#she spends a lot of time sleeping

[daily-whistlepaw]

daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167

I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it

#warrior cats #whistlepaw #windclan #medicine cat apprentice #this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol) #the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help. #and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night #but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess) #(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope)) #but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning #man it was not fun #(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about #being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me #annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help #either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra #I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off #and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué #I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain #and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess #I might have to eventually but I don't wanna #anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!

[saminthea]

Is it appendicitis or just fibromyalgia and a stomach bug? Guess we'll see in the morning!

#fuck #nothing like a gradual increase in acute abdomen pain over the course of the week #along with diarrhea and nausea and lack of appetite #tmi #probably #my mom's giving me a ride to the ER in the morning #still have a couple irl friends as mutuals here #not right now because I've yet to throw up and I don’t think I have a fever #probably just not going to sleep so I can be sure I'll be awake when it's time to go #spend the rest of the night by the toilet in case I throw up #she's a nurse so she had me do the test where you put pressure on the pain and then release #at first it didn’t feel any worse #and then #it felt A LOT worse #vent #sorry #I've never had surgery before #and as previously mentioned I have fibro #which is probably going to mean a longer recovery time #did you know fibro can get worse when you have other infections in your body? #I'm currently having the worst flare up I've had in months #and it came out of nowhere #god Im not ready to potentially need surgery #I'm hosting a gala in 2 weeks! #a gala that has been in the works for months! #there might be as many as 40 people there #at least I have MaineCare #so I don’t have to worry about my insurance deciding not to cover it #very deliberatly posting this here and not Facebook #just so I don’t needlessly worry friends and family

[newtness532]

im so annoyed with everything today, i think i need some tasty food and a million hours of sleep and then I'll be back to normal

#the teacher at the first class today was so dibsjdhdhdhdhsgs 😫 #like she was teaching us things that are like unrelated to the class that shes teaching so idek why she was teaching it #but also its things that we have been learning since the 1st semester and we've done them in at least 10 classes and she was acting like #this was the 1st time we were hearing about it #like oh yeah we're on the 7th semester of studying nutrition but no one bothered to tell us how many calories are in a gram of fat #and she gave us homework 'to see if we know this' like #oh yes i can make a meal plan for a child with crohns or cystic fibrosis or celiac disease or everything else we've done this semester and #all the other semesters but i guess i cant tell you what micronutrients are in this one breakfast meal #like fuck off and stick to what you're supposed to be teaching #anyway i know im getting more annoyed than i should but she was just even more annoying than usual today #like she interrupted the lesson every 5 minutes to yell at someome to be quiet i wasnt even aware there were people talking until she yelled #anyway #also my new earphones aren't working well idk why ive definitely not been mistreating them that much for them to break in less than a month #like i had my old pair for at least 4 years until the broke and i dont think the wire got cut in them like the sound was coming out weird #but there was sound coming out. in the new ones you need to hold them in a very specific angle for sound to come out #and like im careful with how i put them away so what is up with them? #my theory is that they make wired earphones shitty on purpose so that you will spend a lot of money and buy wireless #also we had said from Tuesday that we would hang out with my friends today but i guess they forgot or idk and they made other plans #(to go home and sleep) and during the weekend the one friend wont be here and next week my family will be here so we probably wont hang out #again until next year and we have exams almost immediately so we wont be hanging out much then either #also my period is supposed to come soon and i hope that it will either come today or it will wait until after Christmas #ideally it will never come ever again but we cant always get what we want #anyway im gonna go eat the rest of my μεσογειακό and go take a nap #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aaaand thats a 3rd doctor. a psychiatrist. who listened to me ans thought: mm sounds like bip0lar lol #me: wow its so easy to get diagnosed as bip0lar. thats bc u r exhibiting lots of depression and a limit amount of mood elevation. that's #like. thats what bip0lar is. she was like yea ppl with bip0lar 2 spend like 75% of time being depressed and a lil elevated mood... which #sounds like what u r describing. me: #...yeah. but again its complicated by the 0cd and spectrum issues. but she independently brought up 4dhd. just when i was like no its all #0cd. here we r again. stuck back in the messy overlap. but whatever i got proscribed bip0lar medicine. lam1ctal. we'll see #bc everyone i talk to is like. we need to control the mood 1st. like so u dont die. and im like hm yeah good call lol #she seems super cool tho. like i would love to just talk to her. ugh. she wants to get a handle on the mood and then maybe add a stimulant #bc shes had it happen in thr past where someone comes in with debiltating 0cd and got treated with lam1ctol and a stimulant and the #obsessive rumination stopped. so well see. idk if ill actually qualify as 4dhd enough. well see. fingers crossed #my mood is a lil elevated rn so its all fun. well see if we tip off a cliff bc im getting less sleep and go go going #unrelated #ugh im scared to start the medine tho bc the ssri i got proscribed fucked me up so much. which is also an indicator of bip0lar #god dammit. if this works im gonna have to actually accept the idea of being bip0lar. i mean. it makes sense being on that spectrum #is just sounds insane and i was not expecting it despite my fucking obsession with understanding wtf my deal is #idk. whatever. doesnt matter

[lohstandfound]

Jake spends many long nights at the museum. It keeps him busy. It stops him from going home (but not really home. His home is in a different millenia. His home is somewhere out of reach. His home is someone he catches a glimpse of in the street but disappears before he can catch them).

Eventually it's him and Brooke spending long nights at the museum. Jake's gotten into the habit, and Brooke teases him about how all this time has past and he still hasn't changed. She supposes having company keeps him sane. It keeps her sane. She doesn't want to be alone in their home (as if that's actually home. She can't find it in her to call that home because it's not. It's just the place they live because their home is in these boxes Jake surrounds himself in. Home is the fleeting memory of soft curls and brown eyes, home is the ghost of her lips on her neck/forehead/hand/lips)

#lohst.txt #bmc #be more chill #jake dillinger #brooke lohst #chloe valentine #rich goranski #pinkberry #richjake #(if you squint it could be popular kids polycule) #I imagine Jake and Brooke spend a lot of nights talking #The first few days after Jake broke Brooke out of the stone were difficult #Brooke was fragile #I imagine a lot of tears. Maybe she doesn't talk a lot at first because she went so long without her voice #How long was she even awake for in the stone? Did she ever sleep for as long as everyone else? Was she awake the whole time #Every instance of a gentle touch of physical contact made her crumble #But it's just more of a reminder she's not trapped anymore #I imagine that Brooke and Jake share a bed. Or at least a room #Neither can stand being alone like that and it's comfortable just knowing there's another presence #I still have no idea about what to call this au #My original notes page called it 'new gods old gods' #deities au

[isa-ah]

sorry I could talk for hours. I've done an insane amount of character building w Isaiah over the years

#like ive padded elias and melanies families too #part of me has been hankering to explore elias character more 👁️👁️ lo has been talking about doing a better timeline for hunter #and my kneejerk was that it would be a timeline where melanie raises isaiah and kicks elias out #but if melanie never died i think elias would be a LOT happier #he would still have a lot of toxic tendencies bc of the way his moms and sisters baby him and never say no to him #but melanie is by far the more bullheaded of the two so she would whip his ass into shape i think #in a timeline where theyre still married and happy isaiah would have his aunties on the wells side in his life 😭😭😭😭😭 #baby isaiah sitting in sawyers lap... shut up..... #i actually have a complete belief that if melanie was in his life theyd both be day drinkers together #like boy would be sipping with every meal just like his mom whos a silly drunk with a high tolerance #vs how elias rageful drinking makes him VERY stingy and self destructive around booze #like. melanie would be a huge positive impact but in a lot of ways she would probably nurture bad traits in isaiah #hed be a lot more selfish and nymphish and thats SAYING SOMETHING #a lot more dismissive of other peoples problems bc he doesnt feel desperate to be useful and whole by fixing other peoples issues #and would likewise out a lot less gravity into sleeping around bc he doesnt NEED to stay out of his house so hed have more fun w less care #which wouldnt rlly fly with the guys he usually ends up with 🤔 i wonder how it would change hunters influence in his life #hunter shaves his head in response to elias grabbing isaiah by it. that wouldnt happen! and he wouldnt have to spend sooo much time w ruben #who was his One And Only positive dad figure. that was a huge part of his life and influence! #then again melanie looooves hunters mom whos also around for this timeline so #they would both 👀 be spending a lot ofkf time in the reyes estate 👀 #isaiah and gideons relationship would also be a lot better! #melanies obsessed w gideons moms (high femme and dad butch) and isaiah wouldn't be so violent as a kid #HMMMMMM..... #much to think about #so much of isaiahs personality was scultped by his dads abuse and the people he sought comfort in #his whole life would be restructured

[meteorswrd]

sorry i haven't been around much lovies ! back in uni you know what that means 👊👊💥💥back to that MOTHERFUCKIN GRIND ‼️‼️

BUT i want to get my info pages for S0kka and Haru ( @nagititiis follow me there rn ) tonight..thats what i'm aiming for

#ooc; vegetables and straight talk #((i'll never be over my ooc tag here its so good)) #((ANYWAY i'm gonna resist the urge to nap...bc its like half 9 so i WONT nap i'd just end up sleeping)) #((i'm gonna grab a bite to eat then get to those info pages)) #((idk if i'll write bc im very sleepy..maybe short things)) #((anyways! blowing kisses to the dash mwah mwah!!)) #((oh and also you can catch me on @/primordyalsoul. thats a non-a.tla muse so absolutely no pressure to follow me there but i like to spend #a lot of time there bc shes my most special girl)) #((OKAY NOW I EAT))

[infizero]

light and misa's "relationship" is rlly tragic and fucked but also in an isolated state its really fucking funny. ESPECIALLY if you consider them both to be arospec like i do

#misa is like ''oh light my wonderful boyfriend~!! we need to go on a date we haven't been on one in so long!'' #(i know that when you're dating you're supposed to go on dates. so we have to go on a date every so often to assure me that i'm getting a #good grade in Having a Boyfriend something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve) #and then light is like (internally) 'i would literally rather kill myself than spend time with her but i need her for my purposes so i have #to appease her' (externally) ''ok sure i guess misa'' #and then they go to a restaurant and misa waits for him to kiss her the whole night (she does not attempt to herself) #meanwhile light just sits there and goes nonverbal for long extended periods of time while he monologues in his head about how to appear #like a normal (straight) human being (spoiler: he's really bad at this) #and every so often he'll be like ''you look nice. this food is good. other boring pleasantries'' while glaring as if he's poisoned her food #THEY LIVED LIKE THIS FOR 4 YEARS. #again. awful. but also kind of fucking funny. gay aroace guy and aroace girl going through the motions of a heterosexual relationship for 4 #whole years. they hate each other for sure dawg ToT obvs misa to a lesser extent but i think she definitely had a lot subconscious hate for #light. that only got stronger the longer things went on #also during this time they definitely had sex a Single Time because they got to a point where misa was like we've been dating for like #2 years normal couples usually sleep together way before then...... and light was like. LOUD SIGH. ok #it was terrible. neither of them enjoyed it and they never spoke of it again #gee wonder why that was (holding the ace spectrum behind my back) #anyways they're so awful im obsessed w them. awful apart and even WORSE together. it's beautiful #then you throw L in this mix and it gets even funnier and MORE awful #(he's bi aroace to me btw. for the record) #serena.txt #death note posting

[moregraceful]

Absolute scenes at the ballpark tonight while the SF Giants left their entire roster on base.

Me: so, if Yaz is out, do the Yaz Girlies become other girlies? like are there Conforto girlies?

My friend: no, there are only Yaz Girlies. like, no one else. just Yaz Girlies.

[We contemplate the solid, unchanging state of being a Yaz Girlie.]

Me: Sometimes I walk around my house saying “Yaz Girlie” out loud to make myself laugh.

My friend: I’m so glad this has brought you as much joy as it has brought me.

#apparently the guy she is dating is getting kinda 🤨 that she keeps spending time with a ‘’kasper’’ that uses he/him pronouns #i’m like buddy. i’ve known her since kindergarten #it’s not gonna happen. #it hasn’t happened in the past 30 years it’s NEVER gonna happen #actually apparently a lot of her friends are like that too and she’s like…you don’t get it he’s KASPER #i need all my friends’ boyfriends and cishet friends to internalize the concept of HE’S KASPER #anyway she’s convinced i am the only sabol girlie in the stadium to which i told her i consider this game a win bc i got to see #sabol get a hit and get all the way to third while wearing his jersey #can’t believe no one could bring him home #i would bring him home. i would give him a water bowl and a pillow to sleep on #smh #did the giants win NO they NEVER win this is the 8th game i’ve been to this season and i’ve seen them win ONCE #but i won. bc i saw blake sabol get a hit #also bc beryl sent the final draft of our pod together and ohhhh my godddd it’s perfect. it’s so perfect. it’s the most perfect thing #i was listening to end of it on bart and i had to turn around face the window bc the faces i was making were too goofy #and this lady was still watching me like ?? what’s there to smile about at 9:30pm on bart #fresno oilers.txt #i see you all crucifying me in two different posts and i will respond…later

[vigilskeep]

Do you think keir and anders had a threesome (foursome?) with Isabela?

they joke abt this happening so much that everyone assumes it happened but it did not and now they can’t admit that it did not because they’ve committed to the bit

#serious answer keir/isabela is the one pairing that doesn’t work in my head in any way they r just pals to me #like they r very very good friends i love their friendship sm #a lot of people even assume they’re together i think bc they’re v physically affectionate #but keir is always so intense and committed from the start in a way that i think isabela would avoid like the plague romantically #and likewise her lack of emotional involvement (or unwillingness to admit emotional involvement) wouldnt be for him at that point in life #also isabela is more cautious than i think people assume abt sleeping with people she spends a lot of time with esp professionally #i mean she waits 3 years for hawke 6 years for fen. she talks about how she has less sex than people think and never with her crew etc #and generally agdhsjdkdk i just think she has more sense than to get into the middle of whatever tf keir and anders have going on #keir is a fairly monogamous creature anyway like there are circumstances where that might change but not just for fun #thats why i can rlly see him with any of the da2 lis except isabela i guess #anyway that was a hopelessly long answer to a silly question so i have quarantined it in the tags for shame #hope u enjoyed #keir hawke

[sidoopa]

some low stress oc doodles :]]

#i think the top image is her final colours #she ourple #my ocs #my art #things are tough rn so im doing lots of simple lil bits of art while my dad is sleeping and spending time w him while hes awake #keep him in ur thoughts lads #the venatrix

[peppermintbutch]

Sleepover w my probably unrequited crush was NOT good for me

#going insane. i slept for 2 hours mainly bcs i spent most of the time near cardiac arrest #such a cringefail moment nothing has changed since highschool etc. well it has but ive had 2 hrs of sleep and im being dramatic #i dont even know if shes in a relationship i think maybe shes in like a fwb situation w this guy she spends a lot of time with #who is very nice honestly might not even mind that like everyone here is polyam anyway lol but idk if she even likes me that way at all. #and i physically cannot talk to her abt this i think i'd genuinely die of a heart attack and bury myself alive no matter the outcome #but also i guess my life will stay this way forever if i dont eventually do smth abt crushes but im like SO scared #though i guess realistically the worst outcome is that i embarrass myself. like she's bisexual she's not going to kill me or be disgusted #WELL. Maybe I'll do smth abt this tomorrow (probably not) #but also im soo worried that if it's reciprocated it turns out i dont actually want anything from her #bcs that would mean i have Fucked Up Issues and i don't even know how to begin thinking abt solving them #anyway GOODNIGHT. I am tired and not in a state of mind to do deep psychoanalysis on myself 🗣

[anothermonikan]

Yeah I think I'm objectum guys

#I've been feeling kinda weird because I've been using my new laptop more #but i still love my other laptop!! I couldn't sleep so I decided to spend time with her #i gave her little kissies and huggys and wrote little notes on the screen for her #I feel a lot better ahq #my father keeps saying like 'Oh I'll take that old laptop off your hands' and I'm like noooo I love her :((( #she's mine <3333 #objectum #android.txt

[sollunaastra]

Rare beastie spotted!

#my mum is letting me sleep in her room cause I keep having night terrors in my own #and they’re jolting me awake and hurting my back. a lot. #so rly it’s like I’m six again #just misssjng SpongeBob on the tv tbh #this cat is so senile and hates our dog so she’s not allowed around the doggo #who I spend most of my time with lol so I barely see the cat #sadly cause I adore her even though she’s lost her marbles

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

honestly i really do get the appeal of having separate bedrooms even when in a serious relationship/marriage/partnership. i love having my own space to retreat to. a nest i can tuck myself away into. i love being able to decorate my room exactly how i want it and not having to compromise to someone else’s taste - it’s a space specifically designed to be as relaxing as possible FOR ME. and i don’t think that i’d lose that just bcus i fall in love with someone. and i don’t want THEM to compromise on that shit either, i want them to have their perfect personal sanctuary as well. and it’s not like we can’t set foot in each other’s rooms or spend nights in each other’s beds it’s just - it’s the knowledge that you have that nest. that when you need that retreat, it’s there. there’s so much weird stigma and judgement about what separate rooms must say about the state of your relationship but like. no i get it i absolutely get it.

#u know in gilmore girls when lorelai is dating jason #and she goes to spend the night at his house for the first time but he’s like. sorry can you sleep on the guest bedroom #because he has a lot of sleep issues and gets disturbed super easily and HAS to micromanage every detail of his sleeping environment #so he’s set up the best guest room ever #and lorelai is like. angry at him???? i mean she calms down eventually but it takes a while #i just. couldn’t be me could not be me. #like ur telling me i get to have great sex and a happy relationship AND my own bed that i don’t have to share??? #jason was a dumb bitch i wouldnt wanna date HIM #but that general set-up? i am ON BOARD

[trollbreak]

Man I gotta get like. Any of my plots going so I can rant abt the details of it.

#like mev all but helpless while she recovered bc doc was taking away her arms due to the violence? because Dari’s fucked up magic blood #hurts when it makes her body heal Far Too Fast?? and then when she’s got nothing else to lash out with she’s all snarls and snapping teeth?? #cattra laying on her chest and her getting some half decent rest in??? very promptly getting so attached to her??? the wild panicked look in #her eyes when she’s still half asleep and realizes that doc is carting her off to clean her injuries again and that she’s never kind about #it when she does?? the walls of this stoic woman completely crumbling when there’s no other choice #and peipre hunched in a chair beside marrow as he rests and she’s gripping the armrests so hard her knuckles are white because she’s sure #this was her fault. he got hurt and she found him bleeding and half conscious after she stayed behind again and he almost died. and when dex #makes it into the room she pulls herself together and gives him the kindest rundown she can in the most professional way because it’s all #she’s got to hold herself together in the moment. and he’s just as worried as she is so she’s not going to worry him more with her whole #deal. and when she’s sure dex is going to stay she goes home and calls yarrow off work early and just lays in her lap for hours and refuses #to talk about it. #and sweets hardly resting for several weeks and outright refusing to get unplugged because he Has to be able to keep an eye on things she #Has to make sure that if something happens she can do something this time and he’s so much quieter than usual and when he finally does take #a weekend off again she sleeps so fucking hard with cattra and then feels bad for sleeping through so much of their time #and the whole. thing. that’s jouren’s got going on with mawris right now. they scare the hell out of him and he couldn’t tell you why. but. #if you asked. he would call them his friend. he couldn’t tell you why on that either. he spends so little time with them but there’s this #urge to return lately that. isn’t quite the call of whatever is going on with the mushrooms he’s pretty sure. he’s baking a lot about it. #um #character rambles #:P #I like rotating angst in my brain