#postal dude hcs

[mfuro]

some more goofy ah ah postal dude headcanons

this is mostly about p2 dude soooo.... (WARNING VERY RAMBLY)

Was and still is one of those people that you could have paid them to make you a geocities website for you if you didnt know how to code

speaking of school i do think he probably has an associates and thats it, went to community college and had a straight 2.0-2.5 GPA and passed for a degree he barely uses (till he gets the RWS job honestly)

i think dude 100% found champ one day, just a really ratty looking puppy full of worms under his trailer one day. thats his dog now

gonna be real honest, dude is probably not the best dog owner but he really tries (for more elaboration you can ask im very passionate about animal care/content because i spent literal hours researching for my fic....)

OH YEAH the bitch, i can see them getting married like, right out of college/soon after, you got to be at least a bit young and dumb to tattoo 'Dude' on your collarbone like she did...

the marriage was most likely for image on dudes part and at first infatuation on the bitch’s part. 

dude needs constant stimulation or else he is forced to think about his life choices and will have a crisis

insomniac, he hasnt been able to sleep on his own bed since the bitch decided it was hers now

dude is very repressed, hes bisexual and kind of refuses to acknowledge that he likes men even a little bit unless he is forced to think about it or has feelings for -gasp- a man

probably genuinely likes krotchy and the whole franchise as a whole

UMMM …. I think he might age-regress in some form or manner if given the chance, he never had a childhood he saw other kids at school or on tv had so he desperately craves for it even if its in the back of his mind 

he definitely is autistic, no way of escaping that assigned neurodivergency

people like writing that he has ‘vibrant’ green eyes but , ngl i see them as very dull and tired, i dont think theres really much energy behind them

probably has a very limited palate for food, comes from a variety of causes

would not know what the fuck to do if given a genuine bit of kindness from someone, hes so used to being forced to pay back for something or for it to go wrong hed be speechless

has body image issues, he thinks hes too tall and too skinny… he hates his red hair and his nose and everything, would be very content on not being perceived by anyone because he is not what he thinks the world expects him to be 

UHHH THATS MOSTLY WHAT IS ON MY MIND AT THE MOMENT BUT I MIGHT TALK SOME MORE ABOUT HIM. also if anyone would be interested in specific headcanons i have about other dudes let me know (i also really dont mind if someone asks me about nsfw hcs because im a pest of an adult. lol)

#postal #postal dude #postal 2 #dude hcs #headcanon #postal dude hcs #please let me ramble MORE

[bugcouncil]

yea i'll give you a light hold on lemme just put these suckers away

#bugs art #mentol illness will not win i can still draw shit IT AINT EVEN THE FART #postal #postal 2 #postal dude #p2 #hc is he's a fuckin slinky of a man. unhealthy twigm hipbones jutting out uncomfortably

[couldtransitionsaveher]

POSTAL DUDE from POSTAL 2

JUSTIFICATION:

"Would be awesome 👍" - Anonymous

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

Did you make your daily click today?

#could transition have saved her #postal dude #postal 2 #transgender #trans hc #anonymous submission

[napsfork-brainrot]

Hallo can you give me some horny stoner hc's of the postal dude (specifically postal 4?? why is he a dilf). Obvs any gender for this request, pretty please and thank you. Hope ur doing well

you bet ur sweet bippy i can do that. and hope ur doing well too!

(NSFW UNDER CUT‼️)

Stoner P4 Dude hcs:

Since Dude is a bit of an older man (at least in Postal 4), I think he would smoke weed as both a recreational thing and a medicinal thing to help with body pain.

One of Dude's favorite activities to do when he gets high is to have sloppy sex with you. It won't even matter what position you're in, whether he's top or bottom, he is down for ANYTHING.

The first time you experienced this was... Well, it was a fuckin TRIP lemme tell ya.

At first, you thought he was just being needy and wanted attention. Touching all on your legs, running his hands through your hair, even leaving hickeys and licks on your neck.

You couldn't even ask him what the fuck he was doing before he suddenly pulled you close to him, the musk of the weed on his breath and the scent of his sweat/nicotine hybrid smell filling your nostrils.

"Hey. We should... We should fuck- like... now, babe."

The MILLISECOND you agree, you are already being dragged to his room with him taking his pants off and shedding his purple robe.

Whatever his usual supplier puts in that stuff makes him an ANIMAL in bed. He's already pretty good in bed without drugs, but when he's on that good shit, he is PLOWING you into that mattress.

A lot of grunting and growling as he thrusts, his hands using your shoulders for support as he pushes deeply into you.

A downside is that he sometimes cums a bit too quickly, but he'll try to keep going until you cum.

Another downside is that he's not as rough as he usually is when it comes to keeping you overstimulated so that you cum even more. When he's sober, he LOVES to hear you whine and beg for him to let you cum. However, when he's buzzed out of his mind, he is way more laid back on this.

This still doesn't stop him from being a bit rough with you (if you want him to be.) He'll still give you light slaps on the ass, pull your hair, maybe even spit in your mouth if you tell him to.

When you both finish, the aftercare is still about the same as when he's sober. He'll get up and get you anything you need, but the minute you say you're okay, he collapses next to you and wraps you in his arms.

He'll say some NASTY shit to you during sex, but the aftercare is a lot of praise and worship. Especially making comments about how he loves every whimper that leaves those precious lips of yours.

teehee :3c

#postal dude #postal #postal dude x reader #postal hcs #postal 4 #p4 dude #x reader

[z0m-bunny]

would you guys kill me with hammers if i said i don’t think p1 dude is skinny. is that allowed can i say that

#postal #postal dude #i also hc nottem as fat. he’s not super buff in my brain. idc. #i actually also hc the other dudes as not skinny for the most part except for like. p2 and brain damaged

[transedyourfav]

Postal Dude from Postal is transmasc!

requested by anon

#.transing #postal dude #postal #transgender #trans hc #your fave is #trans

[sarmaleattheseaside]

More uncle Dude au doodles

#postal #invader zim #iz #postal dude #dib membrane #gaz membrane #salmonart #i couldnt bother to finish the first drawing im sorry besties #anyway im on a roll with posting art! i had a handful of it but i didnt feel like posting it at all #so at least im posting it now #back to the au: they remind me of the pines twins and grunkle stan which is very wholesome #also hc that Dude takes them to the most dangerous-ass places but if theres an actual danger he mauls what could potentially hurt the kids #uncle dude au

[braaindamaged]

Redux Dude HCs anybodyyyyy

obligatory I HC dude to have DID moment. ok

Redux is tricky because he totally fucks with the timeline. His journal entries are dated 2017, so that makes it seem like Dude went postal AGAIN 20 yours later and wrecked Paradise in the exact same way he did in 1997. This coulda happened, but in my lil world I got other ideas to zest it up.

Redux Dude is obviously a mix of P1 and P2, right down to his very design. This gives me the idea that Redux Dude must be the result of P1 and P2 co-fronting, sort of like a merged consciousness, and being triggered while all tangled up in their brain. (I'll have to come up with exactly what causes this later)

But they don't start killing just because they're triggered. They remove themself from whatever the trigger is and go home first of all. They're in a tizzy, it's hard to tell who is who and if there's someone else influencing them or if this is just "an episode". It being "an episode" is what it's chalked up to by a very disjointed and disoriented Dude that can't even tell who he's supposed to be at present.

P3 is completely blocked out during this time. He can't intervene, he might not even know whats going on. This P1xP2 blurring situation wholly takes over the front to the point P3 might as well not exist.

From there they start writing their manifesto again, journaling extremely concerning things regarding God and death and the warped view on what Dude considers to be right and just. But no one is around to see it. Dude has no one at this time, not that his ex-wife would have done shit for him anyway.

Regardless, he's "alone" and scared out of his mind and the only other being outside his body who gives a shit is his dog Champ. It's too familiar of a situation. Dissociation his happening so severely, too. It's a truly terrifying experience, one neither P1 or P2 can handle. So Dude's head does what it's good at and creates a guy who can.

Redux is that guy! He's one mean, violent motherfucker. He doesn't have a sense of humor outside thinking it's funny to make others feel as shit as he does. He's kind of a narc, but it isn't genuine. He just talks like he's got a big dick to try and intimidate everyone around him. Once he's a fully formed headmate, the others find out that he's all talk as far as the system is concerned very quickly.

He is capable of all the daily tasks required of the Dudes. He showers them, feeds them, etc. They don't go without. The problem is, Redux's idea of problem solving. He doesn't make it in the front long before he's murdered someone over something petty, convinced they wronged him personally.

Also! Fun thing here! Redux refuses to use the body's voice for anything but hateful shit. He is selectively mute, to use a correct term, but he's never said anything nice out loud in his short life. He will be genuine in headspace. Sometimes. But it's kind of his whole thing that he takes no shit and his walls are built up so high no one can get in to pester him.

I saw someone elses HC mentioning that he is easy to embarrass and I endorse that 100%. He's way too up tight and he can't take a joke.

Now for the burning question.... Does Redux shoot up Paradise AGAIN....................... Yes. :) thank u

#pdhc #postal dude #also to the person in my asks saying “share hcs” HERE U GO #RD

[nightynite]

I thought this would be neat and precise, but this kind of ended up being a ramble about the Postal Dudes and how their system works. And my interpretations of them, I guess. Anyway, if you're curious to learn about Red, Dude, and Cowboy, click the read more, because I am scared as shit to post something this long without making it easily skippable.

Let's begin, shall we?

Red: Postal 1 Dude, was the host of the system for most of childhood/teen/young adult years. After 1997, he stopped. He's extremely guarded and doesn't like getting to close anyone--something that's stuck throughout the entire system and all the years they've been alive. He's quiet and doesn't like speaking often, and will avoid talking if he can really help it. Sometimes, he'll freeze up mid-sentence and be unable to continue verbally for a couple minutes. Due to how DID works, it's most likely that Red started /existing/ during childhood, and whoever was THE original kid Dude, is no longer a thing. Red formed specifically to take on everything the kid originally had to, and was hostile, reactive, and paranoid to survive. During this time as he was growing up though, along with delusions and hallucinations, he had another voice beside him. Dude, though he has been mistaken for the Demon: Postal 2 Dude, the main host of the system up until the car crash that formed Cowboy, sometimes called Green or Three (usually by mistake, or because Cowboy got too embarrassing), and after the 11 years spent in Catharsis or whatever. The Postal Dude himself, Dude, is a rather... Combustible person. He tries to play along with the people he meets and knows, but is ultimately always dragged down into a spiral of wanting to stop living this horrible life he's in. Something always goes wrong, he has nothing to live for besides Champ, and no matter what he does, he's never been able to escape the Hell that he's been stuck in for all these years. He's mostly selfish, in the sense that he's much more likely to run from a bad situation than help out someone who's in danger--unless there's something in it for him. It's hard for him to care about others, and it's hard for him to meet anyone even remotely sane nowadays. At this point, he's just counting the days until he finally snaps. And snap he did--when he shot himself in the head on Friday and ended up in a twisted hellscape of his own making. Mad Cow Tourettes Zombies are a laughing matter in the face of one million crazy and wacked out Gary Colemans throwing fucking grenades and scissors at you from every direction. I mean, seriously, what was up with that? Were those hospital attendants or just makings of Dude's mind? What the hell was happening? And why the hell were those Colemans so strong? Where the fuck did the grenades come from Anyway, back on track: Cowboy, aka Green, aka Three, aka Loser, aka Dumbass, aka Fuckwit (I'm assuming I don't need to make it any more clear?): Postal 3 Dude, a game I have not bothered playing and instead watched a longplay of because by god, that gameplay is ass. So, he formed after the car crash, and was the first one to wake up. That brain damage mixed with a nuclear blast really does something to a guy, huh? Well, once he was back on the road and fixed up, he went to Catharsis with Champ and did... Some stuff. I'm going to say that stuff was NOT everything shown in the actual game because the story is dumb to me and i think I could rewrite it and make it more fun. Haha, that'd be cool, right? Anyway. Cowboy's the most anxious of the group. He tries to be cool and act like everything's chill and like he's in control of things, when really he's usually not. He's not prone to violence--at least not as much as Dude and Red might be--but he IS going to resort to it if he can't get what he wants in a somewhat tame way. I imagine, if he and Movie dude were to meet, they would like kiss and make out under the moonlight. Who said that Anyway, if you have anything you want to know in particular about these dudes, let me know because I love talking about all my thoughts. and Stuff.

#hi. it's red #talk to me. i dare you #postal #postal 1 #postal dude #postal 2 #postal 3 #postal 2 dude #postal 1 dude #postal 3 dude #postal game #postal 1997 #my hcs #did dude #postal did dude #red #dude #cowboy

[mfuro]

Headcanon / general idea

At least one of the Dude’s listens to mindless self indulgence

Idk msi is a very dude energy band (minus p1)

#postal dude #postal #postal dude hcs #headcanon

[qwuilty]

Hello gay people in my phone im here with another postal 1 dude headcanon

Im still not fully 100% sure what specific voice headcanon i have for him (i think of rick hunter as the seperate demon voice, not actually his) but i imagine he talks kind of slow and really enunciates some of his words, he's been scolded for mumbling too much and people not being able to understand him, so he kind of overcorrected for it.

When he's getting panicked and his heartbeat gets faster his voice tends to speed up though, almost running out of breath before he finishes a sentence. Makes it hard for people to calm him down cause he blurts through sentence after sentence.

He's also the kind of guy who would see you looking at something he's interested in or knows about and would lean in to ask if you know what it's made from before he even says hello, coming off very strongly or off-putting with his foreboding energy, but he just. Genuinely wants to teach people new things.

#the current one i have right now is. mr rodgers- #its not the weirdest one ive had. that belongs to *weird* al. #i dont know if it comes across but i do genuinely think theres a real air of kindness to him and i try to have that come across in my hcs #like he's disturbing and offputting to strangers but if you know him you know hes just trying to help. a real air of warmth to him #it. makes the downfall sadder dont it. #postal dude #postal #postal 1 #im not sure itll show up in the tags since i did those last but hopefully itll show up in my blog search #if yall would like i could post more just of the moment thought headcanons i have like this #they kinda just spark in my head every now and then

[consumed-by-fandom]

I think something I wish I’d make more obvious whenever I write about p1 is how he’s not entirely innocent to his actions in Postal 1. Yes he’s deluded into thinking whats going on around him but even then it takes a certain person to just instantly be ready to slaughter hundreds in the name of survival. Deep down he enjoys the violence, the control, the feeling of having no choice. But he can’t ever admit that to himself because it would destroy him mentally. So constant denial over how he feels 24/7.

P2 is where all that gets funneled into, because he’s certainly honest about his sadism and he doesn’t give a shit. He doesn’t make any excuses for his behaviour. So when p1 feels that way and wants it to go away its a trigger for p2 to front and enjoy it so p1 doesn’t have to deal with the guilt.

P2 doesn’t like how he hides behind him about it. Will just tell him outright he shares the feeling and enjoyment and that he should just accept that and if he feels so bad about it? Stop doing it. Which to be fair after 1997 p1 tries to be a better person, but he WILL use any excuse to fall back into acting that way, all for his safety, all to keep himself safe. But that’s just hiding his desire for it.

Don’t get me wrong p1 wants to be a good person and he’s better morally at some things than p2, AND in those violent moments it is fear leading him. but that doesn’t mean he won’t give into his urges. He’s a deceiver especially to himself. Its something he doesn’t know how to control. Doesn’t mean he can’t though lol.

I love writing characters that aren’t good or bad all the dudes are morally grey and they all have good and bad qualities to them!! Fuck yeah!!!

#its less ‘oh i wanna kill people for funsies lol’ and more ‘i feel like you’re going to hurt me so I’m killing you out of self defence’ #or ‘you’re stressing me out and i need you to disappear’ and the only way to do that is by shooting them point blank in the head lmao #HES NOT LIKE THIS 24/7 but i think he’s not… always lucid. he has moments of poor thinking and these are those moments #anyway saw a lotta cool p1 discussions recently so heres my contribution :p #oh yea this is didude related but you can ignore those parts of this if you don’t subscribe to the system dude hc #headcanons #postal #postal dude #postal 1 #postal 2

[napsfork-brainrot]

Hi, can you make a pdude x fem reader fluff?

ooooh i haven't written fluff in a HOT MINUTE (nor anything for that matter) i gotchu.

unfortunately i don't have the brain capacity atm to do a story but i can give u some cute lil ideas 💀

(TW: a mention of breasts (nothing nsfw happens though lol))

Dude is the type of fella to just buy you random things (or more likely than not, steal them from somewhere) whether you ask him or not.

Whenever you're tired or just don't want to get up, he'll either:

A. Lay down next to you and start spooning you, or cuddling you to help you relax.

Or B. He playfully wrestles you to get you awake or moving. From tickling to picking you up by the shoulders and giving you a shake to even hitting you in the head with a pillow.

Sometimes he thinks about inviting you when he takes Champ out for a walk as a cute date idea, but he doesn't because he knows Champ (and him as well) will get into trouble pretty much every time and he doesn't want to get you into trouble as well.

For the girlies out there, Dude likes to playfully squeeze at your breasts (if you allow him to.) He doesn't really do it as a sexy thing but more-so just to get a reaction out of you.

If you like flowers or plants, he tries to grow a plant as a gift for you but it doesn't survive in his trailer. He actually gets really disappointed in himself for that, but you reassure him that it's fine. (Now he just buys you ones he thinks you would like or pick them from outside.)

Despite being a crazed maniac, Dude is a major softie (and this goes for pretty much every variation of Dude.) He can't help but to always want to have some level of physical contact with you, even if it's just holding your hand while you both walk down the road or keeping an arm around your shoulders.

He always calls you sweet things, anything ranging from just compliments like "pretty", "beautiful", or "gorgeous", to those sappy pet names like "Sweetie", "Pumpkin", "Angel", etc.

He will go on entire rants to other people about you and how he adores you (if you don't mind him doing so.)

Dude: She is so beautiful, like- You don't understand, she is a GIFT. Do you HEAR ME, MAN? She's my lil lady! Gah, I love her so much!

Cashier: Sir, this is a Wendy's-

#postal dude #postal #postal dude x reader #pdude #postal dude x fem!reader #postal dude x female!reader #drabble #hcs #postal hcs #hes a silly little guy

[bigeloo]

Drags myself over drops this is this anything

#This is my design for the novel dude btw #mostly because I don't like the design on the cover lol #also really don't like the fact that he basically wears the same outfit there as in p2 #I feel like he should've had some other sort of outfit or at least change up the shirt but it's whatever #also gave him some freckles because he strikes me as a type of ginger who had freckles growing up but they eventually faded #also peep the glasses #personally I think he wore glasses as a kid and teenager but in his adult years his vision got so shit in one of his eyes that he said #''fuck it'' and just wore sunglasses after a certain point foward because he could not afford to have new glasses prescribed to him #and yeah I hc him having astigmatism #totally not projecting no siree #oh yeah and I feel like sunglasses would help with preventing overstimulation from brightness so that's there too #oh yeah and i gave him acne because let's be real. he had acne. #art #digital art #artwork #my art #jūr's scribbles #digital drawing #postal #postal dude #postal special delivery #postal novel #postal special delivery novel

[strawbrygashez]

Hc that after Dude met Zack Ward in p2, he did look into some shows or movies he said he was in and he sees the clip from one show where he kisses another guy on top of a pool table to help the other guy realize if he’s gay or not and Dude goes 😳

#postal dude #movie dude #zack ward #the show is called Titus 🫡 #another hc..p3 wanted to go see Zack so bad bc he has a crush on him

[rob0fortune]

P4 would probably buy delta 8 carts if he had a little extra money to spend

#postal dude #p4 #talk to me about Dude drug use hc please #me and all my homies abuse substances