#scaley faced bitch <3

[sigmalaussene]

Top ten weird ways Oswald Cobbepot gets called in Gotham

As I was rewatching Gotham, I decided to write down every name that people in the show canonically call Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin. It was a wild ride. Please enjoy

10. "Funny looking fellow"

(season one)

We start with a simple one. This isn't even an insult, it's just a fact. He is, indeed, a funny looking fellow. I'm pretty sure they say it more than once too.

9. "The Dapper Gangland Kingpin"

(season two)

This one it's just silly, especially since it was written on a newspaper. Just... that's weird ? Idk it's silly it makes me chuckle

8. "Yellow rat snitch"

(season one)

We start getting a little weirder. Why a rat? And, more importantly, why yellow???

7. "Stupid lame birdbrain"

(season four)

Just so mean. Especially since this scene it's his dumb husband making a room full of people chant it

6. "Golden goose"

(season one)

Right back to season one and it's incredible dialogue. This one is particularly amazing thanks to Oswald's reply to it, which was, of course: "Honk honk". I can't even start to describe that scene. It's a classic.

5. "Beaky nosed freak"

(season five)

Definitely the best nickname the last season had to offer. Like, you know that moment when a guy kills your bestfriend/girlfriend and you call him the silliest name you can think of? This is one of those times.

4. "Scaley faced bitch"

(season one)

This is the first one in the show, directly from the first episode. I am a firm supporter of calling men bitches when they deserve it, and he did, so I wholeheartedly approve this message. Adding the scaley face part just makes it more poetic.

3. "Sad little breadhead"

(season two)

This one from never fails. Imagine it delivered with the most condicending tone in the world. Just amazing. Makes me laugh every time.

2. "Fruitcake leprechaun"

(season two)

This. This is the one that started it all. It was thinking about this one that I decided that this rewatch I was gonna write down all the nicknames. I dont know if it has something to do with english not being my first language, so I don't have the background of the word "fruitcake" used as an homophobic remark, but this name is one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life.

1. "Limping little chickenbutt second banana"

(season one)

This couldn't not be on the first place. I am obsessed with the writers of this show, i want to get inside their brains. Because like what does it mean? How did they come up with this? I need to know every thought that crossed their mind for them to write this. This is art. This is poetry. Incredible. Amazing. Absolutely insane. Kudos to the actor who played Maroni because if they gave me that line I wouldn't be able to say it with a straight face.

Bonus:

(For the fans, he is also called "the only thing Nygma cares about". Just... you know, in case you forgot)

Some recurrent nicknames are: "Pengy", "Ozzie", "freak", "cockroach", "punk", bird related names (bird/birdman, feathered friend, chicken, turkey...) and "little"/"tiny" followed by almost anything (man, friend, dirtbag, bastard, creep, twerp, freak, weasel...)

Edit: i realize i didn't mention "Major Crumblepot" and that's on me sorry guys

His haircut is described as "disco vampire hair" at one point (another classic)

He is also called "specimen", which is really funny, and "dewdropper"?? for some reason I don't remember but it was in my notes and I couldn't ignore it lmao

#ofc “penguin” is implied #i finished my latest rewatch!!! ajsnakak i love this little silly guy so much AND i made my brother love him too YAY #gotham oswald #oswald copplepot #ed nygma #nygmobblepot #gotham #riddlebird #gotham fox #show #tv show #top ten #top ten weird ways oswald cobblepot gets called #gotham fandom #scaley faced bitch <3 #fandom meme #gotham meme

[logically-asexual]

One more time with feeling

summary:

Part one of this series is 'I can tell I've rotted in your brain', about Logan being slowly pushed away over the years until one day he is kicked out of Thomas's conscious mind and becomes the orange side.

This is part two, about Logan finally coming back.

Read on AO3

Chapter 3

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words: 2124

Virgil opened his eyes slowly. He felt a shiver run down his spine. He hated it here. 

He was in the dark side of Thomas’ mind, his previous home. It looked pretty much the same, still dim, still a mess of cobwebs, weapons and filth. It seemed less chaotic now, though. The weapons were still on the floor but now they were classified on piles in the corner, for example. The tower of dirty dishes in the sink was organized with the biggest, heaviest pots at the bottom and the lightest utensils at the top, making it unlikely for it to fall over. 

He took a deep breath, preparing himself mentally to face the other Dark Sides. 

Even with the progress he had made before with Logan about his fears of Remus, the anxious Side wasn’t ready to face the Duke yet, not where he was the most powerful. Luckily, he didn’t need him right now. He braced himself and called out loud: “Logan! Janus!”

Only Janus showed up, with a bored expression. 

“Where’s Logan?” Virgil asked. 

“Right, because of course you should be able to summon him whenever you want without care for his opinion.” Janus replied with his usual sarcastic tone, studying his nails under his gloves. “You’re on the other side now, remember? I’m surprised that you can even be here without Thomas’ permission.” Janus looked him down, making Virgil shift in his place, uncomfortable. 

The urge to apologize was strong, but Virgil had to stand his ground. He was here for a mission. “Can you call him?”

“I can.” 

Virgil waited a moment, but soon it became clear that Janus wasn’t going to do anything, so he corrected himself. “Will you call him?”

Janus lifted an eyebrow at him, but wouldn’t hold eye contact. “Why should I?”

“I need to talk to him.”

“And how does that benefit me?” Janus tilted his head. 

Virgil was beginning to lose his patience. He had forgotten how difficult Janus could be, and how much that exasperated him. “Please, it’s for Thomas. He needs Logan.”

“Oh, really? He seems perfectly fine to me.”

Virgil inhaled deeply. “Look, I know you’re upset with me but can’t you be helpful for once in your damn life?”

“Upset? Me? Oh, Virgil, I am devastated,” he dramatically lifted a hand to his forehead, “I still can’t sleep thinking what could have been of my dear good friend Anxiety, oh, brother, how I miss him…” Deceit’s sarcasm was getting old too quickly. 

“Oh, I know you do, that’s why you replaced him with Logic as soon as you could.”

“Excuse me?” 

“This is all your fault!” Virgil pointed a finger at him. “You dragged him away from Thomas for your stupid power play or whatever that motivates your scaley brains.”

“I am sorry, that’s right, I forgot my own role for a second,” he laughed humorlessly. “I am solely in charge of dragging Sides in and out of the dark side against their will whenever I feel like it, clearly like how my opinion mattered so much when you decided to move out.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes. “I was looking out for Thomas’ wellbeing! Just like I am doing right now, but it seems I am the only one who still gives a shit about him.”

“Well, congratulations. You certainly are doing a great job at keeping his life from spiraling into disaster.”

“Why don’t you do something then?”

“Oh, Virgil, I would love to, but to think of showing up unannounced when nobody really wants me there I’d have to be incredibly dull and naïve…”

“That’s it, you little bitch—!” Virgil charged towards Janus, but his physical assault was prevented by a hand firmly holding his wrist. 

Stunned, Virgil looked up to see the Side who had appeared next to him. His mouth opened and closed a couple times as he took the other in. The dark blue color of the jacket and the square glasses were all he could recognize about him. 

“Logan?”

“Hello Virgil.”

The three of them were now sitting at the table, using it mostly as an obstacle to keep Janus and Virgil from jumping at each other again. Logan sat with his usual perfect posture, appearing unbothered. 

“What happened to you?” Virgil asked Logan. 

“Well, there have been many occurrences in my personal life recently, but I assume you’re inquiring about my appearance.”

“Uh… sure.”

“That is none of your business.” Logan simply stated. 

Virgil blinked, lost for words. “Oh. Okay… Sorry.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, after which Logan began standing up. 

“If there’s nothing else to discuss–”

“Wait, Logan.”

He sat back down.

“We need you.”  

“For what?” Logan raised an eyebrow at him the same way Janus had done earlier.

“For Thomas.”

“Hm. I don’t think so. As far as I am concerned, Roman is leading the lifestyle Thomas always wanted to have.”

“Things aren’t going well and you know it. He needs your help.”

“Does he want it, though?” Before Virgil had a chance to say something Logan continued. “That was a rhetorical question. I wouldn’t be here if he did.”

“But he does! I even made him say it out loud! He wants his responsibility and organization, his Logic back.”

Logan and Janus looked at each other, communicating with furrowed brows and movements of their eyes. Logan didn’t want to talk about what happened, but he knew he would have to do it eventually. 

“I am afraid it’s too late for that.” Janus finally said. 

“What do you know, you slippery—“

“Janus is right, Virgil,” Logan interrupted. “Logic as you knew it no longer exists.”

Virgil once again paused in bewildered silence. “What?”

Logan rubbed his nose between his eyes. “You know, maybe I could answer your questions if you could formulate them as complete sentences sometimes.”

Virgil stuttered for a moment. “I’m sorry. Uh… Why does Logic no longer exist?”

“As you know, we grow and evolve along with Thomas, and our roles and appearances often change according to the way he perceives us as parts of his personality. If that outlook changes, then we change, too.”

“Uh huh?” Virgil prompted him to continue. 

“In addition to punctuality, rationality, and organization, Thomas seems to have associated the logical Side of his personality with behaviors and emotions such as assertiveness, anger, irateness, and hostility.”

“Logan wasn’t exactly Thomas’s favorite Side already,” Janus continued the explanation, “but now every issue with anger that he had was projected onto Logan until it practically took over Thomas’s perception of him, which, you might guess, made him very happy.”

Virgil nodded. “Patton hates it when Thomas is angry.” Then, he turned to Logan. “So that’s how you ended up here?”

“I guess it was a matter of time.” Logan shrugged, but his tension was apparent on his shoulders and his clenched fists. “But this way, if he wants the traits you mentioned to return as a Side, then he’ll have to accept the anger and similar characteristics that I now represent, as well.” 

Virgil nodded again. “I’m sorry, L. I should have known what was happening and maybe I could have done something.”

Logan inhaled deeply, his eyebrows furrowing, then he shook his head. “In the time I have been here I have gone over the events dozens of times, looking for something that could have been done differently. There’s nothing. This was inevitable from the moment Thomas chose the lifestyle he did for his adulthood.” 

“But you did always like this dumpster, didn’t you?” Virgil looked around the constantly decaying living room.

The corner of Logan’s mouth twitched. “‘Like’ is a strong word. Despite that, I appreciate it that here I don’t have to be concerned about whether I said the right thing to convince Thomas about doing something good for himself, or to not hurt him at least.” 

“Don’t you get frustrated with all that’s wrong currently that wouldn’t be if you were there?”

Logan thought for a second. “Focusing on impossible scenarios isn’t productive, and I normally would avoid the practice.”

Janus shot an accusatory glance at him. 

“However, some… emotions,” he grimaced, “aren’t as benumbed in me as they used to be, so I would lie if I said I don’t get fixated on ideas about what I would do if I were given the opportunity.” 

Virgil was comforted by the fact that Logan hadn’t really changed. It was still him. Maybe more irritable, but that shift had started years before, and now he seemed to have accepted to deal with it. Now just Thomas had to do the same. 

“So why don’t you just go back?” 

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Logan scowled. “Everything gets back to normal and then I’d just have to wait a few minutes until they get tired of me again and end back here more humiliated than before, how exciting.” 

The sarcasm was a new addition.

Virgil looked down at his hands, thinking of a response that wouldn’t make things worse than they were. He settled on just speaking his thoughts out loud.

“On one hand I know what that’s like and I don’t want you to go through it. It turned out kinda alright in the end for me but I don’t know if it will happen a second time. On the other, I told you before that I just know how to point out the problems, but not how to solve them, and Thomas got plenty right now and I am so sick of just standing there knowing things are wrong and being incapable of doing anything about it.”

Virgil finished the rant flopping his head down on the table. 

“I’m sorry that it is so complex, Virge.” Logan sighed. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t show up and get a single word in. Not if Thomas and, more specifically, the other Sides aren’t at least somewhat open to what I’d have to say.”

“But they’re in denial and insisting everything is fine.” Virgil looked up to glare at Janus. “Because of you!” 

Janus didn’t change his calm demeanor except for narrowing his eyes. “Hey, I’m doing what is needed to protect us. If they don’t want to see us then why should I force them?” 

“Ugh you’re always like this, you don’t care about Thomas, just about yourself!”

“Caring about myself is caring about Thomas because we’re the same person you idiotic—“

Their bickering was interrupted by the sound of a chair sliding against the floor, caused by Logan suddenly standing up. 

“Shut up!” He shouted. He was breathing heavily and not looking up from the table. After a second, more calm, he said, “I should leave. This is leading us nowhere.”

Virgil stood up after him. “No, Logan, wait.”

“If I participate during a discussion it will keep devolving into this and I want no part in that.” 

“No, it doesn’t–”

“Yes! God damn it, don’t you listen? – I’m sorry!” Logan stopped his own outburst, covering his face in his hands. 

“See!” Virgil gestured at him. “This is not healthy.” 

Logan just shook his head. 

“Like,” Virgil kept trying, “you remember when we were in my room, right? And you spoke about that curve thing for experiencing anxiety. There’s gotta be something similar with anger, like, Thomas being a pushover too scared of conflict means he can’t get anything done.”

Logan rolled his eyes, communicating that this seemed obvious to him. 

“But aren’t you in the complete other extreme? With Thomas pushing all his repressed anger onto you for you to bottle it all up, it just can’t be… good. I’m sure that if you talked and let some of it out then you could both meet in the middle, and that would be good for both of you, all of us, actually.”

Logan’s tense expression faltered at that, not knowing how to feel about Virgil schooling him with his own previous lecture. 

“… Come on, dude… Just give it a chance. Please.”

It wasn’t like Virgil to try so hard to get something. His uncharacteristic insistence convinced Logan that what he asked for really was important to him. Reluctantly, he lifted his chin up and finally said, “Fine. If you somehow make it so the others are open to seeing me then… I’ll be there.”

Virgil visibly relaxed, a figurative weight lifting off his shoulders. “Thanks, L.” He took a step backwards and began to sink out. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

After he left, Logan slumped back down on the chair, leaning his elbows on the table and his face in his hands. 

“This is going to be a disaster.”

“Yup,” Janus answered before drinking from a wine glass he had just manifested.

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#logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders #one more time with feeling #erase me #ts

[scarsmood]

on bdsm topics any ideas on captivity like a wild beast being put into captivity and being tamed by a caretaker or something along those lines (sorry if you already did something like this) a dinokin looking for a form of powerplay that can be abused and stuff

you uh. you ever watch jurassic park?  look beastie. we have the same braincell as a fellow dinosaur that loves getting fucking destroyed. heres my suggestions: as the sub: -shock collared. roar your heart out. put yourself on the otherside of a fence or obstacle really fucking try to kill your dom <3. absolutely try to shred them so they can put the collar to use. wear it on your thigh for saftey. its gonna hurt like hell -muzzle snapping at shit is fun but whats more fun is bitch slapping someone with a metal muzzle. be sure to headbutt them stiggy style. when your dom says “hey that hurt” your on the right track! do it again! -bound by odd materials. rope is good. but so is wire, yarn, twine, chain, leather strappings. be sure to test these bindings before a scene in a non sex setting to make sure you know the material and how it effects your blood flow/ how to tie it to you. certain sensations like wire and twine make me fucking feral. a really angry dinosaur.  -whips and reins. take a look at ark survival evolved. you wanna be tamed? perhaps consider being run down until your exhausted given food until you regain your strength and then forced to wear gear your captor uses to control you. its fun. whips and reins are a great control method. reins in particular make me extremely aggressive and hostile. really makes me want to ram my dom into the side of a wall when they try to ride me.  -leashed when your dom is inevitably crying because they thought domming a dinosaur was a fun and interesting idea they could flex to their friends about and chained you to a wall be sure to not just tug straight but tug sideways and in multiple directions to figure out your range and which screws have the most give so you can lunge better. chain is a pain in the ass, rope definetly gives you an advantage -flogging you really wanna rile someone up and see their teeth. encourage your dom to flog you. you might as well also have them arrange their life insurance. back, ass, thighs, chest are going to hurt. if you want to see if you can break cement try your face if you like serious pain. you should be careful and make sure your dom is watching your body for you. cause your gonna be to busy foaming at the mouth to tell what state your in.  -salt water spray its aggravating to your eyes make sure the solution is pretty diluted you dont need a lot at all for it to be annoying. hell even normal water is going to be annoying. it also helps keep you cool when your trying to shred someones skin constantly tugging on the fence -cages and harnesses you like being captured? both of these are great. harnesses are fun to get yanked around and controlled in. i always wanted to attach a harness to a metal pole so the dom could control me but i couldnt get close to them. you know. they dont want that of course. cages are great long term or short term. they definetly do something to you psychologically and help with the feeling of being trapped and really lets that anger come up. it also helps breaking subs so plan accordingly.  -blood play buy some microscope slides. if your fine with being cut have your dom make a little cut with a diabetic blood tester or a knife if they know how to use it. put some blood on a slide and they can go “get results” for your dna testing to see how they should further train you. its humiliating and makes me go from i wanna bite you to scaley puppy.  -pseudoscience stuff dinosaur genetic experiment is fun for me. that always gets me. checking blood pressure, heart rate, breathing, checking teeth and behaviors week to week is satisfying to me.  -training clicker training is fun id recommend that and getting jerky as treats is both humiliating and tasty. as a trex being hand fed anything feels like an insult so thats fun for me. you can learn tricks and use them in public even if you make the name of the commands discrete and non sexual highly recommend that.  -grooming being washed, trimmed nails, brushed hair/ quills or scales is fun. very domestic maybe as a muzzle for your doms safety if your feeling intolerant that day  Go have fun! traumatize someone ;)

#dinosaurkin #paleotherian #erokin #afterdark #otherkin #therian #werewolfkin

[caandlelit]

Hi! So I read that post where Hawks basically just gets a job at the lov bar? And I think Dabi will end up ranting about the other league members to,,,, someone. Theresmultiple Options for whp that Person is: 1) some small-time hero (newbie?) whos more concerned with srvivng than catching Dabi bc /Omg, it's the second most wanted villian, what do I do, help/ 2) Aizawa: Oh look it's Dabi. Oh look he's drunk, Maybe I can get some info out of this (I hit the character Limit, to be continuued, ily)

* part 2: Aizawa ends up with way more info than he wanted and decides to give the poor guy a break and Maybe get a drink himself bc how tf are These guys planning to kill All Might/ how tf did they kdnap one of my students (Also did the 2nd most wanted just call the nr3 hero cute) (hes cute but hes a hero! But hes cute! But hes a spy!) or 3) Shouto. hes slightly confused bc theres a Dabi ranting at him and ok hes getting a lot of info, but he should alert a pro

Shouto might also wonder why him (and is this guy drunk?) (Dabi just unconsiously gravitated to his Family for ranting) (part 3) Anyway could you write sth like this? I love your stuff, it's amazing *

sjshj thanks !! an shit this is an amazing idea holy shitt

listen its should be aizawa ok it'd be fucking hilarious

dabi would go to a club and be drinking for hours

aizawa was only there to pick up mic alright but he saw the villain guy who had discreetly helped the heroes at the camp thing and walked over

as a responsible hero must

he taps dabi on the shoulder and dabi whips around on the defensive and glares 

aizawa holds up his hands like woah I ain't lookin for trouble

but dabi just hisses

"this is mY fucking vodka aLRIGHT if you even thINK about touching my vodka I will set you on fIRE. b-bitch."

aizawa buries his face in his hands and wishes he was never born

then he sighs, rolls back his shoulders and sits next to dabi and orders his own beer

because he can't in good conscious leave this guy alone cause he might murder someone by accident

that was his first mistake 

his second was asking 'so how's it going'

dabi fuckin goes off okay he starts ranting

"fucking sHIT okay so heres the tea-"

'the what-'

"-the number three hero hawks is tryna be a villain-"

' what the fuck-'

"except he's so obviously a double agent which is a damn shame because it'd be fucking lit if he was a villain imagine the hero backlash god itd be wild plus hes cute-"

aizawa is just staring at him in pain and horror

who the fuck is this guy

what the fuck

oh my god he's still talking-

"-and listen I didn't sign up for this okay the villains are so fucking annoying alright jin? so annoying he never shuts up and he's always contrafuckindicting himself and spinner is a an actual fucking scaley-" alright that's it what the fuck

"-all I wanted was to take down fucking endeav*r alright he's such a dickkk- hEY!"

'what'

"don't tell anyone. that that's my plan. cause if they knew im only in it to let the world know he's abusive then they'd try and help me and that shit ain't gon' fly"

'what the fuck is going on' 

oh shit im creating a new au where dabi accidentally let's aizawa know that endeavor is abusive and then he saves them all oh my god that'd be amazing shit

anyways thanks again!! im not gonna be able to study shit I have so many ideas hsjhshsj

[paintrider13-blog]

We Got This, Part 2

This was written for the BTZ challenge. We had to write it in pairs and I tell you what, this was fun! I learned a lot! Thanks to the wonderful @wonderange for working with me and putting up with me. And thanks to the ever amazing @atc74 for putting on this challenge. It definitely stretched me and broke my comfort zone. If you missed it here is Part 1 written by @wonderange

AU Cannon with Charlie and Jo

Warning: Some fighting. 

I had been holed up in my hotel room for almost two days. I had finally found the little wretch that had been taking the men. After four days of going into the diner I realized that one of the waitresses kept leaving with men at the end of her shift, but the other girl seemed to know what was going on. One of them has to be the monster, it had to be!  Now the question was what the hell was she?

I was rolling my bottle of beer back and forth across the table as I scrolled through the research I had. Nothing was giving me an idea for what she could be, well nothing distinct. She could be one of many many things.

“Come on, somethings gotta give!” I growled setting my beer up right on the table. I opened another search browser to try another angle when my phone rang.

“Heya Charlie!” I drawled into the phone leaning back in my chair.

“Hey, Jo. I have been looking, and with what you gave me, this monster could be one of hundreds. Is there anything that is distinct that you can give me?”

“Yeah, its female. I am almost positive of that. There are two waitresses at the diner down the street from the hotel that work the night shift. The one leave almost every night with a different guy. I am thinking it’s going to have to be something that is sucking blood, taking souls or something like that. I can’t decide if it is both or not though. ONly one of the waitresses leaves with anyone. The other stays and closes the diner down.” I had looked through the lore. I was down to only a hand full of things at this point, but I didn’t want to go in guns blazing for one thing and have it be something else.

“Okay, so have you looked into like a Djinn or vampire?” I could hear Charlie tapping away on her keyboard on the other side of the phone now.

“Whatever it is doesn’t seem to fit the MO of the Djinn. There was a body found in the woods a few miles from town today, it had bite marks around its neck and shoulders.” I told her pinching the bridge of my nose.

“What makes it not a vampire then?” I heard her pause.

“Nothing I guess,” I grabbed my beer and took a swig. Something didn’t seem to fit, a vampire seemed to easy and to simple.

“Jo, it doesn’t have to be this big super rare monster you know. it could be the simple answer.” Charlie had stopped typing. She knew me well enough to know I wanted it to be a big bad.

“You’re right.” I said slowly.

“From the sounds of things you’re near the mountains right?” She asked typing again.

“Yep, I’ll start looking for a lair and keep in touch.” I hung up and tossed my phone on the table. We were in a small town backing the mountains. There could be barns and all sorts of things for vampires to hide in.

20 minutes later I was sitting in the back booth at the diner, time to see who the girl left with tonight.

I didn’t have to wait long before the pretty blonde had someone “convince” her to leave with him at the end of the shift in 15 minutes.

The blonde clocked out and smiled invitingly at the burly trucker as she led him out the back door. I dropped my cash on the table and went out the front making my way down the side of the building towards the cars parked in the dark at the forest line.

The giggly Blonde and her friend were nowhere to be seen. I made sure I hadn’t missed anyone leaving the parking lot, and there were only 3 vehicles parked in the lot. I stood at the corner of the building taking in the surroundings, something was off. After 10 minutes of standing there I decided to follow them into the woods. There was no way the redhead was working with her. She would have been out here by now. Especially if they had a new tasty morsel.

I followed the sounds of the woman and her friend as they walked through the forest. He was talking loudly trying to figure out where she was taking him and asking questions. She kept shushing him as she led him further into the woods.

After a few hundred yards I figured we had to be coming up on a structure as she slowed down turning towards the guy.

“Is this where we are going?” He asked looking around the forest.

“It is,” she smiled at him seductively.

This was it. I bolted from behind my tree swinging the machete I had lugged with me. Before I could reach her she turned on me shifting in front of my eyes. Her skin turned blue and scaley, her eyes slitting.

“Shit!” I yelped as she knocked me to the side. I landed in a heap in the dirt.

“You get him, I’ll get her. She followed you out here you know?” A female voice sounded from behind me.

I moved quickly to my feet to find the redhead closing in trying to flank me. Great, not Vampires and I forgot my silver blade. I shook my head at myself. I hadn’t told Charlie or anyone else where I had planned to go, or what I planned to do for that matter. Now I was stuck in the woods fighting two Vetala.

“I thought you would have caught her before she tried to take my head off though. Clearly she didn’t do her homework.” The blonde bared her razor sharp teeth at me. She had the guy from the diner in her grasp, a nasty wound at his throat already.

“Hey bitch, when all else fails cut the head off.” I sassed her twirling my machete.

“Now now, no need for name calling.” The redhead tsked me.

“On the contrary, there is a time and place for it. This happens to be it.” I growled lunging at her. I sliced for all I was worth almost coming into contact with her neck. She easily out maneuvered me, using my momentum to run me into a nearby tree. Black exploded in my field of vision and blood filled my mouth as I came into contact with the trunk. Before I could gather my wits I was pinned to the tree.

“You should have just let us be Hunter, stayed away and let us live.” She growled in my ear as she shifted to match the other girl.

“What fun would that have been?” I spat.

“Well, for you it would have been more fun, plus you would have gotten to live. For us, we now have another take out meal.” She leaned down baring her teeth as she moved towards my neck.

Before I knew what was happening I heard a battle cry come from the woods. Something slammed into the redhead with enough force to knock her away.

“Jo!” I heard my name and spun in time to catch the blade being thrown in my direction. I caught it, spinning to attack the redhead. I fell on her, tackling her to the ground I used what weight I had to throw her onto her back. I pounced on her, driving the blade into her chest.

“Yep good time for name calling.” I smirked as I twisted the blade in her chest. The light in her eyes went out and I turned my focus to where Charlie was attempting to fight off the blond.

“Hey!” I yelled running full tilt at her. She turned in time for me to launch myself a her, taking her to the ground. The little tramp managed to get a handful of my hair on the way down, twisting my head back painfully as we landed.

“Charlie!” I growled as the blonde yanked back on my hair again.

“Got it!” She answered jumping in. She was enough of a distraction that I was able to wrangle my hand free, driving the blade into her chest with a nasty twist.

“Ha!” I whooped rolling off of her onto the forest floor.

“Jo.”

I lifted my head to see Charlie standing at my feet, a frazzled mess.

“Yeah?” I smiled at her.

“You really need to quit doing this shit.” She scowled at me.

“What?” I asked sitting up and glancing around.

“Going out alone like this.” She looked at the piles where the women had been. The guy from the diner was laying a few feet away still breathing but unconscious. That poison was nasty stuff.

“Eh I’m fine, I have you.” I grinned at her.

“Yeah, thank god. Come on let's get him back to the parking lot.” Charlie offered me her hand.

“Deal!”

I helped Charlie lug the guy back to the parking lot. We left him leaned against the back door of the diner, where there was still lights on.

“Come on, let's get you cleaned up.” Charlie arched an eyebrow at me as she started around the building.  I started after her.

“Thanks for coming Charlie, I couldn’t have done it without you.” I told her putting my arm around her.

“Yeah, that’s no kidding.” She chuckled putting her arm around my waist.

“We didn’t even have to call Dean or Sam!” I laughed.

“Yeah about that…..” Charlie looked sideways at me as we rounded the front of the diner.

I gave her a confused look as I looked up. Parked right up front was the Impala. Dean was leaned against the passenger door, an unimpressed look on his face.

“Shit, damn it Charlie.” I moaned rolling my eyes. We were going to get it now.

BTZ: @chelsea072498  @waywardjoy @tankcupcakes @d-s-winchester @atc74 @winchesterprincessbride @mamaredd123   @death2thevirgin @like-a-bag-of-potatoes   @sis-tafics @iwantthedean   @ellen-reincarnated1967 @wonderange @just-another-busy-fangirl  @hannahindie @katymacsupernatural    @jayankles @crispychrissy  @pinknerdpanda

Forevers:   @lovebelieve97  @mysteriouslyme81  @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @marygracewinchester  @deandoesthingstome  @supernatural-jackles  @deanscherrypie   @littlegreenplasticsoldier  @impalapossible  @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog  @nichelle-my-belle  @lipstickandwhiskey   @kakdhaoan919 @avasmommy224 @mogaruke  @badsongwinchester @hexparker @dalikah3 @emoryhemsworth

#supernatural #spn fan fiction #btz challenge

[autumn-in-phandom]

“Did Dan get TOO TAN?”

(Sept 19th 2017 Dan liveshow timestamps)  

0:03 After an awkward pause and salute: “Hello cyber friends” (instant regret and reflection)

0:29 (Dear god, don’t grab your laptop by the screen like that Dan.)

0:44 Grimace #1

1:06 No Dan, you do not look *atol* different. That tweet, title and pic are all just clickbait.

1:10 (Bronze my ass.)

1:19 Hitting us with that meme.

1:25 (Didn’t need to be in your face thanks. Teasing angles?)

1:36 “Never say Trumpy ever again, in any circumstance.”

1:45 Lovely pores and freckles.

2:00 Obviously everyone subscribes to YouTubers for their freckle content.

2:30 Livestreams are “a mistake” because of the chat clinging on to one thing and spamming it.

2:40 No probing or questioning at airport, big grin.

3:01 “The broadband is terrible but the 4G is great.” Okay…

3:17 “The toasty Dan experience”, orangish filter.

3:26 Double rhyme: “I guess that’s a rhyme, yeah that’s fine” (okay it’s a slant rhyme)

3:47 “Buttered crumpet Daniel.”

4:02 “Went to an island in the Mediterranean.” (This is exactly the answer I expected and quite frankly the only one he should give.)

4:09 “Literally did nothing for about six days, it was great.”

4:15 ‘I am Pilgrim’ book recommended by his mum.

4:30 Tricked into reading 900 page book.

5:00 Holiday was incredibly relaxing.

5:10 “Ordeal” getting there, delayed flight, three hours “traumatizing”

5:22 “Haha long boye” “literally, shins driving into my chest, bleeding” alright hyperbolic humor Dan. “Tough.”

5:38 “Violated” on flight by guy’s elbows, “no respect for personal space”, “fully leaning into me”, “didn’t even care”, “honestly an icon for all of us.” (Was it Phil?)

6:03 3 am, old driver, mini bus, cliff roads, did pre-ritual preparing for death.

7:00 “So much yogurt”, doesn’t know why.

7:05 “Assaggetti” tweet, we can shame him, “has the worst sense of humor in the world”, check it out and unsubscribe, doesn’t remember the language (Italian), apologizes, “constantly problematic”.

7:55 “Got that D from the S up above” (vitamin D, or Phil…)

8:16 Phil came on the holiday in case anyone didn’t know.

8:18 “He went from like glass to pale ivory, which is good”, “Phil is someome who erupts in freckles whenever he goes outside, so it’s hard to tell if he tans or if your eyes are just kinda like drawing the dots between the space all the freckles are, if you know what I’m saying.” (Wow, I… I’d like to think you mean what I know, but I’m not sure. Wow.)

8:37 Someone in the chat: “Nice Ursa Major on that cheek boy”. Turn, pose, laugh.

8:41 “The Bigger Dipper of my self esteem.”

8:53 Good day: watched Bake Off and answered emails, “thrilling”.

9:13 Tumblr likes, fan art, “beautiful to celebrate the great people.”

9:43 “The internet is not here”, laughs, sighs, apologizes.

9:55 Some peer pressure advice.

10:25 Had to check what his video title is.

10:35 I don’t know why he bothers to ask if we watched either.

10:55 Accept that he does things by his British calendar.

11:11 Why he didn’t he talk about uni stories when it was happening. Ashamed? Yeah, processing turmoil at the time.

11:55 Now shares traumatizing, terrifying, shameful, embarrassing stories straight away.

12:15 Rowing club guy AU… (not what I was thinking)

12:46 Laundry story: Phil was nice, Dan didn’t ask, *literally* ordered a cab, turned up with suitcase, Phil assumed he dropped out and was moving in, “I’ve had a day and I’m going to wash my socks in your washing machine.”

13:13 “If you struggle to function as a person-” (I really wish he had finished this sentence)

13:15 Asda sponsor for crying in the cheese aisle?

13:23 Pasta burn shaming (were you just never in the kitchen with your mum Dan?)

13:36 Dropping laptop so much recently.

14:00 Never taught cooking, laundry, accounting.

14:18 “No one told me shit!” (in Dan’s face again).

14:33 “What happens when I’m 23?! How do I do a tax?!”

14:54 It was ravioli (pretty sure the instructions mentioned water Dan…)

15:15 Thick as in stupid, not thicc fat booty.

15:30 “Look Fatima, we all have different life experiences, okay?” (lol)

15:36 “Ravioli ravioli, give me the death I deserveioli.” Relates.

15:45 Rihanna livestream, forehead fetishist? Wouldn’t mind if anyone leaves for that.  

16:08 Not up on BTS, DNA.

16:33 Shames Eden for “let me see that pastussy” comment, “leave.”

16:45 “Love on the Brain”. He really loves Rihanna, amazing, blessing, doesn’t give a shit, casual, informal, etc. “Bitch Better Have My Money.”

17:25 Is sure BTS video with be “pure and beautiful”, expects “softly applied eyeshadow and very fluffy hair”, he’s sure he’ll enjoy.

17:38 Maybe new gaming video/livestream tomorrow.

17:45 Overcooked, ironic kitchen fire, foreshadowing.

18:08 Wasn’t sure if he should get into Chinese guy story again, but he has to.

18:13 Deep breath: “It was 4 am, I’d been you know, well hydrated that evening, but I decided I needed another drink” go into the kitchen, everyone else was asleep, guy had a whole chicken, with neck and feet, fine but surprising, tiniest pair of white y-fronts, hacked head off and made eye contact, just couldn’t, usually would awaken some kink in him…

19:39 Pool pic, shout out to friend, no consent, relaxing, absorbing sun like a lizard, *basking*, fell asleep, lucky it was a pool and he didn’t drift out to sea, sun stroke vid reference, “the bad tan”.

21:08 People saying “trying to be cute”, the double chins (really?!)

21:21 The least Dan-like photo.

21:33 Thought it would ruin his Instagram aesthetic.

22:10 Lack of other content: relaxing, reading,

22:24 Took a couple other photos, sunset selfie, “no one’s going to take a photo of me” (what the hell happened to your personal photographer?) but then people came (please post, please!)

23:40 Bake off is his life, “Noel Feilding is a national treasure”, caramel was torture while hungry, faves are Liam and not!Val (what did he whisper about Liam? Really wanted him to be…?)

24:30 *Maybe* Halloween Baking, they don’t think that far ahead about anything.

24:48 Phil’s role in Dan’s video, mugging scene took nine takes, afraid to punch him. Outtakes please!

26:03 (grimace #2) “Hello Grandma, my name is Daniel, I’m a wholesome person, that’s a very great influence”

26:16 Wachowski films

26:23 Dan floating in donut plushies would be very challenging.

26:33 Dan flips a bit at the idea that’s it’s weird to like people who don’t know who you are. Uses Ed Sheeran as example.

26:55 Scrolls past person who said they feel better when they have a dream about Dan and Phil.

27:17 Cared more about YouTube than university socializing and class, Pom Bear Massacre reference, made Tumblr account.

29:09 Chapped lips, season changed the moment he stepped off the plane.

29:42 “Okay Universe, I know I can be a bit of a downer, sometimes.”

29:51 Haley Barry Storm powers

30:08 Yes the furry blanket comes out, polyester, sad pimp, Marks & Spencer.

31:06 Ready for everything seasonal, autumnal Yankee Candle range, not haute, but fun themes.

31:31 Frisbee laptop across the room on to the bed, missed.

31:46 Candle haul, yes it is content we need right now!

32:26 Furry invasion on Splatoon, scaley, yiffing proposition, “this is a family game”, not shaming just concerned for kids, though it is hentai-esque…

33:27 Sonic: 2010 reminiscing, formatting of boxes.

34:04 Was stupid side kick, Phil being good, Dan trying to be helpful, actual just a cheerleader, Phil was disgusting, doesn’t know if Phil even knew what he was saying (of course he did).

34:38 Didn’t know uni vid was trending

34:52 Reflection (I think that’s the piano nook)

35:00 Weird because of swearing, someone at YT didn’t watch the vid, “Ah, keep doing that, don’t watch my videos, just know that I’m a good person…”

35:25 “I make great friendly content.” (grimace #3)

35:30 Explains why trending isn’t automatic. Yes, think of the children.

36:05 “But hey, I’m not bad, everything’s fine”.

36:45 “People of all genders do and don’t wear makeup”.

37:10 (I’m pretty sure that the no candles with birds is because of the fumes.)

37:25 What is with the nose touching when confirming Spooky Week? “Next video (nose touch) soon, don’t worry”…?

38:28 “Fans of everything are annoying, that’s just what happens when people are enthusiastic about stuff.”

39:19 Dan doesn’t get annoyed by different fandoms. Says more about the people being annoyed, part of their own insecurity, their lack of community, togetherness, celebration, shared experiences, jealous or sad, or maybe everyone just everyone’s annoying.

39:56 Dream Daddy: so dangerous saying Dilddy. Dan likes Damien, great taste, immaculate presentation, probably not Dilddy’s romantic soulmate.

40:31 Dan is in like ten fandoms (makes a face).

40:45 Chat: “Will Phil become a furry, what’s your fursona?” Dan: “Is it time to go?”

40:55 Has never thought about it, promises he’ll get on it soon, he knows what the internet wants from him.

41:31 Chat full of fursona suggestions. He’s going to start crying.

41:52 “A llama fucking hell.” “Look at the time.”

42:01 Going to go into a (not disturbing) hole later looking into axoltl fur suits.

42:24 Elf on a shelf meme, was going to post a Dan one, “old meme!” (Still don’t need to be up in your face Daniel.)

43:27 Really wants to go see IT, needs to see Mother.

44:04 Shut up! American Horror Story, makes him happy. Loves Sarah Paulson (is his life), feels represented by a lesbian with anxiety. Evan Peters is great, looks gross, or great depending.

45:25 His fursona should be a big bear, I agree. What a reaction.

45:46 Left comb on holiday, looks like a bush.

46:13 (grimace #4 at group chat names.)

46:20 “What is wrong with all of you?”

46:22 Glosses over diet ask. Indeed.

46:26 “Don’t call me Uncle Dan when we’re talking about fursonas.”

46:36 “If you live in Australia vote for marriage equality, we don’t need to have this conversation.” “Come on, come on Australia, sort your shit out.”

47:03 Going to “innocently Google things that are fine”.

47:22 “Me and Phil would love to come to Russia”.

47:27 Limitations of TATINOF.

47:44 Watch uni vid: “Don’t take it too seriously. Remember that most of the time I’m just trying to be funny, and if you ever want like my real feelings or opinions, just think about whatever the opposite of what I’m saying is, and that’s usually how to get to the sincere heart of whatever Dan’s talking about.”

48:13 “Stay calm, ask some senpais for some life advice and think carefully about what your fursona should be.”

#phan #dan liveshow #dan and phil #dan livestream #dnp timestamps