessions boxset and still elicit the electrified reactions they did, both positive and negative.

One of the first serious conversations about music that I had with my old band's bassist was about electronic music, which was actually somewhat foundational to my appreciation of this particular art form (I was a die-hard Daft Punk/Justice guy, Waters of Nazareth and Genesis were to me what Metallica or System of a Down to a number of other people I know: a show of force that made me conscious of the physical impact of sound on a human's body, not just pleasant vibrations to the ears). She told me - and I'm willing to bet that was an old idea that she has since discarded - that she really didn't feel like electronic music was alive, and with music being "life" to her that was a true oxymoron that rendered her incapable of objectively judging electronica. At the time I would have never showed her Autechre, if anything because I did not know them if not by name, but my current understanding of them makes them the most serious counterargument to that affirmation. Autechre's music doesn't try to measure up to the feel of live band jamming because it doesn't need to, despite it often being (according to Booth and Brown) the result of lengthy, additive improvisations that the duo trade back and forth. It simply takes a step sideways, making all analysis on those terms essentially unserviceable and useless. And if it wasn't as massively pretentious as it is, this shit simply wouldn't fly: any tension to a conventionally-imaginable sense of humanity would make it clear that the duo aren't into it really, and ironically it ends up feeling less believable; it starts breathing weird, it turns into a captatio benevolentiae to the listener. And Autechre is meant to challenge us, or rather it's meant to challenge me, and Sean Booth and Rob Brown.

Ironically enough, Autechre's records feel more and more rewarding the more you get familiar with them, and therefore it turns into its own peculiar brand of process music, so to speak. And it's a hell of a process, granted, but it definitely has something to say to you as a listener, if you're willing to give it a shot. Autechre's music is incomprehensible and useless, if you don't know what to make of it, but the only way to know what to make of it is engage in it and make up your own mind about it.

#schismusic #autechre #musica #sean booth #rob brown #warp records #idm #electronic music #the discography principle #schism writing

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monstroso · 1 year

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i don't necessarily agree that VELMA was created exclusively to farm social media controversy as a marketing tactic (a take i'm quoting almost verbatim from twitter) - it's just a little *too* tin foil hat for my taste - but I do think it's important that people recognize when the controversy of something that was marketed as being "progressive" is sucking up all the air in the room and when it gets to that point, we should agree to stop talking about it.

the streaming service/network/whatever doesn't care. they've already seen the whole thing! they know what they have isn't salable! they're just trying to shove another turd out the door, and if they can get some hatewatches out of it, all the better. in 3 months, no one will remember this show, and rightly so, but we can actively shorten that amount of time by agreeing that it sucks and taking our discussions to private discord servers. starve them of the attention they so desperately want, don't talk about shit that sucks.

#i need a new text post tag i guess #this isn't @ anybody specifically #a lot of people i know: scooby doo fans and animation folks alike are really upset by how the show turned out #and that's completely 100% okay. it's alright to be upset. especially on tumblr because like nobody is using this as a marketing platform #hbo isn't checking the VELMA 2023 tag on here so like go nuts #but i would discourage talking about it on twitter that's all #velma 2023 #i feel like this same thing happened to Heathers 2018 and the only reason that didn't go the same way was because of. other events

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incarnateirony · 2 years

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I know I shouldn't, but I'm really curious about the bullshit this guy Pat says and I would like to have a look at his twitter, what is his twitter account? You talk about him often but many times I don't get it because it's all out of context to me (like your last post with the picture from TW trailer, what happens there?)

shooting an answer before work. Pat uses some variant Of TeamFreeWillTwoPointO on every platform like tfwtwopointo etc. Don't let the name fool you, it fooled many for years, he's a jared stan that does everything he can to minimize and stomp down jensen and other successes and greatly inflate and dramatize Jared's successes. It's a mix of propaganda account and wanna-be leaker

Things Pat has argued with me on saying "his sources" told him:

My statement about the ending: order of death, roadhouse reunion, etc. Pat mocked this not coming true. Radio silence when Dabb clarified the original ending, which Pat never had access to, only the late omitted one. I'd say that was more than his version where he was talking about "a battle for Dean's soul" I sent someone to correct him on that he never picked up on.

THAT anything was omitted. He rabidly denied it and acted like it was in tact, not WANTING to admit a considerably modified finale. Then, the script came. This is why he worked so hard WITH. KELIOS. AND. CO. to try to get the script to have control of it. They spent 5K, we spent 25, and ultimately, well. You know. [Omitted.]

I wrote a post about Jensen having a hard time letting go and moving on. Many posts, actually. The first came the December after the finale, when I "speculated", attached to that phrase, that he was working on something to help his character resolution--the Mary and John details didn't come for several more months as the decided/accepted/inked pitch/deal. Roughly 2 months before the Deadline leak and mantrum day. And, for many months, I reminded people that Jensen had a hard time Letting Go and Moving On in associated contexts I was trying to inform people on. Pat went out of his way to argue with this and call me wrong and projecting, and then Jensen used the phrases verbatim, almost like I might have been quoting him BTS or something IDK!!! Either way, he brushed that under the rug.

I released the pilot script. Pat screamed up and down that his sources said it was fake, totes real CM sources. I know who, that person tried to argue with me too. I knew they were wrong, cuz they couldn't even begin to wrap their heads around why I knew they were wrong. Radio silence since filming and the trailer. Hell my *pinned post* was an effort of explaining like they were five what kind of script it was and what, if any, changes happened. And I mean, give it a skim. Look at filming and the trailer. Tada.

His own friend rings were among the people screaming for SEASONS, until the bitter, awakening end, that Berens had no Destiel intention, or even claimed he supported Wincest, because they had no idea of all the BTS intel about the man or his open secrets of conversations abroad on favorites and intent. He has no concept who anyone is, who they know and are close with, or what these social crossengagements come from. They didn't LIKE the idea that Berens was gunning for Destiel all along, and they denied it, and Pat amplified it. And [gestures at everything] now they're real pressed realizing either he's back, or in the very least, he's boning the showrunner, and might have a teensy little bit of consulting influence.

Now he's out here pitching arguments nobody did. People are out here pointing out the Mise en Scene similarity to purgatory, from gamma lighting to afterlife elements to dean's wardrobe but the goddamn SECOND Pat realized that mise en scene and wardrobe directly anchored Dean to 15.04 and 15.09 specifically, the latter as afterlife fodder, he's losing his mind. "IT'S NOT HAPPENING IN PURGATORY STUPIDS" no shit sherlock we're talking about concepts, story vibes and mise en scene do you fucking understand what this is in your lil peanut brain, pat.

He loves to wave MY SOURCES MY SOURCES MY SOURCES then finally one day when he got pressed he cracked and admitted his source was legit "I have a friend in LA" and "my brother's cousin's boyfriend's best friend worked on a show adjacent to misha once" no I'm not fucking kidding, these are this dude's idea of sources. His only better one is one I use as a tertiary intel source because she's just crawled up from fandom, limited contact, limited perspective, limited development insight, and a LOT of other reasons making her intel complicated to parse.

He tries DESPERATELY to echo me, in some futile attempt to pretend "anyone can do what Min does!!" like he tries to spec unannounced actors and stuff and misses the mark EVERY TIME because he does NOT know this industry, he does NOT know how to qualify leads, and he does NOT know how to keep his media muggle thoughts and biases out of coloring in the information he gets.

So yeah. That's Pat.

He's pressed af and looking to swing against the very obvious patterns going on here. IDK why he thinks that'll change the result.

This man is goddamn OBSESSED with arguing with everything I release, and ALWAYS buries it resultingly making an ass out of himself. He wants real, real bad how to figure out how to do what I do or how to have what I have and my god will he throw his daily temper tantrums to display it.

More often than not, Pat's "intel" is a small whisper of accurate information that means very little without context, that he then appends violently wrong opinions all over to the point the original whisper is unintelligible from itself, leading to him putting out giant editorialization and opinion pieces and trying to call them Inside Information. When not a soul that's worth a damn has ever sat down and talked with him. Promise.

I don't know if he's aware he's doing it, but that's his weakness every time. He can't sort out his wants, dreams, dislikes and fan ambitions from when he does get a nublet of information and decides to figure out how that nublet of information fits into his world view, rather than finding accessory information to understand the world that information exists in and how it interacts with, yknow, reality.

Because in a way, it does feel like Him and His have some sort of derealization going on. Like if they argue and do enough backflips and brush enough failures under the rug, that if they argue REAL HARD and wish on their ring of INFINITE WISHES, reality will change the result for them, and I'm sorry, no matter how many dumb posts Pat, Pathyrn or loljackles (don't get me started on the "pre successful actor" that argued against global industry decline and then whipped it out when walker was failing in 18-35, incorrectly) publish, that's not how it works.

None of these folks actually have a building understanding of what IS, just a million things they want to scream it isn't, whether or not it's coherent, related to the information at hand or resonant with common sense resulting. They have NO fuckin spec, much less ACTUAL INFORMATION, on where this shit IS heading, they're just actively pissing themselves day-in-day-out screaming "NO!!!!"

If Pat put in like. Five minutes. Five minutes of not wanting to argue with something he doesn't like. Five minutes of applying, to me even, the same sort of pattern solving he SHOULD be, but never does, with his "info". That if he put together all the posts in all the world that he wiped out embarrassed on, and me being more accurate than his supposed CM source I told was wrong to their face, and all the other information I'm putting out around it ahead of the curve like actors and writers he can't keep up with that like. He could kinda. Figure out what's happening here. And stop embarrassing himself.

But he won't.

Read between the FUCKING lines, pat.

I'm out here leaking shit as far as episode 3 and these ding dongs still can't wrap their heads around the pilot.

So how about you pack this in your pipe and smoke it: the team not only fully intends to address the confession in this property, but are holding open discourse on the when, where, how, considering the potential accordion nature of the show for a few years.

He's gonna call me a liar. I'm gonna not care. Because it's happening.

It's one of the primary arcs that need to be adjusted to the show arcs if there's an accordion. I need everyone that doesn't like this to start wrapping their fucking grey matter around it right now. It doesn't matter if you like it. The people creating it, Jensen included, do, and have it on the priority plot list

I rarely state my info this directly as much as weaved through supposed theories with some public facing receipts. But fuck it. I'm gonna say it outright and it needs to be said.

jensen isn't who you think he is, Pat2 and lolj. Like. I can not emphasize that enough. Jensen. Is not who you little lot think he is. I'm not saying this... blindly or parasocially as some kind of fan. I'm just sitting here saucer eyed that you haven't figured out what's happening here yet. Even just from your outside views looking in pretending you understand it Inside. Like. There's a certain point I gotta raise my brow and ask what psychic block there is to pretend not to see it even public facing. Much LESS things said behind closed doors. Many of which you have argued with my posts on. Such as Let Go and Move on. Which is honestly, something YALL need to do. He's not what you want him to be any more than Berens was what you wanted him to be all those many years you screamed in denial only to get a gay pie to the face

dumb fuck arguing with my posts basically arguing with jensen or thompson the last year as pre-release of later statements from them because they can't cope that they're real people and not narrative toys for Pat to play with on tumblr.

ok?

ok.

cool.

bye.

#mildew #supernatural #the winchesters

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fox-daddy · 7 months

Text

Incorrect quotes now with my MC's because nobody can stop me.

TW: swearing, mild nsfw jokes

Hunter: You know Julian, because of pregnant people the average number of skeletons inside a person is never one

Julian: what the f-

valdemar: no, let them speak

~~~

Asra: your future self is watching you through your memor-

Julian: not if I drink enough alcohol. Take that you prying creep!

~~~

Asra: for some reason people are scared of staring into the vast depths of the ocean that is actually only a few miles deep. Yet find comfort staring into the endless abyss that is the sky above us

Kyle: that's because gravity doesn't drag you into the abyss

The Magician: not yet :)

Kyle: And what the fuck does that mean?

~~~

Bluebell: someone has drunk more alcohol than anyone else in the world and they don't even know it.

Lucio: of course I know him, he's me

~~~

Asra: what is C for?

Hunter dressed up as cookie monster: C4 is a fucking explosive

Asra: No, what is, C, for?

Hunter:... C is for Cock

Asra: what's your costume?

Hunter: cookie monster

~~~

Hunter holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me- tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit!

Mushroom: can you feel your heat burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters

Hunter cocks gun tears streaming down their face: I'M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

Julian: hey, Hunter, what the fuck does this mean?

Hunter: decay exists as an extant form of life

Julian: That's a- that's a terrifying answer, have a nice day

~~~

Hunter: I love cheating, if you don't cheat what the hell is wrong with you?

Nadia: have you ever been cheated on?

Hunter: Oh shit, I forgot some people are in relationships. To clarify I love to violate academic integrity on exams

~~~

Bluebell: top hats imply the existence of a bottom hat

Kyle: cat ears

Hunter: why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?

~~~

Kyle: how to start discourse. 'insert favorite person' is a 'insert favorite Hogwarts house'

Hunter: Julian is a power-bottom and not enough people talk about it

Kyle: I don't think that sentence starts discourse so much as ends any conversation before it even starts

~~~

Hunter: nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

Bluebell: Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time

Kyle: you might think your safe, but horses are omnivores

~~~

Hunter: standing up and blacking out for a few seconds is just transitioning from a cutscene to the actual gameplay

Julian: you need to eat some salt is what that means

~~~

Hunter: the cis are all like 'but won't children be confused' but every interaction I've ever had with a child who didn't know what to call me has gone verbatim like this

"why are you wearing a dress"

"because I can"

"Okay. Do you like animals?"

Bluebell: kids are very busy and have got much more important things to think about, such as their favorite animals

~~~

Hunter: okay, brain, don't freak out, but we've come across a minor inconvenience

Hunter's brain already dousing itself in gasoline: that's unfortunate

~~~

Kyle with ADHD, ASD and mild dyspraxia/Dislexia: I'll stop making jokes about mental illness, when mental illness stops making a joke out of me *laugh slowly turns into pained chuckle*

~~~

Kyle: isn't it crazy how depending on your mental state you can either spill a glass of water and be like 'HAHAHA OOPS CLUMBSY ME' or spill a glass or water and be like 'MY LIFE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE, I DESTORY EVERYTHING I TOUCH, NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME AND MY WET FUCKING FLOOR'

~~~

Kyle: It's Halloween let's do something REALLY SCARY

Hunter: we could go to bed early and be alone with our thoughts

~~~

Kyle when trying to force themselves to learn something they have no care about nor interest in;

~~~

Hunter: why do I feel terrible?

hunter's body: coffee is not a meal, eat a vegetable, sleep, PLEASE!!!

Hunter: guess I'll never know

Hunter's body screaming internally: Oh my god!!!

~~~

Kyle: checking the clock before starting something*

Kyle's ADHD: well it's 9:14 which might as well be 9:30 and that's basically 10 which is almost 11 and I have to be in bed by 11 so I don't have time to start anything

~~~

Kyle: everyone is so much taller than me, I get to be picked up so often, just whenever I want! I just have to ask and it's GREAT! Now if only I could actually see where I was going through this stupid crowd.

Portia: I will make them pay for the way I was treated. The streets will run red with the blood of those who mocked me. All shall perish before the rage of the opressed. My vengeance draws near-

#the arcana game #the arcana mc #asra the arcana #the arcana apprentice #the arcana original character #fan apprentice #the arcana memes

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