#so im doing it my fuckin self

[skeletood]

Doing what i do best rn. (Turning characters into awesome women)

#have yet to see a genderbend of sp characters that i like #so im doing it my fuckin self #skeletalk #SCOTT PILGRIM #NOT SOUTH PARK #DEAR GOD

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide spoilers #JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL #SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS #BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY #THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT #but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested #I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK #bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2 #but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will #bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world #OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through #his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning #when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom #remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i. #LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary #when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED! #he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him! #but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude. #he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude #even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second. #even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself. #one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!! #chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!! #i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is #just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG #but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man. #thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.

[daftpatience]

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

#theres no peace #every little thing reminds me we are poor #seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time #im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly #the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job #and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support #and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money #because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live #its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin #time #cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for #sorry for the ranting i cant sleep #truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin #more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful #i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it #i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things #spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income #not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it

[mishapen-dear]

something about qbad mentioning how much horror he put red team thru every time purgatory gets brought up... something about how proud dapper was of him.

like this is just my late-night read but- it feels like guilt qbad is trying to twist into pride. he keeps needling away at it. “i killed them all, over and over and over again.” “they were hunted by a monster.”

it’s like- reassurance. like a nail he’s trying o beat into his head. he’s had SO much trouble with legitimately hurting his friends, despite making that vow all the way back when the eggs first went missing, despite all the tree talk and the promises to save the kids no matter what. He never faltered with elq, and that protected them. He keeps faltering now. Sometimes he doesnt remember the code, or cucurucho, or skeppy. But that doesnt matter, right? Because he’ll protect the eggs. He’ll be the monster. he is the monster. he can and he will protect them even as his seams start ripping and he keeps breaking further and further apart. even at his worst, he’ll do whatever he needs to protect the eggs.

he’ll be the monster. wont he?

#qsmp #he loves his friends and he wants to hurt them #he loves his friends and he doesnt want to hurt them #qsmp badboyhalo #ita like. He was torturing himself with the soul vultures because he kidnapped ron and threw down some scary magma mobs #and then forever changwd rhe whole fuckin narrative with that appreciation room and bad remembered the joy of community #and then cellbit. Where bad was like ‘i see him destroying himself to get the eggs back and i know where that road goes’ #’his loved ones dont want that to happen to him. i dont want that to happen to him’ #and then purgatory gave him the first actal legitimate lead for finding their kids and he just had to get worse #and so he fucking swandived into self destructive violence (and the cc was purposefully playing qbad more recklessly violent) #(bbgirl couldve been lured into a trap so so easily) #ive lost my point somewhere now im just rotating qbbh in my brain and all the parallels #ah yes. But now theyre out of purgatory. And he refuses to regret what he did because he *had* to do what he could to save dapper #and the other eggs #because he has a huge complex about being the ‘only one who can protect the eggs’ because of a thousand little cuts and his mental health #issues. Like he’s Wrong bur its such a fascinating little direction for his character. Yes king burn thyself on the pure of protection #and then burn in a nuclear blast too because your self sufficiency left you to care for your egg alone #you can take care of the eggs. you can hurt your friends. look at how much you hurt your friends #look st the monster you are . your teeth are sharp and your claws are large #never mind that time you sent tina into a panic attack because you tried to recreate safety #never mind that your friends and family are worried about you #you are falling apart. but so many monsters survive the killing blow

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Phullo there, I’d like to ask you a question! I hope I won’t be such a bothersome.

So, I’m planning to write a story about Laughingstock and since I find your storytelling very pleasing I figured it’d be a great idea to ask for your advice about the writing!

My Idea in general for this story is just Howdy taking a day off from working in his bodega. And basically, he’ll be just wearing normal clothes.. shocking truly.

And thennn, Barnaby and Howdy accidentally stumbled into each other’s path. They later then of course had a very long conversation that lasted until evening maybe.

Of course there’ll be some fishy moments like them looking at each other with goggly eyes and other cheesy romantic nonsense- but it’s just mainly them having their usual conversation with a ‘couple’ of jokes here and there. It’s supposed to be a sweet memory for them to remember basically.

So, what I’m really trying to ask you for is- how the heck do you start a story exactly and not make it into just the dialogues? Like, I want my story to be kind of long but I’m afraid it’ll be just them, y’know, talking and I really don’t want it to be boring.. therefore, I really need your help.

I am so sorry if it’s such a bad timing considering the fact that you just had an interview which I am very proud for you for that! Even if it didn’t go as expected at least you did good half of it.

Soo, yeah! I’d very much appreciate your advice and I am sooo sorry that this was soo long!!! And again, a bad timing too.. but hey if you got any time, please consider answering. Thank you..

Also any response yet? On the interview of course.

hmmm... in my experience and Knowledge Accumulated Over The Years via reading And writing... the best place to start is to just drop in. no story introduction, no "it was a dark and stormy night", just Start. it sounds like your story begins with Howdy taking the day off, so maybe kick off with him getting ready / choosing an outfit, or w/ him reflexively almost opening the store before he stops and chides himself for almost forgetting that he's taking the day off

to combat the dialogue, maybe detail him leaving the bodega to go into the neighborhood. what does he see? hear? feel both physically and mentally? is there anyone else out and about? set the scene! ive been struggling with this too lately since i haven't seriously written in a while and i haven't been reading actual books

WHICH! IMPORTANT TANGENTS!! read well-written books, Not fanfic! im not saying dont read fanfic ever or i'd be the world's biggest hypocrite, but also read actual books. it's important to study how published authors write, how stories are structured, dialogue and action. because these books have more often then not gone through a Rigorous screening process. multiple drafts, beta readers, publishers reading it with great scrutiny before agreeing to publish - of course there are exceptions, but a lot of books are the highest quality they can be, and will outshine most fics. because, and i say all of this as good things, fics are unregulated. most dont have beta readers. a lot are from amateur authors new to the scene. there will be spelling mistakes, weird grammar & sentence structure, etc - most fics have Entirely different writing styles from each other. so if you only read fanfic, That is what your brain will learn, and it's gonna be harder for you to write. published books have less variation in styles, and the styles are subtler. there's less spelling mistakes if any, so your spelling will improve. your internal vocabulary will expand. even if you don't consciously study what you read, your brain will pick up on & internalize patterns, how action works, how dialogue works, how to structure a story, all that good stuff. if you want, i can recommend well-written books! i've been an avid reader since... like, ever. i've got recs galore! you can tell me your preferred genre & literary interest and i'll probably have something for you! and if you're not big on books, well... get out of your comfort zone lmao, books are fucking awesome and i guarantee there are plenty out there that you would love.

and when you're writing dialogue, intersperse it with little actions or the main povs' internal dialogue. if there's a natural lull in the conversation, explore that lull! what do the characters do in this moment? what's going on around them? sprinkle bits of setting in so that your reader knows where they are and what's going on.

plus, exploring the non-dialogue sections of your story can, and often will, spark inspiration in your brain for scenes and actions to fill out the story if you want it to be long (but also! if you just want to write the scene of their conversation, that's the beauty of fanfic - there's no requirements. do whatever you want lmao). when Howdy is going into town, maybe Wally calls him over for a quick pose - does Howdy say yes or no, and how does that decision change the story? maybe Julie invites him to join her in a game, or Eddie stops to talk to Howdy about him being out and about. maybe there are some complaints over the bodega not being open. what's the lead-up to Howdy and Barnaby running into each other? do they literally run into each other? what happens when they do? those are just a few possibilities of many!

remember, when you're writing, you're that story's god. you can do literally fucking anything. you decide what the characters do, where they go, what happens in their world. that mindset should help you bolster the plot instead of just "these two characters have a conversation", yk?

i hope this helps!

#im so serious i am talking from personal experience #the quality of my writing improves after reading an actual book / when im reading one alongside writing #which is why im getting myself back into it #i spent a while not reading books and boyyyyy howdy have i suffered for it! #i miss when i was in elementary school reading at least one full length book a week... #BUT BOOKS HELP. GOOD BOOKS #not the fuckin cookie cutter booktok recs that're just a bunch of tropes slapped together #im talkin about the quality stuff. #im talkin about authors who really see the art in writing & storytelling #rambles from the bog #but also do take everything i say with a grain of salt #i have a lot of room for improvement myself & as with my art im an Entirely Self Taught Writer #so im by no means an expert on the subject! im a medium level writer at best <3 #and im not saying that in a derogatory way! it just means i have a ways to go in becoming a legitimately good writer #& reaching the level that i want. its something to strive for! #also thank you! ive never done an interview before so i really have nothing to compare it to!

[liverpool-enjoyer]

.

#for the first time im genuinely considering changing my major #n by considering i mean 'rlly want to but know deep down i cant' #cause like... i have NO IDEA what else i would do #like not a damn clue #so its either my current career path (which i have reason to believe im genuinely not cut out for) or... idk nothing??? #well i'd hafta do something #but idk what #its jus that after a LOT of thought ive come to the conclusion that me being a nurse will do so much more harm than good for other ppl #i made the most careless mistake last week that cost me a rlly valuable clinical experience at a SUPER reputable hospital #im the only one in my class who made that mistake #the only one stupid enough #like... gosh what am i DOING here? #im literally the least qualified person to be a nurse #im cold #im standoffish #i HATE being around people #when i told my friends n family i was going to nursing school they were shocked n WHY SHOULDNT THEY HAVE BEEN? #when you think of a nurse you think a someone whos kind. whos reliable. whos hardworking... im not any a those things #n its not even me being self depracating its an honest to gosh fact #oh also my grades fuckin suck lmao #like i literally know for a fact i got lower grades than every single other nursing major last semester #plus i was never going into nursing to help ppl #i went into it so i could sleep at night knowing ive done a 'good thing' #so yeah #ive put myself on a career path im not in any way cut out for #n i cant quit cause i have literally no plan b!!! #yay #idk what i was made for but its not this

[reinabeestudio]

you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh

#you ever get so annoyed that you draw ur irl self instead of your epic swag yass slay pretty sona #i didnt stop shaving for any statement btw it just drains me to do it & i havent been in the mood for months LMAO #i think i'm so used to the comfort of being surrounded by ppl presenting however they want and calling themselves whatever #sometimes i forget how. binary everything still is where i live #note that aint trans btw. i was afab & i dont fully identify as that currently but i have no problem being called a girl #and due to Health Reasons(tm) i get hairier than one would consider 'normal' for a woman (among other things) #(listen we all know gender is a nuanced spectrum but im not in the mood to talk about it in the tags of my own blog lol) #that + short + fat + voice breaks sometimes + mostly wears 'gender neutral' clothing. been mistaken for a prebuscent guy sometimes #(i say 'gender neutral' but its just regular ass baggy shirts and pants/jeans. 💥) #and if y'know me personally youre prolly reading this like 'what'. and yeah thats my reality sometimes LMAO #and im spanish so things are Extra gendered >8'D #i dont even bother explainin my gender to family its just not worth it so i take the she/her and move on #usually i dont talk about these irl things bc whatever but it's starting to irritate me lol #like. do i have to fuckin shave just to not be misgendered. fuckin christ dude #i need to get my yearly haircut btw. i dont like long hair on myself. its getting warm & it makes me sweat i hate it 🧍‍♂️

[sluckythewizard]

GUH. i started writing more. ill see if i can find the time to write a lil more while im at work (i will be working for 3 grueling days straight) but in the meantime heeere HEEERE have a small small sip.

#SELF INDULKGENT AS HEEEELLL but im having fun i think #i think i enjoy this 'chasing streams of thought' style of writing. i like slithering deep through the minds of characters. #i like digging their thoughts from their minds and laying them out in organized piles. #maybe sometimes i mix up the piles on purpose. im a wild cardt. im wacky. im unpradectable. whatll i do next? i dunno #I REALLY LIKE SODA. hes simple in a way. and yet also fairly complex. or something. i think hes dumb in the same ways i am #i gotta go finish getting packed for my 3 day expedidtion into the fuckin. stupid lands. but first. while im here. #listen to me boy. i am speaking directly into your ear. into your MIND. i need you to open 'you tube dot come' and i need you to #type into that search bar i need you to type: Viagra Boys ADD #and i need you to take that song and put it into whatever Emizel playlist u have. you will do this for me #if you fail to do so youll be in big trouple young man #you will never see the light of day. #ALSO IN OTHER NEWs i love faygo so ggoooodaamn much #i KNOW all the demons are Down w the Clown man they GOTTA BE

[toasteaa]

This draft isn't even actually a draft, it's just me putting down my full thoughts FOR the draft. Why is it already 45 fucking pages long, I'm going to throw myself off a cliff

#toast talks #Toast writes one extremely self indulgent neuvi x reader fic and it consumes her for three weeks. more at 11 #AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE SEX YET FUCK ME WHY DO I HAVE FULL FEATURE LEBGTH MOVIES FOR THOUGHTS #This is why I never post anything anymore because every single fic I want to write will end up being fuckin 70k words #That's even if I get it to come out how I want #Anyway #I've fallen back down the Neuvillette rabbit hole. Goodbye you will not see me again until I finish this fuckin draft #I think I should clarify it's 45 pages in my notebook and not on a computer. im writing front and back on pages so it's actually only like #22 pages and some change. But front and back of 22 pages at least #I'm getting delirious at this point I should really slow down but I can't whoops #This is what happens when your selfshipping doesn't have an outlet with friends. You go a little psycho bonkers and write a whole novel

[nezzling]

It's not up to you to decide if you're good enough for me, it's up to me to decide if I like you enough to keep you around. I'm so sick of people bailing on me cause essentially they don't like themselves and let that self loathing convince them I must feel the same. If I'm actively giving you time and attention, it's cause I think you're good enough for that. Stop leaving me cause you don't like yourself, that's weird, you should leave me cause I'm unbearably annoying at least wtf

#lil rambles #sorry im just so fuckin sick of it #people being like wow youre so pretty funny kind caring affectionate even in real life and like yes yes i am and i love that about me #so why do they all run from thag good just because they have self esteem issues #like do you not want the help of my light and love to help you learn to love yourself and grow with me #why you running you fuck get back here and face yourself properly for the first time in your life instead of avoiding self work #ive literally had so many dating stages end cause they dont think they are attractive enough specifically #like excuse me i like my partners a little ugly so that im guaranteed to be the funny AND pretty one #dont you want a funny pretty nymph of a wife what the fuck bros why dont you want that dream life #i guess some people just see themselves as nightmares and cant see that even a nightmare is a kind of dream too #its too early in the morning for this kind of introspection but i woke up early feeling nauseous and it made me sad and lonely #like idk if youre ugly and weird just treat me nice so that someone is there for me when im having a bad day or health day

[coffee-bat]

big boy hours continue

#yesterday i was soooo brave #bc in p.e. (technically self defense class bc thats what i chose) we had to spend a solid few minutes running at the start #like in a circle as warm-up #and i fucking died. i have marfan syndrome (which affects the heart even if you dont have the severe heart variant) AND anemia i cant fuckin #g run #i cant do fucking stamina-based shit i loose feeling invmy legs and get black spots imnediately #so after that i had to sit on the mat for a few mins and do my best not to pass out💀 #and i was absolute shit for the rest of the class bc i was exhausted and dizzy #so i decided to be a big boy and after class went to the trainer (who im a bit scared off) to ask if if i have a genetic illness that me- #*makes me #-have no stamina then can i just. not run please. or do i have to change my p.e. class (please no) #and it went very well! i dont have to change classes and im allowed to just do my own warm ups while theyre running #i was so scared of trying to ask for that😭 #im unreasonably happy with myself for doing what technically is a normal adult thing but. shh #ramble #personal

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#tbd #☉ #lemme start by prefacing this with I KNOW there's no real normal way to be human #ok i get that #but fucking HELL I wish i was normal #i wish my health was normal for my age #i wish i wasn't fucking. neurodivergent #im fine with being queer but ffs why am i in between normal queer and accepted Aroace-ness #why am i abnormal in that regard too #i wish I didn't alienate people i wish i didn't have to explain why im extra quiet and moody and minutes from a meltdown #i wish my hands and feet wouldn't swell up and hurt and burn and I wish i could take a fucking shower without feeling dread #because i had the water temp set to hot and now im dizzy and my heart is racing and im overheating -- alternatively I wish #i didn't feel so self conscious because i DONT shower every day or even every other day like i dont like when my hair goes limp either! #and i use deodorant everyday and wipe off when i can but i have fuckin Let's Sweat Buckets For No Reason Disorder so i always look and feel #like a drowned rat. im tired of being tired but not being able to sleep. im tired of not being able to explain that yes its really not you #its me. me wanting to be alone has nothing to do with you ok its my brain deciding to fuckin shut down because everything is too much rn #& idk how to tell you that im at my wits end but if you treat me with kidd gloves i WILL go off like a fuckin bomb. just treat me NORMAL ffs #just treat me normal 😭 i just want to be normal. i want to be able to sit down and just do my application stuff instead of #staring at a blank document for weeks and then wanting to throw things as the deadline approaches ( #its due friday and i have absolutely nothing written lmao) and idk if its executive dysfunction or anxiety or my tendancey to self sabotage #but either way im so fuckin fucked. im NOT in the headspace rn for writing a graduate school application letter. #trying hard not to cry rn bcs my friend and her parents are sleeping already bcs they have a 9-5 sleeping schedule to fit their 9-5 jobs #like i dont even have a normal sleeping schedule lmao mine's 2-10. i just don't understand why im so broken or whatever. not normal. #& i feel bad for bitching about it all bcs objectively i have a pretty decent life. i have a home i have food i have a family that loves me #im just back to feeling like im too much and also not enough and im so fuckin lonely. im tired of feeling lonely. and i think #ive got a platonic crush or two. or something. and idk how to handle that anymore. if i ever did. #idk idk i feel like im back to looking at the world and passersby through frosted glass again.

[cardboardcranium]

we should just start dropping whole pianos on people who think that noone should go on medications that didnt help them specifically. flatten those fucks like mario kart. roll their flattened forms and smoke them like joints

#meds alter the fuckin chemicals within your body hombre!!!! #your internal chemical bullshit is Different to Everybody Else!!! #Youre not a prophet of others experiences #just because lexapro or something ripped your cock off and beat you w/ it doesnt mean itll do that shit to everybody #also were dropping smaller pianos on people who say you shouldn't seek any therapy and “focus on self betterment” #because i took that advice and disassociated so fuckin hard i had no idea what was happening 24/7 #my ass stayed locked in my room for like a month barely even thinking staring at my ceiling hoping my fuckin neurons would stop firing #but now even seeking therapy has that same little scrambled cluster of neurons firing like a fuckin ship under siege #the shits in your brain are neurons right. i hope cause im not re-typing this shit. fuck that. #have a good day smoke all the crack u want #okay im done talking about my mental health from like 3 years back now. #im so fuckin tired ouuygghh #goodniiiighhhhtttt #but yeah i got people i care about and can discuss mental health shit with. and services i can go check if my shit gets bad again #love you bbbbbbyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee oookkaayyy byyeeeeeeee love uu love uuuuuu

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP

#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI #hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA #(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING????? #my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??)) #like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent #he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy #cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me #its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird #idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on #a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but #STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also #i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it #look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could #make me worse <3 I Want Him #and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3 #i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER #OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS) #might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really #GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3

[love-songs-for-emma]

am i going to single-handedly create a fandom about jay holt from the video game "as dusk falls"? i just fuckin might

#i Cant stop thinking about him. ive literally been dreaming about him. i Need to help him. please #hes just a fuckin kid!!! (18?? 19??) hes a TEEN and his family is FUCKED and its not his FAULT #none of this was his fault. he deserves so much fuckin BETTER #also i thought i didnt care about vanessa but then shes got dead brother trauma hi hello hiiiiii #and now jay does too #fuck my LIFE #ive never been one for self-inserts but actually me jay and vanessa hang out regularly in a tree house we built #we laugh and shoot the shit and talk about what losing our brothers have done/are doing to our psyche #as dusk falls #jay holt #vanessa dorland #new hyperfix u say ? this one will be brief hopefully. bc the game is fucking. unfinished. stupid ass cliffhanger ass bjtch ass #plus im rewriting canon so jay has a good young life. no timeskip for MEEE #maria is literally just rambling. hi #.txt #the only fic ive ever written/outlined was about alana bloom from nbc's hannibal & she Deserved a rewrite #but maybe i need to indulge in writing jay holt's better reality TOO #theres a quote. hang on. a quote from a beloved piece of media. why cant i recall what its from rn #but theyre talking about different timelines n shish and one of them says ''maybe this *is* your best reality'' and its SO sad. fuck #is it hannibal. i feel like its always hanniba #no but also i feel like its not??? #its like ''this is your best life. youre not getting a better one'' #what the eff is that. im gonna be stuck on this forever #EDIT: IT IS FROM FUCKING HANNIBAL. BUT ITS GODDAMN FREDRICK CHILTON OF ALL PEOPLE WHO SAYS IT #''The optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true. #This is your best possible world Will. Not getting a better one'' #fucking CHRIST chilton #lines that go HARD

[t1ght3r]

alright i dont know where the fuck else to put thiz or how it workz but fuck it im lonely

im a factive of jimmy urine and im lookin for. juzt any1 honestly. im so desperate. obv other factives from source (even if we are the same guy. idc) or musicians my source wuz friends with are top of my list but thatz kinda a long shot.

just any1 really. other musician factives in similar genres, people who are cool with factives, whatever. just plz kinda know my fuckin source and be okay with me talkin about it n shit (i still interact with it but most otherz in sys cant cuz ocd)

like, i know, I FUCKIN KNOW OKAY! JESUS. i may be a factive of him but im not a fuckin 1 to 1 copy of the bastard. like im fuckin edgy, weird, and gross, but not like THAT alright. leave me the fuck alone and block me if ya wanna start shit cuz ill swing back <3

i have been dormant and we didnt kno i wuz a factive (or that we even had any, period) despite it bein painfully fuckin obvious (see: everything about me) we just didnt fuckin realize til this front (they r stoopid) probz cuz i didnt claim the same name til now lolz. and now that they did im not allowed to fuckin show myself 2 anybody we know, unless theyre extra fuckin cool.

at least i know im not a damn fragment from this front cuz ive felt like a million bux and also like total shit

general warningz for ya: we are fucked in the head with mental problemz (ask and i can tell you maybe <3) and were physically dizabledddd. addicted to fuckin so much shit and im not gonna dance around it i dont care. im fuckin weird and gross and a hater and i really dont give a shit about it even tho the otherz in my brain do (i am not a frequent fronter). my fellow degeneratezzzz i wanna be yr friend.

i make art too but i wont post 4 obvious reasons (you want 2 see it so fuckin bad 👁 talk 2 me).

dm me on this blog and we can go frum there!! this is a side blog btdubzzz i follow frum the hosts main.

maybe ill make an intro post and pin it, who fuckin knows i just hate talkin about myself in a for realz way

im probably forgettin shit i had to retype thiz cuz tumblr sux dix. i just really need some fuckin friendz </3

#musician factive #factive canon call #msi factive #mindless self indulgence factive #im not tagging the main tag are you fuckin insane? #factive #fuckin somebody. anybody. #wack!.txt #jesus i typed so much i dont do that i juzt dont feel like gettin somebody on my ass about it and i got no real info on thiz blog #musician factive canon call