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whitewolfofwinterfell · 3 years

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Harry Potter re-read: thoughts and ranking my favourite books

In 2020 I completed a full re-read of Harry Potter for the first time since I was a child. It was a rollercoaster experience of highs and lows; excitement, nostalgia, frustration, joy, boredom and everything in between. It took the whole year (in between reading other books) and I hit a wall in the sumer, but I’m glad I persevered and made it to the end. This series will always hold a special place in my heart and as much as I love the movies, there’s so much detail that is missed from them. I didn’t realise just how much my memories of the HP universe had been shaped by the movies until I read the books. I feel like I’ve reconnected with the universe and characters in an authentic way and lots of my opinions have changed as a result.

Before we get to the ranking, some disclaimers:

If it wasn’t already obvious SPOILERS BELOW FOR THE HARRY POTTER SERIES (at this point I’d be surprised if there’s anybody that needs this warning, but better safe than sorry!).

This ranking is completely subjective and very changable. I love all of the books and I’ve based the ranking solely on my enjoyment of reading them.

In writing this post I am in no way supporting or endorsing J.K. Rowling’s works. Her ignorance and hatred is intolerable and abhorrent. I discuss this more in the conclusion of this post.

None of the images or gifs featured were made by me, all credit goes to the creators.

7. The Goblet of Fire

One of my favourite movies, but my least favourite book. This one hasn’t aged well for me. It’s too long, there’s much too filler and it has the disadvantage of coming after The Prisoner of Azkaban. I like the idea of the Triwizard Tournament in theory, but the execution is dull. We spend chapters upon chapters upon chapters with Harry and Hermione researching and preparing for the tasks and the tasks themselves are very anti-climatic. It’s also difficult to ignore the fact that the second and third tasks take part underwater and in a maze, and the audience can’t even see what’s going on. Apparently there’s no spell that can allow the audience to see underwater or inside a maze, not even those Muggle inventions called cameras *face palm*

The sub-plot with S.P.E.W was equally dull and didn’t add much to the story. I also found it deeply uncomfortable and upsetting to read about the enslavement of elves and the way that slavery was portrayed in general. The one positive I took from it was seeing Dobby with his crazy jumpers and socks. Dobby is The Best.

(credit to xbirdyblue on DeviantArt for this wonderful fanart image of Dobby)

The reactions to Harry’s name coming out of the Goblet of Fire is what infuriated me most in this book because it doesn’t even make sense. Firstly, does anybody really believe Harry’s capable of overcoming such powerful magic to put his name in? Secondly, why the fudging hell would Harry want to put his name in the Goblet? He’s a 14 year old child who has endured endless trauma; he’s spent most of his life living in an abusive household and the 3 years he’d been at Hogwarts fighting against Voldemort. He doesn’t want fame or glory, he just wants to live a normal, peaceful life and hang out with his best friends. Ron’s reaction is particularly annoying because he of all people should know Harry wouldn’t put his name in the Goblet. I understand why Ron felt that way and I love him but...

The one thing I did enjoy about this book is the evolution of Harry’s friendships with Ron and Hermione. Hermione is fiercely loyal to Harry and devoted every waking second to helping him succeed in the tasks. Despite Ron’s silly tantrum and their divide through most of the book, their falling out really does cement Harry’s love for Ron.

"He thought he could have coped with the rest of the school's behaviour if he could just have Ron back as his friend."

Harry liked Hermione very much, but she just wasn't the same as Ron. There was much less laughter and a lot more hanging round in the library."

"The thing Harry Potter will miss the most, sir!"

"Harry didn't care, he wouldn't have cared if Karkaroff had given him zero; Ron's indignation on his behalf was worth a hundred points to him."

What can I say? Ron is Harry’s platonic soul mate. That is all.

Barty Crouch’s escape from Azkaban and transformation into Moody is more cunning and intelligent than it was in the movies - this dude switched places with his mother and left her in Azkaban in his place!!

Fred and George were by far the highlight of this book for me. Their characters are great in the movies, but in the books they’re just--

Their antics, wit and banter are top notch. I’d actually forgotten that Harry gave his prize winnings from the Tournament to Fred and George, and it seems like such a huge injustice!! This act of kindness and selflessness on Harry’s part is largely why Fred and George are able to set up Wizard Wheezes. It’s a testament to Harry’s love for Fred and George that he gave them his winnings. Harry may not have needed the money but he could’ve done literally anything with it, and chose to give it to the twins because he believed in their ideas and wanted to give them the opportunity they needed.

GOF was always one of my favourite movies because of this moment:

Voldemort’s return was one of the most chilling, terrifying and shocking moments for me as a kid. The scene in the graveyard still stands out as being one of my favourite scenes from the movies. In the books, it didn’t have the same impact, unfortunately. In fact, this is what was noticeable to me all the way through reading this book - I like the movie more. The movie cuts out the filler, takes the interesting aspects of the book and does them better.

Overall, despite being at the bottom of my list, I still like GOF. It’s a huge step up in world-building and is an entertaining book with a great premise; I loved the Golden Trio’s friendship, the appearances from Dobby and Fred and George’s antics. Unfortunately, this book is let down by the sheer amount of filler, the underwhelming execution of the main plot and too much focus on sub-plots like S.P.E.W.

6. The Sorcerer’s Philosopher’s Stone

It was really difficult to rank Phliosopher’s Stone, because it holds a special place in my heart because it’s where the series began. This book does a great job at introducing Hogwarts and it captures those nostalgic, magical Hogwarts vibes unlike any of the other books. This book is all about the wonder and the joy of Hogwarts, and Hogwarts lives in my heart, so stepping into this magical world with Harry for the first time again was a joy to read.

I love the time spent in this book on experiencing the smaller wonders of the magical world with Harry - Platform 9 3/4, Hogwarts Express, Diagon Alley, Ollivanders, the Sorting Hat, Great Hall feasts, ghosts etc. It’s exciting and fun to read about, and truly a gem of a book for children.

Seeing Harry go from living in a cupboard and suffering abuse and neglect to an incredible world full of wonder and people who want to get to know him and show him kindness was a joy to read. I love the development of Harry, Ron and Hermione’s friendship and how, despite how short the book is, it’s developed properly. Their friendship with Hermione doesn’t happen overnight, but by the end there’s a genuine bond and trust between them.

But of course, as the first book in the series, the plot is lacking and the writing isn’t at its strongest. Also, despite how short it is I did feel a little bored reading the second half. It’s a great entry to the series and does a wonderful job at establishing the world, main trio and other characters, but in the grander scheme of the series it’s quite bland a forgettable.

5. The Deathly Hallows

Now this one came as a big surprise to me, because before my re-read I considered The Deathly Hallows to be my favourite book, but I just didn’t enjoy it this time around. The first 50-60% of this book got me like:

I was bored as hell. The travelling, the hunting for Horcruxes, Dumbledore’s backstory, the bickering between Harry, Ron and Hermione...it was tiresome. Fortunately, amongst that there were a lot of isolated things that I enjoyed.

Firstly, I adore the Tale of the Three Brothers, it’s interesting and I love the depiction of it in the movies - it’s just so cool!

Secondly, Ron and Hermione are very cute in this book, and for the first time I appreciated them as a romantic ship.

Thirdly, Harry looking through Sirius’ room and finding a letter from Lily broke my heart. This moment is so touching and completely unexpected, since I’d forgotten about it over the years.

(credit to alessiatrunifo for this stunning fanart)

Fourthly, LUNA LOVEGOOD. You know what? I have no qualms in saying Luna is one of my new favourite characters since my re-read. I always liked her, but she never stood out to me, and that’s changed. It’s not just that she’s unique and wacky, but that she’s fiercely independent, moral, kind and loyal. Luna has such a strong sense of who she is and she doesn’t let anyone or anything contradict that.

Can I also admit that I might slightly ship Harry and Luna now? 🙊 Luna seeing through Harry’s disguise as “Barney Weasley” based on his facial expressions alone and their reactions to the possibility of the other being in danger touched my heart.

"'She will [survive],' said Harry. He could not bear to contemplate the alternative. 'She's tough Luna, much tougher than you'd think. She's probably teaching all the inmates about Wrackspurts and Nargles.'"

"Oh, no, I didn't want you to be caught!"

They’re cute, okay?

Finally, Kreacher! This was perhaps one of the biggest surprises from reading this book, because I’d completely forgotten about Kreacher’s story. And boy, oh, boy did this pull on my heartstrings. Kreacher has one of the most tragic backstories in the HP universe and he absolutely deserves the redemption he got in this book. I loved seeing him develop a genine relationship with Harry, Ron and Hermione, and the fact that they never went back for him made me so sad. Poor Kreacher!

I enjoyed all of these elements of the first half of the book, and then I got to The Sacking of Severus Snape and it was like:

This is where the book finally took off for me (unfortunately, it took 30 chapters to get there) and as soon as Harry, Ron and Hermione are back in Hogwarts I couldn’t put it down. There are so many brilliant moments and things I loved that all I can really do is bullet point them:

The character reunions.

Percy finally redeeming himself!!!!

McGonnagal being the most badass to ever badass.

Neville Longbottom owns my heart ❤❤❤

Neville's grandmother's response to finding out Neville was fighting in the battle - "Naturally [he is]. Excuse me, I must go and assist him."

Ron and Hermione's first kiss!! and Harry’s reaction to it - "Is this the moment? OI! There's a war going on here!"

Percy handing in his resignation whilst Stupefy-ing his boss - "Hello, Minister! Did I mention I'm resigning?"

The Forest Again was such an emotional chapter. It got me good.

"You'll stay with me?" "Until the very end." 😭

"Harry, you wonderful boy. You brave, brave man."

"Perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those, who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

Did I mention that Neville is bloomin' amazing?

Kreacher!!!!!! "Fight! Fight! Fight for my master, defender of the house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord in the name of brave Regalus! Fight!"

Reading The Flaw in the Plan was soooo much more satisfying than watching it play out on-screen in the movie.

In many ways DH has some of the best, most satisfying moments of any of the books. It’s a strong conclusion to the series and there’s so much that I loved about it; so many memorable and emotional moments (Dobby and Fred’s deaths still hit hard 20 years later). Unfortunately, it was dragged down by the first half of the book and the epilogue. I tried so hard to keep an open mind about the epilogue, but the truth is it still BLOWS. And the more time that passes the more I resent the decisions that were made about character deaths. I understand that the stakes were high and we needed to lose characters close to our hearts but Fred?? Dobby??? Remus??? NO! Just no, okay? I don’t accept that.

4. The Order of the Phoenix

Now, The Order of the Phoenix had similar issues as DH for me - it had a very slow start but a great ending. I did take a couple of months break in the middle of reading this one and distinctly remember slogging my way through the first half and devouring the second half.

I’ve made no secret over the years that Sirius and Remus are two of favourite HP characters, so I expected to enjoy OOTP a lot for that reason. I did really enjoy all the smatterings of Sirius and Remus we go throughout this book. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough for me. This book really highlighted for me how limited Harry’s POV was, because I wanted more of an insight into the Order but Harry was kept in the dark the entire time which was frustrating.

One of the main character highlights of this book is the legend Minverva McGonnagal. Her sass, strength and determination to defend Hogwarts and its students against Dolores is astounding. Here are some of my favourite McGonnagal moments:

"Well, usually when a person shakes their head they mean 'no.'"

"Can I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?"

"I should have made my meaning plainer. [Harry] has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a compotent teacher."

Defending Hagrid against Umbridge.

And of course:

(Still can’t believe the movie robbed us of this!)

Time for a less popular opinion - I loved Harry in this book. In general, this book made me feel very protective of Harry, because Harry is bloomin’ incredible and deserves so much better than what he gets in this book. He’s always had a bad rep in OOTP for being an annoying, angsty teenager, but in my opinion, this is Harry at his most relatable and lovable. After everything Harry went through, he’s entitled to be angry with the world. He endured everything that he did and took the responsibility of the world onto his shoulders with little complaint, and in OOTP he reaches breaking point. Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. The adults in Harry’s life are glaringly irresponsible in this book. Not only do they force him back to the Dursley’s after the hugely traumatic events of GOF based on some bull about “blood magic”, but they purposefully hide the truth from him even though that puts him at greater risk and adds to his emotional distress. Everyone around Harry expects him to be mature and act like an adult when he’s fighting against the darkest wizard of all time, yet don’t give him the courtesy or respect of telling him the truth about significant things that impact him and the people he loves. Sirius os the only person that refuses to belittle Harry, but in some ways, his behaviour is just as damaging as those that tried to shelter Harry from the truth, because he expects too much of Harry and projects James’ personality onto him. The adults around Harry fail him to such an extent in this book that he establishes the DA because he can’t even rely on the adults around him to keep him and his friends safe. Harry’s emotions in this book aren’t only understandable, but justified and I felt an even deeper connection to him as a result. His vulnerability shows his strength and courage more than ever before. This is the point where he goes from the Chosen One to a true champion, because even when he reaches rock bottom and wants to give up, he doesn’t walk away. I love Harry so much.

The Department of Mysteries is by far one of my favourite sections from any of the books. I love the friendship dynamics, Luna, Neville and Ginny are given the chance to really shine, the stakes are high, the action is great and despite the trauma of Sirius’ death, that moment is so hard-hitting and memorable. This section of the book just took it to a new level for me. It was really great.

The emotion of Sirius’ death was captured so perfectly, and is such a huge turning point for Harry. Like I said above, choosing to go on even after losing Sirius proves that Harry is a true hero; that he isn’t just doing what he was doing out of obligation or has been told to but because he believes in doing the right thing. I best move on before I continue to speak about how amazing Harry James Potter is.

Now we come to Neville. Can you believe that I’d actually forgot the details of Neville being the Chosen One? It was a blast learning about that again and how he’s connected to the prophecy. I also loved that we got to see his family and not just be told about it via dialogue. Neville is by far one of the most loveable and interesting minor characters in the series. He has so many great moments in books 1-4, but he really shines in OOTP.

The more I write about this book, the more I find things to love. It’s just a shame that the first half lets it down, because overall, I think there’s a lot of great material here in terms of plot and character development.

3. The Chamber of Secrets

I know that The Chamber of Secrets is generally ranked low amongst most fans, but I love it. At this point, the books were more simplistic and just fun, and I like that. I also have to acknowledge that I have a deep affinity for the COS movie - I grew up watching it over and over, and of all the movies it’s still the one I know best and always come back to (still can’t believe the “Why couldn’t it be follow the butterflies line?” wasn’t even in the books!)

I love all of the different elements in this book:

Dobby

The Burrow

The flying car

Whomping Willow

Moaning Myrtle

This idiot

Gilderoy Lockhart is one of my favourite antagonists in the entire series, because he isn’t intentionally bad, he’s just an arrogant fool. His primary concern is his image and reputation and he was willing to go to any lengths to maintain it. He’s a bad person in a subtle and hilarious way.

Generally speaking, there are too many fun and entertaining moments to count in this book. I love the childish-ness of this book in comparison to the darker tone the series adopts from POA onwards. For me, COS still has the silliness and merriment that I really associate HP with. Entertainment value aside, the plot in COS is actually well executed.

As a short, concise and effective plot, Tom Riddle’s diary and the Chamber of Secrets works incredibly well. I liked the mystery and suspense of the culprit of the Muggle born attacks, and the big moments connected to it - finding out that Hagrid might be the perpetrator, Ginny being possessed by Voldemort, Hermione being petrified, Harry speaking Parceltongue. The stakes are high and this plot is strong enough to keep momentum going between the more light hearted moments.

Overall, COS is a quick, easy and fun read. It may not be the best written or complex book in the series, but I’m a huge advocate for it. Not only is it highly entertaining, but it also introduced a lot of great and important aspects to the series (Horcruxes, Tom Riddle being the heir of Slytherin, Harry being connected to Voldemort, polyjuice potion and Dobby), and built very well on what was established in PS.

2. The Half Blood Prince

The biggest surprise of this re-read was how much I bloomin’ loved Half Blood Prince. It has the perfect balance of plot, character development, mystery, humour and emotion. Out of the bigger books in the series, this was the one I finished the fastest (2 days), because it was quite literally un-put-downable (yes, that’s a word).

First, let’s talk about the plot, because wow, it’s a good ‘un. In my opinion, it’s the strongest and best written plot from any of the books. There’s Voldemort’s backstory, the development of Harry and Dumbledore’s relationship, Snape’s backstory, the mystery of the Half Blood Prince, Harry’s rivalry/suspicion of Malfoy, hunting Horcruxes and Dumbledore’s death. This book feels like an incredible pay-off for things that have been built up in the previous 5 books. We learn so much about certain characters - Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy, Voldemort, Ginny - and regardless of whether I liked those characters or not, I was invested. The clues that Snape is the Half Blood Prince are cleverly interwoven within the narrative and the mystery keeps you guessing, even when you know who it is.

The last part of this book from Chapter 26 onwards was just explosive. Although I knew what was coming, I was surprised at the level of emotion I felt when Dumbledore and Harry were in the cave and when Dumbledore died. My heart was racing and I had tears in my eyes.

This book just doesn’t let up for a second. If we aren’t learning more about Voldemort, we’re following Draco to see what he’s up to or unravelling mysteries around the Half Blood Prince or trying to get information from Slughorn about horcruxes. Even the down time is enjoyable to read in this book (Chapter 9 was one of my favourite chapters to read) and the friendships and banter are stellar.

In terms of character development, this is also one of the strongest books. Dumbledore is finally developed beyond the omnipotent Gandalf-esque archetype and we learn bout his past and his flaws.

"I have already proven to you, I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger."

The focus on Dumbledore also sets it up for his death, and you know what? It works. If we’d lost Dumbledore prior to HBP, I would’ve been shocked and upset, but losing him at this point hurts that much more because we learn so much more about him, see how important he is to Harry and how vital his guidance is in defeating Voldemort. Dumbledore’s death feels like all hope is lost, and so soon after losing Sirius it feels even harsher.

Insight into Snape’s back-story finally explains some of his motivations and actions (though it does not condone them).

Although Voldemort’s backstory doesn’t necessarily add to our understanding of him, it’s interesting to see how he came into the world, and learn about his family background. What this demonstrated most to me is that a lot of the time there is no reason for evil. Voldemort didn’t really have any motivations for what he did. Sure, he didn’t have the perfect, happy childhood but there isn’t really enough substance there to try to explain how or why he became the monster that he did.

More could’ve been done with Malfoy, but I enjoyed him having a bigger presence in this book and how the idea that family shapes who we are isn’t always true. Draco does what is expected of him from his family, but ultimately, he has his own conscience and inner turmoil that forces him to question things.

As for Harry...he goes to a dark place in this book. OOTP has always been cpnsidered as the “angsty Harry”, but HBP takes Harry to new places. Harry feels more ruthless, reckless and determined in this book than any other. There’s an underlying sense of apathy that lingers from Sirius’ death. He obsesses about his mission to extract the memory from Slughorn and his lessons with Dumbledore, and fixates on his hatred for Draco and Snape. The fact that Harry uses Sectumsempra on Draco is honestly the most alarming thing that Harry does because it shows how dark a place Harry has gone to. He knows the spell is going to inflict serious harm and yet he uses it anyway.

Generally, Harry abuses the potions book and manipulates, lies and takes advantage of almost everyone around him. I really see his dependency on that book and his choice to exploit it for his own benefit as adverse effects of the grief and trauma he endured. For once, he has the upper hand and I’d even argue that despite the Half Blood Prince being anonymous stranger to him, he relies on him as a mentor or parental figure. Yet despite it being a dark book for Harry, he also seems to get some genuine peace with Ginny. Although I’m not a Hinny shipper, it was so nice to see Harry experience some normality and contentment. No matter what he goes through, he remains kind hearted. I actually feel like this book more than any other emphasises that point - Harry could just as easily have gone down the same path as Vodlemort, but he made a choice not to.

“In spite of all the temptation you have endured, all the suffering, you remain pure of heart, just as pure as you were at the age of eleven, when you stared into a mirror that reflected your hears desire and it showed you the only way to thwart Lord Voldement, and not immortality or riches. Harry, have you any idea how few wizards could have seen what you saw in the mirror?"

Plot and character development aside, the comedy in this book is gold and I appreciate the movie (and Daniel Radcliffe) for maximising on that to create some of the best and funniest scenes in the movie franchise. Chapter 18 in particular was hilarious.

Now I have to speak about one of my favourite moments from this book:

Since GoF, Fleur was grossly mistreated and discriminated against by the Weasley’s (Molly and Ginny in particular). The way they treated her was sexist and xenophobic pure and simple. They had no reason to dislike her and all of their reasons seemed to be built on some flimsy notion that she was full of herself (why, just because she was beautiful? and even if she was, what’s wrong with confidence?!) and that she was annoying and loud because she was French. Seeing Fleur finally stand up to their bigotry was fantastic. It’s a moment I’d been waiting for for so long and I’m so glad we got it, because frankly, Molly and Ginny’s beahviour towards Fleur needed to be addressed because it was disgusting.

Overall, HBP demonstrates the strengths of HP as a series. In comparison to the other books, I don’t really have anything to crituqe I enjoyed all of it from beginning to end, which is why it almost took the top spot in this ranking.

1. The Prisoner of Azkaban

It was really close between first and second place, but Prisoner of Azkaban just managed it. This is where the HP series truly takes off and starts to shine. In comparison to what we got in PS and COS it’s richer - the plot is complex, the world building is more developed, the characters are great and it’s generally an entertaining read but with added complexity in comparison to its predecessors.

I like that POA allows us to spend so much time in Hogwarts hanging out, but that the plot comes to the forefront more. We’re all so familiar with HP at this point that it’s easy to forget the impact the plot-twists must’ve punched the first time we read them. But for me, it’d been so long since I’d read the series, that it really was like reading them for the first time and POA was one of the ones that surprised me at various points.

I’d forgot details like:

The Shrieking Shack got its name and reputation because Lupin locked himself up there during transformations; The Whomping Willow was planted to hide the secret passage to the Shrieking Shack and prevent Lupin from escaping and hurting people in his werewolf form

Crookshanks was Sirius’ ally

Sirius escaped Azkaban in his dog form

Unsurprisingly, Remus and Sirius were the highlight of this book for me. I know it’s basic but I really love them and the two of them having such a focus in this book really makes it.

Remus truly shines in this book. He’s a lovable character – a great teacher, a supportive mentor and a loyal friend. His tragic backstory only adds to his character. Snape tries to villainise Remus for being a werewolf, but the reality is that he’s a victim. He was an innocent child that was bitten by a vicious, cruel monster and has to live with the consequences of that for the rest of his life. He carries so much self-loathing, fear and insecurity because of what he is and he doesn’t deserve it. Dumbledore is the only one that separates the man from the wolf and takes Remus on his merits. He knows that Remus is a genuinely good person and a talented teacher, and he’s willing to make the necessary adjustments to enable Remus equal opportunity. Not only does it benefit Remus for Dumbledore to do this, but the students too, because let’s face it, Remus is a bloody damn good teacher.

Remus is arguably the most decent and responsible adult character in the entire HP universe. He respects Harry’s agency but also acknowledges that he’s still a child that needs protection and guidance. Instead of lying to Harry or throwing him into dangerous situations, he does perhaps the most helpful thing any adult ever does for Harry – he teaches him how to defend himself. I love that Lupin and Harry’s relationship in this book foreshadows the formation of the DA in OOTP; Lupin is the only one that teaches Harry practical DATDA skills and in the absence of Lupin as a teacher, Harry then takes on that role as a mentor and provides his friends with the skills to defend themselves.

Now we come to Sirius. Introducing Sirius as the enemy – a dangerously, mad criminal who is conspiring with Voldemort and wants Harry dead – and then revealing him to be the complete opposite was genius. Part of me wished I could completely forget so that I could experience the utter shock of finding that out for the first time. The fact that Harry saw his parents in the Mirror of Erised in PS and then finds Sirius and Lupin in this book touches my heart. Sirius is a direct link to Harry’s parents unlike anything he’s ever had. Although on the surface, their bond develops too quickly, considering that Harry is 13 years old and all he wants more than anything is to have parents and/or a connection to his parents, his quick attachment to Sirius makes sense. The thought of living with Sirius makes Harry so happy that he used it to power his patronus!!! Likewise, Sirius clings to Harry knowing that he’s the son of his best friends. He spent the entirety of his time in Azkaban knowing Harry was still out there somewhere without James and Lily and in danger from Voldemort. Immediately, Sirius provides Harry with the type of comfort about his parents that he’s never received before.

“You think the dead we have loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him. How else could you produce that particular Patronus? Prongs rode again last night.”

One of the highlights of this book is the scene where Snape catches Harry with the Marauders Map. That quote is just legendary.

"Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git. Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor. Mr Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."

Admittedly, the time travel in this book is problematic as hell. I’m grateful that Harry and Hermione were able to save Buckbeak and Sirius due to time travel, but if it was up to me, I’d remove time travel from the universe completely. It doesn’t fit, it’s too complicated and creates too many issues. McGonnagal condones the use of time travel for Hermione to attend extra lessons and yet won’t use it to tackle real, important problems, like I don’t know, war, death, disease, disasters etc. Not to mention the entire Voldemort problem and Harry becoming the Chosen One could’ve been resolved by going back to the night of James and Lily’s deaths.

One of my favourite elements of this book was seeing Ron and Hermione’s friendship with Hagrid. A lot of emphasis is placed on Harry’s friendship with Hagrid. but this book shows how devoted Ron and Hermione are to Hagrid. They both spend a lot of their time comforting him and helping him to prepare for Buckbeak’s trial.

This book has a great balance – it’s still on the shorter side but it doesn’t suffer for it. and here’s plenty of plot and character development. Ironically, whilst HBP is my favourite because of the emphasis on the main plot, POA is my favourite because it takes a break from Voldemort. It’s refreshing to take a step away from Voldemort and put the focus onto a new villain in Sirius, and then for the twist to be revealed that he’s not actually a villain but Harry’s godfather. The time-turner is the biggest draw-back in this book, but I can overlook that because there’s so much more to love in this book. It’s definitely the most re-readable book in terms of the length and plot. This book is a happy medium which incorporates the strengths from all of the other books in a smaller package than HBP - it’s fun but expands on the universe, introduces brilliant new characters and has a depth and complexity that the first two lack whilst not having the filler that books 4-7 have.

Conclusion

It’s hard to read these books without it being mingled with childhood nostalgia, so that undoubtedly informed my ranking. Despite being a children's series, the books still hold up reading them as an adult. I enjoyed rediscovering the smaller details I’d forgotten over the years and feel much closer to the universe as a result. The characters and their dynamics are by far my favourite thing about HP. I also enjoy the whimsical magic and how this is offset against the darker tone later in the series. However, in light of JKR’s hateful rhetoric, my attention was drawn to the problematic elements of the books such as the portrayal of slavery in addition to:

Lack of major/well-written characters of color

Anti-semitic caricature of goblin bankers

Cho Chang’s name (which many consider offensive), stereotypical placement in Ravenclaw (the smart house) while being the only East-Asian character in the books, and she functions almost exclusively as a love interest

Ableism all-around

Nagini, an evil snake who gets chopped in half, is actually an Asian woman according to Fantastic Beasts, making her the second of two named East Asian characters in the franchise

“Magic in North America,” a history of magic in North America published on Pottermore that grossly misappropriates and misconstrues Native American cultures

Anthony Goldstein, retconned token Jewish character, also stereotypically named

General stereotypical naming of non-Anglo-Saxon characters

Remus Lupin’s werewolf status as an AIDS metaphor while depicting his condition as making him monstrous, and the man who bit him goes around biting people for kicks

Declaring that Dumbledore is gay with exactly 0 in-canon references, and no other LGBTQ+ representation (article credit: Separating Art from Artist - Thoughts on J.K. Rowling written by Melina List on Medium)

This is the last time I will read these books, partly because I’ve outgrown them, but mostly because I can’t, without a heavy conscience ignore the relationship between JKR’s hateful views and her works. If you want to learn more about this, I’d recommend checking out a post from my_weird_bookish_heart on Instagram which explains why we couldn’t and shouldn’t ignore the problems in these books by adopting a “art is separate from the artist” mentality (if you would like the link to this please message me and I’l be happy to share it. We can all still love and enjoy HP, but we all have a moral duty to acknowledge and take responsibility for this and not feign ignorance. Views like JKR’s directly harm individuals and groups, not just in the trans community but also the Jewish and LGBTQIA+ communities and people of colour. I can’t and won’t accept that in silence. No matter how special HP was to me as a child, the lives of real humans are unquestionably more important.

Thank you for reading.

#hp #harry potter #hp books #harry potter books #hp review #hp book review #hp meta #mine #my meta #reposting from my sideblog cos i spent legit HOURS writing this and adding gifs and don't wanna lose it when i delete the blog

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jensengirl83 · 4 years

Text

In My Dreams

Dean x reader

Word count-4464

Warnings- Angst, fluff, fluffy smut, unrequited feelings.

Summary- Reader confesses her feelings to Sam. Dean overhears.

Reader’s POV

Another morning I wake up and just want to go back to sleep. Another day I must pretend that everything is ok when it’s not. At least in my dreams he loves me, he wants me as much as I want him. I have been with the Winchesters for a few years now, and it was easy at first, but now it has become miserable to be here. The boys are great, it has nothing to do with them, it is all me. I had to go and fall in love with Dean, the forever playboy who will never settle down, a terminal bachelor. So again, I wake up and put on my fake smile and go through the motions, the hunts, the long nights of research in the library. I won’t leave them, it’s no one’s fault but my own, but it is getting so much harder to keep my feelings hidden from Dean. I think Sam knows, but he will never tell, he would never betray my trust that way. Sam and I have become close, the younger brother I always wanted. I’m close to Dean as well, all three of us tell each other everything, well, everything but my true feelings for the oldest Winchester. I can’t risk ruining what he have, a family, I would never want to ruin that for them. I finally decide to quit moping and get out of bed, as much as I want to stay in dreamland, I have responsibilities.

“Morning Sam. You make coffee?” I inquire as I make my way into the bunker’s kitchen.

“Of course, Y/n, when have I ever not had coffee waiting on you and Dean? I know better than to not have you both caffeinated. I don’t have a death wish!” Sam says derisively.

“Alright Sam, we’re not that bad, you smart ass.” I chuckle as I pour a cup of coffee. “Well, maybe Dean is but I’m not.”

“Who are you kidding Y/N/N? I’m surprised you even know how to put a coherent sentence together before you have your coffee.” Sam is laughing but I scowl at him.

“Well someone is asking to get their ass kicked early this morning.” I say faking seriousness.

“Sure Y/n, whatever you say.” He is rolling his eyes but the smile on his face shows his enjoyment of our morning banter.

“Dean still asleep?” He is usually up by now.

“He got in late last night, he went to the bar after you went to bed.” My heart sinks. I know what that means. Sam looks at me with a look that almost seems sympathetic, making me think even more that he has suspicions on how I feel about his brother. I just nod my head and go back to my coffee, hoping that concentrating on my drink will keep the tears that are building in my eyes from falling. Every time Dean goes out my heart breaks just a little more, wishing I were the one he wanted, the one who could make him happy. My mind drifts off again back to my dream, cuddled up to his side, his arms around me. I used to only dream of him every now and then, it’s almost every night now, like my brain is trying to punish me.

“Morning Sam, Morning lil’ bit.” Dean says as he ruffles my hair on his way to get his coffee. His nickname for me, because of my vertical impairment, used to make me smile. Now it just drives a knife into my chest, knowing he will only ever see me as his short friend.

“Any new cases?” Dean is asking Sam as he sits down beside me at the table. Out of all the seats at this big ass table, why does he have to sit right next to me. What have I done that the fates seem to like to torture me?

“Nope, seems like we have a day off. Good day to get some things caught up around here.” Sam is smiling until he sees the look on my face. “You alright Y/n?” Thank you, Sam, for drawing the attention to me, I honestly want to choke him right now.

“I’m fine Sam, just thinking about all the laundry that has piled up.” I do not want to do the laundry, but that has nothing to do with the look on my face. Another day stuck in the bunker is a lot harder than being on a hunt. At least on a hunt, I can keep my mind occupied enough not to think about him constantly.

“I’ll help you after I clean Baby up, Y/n.” Dean smiling at me like that is making harder to be in here.

“No thanks, I got it.” I jump up from the table, coffee in hand, heading to my room. I couldn’t take it any longer, him being that close to me, his smell driving me insane, those mossy green eyes looking into mine, his body heat radiating on to me, I had to get out of there. I make it to my room and lock my door, hoping I can calm down before I have to face him again. I run my hand down my face to realize there are tears staining my cheeks. When did I start crying? I lie down and put my face in my pillow and let it all out, the sobs wracking my body. I don’t know how long I’ve been in here throwing myself a pity party, when someone knocks on my door, making me freeze. I cannot face them right now; I can’t explain the tears without ruining everything. I stay silent hoping they will just go away, closing my eyes trying to compose myself, when I feel a dip in the mattress.

“Y/n what’s going on, and don’t tell me nothing, I know better.” Sam’s voice breaking the silence.

“How did you get in here?” I know he can hear the annoyance in my voice.

“I picked the lock.” Of course, he picked the lock. “Now tell me what’s wrong, because I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

“I can’t Sam, it will ruin everything.” My voice cracking from all the emotions coursing through me.

“No, it won’t Y/n, I promise I won’t judge, and I’ll keep it to myself if that’s what you want.” The worry on his face is breaking my resolve. What could it really hurt to tell Sam?

“I can’t do it anymore Sam, I don’t want to wake up, I just want to stay asleep forever.” My sobs starting up again.

“What are you talking about Y/n? We need you; You can’t leave us like that.” The emotion in his voice making me realize how he took what I said.

“That’s not what I mean Sam, I want to stay in my dreams, that’s the only place I’m happy.”

“Why Y/n? Don’t we make you happy anymore?” I swore I heard footsteps in the hallway.

“Because in my dreams he loves me Sam! He wants me like I want him, the kisses, the sweet touches, he wants them as much I do. I used to love the mornings, the songbirds singing, the beautiful colors of the morning sky. Now, they just remind me of what I will never have!” I am now pacing my room, the tears a steady flow down my face.

“Y/n….”

“Don’t Sam, you don’t have to say it, I know he’ll never want me. Why can’t I be happy Sam? Why couldn’t I fall in love with someone who would love me too? All I want is for the stars to always shine so I can feel his love for me, his body next to mine, arms wrapped around me.” I feel Sam’s arms wrap me up in a hug, my body a trembling mess.

“Tell him Y/n, don’t keep this to yourself.” Sam’s hand on my head holding me to his chest feels comforting, but it’s not his arms I want around me.

“I can’t Sam, if I tell him I have to leave. I could not handle the rejection and the looks of pity every time he looked at me. Things could never be like they are now if I tell him.”

“You need to tell him; you might be surprised at what he has to say.” I can’t help but laugh.

“Seriously Sam? He would never want me; I am nothing like his bar conquests. I am short with too much weight around the middle, my hips, my thighs. I do not even compare to what he wants.”

“How do you know what he wants unless you talk to him?” I sigh in frustration, I know he is trying to help, but he will never completely understand.

“I’m sorry Sam, I just can’t. I’ll be ok, I just needed to get it off my chest.” I smile at him hoping this conversation is over.

“Alright Y/n, but I still think you should tell him.” Sam place a kiss on top of my head, giving me one last squeeze, before he leaves and shuts the door behind him.

Dean’s POV

I stand in the hallway; I know a look of shock plastered on my face. I didn’t’ mean to eavesdrop on Y/n and Sammy’s conversation, but I couldn’t walk away when I heard her voice, riddled with pain and sobs. I had to stop myself from rushing in her room, wrapping her in my arms, way too many times to count. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t’ hear Sammy leave her room, the next thing I know I’m landing on my ass.

“What the hell Dean!” Sam is whispering but I can hear the annoyance loud and clear. “Were you listening to our conversation?”

“Not on purpose, I was walking by and heard Y/n upset and stopped to see if she was ok. Once I realized what she was talking about, I couldn’t bring myself to move.” No use to lying to him.

“Library, NOW!” I know he’s mad, but I really couldn’t help it. Hearing her say she loves me, that she wants me, froze me to my spot. Sam stomps past me heading for the library. “Not going to help me up?” I say as Sam glares at me and keeps walking. “Guess not.” I stand and follow Sam preparing for the onslaught that is to come. Rounding the corner into the library, my foot is barely in the room when it starts.

“How could you Dean? She was telling me those things in confidence.”

“I’m sorry Sammy, I really didn’t mean to listen, but when I heard her saying she loves me, I couldn’t stop myself.” Sam’s bitch face is on point today.

“And why is that Dean? Couldn’t pass up hearing another woman saying how great you are? Y/n is not another one of your bar groupies Dean. If you think for one second I’m going to let her be another notch in your belt…..”

“Whoa Sammy, that’s enough!” I can’t keep from raising my voice. “You really think that low of me? You think I would take advantage of her like that?”

“Why other reason would you want to keep listening to her talk about how she feels about you Dean?” Sam’s voice is still harsh but not as angry as earlier.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I may like her too Sammy?” The uncertainty on his face has me a little confused.

“Really Dean? Is that why you go home with those girls all the time? You have a funny way of showing her you like her.”

“You want to know what I’ve been doing Sam? All those nights you think I have been screwing some random chick, I have been at the bar drinking myself stupid. Know why? Because I can’t hardly stand to be here anymore. I see her, and all I can think is how much I want her to be mine, how bad I want to be the man she deserves, a man she would want to be with. I have been in love with her for a long time Sammy, and hearing her say that she loved me, yeah, sorry I couldn’t bring myself to walk away from what I have been longing to hear.” It scares the hell out me to say it out loud. I am scared of her being a target by being with me, but I can’t resist anymore. Hearing she feels the same way has broken any chance of me being able to stay away from her.

“Then why the hell are you still standing here talking to me Dean? You need to go tell her.” A smile finally on Sammy’s face. It only takes me a second to move, I turn on my heels heading for her room. I have to tell her, knowing she’s in her room, heartbroken, thinking I don’t want her, that I don’t think she’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, is killing me. I don’t even think to knock, heading straight into her room.

“What the hell Dean? Ever heard of knocking?” She’s trying to hide her face, doesn’t want me to see she’s been crying.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I wasn’t thinking. I was in a hurry to come talk to you.” Even with tear stained and red rimmed eyes, she is so damn beautiful.

“I don’t really feel like talking right now Dean. I just want to go to sleep.”

“So you can go back to your dreams?” She whips around so fast I’m afraid she gave herself whiplash.

“What did you just say?” she looks absolutely horrified. Great, this is going well.

“Uhh...I might have accidentally overheard your conversation with Sammy earlier.” She is off her bed in record speed, grabbing her duffel bag out of the closet.

“What are you doing Y/n?” She doesn’t even stop to look at me. “We don’t have hunt, there is no reason to be packing.”

“I am not packing for a hunt Dean, I’m leaving.” My heart drops, she can’t leave.

“Stop Y/n, you can’t leave. Just listen to me please.” I am starting to shake; I can’t lose her now.

“No Dean, I can’t stay. You heard what I said, things can never go back to the way the were now. I can’t take the awkwardness, the looks of pity. Poor Y/n, she loves Dean, but he doesn’t love her. I have to go.” I can hear the tears and heartbreak in her voice. I have to say something, make her listen.

“I want to stay in my dreams too sweetheart.” She freezes, turning around, the look on her face would scare the biggest bad we have ever fought.

“Don’t you dare fucking patronize me! I poured my heart out to Sam. You weren’t even supposed to hear it, now you come in here making fun of me?” I slowly make my way over to her, putting my hands on her shoulders.

“I want to stay in my dreams sweetheart because in my dreams you love me, you want me like I want you, you in my bed next to me, your kisses, your touch making me feel alive. I love you. I have for a while, I was too scared to say it, but hearing you say you love me, I had to tell you I feel the same.”

“You were just out with a woman last night Dean! How can you come in here and tell me you want me not twenty-four hours after you were in someone else’s bed?” The pure heartbreak in her voice has me tearing up. I can’t believe how stupid I have been, hurting her because I was a coward.

“No baby, all those nights I have been out, I was at the bar, but no women. I have not actually been with a woman in months. I had to get out to keep from losing my mind, Y/n. Being here with you, wanting to be yours, you mine, it was killing me.” I raise my hands to cup her cheeks, brushing her tears away with my thumbs. My own tears starting to break free and slip down my face. “Please stay Y/n, I want you, all of you. You are the most amazing, sexy, bad ass, beautiful woman, sweetheart. You bring a light into my life that casts out the darkness that wants to swallow me whole. You make me want to be better, do better. You’re right, you don’t compare to those women in the bars, you are so much more than they could ever be.” I lean my forehead against hers, tears freely streaming down both our faces now.

“Dean….” I know she still doesn’t wholly believe me. I lean in to place a kiss to her soft lips, putting everything I have into it, hoping to show her how much I mean every word that I said. She hesitates but finally kisses me back, her arms coming up to wrap around my shoulders. The kiss is like nothing I have ever felt before, my heart swelling in my chest with all the emotions of finally having her in my arms, her lips on mine. I tilt my head to deepen the kiss, licking my tongue to ask for entrance. The small moan that leaves her going straight to my cock. I grab her by the hips, pulling her into me, the need to feel her body against mine overriding all my senses. She reaches up to grab the hair at the base of my neck, her nails scratching softly, making me moan into her mouth. The small gasp that leaves her letting me know that she’s as turned on as I am. I grab her by the thighs and throw her up to wrap her legs around me, needing to get her to the bed, my need to feel her, pleasure her, so overwhelming.

“Dean, put me down, I’m too heavy!” I continue to walk her over and lay her down, standing to look at her, the love I feel for this woman is amazing. I grab the hem of my T-shirt and pull it over my head, throwing it to the corner, kicking off my pajama pants to join the shirt. I rub my hand on my hard cock through my boxers, watching her squirm as she watches me.

“You are so damn beautiful, Y/n” I don’t give her a chance to respond. I lie down next to her, covering her mouth with mine. Running my hands down her body, feeling her curves, so happy I can finally feel her. I break the kiss long enough to pull her shirt over her head, moaning when I see she isn’t wearing a bra. Her hands fly to cover herself, the pink on her cheeks showing me she is self-conscious. I’ll never understand why she thinks so low of herself. If she only knew how crazy she makes me, how much she turns me on.

“Don’t cover yourself baby, I love your body, it’s beautiful.” I start to place kisses down her jaw, making my way to her collarbone. I want to cherish every inch of her.

“Dean, I don’t look like the women you are used to being with.” Her voice is barely a whisper.

“You’re right sweetheart, you don’t. You are so much better. I never loved them Y/n, I love you, no woman will ever be as sexy to me as you are.” I place soft sweet kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, her chin. I want to see herself as I see her.

“Show me then Dean, show me how beautiful you think I am.” The way she is looking at me, the lust in her eyes, I can’t hold back anymore.

“If I do something you don’t want baby, you have to tell me ok?” I need her to know there’s no pressure, to know I would never want her to be uncomfortable. She just nods her head, her bottom lip between her teeth. I slide my hand down her body, taking in every sound she makes, learning her body what makes her feel good. I reach her pajama shorts, sliding my hand under the elastic, on my way to her core. The thought of feeling her wrapped around me making my cock twitch.

Reader’s POV

The way Dean is looking at me is sending heat straight to my core, the want in his eyes driving me crazy. He slowly slides his hand into my folds, circling my clit, making me push my hips into his hand. His lips crash into mine, all teeth and tongues, the need we both feel becoming too much.

“Please Dean…..” I need to feel more, aching to feel him inside me.

“I know baby, have to get you ready first.” His voice deep, raspy with want, making me clench around nothing. His hand slides down to sink two fingers in my heat. The sensation making me arch my back, unashamed of the moan that leaves me. His fingers are big, sliding in and out of pussy, already bringing me close to the edge.

“Oh God, Dean, faster!” I have never had a man make me feel this good with just his fingers. Just as I am on the verge of my release, he pulls his fingers away, making me whine at the loss.

“I have to taste you sweetheart, been on my mind for so long.” Before I can say anything, my shorts are gone, along with my panties. My breath catches as he licks a long stripe through my folds, his moan sending vibrations to my clit. He starts with kitten licks, gradually getting faster. I run my hands through his soft brown locks, pulling just slightly, moving his face deeper into my heat. He groans and starts eating me like a man starved, bringing me right back to the edge.

“Dean…Dean..I’m going to come, please don’t stop.” I can feel the coil in my lower belly winding tight, ready to snap.

“Mmm you taste so good baby, come for me.” He thrusts two fingers in my cunt, and I am gone. I come with a scream of his name, clamping my thighs on his ears, grinding my pussy in his face. I start to come down from my high, letting my legs fall to the bed, too weak to keep them up.

“Damn baby girl, I thought you were going to smother me, what a way to go.” He winks up at me, my slick covering his mouth and chin. The sight just making me want him even more.

“Dean, I need you….” My voice a light whisper, still trying to catch my breath.

“Anything for my girl.” My girl, those words bringing a smile to my face. How long I have wanted to be his girl, and now it’s happening. Dean moves to cover my body with his, his arms by my head caging me in. I look into his eyes, the love I see taking my breath away. I pull his face to mine, kissing him slow and deep, trying to show him what I am feeling. We break apart, the need for air winning.

“You ready sweetheart?” Dean asks as he lays his forehead to mine, placing soft pecks on my lips.

“Yes Dean, I have been ready for this for a long time.” He smiles down at me, lining himself up at my entrance. He moves his hips to slowly slide inside me, the feeling of me stretching to accommodate his size burns but also feels so damn good.

“God damn baby, you’re so tight. I won’t be able to last that long.” Dean is panting into my neck, his breath in my ear, causing a shiver to shoot down my spine, my pussy clenching around him. We both groan at the sensation. I can feel his cock throbbing inside me, making me grind my hips up to get him to move.

“Please Dean…move!” He starts to slide out, only his tip remaining, before sliding back in just as slow, keeping the slow rhythm as we cling to each other. His full weight is on me, his arms wrapped around my shoulders, our faces merely inches apart. Neither of us dare to look anywhere but in each other’s eyes. The intensity of the intimacy between us pushing me so close to an orgasm already. I never thought I would see Dean “no chick flick moments” Winchester, being so loving, tender, making love to me. My emotions are making my eyes brim with tears. I have dreamed of having Dean like this for so long, my dreams nothing close to this. I pull myself from my thoughts to look back up at him, his eyes shining, a small smile on his face.

“I could never have imagined that this would be so amazing, Y/n. I love you so much sweetheart.”

“I love you Dean, so so much.” I crash my mouth to his, feeling my self so close to my end.

“Come for me baby. I can feel you’re close, right behind you.” Dean’s voice is breathless, his movements becoming more erratic. I reach between our bodies to rub my clit, not taking but just a few circles, my orgasm hitting me.

“Dean! I’m coming, come with me baby.” I am a writhing mess beneath him, coming harder than I ever have. Dean drops his face in my neck and comes with a loud groan of my name, still thrusting to ride us both through our high. Dean doesn’t make an effort to move, his arms still wrapped around me and his face still in my neck, peppering sweet kisses moving up to my face.

“I meant everything I said, Y/n. You are it for me if you will have me.” His voice soft with a hint of worry. I can’t help but smile.

“You already have me Dean. I’ve been yours for a long time.” Dean presses a kiss to my forehead as he moves to get off the bed, walking into the bathroom. He comes back with a washcloth, sitting beside me to clean me up. He throws it in the corner before climbing in bed behind me, his chest against my back.

“How about we get some sleep sweetheart. I’m exhausted.”

“Sounds good to me. I love you Dean.”

“I love you Y/n. When we wake up, we will be here together, not just in my dreams.”

Dean is already snoring behind me. I intertwine my fingers with his, thinking about how this is all so much better than I could have imagined, better than anything in my dreams.

#dean x reader #dean winchester #spn fanfiction #reader insert #smut #fluff #angst #supernatural

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