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#she's so hot and mean and wears glasses 🤤
royalarmyofoz · 1 year
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gonna watch some gasteyer today cos im in a mood💕
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wormswurld · 4 months
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rewatched saltburn for the 5th time today so here are my rewatch thoughts! 🌟
- opening shot ollie is smoking a cigarette meaning that after all these years of felix being dead he still holds onto the habit felix bestowed upon him: smoking. (there will always be traces of felix catton throughout ollie’s life…)
- ollie saying how exhausted felix was cuz of how often he was chased and adored by ppl is literally just him projecting & being annoyed that felix wasn’t his from the beginning
- “but was i “in love” with him?” yes. yes you were. yes you are. yes.
- ollie looking like such a fucking nerd when arriving at oxford. like boy if you don’t take THAT DAMN SCARF OFF i swear to god
- ollie looks so good with glasses ughhhhhhh
- the way ollie says “meryside” 🤤
- i will never get over farleigh’s voice like it’s so perfect
- as much as i hate michael gavey i will always quote his “NFI me and you…not fucking invited” line
- ollie is rizzing the shit out of felix with his blue eyes during the bike scene and i’ll always respect him for that
- the way farleigh says “jägerbombs!” is so satisfying
- i love ollie’s slutty little chain he wears
- felix amica. felix amica. felix amica. felix amica. felix amica. felix amica.
- ollie & felix look so happy dancing together 😭
- felix having his hand on ollie’s thigh as he does eenie meanie makes my brain short circuit
- “was it awful?” my god felix really is like elspeth
- this modern love playing as ollie finds felix at the pub surrounded by all his friends and the lyrics that play are “what are you holding out for? what’s always in the way?” UGH.
- felix being the first person ollie sees when he comes out of the exams 😭😭😭
- felix could have so kissed ollie during the bridge confession scene
- duncan scaring the shit out of ollie when he first arrives at saltburn makes me laugh so much i love him
- the way the sunlight accentuates felix’s torso through his linen shirt makes my head spin
- felix definitely made ollie & him share a bathroom on purpose
- “darling you’re kind about everyone” NO HE IS NOT. FELIX IS NOT KIND.
- pamela’s jewelry is to die for
- “so i hope you didn’t pack anything scandalous” DO YOU WANT HIM TO FELIX?????
- ollie giving venetia his blanket under the guise of “oh you must be cold here’s this” is so funny because i know he did that on purpose due to him knowing how venetia feels about him
- i love how emerald made ollie having a big dick canon lmao
- all of them watching the ring is so cute
- ollie sleeping as him and felix lounge by the pool together 😭
- ollie eye fucking felix as he sucks on an ice pop is so real
- LOOOVE farleigh’s “dump him” shirt
- felix giggling as he has ollie on his knees drinking wine is so cute
- the way ollie inhales shakily as he watches felix get off is so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
- i absolutely love how eager ollie is when he licks felix’s cum from the drain like ohhhhhhhhhh…..
- also ollie softly moaning as he does it my god sedate me
- i will never get over how ollie practically puts his whole fist in venetia’s mouth + smears the blood all over her mouth and chest
- farleigh playing fuck, chuck, or marry with the kings is literally just an opportunity for him to tell oliver he would fuck him + to also read ollie as an insecure parasite that only lives for getting what he wants & obviously ollie picks up on it
- ollie crying after felix scolds him about lying is so sad my god that boy was heartbroken
- farleigh telling ollie “try harder next time baby” is so hot FUCK
- the transition from ollie blowing out his candles to the song lonliness is probably one of the best transitions in media ever
- “i just need you to understand how much i fucking love you” MY HEART IS BREAKING.
- felix would so have kissed ollie in the maze if he wasn’t shoved away
- elspeth’s sob when she finds felix dead is one of the most earth shattering things i’ve ever heard especially accompanied with the swell of the orchestra it is absolutely gut wrenching
- the grave scene is so beautifully shot it makes me cry poor ollie just wanted to be close to his felix one more time
- seeing ollie dance naked around the house is just so freeing and !!!!!!
thats all my silly little commentary, thank you for reading my word vomit 🤗
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nicoline1998enilocin · 7 months
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Have you ever seen the photos of RDJ at the premiere of the first avengers film where he is wearing a sexy purple suit? And he's wearing a very nice glasses, his hair is perfect, he's so f*cking hot and delicious and omg my brain melts just imagining... If it's okay with you, I'd like to request a one shot where the reader is his wife and when she sees him dressed in that suit, she goes crazy and very very very horny and when they get home after the premiere, she takes that suit off his delicious body very sensually and teasing him a lot, so he takes control and f*cks his beloved wife senseless... with aftercare please and reader pulling that perfect hair and scratching his back 🖤❤️‍🔥 maybe even a babymaking
Passion wrapped in purple
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Pairing | Husband!Robert Downey Jr. x Wife!Female!Reader
Word count | 4K
Summary | Robert has taken you to a movie premiere, but you two couldn't keep your hands off one another the entire night. You two go home early, and after some more teasing, something inside Robert snaps. He's determined to pull as much pleasure from your body as possible, and you're not one to deny him that.
Warning(s) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. RPF, established relationship (husband and wife), unspecified age gap, porn with minimal plot, use of pet names (Kitten, Daddy), smut (daddy kink, breeding kink, lots of praise/praise kink, teasing, hair pulling, dry humping, oral (F&M receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), aftercare), multiple mentions of pregnancy.
A/n | Thank you for this amazing request, Nonnie! I had not seen it before your request, but after doing some research, I can totally see what you mean 🤤 I feel like this is one of the hottest, smuttiest pieces I've written for Robert so far, so I hope you enjoy the route I took with this one 🔥🖤
Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💚
Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | GIF-credit goes to @duckbuttt
Main Masterlist | Robert Downey Jr. Masterlist
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You're at the premiere of Robert's latest movie, and he's wearing a purple suit that takes your breath away while you're dressed in a perfectly fitting long black dress.
You haven't been able to keep your hands off him for the entire evening, though the same goes for him. The whole time you two were posing for photos, his hand rested on your hip or your ass.
''Are you having fun so far, Kitten?'' Robert asks, and your breath hitches as you realize what he's doing right now. He only calls you Kitten during sex, and you can feel the arousal pooling in your panties.
''Of course, Daddy,'' you say to get him back for his comment, though it doesn't seem to faze him. You couldn't be more wrong in this, however, because he can feel his dick twitch in his pants, and he has to try his hardest not to get hard right now.
During the rest of the premiere, you two keep teasing each other like that, but as soon as every interview is done, you two are on your way home and just about ready to rip each other's clothes off.
The drive to your home is way too long for both of your likings, so you have found your way onto Robert's lap in the back of his car. You're glad that your chauffeur is driving you two home because you can't keep your hands off each other, even if you want to.
''Hmm, you like riding me like this, don't you, Kitten? Yeah? Already so desperate for this cock you can't until we're home, huh? Such a gorgeous cockslut for me,'' Robert whispers in your ear as you keep grinding on his lap, his hard cock feeling delicious against your soaked cunt.
''Yes, Daddy, 'm your cockslut,'' you moan out as his hands squeeze your ass, your head thrown back as his lips find your neck and leave a trail of kisses until he effortlessly finds your sweet spot.
''Oh, Daddy!'' you can't control yourself as you moan uncontrollably, entirely under his spell of pleasure while his hands wander over your body, leaving goosebumps everywhere.
You've always had a thing for older, more experienced men, and when you met Robert, you were absolutely over the moon. Over the years, he taught you everything you know about your body, and he can play you like an instrument to make you feel nothing but intense pleasure.
When you two finally arrived home, he wanted to make you wait. Make you work for everything he's planning on giving to you.
He starts by undressing you ever so slowly, making you go crazy because he would not touch you anywhere you needed him so badly, but instead teasing you to no end.
''Patience, Kitten. Otherwise, I won't let you cum at all this evening,'' he said warningly when you let out one of many soft whines, hoping he would just give you what you so desperately wanted.
''Sorry, Daddy,'' you said, and you turned your gaze away from him, not wanting to look at him after he scolded you. You couldn't help but lean into his touch when you felt his hand on your cheek.
''It's okay, Kitten. I know you get a little impatient sometimes,'' he says in a low whisper, and all you can do is nod while you let Robert's touch glide over your body again, and goosebumps form everywhere; his fingers move delicately over your soft skin.
When every last piece of fabric adorning your body has met its faith on the floor, he turns you around and places his index finger under your chin, lifting it so your eyes meet his dark brown ones.
''Good girl,'' he whispers before leaning in for a kiss, and your thighs are clenching together to give yourself a little friction at the words. Robert knows you and your body like the back of his hand and knows exactly what to say at the right moments to get you aroused beyond belief.
His tongue slips past your lips effortlessly, and your hands wander over your husband's abdomen and chest, feeling every ridge and muscle underneath you've known and loved over the years.
Your long, slender fingers slide to the knot on this tie, and you undo it in a single, swift motion before pulling it off his neck and letting it fall to the floor while not leaving his lips for even a second.
Next is the purple suit jacket, and your hands glide underneath the fabric before sliding down his shoulders and arms, letting your nails rake softly over his biceps as they meet their inevitable faith on the floor.
When your fingers move to the buttons of his matching purple vest, you can tell he's getting a little impatient, but if you had to be patient for him, he would have to be patient with you as well.
''Don't tease me, Kitten,'' he growls lowly, and you can't help but let out a little smile.
''But Daddy, you said you wanted me to take control occasionally, right? That's precisely what I'm doing. I had to be patient for you, so now I'm doing the same with you until you can fuck me into the mattress like I know you so desperately want to do,'' you say with an innocent smile, and Robert feels his cock twitch in his pants.
He nods in response, and you move to undo the buttons of his vest before taking it off and letting it land on the floor alongside his suit jacket; you could always pick them up later.
When your fingers unbuttoned every button on his shirt, your lips moved after each one that opened, kissing the skin you had just exposed as you were on your way down.
You softly groan when you see his chest and the dark hair covering it that has you going feral each time. If there's one thing about your husband that you love, it's that he's a hairy man, and you love running your fingers over and through his hair.
As soon as all the buttons are open, you pull the shirt off his shoulders, and your hands glide over his biceps, chuckling softly when he flexes them for you.
Next are his pants, and you undo the belt with ease before pulling it out of the loops, your fingers opening his button and zipper slowly, letting your fingers rub over the fabric that protects his very hard bulge.
''Fuck, feels so good, Kitten,'' Robert groans after you've pulled down his pants, now palming him through his extremely tight boxer briefs.
''Can I have a taste, Daddy?'' you ask as you look up at him, and the smirk plastered on Robert's face is all you need to know before pulling his underwear down and out the way, letting him step out of them before tossing it aside as well.
You're admiring your husband's naked body for a few seconds as your gaze rakes over every dip, curve, and ridge, but not too long.
His thick, veiny cock is standing at attention for you, and he's already leaking pre-cum, which you happily lap up before wrapping your hand around the base of him, your other hand cupping his balls and squeezing ever so gently.
The moan leaving his lips is near pornographic, and you can't help but feel a flood of arousal between your legs, and your cunt is throbbing with need for your husband.
You decide not to tease him any longer, and your mouth envelops his tip as you suckle softly, and his fingers weave into your hair to ground himself a little bit.
''Hmm, you enjoy sucking my cock, don't you? My little cockslut,'' Robert says, and you moan softly around him before taking more of his length into your mouth and sucking your cheeks in, and your tongue lays flat against the underside of his cock.
When you find a steady rhythm, you keep bobbing your head back and forth, doing everything Robert loves until his groans and grunts get louder, and you keep playing with his balls until you feel he's about to cum.
''Cum in my throat, Daddy, wanna swallow it all,'' you say after you pop off, but your hand keeps pumping him slowly to keep him on the edge.
''Like I was planning on doing anything else,'' he says. You take him into your mouth again, taking him as far as you can, repeating this process a few times until Robert takes over the pace and starts fucking your face until he shoots his cum deep in your throat, making you swallow every last drop.
''Oh god, Kitten, just like that. Swallow it all for Daddy!'' he shouts out as he cums, trembling from the force of his orgasm, making you nothing but proud as he praises you like this.
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Robert has you sitting on your hands and knees in the middle of the bed as he's eating you out from behind with such passion that you'd think he hasn't eaten anything in weeks.
Your face is smushed into the bed sheets; your arms have given out a while ago, somewhere around when he pulled your second orgasm from you.
''D-Daddy! Gonna cum!'' you mewl out; his mouth attaches to your clit, which is puffy and drenched in your slick, but Robert is still licking every single drop you give him.
Your thighs and legs are trembling beyond belief, but the pleasure you feel is so incredible that you don't want him to stop, and it appears that he isn't planning on stopping any time soon, either.
As soon as your third orgasm washes over you with even more power than the last, Robert has to hold you up by your hips; otherwise, you will collapse, and the moans leaving your chest will be out of control, just like Robert wants you to be.
You and Robert have explored the feeling of giving up control of your pleasure like this many times over the years, and you two have perfected it exactly to both your tastes.
''D-Daddy, please,'' you choke out as his fingers find your entrance again, setting a brutal pace until your cunt is sore from all the stimulation, but it feels too good to make him stop, and you let him drag one last orgasm out of you with his fingers.
''You're doing so well for me, Kitten. Just look at how well this sweet pussy is taking everything I give her,'' Robert says as you're coming down from your high, but there isn't much time to come down.
Before you can even comprehend what's happening, Robert has you lying on your back, your body almost folded in half as he slides his cock into your tight cunt, after growing back to total hardness again.
You gasp as he breaches your entrance, and despite having the amount of sex that the two of you have, it's still a stretch each time, which is precisely why Robert wants to see your face. Something about how your face contorts with pure pleasure makes him feel soaring, especially when he's making love to you.
''Fucking hell, Kitten, such a tight pussy for me to love, huh? She always takes me perfectly,'' Robert whispers as he leans down, your hands sliding over his neck and into his hair.
When he's slid in up to the hilt, he lets you adjust for a bit because hurting you would be the last thing on his mind.
''Ready, Kitten?'' he asks so softly that it feels like you're melting into the mattress, and when you nod, he places his lips on yours as he starts pulling out and thrusting back in, his tip hitting your sweet spot deliciously.
After a few more slow thrusts, he picks up the pace just enough to have your back arching off the bed, and the grip on his hair tightens as you're taken over by nothing but pure pleasure.
''Daddy!'' is all you can say as he chases both your highs, and when you're getting close, you let go of his hair, opting to wrap your arms and legs around him instead of pulling him as close to your body as possible.
Robert grunts and groans as he looks at the way pleasure takes over your face, and a loud fuck escapes his lips as your long nails press into his shoulder blades and rake down, leaving a long trail of red marks that only spur Robert on further.
''Can't wait to fill up this sweet cunt with my cum, Kitten. Going to get you so fucking pregnant for me; going to be a real Daddy soon,'' he tells you between groans and pants, and he's getting impossibly hard as he gets closer to his orgasm.
''D-Daddy, need to cum!'' you say, but he doesn't let you just yet.
''Hold on, Kitten, 'm almost there. Want you to cum with me,'' he says, and you nod, though you're not sure you can with the way he keeps pounding into you, hitting your sweet spot repeatedly.
It doesn't take long for Robert to reach his high, and his thumb has found its place on your clit, making you fall apart as you're clawing along his back, only adding to the ridiculous amount of scratches you've left, but Robert doesn't mind in the slightest.
''My good fuckin' girl 's what you are, Kitten, making me cum so much it's leaking out of you,'' he says as he pulls out, but instead of leaving it, he pushes it back in with his fingers to ensure it'll stay in.
''Can't wait 'til you pregnant for me, Kitten. All round and perfect, letting me drink from your tits as they drip with milk for me,'' Robert says, and all you can do is lay there with a dopey smile on your face.
''I'll clean you up, get you some fruit and water, okay? Don't want you to slip into a bad headspace after all,'' he whispers between soft kisses all over your body, soft grazings of his fingers on the inches of skin his mouth can't reach.
''Y-yes,'' you whisper, and Robert gets up to get a warm washcloth to clean both of you up, making sure to be careful with your sensitive cunt after everything he did to pull the orgasms from your body.
Then he walks to the kitchen to grab some grapes and two bottles of water before heading back to you, and you're still lying in the same position where he left you. You're too tired to move and too sore as well.
''Let me grab you a shirt and some underwear, Gorgeous,'' he says, and you didn't miss the switch of nicknames just now. It notified you that the ''atmosphere'' you two were just in is over, and he will take the best care of you.
He grabs one of his shirts that's always way too big for you and a pair of comfortable cotton panties since that's what you usually prefer after an intense session like you just had.
''Can you sit up for me, Gorgeous?'' he asks, and with Robert's help, you manage to sit up despite your body still feeling like cooked noodles.
The shirt is slid over your head and body with minimal effort, and your panties are also on within no time; when Robert has changed into a pair of sweatpants, he takes his place on the bed.
With his help, you get situated sideways on his lap, your legs stretched in front of you and your head against his shoulder, his left arm protectively wrapped around your waist.
''Here, have a grape or two,'' he says, and you let him feed you the grape, the flavor exploding in your mouth as you pierce the skin with your teeth. They're fresh from the fridge, so the cold feeling contrasts Robert's warmth enveloping you.
''Can I have some water?'' you ask, and Robert screws the top off the water bottle before handing you the bottle, and you take a few sips to hydrate yourself. You're slowly getting some of your strength back, and the cuddles with your husband are always an excellent addition.
''I love you so much,'' you say as you hand the now half-empty bottle back, and he closes it before putting it on the nightstand for later.
''I love you too, Gorgeous,'' he says as he places a few soft, loving kisses on your lips that set your insides on fire. The sweet, gentle side of Robert is the part you fell for years ago, and it still manages to warm you from the inside out.
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About five months later, you find out you're pregnant after taking a test. Your cycle is like clockwork, so when you were late, it spiked some confusion, though your mind immediately went to the possibility of being pregnant.
You and Robert haven't been actively trying to conceive, but you two have also decided that if it ever does happen, you would welcome the little one into your lives.
And now here you are, on the toilet of your home, but your husband is away to film for yet another Marvel movie. Your first instinct is to call him, but you decide against it instead of going to a doctor first to ensure it's true.
That's exactly how you found yourself in a gynecologist's office in your usual hospital, waiting for the test results. The outcome wasn't a surprise, and they confirmed that you're about 1.5 months pregnant, so it's still very early.
''Do you have anyone who we can call about this? Your partner or a family member?'' the gynecologist asks, but you shake your head.
''My husband is away to film a movie for a few more months, so I am going to tell him the news in person, it's not something I want to do over the phone,'' you say with a small smile.
A week later, you're getting ready to see your husband and tell him the good news about your pregnancy. You're dressed in a casual outfit to not attract too much attention to yourself.
You may not be an actor yourself, but as the wife of someone with a high-profile life like Robert's, most people still know who you are. The drive to the movie set is pretty decent, but you're getting increasingly nervous when you park your car.
You rest your hand on your belly, although you won't show for another few months. You know there's a little life growing inside you, and you can't wait to tell Robert about it so you don't have to carry this secret alone.
After a few deep breaths, you decide to get out of your car and go onto set after getting a visitor's pass, and before you even get to set, you happen to run into Gwyneth Paltrow, who plays Robert's love interest on screen.
''Gwyneth, hi! How are you?'' you say as she approaches you and greets you with a big hug. You tell her you're visiting Robert after exchanging some pleasantries and small talk because she has to go, but she points you in his direction before walking off with a last goodbye.
When you walk onto the set, you spot Robert as he's in the middle of a scene, and you try to stand back a little not to distract him from his work, but it's hard because you love seeing how he works.
The scene was done soon after, and that's when you walked forward, and the smile spreading on Robert's face was unmistakable. He only smiles like that when you're nearby, and his co-stars couldn't help but chuckle.
''Hi, Gorgeous! What are you doing here? Is everything okay?'' Robert asks as he's enveloping you in a hug, and you let yourself melt into his touch. Typically, it wasn't a problem when he was gone for long periods to film, but now it's different.
''Can we talk somewhere in private?'' is all you say, and he quickly looks around before deciding to take you to his trailer, saying he'll need some time alone with you and be back as soon as possible.
When you're in his trailer, he pulls you close and captures your lips in a sweet kiss that has your mind going crazy, and you can't help but kiss him back just as passionately, though you still need to tell him the good news.
''Robert, we- I'm here to talk, actually,'' you say, and the nerves are now taking over your body as you see the worry etched onto your husband's face.
''Okay, let's sit down,'' he says and guides you to the couch where you take your seat next to him, as close as possible to him as you're about to tell him that he's going to be a father.
''Robert, do you remember our talks about potentially starting a family? Well, I think it's time to have some different ones now because I found out last week that I'm pregnant,'' you say, trying not to cry and failing miserably.
''Are you serious?'' he says with a nervous laugh, and you nod furiously as you're letting the tears fall now, not caring about your make-up or anything else.
''I'm going to be a father...'' he whispers, and you kiss him feverishly, not knowing what to do with yourself, though Robert pulls you into a hug. This has been his dream for as long as he can remember, and now that it's about to come true, he couldn't be happier.
''I'll be coming home as soon as possible to take care of you and our little Pumpkin, okay?'' he says after doing some quick math, concluding that it'll be born around Halloween.
''I'd like that, Robert,'' you say, and after a few more kisses, he pulls you into his lap and holds you close for as long as he can. Not wanting to let you go after the news you've just told him.
''I still can't believe we're officially expanding our family,'' he says, rubbing your back in soothing motions as your head lies on his shoulder. Though you aren't crying anymore, you're still feeling a little overwhelmed.
''Thank you for telling me this in person, Gorgeous,'' he says before slotting his lips together with yours again, until the door of his trailer swings open, and his assistant comes barging in.
''Oh shit! I-I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here,'' his assistant says, and you can't help but smile.
''It's okay; I wasn't supposed to be here, but I just had something important to tell that couldn't wait until he was home,'' you say to him, and he nods.
You look over to Robert to ask him silently if it's okay to share with his assistant, and he doesn't have to tell you it's okay because you can see it on his face.
''I'm pregnant, been for about a month and a half, in fact,'' you say, and you and Robert can't contain your excitement.
''Don't tell anyone, we want to tell the rest of the world at our own pace, but for now, I just want to live in our own little bubble, with just the three of us,'' you tell Robert's assistant and he understands.
And that's how you find yourself in your husband's arms five months later when he's home, and you're a little over six months pregnant with your baby girl.
''She's growing so fast, it's unbelievable,'' Robert says as you're both laying in bed. You're lying on your back with both hands on your tummy, and Robert is rubbing softly, calming you down immensely.
''I love you, Gorgeous. And I love you too, Pumpkin,'' he says to your belly before placing a soft kiss, followed by one on your mouth. This is the first time since you're pregnant that you're falling asleep in your husband's arms, and it feels like heaven.
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boxofbonesfic · 2 years
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I wanna write a fic about a comedian!reader just making jokes at the expense of Cap and she gets some good burns in and the reader doesn’t realise that he’s there with Sam or Bucky in the back and he’s just fuming. And then when her set is over, he confronts her either by following her home or just in the dressing room 🤤 also this is totally free for anyone willing to write it btw, I never see comedian!reader fics.
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Title: Last Laugh
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Comedian!Reader
Summary: Your jokes land you in some hot water with their subject–Captain America. Turns out, America’s golden boy’s a bit of a bully–and you kind of like it. 
Warnings: Mean Steve, Sub!Reader, Smut, Light BDSM, Semi-public sex, MINORS DNI
A/N: omg i wasn't expecting all of this to come from the relatively short idea i had in my head, but uh. things happen lol. i hope you all enjoy! divider by @firefly-graphics!
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“Capscicle is definitely the right way to describe him,” you say conspiratorially, like you’re whispering to the audience through the microphone. They laugh, of course. They’re eating it up, the audience erupting into low laughter right on cue. Even that is appropriate, it’s not the big laugh, the one that’s meant to buy you time to take a drink of water, maybe a few breaths between jokes if you’re lucky.
“They defrosted that guy what, like five, six years ago now, right?” 
Steve clenches his fists.
This is the third show of yours he’s seen. The first was at a benefit–he doesn’t remember for what, something Tony organized–and he’d laughed along good naturedly and thought no more about it. Until Sam showed him the youtube video of your latest cold open for a larger comedian. You’d ribbed all of the Avengers, sure; they were hot gossip, always a crowd pleaser. But you seemed to enjoy digging at him especially, dropping hit after hit, and all of them at his expense. 
“Captain white America.” You say, rolling your eyes. “No, no, I like, him, I do, he’s a nice guy. I met him, you know.” 
He’s made sure to wear a hat, glasses. Still no facial hair, but it’s enough that no one recognizes him. No one’s expecting the butt of your jokes to be sitting in the audience, jaw clenched and lips pursed. Steve can take a joke–he can take a lot of jokes–but your lighthearted ribbing doesn’t feel so lighthearted, not when–
“So like… between you and me, guys… how many women d’you think have gotten, like, to see the shield up close, you know what I mean?” You wink, and the audience erupts into laughter. You hold the mic out towards the audience, and to Steve’s chagrin, people actually begin answering. 
“Ten!”
“Twelve!”
“Five!”
You nod along encouragingly for a few seconds before you shake your head and screw your pretty face into a disbelieving scowl. 
“Y’all buggin’, you know it’s none.” 
There’s only a single beat of complete silence before raucous laughter erupts across the crowd, their disbelief, your delivery–it’s perfect. They laugh for a few minutes, and you, on cue, walk over to the stool that your glass of water rests on and take a deep sip. 
“No, no, you know it’s none! Mister straight laced? Fucking? I can’t see it, I’m sorry. No, you know who fucks? The guy with the metal arm. I know he fucks.” This one earns you another loud round of laughter as Steve fumes silently. He’s taken great care to maintain a good reputation since he’s been back. There had been a time when standing up for one’s country was an unimpeachable act–now, apparently, it is fodder for the drivel that passes for comedy these days. 
“The guy with the metal wings? Oh my god.” You stumble dramatically, and hold your hand tightly to your chest like you’re going to pass out. “He lays it down. I know it.” You look out over the audience and shake your head one last time. “But Cap? I’m not buying it. That man wears tightie whities. That is a man who is in the gym not because he wants to be, but because he needs to be. There’s nothing. Else.” You blow out a breath. 
“I rest my case.” 
The audience laughs again, and you give them a cheerful salute, your plump lips turning up into a bright smile.
“Thank you guys, it’s been a blast! Stay tuned for the main event, I hope you all have a good night!” They clap loudly and readily for you, and you give another little bow before slipping backstage. Steve is already standing up from his seat, shuffling over to the bar to keep you in sight. There’s a door behind the curtains, and with the flurry of activity on set, he manages to slip behind it, stepping into the long concrete hallway. There are a couple of doors, one clearly meant for the main act, closed, though he spies shapes moving under the door and hears the low murmur of speech when he presses his ear to it.
The other door is slightly ajar, and when he peers through the crack, he sees you sitting in an armchair as you toe off the red sneakers on your feet. You’re holding a phone to your ear, chatting in a quiet voice to someone on the other line. 
“No, no, I think it actually went really well. Yeah, I’m excited to see you guys too, mom.” 
Steve knocks on the doorframe, rapping his knuckles against it hard. He’s had weeks to stew in it, watching clips of your shows online as you dig at him. Tony and Sam tell him to take it all in good stride, and he’d certainly given it the old college try. But there was just something he couldn’t abide; maybe it was your smug fucking attitude, or the shit eating grin that graces your pouty lips after every jab–he doesn’t know. What he does know, is that it makes him want to put you in your place. 
Tonight’s show especially.
Steve enjoys the surprised squeak you emit when you tug the door open fully, muttering a hushed “gotta go” to your mother, shoving the phone into your pocket. 
“Mr.--”
“Steve.” He replies, taking off the glasses and shoving them into the pocket of his jacket. “Or Capscicle. Whichever you like.” You wince.
“Please. Why don’t you come in,” you say, stepping aside to allow him into the small dressing room. It’s clear you’re a little embarrassed, but it isn’t enough. It isn’t an apology. 
Not yet. 
He doesn’t sit down, leaning against the sparse vanity with his muscular arms crossed. Steve knows he’s big, intimidating. He’s counting on it. You shrink 
“I take it you were, um. In the audience.” 
Steve nods. “Oh yes, sweetheart. The whole time.” He cocks his head at you as his lip curls. “You know, in my day, it was just plain inappropriate to talk about a person in public like that.”
You swallow thickly, and his eyes track the movement. The skin of your throat looks soft, almost as soft as your lips as you sink your teeth anxiously into them.
 “I… I–I know I can make some, er, raunchy jokes, but–”
“You think you’re funny?” He asks, leaning forward. You look like you want to melt into the chair, and you cast a furtive glance up at him.
“S-sir–”
He’s not sure why that sends a jolt through him, his cock throbbing in his pants. Something about the way you’re peering up at him through your lashes nervously as you fidget. He wants to hear it again. 
“Oh look. You can be respectful,” he sneers, and when you look up at him with misty eyes, he has to shift so that you don’t see the outline of his cock beginning to press against the seam of his pants. “Amazing.” He can tell you’ve never been confronted over something you’ve said before, maybe it’s given you false confidence that no one ever would. 
“I’m sorry,” you mutter, looking down at your hands. You shift subtly, the movement so slight that Steve wouldn’t have seen it if he wasn’t paying such close attention. You squeeze your thighs together, your hands clenching on your jeans, and Steve’s eyes widen just a fraction at the sight. 
Enjoying it. She’s enjoying it. You look away towards the door. And she hates it.
“What was that?” Steve leans forward dramatically, holding his hand up to his ear. “Couldn’t quite hear you, doll.” Fuck, it’s hot to watch you grit your teeth before pouting up at him. “One more time.”
“I’m sorry.” You hiss, pressing yourself further down into the chair. “Happy now?”
“No.” Steve inspects his nails. “I don’t think you really mean it.” You squirm, and he just knows your inner thighs are soaked. He can practically smell it. “Let’s try it again. A little more sincerity, sweetheart. Get on your knees, I think that would be fitting.” 
Your eyes widen, flicking towards the door again. Weighing your options, no doubt. Reluctantly though, you sink to your knees, and Steve’s sardonic smirk grows wider. 
“I’m. Sorry.” You grit out. “Better?”
“How can I accept your apology when you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for, doll? Seems kind of silly when you think about it, doesn’t it?” He wants to touch you–your skin looks butter soft–and he reaches forward cupping your chin as he runs his thumb over the apple of your cheek. 
“I–” You swallow thickly. “I want to a-apologize.” His hand slides down your jaw, and the words stick in your mouth a little as his thumb dips into the hollow at the base of your throat. “I d-didn’t know w-what I was talking about–!” The words die as you inhale sharply, air hissing through your teeth. 
“Keep going,” he says softly. “I’m listening.” Steve hadn’t really been paying all that much attention to your body, but now he can’t help but appreciate how nicely your breasts sit in that tight, white top. He’d been too busy thinking about adjusting your attitude for that, but now…
“I, I sh-should never have, ah–” Your nipples harden to points underneath the soft fabric as Steve drags his finger down your clavicle, between your breasts. Your eyes dart toward the door, and then back to him. “Ste–” His raised eyebrow stops you. “Sir, um, the… the door.” 
“If you move before you’ve finished your apology I’m going to stop.”
The ball is in your court, even if only for a moment. This is it, the time to walk away–and you don’t move. There’s a nervous, excited gleam in your eye as you swallow again. You remain on your knees, your palms flat on your thighs.
“Well then. I’m waiting.” 
The self-righteous little huff that leaves your pouty lips makes him want to shove his cock down your slim throat and hold it there until your eyes roll, but he’ll save that for next time. He doesn’t have to waste time considering if there will be a next time or not, not really. Steve satisfies himself with tugging down the already generous vee of your shirt. No bra. He clears his throat. 
“I shouldn’t have talked about you like that, sir. It…wasn’t my place.” He can tell it’s eating you up, having to grovel, but it’s making you wet too, he’d bet money on it. Steve reluctantly releases your shirt, and urges you to your shaky feet. Dimly, he can hear the murmur of the audience down the hallway, the feedback from the mic—but none of that matters. 
“Better. I like that one. Feels much more honest.” A sly grin spreads across his features as he slides down his zipper. “And honesty is such a praiseworthy trait.” 
You’re already wriggling out of those sinfully tight jeans, the left leg around your ankle when Steve scoops you up easily. You manage to finish kicking them off as he’s resting your ass on the vanity, his eyes dropping eagerly to the scrap of fabric covering your pussy. He was right, wetness glistens on your inner thighs, the crotch dark and slick with your want of him. Your eyes drop eagerly down to his cock, and Steve can’t help the sardonic chuckle that bubbles from his chest. 
“What was that you said? About seeing the shield up close?” He asks, fisting his cock with one large hand. You suck your lower lip between your teeth, looking away embarrassedly. “At least now you can honestly say he fucks. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” The knowing look on his face inspires a bashful one on yours. He doesn’t let you look away, though, dragging his fingers against the damp fabric covering your core. “You were curious, weren’t you, doll?”
“A-all of America’s curious, Steve.”
He snorts. “All of America didn’t call me frigid.” Your mouth opens as though you’re going to dispute it, but a look from him silences you. This is still a punishment, after all. He hooks his fingers underneath the elastic band, and begins inching your panties down your thighs. His nostrils flare at the scent of you, his tongue drawing itself across his lips in anticipation. 
“I didn’t ah, shit—” Steve cuts off your protests by parting your sticky folds with an insistent finger. He can’t help but bring it to his lips, savoring you right from the source. You’re soaked already, slick, dewy wetness gathering at your entrance, all for him. 
“Doll, you are fucking soaked,” he mutters lowly, enjoying the hiss of air through your teeth. You whine sharply as he circles your clit slowly, hips jerking as he flicks against it with his thumb.  Your plump lips part in a delicate o as he slides a thick finger into the slick, clenching heat of your cunt, and your hands fly up to tangle in his cotton-t-shirt. He groans at the feel of you—hot, wet, tight, sucking eagerly at his fingers. 
Steve isn’t sure if he kissed you, or if you kissed him, but suddenly your, full lips are pressed against his, and he’s devouring every breathy exhalation and raspy plea. Fingers still slick with you, he smears your wetness against the head of his cock, a muffled curse leaving his lips as he slides against you. There’s a lull in the ambient noise from outside, but Steve can’t be bothered to wonder if the two of you have been caught, not when the aching head of his cock is pressing into the velvet tightness of your cunt.
The back of your head lands with a dull thud on the mirror as Steve slides home, the fingers of one hand knotted in his shirt as you brace the other against his massive shoulder. 
“Oh fuck,” you moan, there are tears in your lashes when you look up at him. “Steve, I-, fuck, I can’t—” He draws out slow before slamming home, turning your ragged plea to babble. 
“What d’you mean you can’t, sweetheart?” He pants, fingers digging into your hip as he drags your ass forward, bending your knees around his waist. Your eyes roll and you moan pathetically as he sinks in even deeper. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You were practically fucking begging for it on stage,” he snarls, laying into you with heavy thrusts that make you squeal and squirm against him. 
The mirror on the vanity rattles dangerously in its frame as he fucks you, the wood creaking and groaning underneath your bodies. He doesn’t care about that, though, not when you’re panting his name like a prayer as your pussy squeezes him like a fucking fist—
“Y-yes!” You’re practically sobbing with pleasure, eyes wide and pupils dilated as you stare embarrassedly up at him. 
“Oh doll,” he purrs, sinking into you with another wet squelch; “All you had to do was ask.” 
You’re so perfect inside, like smooth, hot velvet; Steve can’t get enough. He can’t remember what other punishment he had planned—probably more of a stern talking to than anything—but this is much better. You whining underneath him, begging him while he ruts into you is a more perfect ending to this than he could possibly have imagined. Your cunt flutters around him, your ragged, desperate moans ringing in his ears. 
“Come on and cum,” he growls the words against your damp throat, dragging his teeth against the bruise he knows will be there tomorrow. “Make a nice mess on my cock, sweetheart.” Steve reaches between you to press the pad of his thumb hard against your swollen clit. You keen, your legs trembling around his waist as your cunt grips him like a vice. 
Even if he’d wanted to, Steve can’t stop himself from cumming, driving himself in to the hilt as you milk him. Fireworks, supernovas explode behind his shut eyes as he presses his forehead against yours, holding you still while he empties himself into you. It’s almost primal, the need to make sure you get every last drop as his cock spends itself against your womb. 
When he finally does pull away, it’s to the sound of raucous applause echoing down the hallway. You’re panting a little, wiping sweat soaked strands of hair from your forehead with the back of your hand as Steve looks on. 
“I take it back,” you reply hoarsely after a moment. “You, sir, most definitely fuck. Your ability to take a joke however, is going to need some work.” 
Steve’s face heats, even as he quirks an eyebrow. “Oh?” 
You grin. “Yeah. It’s not like you can fuck me backstage at all my shows.” 
“Can’t I?” He asks, stepping forward to brace his hands around your hips. “I’m free most Saturday nights…” he trails off, and warm heat enters his belly at the sight of the slight smile playing at the edges of your lips. It’s a different kind of heat, though. Softer—but more intimate, maybe.
“Unless you’re saving the world,” you reply, cocking your head as you loop your own arms around the back of his neck. 
“Unless I’m saving the world.” He agrees. 
“Well, then, Mr. Rogers,” you say, poking one finger into the hard muscle of his chest. “I guess I’ll see you at curtain.”   
fin
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