#please ignore this im exhausted

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye

#im still So Inconsistent when scribbling him #he never comes out the same way twice #but then again. do any of us? #anyway i think the Misfortune of the past week finally killed my brain #its a tiny smoking poppy seed resting in the middle of my skull floor #too much all at once. cant art anymore #i keep pulling out my tablet and setting up to draw #and then i stare at the screen feeling mild to intense discomfort #i try to scribble. it comes out Horrible. #i put my tablet away and go stand in the middle of the kitchen #i come back to scroll on tumblr #i feel Despair. rinse and repeat #scribble salad #is it distressing? yes! one more to add to the ever-growing pile! #i need to start pre-packing for my inevitable move #sigh... dont wanna go.... #but its not like i have a choice! i quite literally have a single option which is to say! no option at all! #apparently if im in a constant state of severe stress for long enough my creativity completely breaks. shattered right down the middle #too exhausted. the Despair is too strong #and once again i am accidentally venting on a scribble post! sorry! please ignore this im just Saying Shit

[ganondoodle]

as cool as their design is im really starting to dislike the sonau in general, aside from their stuff suddendly being everywhere and everything being about them and how cool(tm) they are now with the mystery stone turning people into dragons and the similarities between the sonau and the three dragons (naydra, eldra, farodra) its actually not an impossibility that they used to be sonaus as alot of people have been theorizing about ..but ...... idk that would very much ruin their otherwordly yet ethereal mystery to me

i probably sound like some hater whos trying to find something more to dislike about totk all the time but i promise im not!!

the three dragons being some unexplained mystery, beings that are there yet few can see them, timeless, nigh untouchable, they dont act on anything, they dont talk, something about them has always made me look at them in awe; if it turned out they were just yet another cool(tm) sonau guy that ate a stone ... :/

not a fan of that one lads, but dont worry, i will keep my thoughts to myself from now on, i dont want to ruin other peoples fun nor seem like i just hate everything ... the three dragons are just really important to me so i had to say something

#ganondoodles talks #tloz #totk #totk spoilers #totk spoiler #besides i have leanred that i tend to have the unpopular opinions and frankly im tired of the hate directed at me #if you disagree thats fine but please dont spam me with why you think its cool actually #bc it just feels like yet another argument starting as to why im wrong and need to be talked down to and also suck actually #sorry its been all over my timeline on twitter so i just had to throw my dumbass opinion out there again #and it was a few times more than id like in a row where my random thought posts where torn apart by arguing people needing to prove im wron #the dragons where something i just absolutely loved in botw #they hold a special place in my heart and i dont like the thought of them too being just yet another sonau thing #i feel more secure posting my thoughts here than on twitter #but still i dont want to sound overly negative so i will hold back from now on #unless im exhausted and overly tired and not feeling that great physically like right now i guess lol #ill just have to grit my teeth and try to ignore everything i dont like but everyone else loves like always #anyway i need some sleep #ill be fine after that i think #and then try to resume work on destiny and a commission i havent had the energy to get to

[fauxwife]

hey guys. i'm super tired lately, i gotta be honest. this new schedule is really kicking my ass. in the best way !!! i love it. but. it's just taken a toll on me lately. i plan to be back around to write on here and my other blogs eventually, but i want to do it on my own time w/o feeling like i HAVE to be somewhere. i say this all the time kfcjgkf but yk. i feel like people do depend on me in places.

i did something really brave and bought a game for a franchise that made me really the person i am now. it's a game that really got me through some of the worst years of my life as a child.

i had a falling out w/ a couple friends though about a year ago now and we bonded over the game when we were close (mostly bc i got them into it) and once we fell out, i just stopped touching it bc i had grown attached to thinking about them when i played the game. i also bought a novel pertaining to the game too and it's been collecting dust since i bought it (which sucks but what can you do)

my husband had a talk w/ me last night. he said to me that i love this franchise more than anything, and i shouldn't let bad people ruin a game that changed my life. so, i decided in that moment that i was gonna take it back. like, i can't let these bad negative thoughts ruin me. and i can't let these people be a part of me anymore.

i know this is sooo weird and corny to say, but i'm playing the game tonight w/ my husband. and i'm excited and nervous. it feels liberating to admit that i am no longer looking back at any bad, toxic energy, and instead am looking to just love something that means more to me than any of these big fallouts w/ friends and it's like a chapters finally ending. like, i'm closing it and it's not in my sights anymore.

i also hope that if any of you are going through something similar, that you'll be able to overcome your own hurt and sadness when the time is right.

SO.. ANYWAY.. SORRY FOR MAKING A REALLY LONG AND KIND OF DEPRESSING POST, but yeah. <3 i had to share it here !! i've made some good pals in this fandom and i think all of you across my blogs are so nice and supportive, whether you've known me previously or are a new friend. i'm happy you are here. mwahhh <3

#❀ ᶜⁱⁿⁿᵃᵐᵒⁿ ʳᵒˡˡ ˢᵘᵖʳᵉᵐᵃᶜʸ. ( ooc ) #[ IDK IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT #IM TALKING ABOUT. #it's like when u get broken up w/ #except i wasn't getting broken up w/ #so. i think i will forever kind of be #scarred but #if i can just stop associating this game #i love with ex friends #i'll be good to go. #if i don't answer tho #PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT AS ME IGNORING U #i'm totally not. #just exhausted #and putting my mind elsewhere.

[waterfallofspace]

Little mostly positive waterfall ramble/rant under the cut~ (warning, I do swear a lil haha~ and feel free to ignore ofc!~)

Finally got the dumb panic-induced false confidence nerve to tell one of my only two in-person (well, one province over, but USED to be in person till earlier this year) friends about The Kink. I've told a handful of internet friends before, but never an actual real life friend I might have to see in person one day.

He actually took it really well, my other irl friend (of 15 years, his girlfriend, known him only about 3-4) would not want to know, we just don't have that type of relationship, she doesn't have that comfort level, but me and him have always been able to have deep and honest talks~

I was. Honestly scared out of my fucking mind. We were in call, but I typed the messsage and then IMMEDIATELY deafened until he read it, but once I got back we had a good talk, he asked a few questions, we made a few jokes, and overall the mood didn't change at all.

I'm honestly always so worried people will think I'm getting off to them sn--zing every time... or anyone else who does... which, ofc, just isn't how it works, but he didn't even consider that. (and made a few joking-yet-honest comments that even if I did get off to him snzing, he wouldn't honestly care. Which knowing him, is completely true~)

Anyways, this is a bit of a random/personal thing to post, but I've been so deeply ashamed of this part of me for so long, and then only recently started feeling more comfortable, and I've been toying/struggling with the idea of telling him for almost a year now, so to finally do it, and get such a good response... honestly it just feels so good. I don't think anything's gonna change in our dynamic, or get weird in any way, and that fills me with so much relief. (and yes, he knows I have a tumblr, but he promised not to search for it thank GOD)

#waterfallrants #waterfallrambles #waterfallpersonal #thats not a tag but now it is! because this is my blog! and i can do! what i want! #actively using it as a journal at this point but you know what i dont care #im out of my mind right now- literally just got off call my heart is POUNDING #but he took it so well and was like 'oh- that's it??' #the only time he was like 'woah what thats a bit weird' was when i told him how long ive felt this way (since lil child) #but otherwise he was so supportive (in his own 'makes jokes about it but gives genuine comfort with them' way) #and honestly it feels. so refreshing?? that now he.... i guess TRULY knows me?? like- knows this side of me. knows ME me #idk guys please feel free to ignore this honestly might even delete it later idk but im just kinda exhausted in a good way #it was a good talk (liek we always have) and im honestly not sure why i was even so worried in the first place ToT

[taegularities]

i fell asleep in the middle of answering an ask and like.. i think that's my cue to go to bed :')

#im not ignoring anyone #it's just.. the last few weeks have been hell and i barely get to breathe and to be here even less #my body and mind are exhausted #apologies y'all #i love you #please never let this stop you from sending stuff.. keep the love coming bc it keeps me sane these days #and comforts me so much <3 christmas break soon so ill be here more too #anyway nobody asked shut up rid JFHSHD #good night 🤍

[socialc1imb]

Sky Social Climb lore is wildin rn because of the two little characters ive created one is become terrible intrusive thought please please dont listen to her and the other is far too uncaring to do anything but blindly follow and god i need to draw them maybe it would help

#sorry im just talking and tired #absolutely exhausted #and mid panic attack i think #sorry its fine #ignore these please

[thesingingrevolution]

tgaa/dgs 1-5 spoilers

okay so it’s been a while since i’ve properly played but im traveling for Easter break so i have had plenty of time on the plane day to get through the trial and now i’m on part 4. i just heard the music box and before i progress any further allow me to present my logic and reasoning spectacular. when i heard the sound emanating from the disk i immediately thought it must be morse code, and at first i questioned myself, like maybe this is just rush fan brainrot, but then i remembered the article given to me right before the trial about the spies selling information, and then i also remembered ashley is a communications officer so it all makes sense and now i feel like a genius, please let this be it please 🤲🏻

#elementary! #pls let me be right #i was lowkey struggling during the 3rd half because i was away from the game for a week #3rd half im so stupid #please ignore that #my brain is literally exhausted i am an overworked college student. i promise i know what a half is #i kinda wanna keep it because it’s a lil funny #so dont laugh at me laugh with me #anyway i was busy #so i kinda lost my rhythm and forgot some details about the evidence #and there’s so much in this case so i had to read and reread #so getting this immediately would be amazing. pls #the great ace attorney

[heart-bones]

absolutely reeling at the tswft saga today like I promise you don't have to defend her this much I understand but we're not gonna agree on it

#the never-exhausting lists of her lyrics being analyzed by ivy league specialists and how she writes for the human experience and #how if u dont like her its just misogyny and ignorance because just saying you dont like her style is saying you dont like any style #since she writes in every genre #and saying u dont like her is a statement #like its not that deep its going to be okay #i had to apologize because at one point i said 'i m eee a n 🤔' #and she got so upset #like girl its okay that its the one thing keeping you alive its okay that it's yours #i just need you to understand that its Not Mine!! #and its OKAY #we are livin on two different planets im not gonna make fun of you for your music taste? its preference! its taste! #i don't like her voice. what I've heard of her music is not anything i want to listen to #and i should be able to let that be my only contribution to the discussion without you trying to tell me I'm Wrong #please #she is a celebrity and i guarantee she does not care about you or how much you defend her

[professionaljester]

how the fuck do people make friends online lol

#abc shut it #vent #or in general #im so fucking lonely lol i cant even play games anymore bc thats cringe wow your so lonely looser #i dont draw anymore bc it doesnt fullfill me bc i have no one to share it with and no one cares #i wish my existence was acknowledge besides when im wrong and being stupid or lashing out and being mean bc ive hit my limit with being #treated lesser than those around me #for a fundamental flaw in my whole being and soul that i cannot fix and ppl wont tell me what it is #I feel like im screaming PLEASE SEE ME PLEASE HEAR ME #and everyone just fucking ignores me what am i doing wrong can someone tell me what im doing wrong #im so self aware to the point of exhaustion and i still fuck up and dont know whats wrong with me #please just someone help me and tell me #i feel like i have no one and cant rely on others please #im at my wits end #if i cant buy a house and still feel this lonely by 30 im ending it all i cant live in a world this terrible anymore #idk i feel like the people i do have in my life cant even bother to makle the time for me and i cant even have a moment to dicuss that with #them #bc they never text me back or are never around long enough to have that conversation with me #or if i cant make it known im treated like an idioit for feeling that way and i shouldnt be so selfish that ppl dont wanna make time for me #i just wanna feel like im cared and loved for in return is that too much to ask for #the people i care about i feel dont care as much for me as i do them #and if they do they dont show it to me at all #all i do is get belittled and treated like a child and talked over #i cant do it anymore

[rhaenyras]

#im exhausted. i mean it. on every level i feel so drained #anyway y'all are lucky not to have me on ig #only 10% of my sisyphean exploits ends up leaking to tumblr #the rest stays largely on ig where i can be ignored louder or even offended and banned for it #redpilled scum and incels please dni

[sunshinereddie]

:|

#big rant just ignore #can my parents please stop asking me when im going to get a boyfriend #every time they ask (which has been a lot esp recently) it makes me want to pull my hair out #well mom and dad there’s plenty of reasons for why im single #maybe because im very much closeted and you’re both homophobic! #maybe because im so depressed that i use so much of my energy just trying to stay alive and the thought of seeking out a relationship #is just too exhausting to even think about! #but neither of you believe in ‘depression’ so i can’t get help for it! #maybe because of all the things you’ve said to me throughout my life that has made me feel like im unlovable! #the list can go on and on and on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #but ofc i can’t say any of that and i just have to shrug and change the subject and dread the next time they ask #sigh #i cannot wait to move out :/

[thewenglishwarlock]

.

#personal #sent off a large portion of my thesis for review yesterday #and like im just filled with anxiety today #i hate sending work for review #it feels like giving someone permission to emotionally devistate me in 3 to 5 business days #and like ive tried very hard with this but ive never got a good grasp on evaluating the quality of my writing #which makes things hard #like i think the work is good and i know its comprehensive #but however whatever comments i get back will make my brain tell me i did a bad job yannow? #anyway all this goblin wants is to go to an lgs and get models and cardboard and hide but no can do #like ive been working a lot of late nights and weekends on this stuff recently and im just kinda exhausted #anyway please ignore me i just wanted to whine into the void

[anonymouslymadebydesign]

Sorry i haven’t been working on the asks ! Ive got a few responses drafted, but nothing seems to stick quiet how i want it to. Hopefully i can finish em soon (╯‿╰,)

Not only has work kept me busy these past couples days but I’m also preparing for A-Kon ! I haven’t gone to this particular convention since 2019 , so I’m kinda nervous to go, especially since my cosplays are a little scandalous (╯ω╰,)

BUT ! I get off around noon each day this weekend (yippie!) so that’s when I’m plannin’ on finishing up my drafts and respondin to everyone

#im so sorry #im incredibly exhausted #ive been dealing with fully body aches for two days now #my whole body aches #im trying to be upbeat but oh god #anyways #im genuinely sorry #I feel like im slacking and ignoring you guys #please know I’m not im just incredibly overwhelmed #wally darling #welcome home arg #frank frankly #howdy pillar #julie joyful #poppy partridge #sally starlet #barnaby b beagle #eddie dear #welcome home

[subsequentibis]

that one guy who gets way too mad at cheryl awfulhospital for existing is my fucking nemesis

#ignore me #i dont want to be mad at ppl on the internet like this but he is so exhausting #like how do you live like that? getting so angry about a fictional character you make a fool of yourself #in front of hundreds of people like. every update. like clockwork. #im tired of seeing his shit can he please get banned #LITERALLY god forbid women do anything

[moth-mayh3m]

i dont. ghhhfdhm. i dont like it here anymore. i wanna go. eeoeugugghhh

#why did my game mode switch from medium to hard mode so quickly wtf #i've felt the same way i have since august 2022 :( my birth month. #im so tired both physically (not exhaustion related mostly) and mentally #god. #this is probably just because i missed two days of school in a row but just. i feel like im slowly being distanced from my friends and #everything seems to Bland and Indifferent #and when its not boring its. its painful #went to mad at me island and it was Just Me There (me mayor)/ref #uguugughfhfffgghhh #vent post #please ignore this if you arent in a good place yourself but also. some. some reassurance would also be nice #its not needed though

[lupismaris]

The way black sails festers in your brain forever, my friend was asking whether my recovery rough patch was normal and i said yes, your mind thinks you're all better, the body rebels, it's a violent thing, becoming new, you know but it'll pass

And now Flint's "all life begins in violence and wailing, it will pass" is just

echoing incessantly

#im pointedly not thinking about silvers reply because he's right and tbh everything leading up to this was #a lot of things end that way too but i appreciate the optimism #so they can both fuck off #its been a long shit day and id like to stop crying please #i dont know how much of this is the hormone drop and how much of this is insomnia and how much of this is emotions ive ignored for weeks #but this is exhausting #maybe ill restart black sails and make the break down worth something