#short list of people i think i could handle like really speaking to rn but ultimately. i just want to be somewhere safe and easy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anarchist-billy · 4 years

Text

Thigh Fucking, you say? pt.1

At the suggestion of @tracy7307, I’ve put together what I’m sure is not a comprehensive list of fics that feature the highly underrated sex act otherwise referred to as Intercrural.

There’s actually a lot more out there than I expected, so to keep this post from getting excessively long, I’m splitting it into 2 parts.

This first has all of the fics I found under 5k words. Part 2 includes anything above that.

Bottom Steve/Billy connotes whose thighs are being fucked.

dazed and confused by viktorcreed

1.2k - Bottom Steve

Led Zeplin plays softly in the background and Steve hums along absently, his eyes are closed and he looks relaxed and happy. It's fucking annoying is what it is. Billy takes a long slow drag from his cigarette and glares at Steve not that the other could see. They've been doing this kinda shit lately, hanging out after and just listening to music because Steve's parents are never home so there's no rush. They don't talk about anything or even really acknowledge each other, it's nice.

You Know What You're Doing To Me by BeautyInChains

1.5k - Bottom Steve

"Thought you might need a hand," Billy says, voice rough like gravel. "A hand," Steve repeats dumbly as Billy takes a step closer, eyes still fixed on Steve's reflection which is beginning to flush under the attention. "With the beer," Billy clarifies, except for the fact that it doesn't clarify a damn thing; not with the way Billy is looking at him, stepping toward him.

Adult Video Arcade Goodness by BillysHardgrove

2k - Bottom Steve

How about the combo of an adult video arcade and glory holes?

Tumblr prompt that got long enough to be a posted on here

All I Need From You (is all your love) by shocked_into_shame

3.6k - Bottom Billy

Steve and Billy keep trying, far too many times, to have some time alone together. And, God love him, Billy's dog is a bit of a cockblock.

(5 times Steve and Billy try to fuck and fail, and the 1 time they succeed.)

Those American Thighs by tracy7307

1.6k - Bottom Billy

He placed his hands on the tops of Billy’s golden thighs -- spread his fingers apart and rubbed from his knees up, up, until his fingertips dipped under the legs of Billy’s shorts. The hair rasped under his hands. His thighs were still a bit slick from that suntan oil that Billy loved to use and from the sweat of working outdoors on a summer day.

Cream and Red Lace by capainwingdings

1.2k - Bottom Billy

Billy has a special surprise for Steve.

Leave all your stains with me by Confettibites

1.6k - Bottom Billy

Steve has a thing for Billy's thighs.

Lay Your Hands on Me by tracy7307

1.4k - Bottom Steve

It wasn’t as if Billy had never seen Steve’s chest hair before - almost the shape of an hourglass, the base of which stretched between his nipples - he’d seen it every time they showered in gym before they graduated. But this time the urge to touch it was immediate and overwhelming.

For a long time he tried to find the right moment to draw Steve towards him. Tommy shouted that Billy was just being a fucking ball hog, but really, he was just trying. Trying to pull Steve’s defence from conversation to close talk. Then maybe he would be able to jostle back against that chest. Maybe he could touch the skin of his shoulder back against Steve’s hair - feel it rub against his skin.

You've Got Style by red_crate

3.2k - Bottom Steve

“Go ahead,” Steve sneers, “C’mon, tell me about how good it was.”

What the fuck, Billy thinks as he looks down at the tense line of Steve’s back. He backs off a little. When he loosens his grip on Steve’s wrist, the other boy wrenches it free and braces against the hood of the car. He pushes his ass back, rubs it against the front of Billy’s hips.

He asks, “How’d you fuck her? C’mon, tell me. You already started.” Steve’s voice is dark, dangerous, and Billy doesn’t know what to think. Steve plants his elbows on the hood and his back curves with the change. He looks over his shoulder. “Finish.”

Billy changes tactics.

In his flirty voice, he asks, “You wanna hear about it?” Billy repositions the hand in Steve’s hair so he’s gripping the back of his neck. “Does it make you hot?”

Steve pushes into the hold. He hums. “Maybe. But I’m not the only one.” Then he grinds back against Billy again. “Am, I Billy?”

burnt out from the joy ride by Highsmith (quimtessence)

1.5k - Bottom Steve

Steve and Billy go to parties. Everything else is inevitable.

(Written for HarringrovePornathon Day 4! Only a tad late.)

And In The Light of Day by sarahstarkiller

3.6k - Bottom Billy

“Speaking of idiots… when can I see you again?” “You’re seeing me right now, aren’t you?”

Short Skirt, Shorter Temper by wingedbears

3.6k - Bottom Billy

Steve Harrington is absolutely not attracted to Billy Hargrove.

It’s just a fact. He’s not.

Sure, Billy is objectively pretty, with his long, dark eyelashes, his weirdly full and pink mouth, and insanely thick thighs. Objectively.

There's One Bed, Baby by XxmerthurcatxX

4k - Bottom Steve

When Max suggested that Billy and Steve carpool back to Hawkins from California, Steve didn't know what to expect. He definitely hadn't expected the two of them to wind up sharing a bed for the night.

Egg You On by mrharringtons

1.8k - Bottom Billy

“Piss off!” he yells, but it comes out a sad whine.

The knob turns and the door swings wide. Steve has to step back to avoid being hit.

He sighs, because it’s just his luck. “Tonight’s really my fucking night, isn’t it?”

Billy Hargrove sweeps blue eyes over him, head to toe. He closes the door behind him.

“What the hell happened to you?”

Massage by mrharringtons

2.7k - Bottom Billy

Steve gives Billy a massage after practice. -

“This feel that good, huh?”

Billy swears. “H-Harrington. Get the hell off me.”

You Get Too Close by trashcangimmick

2.2k - Bottom Steve

Steve sits at the back of the bus on the way to a basketball match in Gary. Billy Hargrove sits right across from him.

(i will try to tag authors later. i don’t know everyone’s tumblr handles, and tumblr gives me a lot of grief when i try to tag people anyway, which i’m too tired to deal with rn, so i apologize)

#harringrove #harringrove fic rec #lemon

119 notes · View notes

shikai-the-storyteller · 4 years

Text

CYBERVERSE WATCH: S3 Episode 13, 14, 15, 16

Episode 13

MACCADAM IS MY GRANDPA NOW

Jetfire!!! And Skybite!!! Skybite’s got a great laugh

Oh wow the cloaking still protects them? Nice!

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE FIX PERCY’S EYES, WHERE THE FRICK IS RATCHET

A MULTIVERSE DRIVE???

PLEASE...PLEASE LET US SEE OTHER UNIVERSES??? OTHER UNIVERSES PLEASE????

SPARE SOME MULTIVERSE STUFF FOR A POOR SOUL???

I mean as it stands, the fact that Cyberverse is talking about this stuff is more than satisfying, man I frickin love this show

“We can launch those squiggly things into a whole ‘nother universe!” his delivery of that line was so good and also Wheeljack pls, then it’ll be another version of you’s problem

MEGATRON REALLY *IS* POUTING, MEGATRON YOU BIG BABY

Maccadam fondly but watching them talk about their battle plans makes me feel so bad for him...

AW MAN IS MEGATRON GONNA CHUCK OPTIMUS INTO A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE

About time you showed up you big pouting pansy

Man these two totally were ex boyfriends

LMAO ARCEE AND SHADOW-STRIKER’S EVIL LAUGHS, THAT”S SO DELIGHTFUL

That Titan should just smack them out of the sky tbh

SKULLCRUNCHER THE CROC...NICE

I love that Soundwave and Roddy are manning the controls

“Commanders command. And you forget, we have backup” CUTE...CUTE....CUTE!!!

I’M SO PROUD OF MY BOYS!!!!!!

BEE!!!It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! I love my little yellow boy!!! Please take care of your dad Bee

OH NO IT”S CREEPY TENTACLE DOCTOR

GOTH GIRL AND PREP GIRL!!!

MAN I JUST KNOW SOMETHING’S GOING TO GO HORRIFICALLY WRONG HERE

FRICK NOT THIS DUDE AGAIN

AW MAN NOT A WHOLE BUNCH AT ONCE

YEAAAHHHHH WHEELJACK AND MEGATRON WORKING TOGETHER!!! NICE

Two Decepticons and one Autobot...not a good sign

Oh shoot it’s the DECEPTICONS who wanna universe-jump, MEGATRON COME ON DUDE YOU DIDN’T EVEN TAKE YOUR ARMY WITH YOU DUMMY

OH NO!!!!!!

“It’s time for the commanders to join the battle” MAN YOU’RE SO COOL RODDY (YOU TOO SOUNDWAVE)

OH SHOOT THERE GOES THE TOWER

WELL FRICK

DON”T “WE DID IT” HOT ROD YOUR DAD IS IN THAT WRECKAGE

“Quintessons: Inferior. Cybertronians: Superior” MAN I”LL NEVER GET TIRED OF THAT

HE”S SO COOL!!!!! FIST BUMP BUDDIES!!! Man I’m so over the moon that these two wound up getting along

You know I’m suddenly having a revelation: I wonder if they could somehow re-activate all those other Soundwaves to help them against the (inevitable) final battle I’m sure they’re gonna have

WHAT THE FRICK

ARE YOU FRICKIN KIDDING ME

Starscream: CANCELED, CANCELED, YOU”RE ALL CANCELED

Well, Megatron certainly got the heck out of dodge at the right time lmao

Episode 14

I legit thought they were going to do an ATLA ref for half a second

Oh my gosh is this an Autobot recruitment video???

“The universe. You ever thought about it?” GOSH THIS VIDEO....

I’m frickin cackling, the Quintessons were like “Hmm, what’s the worst thing we could possibly inflict on this planet?” then went “Oh, of course, Starscream”

WHY DIDN”T YOU JUST LET GO STARSCREAM

Wow Starscream really did just sell out his entire planet huh

SOUNDWAVE NO!!!!! JEEZ HE GOT EVERYONE

Jeez and Starscream has to share with two other faces, that sucks

Lmao Starscream is just like “Nah judging people is what I was born for”

UNSPACE??? UH OK

WAIT isn’t that what Wheeljack made a few episodes ago????

LMAO HE’S GONNA WAIT TIL HE CAN GET OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON TOO bless Starscream and his pettiness

“First I must witness their humiliation!” STARSCREAM PLEASE the Quintessons really got the worst Judge

OHHH WHAT’S HE GONNA DO

SOUNDWAVE YOU’RE SO POWERFUL!!!!!

OH NO HE GOT THEM AGAIN....

GOSH I ACTUALLY GASPED WHEN THEY BROKE SOUNDWAVE’S AUDIO THING, NO!!!

“Well, it did for one of us, and it only takes one Autobot to make a difference” Bee? Whirl??? Wheeljack???

WINDBLADE!!! EVEN BETTER!!! The person with the braincell!!!

I love that Rodimus doesn’t even look worried, he just sighs like “aw man not this loser again”

On the one hand: Worried about my boys On the other: Man I love these two being buds

Also: Not To Be That Guy But it looks like Soundwave’s wearing white thigh-highs with little orange hearts on them and it’s VERY distracting

“You two work so well together!!!” OH NO OH NO OH NO ARE THEY GONNA FUSE THEM TOGETHER OR SOMETHING

THOSE HEAD MASKS ARE SO DISTURBING

uh oh what kind of loop is this

THE PLAGUE OF RUST OH NO

oh my gosh STARSCREAM’S MAKING THEM DO A BUFFING LOOP...THAT’S REALLY THE WORST THING YOU COULD THINK OF STARSCREAM....

“WHERE ARE MEGATRON AND OPTIMUS PRIME” well Optimus is under a pile of concrete, so

Lmao thank you for your peanut-gallery commentary Kup

OH SHOOT THEY DID JUMP THROUGH THE MULTIVERSE BRIDGE

MAN THAT LOOKS SO FRICKIN COOL???? YO SHOUTOUT TO THE BACKGROUND ARTISTS WHO WORKED ON THIS SHOW, YOU ROCK

SERIOUSLY IM IN LOVE WITH THAT I hope whoever did the background art shares their work online sometime, I’ll be ALL over that

AHH I ALWAYS FORGET HOW SHORT THESE EPISODES ARE

Excuse me, Jeremy Levy as WHO???

Episode 15

Kup you are an...interesting commentator choice lmao

MACCADAM..... :(

Windblade please save our favorite Grandpa

wINDBLADE!

HOW’S IT FEEL BEING THE COOLEST KID ON THE BLOCK WINDBLADE

Wait I *JUST* noticed the title calls this “Bumblebee: Cyberverse Adventures” ???? IS THAT NEW

CALL ME A SUCKER BUT WINDBLADE CRACKING HER NECK AND TELLING THE LITTLE SHARK DUDES TO BRING IT ON WAS QUITE POSSIBLY ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF THE SERIES SO FAR

Windblade: *does anything* Me: IM GAY

“I don’t do fear” GOSH I LOVE MY TALENTED GIRL

OH NO!!! OH NO!!!! WINDBLADE NO!!!!!

AND HER WINGS TOO??? WHY!!!!

MACCADAM HELP HER OUT COME ON DUDE WHAT HAPPENED TO NO FIGHTING

lmao rip at the dude crushed by the juke box

Wait I thought they already woke up Iaconus??

YEAH!!!!!!!! MACCADAM AND WINDBLADE TEAMING UP

“UNFORGIVABLE CRIMES AGAINST ME!” LMAO I LOVE THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE IS TUNING OUT STARSCREAM get rekt Starscream.

Not to rag on people who like Starscream because I like him too but me @ Starscream stans tbh

You guys just need to hold hands! I mean seriously, come on you guys!

STARSCREAM QUINTESSONS OMG I just noticed they’re all wearing Starscream’s colors pffft

AW.....MACCADAM’S FIRST HIGH-FIVE....:’) I bet Windblade and Maccadam both give the best hugs and best high-fives

They’re so cute MAN I love Cyberverse!!!! I love how sweet these characters are!!!

A psychic trap??? Hoo boy

Windblade: How do I defeat this psychic trap? Maccadam: Well, it would help if you had any bug or dark-type Pokemon on you.

“Or you could just tell me!” I JUST SAID THAT TOO LMAO gosh I love the writing on this show

OHHH I LOVE THE CONTRAST OF IACONUS’ BRAIN WITH BEE’S BRAIN IN SEASON ONE, THAT”S SO GOOD

OH LMAO HE MEANT HER SWORD I thought he meant like “your inner-strength” or “your wisdom” NO HE MEANT “USE YOUR SWORD WINDBLADE” LOL

OHHH SPOOKY VOICE, I DIG IT

Wow Starscream’s really reading out his 1000 page long call-out post to a captive audience

LMAO THEY”RE JUST LISTING OUT DATE LOCATIONS

CHROMIA IS SO CUTE!!!!!!!! AHHH

OH NO ARCEE!!!!

I LOVE ARCEE, “HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT YOU BASTARD”

OH SHOOT JK I GUESS THEY REALLY DIDN”T TOTALLY WAKE HIM UP LAST TIME I was wondering why he was just an arm

TITAN TIME!!!

Episode 16

To toast the flares off a neutron star....cute....

Wouldn’t it be cute if Kup was telling this story to a bunch of baby Cybertronians

Awh....Maccadam I’m sorry your old Titan had to re-awaken :(

“Too bad I won’t know how it ends” OH NO ARE YOU GUYS GONNA KILL OFF MACCADAM???? NO!!!!

Iaconus looks frickin RAD I’m sure Hasbro will make a killing off his toys

Speaking of I really hope they release Cyberverse on DVD in a bundle-pack

“War Titan, do NOT ignore me!” YEAH USE YOUR MOM VOICE ON HIM WINDBLADE!!!

LOVE THAT ROCK MUSIC

“This has never happened before” now THERE’S an interesting tidbit

OH NO....ITS THE OTHER TITAN....CROATON....

on the one hand, I’m SO glad we’re getting the Titan battle I crave, but on the other, CROATON NO!!!

TRIFORCE BEAM!!!

I love that Windblade is Jaeger-ing this frickin Titan solo

WHOOPS THERE GOES THE STADIUM

“Optimus had a fight of his own...with gravity!” oh how the mighty have fallen Optimus lmao

I wonder how this wonky universe would handle a flier

JUST THROW A BUILDING AT A TITAN, NBD

SOMEONE PLEASE CATCH ARCEE

THANKS GRIMLOCK

THERE’S RATCHET Finally, I was wondering where he was

“Well it’s not my fault this won’t be a fair fight” OH SHOOT THERE IT IS!!! THERE IT IS

I can’t believe Starscream is trying to back-seat drive this fight lmao

SOUNDWAVE NO!!!! Oh thank goodness they’re ok

OH NO OH NO

IS THIS IT IS HE GONNA DIE?? MAC DONT GIVE IN TO FATE!!! NO!!!

MAC NO!!!!!!!!!! MAC YOU DIDN”T HAVE TO DIE NO!!! YOU LITERALLY DID NOT HAVE TO STAND THERE AND GET BLASTED WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!!!!!

“My last citizen...he is gone” FRICK IM GONNA START CRYING

Quints > Murdered Croaton's citizens most likely > Enslave Croaton > Inadvertently kill Iaconus' last citizen (WHICH HURT BECAUSE WE'RE MADE TO ASSUME IACONUS ONLY CARES ABOUT WAR BUT NO, HE LOVES HIS CITIZENS DEEP DOWN) > BEHEAD IACONUS LIKE, WHY YOU GOTTA STAB ME IN THE HEART LIKE THIS

Wheeljack you’re so smart but ALSO IM STILL CRYING OVER MACCADAM

“Hehe, you’re a nasty little fella” NICE JOB COWBOY

OH NO ALL THE SOUNDWAVES DANGIT I KNEW IT

AND HE”S A BIG LIAR HE DID HAVE SOME BLUE SOUNDWAVES

OH NO WHAT ABOUT WINDBLADE

HECK THAT”S SUCH A BAD PLACE TO STOP BUT I CANT WATCH ANY MORE EPISODES RN I GOTTA STAGGER THIS SERIES

#i talk #I'm watching Cyberverse #Cyberverse spoiler /#primordial robot hell

5 notes · View notes

lovestillaround · 5 years

Text

Thoughts about Phil’s last video (Draw My Life: Part 2)

So, it’s been two days and I still have trouble processing all the information from Phil’s newest video - that’s why I’m writing my thoughts down, hoping that it will give me more inner peace. Disclaimer: following text includes critique of the video, so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff/ not in the mood for hearing my negative opinions, please proceed with caution or stop reading. Love ya <3

So, Phil starts the video saying that he’s aware that we know what’s been mostly going on in his life during the last six years and that he’s gonna share with us all the behind the scenes facts. And that on itself is fine, but oh boy, nothing would prepare me for the amount of negativity that I was going to endure (and no, I’m not talking about the subjects of death and illness). I said it to my friend and I still stand by that opinion - the video was for me more like “20 minutes of complaining about/listing every bad thing that happened in my life” than actual “draw my life”. And well, obviously Phil has the right to reflect on his life in whatever way he wants, but as I was watching the video, I couldn’t help getting more and more frustrated with his lack of awareness, especially regarding the massive privilege that he has and has always had. (Also, I’m not trying to call him out for being rich and being able to afford things that I can’t afford - that’s not at all what this is about, it’s about the attitude and the way he chose to speak about those things).

While I do think that the video was full of lovely and cute moments, I’m going to focus mainly on what I found annoying or upsetting, just to keep it (relatively) short. So, I was talking about how in my opinion the video was filled with negativity. You might ask - where is it, Daria? Or more importantly - why is it bad? The response to the video is (at least from what I saw) overwhelmingly positive. Well, I’ll try to explain how I see it.

The video literally starts with Phil saying that London was (is?) 5x more expensive than Manchester, and that if their career in London didn’t work out, they would have had to move back to their parents. I have enough compassion to understand that it must have been hard for them to feel insecure about their finances (I know this feeling damn too well) - but I also think that people should, idk, be generally aware that their actions have consequences? They took a risk, and it was hard to live in uncertainty - I get that - but people having to live with their parents is a reality for so many people! So many young people don’t even get a chance to start an independent life, for various reasons. And I’m not saying that he doesn’t have the right to talk about his struggles - just for me, in the light of the rest of the video that is played on a similar note, it becomes clear that Phil isn’t aware of how much luck he’s had in life and how he has already started his life from a much better position than - can I say that? - probably the majority of people. So for me, what lacks in the video is, idk, maybe just one instance where he acknowledges his privilege? Or just generally him using a different language while talking about his experience, choosing his words more carefully, but I’ll get to that later.

The negativity continues when Phil talks about how he could not work out how to operate the radio control panel, how it was a bad decision to say yes to everything (although I admit, this one is just Phil acknowledging sth that he has learned over the years, which isn’t really negative but let’s still keep it on the list of bad things), anxiety, lack of sleep, stress, juggling responsibilities, people that they used to work with getting more from dnp than dnp did from them, dnp doing things out of obligation, not being able to fully create things how they wanted to, people being cynical about youtubers doing projects/not understanding youtube and media’s negative reactions, loads of office work, risking all their life savings to go on tour, heteronormativity of the interviewers, lots of work related to creating gaming channel videos, overworking themselves during gamingmas, frustration with people not realising how much work happens behind the scenes, people cancelling projects, losing money because of Manila.

On the other hand, the positives that Phil talked about were getting job at the radio, getting 1 million subs, interviewing people being a cool thing, everything about his relationship with family was very positive, getting a new team of people to work with and dropping some responsibilities like the radio show, success of the books and tours and games they created, creative freedom, positive relationship with his audience, improvement of the press over the years and people in traditional businesses becoming aware of what youtube is, creating and expanding irl merch, having fun on tour.

Then comes the moment when I got genuinely quite confused, aka the moment when Phil talks about not having a life. Like.... really? He has every right to feel what he feels but honestly, not that many people would count themselves lucky enough to be in a long term relationship, having a loving family, four friends that want to hang out with them, going out to dinner dates and cinemas on the regular, regularly going on vacations, being able to take private yoga or boxing lessons etc.

When I heard him saying “and I didn’t do any normal stuff people do, like getting a house or a dog”, that’s the point when I’ve lost all my hope. Like, I’m sorry Phil, but are you really gonna complain about not having time to get a house because of the life choices that you’ve made? Just… think about it. I’m not an expert on the standard of life in the UK but I personally can think of exactly zero people that I know who bought a house in their 20s. And I have to say, it’s upsetting that he seems to be so detached from what is the reality for many many people.

Sharing personal stuff on the internet requires courage and I don’t want to be the one who takes all this knowledge and uses it against him. But I’m genuinely upset with the way he handled things this time. As I was watching the video for the first time, at the end of it all I could think was - wow, you’re really that entitled, aren’t you?

And it makes me sad, because I see two possible reasons for him being like that:

a) He is not in the best place mentally, so that he can only really focus rn on the negative aspects of his life, regretting his past choices, being disappointed in how his personal life looks like. This could be supported the fact that for basically any major thing that happened in his life he decided to share with us and elaborate mostly the negative details attached to it, rarely the positive ones (see the list of positive and negative things that I included above).

b) He is completely unaware of what’s the average threshold for a “good quality life”, and he’s not aware of his own privilege.

To elaborate a bit more on the point b): one could see Phil’s video as maybe a reminder that everything comes with a prize and that even though a youtuber’s life might seem super easy, there’s still a lot of stress and work involved that we just don’t see. But… I’ve been aware of that. Nobody’s life is one-dimensional, and everyone has struggles. And of course they have to edit their videos and do the business stuff. But when Phil says how he sometimes wishes people were aware of his personal struggles, I can only think that this is the reality for many many people, not only celebrities on the internet. Idk, maybe I just wasn’t the target of this whole segment in the first place, but for me it sounds borderline patronising, and again, entitled, because as I mentioned, everyone has their own struggles.

But for me, Phil doesn’t seem to be aware that he was only able to make some of the life choices that he’s made because he already had a good start in life in the first place. He’s always had a safety net in form of his parents, so he could make a choice of risking everything and moving to London for example. And yes, coming back home and asking his parents for money could have been embarrassing for him and emotionally hard, but so many people could not take such risk, or any risk, in general! Because they have families that they need to take care of. Because they have not enough money to move to an expensive city, no matter the circumstances. Because they have no one left who would help them financially if something went wrong. And so many other reasons!

On one hand, I can empathise with his frustration. I know how it is to work my ass off just to be able to go to uni, while many people that I know get money from their parents, go to a couple of lectures and then party/do nothing really. And then having other people thinking that everything is easy for me because idk I’ve always had good grades so according to them I don’t need to work as hard. Is it frustrating? Yeah. It’s hard to be misunderstood, or having your work belittled. But I would never blame other people for not being aware of how much work comes with the lifestyle that I’ve chosen. And I’m aware that dnp were working their asses off to create good things for us, but also, obviously, they were hoping to make financial profit out of it. It might sound awful but they did not have to do most of those things. In many instances, they totally did not have to overwork themselves, because it was not like they were making money to survive, they were making money just to make more money, basically. Nothing evil in wanting to make money but honestly Phil, most people work super hard, and they don’t get millions for it. While I do acknowledge that they’ve been working hard, and that a part of their audience might have not been aware of that, I think that complaining about that seems quite… inconsiderate? Complaining about the lack of private life seems inconsiderate too, especially because most people aren’t privileged enough to just decide to put their work aside and focus on their private life whenever they want. Many people I know are overworking themselves too, simply because they don’t have another choice.

So, I’m quite upset. I don’t know what my point is. It seems to me like in that video Phil comes from a place of deep frustration, and well, I’m frustrated too. Fair game, I guess?

I want them to have a good life. I want them to do whatever the hell they need to do in order to be happy, I want them to get a goddamn dog and a house. But I also hope they’ll continue to grow, and that maybe next time Phil will be more considerate, and more careful with words.

#amazingphil #phil lester #dnp #phan #ramble

17 notes · View notes

theancientgeekoroman · 5 years

Note

Hi so I'm a high school freshman rn lol but I want to study archaeology, and in my country they don't teach that, like it's not a career, there's only anthropology. So I've been researching a lot and I found out that La Sapienza in Rome teaches it. But idk do you think that it would be fine to go and study it abroad? Also, should I learn latin or ancient greek?

Hello! Anthropology is a good way to start and get to archaeology - the University of Delaware (my alma mater in the U.S.A.) just has Anthropology, but under that department, there are archaeology courses. One of my courses was Prehistoric Archaeology (which was one of my favorite classes!) listed as an Anthropology class. Also, remember that if you study a related program as an undergraduate, getting a graduate degree in Archaeology is possible. My undergraduate degree was in History with a concentration in Classics, so it was relevant for my Classical Studies MA, and then my Ph.D. is going to be specific to ancient art and archaeology (once I get in, that is!) A lot of different subjects are relevant to archaeology, so you don’t necessarily need to study it as an undergraduate. You can major in a relevant but different program, and go to archaeological field schools to gain archaeology experience. One of the most important things to remember about archaeology is that, from what I have been told, is that the most important aspect of archaeology is the experience. The more you dig, the better! Potential employers, at least in the United States, look more at how much you have dug in the past - it’s great to have the education - but finding digs you can participate in (and if you decide to go to Italy, there will be no shortage of digs you might be able to participate in). But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to major in Archaeology specifically before you start digging.

However, if you really want to do a program abroad, do some research on the program. If you’re proficient in Italian, then I don’t think that would be an issue - but remember, studying abroad for a long period of time or for a full program is much different than short-term studying abroad. If your country does not have archaeology as a career, you should assess where you might want to go if that’s your career goal. It does make it easier when you’ve studied in that country to get a position as a professional there once you’ve completed the program. I’ve studied abroad four times, but it was always between two and five weeks, so I can’t speak too much on doing a full program abroad (anyone who is doing their program abroad and wants to add some specific advice to this, please do!) The other thing you really should consider with studying abroad is funding; make sure you look into the funding available for foreign/EU students (depending on where you live). See what the university offers and search to see if there are any exchange programs between your country and Italy that might provide you with a fellowship/scholarship. Outside scholarships for exchange students are out there as well, so make sure you look everywhere for them! Unfortunately, since I’m U.S.-based, I’m not sure if your country does things quite the same way, but see if you can find scholarship search engines. I use things like FastWeb on a regular basis, but also Unigo, Cappex, and ScholarshipDetective. Smaller scholarships are always good to look for (I was awarded a $600 scholarship from Mensa in my last program, and all I was able to do was buy my books for two semesters, so it wasn’t a lot, but every little bit helps!) Look locally and at the university you’re applying to, and you can always e-mail the person listed on the funding page of the university and ask them questions about your concerns. I did this with the University of Wales Trinity St. David when I considered going there for Ancient Religions (and honestly I might take some of the classes for fun when I have the time and money because I don’t have enough courses about Ancient Religion), but the amount of funding that would be available for a distance student from the U.S.A. wasn’t enough for me to even take one course, so I looked for different options.

I would advise looking into other schools as well! If you’re proficient in Italian, you can look into other schools, too. You don’t necessarily have to stick to just La Sapienza, but I would suggest researching all possible options and perhaps compare them in terms of the specializations of the professors (if you want to study something that’s a research interest of a professor, you can e-mail them and discuss your desire to apply to the program), compare the weather for the university with the weather to what you’re used to and make sure you can handle the change or are at least prepared for it! I’m a beach baby who ended up in the desert, and I was not prepared. If you’re able to, I would visit the university as well, because I think visiting and getting to see the campus facilities (classrooms, dorms, library (libraries, if there’s more than one), dining halls, etc.) is important. This is where you’re going to study for a couple of years, it would be good to visit to get familiar with the campus and gauge if you feel that it’s a right fit for you.

So, in sum, I do think it’s totally fine to go abroad for your degree. I think studying abroad is really beneficial to people who do it, but the main concern for that is usually funding. If you would be comfortable living in a different country, I think you should do it, absolutely. As I said, I’ve only done short-term study abroad courses, so I can’t speak to semester/year/degree-length study abroad experiences, but if I had the chance myself, I would take it. Just do your research, e-mail potential professors, and consider whether you would like to stay at the university for a graduate program or to find archaeology as a career.

As for whether you should take Latin or Ancient Greek, that depends on a couple of things: your potential research interests, where you want to dig, and finally, what you think you will enjoy the most! My program only required me to take either Latin up to the 600 level (6 semesters for a new student), Ancient Greek up to the 600 level (6 semesters for a new student), or a combination of both Latin and Ancient Greek (a total of 8 classes). Since I didn’t know which one I would like better, I took both, so I could only take 4 semesters to complete the requirement because I took Ancient Greek and Latin at the same time. So, if you’re going to school for archaeology in Italy and you want to dig in the same place, Latin would make more sense. If you’re interested in digging in any of the ancient Greek areas (I dug in an ancient Greek and Thracian area of Bulgaria this past summer), then ancient Greek would be good to study. Part of the areas I visited in Bulgaria was inscribed with Latin, too, so it is prominent in a lot of places. Part of the reason I took both was because part of my research interest includes ancient religions and how they evolved, so I needed Ancient Greek and Latin and languages I haven’t even started looking at yet.

If you’re still not sure about whether to take Ancient Greek or Latin, I would read some of the Classical texts that are on reading lists in your native language, decide which texts you liked the best and decide from there whether you want to read those texts in their original language! For reference of what texts you should read in translation to decide, here is the link to the Yale list of reading for Classics: https://classics.yale.edu/sites/default/files/files/downloads/YaleUndergraduateReadingList.pdf and here is one from Balliol College, University of Oxford: https://www.balliol.ox.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate-admissions/classics-reading-lists. These would be a great place to start, and if you’ve already read a lot of or a decent amount of them, think of which ones you liked more.

Finally, if you want to study both and are able to, study both! If you think you’ll like Ancient Greek more, then go for that one. I’m personally better at Latin, but I like Ancient Greek more. This might also depend on your program as well, how much they offer, and how far they expect you to go for your program. This would be another thing to add to your research list when looking into potential programs.

I wish you all the best, and I hope this helps! If you would like me to clarify or expand on anything I’ve said here, don’t hesitate to drop me a line!

-The Ancient Geeko-Roman

#archaeology #anthropology #study abroad #Ancient Greek #Latin #Lingua Latina #ask #asks #personal #academia #long post #Classics #Classical Studies

5 notes · View notes

ragehappysecretsanta · 6 years

Text

Author: http://teamcrazydicks.tumblr.com

Recipient: http://oxfordsemicolon-rebel.tumblr.com

Summary: It was supposed to be a reconnaissance mission. Gavin wasn’t supposed to get hurt. Now he’s stuck in a hospital room with the Vagabond, waiting to get discharged. There are a lot of things they both don’t want to tell the other about.

[For the prompt 'FakeAHCrew!AU. Person B is injured on a heist, the rest of the crew goes to comfort them. Unknown to the crew, however, is that Person A was also injured but doesn't want to reveal the injury for whatever reason.']

Warnings: Rated T, minor description of non-fatal injuries

WordCount: 5328

The Fakes didn’t go to hospitals. Not if they could help it. That was one of the unfortunate downsides to having a face synonymous with a spot on the LSPD’s most wanted list. They had the foresight to have an RN on their payroll instead, and a few industrially-stocked med kits in most places they might land after a job went south.

So when Gavin came to and, through a haze of drugs, pain, and exhaustion, blinked his eyes open and deduced he was in a hospital room, the thought that lazily floated to the forefront of his mind was, shit. His eyes tracked along the wall, the hanging TV that was off, the open window that showed it was sometime in the afternoon. He wasn’t cuffed to the bed, and there weren’t any cops at least. That was good. He relaxed again, knowing he was too weak to struggle to his feet and break out.

The next thought he had didn’t float so much as navigate through the mental debris currently clouding his brain was that it was supposed to have been a simple reconnaissance mission. Easy. In and out. Little to no chance of getting shot. Gavin was the hacker, the tech guy. He didn’t handle getting shot well. Save that for someone like –

Gavin jumped in his skin when the door banged open, grunted in pain a second later from the involuntary movement. The room had a small entryway, probably where the bathroom was, so there was a stretched pause between the door shutting again and the intruder appearing in Gavin’s line of sight.

Ryan stepped into the room. It took a moment for Gavin to realize it actually was Ryan; he had only caught the Vagabond out of the makeup and mask a handful of times, so it took a moment for his eyes to comprehend what he was seeing. That, and the guy had materialized wearing baggy jeans and a sweater, for Christ’s sake. His long hair had been cut short. He was giving Gavin an eyeful of some expression. Anger? Blame? Then he just sighed, twisting a little Styrofoam cup in his hand to take a sip from the opened top.

Gavin tried to unstick his mouth and ask if the other man had come to put him out of his misery. But Ryan beat him to the punch, speaking up in that usually dry tone of his. “Of course you wake up in the five minutes it takes me to get some coffee.” He took another, pointed sip out of the cup.

Gavin tried to eke out an apology, but all that seemed to come out was air. Ryan placed the cup by Gavin’s bedside and moved behind his line of sight. He heard the sound of water being poured and was, some moments later, presented with his own cup with a long straw. Ryan held the cup while he drank. “Michael and I are alright,” Ryan prefaced. “You were – well you weren’t on death’s doorstep or anything, but you were out of it for almost three days. Lots of superficial cuts; you’re on antibiotics for the infection on some of your deeper lacerations. They had to dig out some shrapnel in your abdomen and they were considering some physical therapy, due to the fact that they don’t want you to move around a lot for a while.”

Gavin looked up at Ryan, processing everything he said. “A while?”

Ryan shrugged. “They wanted to play it by ear, I guess. Don’t worry, as soon as you can stand I’m getting you out of here. If you need extra help, we can get somebody, do it in the privacy of your place.” Gavin nodded, leaning further against the pillows. Ryan put his water cup on the bedside table and took a seat next to his bed.

“How did you even get us in here without the police finding out?” Gavin took a breath. “I mean, I probably look like someone who survived a bomb attack.”

“Yeah, had to say something about letting off too many fireworks and not getting away in time.”

“Fireworks?”

“Considering we have a lake house and like throwing barbeques with our neighbors.”

Gavin squinted. “We do? Since when?”

“Since you needed medical attention and we’re the only two people in the Crew who can have a normal civilian identity.” He held up his left hand, Gavin noticed there was a gold band on it.

“Don’t tell me…”

“Yep. I’m carrying yours. You’re a size nine, right?”

He was. Gavin didn’t need to think long and hard about how Ryan might have figured that one out. “I don’t know why you’d even ask, as if you didn’t already size me for that and my casket, too.” Ryan smiled.

“I didn’t size you for your casket. I don’t think they even do that anymore. You think I’m making you your own coffin? I’m a busy man.”

“Not so busy that you couldn’t sit by your apparent husband’s bedside.” Finding that his hand was fine to move, he drummed a pattern on the sheets, then yawned.

“Well,” Ryan said, “I was kind of poking at what you got from the USB stick. Trying to see if I could get any damning evidence on those guys. Some locations, names.”

“Anything?”

“I found the name Lemuria, not sure if that’s their gang’s name or some drug or what. It’s all encrypted, and I can’t get any further without a cipher.”

With some effort, Gavin rolled onto his side. He sighed; despite the effort of moving, his back ached from laying that way for so long. “I made a de-encryption program a while back that uses a lot of the more popular ciphers. We can program more in too, if we can find any that might work. If you call Geoff I can tell him to bring my laptop over and –”

“No,” Ryan interrupted.

“No?”

“Not yet. You just woke up.”

“Yeah, exactly. I’m awake.”

“After being out for three days.”

“What, you think I don’t know my own code?”

“No, I just –” There was a loud rap on the door; a moment later a woman in maroon scrubs came through the door.

“Oh! Mr. Foster, you’re awake, that’s great. How are you feeling?”

Gavin blinked. “Uh, a bit sore, from… everything, yeah. But good, otherwise. In one piece.” She smiled at him.

“I’ll grab the doctor in a few minutes then. We’ll see if we can get you something for the pain. Did your husband explain your injuries?” Gavin’s eyes slid over to Ryan, who now had on an expression of worried fondness. He swallowed.

“Uh, yes, he did. Lucky he was here when I woke up, yeah? Like, like sleeping beauty. Right?”

The nurse forced a laugh. “Right. I’ll be back in a minute.” She shut the door.

“Sleeping beauty?” Ryan asked, after a moment.

“Whatever, I have to pretend we’re together, don’t I?”

“So you throw in fairy tale references? You might be laying it on a little thick.”

“You’re laying it on a little thick, sod off.” Gavin thought about turning so his back was to the other man, but the idea made most of the muscles in his abdomen twinge in pain, so he stayed where he was.

“Sod off,” Ryan echoed. “How terribly British of you.”

“W – I am British, what are you on about?” Ryan shrugged.

“You could be Welsh. Or Irish, right?”

“I could not.”

“Scottish.”

“Don’t even –” Gavin squinted. “What’s your name?”

“…Feeling alright there?”

“No you knob, I mean your – cover name, or whatever.”

“Oh, uh. Mark Forster. And you’re Thomas Forster.”

“Okay, so, Mark,” Gavin growled with annoyance. “I’ve had it up to bloody here with you.”

Ryan, surprisingly, laughed. “Did you just ask about our fake names so you could yell at me?”

“You said I was laying it on thick. Fighting is like – taking it off, then, right?”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“You don’t make sense.”

---

The doctor had checked on him some time later, and keeping up the charade of being a naïve man that was too careless around some fireworks while his vitals were checked and the doctor not-so-subtly warned him about being more responsible had, unfortunately, taken a lot out of him. Well, that or the morphine drip. Either way, he slipped back to sleep without really noticing. He may have had a dream. Something with deserts, a mission that should have been easy but wasn’t, a trap, a bomb, sound and light melded together…

He was slowly woken by the sound of voices. Someone else was in the room. He didn’t tense, knowing that would just cause more pain, instead he laid still and tried to make out the conversation.

“…Yeah, here, don’t spend it all in one place.” A man’s voice said. There was some shuffling, stuff moving around.

“Thanks, but really – why are you here?”

“Geoff says he needs the codes, Ryan.” Gavin nearly furrowed his brow at that voice. That couldn’t be Michael, could it?

“I’m working on it.” The sound of keys being hit on a laptop.

“…Why can’t Gavin work on it?” There was a petulant edge to his tone. Definitely Michael. Gavin nearly interrupted them, wanting to make sure the other was okay and figure out why the hell he was here, but his natural drive to eavesdrop got the best of him.

“He’s a bit incapacitated, as you can see.”

“Well if you woke him up –”

“I’m not going to – Michael, do not.” There was a pause. Someone shifting on their feet.

“Thought you said you could get him out of here soon.”

“Soon. Not yet. He’s not… I don’t want to break him.”

Michael scoffed. “Look, I know Gavin is like, 130 pounds soaking wet. But he’s hardier than you’d think. He hates it when he thinks he’s laying around doing nothing. He already hates being behind the scenes all the time.”

“I know. Just… He was talking, earlier. I think he can go home tomorrow. Or the next day. Tell Geoff I’m not breaking him out until I know it won’t actually break him.”

“…Fine. Yeah, alright. You’re probably right. But as soon as –”

“I promise.”

“Okay. Um. Do you want me to – ?”

“No. I mean. No thanks, cover, and everything.”

“I’m sure even the most attentive of husbands are allowed to go home, Ryan.” There was a pause, and Michael sighed.

“I mean, it’s just – you don’t have the most airtight disguise?” Gavin desperately wanted to open his eyes now.

“What are you talking about? It’s fine.” Another pause, Gavin imagined it was full of Ryan giving Michael a doubtful stare. “Alright, well, text me if you need something. Or if he needs something. And if he gets worse, or whatever – let me know. I’ll see you guys.” Footsteps, and a door swinging shut. Gavin exhaled very slowly through his nose.

“I know you’re awake,” Ryan murmured. Gavin cracked his eye open. “I could practically feel you spying on us.” Gavin answered with a smile, and Ryan rolled his eyes, his lips twitching despite himself.

“What were talking on about?”

“Couldn’t you tell?” Gavin shrugged, content to play dumb for the moment. Ryan shut the laptop he had been using, carefully putting it under his chair and resting a tote bag – which Michael had probably given him – on top. “The rest of the Crew’s getting… antsy about what files you might have found when you got that USB drive into the computers at their base. It’s all encrypted but you can figure it out, I imagine.”

“I mean, yeah, probably. I could take a look, but you’re probably going to say no, yeah?”

“No’s right. So far as we know they were just distributing drugs; no reason to treat them like a gang going to war with us yet.”

“Even if they did set up a bomb in their sham base and have it detonate when we tried to leave?”

“So they’ve got secrets and don’t want competition. We don’t have the resources or the man power to go off on a crusade just yet.” Gavin hummed, trying to remain somewhat reasonable. Ryan had a point, as he usually did.

“So you’re trying to put off any retaliation for as long as you can?”

“Any rash retaliation.”

“Ooh, going behind Geoff’s back using me, huh? That’s dirty, I like it.”

“What? It’s not just that. I wasn’t lying about you being out of commission either. You still can barely sit up right now.”

“I can sit up. You saw me walk to the bathroom earlier and everything!”

“After I saw you fail to sit up and need me to pull you to your feet, yeah.” Gavin sighed. Stupid Ryan and his stupid points.

---

He was out in the desert. There was grit in his teeth, sand digging into the side of his face where he was laying. He squinted, seeing the fiery remains of a blown out building. The hideout he went to inspect. He knew he was injured, but he didn’t feel pain, not yet. Instead he kept staring, watching the flames crawl up in the sky, higher and higher. The glass blew out of the windows, leaving smoking holes in the building.

A figure stood in the upper floor. Somehow, their shadow was darker than the smoke. Gavin squinted, trying to breathe in something that wasn’t kicked up sand or ash.

It was Ryan. No. The Vagabond. Still in the skull mask, melting from the heat. He didn’t seem to react any other way, just standing in the window, watching him as black rubber dripped down his face.

Another part of the building exploded, chunks of brick coming right towards him.

Gavin sat up in bed, breathing harshly. He was distantly aware of how his abdomen pulled and stretched painfully from his use of those muscles. He sighed, running his hands through his hair, then pressing them to his eyes for a moment. It was a bad dream, even if it was very loosely based on real events. “Just a dream,” he whispered to himself. When he moved his hands away, he realized it was nighttime, and Ryan was gone. A dim light shining from the room’s entryway suggested he was in the bathroom, or had at least left the light on, should Gavin need stumble his way to the toilet at two in the morning.

…Which may have been the case. With a steeling breath, Gavin swung his legs to the side and stood up, hobbling over to the bathroom door. It had been left ajar, so Gavin just pushed it the rest of the way open. He squinted as his vision filled with bright light.

“…Ryan?”

Ryan’s sweater was tossed over the closed toilet lid, and the man himself stood at the sink. Gavin could see a flash of red from the mirror, and when Ryan turned to face him, he realized the color was from an angry line of broken flesh along Ryan’s side, which the other had tried to patch up with thread. It was holding, but it obviously wasn’t healing well, if the irritated look and the mess of bloodied gauze in the sink was any indication.

“I thought I shut the door,” Ryan mumbled after a pregnant pause.

“What happened?” Gavin hissed, stepping further into the room in case Ryan got the idea to shut him out.

“Nothing I can’t handle. I’m just changing the bandages.”

Gavin’s eyes grew wide, hand coming up as though he was about to reach out and touch Ryan’s wound. “You got hit in that explosion, didn’t you?”

“It’s nothing, Gavin, go back to bed.”

“It’s not nothing, Ryan. Look at it! It’s infected, or – it won’t heal right.”

“It’ll heal just fine, Gavin,” Ryan snapped. “Stop yelling so I can patch it up.”

“We’re in a hospital!” Gavin said, edging closer, hand still outstretched. “Why don’t you have them fix it for you?”

Ryan turned around, face twisted into a scowl. His mouth was opened, ready to hurl another insult, but he didn’t seem to realize how close Gavin was, or where his arm was; instead Gavin’s forearm knocked painfully against the gash, and Ryan hissed through his teeth, pressing hard at the wound. Gavin looked on for a moment, the way Ryan hunched from the pain. He backed up a step. Then another, gears turning in his head.

“Ryan,” Gavin said slowly, “I’m gonna call the nurse. And you’re gonna make up some bullshit story, and you’re gonna get actual stitches. Please.” Ryan frowned, fingers pressing harder against his side. “For me?”

The renewed pain did most of the convincing, and after a moment Ryan’s stance wilted. “Fine. For you, Gav.” Gavin internally breathed a sigh of relief. Even though Ryan had said yes, he didn’t take his eyes off the other man, backing out of the bathroom to maintain a line of sight for as long as he could. He dashed towards the bed, hitting the call button with his thumb before edging back to the bathroom’s doorway. Ryan hadn’t moved, still staring out at him.

His eyes were blue, so blue, and Gavin would have given anything to have his sunglasses on, to be able to look away without the risk of losing whatever game they were playing.

Both their heads snapped towards the entryway when one of the nurses knocked on the door and let herself in.

“My husband hurt himself,” Gavin said immediately, pointing at the side he was still holding, “and he didn’t tell anyone.” Ryan shot him a glare.

“Yes, thank you, dear, I was about to tell her that,” he supplied.

“Well you didn’t the first time around, did you?” Gavin replied, more than a little righteous.

The nurse gave Ryan a look that very much meant he’d be getting an earful later. “Why don’t we have you fill out some paperwork while we wait for an exam room to open, sir? Follow me.” Ryan hastily grabbed at the sweater still on the toilet, pressing it to his side. He glanced over at Gavin.

“Uh, is it possible that – afterwards – I can come back here? I don’t want to… leave my husband alone for too long.” She looked between the two of them.

“We’ll see what we can do.” She moved to the side, sweeping her arm so that Ryan walked in front of her.

“See you soon,” Gavin murmured. Ryan gave him another glance. It wasn’t icy or heated or annoyed. It was something else. Something he couldn’t place.

Before he could try, Ryan murmured a “see you,” before ducking out of the room. The door shut behind them.

Gavin sighed, looking down at himself. There was a small smear of blood along his forearm. He washed it off in the sink, tossing away the bandages. He splashed water on his face. Somehow, despite the drugs and residual tiredness, he had a feeling he wasn’t going back to bed just yet.

---

Gavin was refreshing his twitter feed for the seventh time when Ryan walked in, wearing a blue sweatshirt with the name of the hospital along the chest. “Hey,” he said, shutting the door. Gavin saw he was still favoring his injured side. Actual stitches probably pinched more than the gauze and fairy dust that Ryan had been using to keep himself together before.

“Hey. Nice shirt.”

Ryan tugged at the hem of it. “Yeah, well. Something about not wanting to put on an old sweater covered in dried blood, I guess.”

“Could’ve just called someone and have them bring a shirt down.” Ryan gave him a look. “What, you could have done.”

Ryan sighed, and instead of sitting down in his usual arm chair, he sat on the edge of Gavin’s bed, by his waist. He angled his body so he didn’t have to twist himself to look over at the younger man. “I’d appreciate it, if, um. You didn’t tell them about – this.”

“And miss out on prime blackmail material?” Gavin said with a smirk. The way Ryan was looking at him made him think his attempt at a joke had fallen flat. “Hey,” he started, touching Ryan’s arm. “Did you know when you first joined the Crew, that I kind of hated you?”

“You didn’t hate me,” Ryan said immediately. “You were scared of me.” Gavin felt a flush rise to his cheeks.

“Well – same thing.”

“No. Hate and fear and definitely different things.”

“The point is, either way, I wasn’t real keen on you. Thought you were, well – all the stuff that made you scary. You were the Vagabond, and you’d probably find out where I lived and slit my throat, or something. Michael said I was being a prick about it, but you know how stubborn I can get.” He picked at the jagged line of his thumbnail for a moment, trying to get his thoughts straight. “Then there was this time, after some job we did or something, and everyone went out to celebrate, got absolutely trashed, and you, ‘cause of course you don’t drink – had to take us all home. You even had to take Geoff n’ me through the door.” Watching up through his eyelashes, he saw Ryan crack a small smile. “I guess the right word’s selfless. And dealing with drunk people is absolutely the worst. ‘Specially us. Guess after that I started thinking, well, there’s more to you than a mask. You’re one of us. Really, properly, one of us.” He let out a small cough, mouth feeling dry for more ways than one. “Guess what I’m getting at is – you are more than a mask, Ryan. Even if its… convenient for you to not be, most of the time. Doesn’t mean any of us see you as this unfeeling evil mastermind or something. Doesn’t mean you should see yourself that way either.”

He could see Ryan twist his mouth the way he did when he was trying to work out a problem in his head. It carried on like that for a handful of agonizing, pulling moments, him curled up in the hospital bed he was getting increasingly sick of, Ryan hunched in that blue sweatshirt that was maybe even more ridiculous than the sweater he once had on. Is this what he looked like on the odd weekend, Gavin couldn’t help but think – did Ryan have an old hoodie and sweatpants that he’d lounge around in all day? What did he do in those quiet moments when there was no mask, no face paint, no jacket; just himself, the man, and no one else around to put on an act for? Ryan’s eyes flickered back over to him and he stiffened slightly, as though the other could read his thoughts.

“So you’re not going to tell anyone?” he reiterated.

“Uh – not if you quit being an idiot and admit if you need help,” Gavin said slowly. Ryan sucked on his teeth, nodded once, and stuck a hand out.

“Then we have a deal.” After a second, Gavin reached out, shaking Ryan’s hand once. His fingers were calloused, rough, and warm.

They parted, and the other man gingerly sat down in the hospital chair. Gavin put his phone on the bedside table, curling up on his side to face Ryan. “Stiches hurt?”

“I always forget how unpleasant they are when they first put them in.” Gavin winced in sympathy, grateful in retrospect he was unconscious when they dug around at him. “Didn’t help that I waited so long before getting them done right.”

“How’d you manage that?”

Ryan shrugged a shoulder. “Once they put you in for surgery I snuck around and found some supplies. I figured I’d be set for a few hours or so, but when they finished with you and said you couldn’t leave for a while…”

“You could have left,” Gavin said pointedly. “I wasn’t going anywhere. Wouldn’t have even known you were gone, matter of fact.”

“Gavin, we had all almost been blown up. Excuse me if I was feeling a little paranoid. If those guys somehow were able to trace our whereabouts, I mean, hell, we’re both practically sitting ducks right now. I don’t think they’re tracking us, but…”

“You didn’t want to risk it,” Gavin finished, “got it. You’re rather thoughtful, aren’t you?”

Ryan yawned, pressing a fist to his mouth. “I’m full of thoughts, might as well put some of them into action.” He slumped further into his chair. “Forgot how much getting proper medical attention will take out of you, too,” he added.

“Gonna go to sleep?”

“Might as well.” Ryan had been gone a few hours, but it was still dark outside, for now.

“Can’t be comfortable in the chair.”

“It’s not,” He shifted again. “I’ve made it this far.”

“Well now I know you’ve got fresh stitches in you – maybe we can switch spots?”

“No – you’ve got it worse than me, you need the bed.”

“You’re going to get a neck cramp or something.”

“I can handle a neck cramp, Gavin.” Ryan replied easily.

“Well – we could try to share, I guess,” he said. “You know, technically the bed’s bigger than a twin. We could squeeze.” Ryan’s brows raised minutely.

“…You sure?”

“We’re both tired, and –” Gavin couldn’t exactly explain what else. Something had obviously shifted between them in the last couple of hours. A silent admittance of something that they knew was there, but didn’t realize was a mutual feeling. They’d had a ‘moment’, as Michael probably would have said. Didn’t that count for something? He moved to the far side of the mattress and turned down the covers. “Come on.”

Gavin was half surprised when Ryan actually got up, kicking off his shoes and slowly settling into bed, facing him. Immediately it was obvious that it was a tight fit. Parts of them were either pressed together or nearly touching; Ryan’s body heat immediately flooded against Gavin’s front, and a warmth settled in his stomach. Ryan rearranged the pillows into something more comfortable. “This alright?” he asked. Gavin honestly didn’t know what bit he was referring to.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine,” he said, not sure where along Ryan’s face he was allowed to linger on. Instead he just closed his eyes, willing himself to the edge of sleep. Ryan was here, he rationalized. He was safe. They both were. There was no reason he had to stay up and wait any longer.

He fell asleep much sooner than he thought he would.

---

A nurse coming to check on their vitals woke them up; in the back of his mind, Gavin was thankful their cover story had them legally married. Somehow it made it a few degrees less awkward.

Even when they were alone again, Ryan stayed in bed with him, staring up at the ceiling. Gavin’s chin rested on the top of his shoulder.

“Now that we’re both patients,” Gavin started, “how’re we gonna get out of here?”

“Not up for sneaking out?” He shook his head. “I texted Michael last night, said we’d probably be ready to leave by today. I’m sure he’s planning something.” Gavin hummed in acknowledgement, staring blankly up at Ryan’s profile.

“Being here is not fun,” he managed. “Glad you decided to keep me company.”

“I guess I’m glad you forced me to get stitches.”

“You guess.” Ryan chuckled, turning to face Gavin full-on.

“It’s nice to have someone looking out for me, then. Even if I didn’t think I needed it. How about that?”

“Better.” Their noses were nearly touching, they were so close. Ryan looked soft; bags under his eyes and the sunlight hitting his hair, pillow creases on his cheek.

Gavin was still surprised to find out that Ryan’s kiss was as soft as he looked. In all honesty, he had expected something harder; Ryan trying to get a reaction out of him, or gain an upper hand, like a mind game. Or maybe he just never wanted to think about it, was too afraid to put the effort into it and feed the thought more power. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, not because of nerves, but because Ryan’s fingers were nervously hovering just above them, wanting but unsure if he could touch.

Carefully, Gavin reached up, his own hand tucking along the side of Ryan’s neck, and then he felt fingers brushing the hair along his nape.

Gavin hadn’t really thought about what it would be like, him and Ryan. There was always… something there, but it had never been made concrete. He just got the impressions of things, how they’d clash and fit together. Their usually erratic sleep schedules; who would make the coffee. Would kissing someone with a beard feel too rough after a while? Ryan weaved the perfect couple story so easily for him at the hospital; could it have been like that? Would it have been? It was all probably too much to think of, this early in the morning with so little sleep. Or maybe Gavin would never be well rested enough to have all the answers when it came to the man that was still kissing him, holding him carefully, sharing the too-small hospital bed.

The sound of a phone buzzing drew them both apart. Ryan reached for his cell, squinting adorably at the screen as he made out the letters. His mouth turned, before splitting into a grin.

“Text from Michael,” he said, showing Gavin. “Breakout in fifteen minutes. Keep a lookout for Lindsay.”

“He’s dragging Lindsay into this?” Gavin asked with a groan. Ryan kissed him again in answer.

---

Fifteen minutes later, and it turned out Lindsay was an absolutely necessary element. She opened the door dressed in cat-covered scrubs, pushing a wheelchair. “Get in, fucker,” she said, gesturing to the thing. Gavin did not feel particularly at ease getting situated in said wheelchair, even as Ryan kept up the pace, walking by his side. Lindsay actually chatted with a doctor while they all shared the elevator going down. Then, as they passed reception, she let out a good hearted laugh. “Man, hospitals are too trusting.”

“You could say that,” Ryan answered, walking through the front parking lot. Michael was waiting for them in a nondescript car, honking the horn when they caught his line of sight. Gavin managed to slide into the back seat without hurting himself, and Ryan joined him. Michael and Lindsay sat up front, neither noticing the way Ryan very carefully drew the seatbelt over himself.

“Are we just leaving the wheelchair there?” Gavin asked, as they pulled away.

“Apparently,” Ryan muttered, looking out the back window. “I wouldn’t have minded a free wheelchair.”

“’Course you wouldn’t,” Gavin said, before tapping on the driver’s seat in front of him. “Michael! How you feeling, boi?”

“Eh, got another scar, but I’ll live.” They pulled onto the highway. “What about you? How was it being Ryan’s fake husband for half the week?”

“Did you have to kiss?” Lindsay asked.

“You always want my friends to kiss,” Michael complained.

“I mean, you could kiss your friends, but you always say no.”

“Because I’m literally married to you! Why would I try to go around kissing other people?’ That devolved into an argument between the two of them. Gavin let out a breath and relaxed into his seat. Hanging out with Ryan had been fun, but he had missed everyone else, too.

As he relaxed against the leather, his arm stretched out, catching Ryan’s hand. He nearly pulled back, but Ryan was faster, entwining their fingers and giving a quick squeeze. He looked over. The older man was staring out the window, but Gavin could practically feel the smile the other had on.

Gavin felt himself smile at the thought. He squeezed back.

#Ragehappy #Freewood #teamcrazydicks #oxfordsemicolonrebel #rhss17

61 notes · View notes

ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse · 7 years

Text

Tagged by @snowcatmoon ayyyyyyyyy nice thanks i lo v e doing these things

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 people. (but not rly bc i’m a nerd who never knos who to tag so basically if u see this and u wanna try it go for it my dude!)

LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: i mean if this is like personal calls it would be my mom calling me @ work but if not it would be a person calling @ work to talk to my boss 3. Text message: uhhhhhh i don’t have a phone so i can’t text but my last fb message was abt my follower count 4. Song you listened to: tally hall - & 5. Time you cried: I frustration cried a little yesterday

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: what is this word, dating 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: kissing? completely foreign concept what’s that 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: Have u Seen Me i am a Wreck At All Times 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. vibrant or saturated Reds 13. greens across all spectrums 14. warm metallic colors like gold or bronze but not silver bc it’s ugly imo

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yah! a precious girl who comes into the library p often, she told me abt the story she’s writing and it’s rly cute nd funny and she’s sweet she gave me some of her ar 16. Fallen out of love: nope 17. Laughed until you cried: often lmao 18. Found out someone was talking about you: idk man i’m boring what would they have to talk abt? my sleep patterns? lmao 20. Found out who your friends are: nah not so far this year 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: there’s that word again!!! kissing what is?

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: can’t remember bc i unfollow them and soft block them from all my posts when it happens so honestly i forget they exist lmao ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 23. Do you have any pets: Yah!!!!!!!! archie my love, and two betta fish! 24. Do you want to change your name: yes plea s e 25. What did you do for your last birthday: uhhhh 26. What time do you wake up: a brief moment at 5 to feed my son (archie) and then usually anywhere from 10:00 AM to 2 PM. Depends if i have work 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: FIGHTING A FUCKING CHEATING AI IN A GAME 28. Name something you can’t wait for: leaving this fucking hole of a town i live in rn

29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: this morning 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: FDAHS;KJL just ONE (1) thing???????? 31. What are you listening to right now: Tally Hall - & idk man i just rly like it

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i..... don’t???? know????? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Being POOR(tm) 34. Most visited website: TUMBLR, YouTube, and fb so i can talk to most of my friends

35. Mole/s: idk 36. Mark/s: idk???? 37. Childhood dream: veterinarian but i gave up on that bc i’m super squeamish 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: what is this crush thing you speak of? 41. What do you like about yourself: i am a god damn fiLTHY TRASH GOBLIN/DEMON AND IT’S FABULOUS 42. Piercings: the standard ear piercing you get when ur little but i’m allergic to metal so i can’t actually wear earrings (however, despite years of never wearing earrings, the holes haven’t actually ever closed so i still could if i wished which i don’t bc no thanks it gets itchy and hurts)

43. Blood type: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 44. Nicknames?: hoo boy okay any and all variations one can spin on my name (rachel) and: squisheebug (nobody calls me that anymore but it’s become my art handle so i still use it for myself), one friend sometimes calls me kitten, and a bunch more tbh i have so many 45. Relationship status: Single Pringle Not Looking To Flamingle 46. Zodiac: libra scorpio cusp 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show: mH i am bad at picking just one favorite lmao 50. Right or left hand: Right-handed 51. Surgery: Not technically? i almost had surgery once when i was like eleven bc the doctors srsly thought i had gallstones but it was actually just acute stress and emotional trauma related pain (i also had a lump of tissue removed from my neck but idk if that counts) 52. Hair dyed in different color: i’m scared it would mess my hair up too much 53. Sport: i don’t sport but i love watching ice skating videos 55. Vacation: i have never been on Vacation(tm) unless you count the trip the seniors took after graduation which was just to make sure that we didn’t Do Drugs. However, ideal vacation would be going across the world visiting abandoned and really old (or haunted) places bc i love that shit i eat it up W/ a S p o o n 56. Pair of trainers: is that like... tennis shoes/sneakers? bc?? i have a pair of converse??

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: hot cheetos 58. Drinking: an otter pop 59. I’m about to: get ready for work 62. Want: A house in my very own forest and for nobody i didn’t like to ever visit me and also the complete destruction of capitalism and world peace and the complete deconstruction and rebuilding of our government and far more time in one life than currently exists and abt a billion other things but on the more “realistic” (yeah right not in this economy) sidei just want to not live in an apartment anymore, i want to live in a house (also to meet a bunch of my fav youtubers i’d LOVE that) 63. Get married: maybe idk i’m not violently against it but it’s doubtful 64. Career: i wanna be an animator ahfsdlkjsdafagdfs 65. Hugs or kisses: currently: neither! Hands Off Pls 66. Lips or eyes: both preferably but u kno we can’t be picky 67. Shorter or taller: aaaa who cares?????? 68. Older or younger: doesn’t matter idk 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both! tummies are so cute and arms are Good for Hugging (when i’m not touch repulsed) 71. Sensitive or loud: what is the correlation between those two they aren’t opposites what 72. Hook up or relationship: bitch miss me w/ hookups if i ever do date somebody it’s gon be ride or die it’s gon be Commi T m e n t(tm) 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: why

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: No 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yah 77. Turned someone down: probably? if so i wouldn’t have known 78. Sex on the first date: St O p 79. Broken someone’s heart: Probably not? i’m not the most Lovable(tm) person, as far as i kno nobody has even liked me lmao 80. Had your heart broken: yah but like?? platonically 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: only ppl i didn’t kno that well have died around me but if i even THINK one of my friends might die i start bawling my eyes out and can’t stop 83. Fallen for a friend: ??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84: Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: nope 87. Santa Claus: yesssssss but the concept of him not the actual jolly fat guy who brings presents. 88. Kiss on the first date: I DON’T UNDERSTAND DATING (just leaving @snowcatmoon‘s response bc i’m laughing rly hard and same)

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: what are u just supposed to have one? 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movies: *rolls out a mile long list* okay do u want this alphabetically, in order from the first time i watched it? in order of How Many times i’ve watched it or?

i am not going to tag anybody bc i am an eg who doesn’t know ppl to tag so!!!!! if u see this and u wanna try it like i said before!!!! feel free to pls!!! also if u do i’d love it if u tagged me in it bc i’m curious abt who all follows me aaa

#have fun peeps

1 note · View note

survivormuxloe · 5 years

Text

Episode #1 & 2: "so that was fun, and by fun I mean hell" - Ahrre

So I'm so confused right now lol. Like I feel like discord should have a similar format to skype, but maybe I'm just dumb and cant figure it out. Also the only people I know/heard of are on the other tribe which is fun. Hopefully I can set myself up so my lack of understanding Discord doesn't make me look like a liability to the rest of my tribe.

we legit just got into our tribes.. missus sweyn.. LOL. i legit don't know ANYONE!! APART FROM MY BABY RYAN!! LIKE WHO ARE THESE PPL? liek i've heard of rhys and malik from like other orgs but the other people like god.. why can't I just have my circlejerk like in emvv. ): and idk WHO IS EVNE ON THE OTHER TRIBE WHICH MAKES IT WORSE I COUD HAVE LIKE A BUNCH OF RLY STRONG PLAYERS who are gunna win every single immunity challenge.. and i ain't wantin to go premerge nnn. uhm. ya. thats my mood rn. Xo

Oh wow, hi it’s me, Mo. I’m going into this game with an advantage of not having a social life so I can be more active. I like my tribe so far everyone’s really nice. I only know Fabricio because he won the game I got PoTS on. But I think I’m going to withhold that information of him winning his last game because I kinda wanna be allies.

First impressions of my tribe, they’re pretty cute I guess I like people well enough but I’m always nervous about pre existing relationships people may have in other communities so that’ll be fun to manoeuvre around my plan is just to lay low be social and hopefully not stick out as a target

deadass the challenge has barely started and wes already has 2 images.. meanwhile his ass has prob spoke in the tribe chat like once and he aint comin in my pms anytime soon so. LAMJHNFG . better hope his social game saves him over the physical x

this is my 3rd one already but this is important. linus is the first person to say haha to me. TWO! FUCKING! HA'S!!!!!! JUST SAY LOL!!!! SAY LMAO!!! IDGAF!! Omg this is geniunely my pet peeve and i wanna scream a a a a a a a a a a aa

Man, I'm back with Tobi from Survivor Ko Chang and that scares me to death. He claims he wants to start on a clean slate with me and work together again, but I don't trust him one bit and the first opportunity I have to take him out, I'm gonna do it, cuz I can't have somebody like him around. Bad for my game.

On the other hand of the spectrum, I know Michael from Zwooper and we've always had a good relationship so I think that's one person I can fully align with right out of the gate. I've also worked up some social connections with Dani, Jose and Ahrre so far, and they all seem pretty chill for the most part.

Right now, my focus is to win. I'm gonna go hard in this first immunity challenge and rack up as many points as I can. Losing the first challenge always sucks and I wanna make sure that doesn't happen for me again.

Okay im like mad excited to play this game. One Ive been kinda down, and this should help me be able to invest my time into something and potentially help me feel better.

Seeing this cast. I love it. I have really only worked with Felix in a past org before but we havent talked in ages. So I dont have any past connections which feels great because I hate people assuming were working together because were friends?. So this wont happen this season which is great.

So far my tribe is okay. Havent had a chance to speak alot to everyone yet. However the people I have done are alright. So far my favorite person is Scott or Scooty Toots. Hes British as well as me, he's 18 and we're both starting University without a clue what were doing. Like twins?!? So hopefully he feels the same way about me too.

Alliances are key. I want to make a few smaller ones to form a majority for me. Like two allainces of three. Giving me 4 allies. Not sure if this will happen soon or not, but its my goal to take control of this game, as Ive never done it before. I dont want to come across as controling however so smaller groups is the way to do it in my head.

Omfg y'all...... The game started like maybe 16 hours ago and I have barely spoken to most of my tribe bc I was a lil busy last night & had some damage control to handle in EMVV but like..... ??? I already found the idol in the Play Room CTFUUUU. We fucking stan. I immediately told my son Scooty because he's my bae.... I haven't had my hands on an idol in an org since like...... 703 San Marcos when I was voted out w it in my pocket (i think?? i cant remember any others so..) so BEST BELIEVE I'm going to use this correctly. THAT IS MY MAIN MISSION. I'm craving that satisfaction of a successful idol play...... I would love to cross that off my imaginary org goals list..... BUT WHEW I'M PUMPED.

I am making a pact with myself to not be an overly annoying gamebot this season because I just wanna have fun with it and make it a chaotic season, and this lil buddy is gonna allow me to be as extra and messy and turbulent as I please <3 big dick energy

Helloo so here I am doing this org thingy so you're stuck with my thoughts of regret until I die, or you could just not read them that's also an option.

Anyhow god save the queen blabla after more time that it should've taken me I get that I'm in one of two tribes of 9 which is kinda good because with snaller tribes I feel lime everything is more claustrophobic and shit hits the wall the moment we lose a challenge. But with 9 players imo I feel more relaxed.

So summary of who am I stuck with, there are a few who I know from before so let's start with that.

First off Jose, already played an org with him and we were good allies so my first instinct was to call him a bastard and hey he took it well so hopefully it will be a smooth sailing with that lad.

But after Jose I don't expect the meta to be kind to me.

Michael and Mo were both in my last org and I blindsided them both. Tbh they were good allies until that point so I'm more than willing to work with them in this game, hopefully they feel the same way.

But anyhow then there's Felix who I think I technically played with? We meet during a merge and he went out early without us ever talking much so really this is gonna be my first time really playing with him, he's the only one that I haven't talked to yet though I hope he gets online.

Then there's Tobi. I've heard of him and from the get go he strike me as a very straight shoot-y player. Those are always interesting to play with so let's see how that goes.

There's Dani, she seems nice and compared to Tobi she seems more social instead of strategy focused but then again it's been one day and I'm talking out of my ass.

Then there's jaylen who seems nice aswell even if I haven't talked much to him.

And finally David the absolute unit, and I say that bc he instantly started focusing on the challenge, which is a breath of fresh air plus he's Canadian so what's not to like thus far.

Talking about the challenge I get anxiety by just looking at it, scavenger hunts are always hard for me bc I live with people and I want them to remain thinking I am a normal member of society so I always need to be sneaky to do this crap, plus I don't have a car or anything so I have to use public transport if I need to go anywhere.

Apart from that well I would like to set up a 5 man majority alliance just to be safe, my only fear is the ever so feared overplaying-doom. But I feel like someone like tobi would jump on that idea pretty easily so I'll have a chat with him about that idea.

Oh and also look at me I remembered to guess for the idol TWO times in a row. I could die this very same week doesn't matter that's already an improvement on my usual gameplay.

Hi since I’m required to do these once an episode, I’ll use this one to talk about my tribe and maybe a few on the other tribe that I saw were on.

Guacamole - They seem fun. I talked with them last night, but our convo went short because we played jack box together. They seem nice though.

Linus - Mix feelings. I can get a completely loyal Linus here, or a cutthroat linus, so I’m kinda wary right now towards him but the vibes I’m getting I don’t think he’s going to be an issue, atleast for now.

Madison/Madisin - She was also at the jackbox last night and I enjoyed her, she was dying laughing at the games and I thought she was funny. So hopefully I get a chance to talk to her today.

Malik - Who? Let’s not talk about that bitch.

Rhys - He literally waits until we’re in a game to talk to me, so I peep it. And you could say I should reach out to him but it’s annoying when I have and he doesn’t do it until we’re in a game together. Boggles the mind. If I can overcome doing that, so can you. But I enjoy our current coversation as of the moment.

Ryan - We just played Mount Olympus together recently and that was a bust for us both. I’m kind of hoping we can be on the same side since it’s been a while since that’s happened. However, Ryan says he just wants to have fun so I don’t fault him if he does crazy things down the road!!

Scooter - I don’t know about him yet. We haven’t talked at all but he seems interesting. Maybe I can give a better opinion when we talk.

Steven - Very hilarious and I’m also intrigued by him. His thinking and way of talking during the jackbox had me DYING I loved it. I think he’s my new favorite new person here so far.

Wes - I only saw him once but we haven’t talked yet so idk what to say. He said he’s from ndims and is an alias of someone, I just don’t know if I know the alias since I was on that site also. But hopefully it could be someone who knows me as Orlando.

Now for the people I know on the other tribe:

Ahrre - I cant stand him too much after our last season of JPORG. He has this self righteous attitude to him and I don’t like it. However, I warmed up to him a bit during the movie times we had been present for awhile back so hopefully if we see each other again, I won’t have that opinion anymore.

Big Tuna aka Danielle - YASSS I love ha! I know her from the Skype minis and she’s amazing. I hope I finally get to play with her for once in a non mini game ❤️

Felix - Felix is a fucking wildcard. I love him, but he has really pissed me off in games in the past, and I’m hoping this one won’t be like those other ones.

Jaylen - A mess but a friend! He plays how he wants and doesn’t care what people thinks or tweaking it to better it but that’s Jaylen for you! Accept it or don’t phew.

Jose - He’s a fucking snake at times LOL but he’s lovely. I wouldn’t mind too much of being on a tribe with him.

That’s all from me for now so hope I stay around longer to see how this season goes!

so the tea is that this tribe is drier than an old lady's pussy and its so hard to talk to these people... there are no personalities... the only people i feel mildly happy talking to are ahhre and jose... and the tea is that both of them asked to be allies w me im like o ok sis lets do this so i have at least like 2 votes i know abt... and i know david from a prior org but thats not really a good thing bc i fucked him over hardcore and like... he knows im a snake LKJHDFSLK I really don't know how to maneuver strategically with this cast butttt ill try my best hehe

Oh wow!! I can't believe I haven't made a confessional yet what a shocker. BUT HI! I'm kind of just trying to get myself acquainted with everyone in the group, I'm not as active as I'd like to be :C but I'm trying my best teehee. On the first night or so Linus, Malik, Stephen, Madison and I played Jackbox games and it was SUPER LIT and We bonded over that and I'm v happy about thatttt. (ofc I already know madison and I already love her but I haven't talked to her in game yet aklsdjf) I just started talking with Scooty today, or Scooty? I might just call him Scooty, ANYWAY yeah we got to talk about how we type similarly and that was nice, we bonded over that and it was littY. I also got to talk to Rhys!! He also seems like a neat guy - I still haven't talked to him a lot but I think he's cool. I honestly don't know who else is on the tribe, Wes and Ryan right? Wes and I talked a little bit, but barely. and Ryan hasn't talked to me at all lmao. Hopefully right now I've made enough connections though. I'd like to make tribe swap so I can meet more people and make friends lololol - wish me luck gang!

I’m getting along with everyone really well so I know I won’t be the first fine at the very least so I just need to lay low laugh and Kiki with everyone and hopefully I can survive for the long term

I’m doing the Scavenger Hunt and knowing me I decided to wait till the last two hours to do everything I can. So now I have an hour and a half to film a bunch of videos

Okay so talking to my tribe Im begining to feel less at ease with them. Mostly because most of them hardly seem to talk. Which dosent bode well for me. Could mean im on the outs and they dont like me. Or that They're all inactive.

Madison seems like the easy boot right now just because like, who?!?. Shes not been around Ive messaged her once and she left me on read.

So Steven had to leave but we still have to do the challenge as if he was competing which PROBABLY means were going to tribal. So ive been working on getting an allaince going. Ive talked to Malik and Brought the Idea of us forming a trio with someone. Luckly he picked Linus because I talk to him aswell. So fingers crossed we can get that going.

I also have a great feeling from Scooty aka scott. So like Hopefully i can get another trio with him going aswell. So then I will be solid untiill a swap.

I do have a concern that Scott and Ryan are close and Malik and Linus are close. More so that I would be their second choice out of the trio if one is made. However thats not going to effect me I dont think this early. So fingers Crossed.

uhm so!! STEVEN QUIT which im rly sad for two reasons. one for him bc i know he wanted to do well and i hope hes doing ok and i geniunely wish the best for him and the other reason is selfish bc i literally.. planted my seeds on him already? like. all that work for nothin. and now we sitting here actin as if madison aint afk and aint gunna submit nothing..

like its the only reason ive done these dumb videos so that i wont be seen as the weak link if we ever lose again almdlddg.. but uhm hopefully my seeds that are in rhys/jones keep me safe bc if madison gets out here i have ryan/rhys/jones to keep me safe.. so im not gonna be that upset if we lose LOL esp bc ik linus/malik r gunna be scary af later on

hopefully we win tho? so i dont have to deal with this stress? i dont wanna relive louvre where i visitted every single premerge tribal except for 2.. even tho i did well hehe uhm. YAH WE’LL SEE :)

I'm kinda bummed that this last challenge wasn't immunity anymore because we smoked the other tribe, LOL. But at the same time, I'm glad cuz I wouldn't wanna lose the challenge after one of my tribe members quit, that'd just be sad as fuck, LOL.

Also, I feel a good rapport developing further between Danielle and I. I feel like her and I can dominate this game together, but I can't get too ahead of myself here. The first couple of rounds are meant to create social bonds and I feel like I've done a good job of that thus far. Only person I haven't talked to is Jaylen and I'm okay with that, cuz if we lose the immunity challenge, he's most likely the first one to go.

Okay, thankgoodness that the challenge was changed to reward last minuet. Because we wouldve gone to tribal. Maddison is legit missing. I dont even care if we win or loose this next challenge because she needs to go.

So firstly that reward was weird like woo thanks pretty crown but there’s nothing else so I’m thinking that someone else has the clue and my best bet would be jaylen bc he got the Crown Jewels the most important piece. Overall I’m very nervous for this battleship challenge because in my mind it’s mostly luck based so my fate is really out of my hands.

Well, not much honestly but I'm gonna write a confessional for round 1 and stuff so I don't get a strike

The game is going okay I'm trying not to be aggressive talking to people, but just letting people come to me and make conversation right now honestly I'm trying to play UTR since I think considering madison doesn't exist right now I think I'm able to do that TBH. Hopefully it all works out.

I volunteered to do the battleship challenge thing because I have no life and it looked like no one else was gonna volunteer.

I actually know Linus he played with me in Epic SBB in Hell, so that's nice to not be going in with no connections period.

Sorry this wasn't that long but it's something I guess

If we lose probably another confessional will be writen but right now there isn't much to report

I’m for sure feeling a little bit more nervous now because a lot of this challenge is about being organised and teamwork and we could barely have someone sit out so fingers crossed

Heyo so we won the challenge so that was fun, and by fun I mean hell but hey we've got bragging rights, which is pretty much it since unfortunately Steven was medevaced out of da game so even though the other tribe lost they didn't go to tribal.

A bit annoying knowing you did that for nothing but oh well the other tribe seems to be having a rough time by itself with steven quitting and someone (Madison I think) not submitting anything lol

And I say for nothing bc technically we won reward but it was one of those first come first serve things and I only got seved a jpg image so nothing fancy there...

But at least now the next challenge is something where 8 out of 9 people on the tribe don't have to do anything and you bet your ass after that first challenge I'm gonna be one of the 8. David the unit took it upon himself to carry us to victory so godspeed lad.

However this challenge is pretty luck based so I'm saying fuck that I'm not talking my chances.

Following last confessional I talked to tobi about making an alliance and he was onboard, he proposed to have Jose on it which is great since that was my idea anyways, plus I told dani and she was also on board, and to finish up the hipotetical majority of 5 she said he was cool with Michael.

I haven't talked to him yet and Jose hasn't been online but hopefully we should be fine.

Ngl would like to have an alliance with david and felix too, david bc he seems like a total lad with the challenges and Felix because he later told me he felt the most confortable with me.

But regardless hopefully we won't even have to go to tribal (and if we do at least there are other options for the vote)

For now I shall be the dumb cheerleader of the bunch for a game of battleship.

Ahhh, I feel so bad that I lost the challenge for my tribe. I feel like going into a challenge with the weight of the win or loss stacked against you is huge. But I did come REALLY close and my tribe seems to respect that I almost got us the win. I don't think I'll go anywhere tomorrow for tribal, but you never know.

Yesss we won immunity. I’m happy we could after Steven left. They made our challenge a reward for that and we lost but it’s fine because WE WON immunity phew. And it’s all thanks to Wes. So far to me, Madison is looking the easiest vote off right now because I haven’t talked to her and I haven’t seen her so that’s my view on it. The three I talk to the most on my tribe are Rhys, Linus and Scoots. Then Ryan and Guacamole. Then Wes and finally Madison. I hope this game doesn’t pull a JPORG Fitzroy Island, I don’t wanna be screwed over by a random ass tribe swap. But I basically dig my tribe and hope that I won’t be the first to go.

Whew we won?! What. I thought we were gonna fuckin loose. Noah fence Wes.

Sad tings though because Madison is probably going to strike out. Oh well.

Ya boi still hasn’t gone to tribal so stay mad.

It’s fucking gross having to go to tribal council and I can’t be dealing but I seem to have found myself in two alliances with only dani connecting the two so I’m gonna work with dani to ride this middle ground and make it further

I’m going home omfg. I can’t really have a deep convo with anyone, which means I don’t have an alliance even though I’m sure one has been made ugh. I’m gonna focus on surviving this round then seeing what I can get set up next round. Wish me luck whew

I’m pissed because it’s super obvious that the other 7 on my tribe are in a mega tight alliance. Steven was my only alliance in this hole game, and like, he even told me he found an idol and then on his way out he didn’t even slip me the idol??? Can’t wait to be voted out 7-1 because he wanted a souvenir.

So the tea is that ahrre and I made an alliance of 5 which includes him, me, Jose, Dani, and Michael which I think is cute but they are really boring so meh idk I’ll just flip during merge x JDJSJD I’m a messy bitch

ugh i'm so glad we won immunity bc our tribe is already severely lacking in strong members bc Steven left us out to perish and Madison aint shown her face yet... so the numbers getting back to even is great for us <3

Right so unfortunately we lost the battleship game so that means we're heading to the first tribal of the game, fun stuff.

Now as we lost I got the Me-michael-jose-dani-tobi alliance set up. Meanwhile Felix was telling me that for him it was between Jose or Jaylen, since they've been the least active. Understandable but more understandable is that I'm in an alliance with Jose so for me it seems like it's gonna be Jaylen, who I also haven't spoken much with so I don't mind, albeit every tribal we go to before swapping or merging I see it as a potential ally down the line going home, which shucks.

Either way the alliance (and everyone else for that matter) agreed on jaylen, I also told Jose in kind words to get his shit together before he gets sent home but that's pretty much it. I'm gonna try to lay down for now I don't want to bring any unwanted attention to myself.

Hopefully tribal goes well.

youtube

Oh wow hi it’s me, Mo. Ok so currently the plan is to vote out Jaylen which I don’t have a problem with, it’s kinda sad because he is actually really nice but somewhat inactive. I’m on my way to get a burger and fries and I’m fucking ecstatic like I’m so fucking hungry it’s stupid. Also watch me get blindsided.

So we went into this chalenge on a high after wining the reward and I was the one who got the most points out of everyone :))). Although I’m nervous this will put a target on my back, I’m happy that I have kind of proven my dominance in this game! After losing the challenge, I’m upset!! This was all luck based which sucks! After that, I started talking more with Felix, David, Michael and Ahree. Within the span of like 30 minutes, I got added to 2 seperate groups. I was like “iiii” because this can get messy fast. Michael is in both of the groups as well so I don’t feel too bad because at least there is someone else in my position as well. I get along with Felix a lot and have had quite a few good convos with him! David seems to want to lead things in the group he made, which is whatever. Keeps the target off of me, especially if we go to tribal again. I expect to make more confessionals throughout the course of the game, usually videos but I’m pretty tired right now haha.

I just took a nap and there's no tribal and I'm always trying my best. My tribe doesn't hate me for some reason even though I sure would. Oh well. I really miss Steven I hope he's okay.

youtube

Steven quit half way through this episode. Then Jaylen was voted out 8-1.

#episode #royallyyours

0 notes

justafastfoodknight · 7 years

Text

i hope that by starting this post i’ll want to keep writing.. bcz rn i’m not too into it, but i know i have to.

well we got our new manager last week and it’s been alright.. she’s cool.. a little too into customer service and shit but whatever... she says she has a lot of plans to fix our store so we’ll see.

but speaking of that... i’m ready to change jobs again. it’s been like two years and I want to do something around people my age and shit. not sure what, but i’m gonna list some options maybe tomorrow. (i’m really hoping at some movie theater!!!!! :’))

been getting really fed up with my manager at the café who i was cool with. since one of the cooks recently had a baby he went on paternity leave for a week and the manager has been staying to close. he rips at me sometimes and like teases me about shit and it’s not enough for me to be so mad and tell him to blatantly fuck off, but when I ask him something simple and something that I really need answered he’ll just be like why do you wanna know? who is it about? it’s the who, what, where, when q’s all the fucking time.. it’s like dude I WANNA KNOW BUT U DON’T NEED TO. and also like I have no shame (as every girl shouldn’t) to let my hairs grow from my armpits and stuff and one time i was reaching for something and he saw and commented on it. it wasn’t like he was utterly disgusted, but more like why haven’t u shaved? and now he constantly teases me about it. and it’s like whatever but today i was like in a fuck u mood and he came at me with the same shit so i was like “fuck off i don’t need to fucking shave, it’s my body and i’ll do what i want. i don’t fucking belong to you and even if i did you don’t have the right to police my armpits and shit. you don’t shave so why should i?” and then the stupid shit reply of “because i’m a man i don’t need too” holy crap I now have no fucking patience to fight about something as simple in concept as this, to him. so I just told him to shut up and i walked away. he takes it like a joke and shit but like that’s the very beginning of feminism 101 and stupid men can BARELY handle hair still jesus christ it irks the fuck outta me. so yeah i’ve been bickering with him a lot and tbh having a shitty time there now.

the other day i got off of work about 20 mins before my second job so i just decided to sit down and wait it out. this dude at work that got hired recently named Freddy was on break and just decided to sit with me. at first I thought he was like 16 because he’s on the shorter side, but also has a huge baby face... turns out we’re the same age. he’d always work night shifts so i’d only say wassup or small talk and shit but never really knew much about him and visa versa. so he sat down and we just started talking.. like straight up and it wasn’t awkward. we started asking shit about each other and turns out he’s Guatemalan too... which explains his height lol. but yeah we talked out how he came here from there and how he’s in the process of bringing his whole family here and how he works two jobs and all this other stuff. then, as boys do, he asks me if i have a boyfriend. preface to this... i think or at least have a hunch that he has a crush on me because he looks at me a lot and laughs at the shit i say which is entirely stupid or just not funny. I tell him that i don’t. he then asks why and i say because i don’t need one/don’t want one. at this point i can tell that he’s a good listener and i’m the sucker ass bitch who has a big mouth and talks when anyone even shows the slightest interest so i keep talking.. I go on a rant, a real one, about my shitty habits. I tell him all about me on Tinder and my trust issues and not even feeling like anyone would like me in real life, and so on. Mind you, that I wasn’t fishing for compliments ok.. yeah I think this dude is cute, but not a crush really. I just wanted to tell the truth and kind of explain to someone to see if i could get a different perspective. I asked him if he was seeing anyone and he said no, but that it was ok because between two jobs and school, he didn’t think he could handle one. He then told me that I seemed like a cool person and that I wasn’t ugly (god it sounds awful as i type this, cheesy af) and I said thanks kind of and that I was kind of in the process of bettering myself and feeling more comfortable with me (which is true) and yeah. The dude is really nice and easy to talk to and it made me happy, because he actually listened. This was all in the span of 20 mins and then I had to leave. I haven’t talked to him like that since, but I really wanna hang out with him at some point.

now that we’re on the subject of dudes... here’s another one for ya. I’m not sure if i’ve mentioned the dude i matched with on Tinder, but yeah.. We’d been talking for maybe a week straight and then it kind of got boring and he wasn’t really saying anything for me to reply back to so I just didn’t. Then a couple days later he sends me a ‘what’s up?’ message. so i tell him what i’m up to, in detail to see if i can maybe start a convo and i ask him too and he gives me a really short answer and nothing to really go off of.. so i don’t reply again. and prior to this, on new years I was feeling lonely OK, and i told him we should have gone and watched a movie together, but i was sick as a dog by the time he replied and i was like it’s cool some other time. then he told me to let him know when i was free again like next week so i said i would.. but then after that i was like lol nah i don’t really wanna hang out, i’d rather be alone. but i know my bitch ass will start to feel lonely like in a week and do the same shit again. so i’ve been posting movie things on IG and he follows me on there so he sees that i’ve been free and going out. so tonight I went to go see Moonlight and it’s midnight when he sends me a message reading : “Hey so I know you’re not trying to talk to me anymore but I don’t want to give up on talking to you, you’re really cool and I wanna watch movies with you :) I sound pathetic but idc.” I don’t even know how to respond. Part of me wants to say like yeah let’s hang out and get this whole first bf thing over with and catch up on not being a virgin anymore and getting accustomed to being with someone but that’s like almost... not what i wanna do? part of it is fear, i’m not gonna lie. I’ve got major body/self confidence issues and shit but I also love being alone and watching movies alone and just being by my damn self. As much as i say i want someone to do those things with me, it’s like I’m not in the mood to prance around a new person acting a certain way because we only just met. I want to just be myself and not fuck it up. i’m angry at myself for being so analytical about this simple concept but it’s like who tf do i even talk to about this with? I’m starting to think I should get a therapist.

in other news.. I went to go get Pho with Kim the other day when it was raining :;’) (i love hot soup and cold weather!! and we talked about maybe doing a Galentines thing and going to go see The Notebook at the theater I’ve been dying to go to!! and we’re also planning on Dragcon again this year and she keeps telling me that her other friend really wants us to all get together and meet so we can have a sort of squad and that makes me really happy!!

I also asked Melissa if she’d like to go see Lost In Translation on the 11th apart of a valentine’s day thing and they’ll have kareoke and drinks and a photo booth and she said yea!! so before she leaves I’ll get to see a depressing ass movie on the big screen :’)

I should probaby do an update on TA, huh? well nothing has really happened. I got the hint that his gf was in town dud to him barely talking to me and i was right. they went out and did a bunch of shit in LA nd posted all of it on social media and it was kind of like aaaalright then. I mean it bums me out because he shut me out but then when she leaves he starts talking again ya know. idk i’m not gonna make it a thing to hang out with him anytime soon.

I have a long three straight days of working double shifts so i’ll be burned out soon enough, but i’m glad i got this all off of my chest.

now sashay, away.

#personal

0 notes