#so i think thats growth

[the-56th-court-jester]

HI

this is my first post. today is my birsthday !!!! :]

#i just cried for like an hour lmao #i told myself when i was 14 that if i hadnt killed myself by 16 i would get myself a little treat :] like a chocolate bar or smth #so thats pretty sick #but other than that. its my birthday and i think my only 2 (two) actual friends forgot lmao #and im not any less of a loser than i was at 13. i dont have a close knit group of friends that im comfortable with. #i dont have a significant other. i still think about killing myself every other day #i thought that by the time i was this age id be less. idk #less of a loser?? less ugly and id have more friends and id be less of a disappointment to my family and id cry less #instead i have the wonderful new addition of dysphoria to my life :] #i think at least i sort of grew as a person?? i know now that bein negative all the time kind of sucks #and it makes the people around me uncomfortable #so i dont do that. and i try to make sure i appreciate my family #cause idk when i was younger i was such a dickhead to my family #but now ik they care about me and i love them sm #im still jealous of my siblings (for many reasons) but now its like. theyre also like my best friends so #and i think i appreciate nature and just humans in general more #so i think thats growth #anyway lmao #i think i just wish i was less lonely???? but thats my bad im not too hot at making friends lol #anyway birthday rant over i love everyone #and i hope no one reads this lol #if theres anyone reading this #i hope u are having an absolutely wonderful day

[hysterical-cats]

the half-siblings of all time <3

#my art #cats the musical #cats musical #plato #plato cats #jemima #jemima cats #jemibub #babygriz #okay so #plato= mac + mysterious dead lady #jemima= mac + deme #babygriz= munk + deme #this jemi is meant to be a slightly older post-canon. like a teenager #i think she gets a late growth spurt and gets rllyyy tall #every time i draw jemi i think her eyes get bigger. thats fine #click on them to see the images in full size yall know the drill

[japeneselunchtimerush]

Me about Akashi: 🤏🤏🤏

#HE SO TINY #I say as I am 10 cm shorter than him #but to be fair Im taller than teiko akashi so it checks out #can we talk about how he has to look UP at Midorima #Also he looks itty bitty in the third picture #Like really small compared to the others #you know what Im going to assume that this is when everyone else hit their growth spurt while hes still 158cm #its the only explanation #thinking about he was eye level with nijimura's chest #thats how short he was compared to nijimura #it was 21 cm btw #akashi seijuro

[puppyeared]

i have an idea for a character design but what animals are usually associated with medicine??? the most common answer i got was snake, but i also thought of lab rats/mice, rabbits etc

#snake has the longest history with medicine especially since its shown on the rod of asclepius and the myths around venom #i also didnt know this but their shedding skin is referenced as symbols of rebirth and growth while their appearance resembles an #umbilical cord which gives it a really strong connection to health in some cultures.. although if i had to think abt modern medicine and #pharmacies the first thing i think of is white lab mice like pinky and the brain. for some reason i also thought of rabbits #bc of how its used for anti animal testing logos but thats more loose. however i did learn that the jade rabbit is shown to #use a pestle and mortar to create medicine in some stories so that could work...???? but its not as well known i think #i also thought of possums but that was more of an irony thing. same for bats but both are ironically really resistant to disease and act #as carriers. a death symbol like vultures or ravens/crows might work with a plague doctors mask but i feel #like that isnt the vibe im going for. black cat would be interesting considering superstition but im also on the fence abt that #actually what else is associated with medicine?? normally its stuff like pills crosses bandaids syringes etc #doctors coats and gloves.. especially plague doctor masks or medical masks in general but not much else huh #hand sanitizer and tissues.. pill bottles... blue nurse uniforms.. gauze and casts with signed names... hmmmm/......... #nurse dresses..??? sure?? i also see scalpels and knives but thats more for like. horror doctors for scary stories #im going for cute maybe even regular ass doctor vibe. like harvey sdv. or tony tony chopper #yapping

[steakout-05]

i might get some hate for this depending on where this post goes but i think lesboys are so valid and the discourse about them is so ridiculous. like you guys shouldn't have to deal with all that and it frustrates me that people throw hissy fits over an identity that literally does not affect them at all.

"but men cant be lesbians-" wrong. butch lesbians and trans men have a really closely connected history with each other that practically intersects and you should really do some research on that before you make blanket statements, not to mention that gender and sexuality is weird and wobbly and fluid and a very personal experience. it means a different thing to each person. being a man can be something completely different and saying stuff like this ignores people like demiboys, demigirls, genderfluid and genderflux people etc. these people will really preach "demolish the gender binary!! love is love!!" until someone's relationship with gender and sexuality is a little too freaky for them to handle and be challenged by lmaoo

"ohhh but what about the cishet men who say they're lesbians to prey on women-" YEAH WHAT ABOUT THEM????? THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM BRO!!!!! this argument also REEKS of terfy "trans women are just predatory men!!!111!!1" rhetoric and it grosses me out. yeah some men are gross and do try to pull this but that does not negate someone's entire identity completely just because of a few bad actors, you know that right? actual black and white behaviour.

queer discourse is silly and i don't know why it's a thing. just let people exist. it isn't that hard. we have worse things to worry about than whether someone calls themselves a lesboy or not. i think we need to unplug our ears and yank our heads out of the sand and remember that the queer community is what it is because of our unique and amazing diversity. arguing over labels like school children isn't gonna help that. damn.

#also this should be obvious but terfs fuck off go explode you are not welcome here this is a terf UNsafe space #terfs fuck off #terfs dni #terfs eat shit #terfs explode #this post is really random but i'm actually quite compelled and interested in queer discourse even though i think it's stupid and silly. #i'm compelled by how angry other people get over literally nothing and ironically i end up discovering some new identities and developing a #-newfound love for the diversity of our community #like i could be reading some shitty post about an identity i don't know about and all i would be thinking is ''that exists? thats so cool!' #and then i end up ignoring the bad post and research the identity and think ''man i love how queer we all are'' #exclus people seem really sad. like im not saying this to be mean i genuinely think they seem really frustrated by everything. #where's the joy in limiting your support and policing people around all day. where's the fun and growth in that. where's the learning. #i obviously cannot change people's minds but if i could then i'd make sure no one falls into the trap of being an exclusionist because that #-sounds like it really sucks. #going full hippie mode in the tags lol #i'd rather be a hippie than make allies with terfs #anyway lesboys are cool gender is an illusion buy gold bye

[ultrasopp]

Constantly fighting between trying to act So Normal and Casual about tog Oh yes ive heard of it haha yeah its okay VS i am thinking big thoughts about it all the time vibrating shaking foaming at the mouth bark bark bark rabies

Anyway the hill im dying on today is once again. Why is mr 1069 always depicted baby cheek smooth fresh shaved while crossing the ural mountains on foot in the year of our lord 1306. Not just him actually why are they all depicted as models. Make them uglier make them unconventional make them human

#txt #dont look at me #the undying queers have a chokehold on me #have been masking everywhere for 2 years+ now its embarrasing to b fandom on the fandom site #and the ‘put some hair on that beast (nicky)’ hill is the hill i will stand on forever ok #i know its prob bc the actor and bla bla but. thats not how shaving and beard growth works dammit. make it more realistic or i will bite #its also personal taste obvi where?? idc that much abt the actors looks?? i think its more effective to have some defining traits- #-and then ‘exagurate’ that whether it be ugly or pretty #rather than smooth them down to be as conventionally attractive as possible aka as boring as possible lol #which is nothing to do with the first topic and is more abt character design in general i guess? #can u tell i have no friends who r into tog so i talk to myself in the tags insted and then post for ppl to see LMAO

[theposhperyton]

All evidence suggests yes

#starting a new power scaling system for the warlords of the sea but im rating them based on whether i think theyre an ally or homophobic #kuma is an ally because photos dont lie and hes clearly wearing an ally pin #also you cant spend that much time around somebody with the title “Queen of the Queers” and somehow be homophobic afterwards #unless youre sanji but hes still on his internalized homophobia growth arc. i believe in you buddy you can beat this #crocodile is trans and baroque works is the alphabet mafia in a literal form #with that said. he has the energy of “im not homophobic yall are just annoying” #doffy has the energy of a homophobic homosexual #like hed kiss a guy and then call him a f*g and throw him out a nearby window #jimbei joins the strawhats so ofc HES an ally #blackbeard sucks but i dont think hes homophobic #hes one of those people you meet and theyre just the worst all around and youre like “man this guy has gotta be homophobic” #somebody mentions their partner and you go “oh boy here it is” but he just has no reaction whatsoever #hes such a problem but at least hes not homophobic on top of everything else #Gecko Moria is such a virgin that i dont think he knows being gay exists any more than he knows being straight does #Typa MFer who thinks “sex” is just a synonym for gender #also hed see your top scars and get excited because he thinks youre a zombie #gecko moria probably thinks LGBT is an acronym for some branch of the navy that he doesnt know (or care) about #Because Boa lives on Sapphic island i would jump the gun and immediately say she's an ally but i feel that its more complicated than that #not unlike moria. she also doesnt actually have a real strong grasp on being straight vs being queer #but thats just because shes used to everybody being whipped for her equally #somebody tries to explain it to her and shes just like “??? but theyre all obsessed with me?” #if she ever encounters a gay man it will be a reality shifting event for her #id say itd be the same if she met a sex/romance indifferent aroace but like #monkey d luffy #its already happened #mihawk is probably both an ally and queer himself but he just minds his own business so much that we may never know #one piece #seven warlords #warlords of the sea #bartholomew kuma

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

BASED. Finally someone actually acknowledging Tenko`s sexism and making her overcome it instead of unfunny jokes or ignoring it.

Making unfunny jokes? Lame

Ignoring it? BORING

Having Tenko run a primarily woman's shelter during the literal apocalypse which forces her to see actual genuine families that she in her heart cannot bare to turn away when she has resources to help, forcing her to interact with guys more then she had before and getting to observe them be good people trying to help their mothers and sisters. When clearly troubled by how this is changing her world views a nice older trans lady sees this young teenager trying to help everyone but clearly having gender essentialist views correctly blames her guardian for her teaching her those views then goes over to help/adopt her, slowly working through it and kindly correcting her when she messes up or says something bigoted and while Tenko's progress is slow and she still makes mistakes, a lot of them, its clear she's trying and she's growing and she'll get there one day and you just cant help but be proud of her while Tenko learns to be more then just what her master wanted for her and learns who she is outside this role she was molded into causing her to question herself in ways she never was allowed to before? BASED AS HELL

#my tenko has a very long journey that ends with a very poignant moment where she switches her label from lesbian to sapphic #giving her a sense of nuance and fluidity she felt lacked before in her old label that felt more assigned to her then naturally picked #this is of course not demonizing people who do identify as lesbians kirumi is right there being gay as hell there are several lesbians here #but for TENKO SPECIFICALLY the change is a sign of fluidity and growth learning that things arent always black and white and unbending #i think its really boring to insist tenko has to be a gold star lesbian #i think shes more interesting if she gets a chance to explore her attraction at her own pace even if that means actually giving boys a shot #and if she comes away still unattracted but now more solid that her attraction is just who she is and not who she is made to be thats good #and if she comes away thinking maybe she could theoretically like boys thats fine too! she deserves the chance to find out on her own terms #not her masters terms of isolating her and only exposing her to the worst for some god forsaken reason she deserves to explore herself #gender and sexuality is so much more fun in fanon when you realize its like water to splash around in #ever changing and very stimmy! #ndrv3 #uh oh this got long #anon chaos #my dr lore #tenko chabashira

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

i think i have this fear of being seen as a liar i think. like. everyone does it. and as a kid i stole stuff all the time and the way that was dealt with kinda just fucked with my head. do people see my kindness and my compassion as manipulation? am i read as someone trying to tear down the walls so i can get something while ur guard is down?. idk why someone thinking that of me makes me feel so miserable like. what if they were right? ive made mistakes before.. whos to say they arent right about this time? i dont want to stop being kind but it scares me to think about that.

#im so different to all the people ive met. i know afew kindred spirits. 2 is in my cule and im dating the other #but idk. some part of me Long ago decided that i wanted to bring comfort to people. when i see how rough the world gets.. #i know thats something i can do to make people feel better. even if its just 1 person. #what else has there been in my life worth living for. aside from the company it brings and the growth i get to be part of. #i never got to be this kind. i never got to be treated this kindly before i transitioned. #idk. i guess this stuff just makes me think im doing something wrong. am i not supposed to try and make other happy if i seem like a trick? #to me this is what being a woman means for me. in so many ways... maybe thats why it being doubted hurts so much. #anyway.. my blood sugar is low. and its 2am. ily reader. i hope its not too much.

[bucksboobs]

I’m the anon from the post before and I understand what you mean! I guess I just took differently when I watched the show. I don’t think Charlie or Nick was upset about Ben being closeted I think they (especially Charlie) we’re just upset how Ben treated Charlie the entire. Also I’m not saying this to be rude or start anything this is just how I saw it:) I think Charlie was angry (as he should) about how Ben treated him through out the relationship they had and not about him being closeted. Because I do believe if Ben just communicated better and treated him better and didn’t treat Charlie the way he did it could’ve worked out. I’m just saying that I didn’t see them bashing Ben for being closeted only bashing him for treating Charlie the way he did without acknowledging how it felt for him.

Yeah I don't think Charlie or Nick is mad about Ben being closeted but weirdly I think the narrative is and that's what irks me. All his issues and bad behaviors are because he's closeted (you said yourself that it's because he's closeted that he treats Charlie the way he does) but the story doesn't seem interested in exploring that so much as punishing him for it by having both Imogen and Charlie yell at him and then throwing him out of the series before he can improve at all.

And when this show is so renowned for it's love and celebration of queer experiences and identity it will always feel out of place that Ben was left out in the dust seemingly because he and his experiences were too complex.

#ben hope #heartstopper #sorry if you really like the show but I am absolutely not the only one that found the handling of Ben uncomfortable #especially when the character is so so young literally the same age as Nick #to deny him the chance to grow feels wrong to me and a lot of other gay men who didn't have our shit together by 16 #like this kid hasn't even taken his GSCE's which I assume are similar to the SATs or the Baccalauréat! #he needs to be given the opportunity to grow and he essentially gets the door shut in his face when he's trying to apologize #and to add to it Charlie gets that 'ambush me into accepting your apology' line that once again frames his own growth as a manipulation #which is FUCKED UP! #and from a writing perspective portrays the hand of the author pointing and screaming Hate This Boy Hate Him Hate Him #and the hand of the author should not be that obvious #it makes it feel disingenuous and as if Ben is just a stand in for someone who treated the author poorly #again this is all from a narrative perspective not a character perspective I want to make that clear because I see gay mutuals being lit up #by people who think Charlie should have been forced to forgive Ben or something #but thats not at all the argument any of us are making here

[pawbeanies]

funny thoughts tonite. i post a lot about s*x for someone who hasn't been kissed like actually !?!?

#like ive only ever had little like peck kisses if that makes sense . like a little chu #the One (1) time ex tried to kiss me w tongue my brain went ?! and i bit them on accident and we never tried again #which liek. again it feels so (melting emoji) to refer to them as Ex but it is GROWTH i think #i want to KISS i want to learn how to kiss and make out. is it too late i am 24 and a super turbo mega virgin #this blawg is MYYYYYY diary and i will say shjt as i go!! #actually the jdea of kissing gets me more t*rned on than s*x bc that is like. so intimate. thats ur mouths... ur AIR... #then again the idea of hand holding also gets me. its the intimacy u feel. im nyavous

[s0fter-sin]

wow so watcher just singlehandedly killed their channel

#i get wanting to ensure your company is profitable but moving everything onto a streaming service aint it chief #we are in a cost of living crisis and you want people to pay for another service? #when most are cancelling the ones they already have? #what are they thinking #‘we wanted to keep the price low enough to make it affordable for everyone’ whos everyone? i cant afford 60-72 dollars a year #and thats in usd #for me thats 93-112 bucks a year and thats not happening #how they didnt just start with a channel membership is beyond me #this was such a short sighted and out of touch idea #and theyve already started archiving their videos which makes the whole thing feel so disingenuous #and moving everything off youtube will mean theyll have no subscriber growth bc how are people supposed to discover them? #the comments on the video are so cordial everyone is saying this stuff by the hundreds #so heres hoping they roll it back #even their reasons for it being they cant do bigger production shows bc of their budget #people dont watch you for the production #i for one was a little put out when they started overproducing their shows it felt like they were trying to hard #its always been about their personalities #i just cant believe they didnt think this through #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #hey there demons it’s me ya boy #watcher #buzzfeed unsolved #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #ghoul boys #ghost files

[transexuality]

scott pilgrim takes off was good but i have my issues with it... from eps 1-5 i loved it & its perfect

#im gonna get into spoiler territory in the tags #i love what they did with roxie & todd #i thought wallace shouldve been more of a hater especially towards envy #and there should have been more friendship created on hatred for envy between ramona and wallace #envy was kind of dirty #done dirty* #compared to the comics at least #i love ramona #umm i think thats all #oh and the stuff they did with young neil is so funny considering hes suuuch a bg character in the comics #i think my biggest problems involve gideon & julie... idk why they did that... gideon as a character is better as a merciless villain #i also dont really like what they did towards the end with the future & time travel stuff... #and i think they forced & shoed in all of ramonas characters growth & her arc into the final episode #when it takes 6 volumes for her to grow in the comics #shrugggg #i do like that she was the main character though because shes my faaaavorite can you tell #i wish there was more envy & i wish joseph was there

[personshapedsplder]

Here's some more food for thought: did the kiy throw John away because they were too distinct as people for the fusing to work or simply because he didn't like what he saw? Was it physically impossible for them to be 1 anymore or was the king just intimidated by the intensity of love and growth in john and didn't know how to reconcile it?

#malevolent #you might ask whats the difference #well the difference is either john ends the story his own whole person OR theres a possibility he could be whole again so #long as all his parts are willing to do the work to reconcile the emotional growth hes experienced #ik how differentiated he feels from the idea of the king but he IS the king. and personally id love to see an ending where he becomes fully #himself again as a changed person #i dont think thats gonna happen but i like it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart #on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me #but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents #leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing #if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney #at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious #intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops #functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant #obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom #but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills #it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was #meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood #but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual. #i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more #we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week #its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die #so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her #computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to #before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the #feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird #unrelated

[sea-buns]

can i just say i feel like fearne is gonna have so much separation anxiety once the party’s back together. obviously everyone will have some level of it. but just thinking of the times before and after orym died. how often she said “i want to stick with you”. how she always made sure she knew what was going on with him when they split off. their conversation before everything went down. their worse-case scenario plan was literally the affirmation that they’d have each other no matter what. and then the completely unexpected happened and they were ripped apart. the crown keepers were her introduction to the customs of mortal relationships. bells hells removed the training wheels and dove into the depths of emotion head first alongside her. but orym has stayed a steady presence curled up in the crook of her knee from the start. through all the confusion of learning the intricacies of love and fear and loss, she could settle into the constant comfort of having his hand firmly grasped in hers. so to have it so violently wrenched away, to discover that that is a thing that can happen now... i’m anticipating a shift in her already possessive behaviors, to say the least

#another post to add to the long line of fearne and orym posts that are piling up in the corner #as i continue to not write the main post about their relationship and fearnes emotional growth that ive been wanting to do forever #maybe my favorite platonic relationship of this campaign. if not my favorite dynamic overall #they are so attached at the hip from the start IM so attached #critical role #cr3 #c3 #bells hells #fearne calloway #orym of the air ashari #been trying to think of a tag for them since i post about em so often #think im going with some variation of #bestie bbs #ideally i should decide on one but thats never been a thing ive been able to do before so why start now