#shout out to phil defranco | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

incorrectly-quoted-queers · 5 years

Text

August 28th: Education Versus Outrage

Today a news source I watch (the Phillip DeFranco show, obviously) made an interesting point I want to dissect:

When people were outraged about a GMA anchor making an off-hand, poorly thought through comment about boys dancing, he had his own opinion. He agreed that excluding comments should be called out, but that re-education should be the response and not just pure outrage.

I have mixed feelings about that.

Recently, in my mental health journey as a person and a burgeoning platform, I have come to embrace my anger. So many things about the way world treats mental illnesses (and any disorders for that matter) leave me absolutely livid. I used to be scared of people seeing my disorders, of appearing palatable, but I understandably accept that is bullshit. I shouldn’t have to put on seventeen masked coats to make other people give me basic, human kindness and respect.

I’m tired of being the kind, quiet girl with a disorder, an outlier when most people expect a full-blown unsafe, unstable liability.

I am not the outlier. People like me just don’t speak up as often because nobody feels that comfortable with it.

But Phil does have a point, ignorant people can’t learn to respect me if they still are clueless and don’t understand. It’s easier to generalize people who look, feel ,act nothing like you’d expect, and disordered people are all of the above.

Yet, I don’t want to bury my anger and truth just to make my education palatable, which I feel like a lot of people do. And I also think most people’s platforms, right now, are about teaching nuerotypicals and giving disordered folk a role model and community.

But that’s not what I want. I want to show people who I am, nuerotypical or not, and I want my community to feel shameless in who they are. I’d love if it helped nuerotypicals not be dicks, but I think it’s more important to give people like me confidence and a voice.

So many people have the tools now to survive. But I don’t want us just to survive, I want us to thrive as our best selves, disorders and all.

There’s a bizarre line to walk between education and outrage, in my space. Outrage and emotion help air the feelings that people tend to be too afraid to talk about, shine a light on those dark corners people would rather ignore. Outrage is loud and raw and can get people to listen. It’s not perfect, though. I like making people listen, but I hate feeling like I’m shouting into a void and that fighting is the only way to get heard.

On the other hand, though, education can help include people in the conversation, can open more doors for understanding and growth. It just more easily falls in the trap of being passive, overtly kind, and act more like a mediator than an advocate. Not that anyone who leans hard on education doesn’t do a great, job, they are hecking invaluable for everyone.

For me, in my space of shamelessness? I don’t think full education route works, either. I can’t be soft of gentle about who I am. I am what I am and I want me to be honest and real about it, not just positivity junction to give people the best version of me.

Sure, I want to be my best self. But I don’t want to tell pretty lies to make myself easier to swallow.

I don’t want to leave out hallucinations or hard nights or scary mental turf wars just because talking about me being a healthy little good girl looks better for metrics.

I’m not perfect. If people want to call me out on that, I want them to. But most importantly, I want them to see me and people like me. I want to educate them on the fact we’re real, we’re not perfect, but we saved ourselves from dying and we deserve all the love and support and opportunities and representation that anyone else gets.

I do want to teach people about things, but I also don’t want to become a proverbial mental health Uncle Tom. I don’t want people to look at me and say “she’s a good one”.

No, I’m just one, like any other one.

Does that mean I should ignore education or become a full-blown call-out queen? No, not really. Neither of those are me. But will I still be angry when I explain, with literary analysis and psychology, why Shyamalan is NOT a mental health ally and how he needs to get his shit together?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

#bipolar #anxiety #ADD #disorders #creativelydisordered #disordereddaily #platform #education #outrage #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #m. night shyamalan

1 note · View note

anicegaykid · 6 years

Text

who dis?

#firstpost seems more daunting than it needs to be. Got myself all creative blocked up so here is a little diddy to get to know me better..

Are you named after anyone?

I am actually named after Jessica Wakefield from Sweet Valley High

When was the last time you cried?

tbh, I tend to flip from emotionless to SUPER emotional like 0-60. Sometimes no response, sometimes (like this afternoon) I see a beautiful pond surrounded in nature, being natural and beautiful, water sparkling in the sunshine and the tears just roll.

Do you have kids? If no, how many do you want?

No kids atm, but a couple kiddos would be nice in the near future

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

..like.. what.. ? am I just like a duplicate of me? Like am I the same person I am now and would I be friends with someone JUST like me? Or am I someone else? Who am I? Like, I enjoy spending time on my own?

Bottom line, I like me.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

100%

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

eyes, smile, lips, face bone structure

What is your eye color?

blue, sometimes they get a little grey

Scary movie or happy endings?

BOTH.

Favorite smells?

Citrus, patchouli, cut grass, peaches and strawberries

Do you have any special talents?

Talents include: fantastic with horses, very good dog mom, I can cook frozen pizzas to perfection -- if I don’t get distracted, designing queer tees, i can roll a pretty decent j, solid problem solver, got some wit and can be funny.

Where were you born?

Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, Canada

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in it?

Leo; I mean it IS surprisingly accurate like all the time.

What are your hobbies?

I am kind of in between hobbies right now.. I dabble in some things. I go to the gym like more than average, but I would like to go more - said everyone ever. I’d like to hike more, camp more, build more things out of pallets, you know.. the usual

Do you have any siblings?

I have a 21 year old brother and a 14 year old sister.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Life is pretty great tbh, I’d like to continue being happy with my little fam

Who was your first best friend?

My first best friend would have to be my cousin, Brittany. Like a sister.

How tall are you?

5′6″

What is the least favourite thing about yourself?

I wish I was a lot better at expressing how I feel.

Things that still bother me - my wife and I had a discussion about proposals and who would ask who. We landed on me asking her, which I did and am SO happy about, but the reason behind it being that I am so poor at expressing emotions that she was afraid it would affect her confidence in my response.

For a first TMI moment of the blog, I have so much anxiety in my ability to express myself that I can’t even manage to make any “noise” during sex. Doesn’t even matter that I am my most comfortable self with her, STILL struggle. A work in progress for me I guess.

Funniest moment throughout School?

There was a time when we were at a beach party when I was 17, the RCMP showed up to break it up and snag any and all intoxicated minors they could. The tide had recently come in, but where we were was a little dip in the side of the cliff so the path back to the road was water-covered. So someone peeks around the cliff to see the two Mounties wading through the water. This party crew are country-folk and are 100% ready for this situation with a wooden ladder that leads up the side of the cliff into a field close to where all the vehicles are parked. As party-goers are running through the field to cars, someone shouts, “PIT PARTY” and everyone heads towards the local Pit. Along the way someone with a truck steals a round bale from a field and uses it to create the BIGGEST bonfire I’ve ever seen.

How many countries have you visited?

like ~10

What was your favourite/worst subject in High School?

I struggled with math but funny enough my career path has led me to a life in the casino so I do math daily and enjoy it very much!

My favourite courses in High School were Conservation and Agricultural Science.

What is your Favourite drink? Animal? Perfume?

Coke Zero Cherry

Horse

Karma by Lush

What would you (or have you) name your children?

I really like Posy, Daisy, Freddie and Loren

What Sports do you play/Have you played?

I used to Figure Skate, Horseback Ride, Ringette

Who are some of your favourite YouTubers?

I’ve always been a Grace Helbig, Mamrie Hart, Hannah Hart fan

I like Phil DeFranco for news, Pewds for some lulz, love me some Tyler Oakley, Whitney Simmons and Chloe Ting to work the booty, Vox for learning, FunForLouis has some BEAUTIFUL imagery and plays to the traveler side of me and I recently discovered Will Smith’s channel and cannot get enough!

How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you had?

I have had an unsettling amount of bfs for a lesbian, but 2 of them really stand out as being genuinely decent guys and I would still hang out with, platonically, to this day.

I have had a grand total of 4 gfs, I married the fourth bc I got LUCKY AS HECK!

Favourite memory from childhood?

The day I got my first puppy.

One time I was gifted a horse for Christmas bc my Dad felt so bad that I had to have my first pony put down earlier that year.

I also was old enough to remember both my siblings being born!

How would you describe your fashion sense?

tom boy hyper femme

What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)

iPhone6s

Tell us one of your bad habits!

I bite my nails and chew my cuticles

3 things that upset you?

inequality

excessive force

did I say inequality?

3 things that make you happy?

Olivia

My animals

family

How is your relationship with parents?

My Mom is one of my best friends in this world! My Dad is an odd case, he struggles with my sexuality, I understand that it is because of where and when he grew up, he is never outwardly rude or mean to me, he’s a quiet country guy, he was at our wedding, he gave me away with my Mom, he’s kind to Olivia, he’s kind to me, he doesn’t understand but recognizes that it is real. I love my Dad, I really do. I’m proud of my Mom for educating him and ensuring that he is present and polite. I get frustrated from time to time and I have cried a lot of tears about it. Our relationship can be strange but at the same time hasn’t changed. He’s been a great Dad and he’ll be a fantastic Grampy. I have to check myself because there are people who are much worse off than me. I get jealous of Olivia sometimes because her Dad is so sweet to her and treats me like a daughter so easily, but my Dad has never been the soft spoken lovey type. We’ve hugged twice in my life. One of them was when I was leaving for England with a one way ticket and no foreseeable return plans and one was when he was jokingly blocking my path and I used it as a disarming mechanism to scoot through.

What’s on your mind?

All I can think about today is the fact that I became an aunt at 5AM this morning and I’m going to see his later this afternoon. I SO excited!

What’s your talent?

troubleshooting queen.

naturally creative to my own surprise.

One word that describes you?

patient

What’s your favourite quotes?

No Pride for some of us without liberation for all of us . Marsha P Johnson

We way too fly to partake in all this hate, we out here vibin’ . Ariana Grande

Any pets?

4 dogs:

Finnley - Great PyreneesXAustralian Shepard

Effie - Border CollieX

Shiro - DacshundXMiniature Australian Shepard

Moose - Great PyreneesXFinnley

2 Cats:

Priya - long haired tabby, kinda sorta Ragdoll’esque

Punkin - short haired orange tabby with a poofy tail

2 Beta Fishies:

King Push & Todd

What is the farthest you’ve been from home?

I lived in England for 2 years & travelled Europe for a month

Are you an extrovert or introvert?

I think TECHNICALLY an introvert? I can be v extroverted but I really need time to recharge. Recharging for me is being home with my comforts. My wifey, doggos, snacks and Netflix.

Are you left or right handed?

Right hander

Do you consider yourself a good cook?

Like.. sort of? I don’t cook much but when I do I always surprise myself with how well I do lol

Does your name have a special meaning?

It means my Mother was 18 when she had me and REALLY liked Sweet Valley High

If money were no object what would you get for your next birthday?

2 weeks away from home/work, road trip to Halifax for the fertility clinic, get started on a baby and then fly off to one of those tropical cabins on the water.

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I would love to have a few homes! A winter getaway BC. A condo in Halifax, NS and a cute little hobby farm here in PEI in some rolling hills somewhere in between Kensington and Charlottetown.

What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast?

I love chocolate chip waffles/pancakes, French style pastry breakfast, and when I’m feeling fab, some eggs benny on smoked salmon with a couple mimosas on the side.

What’s your favourite gadget?

I just got a Fitbit so thats been pretty exciting, aside from that, my phone is on me at like all times.

What’s your longest relationship so far?

My current one. We’re about to hit 4 years together, married for a little over a month.

#blog #firstblogpost #me #gettoknowme #photoset

1 note · View note