#i see you all crucifying me in two different posts and i will respond…later | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jawritter · 4 years

Text

Prank Gone Wrong

A/N: This was a private request from my sister. So you guys don’t crucify me upside down lol. This was originally posted on wattpad, and someone who wished to remain anon asked me to bring it over here. So be nice lol. As always all mistakes are mine! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one. I was nervous about writing it.

**Disclaimer!** This is a complete and total work of fiction. I don’t believe Jared would ever do something like this!! LOL Even though Misha may beg to differ.....

Warnings: SMUT, unprotected smut, drugged!jensen, jared being an asswhole on accident. (kinda), language, exaggerated effects of a drug, hint at reader with body image issues (very brief), male masterbations (also brief). Shifting viewpoints. I think/hope that’s everything.

Pairing: Jensen x Jared, Jensen x reader, Dean x Cherry (reader’s character), Richard Speight x reader, Richard Speight x Jensen, Misha x Reader, Jared x Reader, Jared x Misha.

Word Count: 5103

Want more? Check out my masterlist!

****MASTERLIST****

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen's POV:

"Jensen, JENSEN!" Mikaela screamed at him. Making him jump in his seat.

"Sorry." He said, Settling back down in the makeup chair. Turning his head for her like she wanted so that she could even out the base coat of makeup she was applying to his face.

"You feeling okay? You're really zoned out this morning."

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, just tired I guess." Jensen said. Knowing that was an absolute lie. He wasn't tired at all. In fact he'd never felt more awake in his life.

Today was the day he'd been nervous about since he found out about it. The sex scene between "Cherry," Dean's new love interests.. And Dean. And Cherry just happened to also be Richard's niece y/n.

See Jensen has had a secret crush on y/n since she started working for the show four weeks ago. He'd been separated from Danneel for six months now. The only ones on the set that knew that was Jared. So there was no way that Jensen could ask y/n out even though he really wanted to. He had to wait for things to become public, and he didn't want to do that until the divorce was finalized.

Now here he was, going to have to preform a sex scene with the woman that he can't seem to get out of his head. While everyone, except Jared, thinks that he's still in love with Danneel.

"Morning sexy!!" Jared said, flopping down in the makeup chair next to him. Handing him a cup of coffee that he gladly accepted.

"Thank you!! I was running late this morning, and didn't get go by and grab myself any."

"So you ready for today's scene with y/n?" Jared said wiggling his eyebrows at his friend. Watching him intently as he took a deep swing from his coffee.

"Yea, guess as I'll ever be... "

"Okay Jensen your done!" Mikaela said. Ushering him out of the trailer door. He was running late to the costume trailer as well, so he downed the rest of his coffee, and bolted for the door. Glad to be away from Jared and the conversation at hand. He did not want to discuss today's scene with anyone. He just wanted to get it over with. He definitely didn't want to admit he was fighting everything in him that was excited to see her underneath him, even if it was just pretend.

Jared's POV:

Jared rushed out of the makeup trailer headed toward the costume trailer. Seeing Misha coming out of it already in full Castiel mode.

"Misha you coming to watch Jensen and y/n's scene today?" He asked. Making only two short strides of his long legs in order to catch up with the shorter man.

"I don't know, should I? My coverage isn't until once they're done with you in the bunker library." Misha said. Looking up from his script he was reading when Jared had caught up with him.

" Well you might want to, it might get... Interesting..." Jared said. Almost bouncing on the balls of his feet with glee.

"What did you do Jared?" Misha said. Looking at the overly tall man, concerned, but grateful for once It was Jensen and y/n who were in the line of fire and not Misha himself.

"Well. I was at my uncle's house on the brake, and while I was snooping in his guest bathroom I found some Viagra shots. So.. .I kind of stole one of them... Anyway, I knew Jay and y/n had this scene today, and was running late. So I got him a cup of coffee and brought it to the makeup trailer for him. With the Viagra shot mixed in it..."

Jared was grinning like a criminal that had just pulled off the greatest bank robbery in human history. Misha stood there with his jaw on the ground, caught somewhere between amusement, and concern for Jensen.

"Well did... I'm... Oh my god Jared... Did he drink it?" Misha said. Concern growing, but amusement winning out in the end. He did make a mental note NEVER to accept coffee from Jared ever again...

"Yep downed it before he left the makeup trailer. Come on, it's going to take them about an hour to set up. So it should be good and in his system by the time they get down to business." Jared said taking off toward the costume trailer to hurry and get changed into Sam's outfit. This may be the greatest prank he's pulled yet!!

Your POV:

You were having one of those days.. Nothing was going right. You spilled your coffee this morning before you got to finish it. Cliff was late getting you and Jensen to set, you both lived in the same apartment complex while filming in Vancouver, so you usually just car pooled with them, it was just easier.

Even though you guys were already running late, traffic kept you even later, like the whole universe was trying to cosmically get you back for having a huge crush on this extremely handsome and extremely married man that was sitting next to you.

You where nervous about the sex scene today. No matter how many of them you did, they were always awkward. Add in the major crush you had on your costar, and that made it even more awkward.

Jensen must have been nervous, because he wasn't his normal talkative self on the way into the studio.

It was an hour worth of hair and makeup for you, then to your trailer to change into your nude underwear and robe to head to set. It was also December in Vancouver, which made that a very cold walk.

By the time you got to set that morning. Everyone was there and in place. Jensen was standing off in the corner talking to the director, you took your place already in the bed. For this scene your character Cherry was supposed to be sleeping, and Dean comes into her to.. Well You know... After an extra difficult hunt and your characters argument that you filmed yesterday were Dean had admitted his feelings for Cherry, but ran out of the bunker before she could respond to him.

Stripping your robe you get under the sheets and turn on your side as directed by Eric. Your uncle Richard comes over and kneels down on the side of the bed to talk to you.

"How are you feeling kid, are you sure you're okay with this?"

"I'm a big girl Richard. I think I can handle a little sex scene." You tell him. Trying to downplay your nerves a little.

"Okay, Okay," He said. Throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "You know what's going to happen, Jensen's going to come through the door, stand next to your bed. The coverage is going to be on a sleeping Cherry, Dean will then strip down and slip into the bed with you. That's where we're going to start the fun stuff. Now we haven't scripted this scene. Because no matter how much we've tried we can't make it look real on paper, so we're going to have Jensen adlib it. Just follow his lead. If at any moment you feel awkward or uncomfortable, just let us know and we'll reset and start over again. Okay."

"Okay." You said. Feeling a little information overload, but you should be used to that by now.

"Okay." He said, Standing up as they brought the lights down on set. "Jensen's a professional, don't worry." He said winking at you and making his way over to his directors chair while you tried your damndest to calm down your racing heart rate.

Jensen's POV:

Jensen stood off to the side of the set, letting you get comfortable and covered before he made his way to his mark. Trying his hardest to keep his mind on the upcoming task at hand. To do this with as few takes as possible.

He felt funny, but attributed it to his nerves, and tried to shake it off. Looking over to the side of him behind the camera he saw Jared and Misha standing off to the side by the PA's whispering to each other. Probably going to try and find a reason to make fun of him after this scene is over. Great more pressure.

Jensen adjusted his stance uncomfortably as the lights came down and they called the markers in place. The commands started to come out. Y/n adjusted in the bed and smiled at him. A smile that nearly knocked the breath out of him. The only problem is it seemed to show off her cleavage in the brief moment that she turned toward him.

"Quiet on set!!"

Fuck he was already getting hard, and he hadn't even gotten to the bed yet were she was laying. What the fuck was wrong with him? He tried to low key adjust himself to make himself more comfortable, and hide the fact that he was already having some problems. He'd never done this before. His heart rate quickened.

"Action."

Your POV:

As soon as they called action your eyes closed and you started to put on the presumption that Cherry was asleep. Waiting for Dean to come through the door with battered breath. You never get tired of watching Jensen play Dean. Jensen was sexy to begin with, but when he put on his bad ass hunter act it just did all sorts of things to you that you weren't ready to admit yet.

You could hear the door shut to Cherry's room, you could also hear your heart beating in your ears, but you tried to ignore it. Keeping focused on keeping your breaths even, like you would if you were really sleeping.

You could feel Jensen's presents behind you. Even though your eyes were closed. Hearing Dean's clothes hit the floor as he made quick work of them.

You felt the bed dip as his weight came down behind you, his lips finding your throat. You knew that there was no script to this, and that he was just winging it. So you lay there. Playing off the fact that he hadn't woken her up yet.

His lips ghosted over your throat to the pulse points behind your ears and you couldn't stop the shiver that went down your back.

"Cut!!!"

"Okay guys great so far. I don't think he needs to do that again. The next time it cuts to you guys your already going to be deep in the act. So... Let's start from there. Since this isn't scripted this might have to be done a few times. You guys good so far?" Richard called out from his directors chair.

"Yea, let's just do it." Jensen said, his voice was a little more strained than normal. He must be nervous too.

"Okay you guys get in position and Jensen nod when you're ready."

Jensen adjusted himself to be hovering over you. Trying his best to keep staring at the wall, and not you lying underneath him.

To say that the man was breathtaking was an understatement. A light sheen of sweat already coating his chest. You wondered if they sprayed him before he got into the bed. Why would he already be sweating? Jay wasn't really a sweater. Not that you'd ever noticed anyway.

Finally looking down at you when he'd positioned himself between your legs, trying hard not to touch you with his body. He supported his weight on his arms, and knees.

"You okay?" He asked. Looking down at you finally.

"Yeah I'm good, you?" You were starting to feel a little concerned about him. He wasn't acting like his normal joking Jensen at all. It worried you.

"I'm fine sweetheart don't worry about me." He said, winking at you. Trying to make light of an awkward situation. Even though you had nude underwear on, you couldn't help but feel exposed to him, and you couldn't help but feel self conscious about the parts of your body that you weren't necessarily happy with.

Jensen looked over to Richard and nodded to him. Then the two of you lay there waiting on the words action!

Jensen had his eyes closed and was taking deep breaths above you.

"Quiet on Set, ready, and action!!"

As soon as the words were called Jensen's mouth crashed into yours. Knocking the wind out of you. My god the man was a good kisser.

His lips brushed lightly over your own. That's when you felt him start to move his body above your own, careful not to touch his hips to yours, and keep you covered from the other eyes in the room.

"Cut!!"

Jensen's head connected to your shoulder and he growled in frustration. "What now Rich?"

Richard took a tentative step toward the two of you. Jensen still holding his body above your own.

"I'm sorry Jensen, It just didn't look real, your holding your body too high above hers, you're going to have to have a little contact with each other. You've done this before Jensen. What's wrong today?"

Jensen took a deep breath, looking from Richard to you. "I just don't want to make y/n feel uncomfortable." He said, keeping his eyes focused on the bed comforter. It was starting to make you feel even more self conscious. Did he not feel attracted to you at all? Did you disgust him so much that he didn't want to even pretend to have sex with you?

Quickly you shoved the feels down, you had to get through this scene. He said he just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. He was trying to show you a little respect, and keeping his eyes deviated form you until absolutely necessary y/n quite being so self conscious!! Jensen is your friend!

"Y/n I don't mean to sound crude, but your niece, and I know you can handle it. I've seen you at parties, we're not that far apart in age, I'm sure you're not a virgin." Your eyes narrowed at him, silently daring him not to go too far here.

Richard threw his hands up in surrender, and stepped back a step. "All I'm saying is I don't think he'd make you that uncomfortable if his hips ground into you a little. Hell you both have underwear on. It's not like you're really touching each other."

Rolling your eyes at him and fighting the urge to throw a pillow at his face. "No Richard, it won't make me uncomfortable. Now can we get this done!'

"Fine, Okay guys here we go!" Richard said running back to his seat. "Action."

Again Jensen's mouth found yours. Slow, but gaining momentum. He ran his hand down your side that the camera was covered on and you couldn't help the small gasp that left your lips or the involuntary shiver that ran down your spine at his touch.

What you didn't expect was his tongue to run across your lip. Maybe it was an accident. Was he really going to break that rule? Not that you'd mind, but It just didn't seem like Jensen.

Until you felt it again. This time you give him entrance, and he moans so lowly into your mouth that the camera's wouldn't be able to catch it. The sound is going directly to your core. Soaking your thin layer of panties.

With that his hips came down fully against yours. Grinding into you once. Something felt off, but you couldn't put your finger on it. His hips came down to yours again as his mouth made its way down your throat. This time you felt him.

Was he seriously fully erected right now?

He started picking up his pace. Almost rutting into you now. Little moans fall from his lips.

"Cut!! JENSEN!!" As soon as his name was called. He flew out of the bed. His back to you and his hands in his hair. God his back was sexy, but you could tell there was something wrong.

"Richard I need a few minutes!!" He called over his shoulder not turning around. Jared and Misha burst into a hysterical fit of laughter as Jensen through his robe over his shoulders and almost ran off the set.

"Okay everybody take 30." Richard said. Grabbing your robe you threw it over your shoulders before Jared and Misha made their way over to where you were standing. Jared was laughing so hard he could hardly breath.

"It's not funny Jared. I think something is wrong with Jensen." You tell him as soon as he gets an ear shot. He couldn't respond only doubling over in laughter.

"Oh yea there's something wrong with him alright." Misha said wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "It's hard to do a sex scene when your horny as fuck."

With that Jared fell down on the ground on his back rolling. You resisted the urge to hit Misha in the face.

"What is that supposed to mean?" You asked. You weren't about to tell them what you felt, or what Jensen was doing right before the director called cut, because that wasn't Jensen you knew it. They'd done something to him.

"I mean Jared here slipped him liquid Viagra in his coffee this morning in the makeup trailer. He's not quite thinking with his upstairs brain at the moment."

Running your hands over your face as Jared got to his feel heaving with laughter, trying to catch his breath.

"Looks like he ran off to his trailer to try and get ahold of Danneel." Misha said doubling over in his own fit of laughter. Jared on the other hand froze. Not laughing anymore.

"Oh fuck I forgot." He said, Looking between the two of you.

"Forgot what?" You said. Fighting the urge to go find a step ladder so that you could slap him in the face without having to jump.

"You guys got to promise not to tell this to anybody, but him and Danni are getting a divorce."

Misha, no longer laughing, turned and faced Jared. "So you mean he's got no one to help him out there, and he's going to basically be stuck with a minimum four hour erection. Jared that's not funny."

"I fucking forgot okay, I knew he had a crush on y/n, he was nervous about the scene today, I just wanted to fuck with him. I didn't think that far ahead. He should be able to just beat it off he'll be fine."

You stood there in stunned silence. "He's got a crush on me?" You said. Looking between the two men.

They both stopped and looked at you. Jared visibly kicked himself for this prank that had gone very wrong, very quickly.

"Jared you got to go tell him what you did! He's probably freaking the fuck out right now" You tell him. Jared nodes at you, and runs off toward Jensen's trailer. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He felt horrible, but it was too late to take it back now.

You stood there for a moment weighing your options.

Finally you made up your mind.

"Misha go tell Richard we're going to need a lot longer than 30, and that he should go ahead and just do yours and Jared's coverage, me and Jensen can resume after lunch." You said, stalking your way toward Jensen's trailer.

Misha watched you go. He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face as realization hit him of where you were going, and just what you had planned to do.

Maybe this prank hadn't gone so wrong after all.

Jensen's POV:

"YOU FUCKING What?!?!" To say that Jensen was livid was an understatement. "What the fuck am I going to do now Jared?!" Pacing back and forth across the trailer. He was frustrated, hornier than he'd ever been in his life, and annoyed beyond belief because of the combination of the two. He was also on the verge of panic. He'd never taken anything like this before, so he had no idea how it was going to react to him, he was only about an hour and a half into its effects.

"Jensen I'm so fucking sorry, I wasn't thinking about you not having anyone.... to.... you know..." Jensen narrowed his eyes at him in a death glare. Jared threw his arms up, and backed up a few steps.

"Well guess who gets to explain to Richard why I can't do this scene today?" Jensen says, voice filled with humorless venom.

Jared looked at the ground, and nodded before looking back up at Jensen who's face and neck was slightly red in the tent. Palming himself through his robes subconsciously. Not looking at Jared at all anymore. Just leaning against the wall with his eyes shut next to the bedroom of the trailer.

"Maybe I should take you to the hospital?" Jared asked sheepishly. Jensen through his hand up to shut him up. It was getting harder to concentrate.

"Jared I'm not going to the hospital for this, you've lost your fucking mind."

"Well if you can't get your... self... under control there you may have to."

"Jared get the fuck out."

"But.."

Jensen said nothing just pointed to the front door. Jared nodded and walked out the door. Jensen flopped down on the small couch where he kept his pillow for napping during takes.

Grabbing a bottle of lotion from the table that y/n had left in there when she was there yesterday running lines with him. The thought of her made him ache even more. His mind is unable to focus on anything but her, and what she'd feel like wrapped around him.

Groaning and running his hand down his face, he pulled his robe open, and freed himself from his boxers. Putting a generous amount of lotion in his hand, then began to stroke his aching length. Getting desperate to find some relief.

He'd only pumped himself about twice when there was another knock on his door. Fuck this was literally going to kill, or Jared, he wasn't sure yet.

Your POV:

Reaching Jensen's trailer you still your nerves, reach up and knock on the door.... Nothing. Clif's SUV was still in the parking lot, so you knew he was still here. Just not answering the door.

Reaching up you knock again a little louder.

"Go away Jared!!" Finally came the muffled response through the trailer door.

Taking a deep breath, and thanking God that he hadn't had some massive reaction, or had a heart attack from the medication you steel your nerves. 'You can do this.'

"Jensen let me in please." You yell back through the door. Silence for a moment, Just as you were about to pick the lock you heard his voice a little closer to the door.

"Y/n go away, you don't want to see me right now."

"Jensen please! I know what Jared did to you! Misha is talking to Richard right now! Let me in!"

Silence.

"Don't make me pick the lock Jensen."

More silence.

Just as you were about to pull the hairpin out of your pock to pick the lock on his trailer door, playing a hunter on TV had taught you how to pick a lock pretty well, you heard the latch unlock on the trailer.

Opening the door yourself you see Jensen leaning against the bar that separated the living room from the kitchen section of the trailer.

His face and neck were red, he had a light sheen of sweat still on his face. His breathing was a little heavier than normal. You could only see him from the chest down, seeing as he was standing behind the bar.

"Are they going to cancel the scene for the rest of the day?" He asked. His voice is rough and low. The sound alone sends shock waves through your body. Landing somewhere in your core.

"Yeah, we're off the hook until lunchtime." You tell him reaching over and locking the door behind you. His eyes following your every movement. "Jared and Misha are going to go ahead and shoot their coverage, that should give us about three hours for you to recover."

You start to undo your robe and slip it from your shoulders as you are talking. Your eyes never leave Jensen. He reaches down, obviously palming himself behind the counter. "Y/n... You don't have to do this....."

Deliberately walking around the counter to him. His robe open, His chest showing bare for you to see. His black boxers barely cover his swollen length. Walking up to him you run your hand down his chest. A shiver visibly runs through him, and he leans himself into your touch.

"Let me help you Jay, Jared already told Misha and myself that you don't have anyone that can help you. You don't want to end up in the hospital."

Leaning his head down on your shoulder for a moment. Taking a deep breath before wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Y/n I don't want you to do this because you feel sorry for me." He said, not looking at you, just pulling you closer to him. Your chest now against his. His breathing is getting deeper.

"Jensen I would do this regardless if Jared drugged your ass or not. Have you seen you lately?" You say jokingly. Trying to make light of his situation.

Grabbing his hand you pull him toward the open door of the bedroom of his trailer. He follows you silently without a fuss. Pulling the bedroom door shut behind the two of you.

You lay down on the bed and back yourself up against the headboard with Jensen hot on your heels. His eyes lust blown. Deciding it was no use to fight it. If he didn't do something to get himself off he was going to lose his fucking mind.

Crashing his lips into your his kissed you deep, fully of passion and need. His tongue sliding easily into your lips. Expertly gliding over your own. A moan rose low in your throat, and that spurred him on.

Making his way down your jaw line, to your pulse points on your neck, nipping and marking the skin there as he went.

Reaching around behind you, you arched your back so that he could quickly unlatch your bra. Jerking it away and throwing it across the small room. Taking a moment to look down over you exposed chest. Gently running his fingers between your cleavage as he admired you. Outside your breast. From one to the other before leaning down and gently sucking on each nipple. Making them stand on end for him. Your body arching into his, sucking in a deep breath.

He hissed as your body pressed against him. Ripping your panties off, and throwing them across the room with your bra before removing his boxer. He quickly lined himself up with you. Slipping just the tip inside your already dripping core.

"You sure baby? I don't want to do this if you don't want to. I'll just go to the ER if it gets worse."

Putting your lips to his to silence his worrying, you run your fingers through his short hair as your mouth moves smoothly with his.

Deliberately he slides himself fully into you with one swift thrust. Both of you groaning as he fills and stretches you in a way no man has ever. Visibly shaking as he holds himself still, giving you a moment to adjust to him. Kissing you deeply before pulling himself almost all the way out, and sliding back in.

The sensation of his manhood dragging along the inside of your walls was almost enough to send you over the edge right there. You dig your nails into his shoulders and arching your back into him as he finds a steady rhythm. Both of you are touching and feeling all of each other that you could reach. He kept his body pressed close to yours. His hips hitting your clit just right every time he slid himself home.

Over and over again he repeated his steady rhythm, not faulting once. Building you higher and higher. The coil winding tighter and tighter in your belly.

"Jensen.. Fuck.... I'm close..." With that you were thrown over the edge walls tightening around his pulsing length. Grunting loudly he worked you at a steady pace through your high. Picking up the pace casing his own.

Slamming his hips into you faster until he was pounding into you at a punishing pace. Then starting to falter his body jerked above you and inside of you as he spilled seed deep inside of you. Moaning loudly into your shoulder. Slowly trusting himself into you as he road out his own high. Finally stilling inside of you.

Rolling you both over to your sides before pulling out of you. Kissing you a lot calmer now. Sweeter. Taking his time exploring your mouth, you hands tracing the outline of the curves in your body that you honestly hated. He treated it like it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

You don't know how long the two of you laid there. Just holding each other as your hearts went back to a normal pace.

"How are you feeling now?" You asked him quietly as he ran his fingers through your hair. Peppering you with little kisses.

He shrugged.

"Don't know, ask me again in about 15 minutes. They say that shit he gave me last up to four hours. I still have almost three hours to go...."

"Well.... we're just going to stay here and take care of you until you feel better. Good practice for the scene today..."

Giggle a little with you he pressed his forehead to yours. Taking a deep breath.

"Y/n... I'm a pretty fuck up person. I'm not walking out of that marriage completely fine, but if you will have me, I really don't want this to be just a fling because Jared is a jackass."

You felt your heart flutter in your chest. You couldn't help the stupid smile that spread across your face as you brushed your lips over his soft pink ones.

"I think I can handle whatever you have to dish out Ackles."

"Well in that case remind me to thank Jared for being a fucking asshole and drugging my ass." He said with a laugh. You could feel his body already responding to you as he quickly began to harden again.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to send him a fucking thank you card."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278

509 notes · View notes

incarnateirony · 4 years

Text

Alchemical Overview, Cont’d

Okay so -- tumblr went weird and glitched out on a conversation I was holding with @drsilverfish and some others (x) So reposting the commentary and adding some bits, re silverfish’s “The Alchemy of God-Wounds and Marks in S15“ post. Just continued thought share and some notes for audience that might feel like they’ve missed something in what has realistically been a conversation with Dabberens about the nature of existence and personal agency for at least two years.

Okay so phew! Before I responded to this I wanted to make sure I had read all of your referenced meta since I've been so in and out lately, even if I hadn't replied to it all. I have some thoughts I'll include here relevant to your "Jung's Answer to Job" post, (x) and the general operative understanding of your "Raising Hell map and script" (with some additions I had attached x), but pulled together in this more direct and current post of yours. And frankly a lot of old stuff, just so people trying to pick up aren’t lost referencing some conversations as far back as two years ago re: union (x)

Because first of all wow what a RIDE. Now that I’ve had time to sit down, let me mostly heavily nod at everything you have to say; it might be redundant to talk about the feminine principle, from the old concept of general union on this old like S13 post (x) (Look at that it’s us talking about it. Some Things Never Change Dot Gif) or more recent pieces like my Citrinitas/Reno video (x) balancing the elements you’re raising while trying to help visualize the process not just in color but a torch passing of the proverbial light involved as the moontells her secret -- the light is not her own and is reflected from the soul one builds into with the yellowing in awareness. I find, for those reading meta as much to learn as anything, some suddenly understand the balance of this in process.

A great deal of that was the torch of Mary, which Dean had unwittingly even passed the light to Amara, after long ago sharing it with Cas -- before he lost that light and fell into his father’s shadows, before his father had his marriage renewed and gave away the stone to send John back in golden light. Cas now stands, confused, hearing Dean throw away everything he said the day Castiel chose to fall for him, in every sense of the term, but still tried to stay before, while being thrown recklessly at another dark door, in the wake of the death of his son, Castiel walks away after his own time in the red.

While Dean was steeping in the dark, Castiel carried on the torch saving people with Sam and calming the commoners, not just running death missions, and he’s keeping on with it after walking out; he won’t be thrown into the maw, but that alone spawns its whole character based web of what all processes Dean struggles with in his head over what Castiel even is to him, Chuck’s rank and position minded, even after the absence of Mary, is this something he’s even been toyed with, is that real - Castiel tried to affirm it but now that he walks out Dean packed it up and rolled on.

This is a great deal of backdrop, but now far enough back that it’s worth tapping in review in entering these conversations. The colors were also screamingly loud in several overtly named alchemical episodes, another of which was a Yockey-Speight episode: Optimism, and the opposed Nihilism; Ouroboros and Absence followed, -- “not evil, but the absence of good.” (Lmao just read x)

I would call what’s going on more than mildly reliable in regards to the amount of purpose to the general process is actively being given with as much direct reference to the rest as there is, and in general review before doing the full meta dive; I have to say, well DONE gents.

That brief general spurge aside, I can not emphasize *enough* how important to the idea of the Sacred Marriage or the Holy Eucharist is the fact that it quite literally can be depicted as you know, copulation, so the fact that it was vocalized Chuck tried to send Lilith to seduce Dean in the ways of old, and it simply didn’t work on Dean so plan B whatever -- with all of this other *stuff* going on, the loudness of that is wild in that “cancelled” yellow/red transition. Which just as much has pitched a flash of awareness on Dean bound to deepen in 15.06. (In fact here’s some more Sacred Marriage stuff from earlier this season in no particular order [x] [x] [x] and a bunch of posts of those tarot cards about the Art-Lovers transition after Death that I’ve been spamming repeatedly and y’all are probably tired of)

I can’t say how ecstatic I was to have a conversation with Fitz about the use of color, boldest with Dick Speight, but also passed to others like Tapping -- and how equally excited she was about it too. But as for how loud it bounces, just click (x). In fact it loudly surged in Yockey eps. Hard to say what level of that is coincidence really.

In fact, Ashley’s room captured it very loudly. The yellow was hard to miss, but Dean sat in dark clothes, them both on lead blackish blankets and stark white sheets; Dean’s yellowing is upon him at both the start and end of the episode as Sam and Dean stagger through Chuck’s own manufactured story, Lilith and all. This was focal on Dean and seems so; Sam is running another path entirely as you’ve pointed out.

Each character has been facing their own reddenings as you show, a level of dangerous awareness coming with it at many things that are actually surfacing as their own textual burdens to face -- his literal tie to Chuck, rather than Dean facing reflections of the father; Sam’s duty is to subvert the author itself, even if a great deal of that comes from Castiel as Chuck’s roving blind spot. Other metas of course explore that, so not getting deep into it here; Sam has stayed on point despite some violent awakenings for now and what a weird reversal of yellow eyes this all is in the way of the Sins of the Father (can’t find my old post on that but I’m sure @drsilverfish has one similar; if there’s one thing you’ll notice it’s us lobbing back and forth about this for a few years in the referenced posts).

Castiel’s reddening comes from a mix of facing some fairly raw patches with Dean in their relationship as has been covered amply, and general issues of belonging or believing, as well as just general wellness and self care -- his own agency, which is actually a huge step to be leading on ahead of the humans and yet again asserts him as an agent of free will, and sings true of the gorgon blindness to his antics as far back as season 4 (x).

Now round this conversation back up to how I opened and have reminder of even Bobo himself cropping up when I posted Walk Through The Fire to like it; released after 15.03, sung true two episodes later, “He was never going to stop”, but this is, per Lilith, exactly what Chuck has wanted them to see. Just as much as he’s questioned Cas in his life even most of the battle with or for his brother, it’s all just *A LOT*.

Dean’s reddening is mixed with the result that Sam’s shadows stare into, and a great deal of that leaves the question of the blank space.

The hermetic process literally does not work without the 3 prime substances in harmony (x).The intentional Absence of Castiel is a heavy topic many others have meta’ed to death but the danger right now is that a torch has been taken out of their lives. Dean’s most explicitly, but it’s not like it doesn’t effect Sam, but that’s an entire other conversation. But Castiel’s absence quite literally drained and part of Dean’s own coming upon him will be what the absence of Cas does to both him and them -- him and Sam. (x) And just about all reddenings come in the awareness of the importance of this triad in subverting the author, facing the father, brandishing free will and making Man god of his own fate once the existential crisis blows through.

I think what I’m mostly pointing out is a long running set of harmonics of these colors specifically floating Dabb-Berens-Yockey, and Yockey repeated on his way out the door. It’s worth shuffling through and seeing what Cain parallels really do swing us full circle to exploring that arc from a different angle; a Cas, without his powers, walking out in agency before Colette falls to Cain’s drive, or Rowena’s, or-- Dean’s. Or for now the heavyhanded werewolf brothers -- literally what Chuck wanted them to see. “I can’t stop Samuel.” “Tell me that you can stop.” “I will never stop.” - Cain; “He was never going to stop!” cried the young wolf.

Just as much as the queer narrative itself, general agency is upon the Winchesters right now, if perhaps some parts self improving alone and others in parts; but the color scheming bouncing through all of this modernly is absolutely fantastic. Nothing like Castiel’s reddening charging down the phallic demon of marriage blowing a horn and reflecting Dean’s soldier issues, their dead child, and Dean’s insistance to barge into the dark that Castiel had no interest in opening the door for, but by Dean and Belphegor was shoved towards. He still refused, and left as Amara did, and you’re right, the masculine absolutely does need the feminine, but Sam had his half of the sacred marriage display, and now we’re waiting on another. This should be a fun ride.

And seems to echo back to the Lat project Reflection sequence of crucifying the ego (x); but also finding the anima, the goddess, that has been removed from the animus (PLEASE read the post on SPN’s use of Anima, Animus, the Self and the Shadow) -- Dean literally has to stake up that snake of his daddy issues that climbs him, and Castiel his autonomy issues, and they their general connection; and Sam becoming the living concept of the God Man, Chuck and he having part of each other, reflecting the Yellow Eyed Demon who tainted him, and by which he was to become a demon; and now that, with God. How fascinating both Azazel’s wound and Amara’s bond to Dean were so similarly placed all that time ago, really.

** General disclaimer please do not take as some sort of indicator for a particular XYZ level of thing that tends to vary on people’s wants for textual or physical canon I just mean in the general breadth of it, we’re dancing such a loudly and beautifully painted line.

This post doesn’t even begin to grace on Jack’s mercurial or orphic role in this all (x), but that’s almost an aside that needs its own address.

Wonderful post, silverfish, and just wonderful work from the crew.

Oh and in final regards to the reddening, y’all are probably tired of hearing about my lateralus project that I build midseason last year to spec but “The Patient” -- and what parts turned out in season 15 so far -- may be worth entering into discussion with even some nice retroactive flare from Dabb before he really took over from Carver. So, obnoxious but kinda mandatory plug

youtube

Of course, and another old video I may recommend for those parting it together, especially with Chuck starting to twist the world around in front of our eyes, is my “the Shadow” video that resonates with a lot of this, because I remind you of many things alongside it – like heaven had its own physics where Dumah knew Jack was long gone because his burger was cold, and now, Dean recites Chuck making them live their “greatest hits.” So beyond just the idea of “face thyself” in the below video, think also on matrixes of control.

youtube

#supernatural #spn #meta #my meta #tumblr is weird #pagan life #agency #the shadow #jung #anima #animus #alchemy notes

17 notes · View notes

pamphletstoinspire · 4 years

Photo

Why Pagan Pilate Is Found in the Creed

When Pontius Pilate accepted the post of Governor of Judaea, he never could have imagined that he’d cross paths with God Incarnate, or that his name would end up in the creed recited by millions of Christians every Sunday.

And yet Pontius Pilate is in both of the main Christian creeds, the Apostles’ Creed and the Nicene Creed (see here for a side-by-side comparison).

Both creeds assign a similar role to Pilate. Here’s what the Nicene version says:

For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; he suffered died and was buried.

The Apostles Creed is comparable:

He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell.

As Catholics, we recite the Nicene Creed every Sunday without giving much thought to the pagan in the creed. Pilate is, after all, an integral part of the story of Jesus. Nevertheless, his place in the creed is curious. Everything else in the two creeds is a person, object, or belief of the faith. As far as we know, Pilate never came to the faith and, even if he did, that’s not why he’s in the creed.

We simply cannot accept the explanation that he was casually thrown in. Remember, the early Christians fiercely debated the truths of the faith down to the very letter. At one point, the division between Arians and orthodox Christians hinged on whether the letter “i” should be added to the Greek word homoousious. Without the additional letter, the word declared that Jesus was the ‘same in being’ or ‘consubstantial’ with the Father. The change in spelling, however, would have changed its meaning to say that Christ was only ‘alike’ in being to the Father.

So no, Pilate is not in the creed by accident.

History

First, Pilate’s existence reinforces the historicity of the Incarnation. His reference confirms that Jesus walked this earth and died on it at a specific time and place. The story of Jesus is anchored in concrete events. God entered history itself and Pilate’s presence in the drama reminds us of this. (This is the explanation preferred by patristic commentator Rufinus, who says of the framers of the creed, “They who have handed down the Creed to us have with much forethought specified the time when these things were done.”)

Witness to Innocence of Jesus

Second, Pilate stands as a witness to Jesus’ innocence. In the gospel accounts, Pilate is the closest thing to an impartial judge Jesus was going to get. He examines Jesus and acquits Him of the charges. Luke 23:14-15 recounts his words this way:

You brought this man to me and accused him of inciting the people to revolt. I have conducted my investigation in your presence and have not found this man guilty of the charges you have brought against him, nor did Herod, for he sent him back to us. So no capital crime has been committed by him.

This is a crucial aspect of Jesus’ atoning sacrifice on our behalf: He was innocent. He was the ‘the sinless, spotless Lamb of God’ offered for our sake (1 Peter 1:19).

Pilate’s overall significance extends beyond the two reasons outlined above. In bringing him to mind, the creed beckons us to look closer into the role he plays in the gospel story.

Witness to the Emptiness of the World

We can begin by noting that Pilate marks an interesting contrast with the Jewish opponents of Jesus. Both parties represent opposite approaches to worldly government. If the Jewish leaders in the story were overly zealous for the reconstitution of an earthly Jewish state, Pilate was completely dispassionate and indifferent. He is the personification of the bored bureaucrat who can’t be bothered to take a position on right and wrong. All four gospel account portray his decision to execute Jesus as an act meant to mollify angry crowds (see Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23, and John 18). In Matthew, Pilate even washes his hands in front of the crowd in any effort to shirk any responsibility.

The World’s Rejection of Jesus

It seems necessary that Jesus’ rejection be as complete as possible. His people—at least a sizable portion of them—had rejected Him. Pilate’s sentence thus represents the rejection of the world. Ironically, in a way, this paves the way for all future believers to accept Jesus. Although the next two thousand years would contain many instances of powerful Christian states and Church institutions, at its heart, the story of Jesus is of a God who assumed our humanity in radical humility, asking us to ‘believe also in me’ (John 14:1). The redemptive work of Jesus would not have been possibly had he been the worldly savior so many Jews of the time wanted. Likewise, had a pious Pilate saved Him there would have been no suffering, no death, and no resurrection.

An Admonition to Believe

In the account of John, Pilate doesn’t seem to know what to make of Jesus:

Jesus answered, “My kingdom does not belong to this world. If my kingdom did belong to this world, my attendants would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not here.” So Pilate said to him, “Then you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say I am a king. For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.” Pilate said to him, “What is truth?” (John 18:36-38)

What must it have been like for this Roman figurehead to breathe the same air as God-made-man? What did He see when He looked into Christ’s eyes? Did He sense he was in the presence of something and Someone far greater than what he could comprehend? Pilate certainly seems curious. In the above dialogue, he is clearly feeling Jesus out, trying to get to the bottom of things.

His final question has lent itself to many interpretations. On its face, it looks like the ultimate statement of relativism. Others have seen it as sarcasm or an expression of frustration. There is yet another interpretation, according to Matthew Henry, a seventeenth century Presbyterian commentator:

Pilate put a good question, he said, What is truth? When we search the Scriptures, and attend the ministry of the word, it must be with this inquiry, What is truth? and with this prayer, Lead me in thy truth; into all truth. But many put this question, who have not patience to preserve in their search after truth; or not humility enough to receive it.

Pilate stands as both a cautionary tale and a call to faith. He shows the perils of not pursuing the truth. And, in so doing, he calls us to respond differently. When we seek the truth. When we ask the truth we must wait for Jesus to answer us.

The Mystical Theological Reason

Finally, there is a mystical theological reason for Pilate’s encounter with Christ. It was necessary for the Good News to be announced throughout the world. Jesus preached, of course, to his fellow Jews. But the Word also needed to reach the Gentiles. Of course, the apostles later would spread the Gospel, but it was fitting for the Word Incarnate to do so Himself. Pilate stands in for all the future Gentiles who would hear it.

Jesus’ mission had to be complete. Isaiah 55 describes God’s Word as if it was journeying throughout the world. 1 Peter 3:19 says He even preached to the ‘spirts in prison’—that is, those in hell, announcing to them the Good News they had forfeited. Indeed, in On the Incarnation of the Word, St. Athanasius says Jesus ‘filled’ the whole world with His teaching.

Many before Him have been kings and tyrants of the earth, history tells also of many among the Chaldeans and Egyptians and Indians who were wise men and magicians. But which of those, I do not say after his death, but while yet in this life, was ever able so far to prevail as to fill the whole world with his teaching and retrieve so great a multitude from the craven fear of idols, as our Savior has won over from idols to Himself?

Jesus continues to fill the world with His teaching today through the Church. Thanks to His enduring Presence among us we can be confident we still hear His voice speaking to us from the gospel accounts. And, while His words to Pilate may have fallen on deaf ears, may the opposite be the case with us.

BY: STEPHEN BEALE

From: https://www.pamphletstoinspire.com/

#why pontius pilate is found in the creed

14 notes · View notes

unworthy-stars · 6 years

Text

Embracing Greece Week 9

Hello everybody and happy Easter! Today is a special season for the Greek nation as well as the Orthodox Christian community since it was Easter Sunday and we celebrated the resurrection of Jesus Christ! Thus no one could miss posting about the local traditions and speaking about general customs.

This week we are talking about Greek Easter

As I mentioned before, the other day was the Orthodox Easter (8th April 2018). It is a movable date, just like the Catholic/Protestant Easter and it is always at the end of the Holy Week.

To begin with, traditionally in the Orthodox Church and the Greek community, the Easter is a much more meaningful date than Christmas. In result, it is celebrated more intensively and friskily than 25th December. The reason behind this change isn't just because of the different churches but also because of the meaning of Easter. In Greece, the resurrection of Christ has a meaning of hope and victory since Jesus won over Death and Devil and could go through all tortures to finally take it all. What an allegory.

Of course and it needs a great psychological preparation. So since Clean Monday (an also movable date) until Easter Sunday (48 days) all devoted Christians fast, do not eat any meat, just to be emotionally connected to Jesus. Of course and dates vary between churches and it includes dates such as the Lazarus Saturday.

But all Greek traditions exist in the last week of fasting, the Holy Week (Palm Sunday until Holy Saturday). To summarise everything, I have decided to list everything~

Palm Sunday (Κυριακή των ΒαΪων): Decoration of Churches with Palm Leaves. Local traditions in several areas occur (further use of the leaves) Holy Monday (Μεγάλη Δευτέρα): Dedicated to Joseph, son of Jacob. The Christians go to church to listen to hymns. Holy Tuesday (Μεγάλη Τρίτη): Dedicated to the Troparion of Kassiani (Τροπάριο της Κασσιανής) Spy Wednesday (Μεγάλη Τετάρτη): Dedicated to sinful women that followed Jesus. The day Judas agreed to betray Jesus Maundy Thursday (Μεγάλη Πέμπτη): The Last Supper takes place. Christians paint eggs red and bake biscuits. Girls decorate the epitaph (Επιτάφιος) Good Friday (Μεγάλη Παρασκευή): Jesus is crucified. Strict fasting (drinking is prohibited). Deposition of the Cross and the representation of Christ’s tomb is carried. Important local churches might gather to a central point. Holy Saturday (Μεγάλο Σάββατο): Jesus’ journey in the afterlife. Last day of fasting. Easter Sunday (Κυριακή του Πάσχα): Jesus is resurrected, Big feast.

All you need to know is the fun details below! Do not worry about any Christianity-related points which require Bible extracts. The fun has just begun!

~Everyone knows it is Easter time on Palm Sunday. Greeks don’t do much themselves, but it is the only date they are allowed to start fasting (in case they didn’t the previous 40 days due to health/age reasons).

~Only a few really care about Holy Monday- Holy Wednesday. They are working dates for everyone so the holidays haven’t even started.

~On Maundy Tuesday we have the painting eggs tradition! We paint eggs red to symbolize a myriad of things that no one really knows! The truth is red is an important colour for Christianity as it symbolises the blood of Jesus and His Royalty. It could be connected to other Biblical events including Virgin Mary and Maria Magdalena.

(Here is the process of painting eggs. Photos taken by me, process done by my mother)

~Traditionally girls would decorate the Epitaph (Επιτάφιος) but now it is done by professional florists just so it looks presentable.

~There is a special tradition concerning godparents and their godchild. Every Easter, they have to present the child with a λαμπάδα (lampada- candle) and a gift, as well as a big chocolate egg. This special decorated candle will be lit on Holy Saturday night.

(Here is mine this year. Photo taken by me~)

These candles come in all shapes and colours with every imaginable motifs, patterns and decorative pieces.

(Here are a few handmade chocolate eggs taken from this site)

~During the Holy Saturday night everyone gathers up at the church with their λαμπάδα and wait for it to be precisely midnight and be given the Holy Light, by the priests. As soon as the light is given to everyone, inside and outside the church, the priests and all Christians sing the same song said in the scripts:

Χριστὸς ἀνέστη ἐκ νεκρῶν Christ is risen from the dead θανάτῳ θάνατον πατήσας having beaten Death by death καὶ τοῖς ἐν τοῖς μνήμασι and to those in the graves ζωὴν χαρισάμενος having given the gift of life.

I took a video of the church I went to, but unfortunately due to the bells ringing the quality wasn’t good enough to be posted! Here you can have a better sample of how the night looks like and how the song is pronounced! I repeat that the video isn’t mine.

(Triggers: Christianity, loud noises?)

youtube

~ After the ritual mentioned above families gather up at home and usually burn a bit the entrance of their house, always entering by their right food for luck! Do not worry, no accidents are made and no one burns their door! Since everyone values their properties this tradition has started to fade away but a whole bunch of people still keep up with it!

What matters most about what happens after though...Did you forget already? It is past midnight! It is Sunday! Fasting has ended!

As soon as the Christians return home, they eat a traditional dish called μαγειρίτσα (mageiritsa) which mostly consists of different internals of lamb (συκωταριά), onions, wine, olive oil and lettuce in a soup form!

(Here is the μαγειρίτσα we ate~)

Of course and people don’t enjoy such tastes at the moment so we have a normal feast along with the traditional dish! This is the time we crack the eggs we had painted on Holy Thursday!

How to crack the Eggs: Top 10 Anime Battles

Step 1. Choose your Egg

Step 2. Find an opponent. You track them down by seeing them holding an untouched red egg.

Step 3. Give them the death glare.

Step 4. Hold your egg with the pointy edge facing to the ceiling. Your opponent is about to attack, you have to be patient.

Step 5. They attacked. Has your fighter cracked? Or did your opponent’s hit return back? Either way, you both have a second chance.

Step 6. It is your time to respond. Hold your egg so its butt (round part) is faced to the floor. Hit, gently, your opponent’s butt.

Step 7. The battle is over. Who won? You decide!

youtube

(Here is a slow motion video of the process! It doesn’t belong to me)

~ But the fun doesn’t end here! We are Greeks and the fun never ends!

Later in the day, friends and family gather at houses and start an even bigger feast. In this feast, it is tradition that we roast lamb and yet two other traditional dishes, κοκορέτσι (kokoretsi) and κοντοσούβλι (kontosouvli). Both of them are cooked all over the Balkan peninsula and sometimes Turkey. The first one is made by several internals of the lamb while the second is made by pork.

The feast always includes drinking, dancing and a lot of gossiping.

(This is κοκορέτσι & some sausages made by Grandma Eleftheria)

That was my endless post about Greek Easter! ANY Questions you have, please ask (My Inbox is empty 24/7). ANYTHING you want to learn about Greek culture, please ask. ANYTIME you want, please ask. Please ask!

~Sia

#hetaliafandomdirectory #the-awesome-sia #greek easter

14 notes · View notes

tastethegrace · 3 years

Text

Analyzing “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)”

I don’t often post things as they’re having their cultural moment. However, this song by Lil Nas X, a rap/hip hop/pop artist, who is famous for his song “Old Town Road” a few years ago, has caused quite the stir. On one side of the fence is the LGBTQ+ community, who touts this song as an anthem to the artist’s sexual identity. On the other are the Christians, many of whom have posted warnings on social media, urging fellow believers to “wake up,” guard their children, and many calling down the name of Jesus against the Satanic imagery associated with it. The music video for this song sees the artist depicted as Eve in the garden of Eden, being seduced by the serpent. He is then on trial, then descends into hell, where he himself seduces the Devil. The artist has also partnered with street wear brand MSCHF to produced what many are calling “Satan shoes.” These shoes apparently have contain one drop of human blood in the soul, have a black and red color scheme with pentagrams painted on the soul and attached to the laces.

So first off, the reason I’m writing this post is to critique the Christian reaction to this song and its associated media. It’s important to understand this right off the bat, as I will not be analyzing this song on its artistic merits. Instead, I will attempt to analyze the artist’s intent behind the imagery and symbolism he chooses to use.

If there’s one thing that I have grown to understand, it’s that the American Church has a fundamental misunderstanding of how believers are to interact with culture. We have been stuck in the same culture war for decades, with this idea that we must enforce our beliefs on others, affect change through politics and protests, and fear all that is antithetical to the Christian belief system. This latter point is the most significant, and one that many of my Christian friends may dispute.

Let me explain here. In the age of social media, everyone judges and reacts quickly, posting their affirmations and protests for everyone to see without putting much thought into what they’re actually critiquing. Sadly, the American Church, most of the time, has followed suit. Rather than choosing a different way to interact with the world on social media, it has become a leading reactionary voice -- a more intense version of what already exists in the mainstream. It has so become the case that the world looks on and mocks.

As a younger Christian, I went with the flow, just as everyone else did. But as a I grew up, and especially in college, I learned the importance of questioning, of slowing down, of considering the ins and outs, the truths and lies present in our everyday world. I believe this process gives insight into the presence of God in our everyday lives, presenting us with his truth and beauty, present even in the darkest of places. It also gives us the ability to, like Jesus, call something what it actually is, diminishing its power, and responding to it with the importance/weight it deserves.

Now understanding this context and the process by which I will move forward, let’s talk about this song. First of all, the lyrics explicitly discuss the artist’s encounters with one specific person, a male in this context. There’s a couple of levels to this song. The first, that many in the LGBTQ+ community point out, is that he says that his partner “lives in the dark,” while he himself “cannot pretend.” This refers to the fact that his partner is a closeted gay man, while Lil Nas is out. As for the rest of the lyrics here, Lil Nas discusses his attachment to this man and the sexual experiences he has and wants to have with him. He mentions the use of drugs to illustrate a hellish environment. On a deeper level, evidenced even more clearly in the music video, Lil Nas is using this situation as a metaphor to reach out to his former, closeted self.

In the interest of digging for the truth, I would go one step further here. While it is obvious that the artist wishes to affirm his former self and encourage a lifestyle that is honest, at the very least, he also confesses what he wants very clearly. All of the explicit imagery here is true to his experience. So what does he want? He wants deep connection, intimate experiences, and he’s ultimately willing to go to “hell” to get it, even if his partner won’t come out.

Why is it important to understand this? Am I trying to affirm how Lil Nas gets what he wants? No, but that’s also not the point. Understanding the artist’s questions are just as important as understanding his answers; in my opinion, even more so. In order to make any sort of true judgment of merit or integrity, either subjective or objective, it’s important to understand fully how the artist is coming to his conclusions.

Moving on to the music video, I’m going to use an analysis posted by reddit user margarita_atwood, as she discusses much of I what I found myself.

Everyone is going to have an opinion on this video, whether that opinion is heavily in favor or disfavor...Later, I’ll talk about why the negative opinions about this video don’t really matter and actually play right into LNX’s plans.

Lil Nas as every character: Through the miracle of CGI, LNX plays every single character. Some people might interpret this as LNX making love to himself in some scenes, but I think it has more to do with the Jungian concept of the Shadow Self (explained some in this video). There’s definitely some interesting psychology behind LNX playing all the parts. He’s talking to himself, seducing himself, running from himself. And I don’t think it would have had the same impact if the main characters were played by anyone else. He’s definitely being a little narcissistic, which he winks at with his own face on a Narcissus flower (daffodil) that I’ll get to next...He also says in the intro: “Welcome to Montero”, which is both this fantasy land he is creating for us in the video, and introducing us to his real self, saying welcome to the real me.

Scene 1- Garden of Eden: In the first scene. We’ve got the temptation of Adam by the snake/Satan in the Garden of Eden story mixed with Greek classical architecture motifs (sans Eve, as LNX raps “If Eve ain’t in your garden/ You know that you can/ Call me when you want”). In the reaction video I mentioned earlier, LNX talks about how growing up gay in a black church (or any church for that matter) made him repress and feel ashamed about his budding sexuality as a young adult. So while the lyrics are explicit, all of the themes in the video are very pointed allegories about how he’s dealt with his sexuality. He runs away from his tempting snake-self, meanwhile running past a Lion King-esque Mufasa cloud featuring his fate/destiny, and Narcissus flowers AKA daffodils (in the Greek myth, daffodils grew where Narcissus drowned after staring at his own reflection for too long), only to be caught by his temptation in a scene that gives me a ton of Labyrinth vibes. After his literal fall with possible Paradise Lost references to this perceived “sin,” we nearly see his alien-snake-self fellate his Adam-self. Finally, we close in on a shot of Greek writing on a tree. Some people smarter than I were able to find out that this is an excerpt from Plato’s Symposium which reads: “So in the beginning when they were cut in two, they yearned for each other’s half.” Symposium is basically a bunch of Greek philosophers telling metaphorical campfire stories about love (let’s ignore once again problematic themes of statutory rape in some of this). The excerpt in the video in particular is a part where one of Plato’s students Aristophanes gives an account of the origin of soulmates. Originally people were joined as two people to make one whole person. In this story, there were male/male, female/female, and female/male pairings and the gods became jealous and split them in two. The Montero excerpt is explaining this splitting of soul mates where they’re doomed to long for their other halves to become whole for eternity. Lots of allegories there regarding LNX trying to seduce a possibly gay man who is still in the closet.

Scene 2- The gladiator’s Colosseum: LNX then is taken as a prisoner in chains to a Greek colosseum, also full of LNX judges in Marie Antoinette wigs and faceless LNX mob spectators. I believe his character in this scene is supposed to be a Ulysses-type as his pink, fur shawl he’s wearing has a ram’s head broach...the blue LNX jury sentences him to...jail, and he gets literally stoned to death... Ulysses-LNX presumably dies and his soul is being lifted up to the heavens. An angel awaits him above, with a lot of Creation of Adam motifs (which was also hinted at on LNX’s IG). But just before he reaches his guardian angel.... a stripper pole rises up from the earth...and he rides that b**** all the way to the seventh inner circle of h*** in some thigh-high boots, tricking all the way down.

Scene 3- Twerking on the devil: And now we get to the biggest scandal. LNX said to those of you who think gays deserve to go to hell, watch me go to hell and give Satan a lap dance....he’s one-upping the shock factor in each part. Think it’s scandalous to go down on myself? Just wait. There’s some trolling of Illuminati/Satanist conspiracy rumors in the motifs. Honestly, the purpose of this scene is that he knew religious types would try and metaphorically crucify him over the lyrics. So he said let me beat you to it. He’s trolling the religious hater that I’m sure made his life growing up a proverbial hell already. And hey, the more times they stream and react to the song out of anger, the more money he makes from their anger. And then he goes and pulls a mafia hit, killing Satan after seducing him, and taking his horns of braids and becoming the fallen angel...

While perhaps not stated the most eloquently, and obviously from a more approving light, the OP gives us some insight into the symbolism used in this video. On first glance, the believer might gag at how biblical imagery is used and twisted here. However, I would encourage that believer to be patient and consider for a moment a few things.

1. If we let our gut reaction to this imagery become our public reaction, we prove the artist’s perspective of believers correct in the eyes of the world.

2. If we consider the symbols and imagery used, it is obvious that this piece was intricately planned by Lil Nas to suggest his conclusions through the subversion of cultural norms. This is not a new technique by any means, and it is important to acknowledge this.

3. Remember that Lil Nas was raised in the church. His use of biblical imagery is intentional here. If you detect a hint of bitterness in the twists he uses, that’s because there is, and not without reason.

See, I think that if Jesus looked at this video and gave us his reaction, it would not be a warning to us to guard our hearts. That’s common sense. I think it would be sadness that Lil Nas has not experienced the true intimacy and connection that he so desires in a healthy context, but also that he would be so bitter as to use the imagery as a “F*** You!” to the church. Granted, this is all speculative, but when I look at Jesus in the gospels, I never see Jesus trying to separate or isolate his disciples from sinners. He sees right to the heart of why sinners sin, and urges his disciples by example and speech to have compassion. It is the the Pharisees and teachers of the law who he preaches against, urging his disciples to guard their hearts against them.

Finally, there’s the even bigger deal being made in Christian circles of the “Satan shoes.” Let me set the record straight here. This company put out “Jesus shoes” a couple of years ago that claimed to have holy water in its soles. This was a stunt by the artist for the very purpose of causing controversy. It was done out of anger. The imagery only has power if we let it be something other than what it is.

I have seen so many people decrying the use of this imagery as an act of devil worship. That’s not what this is. Is Lil Nas believing a lie? Most certainly, as all humans do every day. But this should not be shocking. We must look behind the symbols to what they’re really pointing to.

In conclusion, I felt that it was important to share my feelings on this, as the social media chatter is a prime example of how the American Church has lost its way. However, on a more personal note, I have a lot of history and connection that helps me to deeply understand what’s happening in this song. That drive for connection, that willingness to put myself in horrible places to find it, the feeling of dirtiness and the running away from it...and especially the now often used intimate metaphor “call me by your name,” referring to the book/move of that title...I’ve been there. I even embraced it for a time. So more than most, I am more inclined to have compassion on those who are in that place, even if they don’t see the fruitlessness of it. The Lord has been good to me. He was with me in that place, just as he is with me now. It is important for all who call themselves Christians to remember that before we judge, we must seek empathy and compassion, fullness of understanding, and most of all, the heart and mind of Jesus himself.

#culture #review

0 notes

moreracquetball · 7 years

Note

oh my GOD that idea that you just mentioned about the fan response??? would literally die for that wtf and tbh i just want to see a lot of jason and whizzer interacting because i Always live for that

Media/Fans

the media finds out about them before they’re even like officially dating. Somehow one lucky paparazzi person that is on like stealth mode gets a picture of a tender moment when Marvin and Whizzer are out together somewhere. In the picture, Marvin is like brushing an eyelash off of Whizzer’s cheek or holding his hand or doing something really sappy (basically trying to communicate to an emotionally-stunted Whizzer that hey sleeping together is cool and all, but I want to actually date you, you know). Well, the news BLOWS UP with headlines like ‘Whizzer Brown’s Mystery Man’ and ‘Playboy baseball player settling down?’ and everyone scrambles to find out just who Marvin is. Once they find out that Marvin is a divorced dad, news outlets like TMZ are flooded with headlines like (thanks to @a-lesbian-from-next-door-too for this GEM of a headline) WHIZZER BROWN WITH DILF???

Whizzer Brown secret boyfriend is the most searched thing on Google that day.

All production in the tabloid industries stops as editors bark for their reporters to dig up more on this story. Journalists scramble for any bit of info they can get on Marvin.

And here comes disastrously incorrect articles like:

Marvin was actually still married when he and Whizzer started “dating.” Whizzer was the cause of his divorce.

Marvin is like 15 years older than Whizzer and is basically using Whizzer for his money.

Marvin has been Whizzer’s secret boyfriend (HUSBAND???) for over ten years now and it’s been kept well hushed hushed secret bc Whizzer has built a brand out of Gay Baseball Player/Playboy.

Jason is Marvin and Whizzer’s adopted child.

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Marvin and Whizzer are not actually together at all. Marvin is not even gay! Whizzer just wanted to rebrand himself from “player on and off the field” and so hired Marvin to be his fake boyfriend (pretending to be “settling down”). (this prompts a startled Marvin to exclaim, “How could anyone think I was straight???” to which Whizzer dead-panned responded, “Honey, no self-respecting gay man dresses like that.”

Also consider the TMZ panel (also credit to @a-lesbian-from-next-door-too for this exchange, too)

“Marvin? What kinda name is Marvin?”

“I know. It’s such an old man’s name!”

“It’s like he was born a middle-aged dad, you know?”

“Uh, guys, Whizzer is a pretty stupid name, too. When you think about it. I mean, who names their kid Whizzer?”

“No one asked you, Brent.”

“Yeah, Brent. Shut the fuck up.”

Marvin finds out about the news bc he goes to work the next morning and some asshole coworker has taped all the headlines around his desk (the DILF headline is blown up and taped over his entire desk).

Marvin is obv pissed and lowkey anxious bc he doesn’t want this sort of attention to negatively affect him or (GOD FORBID) Jason. Whizzer himself is just a little annoyed and sees that Marvin is upset, so he tries to like make the issue go away by tweeting out: “tfw ur out with one of ur booty calls and ppl think that just bc he held ur hand u two are getting married’. And uhh, this makes the media die down but Marvin gets more upset bc hey asshole I think I’m falling in love with you but apparently I’m still just one of your booty calls, huh? And Whizzer gets mad bc Marvin is mad and he just tried to make Marvin less mad, and angst angst angst.

When they do get together, Whizzer posts a picture on Instagram of the two of them with the caption 'tfw you fall in love with one of your booty calls’. And the Internet just kinda explodes.

Fans are a little mixed. On one hand, they’re happy that Whizzer seems to be happy. On another, they’re terrified that a relationship will somehow hurt Whizzer’s playing. They then shut the fuck up when Whizzer plays the most vicious game of his entire career and just throws the best pitches and just basically almost single-handedly eviscerates the other team. At the press conference, people ask what’s up with Whizzer’s playing, and one of Whizzer’s team members just sorta smirks and answers for him, “He has a lot of pent up tension and aggression. He hasn’t seen his boyfriend in like a month [bc it’s the peak of the season and they’ve had to move around a lot to different cities and such]."

Guys guys guys guys, I cannot begin to describe just how i c o n i c Marvin becomes so quickly.

Because once they’re like “official,” Whizzer spams his instagram account with Marvin - Marvin in a new gifted Red Sox jersey while Jason (in his decked out Yankees uniform) glares mockingly at him; at the park during a crisp fall afternoon, Marvin breathless and red-faced and caught mid-laugh; Marvin comically but dead-seriously holding a baseball bat with a stance and grip that makes Whizzer and all baseball fans around the world weep; Marvin Jason and Whizzer, in a cheesy selfie after a really tough game; a picture of Marvin’s back as the man is hunched over an oven (this one has the caption “I love when a man puts the steak in ;) ” ); a particularly artsy one with a black and white filter, with Marvin (asleep, hair mussed, naked but only his bare arms, shoulders, and upper back is not obscured by the white sheets) asleep in their bed. The fans lose their minds over these pictures, along with the little tibits of info/stories that Whizzer shares when prompted about what a dorky/lame/baseball-hating/he-writes-me-poetry-literally-what-a-fucking-nerd that his new boyfriend is.

When tweets and questions about Marvin keep buzzing Whizzer, Whizzer kindly asks (not forces, Jeez, Marv, don’t make it sound like I held a gun to your back) that Marvin get his own instagram/twitter accounts so they can just fawn over Marvin directly and leave Whizzer the hell alone to answer questions about baseball and photography and not about his relationship every fucking five minutes

This turns out to be a mistake. Marvin amasses ten thousand followers in six months. The guy barely even posts about Whizzer himself. He posts about broadway reviews and retweets funny cat pictures and every once in awhile, he posts partiuclarly needling things like how chess is better than baseball and he tags and @’s Whizzer in all of them. And everyone??? Loves it??? Whizzer is a little jealous at how people fawn over Marvin?? Like where’s some Whizzer love??? Whizzer is still the twunk that everyone loves, right???

Marvin is slowly accepted by the baseball wives. They’re catty and cliquish and they make Marvin’s life a living hell those first few months, but when Marvin does not take their shit and keeps pushing back, they grow to a mutual understanding that soon turns into begrudged respect that eventually turns into tentative friendship that eventually much much later turns into “if you dare utter one mean word or look at Marvin the wrong way, I will slit your throat with my sharpened, manicured, pastel pink-painted nails.” Whizzer shares one picture on his insta of Marvin with the baseball wives, with a glass of champagne in his hand and looking like he’s talking shit and the other baseball wives are laughing and eating this shit up, and he captions it: I think my boyfriend joined a cult.

The media as a whole leaves the two alone after they turn out to be just a regular couple and not that interesting?? EXCEPT EXCEPT EXCEPT (see next bullet point)

Okay, so Marvin hates baseball, right? This is established. This is well known. This is Fact. Well, after they become like “official” and the media now knows who Marvin is, news outlets start to attack him/make fun of him/crucify him for looking bored at Whizzer’s baseball games. Like he’ll have his phone out or he’ll have his chin propped up with his hand as if trying to combat sleepiness and sometimes he brings like a magazine to read and he always has that bored, vaguely pained “I do not want to be here right now” look on his face. And any time that the Red Sox makes a good play or gets a homerun, it’s clear that he’s been spacing out bc whenever the people around him start cheering, he likes jumps and does that weak, wide-eyed “Idk what just happened and i kinda want death right now but I am being supportive” clap (one time, he zoned out and Whizzer’s opposing team got a homerun, and Marvin just started meekly clapping bc he heard the crowd doing it and ESPN and TMZ and all the news outlets had a field day of making fun of him).

And the media??? is like “why are you not supporting your partner? You embarrass him by looking so bored. Can’t you learn to love the sport if you love him??” and being really bitchy about it. And Whizzer gets pissed and so goes on air during a press conference - when some smart-ass reporter tries to make a barb about Marvin looking bored and in pain - and says really bitchily, “Guys, Marvin just doesn’t like baseball, okay? Yeah, that makes him an idiot - because baseball is incredible - but it doesn’t make him a bad partner. I don’t expect him to love the things that I love. I like that we’re different, you know? That makes him less boring. Like, he goes to my games even though he hates baseball. That is being supportive. Like fucking hell, guys, I’m with him because he makes me laugh and has a great ass - not because he’s some super baseball fan.” CUE MIC DROP.

And yeah, there are homophobic reactions to the relationship. Facebook groups dedicated to it. Marvin gets hate mail and one time got like yelled at on the street. Some of the media’s stories are overtly homophobic and overly crass. It’s 2017, sure, but there are still idiots out there.

Marvin and Whizzer don’t let the attention - good or bad - get to them. They just keep being in love and posting overly sappy instagram posts about their anniversaries and poking fun at each other on twitter and the attention never breaks them.

I will posts Jason specific headcanons later but like dang, this took a lot out of me bc I have a lot of FEELINGS and if you have more headcanons about this topic, reblog and add your own bc I’m curious how you feel the media/fans would take this.

#this got too long #ask #baseball au #send more requests i love this

127 notes · View notes

burnedlegate · 7 years

Text

Chapter I - Catching Fire

um, ok, so here it goes? the first chapter of my Finn/Daniel fanfic. i want to eventually post this on AO3, so idk if I’ll add another chapters here, but let’s say this is.... a trial?? first of all, i have no idea how tags on AO3 work and tbh they scare me, also, as i said in the previous post, i’m not a native english speaker and i often mix up the tenses and stuff (also the quotation marks are wrong, i mean, not english but czech, but i didn’t think i was gonna publish this when i was writing it so... yeah. and i’m not editing that shit now),

so.. that’s a thing. i’ll be happy for any kind of feedback, especially if it’d about some typos or stuff like that! now i’ll keep trying to gather courage to put this on AO3 :’D

People say that everyone has a home somewhere, waiting for them. The courier‘s oldest brother used to say that, but the way he spoke about home – for him, it was a concept to be abandoned, useless, futile. Veronica used to say that when she talked about the Brotherhood of Steel and her ideas about its inovations, and she said it even after what she was evicted from the order and refused to step inside the bunker. Ulysses, whose home was irretrievably destroyed, said this to her, and he stayed true to his words, watching over the land and its horrors to this very moment.

Her father used to say that, and when he said that, he spoke about their mountain cabin in the Mahagony Mountains in Utah.

That cabin was irretrievably lost now, incinerated into ash and burned carbon. One could say home isn’t a place, but a person; but her father was gone as well, crucified by the Caesar’s Legion.

The courier, Finley Jäger, didn’t have a home. She thought California could become her home, but the forced patriotism couldn’t replace the feeling of safety and certainty. She thought Nevada could become her new home, but that very thought forced her to flee the country to… this place.

The courier didn’t have a home. She used to have a mountain cabin, and she used to have a father. Now she stood in the Zion Canyon, and she realized that she’ll never be closer to that memory than now.

This feeling, this moment – you’ll never have it again.

„Hey, Finley,“ Jed’s voice interrupted her. When she turned to face him, the caravaneer working for the Happy Trails Company spoke again: „I was sayin‘ that in case the New Canaanites won‘t be able to get us back home, you’ll step in with your Pip-Boy and your maps. Since Ricky run away, you’re our only option. We can count on you, right?“

Finley, known as Finn among friends, raised her thumb up.

„I’ll take that as a yes,“ Jed squinted, and the courier responded: „Yeah. Sorry, was savoring the moment here.“

„It sure is beautiful here,“ Stella said. With that, Finn finally stepped away from the ledge.

Jed sighed loudly. „Enough lollygagging! Get moving and keep an eye out for tribals!“

„Sir, yes, sir,“ Finn answered avidly and the caravan started moving again with two mercenaries in front, two behind them, Jed in the middle and her and Stella right behind him. Stella adjusted the rifle on her back and interjected: „Sorry to bother you with reality, ol' Jed. Who cares if we can't get back out the way we come? That's not a problem.“

„It’s simply the way it is,“ Jed answered, visibly trying not to sigh again, and slightly sped up to avoid more remarks of his companion. Stella obviously didn’t miss it as she muttered under her breath: „Heard you the fifteenth time, Stella. What's it matter if we're trapped here? Everything will be just fine.“

„What’s this about?“ Finn asked, surprised by Stella’s anxiety.

„Well, if you were listening, my dear courier, you’d have heard me expressing my deep concerns over us getting home, because we sure as hell ain’t going back the same way,“ Stella said, and the courier just shook her head: „Hey, we’re cool, I got my maps and everything!“

„Just like you got your big backpack and everything?“

The courier puckered her lips: „You just won’t let that go, will you.“

„Well, considering the fact that you stated that you’ve been here, I found it really curious that you thought you could bring a whole damn armoire with you,“ Stella answered.

Before the courier could answer anything, Jed suddenly stopped dead on his tracks, looking alerted – both of the women almost bumped into him.

„What’s up, Jed?“ Stella asked with an obvious hint of the everpresent anger in her voice; but the caravaneer put finger to his lips, shushing her instantly. Then he said very, very quietly: „Hold on, now... could swear I heard something up ahead.“

In that very moment, the mercenary in front of them fell to the ground. Dead.

„Fuck,“ Finn breathed out as the brain of father of tree and rancher from California of the name Timothy Wells splattered on the ground. „Fuck,“ she breathed out again when she was crawling for cover behind a boulder with Stella following her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

„Goddammit, ambush! Cover, people! Watch yourselves!“ Jed screamed and did the same, hiding behind a boulder close to her. Finn pulled out her weathered 10mm pistol, which she truly didn’t expect to pull out so soon, and aimed at one of the ambushers placed on the cliff above them. But the paint on his face, his braids, his weapon-

„Holy hell, it's the White Legs! What are they doing this far south?“ Jed screamed to confirm her worries, and Finn breathed in, and out, because-

It seemed – it seemed her worst worries came true. She came all this way for nothing. She came to herself just in the moment to crouch to the ground to evade a flying tomahawk, which, luckily, pushed her back to reality. There’ll be time for mourning later.

If there’ll be a later.

„Goddammit, never should joined this assbackwards caravan,“ Stella cursed under her breath and fired a few shots from her laser rifle. Finn fired a few shots at the White Legs on their terrain level, because she had a scant view on the White Legs above them in her current position. She looked around and found out that most of the mercenaries, which the company hired, were dead.

„We’re sitting ducks here!“ Stella screamed. „We need to get out of here, fast!“

„There’s no way out of here!“ Jed screamed back. Finn looked down from the cliff to the river which flew through the canyon. It’d be… quite a fall. But they couldn’t push through the tribals. And they couldn’t go back. They were, very effectively, trapped – and they were losing.

„Enough of this!“ Stella suddenly screamed and stood up. „Here I come! I was a sheriff once, goddamn it!“

With that, she charged at the White Legs.

„Stella!... Oh no! Don't you die on me, woman, you hear?“

Finn shot at another tribal, killing her. At least she thought she did. It seemed like whenever they killed one, another one popped up from nowhere. They had to get out of here.

„Jed! We need to go!“

„There’s nowhere to go!“

„We can just jump down-“

„Are you out of your mind?!“

„We can’t fight through them!“

Suddenly, a blast threw both of them a few feets back. The only thing Finn heard for a while was an annoying humming noise, and then it was humming coming from Jed’s pistol who shot down a tribal woman coming at them with a shishkebab. A shishkebab. Where the hell did they get these weapons?

Something pulled her up to her feet – Jed – and gave her an intense look, and screamed, but Finn had problems comprehending what he was trying to say.

„On your feet! Keep fighting! Come on, I got ya…“

He tried to move them both behind another cover. But it was too late. It was always too late.

***

The young missionary, Daniel Young looked down from a cliff to look at the Narrows and it inhabitants, currently waking up to a new day. The Sorrows got up and went to sleep with the Sun; the Sun’s been up for two good hours and the tribals were cooking fish on the fire, getting ready for scouting the area, waiting for the morning service.

He was walking around the camp for two good hours. When he woke up after five in the morning, he managed to calm himself down by this perambulation (perambulations) around the Narrows, but it never really helped. And it surely didn’t help him rest.

It’s been a long time since Daniel had a good night sleep. Sleep used to be an escape for him, from this world to the world of what could have been; now it’s become an obligatory route to the world of what happened, what he saw, what he had to see, and his mind was forcing him to go through these moments again and again and again. Sleep was, of course, necessary for survival, but Daniel Young wasn’t its greatest fan, so to say.

Now, he’d usually go over his supplies, but honestly, there wasn’t much to go over. It’s been a long time since he’d seen some proper supplies, and the situation wasn’t getting any better. He didn’t have the time to go look for them himself, and the Sorrows couldn’t go either, considering most of the tourist spots taboo. And then there was always Joshua, telling him that they don’t really need the supplies. That there’s a simpler solution.

Much simpler solution.

Daniel sighed and adjusted his hat. Watching over the Sorrows always woke some inner peace in him; Zion had the same effect, being as beautiful as it was. Daniel wished he could stay, but…

He turned to look at the Zion Canyon, spread in front of him like a picture.

But what he actually saw made him stare in shock.

Even though he was stuck in his inner monologue, which usually lasted for a long time (because he usually thought about what could go wrong and there was always a lot of things which could go wrong), his eyes managed to ignore his inner dilema and registered an atypical appearance disturbing the awakening landscape – he saw two persons.

People.

The first one he recognized. The tribal markings of the Dead Horses, the cap – he remembered this particular scout, and if he remembered correctly, his name was Follows-Chalk. The other figure, however, was a whole different story.

First of all, it wasn’t a tribal. It was, very clearly, an outsider – and Daniel knew outsiders. He knew mercenaries, NCR prospectors, raiders. Which one of these was the woman accompanying the scout, that he did not know, but he immediately got that suspicion that she’s up to no good. Maybe he was wrong, of course, and it was wrong to judge someone by the first impression.

But the thing was, first impressions mattered now – and they especially mattered when he had a tribe to protect.

He woke up from his reverie (though he was not sure this was the right term to call it) and headed down from the cliff. He passed some of the Sorrows‘ scouts who gave him confused, questioning looks, meaning that they became aware of the people approaching as well. He simply nodded at them, suggesting that he has the situation under control.

Which he did not.

Once he got in their line of sight again, the scout and the woman saw him too. He finally got a good look on the woman – ashen hair, freckles spread on her face, a hunting rifle on her back. The scout looked mildly distressed, but he seemed to be keen on following her. That, however, didn’t have to mean she posed no danger to him. To the Sorrows.

Daniel thought, and immediately regretted the sentiment – how much better would it be if she run into Joshua instead of him. It surely was strange that her first stop was here, and Daniel just felt his heartbeat getting faster, possesed by fear.

Finally they stood face to face, the woman measuring him with her gaze. He realized that his hand was on his holster, but it was too late to appear charitable now.

„Uh... I apologize if this comes across as a less-than-cordial welcome,“ he said. „But how did you get in here? You from the Mojave?“

The woman opened her mouth, and closed it. It appeared that she was considering what to answer, or more likely, in which way to answer. However, before she actually said anything, Follows-Chalk replied for her: „She came with a caravan, but the White Legs ambushed them! She is the only survivor.“

The woman didn’t say anything, only gave the scout a quick look. A quick one, as if she wanted to keep her eyes on him. Then she finally spoke.

„A Happy Trails Caravan, yeah. If the name rings any bells. Not like it has to anymore. Everyone’s. You know,“ she paused, and added in much quieter voice: „Dead.“

The way she said it made Daniel freeze in the spot for a second. He wasn’t sure if to let go of his holster or just hold it tighter. And yet, another emotion, besides whatever this was, was sympathy.

He decided to put his hand away from his gun.

„That’s,“ he sighed. „I'm so sorry. That's terrible. The tribals, White Legs – we’ve been having a lot of problems with them recently.“

The woman didn’t say anything, so he continued: „In fact, that's why I'm here. I'm Daniel, a New Canaanite missionary to this tribe, the Sorrows. I think it important that you speak to my colleague, Joshua Graham-“

„That’s what I said, but she refused,“ the scout said urgently. The woman scowled and said: „That’s not how I’d put it, I simply decided to seek alternatives.“

Daniel paused. „I – okay. I’d simply feel more comfortable if-“

„No offense, but you’re sending me to Joshua fucking Graham. We came here looking for New Canaanites, not the infamous ex-Legate!“

Daniel blinked few times, slowly. „Joshua Graham is a New Canaanite, just like me. I assure you, he is on our side here.“

„Our side?“ the woman parroted. „You including me in that sentiment as well now, huh?“

„Sentiment?“

„As far as I’m concerned, I’m not on your side. I was supposed to get our caravan to New Canaan, not into this bullshit, so I’d truly prefer getting out of here, you know? Now.“

Daniel nodded, resisting the urge to sigh. He felt like he had enough of her sass for the day and yet, they just began talking. „Listen, I understand that this isn’t what you signed up for. But we didn't ask you to come to Zion. As far as I'm concerned, you're an uninvited guest. In better times, I'd drop everything to help you out, but… these are not those times. And I’d truly prefer if you talked to Joshua about what’s happening here.“

The woman gave him a sharp look. Daniel didn’t know how to properly describe it, but there was hesitation in her eyes, hesitation which very closely reminded Daniel of fear.

Of course.

He could’ve realized it sooner – the courier was hesitating simply because she was afraid of Joshua. Maybe not, of course, but – that look spoke for everything. He’d recognize ít everywhere, specifically because it was residing on faces of all New Canaan inhabitants when he brought Joshua back home, broken, burnt, left to die.

It was only natural, of course. But in this situation, most unwelcome. Daniel gave the woman a long look, thinking about his possibilites.

„You’re injured,“ he suddenly remarked, noticing the wound on her shoulder. It was a simple cut, probably done by White Legs‘ blade, and the woman not being aware of it only proved its triviality; she quickly touched the wound, obviously confused.

„Oh. It’s nothing, really,“ she said.

„Want me to take a look? I’m a doctor. Of sorts.“

„Well…“

„I could fill you in in the meantime. I still think you should at least go to introduce yourself to Joshua, but I can see that you need to understand the situation first.“

The woman finally understood his intention. She gave him a surprised look; honestly, Daniel was surprised himself, but he didn’t want to throw this woman in what she considered a lion’s den. Maybe if he explains her the basics of what’s going on, she won’t be so hesitant about talking to Joshua – and cooperating with Joshua in general.

„Alright, yeah,“ she said. „I think that’d be wise.“

Now it was time for Follows-Chalk to look uneasy. „What should I do then? Should I head back to Joshua and tell him the news?“

„Yes, if you could be so kind,“ Daniel nodded. „Tell him that – um…“

He still didn’t know her name. That was embarrassing.

„A courier,“ the woman chipped in. „Finley.“

„Right, just tell him that Finley will arrive soon and that there’s much for them to discuss, but she’s injured as of now.“

„Can you make it back safe?“ the courier asked.

„I’m going to be okay,“ Follows-Chalk said and smiled. „See you later then, yes? I can not wait!“

The courier nodded, flashing him a smile as well, even though hers was much more hesitant.

With that, Follows-Chalk departed, while the courier and him, with eyes of all the Sorrows on them, entered the Narrows.

#daniel fnv #joshua graham #honest hearts #my writings #i don't know how to tag this shit #oh well here it goes.... i'm gonna hide in a hole #i'm not used to publishing my writings lel

8 notes · View notes

uncle-ak · 4 years

Text

What Do You Say When…?

"I decided to share this with you because I know you wouldn't judge me for it…"

September is suicide prevention awareness month...

It felt so promising, the start of a new decade. The #2020Visionboard events that took place at the beginning of the year allowing us to envision better, thoughts of daring greatly, plans of stepping out of our comfort zone, exploring new territories, and or growing/expanding our horizon... We are in the last quarter of the year; it feels like we have been battling one thing after another since 'the ball dropped,' be it individually from the loss of a loved one to a worldwide pandemic that has completely changed our view of life and living. It’s almost like we were halted in our tracks. Not to talk of politics and racism…

I can’t put to words the rollercoaster of emotions I have been through between January and now. From watching a barely two-year-old girl child being laid to rest in January, then Kobe Bryant, followed by a series of heart-wrenching moments some of which are mentioned in my previous blog post. In addition to deaths from relatives, friends, and or their loved ones, coworkers, those I’ve worked with, and or were working with.

Have you had moments where the words, my sympathy, my condolence, Rest in Peace … etc were too hard for you to say or type? Moments where you felt numb, speechless? Moments when you said ‘not again,’ or you couldn’t explain the emotions/feelings brewing within from hearing about another death or any unexpected news? What do you say when...?

I work in a Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) aka Nursing Home and I have been there for a little over four years. I have known and worked with most if not all of the long term residents. The geriatric population was my first choice out of grad school primarily because it reminded me of growing up with my grandparents. Watching them wanting to maintain some level of independence even as their body and mind slowly went through the aging process is what drew me to work in that setting with the aim to facilitate independence as much as possible.

On the onset of the Covid-19 outbreak, changes were put in place in an attempt to decrease the spread and preserve health and life. It has been heart pausing to overhear comments like “I just need someone to talk to,” when walking down the hallway. Then you contemplate going to have a brief conversation because you aren’t scheduled to work with them and productivity scores are ringing at the back of your mind but you can’t just walk by like you didn’t hear that. Sometimes the conversation has you wondering; what do you say... to make them feel better, but it sometimes ends up being that all they really wanted was someone to stop by and hear them out.

When I changed my major from pre-pharmacy to psychology in undergrad, the goal was not to pursue a career in counseling psychology even though that’s what people thought. I went on to pursue a Masters in Occupational Therapy (background story) and I still get asked if I’ve considered a career path in counseling and the answer is nope! Part of being an Occupational Therapist occasionally requires me to put on a ‘counseling’ hat but not always as in the case of those who solely provide counseling services. I do love the mind/brain; in undergrad, I had fantasized becoming a brain surgeon thanks to Derek Shepherd in Grey’s Anatomy but the thought of cutting open the skull let alone when they are awake which is the case in certain brain surgeries, I decided I’ll do just fine interacting with the mind/brain externally. Preventive health and health management later became an area of interest in 2018, it has been a journey of discovery which still encompasses mental wellness (a passion of mine).

I've had a number of people share personal stories about themselves with me and they usually use this statement or some variation of it… "I decided to share this with you because I know you wouldn't judge me for it…" I’ve been told too many times to count dating back to 2016. More frequently this year than the past years combined from both men and women, some older than me. Sometimes people just want to share something about themselves without being judged, labeled, or put in a box/category. Listening brings me fulfillment because it brings relief to others. Last year I became a certified Mental Health First Aider (CPR in the area of Mental Health) to update my knowledge and skills as well as learn something new in the field of mental wellness. I've learned and continue to learn to listen in a way that makes people willing to share at their comfort level. What people share and the depth of the conversation depends on how ‘safe’ they feel with regards to what they are about to share and the listener’s ability to actively listen; there's a way to tell if someone is actively listening or not. It is a body language thing.

I've come to learn that not everyone knows how to actively listen nor has the ability and or skills, but everyone at the very least can 'hear someone out' depending on the hearer's state of mind/headspace. It is also ok to communicate if your state of mind/headspace doesn't allow you to actively listen to someone or just 'hear them out' rather than act like you are listening but your mind is in a thousand and one different places. I think people would appreciate that honesty upfront rather than 'fake listening'. Hearing someone out doesn't necessarily mean they want advice on how to handle a situation. If they do, they would ask, and even if they don't ask, if we listen actively, we can sense that they may want an opinion. There’s a way to listen for what isn’t being said but is implied. They may not necessarily apply your thoughts/opinions but it will make them feel better that they were heard.

So if someone asks for your opinion and does something otherwise, don't crucify them for it because what they are challenged by may be harder for them to explain in a way that makes sense to you, and maybe they’ve tried your opinion in the past and it didn’t turn out well. Just remember that “everyone is fighting a battle that no one knows about.” Hope that Chadwick Boseman aka T’Challa’s story is an eye-opener for us all. There is always more to what meets the eye and not to judge a book by its cover. Ask open-ended questions to give room for conversation and listen to understand, not to respond.

So, how have you been braving the year thus far despite all that it has been throwing at us? Any self-care strategies (aka coping strategies) that have helped you through to this moment? Anything new that you’ve learned? Sharing is caring, it may help someone out.

For me, I re-read certain books I’ve read before; What I Know For Sure, The Wisdom of Sundays and The Path Made Clear all by Oprah Winfrey. I read new books; No Such Thing as Halfway by Achu ‘Riflex’ Ebong Mba (currently available via his website ), The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, The Bluest Eye by Tony Morrison, Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi. I’ve been writing as well even though my last blog post was in June. I've been writing mostly for and to myself (not journaling), which is different from writing for others like blogging. I've been doing Zoom workout since April three times per week which has been a lifesaver given that I am a healthcare employee. It has been a ‘coro test’ testing my lung capacity and boosting the immune system; aside from the weekly COVID testing torture we have been mandated to do since July, yes the annoying nasal swabs.

Sometimes music therapy helped and long solo walks in my neighborhood. I've done more hiking this year than I have done combined since I started in September 2015 through last year. I remember when I first shared that I was going hiking back in 2015; oh my, the negative comments that came flying all from those who had never been hiking before. Well, here we are now all basking in the beauty of nature. Watching this unfold taught me that people bash what they don't understand or something they haven’t done or they tried and it didn't work out for them. If it's something you really want to do and it speaks to depths of who or want to be, then figure out how you want to handle all that is being thrown at you and brave it out. At the very least, you’ll learn something/a skill that can be applied in another area of life.

The past months haven’t been all glamorous, there have been days where I lay on the couch for hours not feeling like doing anything unless my bladder or bowel nudged me to move. I haven't had a full-time workweek since April; it's been tethering around 15-20 hours a week or less. I'm still grateful that some cha-chin is coming in. Grateful for the knowledge that helped me save weekly since 2016. Having to put a hold on the weekly savings this past July was a hard pill to swallow. Given that I'm an hourly employee, the drop-in hours meant a drop in income. Initially, I thought of dropping the savings amount and frequency to once a month to see how it goes, but it seemed to cause some anxiety.

Amongst all the other challenges, I'm grateful that I haven't had to dip into my savings thus far, grateful for life, health, family, loved ones, and friends. The drop-in hours at work provided room to explore other areas. That thought of exploring other areas didn't initially happen. With the initial onset of the lockdown, there were days of wallowing even though as an ‘essential employee’ I had an excuse to leave the house to go to work for a couple of hours on some days of the week averaging around three days. I'm grateful for knowledge and resources that sparked and nudged me in other directions such as figuring out how to grow my other passions (IG: nannez_fruitdlight and beyonddabookclub; Personal IG: mz_nanne one piece/post at a time to what I envision it to be in the long run, exploring other avenues/options of improving health and wealth. There are still some occasional moments of not feeling like doing anything but it is less frequent than before.

It’s been that type of a roller coaster… then Chadwick Boseman decided to show us how much of a real-life superhero he has been. I had added a pic he took with Lupita Nyong'o on my vision board in 2018 (my vision board was initially done in 2017) because something about their role in Black Panther spoke to me at a deeper level of inspiration. Even though it was ‘just a movie’ it represented and still represents something significant. Some quotes from him that speak to me personally;

Chadwick Boseman

“Sometimes you need to feel the pain and sting of defeat to activate the real passion and purpose that God has predestined inside you… Sometimes you need to get knocked down before you can really figure out what your fight is and how you need to fight it.”

“When I dared to challenge the system that would relegate us to victims and stereotypes with no clear historical backgrounds and no hopes or talents. When I questioned that method of portrayal, a different path opened up for me; the path to my destiny.”

“Because I said no at certain times, it made me available for things that got me to where I am... Know who you are first, purpose unfolds more and more every day. Be open to what essence is.”

“Savor the taste of your triumphs today, don’t just swallow them all whole without digesting what is actually happening here. Look down over what you have conquered and appreciated what God has brought you through.”

Thank you Chadwick Boseman for living and telling your story the way you did. Thank you recurrent and new readers. Now over to you; what have you been up to? How have you been braving the year thus far?

0 notes

womenofcolor15 · 4 years

Text

Lauryn Hill & Rohan Marley Respond To Selah’s Childhood Trauma Video + Selah Clarifies Her Comments, Ask Fans Not To Bash Her Parents

Selah Marley opened up for the first time about childhood trauma she suffered during a two-hour long IG Live session, revealing how her mother, Lauryn Hill, beat her and her siblings like “slaves” and how her father, Rohan Marley, being absent has negatively affected her relationships with men now. Get into the family healing process inside…

Selah Marley – daughter of famed singer Lauryn Hill and entrepreneur Rohan Marley – is on a journey of self-healing as she relives her childhood in an effort to understand her life choices and to become more self-aware.

The 21-year-old often goes on her Instagram Live to share her thoughts and opinions on whatever topic is on her mind. During a recent session, she brought up a topic about generational trauma and began to open up about her own experiences and how she’s still processing childhood trauma.

In a two-hour long Instagram Live video, Selah shared what it was like growing up with her “very angry” Grammy Award winning mom, who she said disciplined her and her siblings with belts and switches. She compared the experience to “slave owner sh*t” and said “all Black parents were on that slave owner sh*t.”

Selah said she’s still traumatized by the sound of a belt hitting.

"You go walk to your doom — it’s like walking to your death. And my mother is an amazing woman, but, um, she obviously didn’t do everything right," she shared during the Live.

View this post on Instagram

happy father’s day, dad :D too bad you can’t see this bc you’re blocked, but i love you still lmao but on a more serious note, let’s definitely take this time to appreciate our fathers & even more so, black men. this world has not always been nice to you and i see that. & so, i love you, Dad, for your resilience, your optimism, your wisdom, and your care. i don’t know what i’d do without you & so, i want to ensure that i never take that for granted. so i include all my fathers in these pictures because it takes a village to raise a child & you’ve all definitely raised me well. so here’s your day! i love you, Dad(s).

A post shared by @ selah on Jun 21, 2020 at 12:02pm PDT

The granddaughter of Bob Marley also got vulnerable when she talked about how her father, Rohan Marley, was largely absent from her life.

Selah said she saw and mother and father fight a lot, so she “didn��t really see much peace.” When her dad left when she was 10, she said she feels like a part of her stopped growing and maturing. She said she struggles in relationships with men because she's angry at them (projecting the feelings she has for her father), but also feels she needs them.

"I came to the conclusion of how much of my life I’ve f*cked up and how much of me is f*cked up simply because my dad just wasn’t around," she said. "And there’s just a void where there should be a person. And it’s honestly really hard."

Selah said her mother was going through her own trauma when she was a kid, dealing with the music industry, trying to save a relationship with a man whom she had five kids with who seemingly no longer wanted her, on top of being a mother.

“She’s Lauryn Hill,” she said. “She’s getting attacked by the media. She was also going through her own sh*t. She had five kids with a man that — they didn’t really get to know each other. So they were always arguing, always fighting.”

She recalled being awake in her room, crying, while her parents fought and argued.

“I don’t think she realizes how much that sh*t affected me,” she said.

Peep a clip from her Live below:

youtube

Selah's venting session caused an uproar of comments and DMs for Selah - many people sharing they too have experienced the same childhood trauma. Taking up for Selah, people started dragging her mother for her mistakes.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ms. Lauryn Hill (@mslaurynhill) on Aug 13, 2020 at 1:57pm PDT

L-Boogie caught wind of the controversy and addressed it in a lengthy post she shared on Facebook and Instagram. The"Lost Ones" singer seemingly blamed systemic racism as the reason why she disciplined her children the way she did. She said an "entire opertation" was trying to take her down and that energy was shared in her home life.

"To me, I am just me. If I am guilty of anything it is disciplining in anger, not in disciplining," Lauryn wrote. "The toxic venom I ingested for standing on principle, and confronting systemic racism far BEFORE it was the thing to say or do (everything you NOW celebrate everyone for!)—the people who called me CRAZY and have yet to apologize and say ‘oh yeah, we were wrong’, OF COURSE that seeped into my home, it was intended to. An entire operation trying to break an artist with a voice and knowledge of herself—way ahead of her time—was in motion. I was affected, my family was affected, my children were affected."

Lauryn said once she realized how she and her family were being destroyed she walked away. She said she did so in order to protect her children.

"When I realized that the pressure on me was so incredibly hypocritical and unfair, criminal even, that even my children weren’t allowed to be children, I stepped away. I wasn’t removed, I STEPPED AWAY. Weening myself and my family from the addictions that systems of control attempt to use through fame and celebrity is no joke. It’s painful and people were not above using my children to keep exploiting me. Keeping a child sober minded in the midst of everyone trying to seduce and bribe and coerce is an incredibly challenging thing to do. Sell a few million copies of a recording and see the wolves and sharks for yourself before you determine what’s appropriate and what’s not. The danger was REAL! And this danger I faced alone, unsupported as I should have been, and dumped on by the same people who only a few years before built a fortune off the same gifts they later tried to deny and then COPY. My life has been about protecting my children from all kinds of danger, and that’s only possible when you protect yourself from the danger as well."

The "Ex-Factor" singer acknowledge Selah's feelings and said she has a right to feel the way she feels. Now, she's focused on healing with her daughter and her family.

"Selah is on a road to healing and contextualizing her childhood, and is allowed her process, but if you come for me, come for your own mama, and those absent fathers—come for them too, your grandparents, your great grand parents, your great great grand parents, your great great great grand parents, Caribbean parents, African parents and everyone else damaged and judged for being black and forced to conform and assimilate to western standards of ‘order’ shaped through the filter and lens of anti-blackness."

"Selah and I speak often and she knows we are both working through our stuff—the exploitation, the abandonment, the mistreatment and the muzzling of our own gifts and intelligence to make it more comfortable for others, which is a big mistake to do, it can ONLY lead to implosion or explosion. We’re both learning and healing, and each of my children has a similar story and journey. All of you in a rush to crucify someone, careful who you string up or nail up."

While it may have been harsh, Lauryn justified the way she disciplined her children as a way to them from being shot down in the streets.

"My children are strong-willed and powerful, better I discipline them at home than have them shot down in the streets or locked up. They are not necessarily passive people, and they’re also learning how to navigate a world full of beauty but also full of danger. This was in no way easy to do as a single parent battling a public attack for not conforming, and single-handedly financially responsible for so many. My children’s families on both Hill and Marley sides have been hunted and persecuted for speaking out against and challenging the social, political, economic and spiritual dynamics that require a terroristic fear be put in Black people in order to control them."

Read her full response below:

Uhhhh black people, what??? Selah has every right to express herself, I encourage it, but she also got the discipline...

Posted by Ms. Lauryn Hill on Thursday, August 13, 2020

Thoughts on Lauryn's response?

View this post on Instagram

My Beautiful Family .. #LIONORDER nice one @edenmarley ‘ Love Unconditional ‘

A post shared by Rohan Marley (@romarley) on Aug 11, 2020 at 7:45am PDT

After Selah's IG Live went viral, Rohan shared a throwback family photo of himself with his children with the caption, "My Beautiful Family." He also responded to what she said about him in the video.

"Selah's expression on Instagram is a healing process for her. I'm very happy that she is fearless in her expression," Rohan said in a statement through his publicist. "I love her very much and do apologize for any contributions I may have added by arguing in front of her as a child. I've grown as a man, a spiritual being and a father. I am constantly growing and will teach my children to always take the higher road in any disagreements. I will be there for her no matter how many hours, days, months or years it will take. I will be the best Dad that I can be. One Love."

Let's hope he keeps his word.

Following the buzzy headlines and extra social media traffic, Selah hopped back online to clarify her comments.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @selah on Aug 11, 2020 at 2:44pm PDT

"I spoke on that subject for two hours.... It's complex," she said in the "clarity" video. "It's a very complex topic, and really what I was discussing was how a lack of unity in the household can create severe trauma that you're not even aware of," Marley addressed in the IG Story video that was preceded by a written note. "And now, I had to go back and see where these different things impacted my life and how they impacted my life. At the end of the day, I never said my father was a f*cking deadbeat completely. I just said that he wasn't as present as I needed him to be.... Don't go bashing my f*cking father and my family."

"I never said that I did not love them. I said their shortcomings created trauma that I now need to consciously and actively heal from.”

She said she hopes by starting this larger conversation, it will inspire others' transparency, vulnerability and openness in discussing their own family traumas.

Peep her Live and her IG Story posts (where she also addressed the trolls) above and below:

Selah continued the conversation in another IG Live video, thanking everyone for their support on her journey:

View this post on Instagram

so many of you guys reached out to me in DM that you’ve had similar experiences.. it’d take 5 weeks to respond to everyone, so i wanted to get on live to share my thoughts with you about my healing process. hopefully, some of you may find this useful. if not, that’s fine too! we all have unique experiences, personalities, and needs; so what works for me may not work for everyone. & that’s fine! but i did want to share what i could & open the floor for a more general discussion on how to heal core wounds. at the end of the day, i’m not an expert—just a young adult figuring it out for herself that figured i could share a couple things. i really wish @instagram allowed you to see the comments when it posts these lives because you guys say some of the most profound things i’ve ever seen. i’m eternally grateful for your contribution to these conversations because you guys add a layer of depth, understanding, and resonance that’s genuinely needed & appreciated. i want to specifically say thank you to everyone who rocks with me & contributes to the true healing, growth, and love created in these conversations. oh & btw, if you don’t agree with me, please feel free to excuse yourself & keep it pushing—especially when/if you come to my “live.” i’m still having trouble understanding why some people stick around for the sole purpose of perpetuating negativity. P.S. that apple sauce was great

A post shared by @ selah on Aug 13, 2020 at 10:11pm PDT

Looks like she's headed down the right path to healing with supportive parents behind her. We Selah and her family the best.

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/08/14/lauryn-hill-rohan-marley-respond-to-selah%E2%80%99s-childhood-trauma-video-selah-clarifies-her-co

0 notes

denisonforum · 6 years

Text

John Adams thought today would be Independence Day

John Adams attended the Second Continental Congress, which began meeting in Philadelphia on July 1, 1776. The next day, the delegates voted in favor of America’s independence.

On July 3, Adams wrote to his beloved wife, Abigail: “The Second Day of July 1776, will be the most memorable Epocha, in the History of America.”

He added: “I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.”

He was off by two days.

John Adams was a Harvard-educated lawyer who led our nation’s negotiations for peace with Great Britain. From 1785 to 1788, he was minister to the Court of St. James’s in London. He returned to become our nation’s first vice president and later was elected our second president.

He was one of the most brilliant and accomplished men in American history. How could he have gotten the birthday of our nation wrong?

On July 4, the delegates in Philadelphia adopted Thomas Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence. History would celebrate their decision as the birthday of the new nation, even though they only formalized what they actually decided two days earlier.

(By the way, the delegates did not actually sign the Declaration for another month, but that’s another story.)

We cannot see the future in the present

The significance of the moment can seldom be seen in the moment.

When Noah began building his ark, no one outside his family believed it would be used to save humanity. When Moses demanded that the most powerful man on earth let his slaves go free, few thought it would happen.

Joseph in his dungeon, Joshua marching around Jericho, David facing Goliath, Daniel in the lions’ den, Saul on the road to Damascus, John exiled on Patmos, Jesus born in Bethlehem and crucified at Calvary–the list goes on. It’s hard to think of a significant biblical event whose significance was obvious to the world at the time.

As we scan today’s headlines, we wonder how the future will judge the present.

In what the New York Times called “one of Mexico’s most important elections in decades,” Andrés Manuel López Obrador was elected yesterday on a pledge to attack corruption and increase social programs for the poor. Of course, no one knows how his election will actually affect Mexico, the US, and the world.

Closer to home, President Trump told a reporter that his next nominee for the Supreme Court could see the Roe v. Wade ruling on abortion rights decided on a state-by-state basis. Millions of lives will be affected by the outcome of his prediction.

And LeBron James is joining the Los Angeles Lakers in a move that “sends shockwaves through NBA world.” Whether he will be able to lead the storied franchise to another title is another question.

No one gets a five-year plan

No one in the Bible received a five-year plan. The Apostle Paul, one of the most brilliant people in history, discovered this fact personally.

He gave up on Mark, the young man who abandoned their missionary team but later wrote the gospel bearing his name (Acts 15:37-39). To his credit, Paul later described Mark as “very useful to me for ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11).

During his second missionary journey, the apostle thought he should go east when he was called west (Acts 16:6¬-10). His Macedonian call surprised him but changed the world.

Paul’s example proves this point: the best way to prepare for the future is to trust God with the present.

Does something about tomorrow worry you today? Are you facing a decision or dilemma? Begin by surrendering every dimension of this day to your Father (Romans 12:1-2a). He can give his best only to those who leave the choice with him (Romans 12:2b).

Clay in the hands of our potter

Every nation is but clay in the hands of its potter (Jeremiah 18:6).

However, a people can say pridefully to God, “We will follow our own plans, and will every one act according to the stubbornness of his evil heart” (v. 12). The Lord must then respond with holy justice: “I will show them my back, not my face, in the day of their calamity” (v. 17).

As patriotic Americans, we want our nation to see God’s “face” and not his “back.” We want our Lord’s best for our future. So, let’s pray passionately and work courageously to lead our people to trust him in the present.

John Adams did not understand the future significance of this day in 1776. But he knew how to face an uncertain future with certain faith: “I must submit all my Hopes and Fears, to an overruling Providence, in which, unfashionable as the Faith may be, I firmly believe.”

Let’s join him.

NOTE: I will be on Facebook Live this Thursday, July 5, at 12 Noon CST to announce an exciting new way to discern the news differently. I hope to see you there.

The post John Adams thought today would be Independence Day appeared first on Denison Forum.

source https://www.denisonforum.org/columns/daily-article/john-adams-thought-today-independence-day-2/

0 notes

ethanstruthblog-blog · 6 years

Text

Does God Exist

Does God Exist?

By Ethan Rulloda

Christianity, the biggest religion in the world, with over 2.1 billion believers. Especially, in the Philippines, where 86% of the population are Roman Catholics, 6% Various Nationalized Christian Cults, and 2% are associated with over 100 Protestant denominations. But, did Christ really exist?

Here in this article, will show significant amounts of pieces of evidence proving the existence of Jesus Christ.

My entire life, I've been a Christian without knowing if he actually existed. I usually just listen to whoever lectures me about Christ. But, I obviously had faith, and will always have, even though, I had no evidence. And even other Christians can relate. There are even some who question and doubt the existence of Christ(skeptics).

So I searched up different videos on YouTube, including such as, Matthew Santoro a Canadian Youtuber who posts Top 10 Lists and 50 amazing facts and The Case for Christ hosted by Lee Strobel is a Documentary and a book about trying to find valid evidence about the existence of Jesus, both gave viable evidence which will help strengthen the argument.

But first who is Jesus? Based on (https://carm.org/what-is-christianity), Christianity is a monotheistic religion which is based on the teachings of Jesus Christ. Christ, meaning the anointed one, is indicating that Jesus was anointed or chosen by God from Father who in the old testament created the world, fulfilled the laws and prophecies, died on the cross for our sins, and rose from the dead three days later. After reading this paragraph, you might be really intrigued, or in disbelief. You can assume that these aren’t true, I mean reading this seems pretty impossible, but I’m going to show you six arguments about Jesus’ existence,

First, Anselm's ontological argument. In 1070, Ansel states that our ability to imagine a concept of a perfect human being means that it must exist. He argued that his idea must stem from something that exists in our universe, otherwise, we wouldn't be able to think it up.

French philosopher Rene Descartes, supported it 571 years later saying that if his concept of perfection needs existence, then God must exist. We all know who God is and that he's perfect, so, therefore, he exists in our understanding. We also understand things we see everywhere, but there are hidden things that we do not yet understand. But why do we understand who God is even though we couldn't see him? And some may argue is because he exists.

Second, the Bible is based on many eye-witness accounts, including, the resurrection of Jesus Christ. But, how can we prove it's real? We can say that Jesus was crucified on the cross and that he was buried in a tomb, which was owned by one of the executors. But first, he appeared in front of over 500 people, and second, his disciples died for the truth. After Jesus rose from the dead, his disciples sacrificed their own lives just to prove that Jesus really has risen from the dead. No one would risk their lives just to validate a fake religion. One of them, named James, the brother of John who was later exiled to the island of Patmos was killed by the sword upon the order of King Herod.

Third, there are many miracles written in the Bible, one of the stories, when Jesus healed a Blind Man, or when he turned water to wine. It's not possible, but it was witnessed by many people. And, no ordinary person or thing in this world could do that. And even today there have been reports about miracles. Like for example, a child named Colton, a young boy who had to undergo an emergency surgery and says that he went from Heaven and back. He can even recall meeting his father’s(Todd Burpo) grandfather and remembering how he looked like back when he was young, as when you are in heaven everyone is young.

Fourth, there are laws in science, including laws of physics. But, if those laws never existed or debunked, then, it would be the end of the world. But it isn't, some say that there is a person who holds things together which prevents his creation from fading away. For example, if there was no gravity, then the earth wouldn't be here anymore. Without gravity, we would be weightless and everyone and everything floating everywhere. Also, there would be a change in air pressure because of the disappearance of the earth’s atmosphere. In other words, the earth will be losing its oxygen, and we will die eventually.

Fifth, people believe that faith is one of the things that make us believe in Jesus. It's hard to actually believe in something we can't see, but if we have faith, we can believe in the most unlikely thing in the world. There is one study(https://adrenalfatiguesolution.com/faith-and-stress/) which says that faith can reduce stress and improve physical and mental health. And so, even though God is an intangible creature, the faith God has given us affects the world in different ways.

Sixth, the concept of moral values. During the primitive times, people never really understood what is good or bad. As they had the freedom to do anything, like killing and stealing. But when God was introduced to us, we already thought of the idea of morality and what is supposedly right or wrong so we can assume that our morals must have been given by someone who acted good upon us and helped us understand humanity.

More reasons by Matthew Santoro-10 most popular arguments for the existence of God.

But let's look at the other spectrum just so we could compare these arguments and choose which of these are more believable. What if Jesus is fake?

People who believe in this or the non-theist have two variations. The Agnostics, who claims neither faith nor disbelief. And the atheists, who don't believe in a God or God's.

One man named C.S Lewis was a professor at Cambridge University who before was an agnostic, he claims that Jesus is just a good moral man but not God. So he wrote different arguments on this website (https://www.cru.org/us/en/how-to-know-god/who-is-Jesus-God-or-just-a-good-man.html) why Jesus is just a good man.

First, he said that Jesus might be a demon (even though he presumes that he is a GOOD man), believing that when Jesus said to trust him in our eternal destiny. And if he couldn’t back up his claim, then he is both evil and a hypocrite. The ninth commandment in the ten commandments reads “ Thou shall not bear false witness”, or in other words, no lying. If God lied about his promises, then he sinned and is a hypocrite, considering he was described as perfect or lived perfectly. So if he lied about all of his promises, then he isn't the son of God.

Second, Jesus claiming to be God or anyone claiming to be god is certainly a lunatic. Noyes and Kolb described the schizophrenic as a person who is more Autistic than realistic. People with Schizophrenia desires to escape from reality. And claiming to be God, might be an escape from reality.

And to conclude, he asked these three questions to jews, and hopefully, you could answer all of them. The first question, Is Jesus a liar? The second question, Is Jesus a lunatic? Third, do you believe that Jesus is God? These people believe he is both not a liar and not a lunatic. But believes he isn’t God. But the writer asked one more question, as the three are possible, what is more probable?

For the first argument, God never really lied to anyone yet, which doesn’t conclude that he is a demon; because fulfilled all his promises. I even remembered my pastor telling me that God only responds to us in either one of these three responses. The first response, is yes, second, not yet, and third, “I’ll give you something better in return.”

For the second argument, not all people who claim to be God are not lunatics. We can say those other people who don’t have any evidence of him/her being God/Goddess, but Jesus has proof. He sacrificed his own life for our sins, rose from the dead three days after, and appeared to almost 500 people in his time. And him doing that already proves he is God.

But, even though non-Christians try to test me or debunk my belief. It won't affect me. God shaped me into who I am and who I will be. I have a great amount of respect and faith in him. And I'm thankful for it. I'm not here to judge your beliefs, but here to hopefully believe in mine.

Based on this article, the evidence of Jesus Christ’s existence is stronger or more powerful than the arguments about Jesus never existing. But there are still many atheists in the world right now believing in what is wrong. And us Christians should make a move about it. We were given an opportunity to share the word like what Jesus’s followers did in the Bible, and in the future maybe our world would turn out like what God wanted it to be.

0 notes

aboveallarescuer · 4 years

Text

How Dany assesses the counsel she receives and makes her own choices - Dealing with the conflicts inside Meereen

This will be a series of posts meant to show that Dany is open to receiving advice and criticism, but that she doesn’t act solely based on what other people tell her to do. On the opposite, GRRM makes great effort to write a Dany who most often merges different viewpoints and/or finds her own solutions to the problems she’s facing. I won’t include every single decision she ever made (e.g. her decisions at court are often made without counsel and her execution of the ritual to hatch the dragon eggs was already exhaustively and deftly analyzed by other people), but there will be plenty of instances in this series that will prove my point nonetheless. The metas will always have four items: in which chapters the events mentioned take place; what advice she receives and from whom; what were her actions; the verdict (whether she followed other people’s advice, ignored/rejected them or did both at the same time).

Chapter (s):

ADWD Daenerys I, II, IV, V, VI, IX

The advice Dany receives:

Barristan warns Dany that the Unsullied aren't well-suited to ask people about what happened to Stalwart Shield nor inquire about the Sons's activities (ADWD Dany I). In the reopening of Daznak's Pit, Barristan recommends that Dany uses the Unsullied to protect her rather than the Brazen Beasts due to his distrust in them, his uncertainty about their skills and his fear that the Sons are still around (ADWD Dany IX).

The Shavepate recommends the killing of a man from each family for Stalwart Shield's death and the killing of two if another death occurs (ADWD Dany I). He also suggests torturing the daughters of the wineseller while he watches (ADWD Dany II). Later, he urges Dany to kill the child hostages to prevent the murders from continuing (ADWD Dany IV). At last, he proposes torturing Hizdahr (because he believes he's involved with the Harpy's Sons) and seizing people from the ruling families so that Dany can get her ships back (ADWD Dany V).

Reznak is against any sort of punishment to the nobles for the Sons's murders (ADWD Dany I, II).

Daario is in favor of Dany gathering all the masters in the Temple of the Graces under the false pretense of marrying Hizdahr and killing them all (ADWD Dany IV).

Dany's actions:

We open up ADWD with Dany in her lion pelt sitting on her ebon bench. She is still asleep and couldn't even properly dress because the matter was too urgent for her to spare any time: one of her soldiers was killed.

“Your Grace,” said Ser Barristan Selmy, the lord commander of her Queensguard, “there is no need for you to see this.”

“He died for me.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Like I said before, Dany's conception of queenship is one of self-sacrifice and accountability. Another ruler might have taken care of the matter at another time or even left it entirely to one of their advisors, but Dany wants to show gratitude (like she did with Doreah) and to take responsibility and not look away (like she did with the 163 children who were crucified).

The corpse is shown and Dany, because of the knowledge she acquired from her childhood in the Free Cities (she lived in six of the nine), is able to guess the man's origins:

The dead man’s face was smooth and hairless, though his cheeks had been slashed open ear to ear. He had been a tall man, blue-eyed and fair of face. Some child of Lys or Old Volantis, snatched off a ship by corsairs and sold into bondage in red Astapor. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Barristan begins to explain that the Sons were behind the attack, which they took responsibility by drawing a harpy on the bricks. Dany already knows how they operate, so she accurately intuits which material was used to draw it:

“… drawn in blood.” Daenerys knew the way of it by now. The Sons of the Harpy did their butchery by night, and over each kill they left their mark. (ADWD Daenerys I)

She then asks Grey Worm why the soldier was alone, since she had taken measures to prevent any of them from being killed:

“Grey Worm, why was this man alone? Had he no partner?” By her command, when the Unsullied walked the streets of Meereen by night they always walked in pairs. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Grey Worm, seemingly embarassed, admits that he went to "a house of pleasure", which Dany correctly guesses to be a brothel. Dany is empathetic and quite aware of the freedmen's difficult situation, so she makes no moral judgment about the fact that so many were opened lately:

A brothel. Half of her freedmen were from Yunkai, where the Wise Masters had been famed for training bedslaves. The way of the seven sighs. Brothels had sprouted up like mushrooms all over Meereen. It is all they know. They need to survive. Food was more costly every day, whilst the price of flesh grew cheaper. In the poorer districts between the stepped pyramids of Meereen’s slaver nobility, there were brothels catering to every conceivable erotic taste, she knew. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Even so, she doesn't understand why would an eunuch go to a brothel. Grey Worm responds that Stalwart Shield wanted "the women of the brothels to lie with him and hold him", an answer that profoundly affects Dany:

The blood of the dragon does not weep. “Stalwart Shield,” she said, dry-eyed. “That was his name?”

“If it please Your Grace.”

“It is a fine name.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

As I said before, Dany often uses the phrase "the blood of the dragon" to retain her composure and act as a proper monarch, and this moment is no exception: she reminds herself to not cry, makes sure she remains "dry-eyed" and praises his name. Because she's now emotionally affected by what happened, she can't help but wish for vengeance (which is normal, for it is linked with the desire for justice in her case) for his death:

Dany said a silent prayer that somewhere one of the Harpy’s Sons was dying even now, clutching at his belly and writhing in pain. (ADWD Daenerys I)

“Find these cowards for me. Find them, so that I might teach the Harpy’s Sons what it means to wake the dragon.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Dany notes that he was the first of her soldiers that the Sons dared to kill. Barristan warns her that others will die, which is a cause of great distress for a queen who "belongs to her people, not to herself" and who recently made it clear that she wants to bring "peace, prosperity and justice" to the city:

I am still at war, Dany realized, only now I am fighting shadows. She had hoped for a respite from the killing, for some time to build and heal. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Then, she vows that Stalwart Shield will be remembered:

Shrugging off the lion pelt, she knelt beside the corpse and closed the dead man’s eyes, ignoring Jhiqui’s gasp. “Stalwart Shield shall not be forgotten. Have him washed and dressed for battle and bury him with cap and shield and spears.”

“It shall be as Your Grace commands,” said Grey Worm.

“Send men to the Temple of the Graces and ask if any man has come to the Blue Graces with a sword wound. And spread the word that we will pay good gold for the short sword of Stalwart Shield. Inquire of the butchers and the herdsmen, and learn who has been gelding goats of late.” Perhaps some goatherd would confess. “Henceforth, no man of mine walks alone after dark.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Here, we see that Dany: a) orders for Stalwart Shield to be properly buried and honored, b) offers more gold to anyone who might give information about who was behind his murder and c) forbids all of her soldiers to walk at night so that they might not become casualties as well. Later, d) she names a company of freedmen after him and e) thinks about him when she considers giving away her personal happiness and sexual autonomy because "she owed it to her dead". She is, indeed, making sure that he's not forgotten.

Barristan counsels Dany not to use the Unsullied for the jobs she gave them because "they were made for the battlefield" rather than to "unravel secrets or ask questions". Dany considers both his feedback and her available options and concludes that the Unsullied are still the best choice for now, which displays her critical thinking skills:

“Would knights serve me any better?” Selmy was training knights for her, teaching the sons of slaves to fight with lance and longsword in the Westerosi fashion … but what good would lances do against cowards who killed from the shadows? (ADWD Daenerys I)

“Then who, if not Unsullied? Dothraki would be even worse.” Dothraki fought from horseback. Mounted men were of more use in open fields and hills than in the narrow streets and alleys of the city. (ADWD Daenerys I)

“When the Stormcrows return from Lhazar, perhaps I can use them in the streets,” she told Ser Barristan, “but until then I have only the Unsullied.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Later, she meets with two of her advisors, Reznak (who is pro-nobility) and the Shavepate (who is anti-slavery). In keeping with her previous actions to remember Stalwart Shield, Dany demands that they call him by his name.

“We were told about the eunuch.”

“His name was Stalwart Shield.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Then, we get this bit of exposition from the Shavepate, who reminds Dany of her large number of enemies:

“...Zhak, Hazkar, Ghazeen, Merreq, Loraq, all the old slaving families. Pahl. Pahl, most of all. A house of women now. Bitter old women with a taste for blood. Women do not forget. Women do not forgive.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Which leads Dany, who is already angry for what happened to Stalwart Shield, to think about when she returns to Westeros and teaches the Usurper's dogs that she does not forgive. I've talked about this before here and here, but, while Dany is not right in reducing them to a single group, she is right that Robert should be held accountable for the deaths of innocent children, about which he did nothing to bring justice.

There is more to what the Shavepate said, though: his overfocus on women, more particularly on "bitter old women", is another indication from the narrative (albeit not entirely conclusive) that Galazza Galare working against Dany. In fact, she might be the Harpy herself coordinating the Sons's attacks, if this passage from ASOS is any indication:

She had a woman’s face, with gilded hair, ivory eyes, and pointed ivory teeth. Water gushed yellow from her heavy breasts. But in place of arms she had the wings of a bat or a dragon, her legs were the legs of an eagle, and behind she wore a scorpion’s curled and venomous tail.

The harpy of Ghis, Dany thought. (ASOS Daenerys II)

Behind them, huge against the sky, could be seen the top of the Great Pyramid, a monstrous thing eight hundred feet tall with a towering bronze harpy at its top.

“The harpy is a craven thing,” Daario Naharis said when he saw it. “She has a woman’s heart and a chicken’s legs. Small wonder her sons hide behind their walls.” (ASOS Daenerys V)

Back to the advisors. They have different suggestions for Dany concerning what to do to prevent more deaths like Stalwart Shield's. The Shavepate favors killing a man from each noble family for Stalwart Shield's death now. If another death occurs, she should kill two from each noble family. Meanwhile, Reznak asks for restraint by saying that the murderers will be found and proven to be "baseborn filth". Dany ends up following Reznak's advice, not because she views the freedmen negatively, of course, but because of this:

“How can I punish them when I do not know who they are?” Dany demanded of him.

Dany doesn't want to punish people indiscriminately, and she will reverberate the same feelings later with three different people here, here and here. These moments show how using violent methods isn't Dany's comfort zone nor the first option that comes up in her mind (the torture of the wineseller and his daughters was certainly not her idea, for instance, even if she remains responsible for it). Instead, she wants to specifically target Stalwart Shield's killer, and she's not afraid of using her gold to do so, even if it brings no profit to her:

“How much gold have we offered for information concerning the Sons of the Harpy?” Dany asked.

“One hundred honors, if it please Your Radiance.”

“One thousand honors would please us more. Make it so.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

While we're at it, it's interesting to consider Dany's feelings on these men. This is how she describes the Shavepate:

Ghiscari hair was dense and wiry; it had long been the fashion for the men of the Slaver Cities to tease it into horns and spikes and wings. By shaving, Skahaz had put old Meereen behind him to accept the new, and his kin had done the same after his example. Others followed, though whether from fear, fashion, or ambition, Dany could not say; shavepates, they were called. Skahaz was the Shavepate … and the vilest of traitors to the Sons of the Harpy and their ilk. (ADWD Daenerys I)

First, Dany's shrewdness comes through in her guesses regarding why Skahaz's kin would shave like him - "fear, fashion or ambition". This is a great variety of reasons from her. And it's noteworthy that, for all the claims that she is too idealistic and naive (and she still is, to an extent, of course), she never considers that people might be following his example because of their devotion to his cause. Here, like in other moments, Dany proves that she has a healthy dose of skepticism about other people's intentions. When it comes to the Shavepate, she thinks he has a "brutal, angry face" and "prays it was an honest one as well".

That being said, I would say that her assessment of him is ambivalent, even more so when you compare it to how she judges Reznak:

The seneschal wore a tokar of maroon silk with a golden fringe. A small, damp man, he smelled as if he had bathed in perfume and spoke a bastard form of High Valyrian, much corrupted and flavored with a thick Ghiscari growl.

The seneschal was as bald as Skahaz, though in his case the gods were responsible. “Should any hair be so insolent as to appear, my barber stands with razor ready,” he had assured her when she raised him up. There were times when Dany wondered if that razor might not be better saved for Reznak’s throat. He was a useful man, but she liked him little and trusted him less. The Undying of Qarth had told her she would be thrice betrayed.

I know Dany is made to be suspicious of Reznak because she suspects (reasonably) that he is the "perfumed seneschal", but one could speculate that there is more to it. Reznak is wearing a tokar, described earlier by Dany as as "a master's garment, a sign of wealth and power". It is a major symbol of the social inequality that favors the masters over the freedmen, which Dany is quite conscious and critical of. Because she is an abolitionist figure who wants equality for everyone, it's only natural that she feels uncomfortable using it (and ends up rejecting it, as she does the peace). When it comes to Reznak, I wonder if seeing him willingly use it might make Dany unconsciously predisposed to view him in a harsher light. Accordingly, she also thinks that his High Valyrian is a "bastard form" for being "corrupted" with his "Ghiscari growl".

It must be said, however, that, in trying to associate Dany's discomfort with the Meereenese culture with her hatred of slavery and giving little page time and development to the freedmen (who could've been three-dimensional and diverse like the Free Folk), the one group she is advocating for, GRRM can make Dany look "intolerant" to readers who aren't that interested in her, and this particular instance with Reznak could be interpreted as such. Then there's also the fact that Dany views Reznak negatively partly because he has conventionally feminine traits, something that she has in common with Ned (and his views on Varys) and that I discuss here.

Anyway, to sum up my thoughts on the Shavepate and Reznak, I wanted to show how she views the latter more negatively than the former, even though she follows the latter's advice. That's because Dany doesn't rely on a single viewpoint, but only on her own.

In ADWD Daenerys II, Dany is informed that nine freedmen were killed in one night, which frightens her. Because she cares about giving the freedmen justice, her (righteous) outrage at seeing them suffer is that much deeper. After finding out that the murderers weren't conclusively identified, but that suspects were found, Dany initially asks for them to be interrogated, though she is skeptical of their innocence:

They all plead ignorance and beg for mercy. “Give them to the Shavepate. Skahaz, keep each apart from the others and put them to the question.”

“It will be done, Your Worship. Would you have me question them sweetly, or sharply?”

“Sweetly, to begin. Hear what tales they tell and what names they give you. It may be they had no part in this.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

But then, she finds out that Rylona Rhee was tortured and killed, which brings us to this controversial moment:

Mercy, thought Dany. They will have the dragon’s mercy. “Skahaz, I have changed my mind. Question the man sharply.”

“I could. Or I could question the daughters sharply whilst the father looks on. That will wring some names from him.”

“Do as you think best, but bring me names.” Her fury was a fire in her belly. (ADWD Daenerys II)

I've already written my thoughts on this scene, so I'll just say this: however morally questionable Dany's actions were here (and they were morally questionable), they can't be decontextualized (the Shavepate had seeded the idea, as I said before), they can't be divorced from the reality of this world and they can't be reduced to vengeance when that's linked to justice and when monarchies tend to be (and even encourage the ruler to be) inherently arbitrary.

Then, Dany makes plenty of decisions on her own to guarantee the safety of her Unsullied:

“I will have no more Unsullied slaughtered. Grey Worm, pull your men back to their barracks. Henceforth let them guard my walls and gates and person. From this day, it shall be for Meereenese to keep the peace in Meereen. Skahaz, make me a new watch, made up in equal parts of shavepates and freedmen.”

“As you command. How many men?”

“As many as you require.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

Which then leads Reznak to question how she'll pay them. She decides that the nobles will suffer consequences this time:

“From the pyramids. Call it a blood tax. I will have a hundred pieces of gold from every pyramid for each freedman that the Harpy’s Sons have slain.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

She also makes it clear that she won't let any of the nobles flee from Meereen with resources this time:

Daenerys was sick unto death of Zhak and Merreq; she was sick of all the Meereenese, great and small alike. “Let them go, but see that they take no more than the clothes upon their backs. Make certain that all their gold remains here with us. Their stores of food as well.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

Because Dany left the Yunkish's financial resources intact, they ended up "return[ing] to slaving as soon as she moved on" and "rais[ed] levies, hir[ed] sellswords, and [made] alliances against her". Now it seems that Dany is learning her lesson and not letting the enemy retain power if she is able to neutralize it. One could argue that this is just to pay the soldiers' wages rather than a decision made based on her previous mistake, but again, it is still a sign that she is learning from what happened before, which is commendable.

Reznak tries to persuade Dany to be more lenient by pointing out the nobles' concern for their children. His comment has the opposite effect on Dany. She thinks she is also afraid for her own and then makes another decision on her own:

“We must keep them safe as well. I will have two children from each of them. From the other pyramids as well. A boy and a girl.”

“Hostages,” said Skahaz, happily.

“Pages and cupbearers. If the Great Masters make objection, explain to them that in Westeros it is a great honor for a child to be chosen to serve at court.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

Dany's handling of the situation here is, once again, very interesting. Like in Stalwart Shield's case, you could say that she only followed the counsel of a single advisor - she chose Reznak's side before and now she chose Skahaz's. However, analyzing these situations that way would greatly oversimplify Dany's decisionmaking. As we see in this case, she makes all the major decisions on her own: she asks for the wineseller and his daughters to be questioned; she asks for the Shavepate to create a new watch; she creates a blood tax to compensate for the deaths of the freedmen and pay the soldiers she'll employ; she makes the decision to take hostages in case the murders continue.

In the next chapter, we get more information on the Shavepate's new watch, the Brazen Beasts. Dany says that the Sons fear them, which may or may not be true since she's putting up a front to be resist Xaro's thinly disguised attempts to undermine her power, confidence, achievements and skills. Even so, it seems to have been a successful decision:

“...They fear my Brazen Beasts.” Skahaz mo Kandaq had given her the new watch she had asked for, made up in equal numbers of freedmen and shavepate Meereenese. They walked the streets both day and night, in dark hoods and brazen masks. The Sons of the Harpy had promised grisly death to any traitor who dared serve the dragon queen, and to their kith and kin as well, so the Shavepate’s men went about as jackals, owls, and other beasts, keeping their true faces hidden. (ADWD Daenerys III)

I'll talk about this more on another post, but, in the context of the military forces that Dany created, it's convenient to mention that she also organized the freedmen to better defend the city without anyone's advice:

“My freedman—” Dany started.

“Bedslaves, barbers, and brickmakers win no battles.”

He was wrong in that, she hoped. The freedmen had been a rabble once, but she had organized the men of fighting age into companies and commanded Grey Worm to make them into soldiers. (ADWD Daenerys III)

Even then, however, the killings still continue in ADWD Daenerys IV, which affects Dany a lot:

“...More freedmen died last night, or so I have been told.”

“Three.” Saying it left a bitter taste in her mouth. “The cowards broke in on some weavers, freedwomen who had done no harm to anyone. All they did was make beautiful things. I have a tapestry they gave me hanging over my bed. The Sons of the Harpy broke their loom and raped them before slitting their throats.” (ADWD Daenerys IV)

(This passage may also be hinting at something else...)

However, she doesn't have it in her to murder innocent people, much less innocent children.

Hazzea was enough. What good is peace if it must be purchased with the blood of little children? “These murders are not their doing,” Dany told the Green Grace, feebly. “I am no butcher queen.” (ADWD Daenerys IV)

Besides Dany's moral principles, her outlook should also be contextualized by her life experiences - as a child whom her enemies tried to kill and as a mother whose child was also targeted, Dany's reluctance is very understandable. However, by taking hostages and not harming them when the Sons still continued to act, Dany implicitly stated that she won't react as ruthlessly as one might expect from the Mother of Dragons, which, unfortunately, puts all of the freedmen in jeopardy.

I've talked about this before, and I'll be brief here because I intend to make another post about Dany's attempts to merge with the Meereenese, but, for the sake of context: I believe that the Green Grace is manipulating Dany in ADWD Daenerys IV. She tactfully mentions the Shavepate as someone who would be okay with killing children while then contrasting him to Hizdahr, the "perfect" husband for Dany to take if she wants to give the city peace (unjust as it is). As for Hizdahr, this exchange is relevant here, for it shows both Dany inquiring him about the Sons and, I would argue, his manipulation:

“Why should the Sons of the Harpy lay down their knives for you? Are you one of them?”

“No.”

“Would you tell me if you were?”

He laughed. “No.”

“The Shavepate has ways of finding the truth.”

“I do not doubt that Skahaz would soon have me confessing. A day with him, and I will be one of the Harpy’s Sons. Two days, and I will be the Harpy. Three, and it will turn out I slew your father too, back in the Sunset Kingdoms when I was yet a boy. Then he will impale me on a stake and you can watch me die … but afterward the killings will go on.” Hizdahr leaned closer. “Or you can marry me and let me try to stop them.”

“Why would you want to help me? For the crown?”

“A crown would suit me well, I will not deny that. It is more than that, however. Is it so strange that I would want to protect my own people, as you protect your freedmen? Meereen cannot endure another war, Your Radiance.”

That was a good answer, and an honest one. (ADWD Daenerys IV)

I don't think Dany was wrong when she described Hizdahr as "cunning" two chapters ago. Not only there is a lot of textual evidence that suggests that he is working with the Sons (here and here), but the arguments he makes here seem fabricated and designed specifically with the intent to appeal to Dany's desire to protect her people ("Meereen cannot endure another war") and avoid more collateral damage ("let me try to stop them"), all the while painting the Shavepate very negatively ("Skahaz would soon have me confessing").

With no good options here, Dany promises to marry Hizdahr on one condition:

“Peace is my desire. You say that you can help me end the nightly slaughter in my streets. I say do it. Put an end to this shadow war, my lord. That is your quest. Give me ninety days and ninety nights without a murder, and I will know that you are worthy of a throne.[”] (ADWD Daenerys IV)

After her decision, this is how Dany thinks that her two counsellors will react:

The Shavepate will not be happy with me, but Reznak mo Reznak will dance for joy. Dany did not know which of those concerned her more. She needed Skahaz and the Brazen Beasts, and she had come to mistrust all of Reznak’s counsel. Beware the perfumed seneschal. Has Reznak made common cause with Hizdahr and the Green Grace and set some trap to snare me? (ADWD Daenerys IV)

Even here, where one might think that Dany is being fooled by the nobles, the writer makes an effort to show that that's not the case. Dany is not entirely trustful of them and considers if the three are setting some trap for her. Like I've emphasized so many times above in this post, the author works hard to showcase how Dany's political goals and views are not the same as those of any of her advisors, nor does she ever rely entirely on any of them.

Since the marriage is Dany's solution to ending the recent terrorist attacks in the city, I also need to point out what Barristan suggests to Dany here:

“[I]t is important to me that you should understand. My people are bleeding. Dying. A queen belongs not to herself, but to the realm. Marriage or carnage, those are my choices. A wedding or a war.”

“Your Grace, may I speak frankly?”

“Always.”

“There is a third choice.”

“Westeros?”

He nodded. (ADWD Daenerys IV)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if/when Dany decides to leave for Westeros, it won't be an "immoral and awful" decision (as Feldman says here). Fighting for her claim to the Iron Throne will simply be acting like any feudal lord would. In fact, framing Dany's eventual change of attitude as negative is very, very unfair, not only because she was already doing and sacrificing far more than she had to (as the book passage above shows), but also because she was never going to have a perfect and unambiguous victory in Slaver's Bay, no matter how much time she stays or how much effort she puts.

Anyway, back to discussing Dany's decisionmaking. In the same chapter, she explains to Daario (who had just returned from his mission to Lhazar) how the chaos in her city came to be, so he urges her to pretend she will marry Hizdahr only so she can gather all of the Great Masters in the Temple of the Graces and kill them all. These are her reactions:

“We have no proof this is their work. Would you have me slaughter my own subjects?” (ADWD Daenerys IV)

“Do you take me for the Butcher King?”

“Better the butcher than the meat. All kings are butchers. Are queens so different?”

“This queen is.” (ADWD Daenerys IV)

As we see once more, Dany is not willing to use indiscriminate violence against the Meereenese, even if she hates them. Daario tells her that a queen who won't be a butcher is a queen who is only a "brood mare" (as Cersei puts it), which Dany doesn't take well. She asks, angry, if she forgot who she is, and he makes the same question to her. Then, she finally orders him to leave.

I have more thoughts on Daario's advice, but I'll get to them later.

In ADWD Daenerys V, twenty-six days have passed without a single murder. The Shavepate is clearly irritated; he makes, in my opinion, a very convincing case when he says that Hizdahr's visits to several pyramids indicate that all of these families were aligned with the Sons and that he is conspiring with them. Dany is not so sure:

Skahaz was convinced that somewhere in Meereen the Sons of the Harpy had a highborn overlord, a secret general commanding an army of shadows. Dany did not share his belief. The Brazen Beasts had taken dozens of the Harpy’s Sons, and those who had survived their capture had yielded names when questioned sharply … too many names, it seemed to her. It would have been pleasant to think that all the deaths were the work of a single enemy who might be caught and killed, but Dany suspected that the truth was otherwise. My enemies are legion. “Hizdahr zo Loraq is a persuasive man with many friends. And he is wealthy. Perhaps he has bought this peace for us with gold, or convinced the other highborn that our marriage is in their best interests.” (ADWD Daenerys V)

While it could be argued that Hizdahr's words ("I do not doubt that Skahaz would soon have me confessing") have partly shaped Dany's views on the matter, I don't think her reasoning should be reduced to his influence. It makes perfect sense for the attacks not to be coordinated by a single person and that they are happening concurrently and being financed and ordered by different people at the same time. It also makes perfect sense for Hizdahr not to be directly involved with the killings (though I think he is), but rather that he has plenty of friends and managed to convince them to end the Sons' activities with bribery.

Perhaps more importantly, as @rainhadaenerys questioned in a conversation we had: even if the Green Grace (the one character most often identified as the Harpy) was found as their leader and arrested, would it have stopped the Sons' killings? It seems much more likely that they would have continued (either with the Sons or with another faction), because there are too many nobles interested in bringing her down. As Dany realizes, "[her] enemies are legion". That's a pretty solid conclusion. Maybe she would only be able to stop them if she followed Daario's advice (hence why she thinks about it one chapter later), which she is not willing to do.

Whatever happens, my point is that Dany's guess is logical and may even come to pass, so it's not a sign of stupidity at all that she couldn't imagine that the priestess Galazza Galare is the Harpy.

The Shavepate asks for Dany authorize his torture of Hizdahr, which she forbids:

“No,” she said. “I do not trust these confessions. You’ve brought me too many of them, all of them worthless.”

“Your Radiance—”

“No, I said.” (ADWD Daenerys V)

While I don't think that this is a situation that can be merely described as "Dany learned that torture is wrong" because there are several other factors at play, it's also true that she is the only ruler we've seen onpage ordering them to be stopped. Like I said when she proposed to take the gold and food from the nobles who would leave Meereen, it seems that Dany is learning from her mistakes.

Then, the Shavepate suggests sending the Brazen Beasts to the pyramids of all the ruling families of Meereen and seizing them so that Dany can win back the ships that she lost. Instead of trying to make his advice more appealing to Dany, he continues to press on the need for violence, which she has already made clear she'll avoid and reiterates it again:

“If I send the Brazen Beasts into the pyramids, it will mean open war inside the city. I have to trust in Hizdahr. I have to hope for peace.” Dany held the parchment above a candle and watched the names go up in flame, while Skahaz glowered at her. (ADWD Daenerys V)

It's quite noticeable that the Shavepate is out of his depth when the other person won't agree with his methods.

However, despite Dany's insistence to maintain a more moderate course of action, we see that she is aware that this choice makes her vulnerable:

Afterward, Ser Barristan told her that her brother Rhaegar would have been proud of her. Dany remembered the words Ser Jorah had spoken at Astapor: Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaegar died. (ADWD Daenerys V)

Let's contextualize the advice. When was it received and how did Dany deal with it? Was that good advice from Jorah? I would argue that it was not, since he was trying to normalize the training of the Unsullied and the existence of slavery in general as necessary evils if Dany is to win the game of thrones. However, his advice was useful in another sense: sometimes you can't play by the rules if you intend to succeed. And so, like with Viserys and Drogo, she found a solution that was informed by Jorah's influence while also being her own: by refusing to view the slaves as objects to be traded, Dany considered the deal illegitimate and sparked an abolitionist campaign that would influence an entire continent. In other words, Dany did not play by the rules (like he advised), but not by compromising her moral principles (like he intended), but because of her moral principles.

So, why are we being reminded of that advice now? Before I write my own interpretation, I also want to point out that Daario's advice from ADWD Daenerys IV stays in her mind long enough for her to remember it two chapters later (which very likely means that the author is trying to say something with it):

Get the heads of all the noble houses out of their pyramids on some pretext, Daario had said. The dragon’s words are fire and blood. Dany pushed the thought aside. It was not worthy of her. (ADWD Daenerys VI)

Dany has these thoughts when she is forced to make more compromises for the sake of her marriage. I want to make a separate post centered on her attempts to merge with the Meereenese nobles, so I won't dwell on the particular context of this passage here. What I want is to call attention to the fact that Daario's advice serves a similar purpose to that of Jorah's. Like Jorah, Daario also thinks Dany should compromise her moral values for the sake of her goal (in this case, crush the resistance inside her city). So, what are we to make of these moments? (Keep in mind that this is all speculation)

Someone who defends the peace agreement would call them "temptations", but, as I've argued here, I believe that war is the only righteous option in this particular case. Daenerys's eventual mindset shift, which is seeded in the two passages above, do not indicate that she's turning her back on the freedmen, but rather that she is turning back into the Daenerys of ASOS who made this statement:

“Freedom!” she sang out. “Dracarys! Dracarys!”

“Dracarys!” they shouted back, the sweetest word she’d ever heard. “Dracarys! Dracarys!” And all around them slavers ran and sobbed and begged and died, and the dusty air was filled with spears and fire. (ASOS Daenerys III)

Just as Dany's use of draconic force was once associated with freedom, I believe they will be framed as righteous once again in TWOW. The author's choice to have Dany remember Jorah's advice in ASOS Daenerys II makes me hopeful. Like I said above, Dany was given a suggestion and filtered it to make it her own decision. In ADWD Daenerys IV, Daario also asks her not to conform to accepted moral standards, and she remembers his words later on. Instead of that signaling her "downfall" or "moral degradation" or anything that doesn't make sense with her characterization, I think it's much more likely, considering her characterization and her pattern of actions, that she finds a different way that integrates both dragonfire and her morality. This is not to say that everything will go smoothly - I've expressed my doubts and apprehensions before concerning how far GRRM will take the negative consequences of Dany's crusade (and they will emerge, just like they did later in Astapor, because Dany's storyline never has easy and uncomplicated solutions), but, still, I think what both @rainhadaenerys and @yendany suggest in their posts here and here is much more likely, so I'll sum up some of their points here: a) believing that dragons plant no trees is not the ultimate conclusion of Dany's character development, b) understanding when, why, how and to which extent violence is necessary and justified is key and c) a dragon is not a slave because it ultimately won't abide to an unjust and false peace and, by embracing her identity, Dany will be better able to protect her children.

There isn't much more to say about how Dany handled the conflicts inside the city because the Sons only resume their attacks after Dany is gone and Hizdahr is arrested by Barristan and the Shavepate. She does receive advice from Barristan that is related to what I've been discussing in ADWD Daenerys IX, however. In this chapter, he says that he'd rather have Dany be protected by the Unsullied rather than the Brazen Beasts. Half of them are untried freedmen, he argues, and the other half is left undescribed, but Dany intuitively understands what he means:

And the other half are Meereenese of doubtful loyalty, he left unsaid. Selmy mistrusted all the Meereenese, even shavepates.

Even with the suspicions about their allegiance, Dany still goes through with her decision to use the Brazen Beasts as her guards:

“And untried they shall remain unless we try them.” (ADWD Daenerys IX)

“How should Meereen ever come to trust the Brazen Beasts if I do not? There are good brave men beneath those masks. I put my life into their hands.” (ADWD Daenerys IX)

Dany said in the previous chapter that she "was forgetting how to trust", but we see here that that's not really true. During the feast, she was particularly unhappy and miserable about the concessions she was making and how vulnerable to the Yunkish she was becoming, so it was understandable that she would have thoughts charged with frustration. However, now that Dany seems a bit more content and less angry here, once again, her attitude goes back to being one of open-mindedness as it usually is. This makes for compelling and believable (rather than simplistic or contradictory) characterization.

I also like how this decision emphasizes Dany's awareness that a leader should be an example for her subjects (a recurring attitude that goes back to ACOK). Like I've said plenty of times already, she always holds herself accountable - if Queen Daenerys shows that they are trustworthy, eventually, the citizens of Meereen will also feel safe under the protection of this new city watch.

Finally, to appease Barristan, Dany reminds him that she has him and Belwas by her side, which she believes should be enough. Now we've come full circle: if, in ADWD Daenerys I, Dany considered Barristan's feedback and her available options and chose the one she thought was the least worst for a job (the Unsullied), here in ADWD Daenerys IX she is shown doing the same thing (the Brazen Beasts). She's willing to trust in her freedmen both at the beginning and the end.

How Dany assesses the advice she receives

Barristan Selmy

Barristan warns Dany that the Unsullied aren't well-suited to ask people about what happened to Stalwart Shield nor inquire about the Sons's activities (ADWD Dany I).

Dany considers her available options and concludes that the Unsullied are still the best choice for now.

In the reopening of Daznak's Pit, Barristan recommends that Dany uses the Unsullied to protect her rather than the Brazen Beasts due to his distrust in them, his uncertainty about their skills and his fear that the Sons are still around (ADWD Dany IX).

Dany still decides to use the Brazen Beasts as her guards because she thinks she should trust them before everyone else does.

Daario Naharis

Daario is in favor of Dany gathering all the masters in the Temple of the Graces under the false pretense of marrying Hizdahr and killing them all (ADWD Dany IV).

Dany is horrified by Daario's suggestion and, after he challenges her, sends him away.

Reznak mo Reznak

Reznak is against any sort of punishment to the nobles for the Sons's murders (ADWD Dany I, II).

In the first chapter, Dany follows his advice, but not because she is pro-nobility, but rather because she doesn't want to punish people indiscriminately.

In the second chapter, Dany doesn't follow his advice.

The Shavepate

The Shavepate recommends the killing of a man from each family for Stalwart Shield's death and the killing of two if another death occurs (ADWD Dany I).

Dany decides not to follow his advice because she is avoiding to punish people indiscriminately.

He also suggests torturing the daughters of the wineseller while he watches (ADWD Dany II).

Dany follows his advice.

Later, he urges Dany to kill the child hostages to prevent the murders from continuing (ADWD Dany IV).

Dany doesn't follow his advice because she doesn't want more innocent children like Hazzea dying.

At last, he proposes torturing Hizdahr (because he believes he's involved with the Harpy's Sons) and seizing people from the ruling families so that Dany can get her ships back (ADWD Dany V).

Dany doesn't follow his advice because his previous tortures didn't bring any trustworthy results.

Verdict

Dany takes responsibility for Stalwart Shield's death by a) waking up at night, b) ordering that he's properly buried and honored, c) offering more gold to anyone who might give clues about the murderers and d) forbiding her soldiers to walk at night. All of these decisions are made on her own.

Dany increases the offer of gold for information concerning the Harpy's Sons from one hundred to one thousand honors. This decision is made on her own.

Dany allows the torture of the wineseller's daughters by the Shavepate after his manipulation.

Dany a) orders Grey Worm to release the Unsullied from their duties at night, b) creates the Brazen Beasts (and a blood tax to pay them), c) forbids the nobles from leaving the city with their gold and stores of food and d) takes two hostages from each pyramid. All of these decisions are made on her own.

Dany organizes the freedmen into three companies (Mother's Men, Stalwart Shields, Free Brothers). This decision is made on her own.

Dany promises to marry Hizdahr if he's able to give her ninety days with no murders in the city. This decision is made on her own.

#daenerys targaryen #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls #dany and her choices #skahaz mo kandaq #reznak mo reznak #a dance with dragons

54 notes · View notes

theologyinplay · 6 years

Text

From the Garden to Grace, Wk IV: This isn’t That: the difference between being saved & going to heaven

One of the biggest misunderstandings in the church today is the belief that being saved means you’re going to heaven.

It makes the only reason for someone to “get saved” just so they don’t burn in hell.

We see something a little different in scripture, however.

What’s intrigued me in recent years is how quickly Christians can jump on the “all are in sin” bandwagon. But how reluctant they can be to acknowledge that all have been saved. Take a quick look at Romans 5. The Apostle Paul says, “Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men.” (v. 18).

The saving is by God alone. It was his idea and when we think we have some sort of role to play in it, we fall into the same trap as the Galatians. Just look at what Paul says to the Ephesians. “Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing!” (2:8-9, MSG).

The Galatian bewitchment is something Paul addresses in his letter and something I believe the church still struggles with today. The bewitchment was that we have a role to play in our own salvation. But what we see in scripture is quite different.

Paul tries to realign them after they’d been duped by some religious leaders that came in after him and convinced them to fall back in line with the law. This looks a lot like modern evangelicalism. There is a list of things we have to do in order to be saved, maintain the relationship, and be a good little Christian boy or girl. Paul had some strong words for them, though. “O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified (3:1). Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God’s message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren’t smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it?” (v.2-3, MSG).

Another point is that being saved does not automatically mean you’re going to heaven. A common misconception with someone arguing universal salvation is that they’re often labeled a universalist. Let me make something clear up front: I am not a universalist. A universalist is someone who believes that all will eventually get to heaven. The error with this is twofold. I do not believe all will eventually be saved. I believe all have already been saved. I also believe in free will and our option to either accept or reject this reality.

Let’s try and break down a little bit of what scripture has to say as far as salvation being made complete for all.

It’s important to note the difference between trusting in the work of Jesus over the person of Jesus. If the person of Jesus is our salvation, then there’s more emphasis on the incarnation than we realize. If, in the incarnation, God actually did become man, this would be as representative of mankind as a whole. We see this in the second letter to the Corinthians too. Paul says that “If one died on behalf of all, all died” (2 Cor. 5:14). And in Romans 6 Paul says that if we have died with him, we know that we have also risen with him. Who is the “We” in the equation?

All!

I know this comes across as uncomfortable if you’re used to the notion of some being “In” and others being “Out”. The way you get in is believing in the right things. If you don’t, you’re out. But this has never been God’s heart. God’s heart was never to leave the decision of relationship up to us. He decided before all creation that he would rig things in our favor so he could be with us. The purpose of evangelism is to persuade others to know what God already knows, to accept our already acceptance and no longer live for ourselves (2 Cor. 5:15).

You see, it isn’t that Jesus was just the Son of God who was crucified for you on a cross and that by believing in that your sins can be forgiven. It is because God came as a blueprint for original humanity, your original design, whatever he went through, he went through it representing all of mankind. The Gospel of John eloquently beings explaining this. “The Logos is the source; everything commences in him. He remains the exclusive Parent reference to their existence. There is nothing original, except the Word! The Logic of God defines the only possible place where humankind can trace their genesis” (1:3, MIRROR).

If, then, we all originated in him, this puts the emphasis on the person of Jesus before the work of Jesus. And so, if all have died and raised in the death and resurrection of Jesus, why does that mean they’re not automatically going to heaven? Because the point of salvation was never about your decision. Salvation was his decision long ago. It is therefore up to us whether we’re going to agree or disagree with that reality. It’s the real life all around us. We can choose to continue in our disillusionment, or surrender to the love that’s been drawing us home all along.

If we agree, we see things the way God does. When we don’t we choose to hold ourselves according to our own judgement. The heaven and hell deal is another rabbit trail as well.

You cannot separate and locate heaven or hell in two different geographical locations, whether spiritual or not. Often hell is thought of as eternal separation from God. This, right off the bat, is a ridiculous assessment. There is no place where God is not present. David even says in his Psalm 139, “I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence” (NLT).

The whole point of this argument is that you’re not saved because you made a decision for Jesus. All have been saved because of God’s decision in Christ. I am free, however, to be an idiot and reject that kind of indiscriminate acceptance, though. If I do, I carry that into eternity. And in so doing, that eternal bash, at which God has been the dj, since before the foundations of the earth becomes a battle field to avoid and hide (in the nearest bush) from Love himself.

Picture this: there is an eternal party and everybody’s been invited. You die, and the veil of this physical world is lifted and there you are, standing in the ballroom, music playing, hors devourers being passed around by waiters, a stocked full bar, a buffet the length of seven football fields of all the fanciest things. You get the picture.

So there you are, standing in the middle of the room, looking around, observing, and checking out the scene. Let’s say you died a believer. This scene would look like the party that it is. The love that has captivated you in life envelopes you and he approaches. He wraps his arms around you as he nears, embracing you right against his chest. You sink into that love and feel at home. He directs you over to the bar for a cocktail as he snatches some bruschetta from a tray as it passes by. The party is in full swing.

Let’s take a look at the same party from someone who passed from life into eternity as a non-believer. There you are, standing in the middle of the room, squinted eyes, looking around, noticing the bar, the food and the waiters and it’s all suspect. As your eyes come across that love, your heart sinks. The butterflies in your belly go wild and that anxious sweat forms around your brow. You quickly look away as you see him notice you. You look behind you and around the edges for some place to get away to. He approaches and the stress increases. You quiver and move to a quiet hiding place. He gets closer as you depart. As love himself approaches, all you can feel is fear and strain. This isn’t comfortable. This is agony. This love that you see is not received as love to you. In your unbelief, that love has been wrath, judgement, impending punishment and doom. There is nothing comforting or joyful about that love. You can’t get away fast or far enough.

God is love and that love doesn’t turn to wrath based on who we are, what we do, believe or not believe. if we continue to reject that love, it becomes the burning wrath described in scripture (Matt. 10:28).

Or perhaps you like the image of standing outside the party you began at and stormed out of. And there God is, pleading with you to just shut up and come on in and enjoy yourself. It’s the picture of the forgiving father pleading with his eldest son to come in and celebrate. And there the father remains, pleading. The scene ends, as Jesus doesn’t neatly close out the parable, with that image.

You see, eternity is the place beyond this physical world. Like I said before, it isn’t something that’s 2 separate locations and when you die, God chooses which to send you to. I will be covering hell in another post later on. For now I want to simply focus on the fact that we have been located within the person of Jesus Christ, hidden in him. All have been saved because all have been included in the saving death and resurrection of Jesus. We are free, however, to reject such a gift.

I submit to you, this is the same situation we had there in the garden scene with Adam and Eve. This garden of paradise was set up as pure pleasure for them. As soon as they succumbed to unbelief and doubting God’s love and acceptance of them, it turned into hell. The garden didn’t change, they did. The point of salvation was not Jesus changing God’s mind about man, but changing man’s mind about God.

This is not something that happens when you believe. This is not something that, even by your faith, you can obtain and appropriate. This gift he gave, he gave indiscriminately. His death and resurrection is the invitation sent out to all. It’s right there in your pocket. It’s the million dollar deposit in your bank account. It’s there whether you accept it or not. But it’s quite the waste if you don’t.

Let me close with a quote by Robert Capon. He says, “I am and I am not a universalist. I am one if you’re talking about what God in Christ has done to save the world. The Lamb of God has not taken away the sins of some – of only the good, or the cooperative, or the select few who can manage to get their act together and die as perfect peaches. He has taken away the sins of the world – of every last being in it – and he has dropped them down the black hole of Jesus’ death. On the cross, he has shut up forever on the subject of guilt: “There is therefore now no condemnation…” All human beings, at all times and places, are home free whether they know it or not, feel it or not, believe it or not.

I am not a universalist if you are talking about what people may do about accepting that happy-go-lucky gift of God’s grace. I take with utter seriousness everything Jesus had to say about hell, including the eternal torment that such a foolish non-acceptance must entail. All theologians who hold scripture to be the Word of God must inevitably include in their work a tractate on hell. But I will not – because Jesus did not – locate hell outside the realm of grace. Grace is forever sovereign, even in Jesus’ parables of judgement. No one is ever kicked out at the end of those parables who wasn’t included in at the beginning”.

The reason this is an important enough topic to cover in one post is because of the common misunderstanding that often looms over such a theme. All have been saved because God said so in Jesus’ death and resurrection. He was fully capable and willing to finish the job on our behalf. Our role, as believers, is to announce to the world what God has accomplished in Christ. The joy of their salvation. The grace that has drawn all home. Our rejection of such a gift only makes sense if we do not have a true understanding of that gift. In other words, when we tell someone some list of things they need to do to get right with God. God took care of everything when he came as man and was strung up on a cross to die our death. He didn’t leave anything out.

When I enter into that eternal party, at which I am already very present being in Christ right now, I want to be able to melt in the arms of Love, not run and hide. I want to embrace that which has embraced me from before existence.

Do not think, though, that believing in universal salvation leaves no more room for evangelism. It certainly does! I love talking about and teaching this Gospel good news to people. Seeing their eyes light up with the news that God has picked them, chosen them, and included them from the beginning of time. The news, not of what God can do for them if they’d only believe, but what God has already done for them!

In John’s first epistle he says, “We saw it, we heard it, and now we’re telling you so you can experience it along with us, this experience of communion with the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. Our motive for writing is simply this: We want you to enjoy this, too. Your joy will double our joy!”(1:3-4, MSG).

And so it is with me and this post. Be encouraged that you and everyone else have been included in that great love and grace. Be encouraged that he has not required something of you to have it, but ask that you simply trust that it’s true and free so we can begin to enjoy the endless bounties of such pleasure and gladness that is in Christ Jesus.

There are a lot of ways to think about life after death. It’s difficult to properly explain everything without each post being 16 pages long. I try my best to compound it as I can. Especially for concepts that may be very new to people who’ve never heard such perspectives.

My crass analogy is simply a way to better see something none of us on this side of life have seen yet. There are also plenty of other scriptural references for universal salvation as well as those seemingly to condemn those that reject the free gift. However, the general arc of scripture and the message of Paul in his letter leaves me with the impression that God was fully able to finish the work of drawing all to himself at the cross. We are, however of course free to reject it. How we receive or reject love will ultimately determine how love looks to us.

Grace + Peace

0 notes

scabroad-iphe17-scstudyabroad · 7 years

Photo

STILLNESS OF THE MIDNIGHT

“I want daytime, I want place, I want a sense of history. Even though place will never be the same again for me, because its lights and shadows may change, I want to be there when it happens.” Es’kia Mphahlele, 1984

As I write, I am leaving Johannesburg on a flight bound for New York City’s JFK Airport. This unbelievable visit to South Africa is coming to an end. Honestly, I should have written this post days ago, but the mental and physical energies needed to process all that I have seen and felt escaped me. What an inspiring and sobering experience this journey has been. In the weeks leading up to our travels to Joburg and Cape Town, an image of a bespectacled elderly gentleman with white hair remained frozen in my mind. Nearly fifteen years ago, in a sparse office lit only by the sunlight of the windows, he sat quietly writing on a lined notepad. We were neighbors in Gambrell Hall where he served as a visiting fellow. To many, he was just an older instructor with a slow gait dressed in African clothing. Few knew that he was Dr. Es'kia (Ezekiel) Mphahlele, one of the most highly regarded literary writers and intellectuals from the African continent, hailed as the “Dean of African Letters.” In a memoir entitled Down Second Avenue, Es’kia wrote powerfully about the racial segregation and discrimination of his youth in Pretoria. When he passed away in 2008, I regretted that I never had a chance to visit with him in his native home. While I learned many details about apartheid in college and graduate school, the full power of the human and civil rights campaign among people of African descent was pressed upon me by Es’kia’s wise guidance. As our IPHE cohort made our way to various destinations, I thought about Es’kia and the conversations we had in his office. As he called the roll of friends and associates—W. E. B. Du Bois, Malcolm X, Langston Hughes, and Leopold Senghor—, I peppered him with endless questions. And he very graciously satisfied my schoolboy curiosities. Sitting on the air-conditioned bus zipping down streets and highways, I thought about Es’kia as I looked at the expansive compounds and humble corrugated tin structures—most bounded by walls, wires, and gates. I wondered what Es’kia would have to say about these divided encampments two decades after the fall of apartheid. How would he respond to the pronounced dissonance, fears, and frustrations that continued to strangle the hopes and aspirations of so many? What would Es’kia say about the seemingly insurmountable hurdles children from his homeland faced as they scaled the ladders of higher education? What words of encouragement would he offer the young lady next to me on this flight—a pre-med student at the University of South Africa who is on her way to a United Nations conference. I know Es’kia would be quite proud to hear of her work empowering young women living in Alexandra, an impoverished township near Joburg. As our group studied higher education in Johannesburg, I’m sure Es’kia would have given us a very different orientation to institutions, especially the University of Witwatersrand. While students rightly protested the soaring costs of education and demanded a “decolonized” curriculum at Wits and elsewhere, I wondered how many of them knew about Es’kia Mphahlele. Did they know that this extraordinary scholar and activist navigated minefields as Wit’s first black African professor? Did they know of his pathbreaking demand for decolonization as he shaped the formation of African Studies? Ironically, while meeting with Wits faculty members, Janet Hudson, Chris Ward and I spent time with Dr. Sekibakiba Peter Lekgoathi, the head of the History Department. When I mentioned Es’kia’s name, a bright smile came across Professor Lekgoathi’s face. He told us he was one of Es’kia’s former students, and he spoke movingly about his teacher’s influence as a mentor for the black African undergraduates and graduates who broke down color barriers on the campus. As we entered Soweto, the South Western Township, and traveled down a palm lined highway and passed shopping malls, fast food restaurants, and new car lots, I thought of Es’kia. I thought of his resting place in Limpopo as I tried to make sense of the faded inscriptions on headstones in an overgrown cemetery on the side of the road. As I looked toward distant hills and counted rows upon rows of small homes (others called them shanties) dotting the horizon, I thought about the stories that Es’kia shared. What testimonies, what secrets and what revelations lingered among the people who lived in those places? Here was the township where Es’kia lost his teaching job for opposing Bantu schools—convinced that such schools were designed to keep his people down. Here was the terminus of the forced migration of “many thousands gone,” a place where Black Africans were banished to the margins as “pilgrims in a barren land.” Here was the home later occupied by a former teenager trained to box by Es’kia. In the years to come, we would know the young boxer as Archbishop Desmond Tutu. A sense of guilt and anxiety came over me, as l looked out the bus window—making note of the landscape, dwellings and people before me. As we toured Soweto, I so wanted the bus to be quiet as my mind took in the scenes before us. But some of the voices of my colleagues kept breaking the silence. I wanted to sing: “Hush, somebody’s calling my name.” Don’t you see what I see? Don’t you feel what I feel? Don’t you know where we are? Aren’t you searching and seeking like me? Think of this! A luxury bus driving by a Soweto family traveling by horse and wagon. Dirt roads with gapping potholes only feet from the paved street that carried United States tourists by tiny metal homes, small gardens, clothes swinging in the wind near outhouses, joyful children coming home from school, goats foraging along the roadside, men sipping wine in front of a barbershop, a bouncing baby sitting with his parents selling vegetables in the market, only steps away from the memorial commemorating the 1955 Freedom Charter, a document with prophetic words from sixty-two years ago that read: “There shall be houses, security, and comfort.” Throughout my time in Soweto, I found myself stepping to the side, walking in solitude, touching walls and stones, looking down side streets, listening to voices—speaking languages that I did not understand. Indeed, it was a moving picture. Moving in the emotional sense. But also moving in the cinematic sense, like watching a film from my window. But the scenes were not lifted from a Hollywood script. There were as real as real could be. One of the most striking persons I encountered was an elderly woman with a brown cap that touched just above her furrowed brows. Her eyes, her complexion, and her cheekbones reminded me of my grandmother Helen. She had on a light blue spotted dress, a red shirt and dark blue slippers. Lying almost prostrate, her weathered hands weeded a small dirt spot in front of the Regina Mundi Catholic Church. More than a place of worship, this holy dwelling served as a site of protest during the height of the Anti-apartheid struggle. Here Freedom Fighters found sanctuary and security as the defenders of white power attacked them with guns and batons. Here the markings of bullet holes near the altar illustrate the cruel limits people would go to defend the status quo. And here in the shadows of a church amid vendors and tourists, an elder pulled weeds from a dirt plot. A beautiful moment happened as I watched members of our group drop to their knees to assist the woman. And there hands of many colors picked away at what was left of the green leaves in the dirt patch. The work was done, and the plot was like new again. After we spent time buying souvenirs from the vendors, our bus prepared to continue on our journey. As we departed, I looked back at the woman who reminded me of Grandma Helen. And there she was—still on the ground, her gaze downward and her hands still touching the dirt in the cleared little patch. Was she touching with pride the work she accomplished with help from the visitors? Or were her fingers pulling away at the hidden roots that my friends overlooked? Maybe her seasoned eyes saw something in that soil that we did not. Maybe! I so wanted to talk to her and learn more about her life. Who was she? Why was she on the ground in front of a church pulling away weeds? Unanswered questions. Her face and her countenance, her clothes and her grin were all so familiar, and yet we were complete strangers, separated by time, distance, language and history. Maybe the woman with her fingers in the little patch of dirt could tell us what happened to Hector Pieterson and the young people killed in 1976. Was she there? Did she know any of those young souls gunned down as they protested? Next to the Pieterson Museum, our delegation of educators tried to make sense of the harrowing story before us. With cascading fountains and a gripping image of a lifeless Pieterson in our background, Poloko Nthako, our tour guide powerfully chronicled the tragic death of hundreds of young students—freedom warriors—who were crucified daring to believe that their future could be different. Beneath a reflecting pool of rocks and slated stones, there was an arresting line: “To honour the Youth who gave their lives in the struggle for freedom and democracy.” Hector Pieterson killed on a Soweto street. Nelson Mandela locked away in a tiny cell on Robben Island. Es’kia Mphahlele writing and teaching exiled across the sea. The elderly woman dressed in many colors in front of her church. And the bright young woman sitting next to me on this flight whose mother saves from a teacher’s salary so that her daughter might one day become a pathologist. Juxtapose all of this to a historic sign that confronted me and boiled my indignation when we visited the Apartheid Museum in Joburg. The words were plain and simple. They echoed the troubling fears of white people and underscored the depths of oppression black people faced. “The White man is the master in South Africa, and the white man, from the very nature of his origins, from the very nature of his birth, and from the very nature of his guardianship, will remain master in South Africa to the end.” MASTER TO THE END? This was the tragic history that Es’kia wanted to expose. In only a few days, this trip demonstrated that such absolutes--described so often as “natural”--have a way of being uprooted, just like the weeds in front of the Regina Mundi Church. We see clearly that South Africa is a different place. And yet, the people remind us that there is a difficult, bruising, and badly needed struggle ahead. Lessons learned. Hopefully so! My seat mate is now asleep, and I should follow her lead. A notebook and a small Bible are in her lap. So, I dim the lights, turn on my I-tunes, and listen to Aretha Franklin’s version of a gospel song my friend Absalom and I used to sing during our first year in college—the same year we donned our black uniforms and championed the anti-Apartheid Movement in that far distant place called South Africa. “Precious memories, how they linger, how they ever flood my soul. In the stillness of the midnight, precious sacred scenes unfold.” -Bobby Donaldson

1 note · View note